It's really disappointing when people just don't know their boundaries and place. What's worse is ignoring the people who are getting hurt as a result of their irresponsible actions and instead victimizing themselves,,,

@dreamiedips8624

2 жыл бұрын

So true 🥺😭😭😭

@KimberlyBeaty-rd1dz

11 ай бұрын

😊21😮😊😊😊1😊1😮

Emotional affairs or infidelity is the gateway to divorce. There should not any such thing. I find it even worse than physical relationships. Don't even go near to that.

When he stopped loving me, I started loving myself. I'm not removing jewels from my crown to make it easier for him to carry, I'll find a man with bigger hands. Be blessed, Thank you for sharing.

An emotional affair is just a physical affair that hasn't happened yet. That's all it is, it's just the flirtation period that works its was up to sex. But it is inevitable.

Anything done on the sly is an affair. An emotional affair will eventually lead to a physical affair. Always be transparent with your spouse. Remember that marriage is a covenant and keep that covenant no matter what.

In betrayal, persons aura is broken and damaged, causing literal physical pain and devastation. It is very real, often lasting and if not attended to, a source of betrayal PTSD and other deep wound related consequences.

My issue is my partner refusing to eliminate communication with several ex-lovers. And I’ve discovered that there is open and covert communication on a regular basis. When I express displeasure, I’m told I have jealousy issues. These relationships were already physical in the past.

@saycog1084

Жыл бұрын

Been there, not even openly communicating it helped. If you can, leave and find someone that respects you. They know they’re hurting you. Best to you!😊

Emotional affairs equal emotional cowardice because the cheater won't turn to their partner and be honest with them about what they want, so they would rather use somebody else to get their needs met. Cowardice.

@suzettemyers6058

2 жыл бұрын

💯%

@Kiri_-so3ei

2 жыл бұрын

Amen

@lotusmccary9365

2 жыл бұрын

Sometimes it is asked for and not given

@tuffstuff2U

2 жыл бұрын

@@lotusmccary9365 well in that case at least the person that's asking for it has an answer! Then *both* people can make a decision from there. But you got to ask to find out, and if it's not given then it might be time to make some tough choices.

@tuffstuff2U

2 жыл бұрын

@@BuddhaofBlackpool then they should be bold enough to tell their partner about their desire for "strange", and then let their partner decide if they're cool with that or not in their relationship. It's about communication and consent.

If your husband is having an emotional affair with another woman and sleeping with you isn't he just using you for sex? that's how I felt

@deshanneshookD4U

Жыл бұрын

Wow, my husband can’t even stay hard for me🤦🏽‍♀️

One person cannot satisfy our needs, very strong and realistic, if they're in the right order, EXCELLENT POINT

I'm dealing with this scenario right now and I can tell you it hurts to the core ! She was built up to be the most honest and caring person that you could ever meet and I believed it 100 % come to find out 12 years into our marriage that she has been doing this with dozens of men and when I ask her why, she says I don't know 😢 I am devastated and now she says that she has cut it off completely ! My gut says it's another in a long list of lies !

My wife was in several inappropriate emotional affairs and it destroyed our marriage and led to an attempted suicide that left me disabled. We are divorced now but to this day she still says just get over it. Wish I would have known how she really is as a person before I invested my entire heart and soul into another human being who ultimately destroyed me. I will NEVER get close to another person ever again

@emokiriemiabednegoabed2844

4 жыл бұрын

Smartness is mandatory in a relationship and cyberhackinggenius helped cloned my spouse device and I got access to all his dealings both on phone and social media without touching his devices. All I did was share my husband’s phone number with cyberhackinggenius and I was able to read both his new and deleted messages from a cloned device without having to touch his phone. I read all his Whatsapp, Facebook,Instagram and Snapchat messages Including the deleted text messages and iMessages. You can contact him via Gmail (cyberhackinggenius) or text and speak to him directly on his phone and WhatsApp : +19256795146 and don’t forget to thank me later

@inchkademuiter3048

3 жыл бұрын

I am so sorry to hear that. I pray that things may get better for you.

@isay207

Жыл бұрын

But there could be someone wonderful out there dont let one hurt stop you from living

Great video Susan! I think you know it’s an emotional affair if you are keeping your “friendship” with other person a secret. You know deep down your partner wouldn’t be ok with it, and you don’t want to have to end it.

@emokiriemiabednegoabed2844

4 жыл бұрын

Smartness is mandatory in a relationship and cyberhackinggenius helped cloned my spouse device and I got access to all his dealings both on phone and social media without touching his devices. All I did was share my husband’s phone number with cyberhackinggenius and I was able to read both his new and deleted messages from a cloned device without having to touch his phone. I read all his Whatsapp, Facebook,Instagram and Snapchat messages Including the deleted text messages and iMessages. You can contact him via Gmail (cyberhackinggenius) or text and speak to him directly on his phone and WhatsApp : +19256795146 and don’t forget to thank me later

@DougScott64

Жыл бұрын

Absolutely spot on!

@HarryAcorns

Жыл бұрын

What about having an emotional affair, at the least. And then arranging a chance encounter with the affair partner, and his daughter. With your family. Your daughter and the ap daughter are the same age. Now you can "visibly" become friends with your ap and the husband is none the wiser. Basically setting up a way to get your ap into the family friend space. To the betrayed, he's just thonl8ng this guy is a new friend now. Not knowing the ap is looking and thinking about his wife like a juice T-bone steak.

Great video! Found out recently my gf has been in contact with her ex since we've been together (6mths) says they just check in on eachother, but didn't want to tell me cause I'd be upset... I'm so done. Trust is gone. She admits she has an emotional attachment issue. All set with that! She the most emotional immature person I've ever met.

@zion367

2 жыл бұрын

That sucks. How are you feeling now? Did you guys work through it or was your trust too broken to continue?

@lisabrown9286

Жыл бұрын

@Shawn White - same here - only several ex-lovers. After breaking up and receiving a promise to cut off contact, I came back and contact resumed (if it was ever actually stopped)

Thanks for your video. Im on the receiving end of my wife's emotional affair with another male on the other side of the country whos doing the same thing. Anyway, supposedly they are "soulmates" so both families are now broken. It's just truly selfish, self-absorbed behaviour....

Either way the partner is turning outside of the relationship for acceptance. Not good by any means

I think that many men are not aware that there is such a thing as an emotional affair. Men think that, if there is no sex, there is no affair. They think that they just have a very very good friend who happens to be a woman. And that their flirting is just flirting. There are good guidelines here and other places on what separates friendship from and emotional affair. The man must also consider the feelings of the woman in an emotional affair. He does not want to hurt either his wife or the other woman by stepping over the line into an emotional affair. On the other hand. A man does want to maintain his attractiveness to other women. It is a concrete way of determining if he is maintaining his attractiveness to his wife. If other women are losing their attraction to him, how can he expect his wife to maintain her attraction to him. Thus, one way for him to maintain his wife's attraction is to maintain a body, fashion, personality that other women find attractive. That is an unbiased measure of how well he is maintaining his attractiveness. Just don't let maintaining attractiveness to other women turn into an emotional affair. Or, if it inadvertently turns into one, end it quickly and learn from it.

@SusanWinter

5 жыл бұрын

Great points, Anon. Thanks for this!

@galaxyglitterlatte4664

5 жыл бұрын

I agree 100 % that most men don't even know what an emotional affair is!!! To them flirting is no biggie as long as they don't actually cross the line into physical territory. I do think the emotional affair can be more damaging to the marriage than a physical one however...

@chrisn2125

3 жыл бұрын

Christine Mushala sorry but women do this too. I know many more women that behave like this than men.

@aislingconnolly5823

3 жыл бұрын

I don't agree.we don t own people and cannot prevent them from having friends male oe female when we are in a relationship.Thats called possesiveness!!

@lonniewhite4262

Жыл бұрын

@@aislingconnolly5823 yeah but you are off point. We are talking about emotional affairs, not just friends.

I was in a situation that I only just found out and is called emotional infidelity, I regret it, i played it off as best as I can because I thought it was harmless, I was wrong and my partner ended the relationship, after more research I know what I did was wrong, It hurts to admit that and even more so than to know I hurt my ex partner. I stuffed up and wish the best for her. Owning up and accepting what I have done is difficult, but necessary. It hurts but hey I was the one that did it. Open communication /clear boundaries /trust, key to a healthy relationship. Nip this in the bud before I continue onto the next relationship doing the same thing over and over.

My ex bf told me that the only cheating was him having sex with someone. And said. Why can’t I talk to other women. Oh being in a relationship with him was a shit show!! So glad to be done!

My 31 year old partner is having an emotional affair with his 18 year old colleague. It makes me feel sick. Everything is a secret and when I confronted him with what I knew he called me insecure and said they were just friends. Then said he needed space and walked out. He's still seeing her though.

@krockcock5316

3 жыл бұрын

Take the space and walk out.

@laurarose6772

2 жыл бұрын

@@AllergicToMakeBelieve Yes, it continued in secret. I found photos on our joint account of them taking sunset walks together and also overheard him talking to her about me, saying horrible things and laughing about my pain. I thankfully decided enough was enough and left :)

@samantacool152

2 жыл бұрын

@@laurarose6772 Woow girl run and don't ever look back" he is a disgusting person. U will find someone who deserves ur respect.

@kerrymillar1267

Жыл бұрын

@@laurarose6772 I’m sorry this sounds awful.

Your right it feels like being disrespected ! I spoke with my boyfriend about talking to his coworker on social media and at work and when he is at work on messenger a year ago and I expressed my concerns and heard they were just friends and he knew her before me from work she is younger and posts hearts on his Facebook etc and lately he has been acting different towards me so I looked at his phone and saw the messages from her to him saying she will be working on his department and he hearted that , I find that disrespectful am I wrong 😑 probably for going in his phone but he has lied about little things since I met him

@31Sunshine

Жыл бұрын

I totally agree with you... How have things been lately if I may ask?

The affair - It can start emotional then turn physical, or it can start physical then turn emotional. But he started it then denied it. Not sure which way was first as anything he told me seemed a lie afterwards. Done.

EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU UPLOAD A VIDEO IT ALWAYS STRIKES RIGHT TO MY CORE AND HITS EXACTLY WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH! I am so impressed by how I can be experiencing and feeling these things and then *BOOM* Susan comes out with a video that talks about exactly what I'm going through! I love you Susan!

@SusanWinter

5 жыл бұрын

AND I ADORE YOUR NOTE!!!!! BOOM.

@RileySoares

Жыл бұрын

I agree Hannah. She is amazing and so wholesome

How can this be? My ex-wife told me they were, "Just friends." Lol.

@patriciasango8947

3 жыл бұрын

¹1¹111

@Surfsup448

3 жыл бұрын

Key word EX lol

@goinggaga4ladygaga

2 жыл бұрын

When someone feels the need to put the word ‘just’ before friends, then that’s a relationship that has crossed over some sort of boundary

It hurts just as bad as a physical affair trust me,I can only say because unfortunately it happen to me.

@defpikaleon2063

3 жыл бұрын

Yes my current situation.Not only your heart shatterred but your soul.

My ex ditched me for a better marriage prospect out of nowhere. Later messaged me that she doesn't connect with him on an emotional level the way she does with me. I'm not gonna lie, I did cave in, met her for coffee a few times and she would share things between the two of them that would rile my feelings such that I can't explain. Eventually I asked myself the question, "Would I like it if my girl is emotionally connect to his ex?". And the answer was clear as day. Even thought she's contacted numerous times, from that day I went no contact till date because it was the RIGHT thing to do and also as I needed time to HEAL myself. Now, I'm awaiting a hand that doesn't leave midway and be assured my grip is firm🙂

@SusanWinter

5 жыл бұрын

Wow, what a story. You're strong and clear. Best wishes

@zaslamel56

5 жыл бұрын

Thanks a lot, Susan. Your help is much appreciated. Take care.

@emokiriemiabednegoabed2844

4 жыл бұрын

Smartness is important in a relationship and cyberhackinggenius helped cloned my husband’s phone and I got access to all his dealings both on phone and social media without touching his phone. All I did was share my husband’s phone number with cyberhackinggenius and I was able to read both his new and deleted messages from my phone without having to touch his phone. My husband was a cheating Narcissist and I’m glad to find out all his secrets and infidelity with the help of cyberhackinggenius. I’m here in UK and able to access my husband’s phone messages with a link on my phone even while he was away in Canada cheating on me. I got to discover that my husband who is legally married to me here in UK is also recently married to another woman in Canada and I’m finally going through a divorce with lots of evidence against him. I read all his Whatsapp, Facebook,Skype,Instagram and Snapchat messages Including the deleted text and recent messages. You can contact this great Hacker Gavin via Gmail (cyberhackinggenius) or text and speak to him directly on his phone and WhatsApp : +19256795146 and don’t forget to thank me later.

@oliverstone4634

4 жыл бұрын

i needed a hacker to spy on my ex wife so he hacked her Instagram account which i had access to that was when i discovered my ex was having an affair thanks to cybercracker07@gmailcom they have the best hackers.

I had some emotional affairs because my husband was emotionally unavailable... and after 30 years of marriage he left me for another woman and he said that he held a grudge that came from something i said in our 2nd year of marriage so never emotionally shared again. I didn't know i caused that problem nor did i realize he held that against me to close him off in that way. The whole thing was eye opening and frightening and very sad. Honest communication with the one you are committed to or who you prioritize is essential and if nothing can be done to change situation or discover more between you, it may be time to let go of each other before the situation becomes toxic

Thank you for this. But my problem is my husband had an emotional affair with his ex for over 5 weeks and then I found out and comfronted him. He of course lied and said she was his cousin. Then he broke our relationship off and said he didn't love me for years. That she was his destiny. He told me about this for a few weeks that he didn't love me. So being legally separated I told him I was moving on. I was so hurt and broken. I met someone who help me out of that and met him. This was over a month after we separated. My husband who had this affair and still does. Asked for me back 2 months after we split up. I took him back because I loved him. He found out about the other man that was not in the picture anymore and treated me as if I was the worst person in the world. He still cheats with her and keeps it from me and then I found out he had a dating site that he was talking to local woman. I don't know how to explain to him that I never cheated and have not but I don't understand him and how he thinks he can do this over and over.

@sukiosartchannel3689

Жыл бұрын

Sounds like he's a narcissist. Run.

@isay207

Жыл бұрын

Dont let him you deserve better

I have only recently been made aware of emotional affairs . It has changed my whole perspective on friendships with the opposite sex. I certainly wouldn't deliberately hurt anyone this way and im sure others would agree. However, on reflection, clear boundaries in these scenarios may be the best way for all concerned.

Ladies cheating is a choice not an excuse, no matter what he told you, he didn't have a gun on his head, but he chose to go that way. You to have this same choice hard to believe but true, don't be down, but look up always look up ..

@tarashan5465

5 жыл бұрын

Audrey Sandra he told me that because i was blah blah he wanted to teach me a lesson .😒he hurt me so bad ... and he didnt take responsibility... after a few months a found out that he is cheating again . Im heart broken and im angry at myself.

Thank-you sister Susan🙏

My husband has a work wife. I hate it. They work together, talk everyday. He talks to her more than me. He says it’s because after 9 years there’s not much to talk about. He goes off to work and will go 4 days without a text or call even to say hi. He knows I don’t like her and I feel crazy for not liking their relationship. I don’t know what to do anymore.

No one can ever completely comprehend what emotional cheating does to the other spouse. And not every situation is the same. And isn’t as Cut and dry as “oh they had an emotional affair” depending on the hurt spouses background and what is going on i their life at that time can have permanent effects that can and probably will last a lifetime. And I’m sorry I do not feel or even think the “other woman’s” feeling matter in this as she has made the choice as well as him to get involved with a married man. Even if you didn’t know at the time that they were married the minute you found out he was you should have cut all ties. Because fave it he isn’t going to, but you continuing the “relationship” no matter what your feelings are you are more so at fault than he is. So no I have no sympathy for the “other woman” Karma is real and they will both get theirs. And if kids are involved you are not just hurting his wife but those children also! Walk away when you know they are married! If you choose not to then you are saying that what you want is more important than the wife or the children involved. And yes he is to blame also but if you don’t put it out there..... take some responsibility for the actions you choose.

@emokiriemiabednegoabed2844

4 жыл бұрын

Smartness is mandatory in a relationship and cyberhackinggenius helped cloned my spouse device and I got access to all his dealings both on phone and social media without touching his devices. All I did was share my husband’s phone number with cyberhackinggenius and I was able to read both his new and deleted messages from a cloned device without having to touch his phone. I read all his Whatsapp, Facebook,Instagram and Snapchat messages Including the deleted text messages and iMessages. You can contact him via Gmail (cyberhackinggenius) or text and speak to him directly on his phone and WhatsApp : +19256795146 and don’t forget to thank me later

@lotusmccary9365

2 жыл бұрын

At the end of the day the husband isn't getting his emotional needs met. And whether it was this one or that one. He decided to get his needs met elsewhere. It is so simple to blame the other woman. I do feel sorry for the other woman because she is going to get hurt big time. Ultimately most men won't leave their children or their money. They will stick it out with the wife because they love their children more than both women

@lotusmccary9365

2 жыл бұрын

At end of the day the husband loved himself more than either woman

@arianbyw3819

2 жыл бұрын

@@lotusmccary9365 the husband chose to cheat. His other woman chose to cheat. They aren't kids, there are consequences.

@Cc-fj9bf

Жыл бұрын

@@lotusmccary9365 what a gaslighting response. If he wasn’t getting his “needs” met, guess what, he can communicate that. Is he that severely deficient he can’t problem solve instead of emotionally cheating? He’s the cornball who decides to “wahhh” run to another woman instead of being a damn man and fixing what he recognizes isn’t working. He’s a coward and your response sounds like someone who manipulated a woman into thinking your cheating ass behavior was justified and somehow her fault. Shame on you

My husbandsays it’s entertainment for him to add & dm attractive women on social media. he claims it’s innocent & the flirts give him validation… it absolutely guts me and I feel so betrayed. I’ve expressed my hurt over the years, we’ve been in therapy (together and separate) and he swears he will stop it but never does.. I thought we had a great relationship for a long time- I always try to be supportive, show him affection and always thankful for all he does despite so many hardships we’ve faced together… But I feel like that “entertainment “ is worth ultimately losing our marriage over… I’m always paranoid and always feel like second fiddle now, my heart hurts. He says I need to compromise, half the time he is very loving and affectionate, helpful, supportive and that that should be enough for me. I feel stupid but I just can’t shake the upset about it & that it will escalate over time. I know a divorce would result in absolute hell and drama so I’ve been trying to avoid it for the meantime.. I’d like to emotionally detach as it’s financially impossible. Am I crazy?! Should I be ok with it?

Thank you for explaining the deeper nuances around this. I have watched many of your videos and appreciate your wisdom and clarity of thought so much.

Dear Susan, great video, thank you so much for all you do. Please make a video about what to do and how to heal when your partner has an affair, never admits to it, lies and gaslights you. Even though he sees the pain, heartbreak and suffering you are going through and never tells you the true, how do you deal with this and the crazy making? Much love.

@SusanWinter

5 жыл бұрын

I'm so sorry. Truly. What a coward for shirking the truth and leaving you holding the emotional bag.

@terrenceacoose8490

4 жыл бұрын

I'm going through a similar situation. It's hard to deal with the fact that she doesnt seem to care, but like the video says. The cheater becomes so obsessed with their own happiness they can no longer see clearly. They create justifications in their minds to make themselves feel better.

Susan, you are an angel. Thanks for sharing your knowledge, wisdom and experience. ✨

My ex wife got involved with her coworker. It grew into an emotional affair physical affair never confirmed but likely. Then she left and filed for divorce. Yup. Oh well.

@emokiriemiabednegoabed2844

4 жыл бұрын

Smartness is mandatory in a relationship and cyberhackinggenius helped cloned my spouse device and I got access to all his dealings both on phone and social media without touching his devices. All I did was share my husband’s phone number with cyberhackinggenius and I was able to read both his new and deleted messages from a cloned device without having to touch his phone. I read all his Whatsapp, Facebook,Instagram and Snapchat messages Including the deleted text messages and iMessages. You can contact him via Gmail (cyberhackinggenius) or text and speak to him directly on his phone and WhatsApp : +19256795146 and don’t forget to thank me later

Ladies don't do it. Just RUN if they are married. Been there done that. Bottom line, these men are bad news and most likely their wives have low self esteem. Let them keep him. He's a life of chaos.

@emokiriemiabednegoabed2844

4 жыл бұрын

Smartness is mandatory in a relationship and cyberhackinggenius helped cloned my spouse device and I got access to all his dealings both on phone and social media without touching his devices. All I did was share my husband’s phone number with cyberhackinggenius and I was able to read both his new and deleted messages from a cloned device without having to touch his phone. I read all his Whatsapp, Facebook,Instagram and Snapchat messages Including the deleted text messages and iMessages. You can contact him via Gmail (cyberhackinggenius) or text and speak to him directly on his phone and WhatsApp : +19256795146 and don’t forget to thank me later

Thank you susan for wonderful explanation...🙏

I needed to be reminded of this

You are so smart, Miss Susan! ❤

@SusanWinter

5 жыл бұрын

And you are thoughtful to say so.

I agree that thin line shud never be gotten close to ever or anywhere in that area at all

My wife is in an online emotional relationship and it's the second one in about two years, this one is with the man she lost her virginity to at 13, I always thought she kept a few men on the line just in case, but this one seems like it's much more serious she's risking her marriage and his if his wife knew what I know I'm sure she'd kick him to the curb, I emailed him and asked if it was physical and he denied there was anything between them, I believe it's more on her side the way she throws herself at him, either way she's totally denies me and we've even entertained divorce, and ofcourse I'm totally the bad guy for finding her emails to start with and for confronting her about it, she's tried to demasculate me which got physical, but it seemed to straighten up her attitude a bit, but I'm still not touching her, not sure how long it'll be before it gets physical she keeps finding more excuses to stay out late and I'm not sure if I have the interest are energy enough to keep track of her movements, maybe divorce is the right answer since this relationship is totally on hold.

@ricksharp6597

4 жыл бұрын

@Junior Orldel thank you very much for your information, my wife is in a vicious circle now I found a text dated 11/27/2020 where she's asked her old lover out I confronted her and she got very defensive wouldn't even talk about it so I texted her that if that's what makes her happy then I want her to be happy but that she knew in her heart of hearts the only right thing to do is give me an equitable divorce and wished her well, I'm through with her brother and I do feel your pain but soon shell be a forgotten memory so keep your head high and your nose clean things only get better.

Emotional cheating is more painful than physical cheating.

@6548ww

5 ай бұрын

I wouldn’t say worse but equally as bad it usually leads to a physical affair 90% of the time anyway it’s just a matter of time from when it starts

Thank you.

You look fabulous in that plum Color and I love the Hair Color and cut! It really is a nice warm natural look and it suits you! Gorgeous! So rich! Adorable Puppy too!

@SusanWinter

5 жыл бұрын

Thank you Victoria

Even with all family members and you only get to know about it after it's been going on for years and when they get in trouble among themselves..

Yes, if one partner thinks everything is great and you're both still wanting the marriage and behaving as a couple (sleeping together). But I'd be interested in navigating the gray area of the following: Sometimes, a marriage is done except for the paperwork and the moving out of one or both partners. If you've been sleeping in separate rooms for a long time AND are in agreement that everything is ending, then what... should we NOT even TALK to the opposite sex or possibly flirt? 🤔 The moving out and settling of division of assets of legal divorce takes time! A lot of time if the courts are backed up (and many have been during and since COVID). And many couples do not have the resources to just go get their own place until the home is sold and the equity is split so the divorcing couple ends up HAVING to stay as roommates for a while. It sounds awful to me but I have a girlfriend in this position now. Her husband and her are in this process and she has meet someone who interests her romantically. Her and that new interest are only talking, but she is feeling more for him as time goes on and yet her lawyer does not have a definitive date yet on when many things will be finalized. I wonder what Susan's advice would be for these situations.

I read a lot of these responses. An emotional affair doesn't always mean one person is married. One person is in a relationship and one of the partnres is getting emotionally involved with another. Or you can have 2 sets of relationships/married/unmarried/long term partners and a partner from each gets emotionally involved.

@terrylaguardia6838

4 жыл бұрын

Or neither one is married anymore but it’s an emotional affair because it’s long distance. Which doesn’t mean it’s unreal.

Just so much guilt here. Be honored! I think most people just can't face reality.

Happy new year to you.

I must say i struggle with this topic as a woman. I really love my partner and his children and i am very happy with them. At the same i run into other attractive men from time to time and sometimes form an emotional bond which is in the friendzone but at the same time both parties know that there is also physical attraction. I have been like this all my life however happy i was in a relationship. I dont cross the line of starting an affair or exchanging sexual messages or something and i never discuss my relationship in an intimate way with such a friends. I have some of these male friends for over twenty years and even when i was single i didnt give into the sometimes desire, because i valued the friendship more than sex. I guess life is not white and grey. Fortunately i have a man who is not insecure or intimidated by this but who lets me have this extra male attention.

@elimarseli

2 жыл бұрын

I think that you are fluid in your intimacy with all relationships and found someone who is fluid just like you. So it works for you, and that is great but, it won’t work for those who aren’t fluid in their believe systems as you are. I would also like to address that labeling folks that are different as insecure is incorrect. It’s okay to have values/morales that differ from yours.

@TomikaKelly

10 ай бұрын

Perhaps monogamy isn't for you and you should explore polygamy.

@simini1837

10 ай бұрын

@@elimarseli yes you are right about that!

Thank you for sharing your knowledge and wisdom! There’s a special someone in my life who used to be a friend. After many years we got in touch again and I hoped it could be more than friendship. Turned out they were in a relationship. Yet, our friendship continued to be flirty and eventually, what I would call quite close and intimate. However, there’s no actual physical cheating involved. Unfortunately I know if I was in their partner’s postion, I wouldn’t be happy. I also hoped their relationship would turn out to be not that serious and somehow end eventually, but it’s been long term and they say they feel good in that relationship. There are good and worse days but I don’t feel good about it. I feel confused and disappointed and I want to find a way to fix the situation.

Oh my dear Susan... Most men think that if there is not sex that is not an affair.. That secret "texting friend" that entertain them day and night updating them on everything they do is just a friend. But got for bit something happen between you and him... He will run to that very special friend's arms for a hug and a kiss and God only knows what else.

@Gonza2024

5 жыл бұрын

@michael jordan Did the boot fit???? lol

Thankyou susan love ur videos

@SusanWinter

5 жыл бұрын

I appreciate your note!

That’s why there are marriage vows - forsaking all others - that’s how important it is 100%

When one spends a lot of time on the likes of social media, he/she (partner) takes away the time meant for you(the relationship). Time is a part of our lives. This surely falls in the category of emotional cheating.

@ronaldwhite4671

3 жыл бұрын

Social media needs to be banned in my opinion

@lotusmccary9365

2 жыл бұрын

Excellent point

Thanks susan

I had and am currently trying to get over having an emotional affair that got physical. Whether it got physical or not I don't believe mattered to me. The need for that person was and remains so strong. There is so much help for the betrayed spouse but so little for the wayward spouse. All this struggle after being married 30 years. Such wrenching pain from both individuals, the BS and WS. Hopefully with time and effort will come healing for all.

@bluegrassgirl9430

5 жыл бұрын

BW, I'm in the same current situation. Both emotional and physical. It's sooo hard to walk a way from someone you love. Mine is long distance, which helps. But we have flown to each other twice and spent 5 days/nights together. I know it needs to stop, I just don't know how. Need advice desperately

@bw6078

5 жыл бұрын

@@bluegrassgirl9430 I understand the pull. It's like nothing you have experienced before. My relationship began in 2012, so it went on for a long time. My life revolved around her. I feel your pain. Realize that we only got to experience the best in those relationships and for that reason doesn't make them real life. As heavenly as they were or are. I understand that doesn't take away your feelings but recovery and healing is a step by step and minute by minute procedure as we work on ourselves. Also realize that you are not defined by one relationship as powerful as it is. The world is larger than one person. Know that no one gets out of what we experienced unscathed as we work personally to gain our strength back. Don't forget to cry. Sometimes that is a tool to aid in the release of pain. Be kind to yourself as you would a stranger knowing what they are going through. Go easy on your self. I wish you well.

@bluegrassgirl9430

5 жыл бұрын

@@bw6078 Thank you for your kind words BW. We're still in daily contact and he's planning a trip to a nearby town in late March, so of course I will see him. Honestly wish I could wake up tomorrow and he would be wiped from my memory. Sounds crazy I know.

@bw6078

5 жыл бұрын

@@bluegrassgirl9430 Hopefully you can see a purpose in the relationship and how it has changed you. It may aid you moving forward if you can realize a purpose in your life. Be strong in communicating your needs and be good to yourself as you would hope for anyone else. All the best

@bluegrassgirl9430

5 жыл бұрын

@@bw6078 Thank you BW for all your encouragement. So nice to talk to someone trustworthy who knows what it feels like. He's the most amazing man I've ever met. He brings out the best in me and makes me want to be a better human being. Right now walking away is just not an option. We plan on meeting in March.

Wow, your spot on and want to say with honor and respect, thanks you.🙏🏼

Just found out, confronted him, he deactivated his Facebook account, says he wants to talk, but how do I believe him?

So now the question is..how do I get over my wife of 18 years keeping in touch with and praising an ex lover of 10 months before he dumped her? Things go well for several days even few weeks and BANG! We are back to day one..We are closer than ever and she has remorse but the truth is..I see them together physically 18 years ago and in her mind she cant let go of him. Do i destroy what good we have left at 65 years old? But I can not get past it and its even affected our sex life to an extent! Any answers please..

Your dog is so sweet

I'm 45 and my ex husband cheated on me because our marriage was toxic for the last few years and he just divorced me but I'm glad because I feel free now but what pains me more is I started hooking up with a younger guy who's probably near 30. We was together for a few weeks and things was going so well until I found out he's married and has kids. Since november I haven't seen him and I broke it off and he's wondering why I haven't called him or text him. He's worse then my ex because his wife is a woman I knew along time ago and she's like my age.

Cute little dog!! 😉

Cute doggo. How to trust anyone! God!

My husband had an emotional affair with my envious cousin....so i told everyone in the family because they expected me to be a push over and tried to manipulate me to think it was OK! Needless to say she ran for the hills out of embarrassment and my husband has to be stuck with the "toxic" person. He gets to see my anxiety attacks, over drinking and mood swings which started happening during the emotional affair. Its still happening now like I have PTSD and can't seem to shake it off. He feels like he has been left by himself to take all the blame. We moved to have a clean slate but the residue of the betrayal is still there. He allowed her deceptive tactics to get into his head and began to look at me as the enemy. Our friendship is gone and the only thing that's keeping us here is love and assets. He hates my cousin and is mortified that she would just leave when things got exposed. He is upset at himself but his pride makes him take it out on me. When I tried to tell him what i have been going through he told me that he was not my therapist, so I told him that he didn't mind being my cousin therapist and that sent him in a rage. We are really trying and we are at ground zero at this point and don't know what to do. Of course divorce seems like a option to others but we can't fix our lips to even go there and its just us in the house together being miserable trying to pick up the pieces.

@DAZZLEDATTAROT

2 жыл бұрын

Update after having a come to Jesus moment and therapy we decided to forgive and let the anger and hurt go...I finally got my best friend back

@jcalvargas

Жыл бұрын

@@DAZZLEDATTAROT can I ask what steps did you take? I am really struggling with a similar situation.

@darrellborland119

5 ай бұрын

@@DAZZLEDATTAROT That story so, reminds me of "Fireproof", from 08...my takeaway was guys: Study your wife"...and it works. lol. the problems for lifetime marriage comes around that 5-7 year time. Many folks take one another for granted...so...hope my post is useful. Thanks.

@DAZZLEDATTAROT

5 ай бұрын

@jcalvargas I have to be honest. The therapy helped a little, but we did most of the work. We had to realize that when we argued, it wasn't even about my cousin anymore. When I wanted to kick him out and he wanted to leave. We both found ourselves on the front porch crying because we couldn't go through with it, so we both grabbed his stuff off the porch and went back into the house. We lost the ability to communicate, so what we had to do was stop talking about that situation for a while, and I know it sounds dismissive, but it helped. We started having different conversations, and eventually, we started laughing with each other and actually liking each other. We began dating each other all over again, and it got better. The subject came up again, and this time, he apologized, and we were able to have a conversation. I considered my cousin as a Trojan horse who actually exposed what the real problem was in my marriage....I forgave her as well, but she won't ever get the chance to do that again! Boundaries are always a must!! Unless you want to end up facing life in jail!!🤣

@DAZZLEDATTAROT

5 ай бұрын

@@darrellborland119 it was helpful!!! Being married takes work!!

Emotional affair are the worst

I like the little dog very much.

Our Black Pom ..is also named Meeka ..she is 12...just luv the breed our 3rd one ❤ yours is adorable ❤

@SusanWinter

5 жыл бұрын

I think your puppy sounds adorable. Nikka and Meeka! Salt and pepper.

@bosco5469

5 жыл бұрын

@@SusanWinter Nikka..thought you said. Meeka..ok..yesss salt and pepper ...i appreciate all you do ❤

But what about a spouse who shares his provocative comments, texting and sexting comments, compliments towards other women and sees nothing wrong because he is so affectionate and attentive toward me??

Emotional affairs almost always lead to a physical relationship and can be just as damaging even if it doesn’t

What are the steps to heal from an emotional affair?

Oh horrors, not a PHYSICAL relationship!!!! Americans are so advanced in technology, and so primitive in emotions and morality

You mentioned that some people can have a physical relationship with no emotional connection but that an emotional relationship is on the precipice of becoming physical. I’ve never thought of things that way. Thought provoking video but aren’t yours always?

@SusanWinter

5 жыл бұрын

Thank you Anne

Susan Winter could u please make a video on exes. I'm scared to run into my ex, we dont talk to each other and he was quite cruel during the break up. when i walk passed him should i ignore his presence, change the way ? like how should i act..

@SusanWinter

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you for your comment! Please take a look at my playlists. I believe I have a video about dealing with seeing exes. If not, make sure you have the notification bell on so you are alerted of my future poll on the Community page or IG @susanewinter

I forgave a emotional affair it’s honestly the most painful thing I’ve experienced I saw every piece of their communication and although hard to see it made me question myself my own reality my 17 year realationship felt like a lie but I thought I was responsible for him doing it because all he did was moan about me to her I had no idea he felt this way to me our life was good ,and now I have regrets I truly have forgave but my partner believes I hate him and staying with him to punish him I almost feel like I’m hated because I ended what he really wanted it’s heartbreaking and exhausting our split would fracture the fabric of our whole life and family dynamics and I want us to work but cannot see any light for us 😢when I try to leave I get called cruel for forgiving and then wanting to leave when he says I hate him my very spirit does not know what to do 😢

I have a question. Does it make it any better if the emotional affair is online only, for example, if they lived in different parts of the country? The argument I am getting is that because it they will never meet than it is ok. Thank you

@chriswhitenton691

4 жыл бұрын

Raven Mead hahahaha what

@emokiriemiabednegoabed2844

4 жыл бұрын

Smartness is mandatory in a relationship and cyberhackinggenius helped cloned my spouse device and I got access to all his dealings both on phone and social media without touching his devices. All I did was share my husband’s phone number with cyberhackinggenius and I was able to read both his new and deleted messages from a cloned device without having to touch his phone. I read all his Whatsapp, Facebook,Instagram and Snapchat messages Including the deleted text messages and iMessages. You can contact him via Gmail (cyberhackinggenius) or text and speak to him directly on his phone and WhatsApp : +19256795146 and don’t forget to thank me later

Ms Susan; I get it the consequences and impulse of ones actions with long term effects. If it DOESN'T works out?? In today reality the fear of sexual harassment suit against oneself is huge, felony time? The way of the world hope not?

Donot know if wife & I ever shared, (connected). After 31 yrs marriage.

Yup.

2 of my exes that have current girlfriends try to talk to me and I often don’t respond if I have ive gave one word responses. They both cheated on me while with them and seem to want me in their future. Like you’re WITH someone now what do you think I think of you doing that? You’re advertising yourself as not being a good partner. Its like they’re in some dream but don’t realize what they’re doing. Its so weird. Nooo thank you

The thing is these types of affairs you didn’t mean for it to become physical it just evolved very slowly over time. And your right it is then a mess the dreaded triangle.

Must be nice to have a spouse to connect with, perhaps time to move on ?

Aww, Nika is beautiful! I love dogs! Paths of life were going to be hard! So god send us DOGS

@SusanWinter

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much! Yes, Nikka is a godsend.

My gf was depressed once, she wouldn't talk to me about it at school or anywhere, then one time at school she left and went into the library with once of our friends and she came out without me knowing. She was happy and all. Once me and my mate were walking to school and My friends and gf were going towards us then my gf totally ignored me and straight to him, stuff like this always happen and I'm still in this relationship, maybe I should cheat to see if she cares or not.

@jxvi166

4 жыл бұрын

Can u give me advise Susan I'm really stuck and I'm 15 it sucks I feel like I'm not important to her

After two years of me trying so hard I am a smart person and have a good career etc I am just not that good a picking men obviously 🙄

I have just recently been "emotionally cheated" on by my girlfriend and I do not know whether to give her a second chance to prove herself to me in order to gain my trust and loyalty. I caught her having secretive conversations with 2 other men on Facebook and she had no intentions of telling me. I had to catch her. I really do love her and want it to work but I just don't know if it is a good decision to give her the chance or just run...PLEASE HELP. Ps. she wants to give me full access to her Facebook and phone call and messages full time. She claims that she is fully committed to gaining my trust and love back. Thoughts? Please.

@jnom6365

4 жыл бұрын

Carlos, she’s a girlfriend and she’s already done this. Move on, sir. Trust me, one day she will do it again. It would be really bad if that was a decade later and you were married with kids.

@sukiosartchannel3689

Жыл бұрын

Been there with my ex, he also gave me full access to everything until he cheated so he had to become secretive again. The pattern continued for a while until I ended the relationship for good. They will never change.

💪😉👍EXCELLENT!

@emokiriemiabednegoabed2844

4 жыл бұрын

Smartness is mandatory in a relationship and cyberhackinggenius helped cloned my spouse device and I got access to all his dealings both on phone and social media without touching his devices. All I did was share my husband’s phone number with cyberhackinggenius and I was able to read both his new and deleted messages from a cloned device without having to touch his phone. I read all his Whatsapp, Facebook,Instagram and Snapchat messages Including the deleted text messages and iMessages. You can contact him via Gmail (cyberhackinggenius) or text and speak to him directly on his phone and WhatsApp : +19256795146 and don’t forget to thank me later

It really hurts to be part of emotional affair. Don't do it. Most go back to married partner.

Hi Susan, don't know if you would still respond as the video is a year old already, our marriage of 25 years has been slowlly breaking dew to alot of reasons, I have recently met someone on line, never met her physical but seen her on photos aswell as phone calls, it was three weeks of emotional Rollercoaster as I was trying to deal with seperation arrangements between me and the wife this was decided on before I met this person as a trial separation while we go to counciling , she ended the relationship as she was also going throught a divorce but also being the mature one of us two I have come clean with the wife now, she blames herself and I assured her she not to blame, it just happened between us drifting apart over the years, My issue is how do I get over this person who I have never met before, I kniw where she stays but don't want to cause problems for her I just need to get over her and it's so difficult especially when I am moving out Please help

Cute dog. 😍

How do you know if you are the one having an emotional affair when you husband emotionally sorry I should say absence of emotion 22 out of your 25 years marriage no matter what I ask or beg you will not get help I give him an ultimatum he had two years to get help or I'm asking for divorce I've had my best friend that's in the service we've been talking a lot the last 10 years I don't know if I see myself physically involved with him but my mom says I'm having an emotional affair is it still an emotional affair if your partner has checked out

@bluegrassgirl9430

5 жыл бұрын

My husband and I are more like brother and sister. Sexless marriage for over 12 years. I think everyone deserves and needs an emotional partner. I say if he makes you happy, then go for it. Life is too short!

@annclark2445

5 жыл бұрын

@@bluegrassgirl9430 that you

@LOSTINFICTIONENGLAND

5 жыл бұрын

@michael jordan I was about to ask the same thing! It's not always possible to divorce, though ...

@LOSTINFICTIONENGLAND

5 жыл бұрын

@michael jordan I know many women who are unable to divorce for financial reasons (like, they don't have a job and the husband earns too little to be able to support them in a different accomodation etc). One has an emotional affair with a common friend who's not even attractive (I've never seen him that way, at least) but very smart. They mostly talk about common interests and go to classical concerts together (her husband hates classical music). This friend of mine married in her 20s because she got pregnant, not having much in common with this guy. This guy isn't a bad person at all, but he married her out of a sense of duty, not because he cared (they almost have nothing in common). I honeslty don't see how having a connection with our common friend can be so bad, it's the only thing that keeps her going and can still put a smile on her face.

Can an emotional affair not always involve talking about emotions. My does not like talking about her emotions but she has a male friend at work I feel she has gotten real close with. I believe they might have developed into a emotional affair. I have been going through some major depression and they gotten closer. My gut keeps telling me there is something more than just friendship.

@emokiriemiabednegoabed2844

4 жыл бұрын

Smartness is mandatory in a relationship and cyberhackinggenius helped cloned my spouse device and I got access to all his dealings both on phone and social media without touching his devices. All I did was share my husband’s phone number with cyberhackinggenius and I was able to read both his new and deleted messages from a cloned device without having to touch his phone. I read all his Whatsapp, Facebook,Instagram and Snapchat messages Including the deleted text messages and iMessages. You can contact him via Gmail (cyberhackinggenius) or text and speak to him directly on his phone and WhatsApp : +19256795146 and don’t forget to thank me later

Hmmmm😟 my spouse was having an emotional affair with his Supervisor brought his Supervisor and HER husband to our house for a BBQ which unknowing entertaining HIS boss who he is cheating on me on. As time went on I happen to ask hom IF he was interested in someone else. He told me that it wasn't true and that I was CRAZY for assuming that to ONLY find out 2 weeks after I confronted him the truth can out about his emotional affair with his boss. He STILL won't own up to it he acts as IF it was just a ploy to get my attention. But how much attention does a person need when I DON'T go out, I DON'T hang with friends anymore, When I do go out its so far a few in between that I can't recall going anywhere except home and work and attend to any of my kids school events. I do admit though that I've NEVER cheated on my husband we did separate like 2 yrs ago because of the constant arguing and then some to then the affair he had that he doesn't want to recognize when I call him out on it however during the time we separated I DID sleep with another man while we were NOT together. When we did reconcile I DID tell my husband in which he feels that because we where STILL married during our divorce that I cheated so when I said well if that is the case then you cheated from the beginning with your supervisor he told me that wasn't cheating because he didn't sleep with her are you freaking kidding me. Why do men feel like that isn't cheating when it is cheating

@emokiriemiabednegoabed2844

4 жыл бұрын

Smartness is mandatory in a relationship and cyberhackinggenius helped cloned my spouse device and I got access to all his dealings both on phone and social media without touching his devices. All I did was share my husband’s phone number with cyberhackinggenius and I was able to read both his new and deleted messages from a cloned device without having to touch his phone. I read all his Whatsapp, Facebook,Instagram and Snapchat messages Including the deleted text messages and iMessages. You can contact him via Gmail (cyberhackinggenius) or text and speak to him directly on his phone and WhatsApp : +19256795146 and don’t forget to thank me later

@lonniewhite4262

Жыл бұрын

He is wrong for having the emotional affair but does he a point. Having sex with someone is taking it to another Level. Yall were separated not divorced so.... you kind went there too.

This is a tough one: I'm a 43 year old male and my best friend is a 28 year old married female. But there's no chance we would ever "do" anything -- the sexual vibe just isn't there. Plus I couldn't cheat with any married woman -- no way -- that's got "disaster" written all over it. We were friends before she met her husband and we're also both into energetic healing and intuitive counseling of each other -- something that is not very common. Her husband thinks we have a romantic past though, and apparently, when we hang out, he believes she may be cheating on him. I kind of get the concern, but if she wanted to be with me she obviously wouldn't have married HIM.

@SusanWinter

5 жыл бұрын

It's true that real friendships can be had where both individuals are in 'right order.' Your rule of not being with a married woman is what sets you apart from others.

@terrylaguardia6838

4 жыл бұрын

What you describe need not be an emotional affair. Love exists in so many forms we humans have yet to learn. Our repertoire of what we believe we should and should not allow is so small compared to what is.

@cloverbird5785

4 жыл бұрын

You need Jesus

@lars1296

3 жыл бұрын

Not necessarily. Most people marry the wrong person due to our developed attachment styles. The husband has every right to be concerned. Why would she need a male best friend when she has her husband?

@DAZZLEDATTAROT

2 жыл бұрын

But the fact that you know he does not like it and you are keeping the friendship going shows that you and his wife don't value the marriage....you should stop talking to her

Could you comment (probably again...) about men who are super attractive to a woman and early on actually disclose they are already in a “committed” relationship,, but who continue to pursue you.

No affair can ever lead to true happiness. That aren’t doing it for happiness. They may do it for convenience or connection or to create a break. But it never leads to true happiness. It’s bad mojo.

@stellajameson1400

5 жыл бұрын

This is not always true. I know many people who have left marriages and went on and married their affair partner and are very happy. Not all but some.

@JamieAug

4 жыл бұрын

@@stellajameson1400 Yeah, I know of some people whom had an affair and married their affair partner later on and were happy with that person. Circumstances differ and sometimes people fall out of love and drift apart. Life is complex like that. There's always that risk that someone might not feel the same way about you for whatever reason. It sucks though.

@MySweetAriane

4 жыл бұрын

This is not true. People are in unhealthy relationships and meet someone who they have a strong connection with. Its almost like they are soul mates. They might even be better for each other. They become closer and have an emotional affair. Then they realize they were meant for each other and leave their spouses. And have a healthy happy relationship. Society tells you to honor your marriage and omg its wrong to like someone else when you are married. Yes of course it is but depending on the marriage than it shouldn't be wrong.

@MySweetAriane

4 жыл бұрын

@@JamieAug Exactly

@MySweetAriane

4 жыл бұрын

@@stellajameson1400 spot on

DROPPED IN ON WRONG VIDEO. BUT. Aha 🌈🦋🐬🙊 NO I WOULDNT RECOMMEND IT TO ANYONE! CUZ ITS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME. THAT THE EMOTIONAL AFFAIR ALSO WILL GET TO A PHYSICAL ONE! IVE HAD A FEW FRIENDS IN THE PAST. GO. THROUGH THAT! I would slowly walk away. ID NEVER WISH THAT ON ANYONE!! 🦉🦋 👣💕