"It was titled--" "Oh no." "Oh boy. Oh jeez." "Oh no." "Oh boy."

@nickolaiproblem

4 жыл бұрын

How to pilfer sweets and get away with it

@xavierriv41

6 ай бұрын

Matt's uproarious laughter warms the cockles of my heart

I imagine Caleb wears sailor suits and permanently carries around an oversized lollipop.

@AceAttorny

5 жыл бұрын

@@videogamenostalgia There was an overnight transition between one and the other at some point.

@henryvanderwater6974

4 жыл бұрын

AceAttorny I imagine a bojack horseman childhood

@parttimeposter1998

3 жыл бұрын

His dad forces him to dress like that and keeps him chained in the basement like the gunsmith in RDR2.

@ProbablyOnLSD6669

Жыл бұрын

I believe you’re referring to the classic “Little Lord Fauntleroy” aesthetic

@finished6267

Жыл бұрын

@@ProbablyOnLSD6669 except instead of lollipops, Fauntleroy had a large vial of Negro tears...

"As long as the rest of the world sees you at your best" which is why I'm writing this column that depicts you as a monster

Failson Caleb sounds like the name of a Dark Souls boss.

@robbibittybob20

4 жыл бұрын

The unknown Prince of Lothric, shying away from his role as lord of cinder

@weak_username

3 жыл бұрын

In Elden Ring you get a special cutscene if you summon him in the fight against his father

@thomasgiles2876

3 жыл бұрын

"Ahh, you ignorant slaves. Finally taken notice have you? Of the power of my beloved Caleb, child of Hebrews." "Caaaaaaleeeeeeeeb!!!!"

@TurboNemesis

3 жыл бұрын

"In a far flung corner of an ancient city of beans, a father sits at a typewriter. His fingers spew words of hatred for his scorned offspring. The terrible child with whom he has cursed the world. Consume this wicked, oafish soul to obtain great power."

@videogamenostalgia

2 жыл бұрын

He throws his yarmulke at you like Kung Lao from Mortal Kombat, and in Phase 2 of the fight he summons his dad to write an open letter to you for the Boston Globe.

This is why my people have long passed down oral histories about how to steal candy

There is a 100% chance that Caleb is now a regular Chapo listener

@elizabethbennet4791

4 жыл бұрын

im waiting for him to call in

@yam83

4 жыл бұрын

Caleb go on Chapo!

@elizabethbennet4791

4 жыл бұрын

@@yam83 I deeply firmly, INTENSELY second this notion!

@frrascon

3 жыл бұрын

It would be so cool if he actually went on Trueanon instead.

@LeoSkyro

3 жыл бұрын

I mean he has to be aware of these episodes at least They're on the first page of google video results for his name, and who amongst us hasnt namesearched ourselves on every platform we can think of?

Caleb's Candyfesto

10 Crackle Commandments literally had me on the floor

4:07 the document title reveal is just amazing

@lilgramsci3676

5 жыл бұрын

I almost choked

@jarmarmarn4323

5 жыл бұрын

Matt's instant cackle is something else

@NoNameBrand450

3 жыл бұрын

Same! I was dying laughing!

@stefanfilipovits21

2 жыл бұрын

It’s so funny it’s painful. That poor kid.

@rickymoen9482

Жыл бұрын

Omg that was amazing. Doc title name at like 4:30

“Rules and Suggestions for Stealing Candy” sounds like the title of a bad debut literary fiction novel

The joy is Will's voice gives me wings.

I kinda love Caleb tbh

@Yinlock470

5 жыл бұрын

he's clearly struggling against seriously over-controlling and emotionally abusive parents it just happens to also be really funny

@videogamenostalgia

3 жыл бұрын

Rules and suggestions for stealing *your heart* (.docx)

I bet Caleb’s classmates taunt him each year by reading his father’s article at him.

The doc title made me laugh so hard I got a six pack

Matt lost 20 lbs with that laugh

This is library of Congress worthy

This whole thing plays out like an IRL On Cinema plotline told over many seasons.

@athousandfeethigh

2 жыл бұрын

If Tom Cruise Jr. had survived, Tim would've absolutely done this every year at the Oscar Special

I had to explain to my kids why two people installing their schools new turf for the schools playground were murdered over tools.

@rickymoen9482

Жыл бұрын

Wat?

4:37 ... FEEL GOOD

Jeff is a terrible parent. My youngest is the same age as Caleb*, if my arithmetic serves, and never would I ever put shit out about him like this. I get permission from my own kids even to post pictures of them on Facebook. If Caleb doesn't speak to his parents when they are old, this Jacoby dude has only himself to blame. *The kid who introduced me to Chapo.

I was expecting the document to be titled rules and strategies for engaging Israeli defense force

11year old Caleb invented trolling

11:38 "Perceived indignities", they sound real to me.

If an eleven year old is titling a document rules and suggestions for stealing candy for personal use he needs to see a psychiatrist because one of his future documents will probably be rules and suggestion for disposing of bodies.

This sounds like an average Yahoo forums post from one of the ethnostates forked by Germany after WW2

Caleb Jacoby 2020

Any time I need cheered up I listen to the bit about stealing candy. Kills me every time

Caleb is Naive Machiavelli

Treat Club

: Katie is representative of damn near every fan of this show - at the beginning, you have no idea what to say about these chucklefucks cracking up about truant, treat-filching failsons - but by the end, you're the cool aunt of his new family in the Trap.

This made me laugh harder than anything has is a long time. I don’t always agree with your guys politics but good damn you’re entertaining

Dad a straight snitch

At least my parents only savagely beat me.

Holy shit this was fucking great

Someone post the document on Chive

I wonder what Caleb's ACE score is

@theoneandonlymichaelmccormick

4 жыл бұрын

AuralAudacity ASMR Honestly? He may already be a little crazy. Like, making a comprehensive instruction manual on how to steal candy and stuff? How long before that becomes a body, or a stash of jewelry? He may already be a sociopath, and I’m ALL for it.

I am forever in love with the amount of money dipshits at PragerU and the like spend on lefty-youtube like y'all and Contrapoints. Like if someone is this far down the rabbit hole why the fuck are they trying? Thanks for the support I guess? Sending my love y'all

The traitor Brendan James