Stop Saying These Things To Someone With Social Anxiety

Social anxiety isn’t a choice, it’s very very real. As someone who struggle with social anxiety I know how terrifying going to a public place can be or having to stand up in front of others to give a presentation.
People often mistake social anxiety with shyness.
Being shy doesn’t prevent you from living your life, social anxiety does.
Being shy doesn’t cause you to avoid situations, places or people, social anxiety does.
Being shy doesn’t stop you from going to the toilet in public places, social anxiety does.
Being shy doesn’t stop you from eating in front of others, social anxiety does.
Social anxiety is not the same as someone who is shy.
Yes people who struggle with social anxiety might be shy but social anxiety is so much more than that.
Over the years of struggling with social anxiety, so many people have said embarrassing, hurtful and mean things to me often in front of others which actually made my social anxiety worse.
Please stop saying the following things to someone with social anxiety, it doesn’t help them at all, it only makes them feel worse and more embarrassed.
Why are you so quiet?
You just need to think positive
Just face your fears you’ll be fine
I know you feel I’m shy too
Let me order the food for you
Why is your face really red
You seem really sweaty today
Why are your hands shaking so much
You just need a drink to loosen up
We all feel this way sometimes
Im sure it’ll be okay
You’re just making it up
I think you’re imagining it
Why are you so dramatic
It’s not that bad come on
Just calm down
Whats the big deal
Others have it much worse than you
It’s all in your head
You’re not trying hard enough
Here we go again
Saying any of those things is not helping someone with social anxiety, it’s only making them feel worse, judged, embarrassed and more anxious, so please if you know someone with social anxiety don’t say them, instead try to be understanding of what they are going through, try to support them as best as you can and try to help them by making them feel welcomed and comfortable.
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Пікірлер: 54

  • @AuthenticMentalHealth
    @AuthenticMentalHealth3 жыл бұрын

    Hello Authentic Mental Health Community. Do you have social anxiety? Has anyone said any of these things to you before? How did it make you feel? If you need help with your social anxiety or mental health you can get help by visiting our sponsor here - betterhelp.com/authenticmentalhealth

  • @claudimarlambo6129

    @claudimarlambo6129

    3 жыл бұрын

    Wait theres a community about mental health?

  • @AuthenticMentalHealth

    @AuthenticMentalHealth

    3 жыл бұрын

    Yes? Our community my friend

  • @claudimarlambo6129

    @claudimarlambo6129

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@AuthenticMentalHealth can i join mental health as in support it not have a illness soo can i?

  • @AuthenticMentalHealth

    @AuthenticMentalHealth

    3 жыл бұрын

    You're already part of the community my friend!

  • @claudimarlambo6129

    @claudimarlambo6129

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@AuthenticMentalHealth ok but what rituals to do or theres not

  • @j.d.1506
    @j.d.15063 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for talking about this. This has been a lifelong issue for me as well. Some days are better than others, and other days are a bit of a struggle. But I do my best.

  • @AuthenticMentalHealth

    @AuthenticMentalHealth

    3 жыл бұрын

    Nothing to thank, how are you today? That's all any of us can do is try our best!

  • @itsmimizim7672
    @itsmimizim76723 жыл бұрын

    I agree with the description. My friend thinks im shy but in reality, i have anxiety :/

  • @AuthenticMentalHealth

    @AuthenticMentalHealth

    3 жыл бұрын

    SO many people confused social anxiety with shyness, that's why I had to make this video! How are you?

  • @itsmimizim7672

    @itsmimizim7672

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@AuthenticMentalHealth not really fine.. one week my anxiety bumps in and another week my depression bumps in. Online school and classes usually triggers my anxiety but i can’t avoid it or else i get scolded.😥😓

  • @itsmimizim7672

    @itsmimizim7672

    3 жыл бұрын

    But i dont want help cuz i don’t want anyone who saw me or know me in real life to know about this.

  • @helvetica3666
    @helvetica36663 жыл бұрын

    1) Why are you so quiet for? 2) You need to just suck it up 3) Just face your fears 4) You'll be fine 5) I know how you feel 6) I'm shy too 7) Let me order food for you 8) Why is your face really red? 9) You seem really sweaty today 10) Are you ok? 11) Why are your hands shaking so much? 12) Why don't you go and get a drink, that'll loosen you up 13) We all feel this way sometimes 14) I'm sure it'll be okay 15) You just making it up 16) Why are you so dramatic? 17) It's not that bad 18) Come on 19) Just calm down 20) What's the big deal? 21) Others have it much worse than you do 22) It's all in your head 23) You're just not trying hard enough 24) Here we go again *I been hurt by these words so much except for 7... My mum just think I'm too timid and force me to speak up sometimes and one of my friends just said that I'm too shy and not trying enough and most of my friends just say they're same with me... Maybe at the front, I kinda really just like act shy and I will familiar quick and be the one who in charge to make everyone to be friends with each other, but they don't know that I can't breathe inside and actually I'm just forcing myself to be like that... Because I want to be normal... I said I have social anxiety, but they just say 'Just try' and 'You just shy, come on' or 'There's no way you have social anxiety'

  • @Loki_the_trickster

    @Loki_the_trickster

    3 жыл бұрын

    Talk….

  • @Loki_the_trickster

    @Loki_the_trickster

    3 жыл бұрын

    👀

  • @helvetica3666

    @helvetica3666

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@Loki_the_trickster ?

  • @Loki_the_trickster

    @Loki_the_trickster

    3 жыл бұрын

    Nvm

  • @AuthenticMentalHealth

    @AuthenticMentalHealth

    3 жыл бұрын

    Thank you so much for sharing this, number 7 is really bad for me because I hate ordering food in a restaurant, I get so embarrassed and anxious, some people don't understand social anxiety do they? It's so hurtful when people say these things to someone who struggles with social anxiety! How are you today?

  • @BakedPotato13
    @BakedPotato133 жыл бұрын

    How about "You need to get out more" Can't tell you how many times I've heard that.

  • @AuthenticMentalHealth

    @AuthenticMentalHealth

    3 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for sharing my friend! I can't believe I forgot that one, how are you today my friend?

  • @nikkimckay860

    @nikkimckay860

    3 жыл бұрын

    Baked potato0630. I like your comment and I understand and I agree because iv had someone say you need to get out more so many times so meany people say things they shouldn't say take care

  • @BakedPotato13

    @BakedPotato13

    3 жыл бұрын

    I'm doing well overall. Been a few rough patches, but I'm working through it. 😎

  • @AuthenticMentalHealth

    @AuthenticMentalHealth

    3 жыл бұрын

    SO many times! How are you?

  • @AuthenticMentalHealth

    @AuthenticMentalHealth

    3 жыл бұрын

    You're not alone my friend!

  • @lywins07
    @lywins073 жыл бұрын

    Thank you that your talking about it. I have social anxiety and I hear the sentences a lot, in school ,at home and somewhere else, the first who really respect it was my English teacher I asked him if I could give him instand of a talk in front of the class a text he said that this is ok and we will find a way, he was nice and I am really grateful for that. But my parents and other people always are like you just have to do it (and all the sentences you said).

  • @AuthenticMentalHealth

    @AuthenticMentalHealth

    3 жыл бұрын

    You have nothing to thank, I'm glad your english teachers helps you, we all need someone who understands and supports us! how are you today?

  • @Sira77777
    @Sira777774 ай бұрын

    I have problems with more anxiety around men. I won't get into why because it's upsetting, and won't change the past. If men ask for my number I usually feel uncomfortable, and question their motives. I don't usually share my number with people anymore, and I feel uncomfortable if a man shows interest in me; I wonder if the motive is impure. I'll probably be a spinster, but I'm actually not so upset about that possibility since I have anxiety about marriage, and getting close to anyone. I feel more comfortable over-all around plants and animals/insects. It's upsetting for me when people have acted surprised that I'm not married (or in a committed relationship with a man), or assume I am in a romantic relationship (when I never once was close to a man), or when people have made negative comments about my being single as though it's a crime to not marry and have 8 children. I think more people should choose to adopt, and that people who are not able to care for children properly should be celibate so they don't have children they abuse, and continue a cycle of trauma, abuse, and mental illness. My parents were abused, have mental illnesses, and passed the mind-sickness to me when they abused me. I have 0 children- I have 1 plant. I used to have birds/budgies. Well, I rambled a lot. That's unfortunate when people said those rude comments to you about your social anxiety. I hope you have moral/emotional support in your life. Well, bye.

  • @Loki_the_trickster
    @Loki_the_trickster3 жыл бұрын

    My mom always says that it’s my fault

  • @AuthenticMentalHealth

    @AuthenticMentalHealth

    3 жыл бұрын

    It's NOT your fault!

  • @levidavis7011
    @levidavis701119 күн бұрын

    This video helped me out with a lot of questions I had

  • @nikkimckay860
    @nikkimckay8603 жыл бұрын

    Authentic Mental health thank you for sharing this new video about things people shouldn't say to someone who has social anxiety very helpful and I could understand and completely reate to everything you said Sept number 7 but everything else had been said to me throughout my 2 and a half years s with social anxiety all these things people say make you feel worse and your anxiety worse I know people don't know what they are saying is wrong unless you tell them you have social anxiety but even then iv had people still say these things your video s are really informative and important take care Charlie

  • @AuthenticMentalHealth

    @AuthenticMentalHealth

    3 жыл бұрын

    Nothing to thank my friend! How are you today?

  • @nikkimckay860

    @nikkimckay860

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@AuthenticMentalHealth hello just dropping a comment back its always good because you reply to everyone most health videos I watch and write to them they don't reply back how have I been doing sadly stressed out and struggling with my anxiety more recently than usual and more depressed but I am going though a very bad and rough time in my life right now due to a personal situation so I understand why my anxiety has got worse lately I just still keep trying to be strong I am glad I'm part of this community I'll be checking more of your helpful video s out echo time I see one take care

  • @DashieDe
    @DashieDe Жыл бұрын

    "Are you okay?" *sad smile Oh yeah, this is what some strangers sometimes ask me when I'm serious or nervous. Nobody asks me if I'm okay when I'm actually not okay

  • @reaper-ev1ll
    @reaper-ev1ll11 ай бұрын

    It's getting worse and worse everyday for me

  • @chris7285
    @chris72857 ай бұрын

    I hate how my mom thinks my hesitance to get a job is laziness. I hate how she thinks I love to drink alcohol just for the sake of drinking. I can work 12-17 hours straight on my own. It’s not the work that I’m afraid of, it’s the people.

  • @ItachiUchiha-ey7wz
    @ItachiUchiha-ey7wz3 жыл бұрын

    This is true.

  • @AuthenticMentalHealth

    @AuthenticMentalHealth

    3 жыл бұрын

    Hey, how are you today?

  • @Sira77777
    @Sira777774 ай бұрын

    I don't know everyone's situation, but in my case I experienced trauma from child-abuse and bullying I endured. I do currently go twice a month for therapy, and I hope to improve. I believe in God and Jesus and His Holy Spirit, and for me, these beliefs I have give me hope and courage to keep trying harder. I used to binge-drink and cut my left arm mainly (more in my 20's- I'm 36 now), but God/His Holy Trinity helped me to get that under control. I used to be more mentally unstable, in denial, and immature. I still have phobias and obsessive compulsive disorder I want to work on decreasing. I'm an introvert so that makes it trickier for me to work on the social anxiety. I will keep at it with the help of God. Thank you for sharing, and I appreciate how you emphasize that social anxiety is not a choice. I've met others with the struggle, who understand the way it affects/impacts a person's life. It can be stressful, and reduce a quality of life. I will hope in Jesus. : ) Well, I hope everyone will keep on fighting for a healthier mind, body and soul- emotions and spirit.

  • @Dogstuber
    @Dogstuber7 ай бұрын

    I don't live in england or usa or smth so they won't say stuff like that to me maybe in my language but even if no doctors said that I have social anxiety (I think I do) the teachers still let me sit on my place it's so hard to do an presentation especially holding one in front of the whole class is the worst thing for me I always run to my mom every single day as soon as I find out that I have to give a presentation, of course my mom doesn't understand the seriousness of the matter and she doesn't want to go to the doctor with me, that's why it's always just said that there is no reason to worry and I should calm down Every day, as soon as it's presentation stress, no matter what, anything happens, always every single day ✔️ Panic like there's no tomorrow ✔️ Getting tremors like what knows Getting tremors like what do I know ✔️ Not being able to sleep ✔️ If you fall asleep after 10 years, you get nightmares ✔️ Getting suicidal thoughts that you don't have to give a presentation ✔️ Then ask an girlfriend what you can do to avoid a presentation ✔️ Because teachers ask if you can skip the presentation ✔️ That was the things where I do before the presentation (weeks before it happen) Things that happen just before the presentation: Get a panic attack ✔️ Begging every person not to have to do one ✔️ Tremors all over the body ✔️ To cry all night To cry all night long ✔️ Not being able to move some parts of my body like right now I can't turn my head for some Not being able to move some parts of my body like right now for some reason ✔️ A thousand more times asking my mom if she can write me off sick ✔️ On the day of the presentation: At the morning right before the presentation: Asking my mom if she can write me off sick✔️ all morning being mad at my mom because she didn't wrote me sick ✔️ Getting some kind of heart problems, can't move/talk, can't turn around ✔️ 10 minutes before the presentation: Hide under the table ✔️ Stand in the corner and look at the wall and then I say, "I'm not here" ✔️ Most of the time the teachers take it as funny, but actually it's just another attempt for me to escape ;-; In any case, I've only written about things I do because of a presentation, because it's just my biggest enemy but anyway I do can relate to the video except the thing with the food So I mean, I eat and drink outside during the break or when I'm going somewhere with my family. But I can't be the center of attention myself. Sometimes I even get kind of trembling fits or just that it vibrates in my whole body or sometimes like groping. But I never go to public toilets myself, except for a 10 hour car ride, but only when I'm alone :) So as info I don't know if I have social anxiety but I just wrote now how it is with me and if someone writes I should go to the doctor or what do I know, I won't go there because my mom doesn't want / will do it and I'm 14 from there I don't really have anything to say about it. Thanks for your time to read it anyway

  • @Howard25
    @Howard252 жыл бұрын

    The day it got worse was getting jumped by a kid at the water park and got sprayed in the face man if I brought my super soaker

  • @carolineheler4323
    @carolineheler43235 ай бұрын

    i reconise the symptoms in me 😅

  • @Loki_the_trickster
    @Loki_the_trickster3 жыл бұрын

    I like to make jokes in comment sections. But I shouldn’t make a joke in a video that helps me

  • @AuthenticMentalHealth

    @AuthenticMentalHealth

    3 жыл бұрын

    I'm glad this video helps you my friend, how are you?

  • @madavaramb8952
    @madavaramb8952 Жыл бұрын

    Why you are not putting videos

  • @PeacefulYo
    @PeacefulYo6 ай бұрын

    No more uploads?

  • @krisgordon8199
    @krisgordon81992 жыл бұрын

    These are the videos I like to see. Not the shorts. When are you going to make an actual new video,instead of making new videos of your old ones? I have love for this channel,but not for where it's turning too. I found your channel when I was in the worst spot of my life,and I always looked forward to your new videos,the energy you gave was hope and love. Idk,I miss the old channel.

  • @The.Mentalist
    @The.Mentalist3 жыл бұрын

    Ok you guys seem to have some next level problems. I am just a bit shy. But I can't relate why you think you can change nothing about it. I believe everything can be changed. You can lose a fear by doing little steps and realising that nothing bad happens.

  • @emycharaa

    @emycharaa

    11 ай бұрын

    It's much more than that.

  • @bsn2bguevarradanyaantonett149
    @bsn2bguevarradanyaantonett1492 жыл бұрын

    :((((((((((