The Hobbit YTP: An Unexpected Catastrophe
Комедия
THE HOBBIT KZread POOP
Thorin really, really likes to insult Bilbo in his own home and most dwarves are named Kili. Bilbo ends up having the most unusual party in all of the Shire has seen for many years.
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Intro/Outro Song - Two Steps From Hell - Power Of Darkness
• Two Steps From Hell - ...
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Oh damn, I somehow missed the "YTP" in the title and thought this was a video essay about why the hobbit movies were really bad (as in, a catastrophe). Man was I confused for the first one and a half minutes of this, before I checked the title again! I watched it anyway, and had a great time, even though it wasn't what I had expected :)
@narcleptik
4 жыл бұрын
The movies were amazing except near the end of the series
@DustGamezX
4 жыл бұрын
You could say you went in for an "unexpected" journey....hah....hah....
@tiaaaron3278
4 жыл бұрын
@@narcleptik The Dwarves were made so dumb in Hobbit trilogy.
@_Sylvain_
4 жыл бұрын
Sit doooown!
@tiaaaron3278
4 жыл бұрын
@Rather Chilling Gimli was a buffoon in books. He actually got into a fight with Éomer because Éomer wouldn't declare Galadriel the fairest of all. Gimli nearly sabotaged their mission in Edoras by nearly killing Gríma just because the Wormtongue called Gaaldriel a sorceress. At some point, Gimli complains about being useless, which means he did jackshit in Amon Hen. After Gandalf's fall, Gimli wanted to see Durin's Stone, not caring at all the orcs ar won their trials and the Fellowship needed to run away. There are countless examples of Gimli making a fool of himself in books. Also his friendship with Legolas sucks. His obsession with Galadriel is creepy. Overall, he's super unlikable. In fact, Jackson's version of Gimli was a much needed improvement. Gimli doesn't hinder the mission in Moria, he kicks ass, he helped Aragorn in Amon Hen, he saved Aragorn in Helm's Deep, he has a personality, his love for Galadriel is pure and adorable and not creepy, his friendship with Legolas is genuine and real. Keep in mind Gimli's screentime is probably half the screentime of Hobbit dwarves. And what are the dwarves in Hobbit? Thirteen interchangeable fools? Jackson literally had a three-hour-long prologue to the story in order to flesh out these bunch and all of it is wasted on bullshit. Twenty mintues in Bag-End were wasted to show how rude and nasty they are. Ten minutes were wasted in Rivendell to show how rude and nasty the dwarves are. Thirty minutes wasted on terrible comic relief and we still have zero understanding of these guys as individuals. If that's not an insult to dwarves, I don't know what is. It's Hobbit dwarves that are used for cheap storytelling including bad comic relief. What the hell is the dwarfish pride?! Terrible table manners? Excessive eating habits? Zero self-awareness? Kíli's shitty romance? Underdeveloped characters? Thorin's terrible whining? Excessive greed and no redemptive quality? Awful action scenes? Inconsistent power feats? Half-dimensional personalities? Thorin's repetitive whining and garbage angst isn't pride. It's bad writing. Thorin is a terrible character. His arc is unclear, his redemption is ruined and he never earned the praise he's given. Also he's a terrible commander. He splits company in Ravenhill, the enemy's lair. He fights Azog like a dumbass. It was in the books where he had a proper, beautiful end. The movies completely ruined it. Then there is freaking Fíli and Kíli. The audience forgot those two were supposed to be Thorin's nephew. There was no moment of genuine affection between the three of them. All those memes about Fíli being forgotten are legit as hell. The only half-decent dwarf characters in The Hobbit trilogy were Balin and James Nesbitt.
I'M TRYING TO ROB YOU!
@barbaro267
8 жыл бұрын
+Prince of Epirus **chucks a grenade into the house**
@dr.bright6272
5 жыл бұрын
@@barbaro267 good luck robbing him when all his shits blown up eh?
I lost it when Gandalf peeks through the window saying "I'm trying to rob you!"
@Ian1329
9 ай бұрын
I want to C Thorin scream DRAGONN! at Bilbo's party
"Do we know each other?" *DWALIN*
@truesoulghost2777
2 жыл бұрын
He traveled north to a meeting of DWALIN.
@dr.bright6272
2 жыл бұрын
I guess they know each other
THAT'LL BE THE DOOR
@NH-nv4tj
8 жыл бұрын
THE DOOR.
@TheFiercestCreatureInTheWorld
8 жыл бұрын
+criggle190 THE DOOR.
@NH-nv4tj
8 жыл бұрын
WildKatGirl Miaow THAT'LL BE THE DWALIN.
@hauxiii3320
8 жыл бұрын
+criggle190 then the censored xD
@kriseriksen7706
8 жыл бұрын
HODOR.
"we appear to be one KILI short." "he is late is all, he traveled north to a meeting of DWALIN."
@thepurplecrabapocalypse8953
3 жыл бұрын
I loved that!
"I'm afraid... burger... got any chips?" ahahah
@polari5207
8 жыл бұрын
sit down
@laureline4774
3 жыл бұрын
I bust out laughing EVERY TIME at that part.
''Shit he's here.... Gandalf, NOPE you can't come in you've come to the wrong house, (Door Closes)... I am betrayed!!'' completely lost it
@tiaaaron3278
4 жыл бұрын
"I am betrayed!" Thorin in every movie
@dovdorith8148
3 жыл бұрын
XDDD me too
@coldasifneveraskedthemoon7401
4 ай бұрын
That was so good😂😂❤️
5:17 I completely lost it at 'Mr Faggins' XD Brilliant!
@rehow9981
10 ай бұрын
He looks more like burger
@michael-aarongenisys
3 ай бұрын
"Tell me Mr. Faggins 😂😂
The screaming "BILBO" and "BAGGINS" omg this was on point 10/10
@MX.Unicorn1999
4 жыл бұрын
rx that should of been in the movie
"He said he's an experet! hehey!!!"
@Cryscorde
6 жыл бұрын
Supermovies "No, no. I've never stolen a thing in my life." "He said he's an expert! Hehey!"
@Yujin27Gameplay
6 жыл бұрын
"Ay the wild is no place for gentlefolk who can neither fight nor fook themselves" "HE SAYS HE'S AN EXPERT!" "hehey!"
@dr.bright6272
5 жыл бұрын
What good is an expert when there's no way into the mountain?
@pornhub1598
5 жыл бұрын
@@dr.bright6272 there is no fucking way into the mountain
@dr.bright6272
5 жыл бұрын
@@pornhub1598 I agree
8:38 "You'll have a tale or two to tell to two two your own tale tell tale to tale to two two tell your own tale or tale or to tell your own BILBOOOO!" "Can you promise that I will come back?" "hahahha...NOH!"
@Maesterful
5 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much
@Bloodletter8
5 жыл бұрын
"That's what I thought."
5:29 They all just suddenly start roasting Bilbo My sides have been obliterated
@nolovedivision3882
5 жыл бұрын
Joseph Lim he looks more like a *BURGUH*
Gandalf at the windows is scary as fuck ! "Bilbo..." "BILBO!!!" "I'm Gandalf." "I'm trying to rob you!" Somewhere in a ytp with Gandalf looking through the windows there needs to be a "Good morning!"
@SuperSlashLesPaul
7 жыл бұрын
You can find it in the YTP "an incomprehensible journey"
@loulishadow1468
7 жыл бұрын
was that red wine that horrible ?
7:36 "Think furnace with holes" That should really of been: "Think furnace with... cheese knife!"
@dr.bright6272
3 жыл бұрын
@@eifersuchtt this is Cheese Knife, a kickass blade foraged by Elvis
@FatherKapnos
Жыл бұрын
@@dr.bright6272 i prefer the "Ham cleaver"
2:00 Can you imagine two dwarfs just walking in his house and start banging right in front of bilbo 😂😂
@GRasputin91
Жыл бұрын
I'm sorry to interrupt..
@ravenpapa27
5 ай бұрын
@@GRasputin91 I'm not entirely sure you're in the right house
@fahrenheit2101
2 ай бұрын
"You're shorter and wider than last we met"
@creepycasta9430
17 күн бұрын
Oh damn dude, don’t remind me of the extremest of gay chicken duels ever to be had. The noices. The almost constant strained sounds of “no homo” Never seen a dwarf mini man handle a bloke thrice his own size. Have something much better now, dwarf fucking in ASMR format. Fuck a cursed sentence
3:01 "Mr. Gandalf!" "Hmmm?" "A little glass of red wine?" *"NO!!!"*
@narcleptik
4 жыл бұрын
MR GANDALF
Can't tell which is better. This one or an incomprehensible journey.
@mydarkterrors
8 жыл бұрын
without doubt, both are just brilliant :D
@The_Chosen_Heretic
7 жыл бұрын
I'm in love with both.
@Frserthegreenengine
7 жыл бұрын
I find An Incomprehensible Journey funnier, but this is still brilliant.
@fullanalysis93
7 жыл бұрын
WhisperedFlame Incomprehensible Journey is way funnier, but this one has some good parts
@RawkHawkRockin
6 жыл бұрын
Incomprehensible journey has some great parts, but it contains too much looping for my tastes. This one is more consistent in my opinion.
There is NO WAY into the Mountain!
@Szibenwaro
8 жыл бұрын
+Peter Walker There is no FUCKING way into the Mountain!
@JClayton1994
8 жыл бұрын
CHEESE KNIFE
@Billy-gq1yf
8 жыл бұрын
+JClayton 1994 good mourning
@FreedomPuppy
8 жыл бұрын
+JClayton 1994 That'll be the door.
@Billy-gq1yf
8 жыл бұрын
+JClayton 1994 What is that sad song called, your the only channel i've seen use it
HE SAID HE'S AN EXPERT!!! HEHAY!!!
@polari5207
8 жыл бұрын
now the key is mine now hahahahaja
@dr.bright6272
5 жыл бұрын
What good is an expert when there's no way into the mountain?
@marcogypaetus9607
2 жыл бұрын
@@dr.bright6272 That, my dear Balin, is not entirely true.
@dr.bright6272
2 жыл бұрын
@@marcogypaetus9607 there's no way into the mountain.
@marcogypaetus9607
2 жыл бұрын
@@dr.bright6272 That is not true
Good morning. Good morning. Good morniiiiiiing.
@spootot
8 жыл бұрын
I'm Gandalf :D
@Metal-Man-2000
8 жыл бұрын
+Taurus Bear Good morning
@LoathingEditor
8 жыл бұрын
+Joe Ball BILBO BAGGINS!!!!!!
@ZeDerpADerp
8 жыл бұрын
+Loathing Editor I'm trying to rob you!
@LoathingEditor
8 жыл бұрын
+ZeDerpinator Oh.
"He was so large he could fart" *died*
@joshuaharney1181
3 жыл бұрын
Well he could
@rehow9981
10 ай бұрын
@@joshuaharney1181 I do believe you made that up
There's always a censored gay bit hahahahahaha
@allaltitudeproductions454
5 жыл бұрын
as soon as i saw "censored" i just like immediately clicked until it was gone . . . and then went back to listen to it and i regret it so much now
@rassest
4 жыл бұрын
THEY just had do didint they
@reallyannoyingguy6625
4 жыл бұрын
Not Only Gay, But Alabama, They Are Brothers, You Know
@ethanii7544
4 жыл бұрын
_oh now fill it up brother_
@noalina8501
3 жыл бұрын
Haha😂
“I’m afraid!” “Burger.” “Got any chips?” **intense farting** *_7:20_*
@Veyron722skyhook
2 жыл бұрын
"Sit down!"
Excuse me, that is a doilie, not a DOILIE. But it's full of holes! It's supposed to look like that, is crochet. But it's full of holes! It's supposed to look like that that, it's crochet. But it's full of holes! It's supposed to look like that. Holes! Crochet. Holes! Crochet! Holes! Crrrocheeet. A widawonawidawonawidawonawidawona Holes!
@John190assman
8 жыл бұрын
+criggle190 *anger infestivities*
@John190assman
8 жыл бұрын
***** Feel allright just let me shit quietly for a moment.
@mrzubwolfer
7 жыл бұрын
(THX theme!)
@TheFiercestCreatureInTheWorld
7 жыл бұрын
+John190 the homicidal maniac You've been shitting quietly for far too long!
1:01 "I'm trying to rob you"
*Closes door on Thorin* "I am betrayed!"
when gandalf swears it's sound so natural. could you get us some more fucking light. Thorin cuntshield
@Rodan727
7 жыл бұрын
littletubs dwalin
Shit. He's here.
@Lyphian92
8 жыл бұрын
+Tj Smith Good, I thought he will never cum
@dr.bright6272
5 жыл бұрын
Now Gandalf won't be able to keep the key he stole.
@truesoulghost2777
2 жыл бұрын
@Bilal Khalid lol
"i'm gandalf!" "i'm trying to rob you!" of course i'll let you in! :D
@aztec-gold8904
8 жыл бұрын
And the crochet arguement had me in tears xDD
"Aye, the wild is no place for gentle folk who can neither fight nor fook themselves."
"Bilbo BAGGINS allow me to introduce the leader of our company: Thorin cuntshield" I totally lost it😂😂😂😂
This was a sick vid man the censored part made me lmao
@RZIisRaw
8 жыл бұрын
Its not a JClayton1994 KZread Poop without censored fucking going on xD
The censored part hahahahahah xD
@chaing-kai-shek2862
8 жыл бұрын
+Rock Crusader ikr
@ohdamn4583
8 жыл бұрын
Mahaw haaaa OH OH OH OH THAT'L BE THE DOOR
@wasiegwebu3371
8 жыл бұрын
+Heather King LOL :D
@Macintoshman9
8 жыл бұрын
OH OH OH
@yourmom-yv2xk
7 жыл бұрын
Dyson Thornwalker OH
BILBO BAGGINS!
man, you're simply EXPERT
@JClayton1994
8 жыл бұрын
He said I'm an EXPERT! HeHeeee!
@dr.bright6272
5 жыл бұрын
@@JClayton1994 got any chips?
@nolovedivision3882
5 жыл бұрын
JClayton 1994 sHiT he is here
"That'll be the door" "at your sus-eh" " di-dee, di-dee" and many more classic line from this drug fueled hallucination...
*closes door* "I'V BEEN BETRAYED"
"We appear to be one Kili short" "Oh they're quite a Kili gathering, once you get used to them"
It was never explained, what were they doing in Bilbo's kitchen?
@JClayton1994
8 жыл бұрын
+kingokane Having fun.
@Maesterful
5 жыл бұрын
Destroying the plumbing
@samhamsord7942
3 жыл бұрын
2:00
@dr.bright6272
3 жыл бұрын
Tracking mud, pillaging, all but destroying the plumbing and more
@marcogypaetus9607
2 жыл бұрын
Blunting knives, bending forks, smashing bottles and burning corks, chipping glasses and cracking plates.
4:56 Thorin: Gandalf. Bilbo: Nope! You can't come in. You've come to the wrong house! (Shuts door) Thorin: I've been betrayed!
@ChaseMC215
3 жыл бұрын
Bilbo is quite a dick
HE SAID HE'S AN EXPERT! HEYHE!
*Creeper appears at the door* ''Nope, you can't come in. You've got the wrong house.'' *Shuts door in Creepers face* *Sad piano plays*
@JClayton1994
8 жыл бұрын
+Isla Hansen I did have a very similar idea in mind when editing this xD
@Isla-er1yu
8 жыл бұрын
Oh cool XD
"That is a doily, not a doily!" "But it's full of holes!" "It's supposed to look like that, it's crochet" "But it's full of holes!" "It's supposed to look like that, it's crochet" "But it's full of holes!" "Crochet" "Holes" "Crochet" "Holes" "Crochet" "Holes"
@fiends8908
3 жыл бұрын
Oh, and a wonderfulafinnawonderfulafinnawonderful game it is too! If you've got the HOLES! *ANGER INTENSIFIES*
@Tftmt
2 жыл бұрын
A copy of the book "Holes" should have showed up at some point
”Mr Gandalf, a little glass of red wine? ”NOOOO”
The belching scene had me in tears. Good job man.
The ability to fart does not depend on one's largeness, Gandalf 🙄
The status of the kitchen seems to be Bilbo's main concern in the first 4 minutes
“I’m trying to rob you” 😭😭😂😂
"do we know each other?" "dwalin"
@dr.bright6272
3 жыл бұрын
Shortest way of saying yes if I've ever heard one
"You've been sh*tting quietly for far too long" 😂😂 excellent work this was Hillarious!
"BILBO!!! My dear fellow, let us have a little more FUCKING light!" 05:55
8:14 The famous JClayton sad scene
Gotta love the beginning where bilbo’s so high off that pipe that he’s up in the stratosphere, and he just looks straight through Gandalf and walks away
@bofurthedwarf
Жыл бұрын
Who cares if one more light
It’s the “I am betrayed” that got me 😂😂😂😂
"So, this is the Hobbit" Thorin breaks the fourth wall, LIKE A F*CK*NG BOSS!
@michael-aarongenisys
3 ай бұрын
That's right, bruh 😎
Its a good Poop if my stomach hurts every 5 seconds
@Bloodletter8
5 жыл бұрын
What I like about your comment is that you could be talking about KZread Poop or actually taking a shit and it's accurate wither way.
@drip9210
5 жыл бұрын
@@Bloodletter8 what the fuck tho lmao
legend says he is still running after the horses shouting "WAIT!"
“I’m Gandalf! I’m trying to rob you”
''Did you know that your great great great great great great great great great uncle was so large, he could fart?'' ''yes...'' ''Well he could!'' ''I do believe you've made that up...'' haha
The light of Durin's day shines on the entrance: *"that'll be the door"* Frodo, Sam, and Gollum arive at the Black gate: *"that'll be the door"* Gandalf gets the door to Moria open: *"that'll be the door"* The Orcs batter into Minas Tirith: *"that'll be the door"* The troll breaks into Balin's tomb: *"that'll be the door"*
@dr.bright6272
2 жыл бұрын
Looks like they found the door. It's a way into the mountain
@ChaseMC215
Жыл бұрын
@@dr.bright6272 There is no fucking way into the mountain
@dr.bright6272
Жыл бұрын
@@ChaseMC215 that is not entirely true
0:51 i lost it LOLOL!
@user-uo3nh8ro8n
4 жыл бұрын
Omg sameee
I always find myself coming back to this one. And one of my verbal tics which has developed is from this, randomly saying "Dwalin" and calling random things "Kili"
5:00 I've been betrayed....
Bilbo! I'm trying to rob you 😂😂😂 this is brilliant your so good at this 👌
I can tell you had fun making this. I had fun watching this. Mostly. Vast majority.
2:07 best scene
I got my results from the doctor just now I'm a Bag In Box.
"Gandalf-" "nope! You can't come in, you've come to the wrong house" "....... I am betrayed!"
I love how Ori stands up and Dori just looks at Nori like, "who on earth taught him to talk like that???"
"I am trying to rob you" *throws grenade* Alright that's it, subscribed.
"Holes?" "Crochet." "Holes?" "Cro-chet." "Holes?" "Cr-o-chet." "Cheese knife?"
This is the best Hobbit one I've seen!
6:37 I took it, it’s mine 😂😂😂
Oh YESSS here we go! I've been waiting! Thanks!
6:22 I cant take it any more, I'm fuckin cryin over here
When I see a j Clayton upload: 4:50
@erenyeager3829
3 жыл бұрын
Me also lmao
The creeper at then end tho😂
You'll have a tale or two to tell to a tailor or two too.
Omg this is exactly what I needed right now xD thank you! This is amazing!
Been missing you and your poops Jason Thank you!
"That'll be the door." i lost it XD
2:39 XD So cute but hilarious!
0:30 my introverted ass when someone tries to talk to me
@informedconsumer5293
3 жыл бұрын
Forcibly anyway
You have the best YTPs on KZread. Keep up the good work!
I was just waiting for that "BILBO BAGGINNSSSSS" XD
THIS IS AMAZINGLY FANTASTIC!! I JUST LOVE YOUR WORK. PLEASE KEEP GOING!
Hilarious as always, mate!
Dori just repeating mr.Gandalf in the chaos.. somehow so funny
I can imagine a house full of Kilis and Dwalin running the Kili only meeting
The beginning is basically any introvert being approached
@erenyeager3829
3 жыл бұрын
Me in a nutshell
5:17 Broke the fourth wall didn’t ya Thorin lol 😂
I always get a crack at Kilis face when thorin knocks on the door. He looks like he chewed his tongue by accident bc he was laughing too hard
Please keep making more you are a comedic genius :')
The legends tell he’s still yelling “WAIT!”
5 years later and it's still a masterpiece lmao
2:43 "Up yours Cersei
'But it's full of holes!'
"Think furnace with holes" *faints*
Your youtube poops are masterpieces, i love every one of ur videos, they make me laugh so hard, keep doin wat ur doin, cus they are hilarious
@JClayton1994
8 жыл бұрын
Thank you :)