My wife cheated on me quite prolifically, after I discovered her affairs through a private investigator. Her mother told me she always refused psychological happiness and recommended to me that I "choose happiness" instead of her daughter. I took her advice and raised the kids. She's since been with a couple of fellows and living with one of them. One thing that strikes me and I was wondering if anyone had a viewpoint on this: Formerly a model, my wife took everything she could in the home before the divorce was finalized, but she left her huge modeling portfolio that she was clearly very proud about. Never has she asked for it since. Huh???? Seems very odd. Her dad by the way was a big cheater, and probably why my ex mother in law took turned her out and has been so supportive of me.

@cmockingjay7265

11 ай бұрын

That is strange she would leave something so valuable of herself. Maybe that was her way of punishing herself for cheating?

@elimarc3891

11 ай бұрын

She had a copy and wanted u to want her and left it as a delusional reminder of what u lost?

Love your content Doc! Keep educating the ones in need, we need it 💯 🙏🏾

They more emotionally cheat to gain more backup supply, but not as much physical cheating bc they think it's "cheap" or "low class" and "out of control"

@haleygray6443

11 ай бұрын

Well, they are right about that.

@taneyat6_33

11 ай бұрын

They're also lazy

@robertvernon789

11 ай бұрын

I can confirm both of those sentiments. About to go through a divorce, right now with one that frequently had online affairs and random flings (really random) AND she is lazy as hell. If you are with someone like this, DO NOT have children with them. This is your FINAL WARNING.

@sashapaulino6249

11 ай бұрын

@@robertvernon789why not?

@robertvernon789

11 ай бұрын

In my experience and based on what the Prof. has been saying: the person with the PD will use the children to anchor you as “supply”. Instead of damaging one person (You), it will damage the children too. I’ve seen my wife tell the kids a half-truth in order to get to me. My girls are worth more than that.

so accurate as always

another WOW! episode - I am saving it, the list at the end - after min 25:00 - a summary of my current life.... 😞 but I'm making escape plans for the near future

I agree.. I have never cheated, too much work for another person.

Hi Dr. Sam, Thank you for amazing insights on the topic. Could you please help me understand -what are the distinguishing characteristics in a person to turn them into people pleasing vs. narcissit from the early childhood abuse?

@samvaknin

11 ай бұрын

Search the channel.

My grandiose ex husband did not cheat, covert ex BF is a serial cheater.

I have to say my husband did not cheat. He was a flirt, but cheating was too much trouble.

If they accuse you of cheating, it's not always projection is it

@samvaknin

11 ай бұрын

Not always, no.

@tdesq.2463

11 ай бұрын

​@@winning3329If they cite reasons that, if in their shoes, you would have to admit raise serious questions, then you need to address them. Could be a misunderstanding, but if it's got a rational basis to it, you can't sit quiet. Silence in that situation could most likely be fatal. You've got to speak up there. If, on the other hand, there's no rational basis whatsoever for suspicion, then that's a flag of possible projection, and you need to start paying some extra attention. Hope that helps. ~TD, Boston

The previous generations had this correct.

Example I don’t have NPD (therapist approved) but an enormous (!!!) god complex. I never heard of one like that. Regarding fidelity: From age 22-25 I didn’t have any sexual encounters even though I am a very attractive young woman. Why didn’t I have sex? I didn’t talk to anyone outside of work and university for at least two years and even more. Why? The same reason why I didn’t have sex. Since age 21 - the time when my god complex really peaked - I didn’t want to spend time with "inferior" people because I thought they could contaminate me with their undesirable qualities and weakness. And in my mind almost everyone was inferior, mediocre, not worthy. Talking to them is something I could do in a professional setting. I was still disgusted by it. Touching them would have been very unappealing. Exchanging bodily fluids would have been unbearable! In my mind i was god, had all divine qualities, a messiah, blessed with absolute superiority in all the relevant areas. The others in contrast were animals, earth-bound, dying, irrelevant and ultimately illusionary creatures whom I created. They are like shadows, like worms or insects, they don’t really live and don’t have agency. They would never understand me, be like me and sex with them would be totally degrading for me, blasphemic even, an insult, violence. The god complex is fully developed since age 17 but it changed shape since then several times. After 6 years of psychotherapy I still have it - I just see it as my personality - actually it gets more intense with time - but now I am very much able and willing to interact with people. I also have a partner now and he is truly a blessing. I am a quite weird person - very very attractive, highly educated and intelligent, but very superior and narcissistic - but he really is my better half. He understands me and loves my god complex. He is somewhat a link to other people for me. In a way I depend on him to serve me and explain others to me and me to them. He handles me and my psyche so well. Therefore: In my specific case I am rather disgusted by most people on a physical level and my sexuality is holy. Even if I would be single I wouldn’t have sex with people just because of my perceptions of energy and contamination. Also I would never cheat on my partner since we have a wonderful relationship and I don’t have a family. He is the closest relationship I ever had (outside of psychotherapy), my man, my father, my son, my soul mate. Cheating on him would totally devalue my personality, which in my view is of the highest quality existence can bring about. Totally not possible.

@tdesq.2463

11 ай бұрын

This may meet with some serious skepticism, but it sounds to me that Your partner has got to be the most awesome Man in the World ... and the luckiest. I mean that sincerely. Best to You Both!!! ~TD, Boston

@La_anaconda

11 ай бұрын

@@tdesq.2463 He is very awesome indeed! And he would agree on being the luckiest man in the world. Thank you for your lovely comment. It is nice to hear that you appreciate our connection.

@tdesq.2463

11 ай бұрын

@@La_anaconda 👍 Never read anything like that before. I liked it. I liked it much. Best to You and the Lucky Man. I bet He sleeps like a baby, ... because He doesn't have to worry about You being weak and doing stupid sh*t. Stay cool & above the fray! ~TD, Boston PS: Open message to anyone who may consider trying to get between this Young Woman and her Man: Don't. Just ... don't.

Hi Sam How can one break away from the intermittent reinforcement from a malignant covert narcissist when you feel like you're trapped out of reality

@samvaknin

11 ай бұрын

Watch the videos in my recovery and healing playlist.

Love from New York doc I’ve been watching almost everyone one of your videos and everything you say is so tapped in with something and i hate too keep saying this but. Do certain people already see the logic in this stuff doc? It’s amazing how dumb I can be and blind to certain q’s but i can deff understand what’re saying in everyway it’s almost a ego boost like”are you talkin about me doc” “im not sure if im a narc but ppl have been calling me that there’s just been too many feelings of ..idk what it is doc but I’ve been feeling very weird inside”..I’ve beeen keeping track of my mental for a while and I can’t figure out if it’s them or me.. But doc I feel lost in translation but at the same time I’m watching videos like yours agreeing with you and having a understanding of what you’re saying it’s scary..but sometimes i feel greatly about myself and my intelligence ..very questionable lifestyle ,i question myself most times but i get by so idc but lately ..i can see the spread of narcissism growing strong and before all of this stuff ive been watching. I had and have a deep rooted hatred for my mother I currently live with it’s so much too explain but all I have to say is that she’s definitely took a toll on me I think she’s rubbed off completely on me to which I have psychosis and narc tendencies as well but it’s been getting insanely hard to cope . For everyone leaves The major population definitely cheats more then narcs If I’m taking accountability I feel like maybe if I’m being honest was the infidelity reactive?? I always make my partners cheat or want to cheat inevitably Lmaooo

@svddonny5335

3 ай бұрын

I’m high at the moment I’ll make better sense when I’m a little sober

Well... I guess I'm doom, cause I'm well over 9 partners ....Even so far, I have not cheated in previous relationships. Is also true that they were pseudo relationships that didn't last longer than 1 year

Is it true that victims feel like they have a richer fuller identity within the shared fantasy?

@samvaknin

11 ай бұрын

Watch my interview with Diana and Mari.

is promiscuity more prevalent among borderlines because of the self trashing nature and their mood lability?

@samvaknin

11 ай бұрын

Promiscuity is one type of reckless behavior in BPD. But in my view, it is also a form of self-harm. Still, promiscuity has been mainstreamed.

I am a narcissist boy 😂

No ordinary person is good enough or worthy of being a victim.

Carl Jung used to freak Freud out. They were on different levels.