I was inspired by this video to make an Enneagram-themed red flags filter for INSTAGRAM! Be the first to try it! It only works on phone so if you're on your desktop, it won't work! instagram.com/ar/244229348406228/

@thewolverine2123

9 ай бұрын

@Abbey what’s your least favorite enneagram type ?

@AbbeyHowe

8 ай бұрын

@@thewolverine2123 I don't have one! Every type has good parts and bad parts.

Be vulnerable and emotionally honest with people who care about me?! NEVER!!! Just kidding😂 I’m an eight, and being able to have that moment where I can let my guard down without consequences or fear of blackmail/control is so important to staying in a healthy mindset. I’m lucky enough that I have my mother to be my safe place where I can let everything go.

@AbbeyHowe

10 ай бұрын

😂 Thanks for sharing, Izabella!

@MothmanInHisChibiEra

8 ай бұрын

I read the first two sentences and went “wooof, whole mood”…then you mentioned being a fellow 8 and it immediately made sense 😂

"I'm wasting my life" - Wow, that was hard for my type 4 ears to hear. But that was literally me last week, mulling over the fact that my life had been reduced to mundane repetitiveness: Working remotely at my 9 to 5, doing chores, and co-parenting my 5 year old nephew; barely having time to write the "next worldwide bestselling novel". I feared that dying without a legacy (finding my soulmate, having kids, and changing the world with my stories) meant I'd wasted my potential on an ordinary life. Then I read an article online detailing how to grow towards being a healthy four and I learned that there is BEAUTY in the ORDINARY. My mundane work was significant and I could find creative ways to get my writing passion satiated and eventually getting my books published. Furthermore, I did find a probable solution (dictation) that is working really well and is allowing me to see my significance in the ordinariness of my life. Gratitude is my new attitude. Thanks, Abs :-)

@AbbeyHowe

10 ай бұрын

Avi, this is so beautiful. thank you for sharing. There's a book that celebrates the beauty in the ordinary that I think you would love. It's called "An Altar in the World" by Barbara Brown Taylor. ♥️

@Avionne_Parris

10 ай бұрын

@@AbbeyHowe Thanks for the recommendation! I will definitely check it out :-)

Im a 9w8 and the way you phrased "accepting temporary discomfort" changed my perception. I used to go into conflicts to 'face it and be over with it asap' but now I see that's still not 'accepting discomfort', it's not serene nor healthy. Thank you lots!

This... this explains a lot about the way different people in my life handle different things. I have type "working hypothesis" for some that haven't typed themselves, others I know what they found, and... yeah, in each case I can definitely see these patterns. It helps... I hope.

Abbey, you’re such a sweetheart with such empathy. I worked with a narcissist 3 who was so contemptuous of others that such a level of self-reflection that you engage in was not possible for him.

@AbbeyHowe

10 ай бұрын

thanks Jessica ♥️

Great video! It made me think that you could create either a workshop or online mini-course, specific deep dive for each Enneagram type! Like how Enneagram 1 - strengths, weakness, things to look out for, healthy or unhealthy ways to show up in career or relationships or friendships. Would totally be down for that!

@AbbeyHowe

10 ай бұрын

That’s a great idea! I will look into it. ♥️

Just love the simplicity of your delivery.

@AbbeyHowe

9 ай бұрын

I appreciate that!

Awesome video. My best friend is a one and this helps me to understand and care for her better.

@AbbeyHowe

10 ай бұрын

I'm so glad!! This is literally the whole point of the Enneagram

Great advice! Thank you for sharing!

@AbbeyHowe

10 ай бұрын

Thanks for watching and commenting, Margaret!

I'm a nine and recently had "a conflict" that every nine is afraid of. When you already decide to speak up, do it in a polite way, and then it turns into a stream of excuses and accusations 😂 soooo, what to do in such situations in order not to shut down completely to such a person, who happens to be your close friend? 😬

@Claire-tk4do

6 ай бұрын

As a fellow nine, that's where another greatest challenge of a 9 comes into play: standing your ground, being grounded in yourself, and staying true to who you are even when others are pushing/pulling. But the trick is to be clear, forthright, and calmly assertive (well, an 8 probably wouldn't think us super assertive even when we think we're being bold, but we're stretching, k?) Sometimes you just gotta give it time and space, but... Sometimes you need to address it and draw a boundary The latter is scarier, but so important too, though it's hard. A boundary looks like "I'm not okay with (me/someone else) being treated this way." And if necessary, it also comes with "here's how *I* will behave if this issue comes up so that myself/others will be well". NOT passive-agressive "well if you'll do this I'll do that" type of deal, but calm grounded "I will not have a conversation when you're yelling or calling names" "if you're saying rude or mean things in social settings I will call you on it and shift the conversation" "I need to get enough rest for the next day, so I will be leaving at *insert time*, even if the movie isn't finished" It's pretty late here so idk anymore if that even made sense or was helpful at all but I'll risk posting in just in case it's somehow helpful 3 months later Anyways boundaries are SUPER HARD but important, totally look into using boundaries and being assertive. And taking some more distance without completely shutting down is sometimes an okay or even wise thing to do too, there's no one-size-fits-all answer. Sorry :0

Hey could someone give me some advice on how to figure out what a sx 9 wants or thinks about things?

What do you do if a person refuses to acknowledge that they are in that place of disintegration? Everyone around that person continues to suffer

confirmed, type 4. lol

👍

Guess wanting to blow up all bridges using the enneagram as a tool fits not being vulnerable hehe

@darkcreatureinadarkroom1617

10 ай бұрын

Honestly! Thanks to the Enneagram I know I'm a 4, and I can tell when my red flags are waving all around me, but then the hardest part is actually _wanting_ to get out of that thought loop and admitting that yeahhhh, maybe I might possibly be blowing this up a tiny bit-- okay, waaaay more than it may perhaps need be appropriate... Vulnerability is freaking hard, no joke.

@AbbeyHowe

10 ай бұрын

IT IS SO HARD. It's a strange dichotomy because vulnerability is seen as soft and feminine, but it takes incredible strength and will-power to do it.

@darkcreatureinadarkroom1617

10 ай бұрын

@@AbbeyHowe vulnerability is only seen as a weakness by those who are not strong enough to use it 😉 Aaaand now I have the topic for my next therapy session, "how to dare to be vulnerable when others won't" 😂 Love using the Enneagram for growth ❤️

@joedoe8558

10 ай бұрын

Blah haha

@joedoe8558

10 ай бұрын

Guess the bridges might still be there tomorrow then hehe. Let's see