Everything you described is what happened to me. His last text to me was “I love you”. My instinct told me something wasn’t right so I checked the cell phone bill and saw an unrecognized number that he’d call/text over and over again. Most times he’d do it right after he’d call/text me. I called the number and a woman answered. I asked if she knew my then husband and she replied “yea he’s right here. Want to talk to him?” When he got on the phone he completely discarded me and told me that we were separated and started smearing me in front of her. The OW knew he was married and didn’t care. She told me that she was willingly to take her chances with him. He married her after I remarried now they are divorced. He almost destroyed me. I blamed myself for a long time. I’m no longer the person I used to be but I did come out stronger and wiser. I can now see the tale tell signs and avoid those ppl at all cost. Thank you for your series. It has been eye opening and informative.

@teresaz7152

3 жыл бұрын

💝💝💝

@avanellehansen4525

3 жыл бұрын

Gentle huga

Everything is a sick game with these people. How tragic that all they crave is power. They will never know the absolute beauty of life and of love.

@hgtudor-theultra

3 жыл бұрын

Do not need to know about it, so we are unconcerned. You are more concerned about it that we are.

@desiderata333

3 жыл бұрын

@@hgtudor-theultra Interesting... Thank you for replying.

@chilloften

3 жыл бұрын

Detect that lack of depth up front. Black hole robots 🤖

@hadassah6085

3 жыл бұрын

A sick game/fantasy world - deluded to feel power and superiority- an ego trip. Too good for “love” even. All fake - all an ego trip. So strange that it is satisfying. Even the love of a dog, let alone a person, is the most meaningful thing. Everything is meaningless without love. The opposite of an ego trip..

@bebe8842

2 жыл бұрын

@@hgtudor-theultra Once we are done with you we don't care about your existence anymore, what you miss out and/or enjoy in life. We live our lives. We marry, we have kids, we move out of the country... things like this. We stop caring, entirely and for ever. Time heals, anyways ,what the mind can no longer comprehend. As far as I am concerned, I didn't see any narcissist so far that would do better in life than any of their previous partners, but all those partners succeeded to live better lives once they escaped.

This is just so crazy! That they are doing this and then truly believe that they are faithful.🤯

@Real2k25

3 жыл бұрын

They are so psycho

@paigebrown4037

3 жыл бұрын

No...they believe that they are playing two bitches against each other...to be blunt....and getting off on it obviously.

@fortune333

3 жыл бұрын

@@paigebrown4037 yes with smirk on they face..

@rebeccataylor621

3 жыл бұрын

@@paigebrown4037 YES!! They get a big ego boost if they can get 2 women fighting each other and crying over them. So evil!

Being the wife, I have experienced exactly as you said. Thank you a glimpse of how he is with the others.

@regiz5358

3 жыл бұрын

Did you caught him?

I divorced a cheating malignant narcissist alcoholic... it’s so devastating coming to terms with not only his abuse but all the lies uncovered about this malevolent stranger and enemy I was “married “ to

HG you really gave us the player's game! It is shocking as hell. How do we know who is real! I still believe in love. I have yet to experience it. I thank God for loving me. The narcissists is poison! Thank God for reality, justice, truth, faith, hope , and love. I needed to hear this sad information.

@PaperMario64

3 жыл бұрын

He really did. Watch his video about who Narcs target and red flags. They reveal themselves early on. We just didn’t know what to look for. Knowledge is power.

@Real2k25

3 жыл бұрын

Yes unbelievable

@stacielivinthedream8510

3 жыл бұрын

Oh dear he doesn't love you or us at all! He has said so! Her only does it to live on in perpetruity!

@Msmary98-98

3 жыл бұрын

@@stacielivinthedream8510 he’s a narc. They are not capable of love or empathy. He says what he is in almost every video.. we all know he gets fuel from the compliments and the fluffing and that he doesn’t give a dahm about any of us cause his narcissm won’t let him .. I still think he’s a brilliant man .

@YasminMahnaz

2 жыл бұрын

@@Msmary98-98 why? Why do y need him to care about us or your ppl , you youtube commenters lol .. do u want to be admired for commenting . That's funny. Its like the reverse. Having taylor swft fan get all emotional cause , they went to get concert and she saw them w eye contact, even it was just glimpse in general...insignificant. he's hilarious, this was the best, the end was nice, put one on shelf and take next one off .. keep them up there. Its lik mechanical thinking robot, except robot don't care for sex

You are describing the narcissist that involved himself with me to the letter. He believes whatever lie, compliment or promise he’s telling in the moment. He lives moment by moment without any thought to what happened yesterday. He would subtly drop the future-faking comfort crumbs and even when my heart wanted to gobble them up like some poor starving pigeon, something in me held back. He would complain that I don’t tell him my feelings or that I was holding back. It’s because he wanted me all-in. He wanted me to constantly call and text so he could control me and put in my place. I would not follow the routine because I perceived he had no intention of changing his situation. He would complain about his home life and yet I knew from past conversations that he enjoyed his lifestyle. He had his wife sufficiently under control. Why would a Narc ever change that? Thank you, HG. You helped me see myself through the eyes of a Narc, which is more helpful than listening to non-Narcs analyze Narc behaviors.

But who wants to be on the shelf weeks or months???? First silent treatment and we're saying; bye bye mister.

@youtubediva7236

3 жыл бұрын

Right, that's something I learned and accepted a long time ago, the more we go without speaking, the easier it is for me to disappear

Once the mask slips you can’t unsee it

@candirayne470

3 жыл бұрын

Yes, the awakening😳

@kirstysewell367

3 жыл бұрын

So true

@roselereau6981

3 жыл бұрын

Shocking, isn’t it?

No doubt during the marriage my then husband pulled this sort of thing. He had several affairs. The 'oh woe is me my marriage is awful blah blah' statement. He used the fact that I worked nights as an excuse to mess about even though he couldn't keep a job.

I am in this exact marriage, although he know I know he has a dirty little secret yet still lies about it. But that’s him. Idc what he does. That’s why I’m divorcing him

This is incredibly accurate. So accurate, it’s mind blowing. Wow, good one ☝️

@hgtudor-theultra

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you.

I moved hours away and he kept contacting me through social media emails phone calls text messages and eventually showed up at my house. He has three orders of protection to stay away and is on 31 charges. He continued to sleep and date another woman and has made her believe that I am the abusive one even though he is currently in jail. He had been smearing me to her for long before I even knew but she thinks he’s so in love with her and that he hasn’t done anything wrong meanwhile he travels over three hours to show up at my house and continues to send me messages mean and bad ones as well as he loves me and wants me back. Crazy making. She is still supporting him while he is in jail now.

@PaperMario64

3 жыл бұрын

Insanity! The other woman knows something isn’t right. Her “emotional thinking” is getting in the way. How much time/pain could be avoided if non-Narcs would stop projecting their own thinking and feelings onto these human tornadoes.

@Real2k25

3 жыл бұрын

Wow wish I put protective order on mine she stalked me

This man is brilliant! I’m obsessed with his channel and before anyone says anything. I’m fully aware of what he is and I don’t mean it like that. I just love intelligent people and he is brilliant ❤️ he says what it is and how it’s going to be and if you don’t like it then too bad.

@explorer0213

2 жыл бұрын

Cheque is in the post lol

@ShaareiZoharDaas

2 жыл бұрын

i agree I respect information regardless of the source.

It is neither love or hate they feel. It is Need. A constant requirement for fuel and control is the primary aim the only aim. This matches with their need to avoid boredom. Control is power and the more people you control,the more power you have.The puppeteer who will pull all the strings you will allow. You have really got the hang of this HG, truth and tell business.It is so brilliant of you to tell those who make excuses for their narcissist, the exact truth of the matter. It is hard to detect if you are not able to see to their core but I am pretty sure that even normals would know that something was off in the marriage but many wives choose to put up with it. I didn't. I could see.

Quite an account of what I experienced. Spot on and jaw dropping.

I’m amazed ...... so true excruciatingly well described, thank you H G, knowledge is always better than ignorance

@avanellehansen4525

3 жыл бұрын

Yes. I'm s validating and healing to the faithful wife thirty years after this happened!

I’ll never fall in love ever again, I truly appreciate all of your videos HG, many many thanks 🙏

@hgtudor-theultra

3 жыл бұрын

You are welcome.

@Grace.allovertheplace

3 жыл бұрын

@@hgtudor-theultra thank you HG🙏🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

@ShineMedia1

2 жыл бұрын

why deprive yourself of falling in love? To me, that's a loser game. Love is wonderful and true love knows no boundaries- time, space, dimensions. Just never fall for a narcissist, that's only trouble and false love cos they don't feel love for anything, except themselves.

A “good little appliance”. 🤬 I’d rather be a “bad little appliance”. I’ll play the part of the Maytag from hell. LOL!

@HatBilly2008

3 жыл бұрын

If you do that they are still controlling you. It will not make positive fuel or negative fuel. If you want to play there game learn how they think, learn there rules they play on you. To be the hell, do not act like you been doing, because that is only fuel. Call out there lies with proof, and cut out any family or friends that talk with the narcissistic. You and you only control when or if you communicate or not. And when you do, do it in one sentence very short very small without emotions talk like a robot. Facts only, no thank you, hi, any thing positive or negative. They will drive them crazy. Remember your reaction is what they want from you.

@daretodazzle331

3 жыл бұрын

That is funny !! 😅

@paigebrown4037

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you Rabbit Hole Bill. I’ve already slayed that dragon. I’m an appliance no more. The “Maytag from hell” is what I became...for a brief period...on the way out...during escape. I pulled the 🔌 plug on the fuel ⛽️ generator and went home. 🙂 Narcs find the word “demon” offensive...I find the word “appliance” offensive. It’s all about perception so I’m told. LOL!

@robertataylor5794

3 жыл бұрын

LOL Rock the boat dump us both now swim away!

@st.albans4997

3 жыл бұрын

👍😄

U sir have just described my ex husband of 38 years to a T.....even the changing ROOM PRETENDING to try on clothes and calling her .....hes long gone now and getting divorced at 65vyears of age ....convinced he was living that LIFESTYLE THROUGHOUT OUR MARRIAGE !!

The mindset explained gives me chills. I believe a narcissist is incapable of fidelity, and sees no purpose for it. They compartmentalize, have entitlement and no empathy so an affair would be just too tantalizing to resist. I wonder how common cheating is, if only 50%, or more like 80% or always ALL?

Thank you for your channel and your honesty. As much as hearing the truth hurts, I'm at the point in my life and my relationship with my ex after 20 years, I don't want anything but the truth. My denial kicked in and did a number on me the last few years, but all that did was keep me in a position of never-ending excruciating pain and misery. Listening to your broadcasts , there is no more turning back, or wasting another minute on something that was clearly never meant to be. Thank you. 💔

@eternalfaith4622

2 жыл бұрын

Pray you heal and succeed

I meant to add that there is a difference HG in the experience a woman goes through with a narcissist, all the residual benefits but no depth to it and the difference between that and love is someone who provided all the residual benefits but whose actions showed how much you meant to them and how no matter what life threw at them, you were the only one they wanted and needed. That, when you have experienced both, is the deciding factor. Problem is many have never experienced both.,...which is why the narcissist can operate in this way.

HG you make more sense than all other videos I have ever watched thank you

Thank you HG for this disgusting truth. It just knocked me off a million paces away from the narcissist.

The empath that knowingly carries on an affair with a married narcissist is most deserving of the control of that narcissist.

@evabrick2526

Жыл бұрын

And you think this person is aware she s dating a narc? Put the blame on the married man instead

@SaystheTruth3

10 ай бұрын

​@@evabrick2526exactly 💯

@libbybarrett1268

10 ай бұрын

@@evabrick2526 No but she knew he was married. The blame does belong on the cheating spouse but she's not innocent either.

There are people that see through all of this though. I guess that's why I was constantly trying to be hooked.

No wonder why he had no time to look for a job and needed nana naps at 2pm in the afternoons. How exhausted he must be.

@PaperMario64

3 жыл бұрын

I always picture a Narc having 20-30 plates spinning on sticks and they are trying to keep them all spinning so they don’t fall. It’s exhausting to wear masks and juggle people and lies. But they get a thrill from duping folks. One day, all of the plates will crash, but when they do, the Narc will just move to a new town and buy more plates! Seems unfair but they never actually know love and compassion and real intimacy.

@bernesemuir8022

3 жыл бұрын

🤣 now that's funny but i guess u correct! My ex as I think back was always tired!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣

@zaychloey88

3 жыл бұрын

Agreed!

@peacefaith560

3 жыл бұрын

no job??

When i finally woke up a month ago, i ended called her then husband, and told him the truth, he also was suspecting her betrayal, because she started devaluing him a year ago, then when i was been devalued it was him that got all the attention, and this cycle continued way too long! What she does now is no business of mine i know that her then husband has her on No Contact just as i am, however i still dread the day she might try to contact me, i hope that day never comes. I appreciate your channel HG, it brings alot of insight into her behaviour the last year, thank you.

Relatable story. I found out the narc was married unbeknown to me. He was living in Australia and she was in Scotland. Over time things didn't add up and I blew his cover. Blocked and deleted him forever. Sick f*#cks.

HG you are quite the character...you are so right on.. I'm only laughing as to how accurate you really are on these topics and just how many people are actually falling for these lies.. sad world we live....

This is brilliant - just tells it like it is. Too many people are too quick to place their own values and emotional thinking onto others - and assume that everyone is like them and would never do x y or z to other people. It makes people really vulnerable to those who mean harm. Pieces such as this are excellent and help to equip others to stay safe.

Hi HG, everything you said about the extra marital affair or the dirty little secret 😉 really resonated with me. I love how you said " I think of you thinking of me " 😂. I think your great, keep them coming, Tilly xxx

So tempting to fwd to the other appliance. But that would break no contact. My logical thinking is blocking the emotional.

So much truth here. Sad. My husband of 12 years discarded me and is shacked up with the secretary from his work. I could feel resentment towards him.

Like most of the other people commenting, I’ve been here. As teenagers we did the whole cycle and I got shelved. We found each other over and over and ended up getting married. Time after time I caught him in sketchy side pursuits and he would be angry and then apologetic and then loving. Finally he left me. Pregnant and with 2 toddlers, we had just moved into a home in a small town where he grew up, I had no car and 10s of thousands of dollars of debt, and a business all in my name. He told me he wasn’t happy and was staying with his mom. He was secretly dating. Immediately. I was broken. A few weeks later, he came back and told me we could work on us, but that he wanted to be polyamorous. But I was not allowed to. And if I said no, he would leave. So I agreed under duress, and he carried on dating. It wasn’t 2 weeks later when he stopped coming home and moved in with his girlfriend. He would take her on fancy expensive dates while I was scraping money together to buy groceries for myself and my kids. I would stay with his mom to keep close so he could see the kids, and though he was 3 blocks away, he couldn’t be bothered to visit them. A month later, she was also pregnant. And he was going back and forth between the two of us. He convinced us that moving in all together would be better and I moved into her apartment with my kids. Still pregnant. He put her above me in everything. I ended up doing the housework and cooking and shopping on my own. He said they were being nice to me by allowing me to have one night a week with my husband of 5 years. The rest were with her. I watched him go to bed with her and crawled into bed pregnant and alone, consoling my two, and then 3 kids. He treated her like a queen and me like trash to appease her, and when she was gone he would tell me he loved e an was so glad I was there and he wanted to be together but if I was sad then I was just a negative horrible person. I did that for 9 months until moving back to our home where she moved away, and for the past 3 months he has tried bouncing back and forth. I have told him I want a divorce as soon as I can manage it. I never felt that he was a narcissist in the moment… but I can’t believe the betrayal and control and heartlessness I was treated with in the last 15 months.

@SaystheTruth3

10 ай бұрын

Are you a Mormon?

@shahnazbi8346

8 ай бұрын

You stupid woman putting up with all this bull shit. Get yourself and your kids out of this sham "marriage".

I love this channel. Thank you for all of this awesome material on these blood sucking narcs

That was my " key to freedom ". Its so accurate, it pisses me off,

Wow, that was my life in a nutshell with my exgf. I was the other who was told that she was leaving her husband but first he never touched her for over a year. Then he wanted to try to fix them so she had to weekly. I see NOW what was most likely really going on. I became the primary after but I stole her control or she at least felt that way so I then went through 5 years of mental anguish as she tried to find new primaries and when they didn't work out she would take me off the shelf my shelf was labeled the best friend with benefits+++ but if I objected I was cast away. She seems to be a mid range narc. Still trying to figure out where exactly

I was the wife. The OW was my best friend. He left me for her (after several months of the affair) and then kept the affair a secret for a year and a half. They split up 6 months before I found out. ( I also had their photos and text messages because ex and I still shared iTunes and they appeared on a cloud. It was like HG wrote his texts to her. Based on your sex with a narcissist series, well, he was in his 40s with an alcohol addiction, so he probably broke it off because he did not want to be embarrassed by poor performance. I was in the devaluation phase, but didn't know it. I was so hurt by this...the betrayel. I lobbed a supernova when I wrote to my friend"s BF, who was days away from proposing to her. BF was my ex"s best friend. Wish I had access to this information a decade ago.

Thank you for this. 💯

I appreciate your if the narc was honest. It explains things greatly. I believe smearing begins way before devaluation for she fears being found out by anyone.

I loved this. I mean, I knew about all of this but it confirmed what I knew. I was triangulated and in June 2022, I was the DLS. The position changed and then SHE became the DLS. I left. I have been the one waiting for the texts and I have been the IPSS, well aware of what was going on and pretending that I didn't, before pulling the plug and leaving. As he is a mid-range, he won't have been too bothered, but will have been bothered somewhat that his alleged cleverness didn't get past me. It's behind me now.

Uugh, I've dealt with all of that garbage 😡 I did hear that he was all sorts of mad about when I was gone a few hours to the store one times wondering what the hell i was doingthat would be taking me that long- while he could be gone hours days or weeks and it was supposed to be ok😣 I'm more irritated at myself- I wish he'd never poked back into my life a couple years back, we dated as teenagers and lost touch for many years, did the golden period, didn't see it coming, and when the red flags started smacking me in the face I let my heart and history over ride my judgement and common sense, he has at least 10 fb accounts, he ripped me off then after a week i got the "hey beautiful sorry I haven't been able to stop by been dealing with bs" I didn't reply

@SaystheTruth3

10 ай бұрын

I wish more people realized that it doesn't matter how many years you've been together for.....aka history. If someone is treating you terribly? You need to leave them period.

Life of a narcissist is a wasted life..i don't fell sorry for them if they can't expirience love, joy , happiness...and peace...they are not worthy of our presence... .they do what they do that's their problem they chose to live a life so dishonestly by mistreating and cheating people..they live their miserable life alway in pain and on alert .....what kind a life is that?? There is no peace for the wicked God promised....So let's live our colorful rainbow life careless what these bunch of losers their up to..God bless and remember our happiness is genuine to its best... ..

The pity play is so pathetic, I laughed. No time wasted there. 😆

Wow! that smacked me in the face!

I love this.... it explains everything perfectly ...my ex told me his wife was violent used to hit him smash up the house , was a drunk , they didn’t have sex because she wasn’t a turn on ... she raped me on holiday ...she fucked her cousin ! Her best friend tried it on with me ... it went on & on ... I’m certain it was the other way around !!! After he left her for me , 5 years on he won’t divorce her ... because .. she’s my wife ... you don’t measure up to her !!! Oh god it’s exhausting!!!

Very good video..I got a lot from it.

I loved this monologue, so evil but so real on the other hand. It must be really exhausting to be him, lying, changing masks infront of all his supplies and leading a double life. Do these people have time for hobbies?

Amazing insight.

I was a narc dirty little secret , even though I was hoovered in Jan , I am hoping and praying that He will leave me alone, and not come to the class where we meet. I am just scared, this is not emotional thinking. I discarded him when the lies came to light

Although male to female translation isn't difficult, it would nice to hear some of these videos from the perspective of the female narcissist. My experience was awful in the my experienced bliss came in the package of my 'type'; Petite, French, dark hair, green eyes...so the loss was made even more painful by showing as Perfection. I wanted the narcissist to be any other lover. Not in the form of my ideal partner. Pity.

i can not explain how SPOT on this was to my wifes affair literally word for word LOL the play book

Great video! Perfect explaination!

Has there ever been a time you wanted to change? That you looked at two young lovers happy in love lost in each other, and thought you might like to know what that feels like? Or an old happy couple out for a walk in the park smiling and holding hands, and thought wonder how much longer I can exist like this? In an almost parasitic fashion to survive on ipps and isps.

ON POINT!!!!! 10000000%

So Many Facts 💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯

Thank you

Oh my f*ing GAWD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Applience🤣 oh god- this is a magic word to break any spell

they always lie!!

We are the appliances ....

They regard everyone as an extention of themselves and sickening people who steal money from them and tge midranger still talks to the ass who played the narc and stole 19000. It pisses me off greatly. And its hard to wrap my head around tge fact that she interacts w the b**** who stole money from the company. Lack of judgment on the narcs part and denial that this woman could have stole money and clients!

He was messing with my head

Damn! This is Fucking GENIUS!

But I'm also very excited to study ur deamons

I knew, moved out a my bedroom! So, f that!

You are brutal HG and I see some of my behavior described, but these are the cards I was dealt. Also could be genetic. Live & learn I say. Edited to say: I don't see me changing at any future time.

Dagger to the heart. All true. 😢 hlad im awake

Have you spoken about what happens when a midrange narcissist gets caught by the IPPS and immediately discards the long term IPSS to salvage the IPPS relationship/marriage? If the narcissist is forced to disengage from an IPSS, will they attempt to hoover them back when they have the ability? Or will they actually leave them alone?

@7Danita

2 жыл бұрын

They will never leave you alone the Hoover may take a while or may come around fairly quickly however it will happen if you have not gone no contact

After a narcissist you can never trust

An old boss used to slag his mrs off to anyone who would listen in the office. His pitty play was pathetic. Divorce exaists plenty do it all the time. If they wanted to leave they would. There were women in the office who believed him. He still makes my skin crawl

Why does he have the same mannerisms (breathing)as Shaun Attwood?

Do Narcissists secretly hate women? This is so cruel.

@ScenicWanders

3 жыл бұрын

They just only think of themselves, their wants, needs, desires. They are needy and want attention. But are emotionally unavailable once you are hooked.

@victoriamarie35

3 жыл бұрын

My ex was diagnosed as both a Covert Narcissist and a misogynist! Most have MAJOR mom issues.

@rastafar3899

3 жыл бұрын

Narcs are women too

@ra.h.8840

2 жыл бұрын

They have zero empathy.

@haltersweb

9 ай бұрын

I’m guessing a self-aware narcissist doesn’t hate just like he/she doesn’t love, the same way one doesn’t hate or love a microwave oven. As long as the microwave oven works it remains, once it stops working it is discarded. But as HG mentioned the lesser or mid-range narcissist is not self-aware and thinks what they feel is hate and love. But what the unaware narcissist mistakes for “love” (read “need”) is the feeing of being adored, attended to, and of controlling someone. And they “hate” the loss of someone’s adoration, attention, and loss of control over that person. They misdirect these feelings onto the “microwave”.

And we will get better

It's called getting to know me

What happeneds if you get caught and now you have to be with the affair ?

Datum! I think I'll stay single!

@amandawilkinsontarot7096

2 жыл бұрын

Me too

Basically living to whomever..a true piece .tsk..I'm so glad the side chick showed her ass. He wasn't expecting it! Ty, I'm finally done with it all..I'm good!

Because if you are cheating I'll leave if we are not happy

HG your voice sounds like a Taurus. Or Scorpio cusper?🤔

Genius! This should be played in therapy sessions- all affairs and bad marriages would end up sooner with this brilliant, harsh insight

And men like the chase

And good tell her i said hi

Geez what a guy 🙄

ronald leduc and olga from ukraine-oh well thank god i only stayed 6 months he blocked my grandma s number from sept-iles thank god for citibank mastercard i had from champlain regional college, but honestly i only used u like i do with everybody

See communication

narcissists are like a game of minesweeper tbh

Ashley to Ian Wynn....heh heh

And u are attracted to the chase

Because he doesn't have a home

🙏🏼

I wish I had a phone that he didn’t want me to have one I wish I had heard these videos years ago I would have hit the road instead of giving him the best years of my life and love now I know but did it have to be with a family member 👿🤥🤮💯

Women don't call infidelity cheating whike they are cheating.

And I hate liers I don't lie

And he needs to stay with her

And ask for ur deamon tell him to start respecting me

I have no idea what that is but she is not me

Anyways he has never been able to be loyal