This is what I used to do until I got to my mid 30s. Take on everyone else’s pain and problems. Now I avoid people because I’m not good at setting boundaries, so I just keep myself to myself because I’m not good at saying no.

@juliaorpheus

6 ай бұрын

I can definitely relate. Over the years I've gotten much better at boundary setting but even to this day, if I'm tired and I don't have the energy to enforce my boundaries I hang out by myself. IMO it's worth it to do the work of learning how to be assertive bc people human relationships are so important but boundaries don't come naturally to me. It's worth it, but I have to deal with people in moderation.

@fridge3489

6 ай бұрын

Well that does sound like progress at least 👍

@beckymm1989

6 ай бұрын

Awww, sounds like you have a lot to offer. Wish you would reconsider and start boundary setting. We teach people how to treat us. 👍🌟😇

@christyphillips9197

6 ай бұрын

So do I. To the point that I'm totally shutoff from everyone now. I live in isolation and it's so very peaceful

@user-su7hk3si2f

6 ай бұрын

I think it's one of the best solutions. Also important that this should really be seen as progress. Especially for people that had difficult childhood and childhood traumas it's crucial to learn to take care of ourselves. I like to watch the videos with Dr.Mate but sometimes it's so negative that I just get anxious that I'll get sick because I'm not quick enough with recovering. I'm now 32 and started to do real recovery with therapy 3 years ago. It's hard to find information about making progress and the importance of small doable steps. So thank you for sharing your journey and advice.

This hits the mark! I had to set a boundary recently, I’m not used to doing this) in order to protect my authentic self. I’ve finally let go of putting up with things I don’t want in my life. I almost felt guilty doing it but after a day I felt an immense sense of freedom at last! I’m 73!! About time!

@tricia222

6 ай бұрын

Well done, keep it up 😊

@yourinnerchildmatters

6 ай бұрын

💖

@yourinnerchildmatters

6 ай бұрын

It is, without a doubt, never too late to value your authentic self while setting boundaries. Your journey has inspired us all! 🙌🏼 Thank you for always sharing your experience with us, and I'm glad to hear you're feeling liberated. When it comes to self-discovery and growth, age is simply a number. Keep shining! 🌟😊

@maryannestevenson5993

5 ай бұрын

Lot's of older people are waking up and discovering their true selves ❤

@janettemckillop6054

4 ай бұрын

Good for you darling. It's hard but you did it. ❤

I need to pay more attention to my inner world and conditioned attitudes.

A warning for someone who wants to be loved by working hard for others. There will be predators who will take advantage of you. If you work in a corporation, this will be guaranteed to happen. Please be very careful. Take care of yourself.

@yourinnerchildmatters

5 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for taking the time watching the video and for sharing your insights! ✨💖🙏

@watcherworld5873

5 ай бұрын

@@yourinnerchildmatters I greatly admire Dr. Gabor Mate. After working through some of his books, I have come to understand why I was always neglecting myself to gain the approval of people who really do not matter. Understanding myself helps me avoid being further victimized. However, it is up to me to deal with who I am. Blaming predators does no good to anyone, including myself.

It's very difficult to untwist the coping mechanisms of people pleasing to avoid any conflict or disappointment in others that keeps us stuck

@yourinnerchildmatters

6 ай бұрын

Thank you for taking the time to share your ideas and experiences. You are very correct; untangling the coping mechanisms of people-pleasing can be extremely difficult. It's a journey of self-discovery and personal development. Remember that it is acceptable to prioritize your personal well-being. You are not alone in your struggle, and your insights are valuable. 💖 #SelfCareMatters

@elizabethfindlay5752

6 ай бұрын

@@yourinnerchildmatters thank you

@chelsealee2677

6 ай бұрын

Women be careful don't have sex until you get your emotions together

“Because in this society we have to give up our authenticity to maintain our attachments “ wow “My mom was such in burden so I learned to suppress my pain , not to cry so much” That was me. So now I tears always come out when I express myself. I can’t help it That was me

Dr. Gabor Mate is so right. Such a person should be president with empathie and true nowledge and truth ❤

@yourinnerchildmatters

5 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for your kind words and for for taking the time watching the video! ❤️💖

This is the key to be really alive: to have true contact and true authenticity. Thnxxxx

@yourinnerchildmatters

7 ай бұрын

thank you so much for watching and sharing your thoughts

This man hits the nail everytime ❤

As a child having to deal with somethings unpleasant that happens to you and not being able to talk to anyone about it, so I had to to deal with it myself the best way I could. I wasn't heard

@yourinnerchildmatters

6 ай бұрын

I'm very sorry to hear you had such a bad childhood experience and that you didn't feel heard. It's never easy to tackle things on your own, but the way you keep going is very inspiring. Remember that you are not alone, and that there are people out there who care and are willing to listen to you including me. If you ever want to share or talk about it, please know that I'm here to help, as is a supportive community. Your voice matters. . 💕

I still have the occasional problem with conflict and people pleasing..but thankfully it is changing for better xx

@yourinnerchildmatters

2 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing your journey with us! It's inspiring to see how you're actively working on improving yourself. Keep up the good work!

"stop crying! stop crying! why are you crying?!" even as an adult in my own home i used to hear my dads voice shouting this from when i was a kid.

@yourinnerchildmatters

5 ай бұрын

❤️💖🙏

@suzanajerkovic7296

4 ай бұрын

I hear you..same with me...hide your tears..dad can t stand it❤

@oonapowell7874

4 ай бұрын

"Stop crying or I'll give you a good reason to cry." That's what we grew up with. Very stressed parents who couldn't cope very well.

@mansinirmaljain

4 ай бұрын

@@oonapowell7874 I'm so sorry for you. Just hearing those words out of context when i clicked on the notification, triggered me so much. More healing to do sigh

@robynhope219

7 күн бұрын

Or..."I'll give u something to cry about"

Wow. I am 75 born post war. This is so helpful

@yourinnerchildmatters

3 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for your kind words! I'm glad to hear that my video was helpful to you. If you have any other questions or topics you'd like me to cover, feel free to let me know!

Never done that...my emotional health was so precarious, i couldnt afford to neglect myself.

@yourinnerchildmatters

6 ай бұрын

✨💖

You’re a saving grace Heidi, truly 💛

The new home new relations and business success resonated well! Thank you queen!

Dr Mate, When you share your insights and the connections youve made I am aware of the pain and work were very hard won. No easy task this. Primal feelings the unfreezing of self were once horrific and terrifying I no longer consider myself as having breakdowns but breakthrough. Ego death.... light enters through the "cracks" I've learned. Pain also sets one free. Please keep some things for yourself. Somethings have shifted for you. Im glad. Your exhaustion was palpable. We know how to survive.,...now we are learning how to live. I protected my mother too. Not understanding how to grieve I threw a tantrum lasting several decades when my brother Mikey was killed in action in 1967 in Nam. I was attached to him deeply. Recently I had a PTSD event. Now when anxiety shows itself I understand this is where 14:13 14:13 14:13 14:13 I need recovery.. More is revealed. Recovery is HOPE. THANK YOU Dr. Mate.

Jesus Said..Love and Bless your enemies. Don’t block the flow of Love to yourself. I Love 💕 me I Love 💕 You Please Bless us All EveryOne 😇

@yourinnerchildmatters

7 ай бұрын

thank you so much for sharing these, very much appreciated 🙏✨💖

I love all the illustrations, the subconcious works on images and association so it's helping to re program. Not distracting as other comment says. But maybe for you, just listen instead

@yourinnerchildmatters

7 ай бұрын

thank you so much for your kind comments, bless you💕🙏✨💖

God Bless Your Precious Soul, Dr.Gabor🙏💗

Excelente informații! Multumeeesc doctor Cezar ești foarte tare ...și un medic bun dar și un om deosebit și asta contează cel mai mult! Imbratisari

I can so Relate ❤

Loved the video. And wow I realized something big. As you tell your story about not limping and and specifically regarding the involuntary responses going on. I questioned what is the difference in being able to share things or not about our lives? The day I learned about the involuntary part of our fire flight and how it goes on autopilot after being repeatedly triggered for a period of 3 to 5 years, the realization that it wasn't me became real. Acknowledging this to myself as a fact was a game changer. Hope! If you don't know you can't change. Now I watch for it all the time instead of letting it happen. Many times in hindsight due to its response time being 7 seconds ahead of schedule. Permission granted to f up everyday was a new rule I adopted. Realizing I never gave myself permission before. Living in constant state of hypervigilance from being the scapegoat for 46 years. So here it is. I f***** a catfish because I didn't want to hurt his feelings and it's okay because had I known I would have stopped it a lot sooner from happening. The loss has been great. But I see now it was me all along. And it's me now with a lot more choices in the game. It's how I treat myself that teaches people how to treat me and it is my number one responsibility to the life I've been given. Then I will see fit on how to love others. Then I will know the one that made me the only one that will ever be of me.

@yourinnerchildmatters

3 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for taking the time watching the video and for sharing your insights! ✨💖🙏

Please provide link to full lecture in your descriptions.

Love this, such wonderful work!❤❤

@yourinnerchildmatters

7 ай бұрын

Thank you so much!, glad you like it 💕🤗

Thank so much Dr. Maté!! I’ve heard you speak of the concepts in this vid so many times but in this moment what occurred to me “omg, is that why i didn’t share about this issue and that issue with my mother?” And it makes such sense because my first memory of us living together w/o my father left me feeling that I had to shut myself down/off so I wouldn’t be a burden to her, only to still be facing it and working to be free of that feeling nearly 40 years later. Thank you, this is so helpful 🙏🏽♥️

@yourinnerchildmatters

6 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for sharing your personal experience with us here. It takes a lot of courage to open up about these feelings, and I truly appreciate your vulnerability. I'm touched to hear that the content resonated with you and helped you make a meaningful connection to your own life experiences. Remember, you're not alone on this journey, and there's a whole community here to support you including me. Wishing you all the best as you continue to work towards healing and self-discovery. 🙏❤️

Thank you so much for the NEEDED activity you Do here . I really needed that . Most painful time in my life - and somehow , knowing this may be a “replay “ of infancy & childhood - which I have known since very young - no longer helps the solving of the triggering things happening today . What it DOES help with us some of the terror that this will never change & go on forever . But I do have to keep literally , leaving these circumstances I am in for periods of time until - I can solve the larger predicament . This helps with some of the intensity - but I dread coming back into the “unsolved “ territory - which I have to do every day because it is my “home “ and I have no other place to go- and have older animals that aren’t well that need care . But I am diminishing quietly - and staying in this situation un- solved is untenable . Thank you for witnessing ! And listening ! ❤

@yourinnerchildmatters

7 ай бұрын

I'd want to express sincere appreciation for your thoughtful message. It takes lots of bravery to discuss such personal stories, and I'm pleased that you've chosen to open yourself here. I'm so sorry to hear about the pain and trouble you're experiencing. You've clearly been carrying this burden for some time, and the fact that you're thinking about how it could be connected to your past is a big step toward understanding and healing. I can sense your tiredness and concern in your words, and I want you to know that your emotions are normal. The fear that nothing will ever change can be overwhelming. Taking those small breaks from your current circumstances is a reasonable decision. It gives you the space to breathe you need to gather your strength while considering solutions. I really admire your commitment to caring for older animals, despite your own difficulties. Your compassion flows through, and you clearly have a kind and nurturing heart. Remember that you are not alone in carrying this burden. Reach out to friends, family, or professionals who may give guidance and encouragement during this challenging journey. You deserve a meaningful life free of the burden that you're now carrying. Thank you for telling us your story. Your bravery and vulnerability are seen and heard here, and I hope you've made a little step toward the resolution and serenity you desire. You are not alone, and others are concerned about your well-being. Sending you lots of love, hugs, strength, and the hope that better days are coming.💖🌻💕 With deepest sympathy from your Inner Child Matters Channel family.💕🙏✨💖

@maryannribble3254

4 ай бұрын

@@yourinnerchildmatters this is balm to my soul, thank you again for your much needed and compassionate presence !

You have changed my life. Thank you!

@yourinnerchildmatters

7 ай бұрын

You're so welcome! i am happy, this video helps. please take care of yourself💫💕🙏

Thank you! I won't elaborate, but this reminder is great!❤

@yourinnerchildmatters

7 ай бұрын

You are so welcome!, i am so glad these video resonated with you. Bless you💫💕🙏

And if the child is neglected and left alone without care, food, love or protection, the child will want to die. The child will learn to hate life from the early age. The child will never really trust anyone. Or respect anyone. The child never was given an opportunity to to learn what a beautiful worthy wonderful person she is or she can be. The child will never have a dream. She will exist to satisfy the people who is willing to give her any time of the day. And the existential threat inside herself is too much that she will be anything she has to be. She will pretend to be whoever she thinks to please the people around herself. The protection she never received, the love that she never received, the hunger for the love she never received is such that the child will neglect herself to that she can have what she has craved so much. And when she find out that no matter how much she gives up or changes herself to be loved, protected, and respected... because nobody really love, respect, or treasure anyone who doesn't have identity or respect to herself......then she will finally realize that the life is not worth living........that is the point when Jesus steps in.

Please do a video on how abusers silence their victims.

@carolynhamilton9728

6 ай бұрын

Yes, I agree.

@yourinnerchildmatters

6 ай бұрын

thanks for suggestion💕🙏

Thanks doc

@yourinnerchildmatters

5 ай бұрын

thank you 💖

This puts major things into perspective in my life. This is what I needed to hear as my son is 14 and knows mu number, but doesn't contact me. I gave up, thinking it's too late, as if he took sides with her. Yet, he didn't. He is in a position where he must suppress his feelings in order to maintain his attachment to his mother, the only consistent parent he knows, albeit by force. At this point, I no longer know my children, I have zero relationship and contact. So for me, what's the point? I no longer know them. So they're my biological children, big egotistical deal, but I didn't choose this. We shall see what tomorrow may bring. I simply want to be free of my attachment to outcomes so that Ibam not dragged under the water by an anchor of grief. Yet now I have more understanding about how these things manifest and I appreciate that so much.

@yourinnerchildmatters

6 ай бұрын

Your heartfelt comment has really touched me. It takes great bravery to open up about your personal challenges, and I admire your bravery. It's clear that you love your son and your children. Life may be truly complicated, and circumstances can sometimes create distances we never expected. It's clear that you're trying to better understand the problem, which is a big step. Remember, it's never too late to reach out and try to reconnect with your children, even if the distance seems impossible. Take tiny steps and be kind with yourself. Focus on your own well-being and personal growth and development, and it may eventually lead to positive improvements in your relationships. This journey can be very challenging, and it may take some time for things to get better. Remember that you are not alone in this, and that many people have been in similar situations. I hope that you will be able to reconnect with your children and create a meaningful relationship with them over time. Stay strong, and keep holding on to the newfound understanding you've gained. Tomorrow brings new opportunities, and I wish you all the best on your journey to healing and reconnecting.💖🙏🥰

@Salon-no-mind

6 ай бұрын

Hey there, my mother did the same thing at that age. Now I’m 30 and have no contact with her and have a good relationship with my father.

@carmagurl317

5 ай бұрын

Dont give up ! He needs you. Keep reaching out, in the end he'll always remember you were there.

@petersickman5560

5 ай бұрын

Hang in there. I had similar experiences. My daughter 24 now . My pain and grief directly brought me to relationship with God,Jesus Holy Spirit and the inner work such as Mate teaches.. Find fellowship and God's love

Thank you so much 🎩🙏🤗

@yourinnerchildmatters

7 ай бұрын

thank you very much too, bless you 💕🤗

Are you willing to take the first step in healing your inner child and putting your own needs first? Dr. Gabor Mate's encouraging talks address is a must-watch for everyone who struggles with sacrificing themselves for the sake of others. Let us help spread the word and make the video go viral in order to spread the message of mental health awareness and inner child healing. Don't miss out on Dr. Gabor Maté's powerful message that has the potential to change your life for the better. 💖🌻💕🤗 #DrGaborMate, #SelfCare ,#PersonalGrowth, #MentalHealth, #LifeTransformation, #SelfNeglect, #HealingJourney ,#MindBodyConnection

@leelee8720

5 ай бұрын

What is the first step??? He tells us what’s wrong and why, but what now? This is where I get stuck at.

Why do some people seem to not need any consistent attachment? Traveling always, many plates spinning? There is never too much time with any one person.

@yourinnerchildmatters

3 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing your thoughts! ❤️💖🙏

👌👍 do more such informative videos.

@yourinnerchildmatters

7 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for watching 🙏✨💖

Oh, how unfortunate that this comes to a stop so abruptly and we don't get to hear Gabor's wrap-up, although the talk itself is wonderful and helpful and much needed by so many of us, whether we recognize it or not. Is there a continuation somewhere else?

@northstar5919

3 ай бұрын

You can find a lot of videos on Gabor's channel. Other people share it.

Does anyone have a link for the original video? I don’t like the audio and music in the background as it distracts me. Thank you!

thank you so much for sharing this video ❤️❤️🙏

@yourinnerchildmatters

7 ай бұрын

Thanks for watching!

The teaching is wonderful, but the soundrack disturbs my listening. I prefer videos where we only hear the conference, with no background sounds added.

@yourinnerchildmatters

5 ай бұрын

🙏

Your really don't need all the actors and little scenes -- what D. Mate says is vivid and truthful enough, all the "illustrations" are not needed and are just distracting.

@Cowgirlkate

7 ай бұрын

Many learning styles need the visual aspects of the message. I am neurodivergent and this presentation is amazing for me; I hope you keep and open mind for future presentations as it may be powerful and healing for others. Your message was condescending and shaming IMHO ☮️

@yourinnerchildmatters

7 ай бұрын

sorry and Thank you so much for taking the time to watch and share your thoughts. We appreciate your feedback as well as respect your viewpoint. We understand that some viewers prefer a more direct approach, and we will absolutely take that into account in future content. Our goal is to create content that resonates to a wide audience, and we value your feedback in helping us improve. Thank you for being a member of our community once again!💕🙏✨💖

@yourinnerchildmatters

7 ай бұрын

Thank you very much for expressing your viewpoint, and I sincerely appreciate your opinion. It means a lot to me that this presentation resonated to you, especially as a neurodivergent person. Your feedback is valuable, and I'll keep an open mind about future presentations to make sure they're powerful and healing for everyone. thanks again, bless you more 💫💕🙏✨💖

@nicolahope5843

7 ай бұрын

I find it easier with visuals and being able to read whats beubg said also. 💕 Thank you for your efforts 🙏

@watchmeheal1176

7 ай бұрын

What works for you, might not work for someone else💯

❤ Gabor Mate MD PhD ❤

Taught helplessness

❤❤

@yourinnerchildmatters

7 ай бұрын

💕🙏✨

I’m sorry I am leaving this relationship and I am so done and saying goodbye to you , let’s just agree to disagree and call it truce, I just don’t think our morals , values and boundaries in life are in the same place , but I wish you well and wish you love, I am done ! Goodbye

Good message (it's Gabor Mate, guy is full of good advice) but the editing of the video was rough (particularly lines cutting off abruptly mid sentence) and still could use a good amount of work.

He needs to see an optomologist pronto!

Need a video on " How to make the freezed and numbed mind, active and proactive?

Great speach. Would be even better without the mystics music. Especially for hearing disabled but also for some content loving people like me. Thank you for all the work!

@yourinnerchildmatters

5 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for your kind words and for for taking the time watching the video! ❤️💖

WHAT DO YOU DO WITH THIS INFORMATION NOW THAT WE KNOW WHATS WRONG?! What is next? How do you deprogram? I am stuck 😢

Has this proved to recover from fibromyalgia and cfs ??

Wonderful, amazing and useful content. But the music is so off (in my opinion) and distracting. May I suggest another background music or even none? ❤

@yourinnerchildmatters

5 ай бұрын

Thanks for the tip!, much appreciated.❤️💖🙏

💜

@yourinnerchildmatters

6 ай бұрын

💖🙏

👍❤️

@yourinnerchildmatters

7 ай бұрын

thanks for watching💕🙏✨

12:32

A Emotionally neglectful mother says that her adult son does not care for his health though she is aware that she has been negligent with him .and d

Woww does that min if the baby is not crying it's suppressing their emotions and which means something is wrong with the parents internally (emotionally)?

@yourinnerchildmatters

2 ай бұрын

It's important to pay attention to a baby's cues and emotions, crying is just one way they communicate.

👂🏽

👍

@yourinnerchildmatters

6 ай бұрын

💖🙏

I agree with others, the video and people are distracting and make the message more shallow

Is cancer connected to surpressing sadness? 06:15. Isn't that just a myth?

Would prefer without music in the background- it is irritating and disturbing.

@yourinnerchildmatters

5 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for suggestion✨💖🙏

I'm to in touch.i can't turn it off. So I drink wine.

whats with the background noise, it makes it hard to listen to the doctor

I really like your videos but here’s a little constructive critique: Make the transitions more seemless, and let the music be more consistent. Cutting off the speech in the middle is very irritating. Don’t take my critique as an insult please 😊

@yourinnerchildmatters

5 ай бұрын

Thank you so much for your kind words and for taking the time to share your constructive feedback. I genuinely appreciate your support and value your input. I hear you on the need for smoother transitions and a more consistent musical flow. Your feedback is instrumental in helping me improve the viewing experience, and I'll certainly keep it in mind for future videos. I want you to know that I don't see your critique as an insult at all; on the contrary, I'm grateful for your honesty. It's through feedback like yours that I can refine my content and make it more enjoyable for everyone. Thanks again for being a part of this community and for your support❤️💖

@yourinnerchildmatters

5 ай бұрын

❤️💖

Okay earlier today I heard Dr Mate say his mom called the doctor when he was a baby because he was crying all the time. The doctor came over and told her that ALL the Jewish babies were crying, because they could sense the terror in the energy of their mothers. So which is it? Didn''t cry? Or cried so much mum rang for the doctor? C'mon man! Sheeesh! LOL :D

@yourinnerchildmatters

3 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

I think it’s sick that this material is being sold!

The guy on the thumbnail looks like he’s been neglecting himself as well

Whoever was responsible for that music is a cultural desert.

Kinda weird...he says stop neglecting yourself, but he is clearly doing that himself Gabor is driven and frail looking..probably doesn’t eat enough 😦

This fckng background music

islam is the solutuin to all your problems

@erick74572

5 ай бұрын

Don’t think so, religions are just polarizing society… and Islam, many people interpret it as to be eternal victims 😅 and so they have the right to everything. I guess every religion has it’s own downsides

Please ditch the companions to these. Awful and unnecessary