Saw him in a small bar in NYC in late afternoon. Walked over to him, said "Hi, I love your work". He said "Thanks" and at that instant, his meal came. I graciously left him so he could eat, but that may STILL be my most favorite conversation of all time.

@SuperSawyerg

Жыл бұрын

your comment is priceless !!!!!

@imnnme

Жыл бұрын

Just watched him on Joe Rogan Experience #1985. What a centered cerebral funny creative dude. Love his style.

@McMillanScottish

Жыл бұрын

One word out of Steven Wright goes a long way.

@michaelslater6839

Жыл бұрын

I walked up to Steve, and I said “I’m a man of few words” and he said, “Really? Me…”

@eNigma011

Жыл бұрын

How were you able to walk into a "small bar"? Thought you'd have to crawl into them.

"I intend to live forever. So far, so good."

"I went to a general store, but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific." "I bought some batteries, but they weren't included...so I had to buy them again." Steven Wright

"sponges grow in the ocean, that kills me. i wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didnt happen?" pure gold

@stevew278

7 жыл бұрын

wouldn't be any deeper, the water was still there it was just inside a sponge and the sponge was inside the ocean - mind blown

@megadopolisthemagnificent.7936

7 жыл бұрын

me too. ruptured a lung. it was my favorite one, too.

@jimpatton8735

7 жыл бұрын

Jake Tully c

@patricialevy13

7 жыл бұрын

Jake Tully indeed !

7 жыл бұрын

Its gold, Jerry, pure comedic gold.

He found his perfect groove and never left it. Amazing longevity and creativity.

@gregvance1136

3 жыл бұрын

What IS he doing nowadays?

@poetcomic1

3 жыл бұрын

@@gregvance1136 His website has tickets for sale this fall 2021 in Scottsdale AZ, Florida etc.

@gregvance1136

3 жыл бұрын

@@poetcomic1 ok k. Great. Thank you.

@SamP0rterBridges

2 жыл бұрын

@@gregvance1136 he just had a show in reno

"Whenever somebody on the street asks me what time it is, I say 'Sorry, I'm not from around here.'"

@bassash

4 жыл бұрын

"somebody once asked me if I have the time. I said yes but not right now"

One of the most amazing comedians of all-time....

@ 2:17 "There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot."

@Teltelteltelaja

2 ай бұрын

The line is the fishing rod's string

"I had a very unexciting childhood.My high school colors wear clear," Flat out comedic genius.

@Magnum-bh5no

2 жыл бұрын

* were

@rudolphguarnacci197

Жыл бұрын

@@Magnum-bh5no You're fun at parties.

@Claego

Жыл бұрын

​@@rudolphguarnacci197 the joke literally didn't land because of the spelling error go eat glass

@rudolphguarnacci197

Жыл бұрын

@@Claego Thanks. I will. And enjoy it.

@rudolphguarnacci197

Жыл бұрын

@@Claego Oh, sorry, i wasn't even talking to you. Why the glass?

I love Steven Wright so much! His dry delivery just accents these jokes perfectly!

"If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?" I don't know if that audience is dense or what, but that joke fucking slayed me.

@AlexZander688

3 жыл бұрын

The crowd was miming their laughs.

@brianthescarecrow9099

3 жыл бұрын

Same! They just missed it!

@gregvance1136

3 жыл бұрын

@@AlexZander688 hahahajJJHahahaha.... Miming their laughter. I'm sure even Stephen Wright would appreciate that one.

@randymillhouse791

3 жыл бұрын

The audience is that dense.

@sheilamacdougal4874

2 жыл бұрын

Maybe you're dense. It's not actually funny.

A friend of mine has a trophy wife but apparently it wasn't first place.

@faith.s_mom

4 ай бұрын

💯❤

"I replaced the headlights on my car with strobe lights. Now when I drive at night it looks like I'm the only one moving." Steven Wright

@orphanoforbit7588

3 жыл бұрын

😂🤣

He's the most original comedian ever. I saw his first-ever appearance on Johnny Carson and was stunned at the depth of the jokes. Really, he's one of the all time greats.

I once saw a sign that said "Wet Floor", so I did.

The most under appreciated comedy genius ever.

@Mario_N64

3 жыл бұрын

Well, he did win an Academy Award.

@orphanoforbit7588

3 жыл бұрын

Why is that all anyone knows how to say anymore...?

@randonceccoli8428

3 жыл бұрын

If that were true you wouldn't know who he is

@murker1879

3 жыл бұрын

Fuk ppl who leave these comments

@user-iv7cw8vx7l

2 жыл бұрын

Fa sho

Generally comics avoid telling straight up "jokes" but this guy does it so well

@keithulhul7540

6 жыл бұрын

This was a different era.

@Katya_Lastochka

6 жыл бұрын

John Huffington Toughen up.

@greglambert6493

6 жыл бұрын

John, if you don't think he is funny there is something seriously wrong with you. He is one of the best comedians of all time.

@dreambeliever5150

6 жыл бұрын

Greg Lambert He is.so is george carlin and bill hicks.. They are beauty in their profession. Bill hicks is still my top.

@erainmartinez8175

Жыл бұрын

I have known him The Swan Princess playing a Turtle name Speedy

A light in my room went out. I wonder where it is now.

@ExclusiveLM

8 жыл бұрын

+ReubenRabinowitz ............ Why don't you ever see Puerto Ricans on Star Trek............ because they are not going to work in the future either. Fat women wear a sheep as a tampon. Thank you very much. -- Steven Wright.

@agiar2000

6 жыл бұрын

There's a light switch that doesn't do anything in my house. I kept flipping it off and on, until one day I got a letter from a lady in Germany saying "quit it."

I went for a walk last night she said how long are you going to be gone. I said, " The whole time. "

One of the best comedians ever in my opinion

@mikerainwater6154

3 жыл бұрын

James ur a BADASS

@antarcticorb9197

3 жыл бұрын

He was in my class at Emerson College..used to cut up the class all the time... 😆

One of his best liners, " right now I am having amnesia & de javu at the same time ".

@codybluetarp

3 жыл бұрын

Being In the Moment = Forgetful Remembrance.

@mackenzieusher8025

3 жыл бұрын

déjà vu just fyi

@realPenrodPooch

2 ай бұрын

I have a weird feeling that I've forgotten that joke before.

@jspatz1

Ай бұрын

I thought I had de javu, but it turns out I just do the exact same thing every day.

a priest, a rabbi, and a reverend walk into a bar.....the bartender looks up puzzled and says, "So what's this, a joke?" har-har we need more Steven Wrights on planet earth...maybe we would change from flat and become round again..

He is brilliant. My favorite comedian of all time! My sister and I wore out our bootlegged VHS tape that we had of him in the early '90's. Even now when we see each other, we have to recite at least half of his act.

I went to see the ballet. All the dancers were standing on tiptoe. I said, "why don't they just get taller dancers?"

@YoutubeUser-nd8qv

5 жыл бұрын

you should stick to your dayjob

@brendan3174

4 жыл бұрын

LOLOL!!

@vhandarsh51

4 жыл бұрын

Nice. 😂😂

@lauras3612

3 жыл бұрын

LOL! I don't know how Stephen just keeps coming up with these so easily.

@tradewins

3 жыл бұрын

@@lauras3612 Who says it's easy?

It makes me happy to see a Steven Wright video with this many views.

'Whenever I think about the past it just brings back so many memories' its so brilliantly out of context, superb comedian.

@richarquis

2 жыл бұрын

I can't wait to live in the moment!

"I stayed up last night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died."

It's a small world but I wouldn't want to paint it. Pure genius

I love how he generalizes an abstract concept to create humor: “some people are afraid of heights - I’m afraid of widths”. Also: “I was doing 100 miles an hour and a cop pulled me over. He said, ‘Don’t you know the speed limit is 40 miles per hour?’ I said, ‘Yeah, but I wasn’t going to be out that long’ “

@DavidSmith-ef4eh

2 жыл бұрын

Stupid joke. That wouldn't be a "speed limit" but a "distance limit"...

@rudolphguarnacci197

Жыл бұрын

@@DavidSmith-ef4eh He's not as witty as you.

@standardofexcellence

Жыл бұрын

What i do everytime I'm pulled over from now on

@bikersoncall

Жыл бұрын

@@DavidSmith-ef4eh If someone texted you saying to get home quick your house was on fireh, you'd correct their spelling and also say you live in a trailer not a house, hang up and ignore the call.

@DavidSmith-ef4eh

Жыл бұрын

@@bikersoncall It was supposed to be sarcasm mixed with cynicism and funny in a way where I portray myself as someone who is supposedly smart, but doesn"t understand a simple joke..

Thiis guy is one of the few American stand up comedians that can make me laugh out loud, the man's a legend !

@texastinman7639

3 жыл бұрын

He’s Canadian

@NickB1313

3 жыл бұрын

@@texastinman7639 He's from Massachusetts. Unless you're thinking of his role in Canadian Bacon.

@Marc-io8qm

3 жыл бұрын

Try Mitch Hedberg

@BirdwellingtonAmalgamation

2 жыл бұрын

@@Marc-io8qm came to say the same thing.

@andycraddock7677

2 жыл бұрын

@adrieneposta: 10 years later he’s STILL a comic genius!

Why did hardly anyone laugh at the mime joke? That was one of the best ones.

@cb2308

7 жыл бұрын

IKR? I thought that was hilarious.

@tdylan

7 жыл бұрын

I think they couldn't make out what was said. I had to rewind to figure it out.

@agiar2000

6 жыл бұрын

5:12 for reference.

@RIXRADvidz

4 жыл бұрын

the best response to that is , ''they were laughing in mime''. can't stop giggling

@dyzway

3 жыл бұрын

I think it was too quick for them. I liked it.

Saw Steve perform at the Dominion Theatre on Tottenham Court Road in London around 1996

The master at his best....no one even comes close to this guy!!!

The verbal equivalent of Larsen's "The Far Side".

@PinkiePyro2011

7 жыл бұрын

Richard Kajander single panel :: single line

@tonydess3992

4 жыл бұрын

pretty much sir lol

@LeskoBrandon2x

4 жыл бұрын

Ahh man I forgot about the far side

@chado3000

4 жыл бұрын

Damn i miss that cartoon..

@marcelwilliamson7384

3 жыл бұрын

I always thought the same thing

This guy is pretty good. I like the no nonsense approach. 7 mins straight or just jokes, dassit, no filler, I respect it.

Steven Wright once said...."If god took acid, would he see people?" LOL

@Poultrypoundcake

3 жыл бұрын

That's super important

@BlueVooch

3 жыл бұрын

@Barbara Guest WTF?

@cracker7836

3 жыл бұрын

@@BlueVooch I was just about to type the same thing.

@EllieLindhorst

3 жыл бұрын

Dude god is people and we are in control and not in control, the trick is how

@debraguess3541

2 жыл бұрын

@@BlueVooch nu by h6 by dgg

this guy is a GENIUS

@jerryanstey7058

7 жыл бұрын

WHAT IS A GENI US ?

I'm not afraid of heights. I'm afraid of widths.

@Cashcrop54

3 жыл бұрын

I saw that line used in an episode of Be Cool Scooby Doo called “Mystery 101”. The episode was released in 2015 so it would seem someone saw Steven but I didn’t see any credit for it.

@seanfrank32

15 күн бұрын

I love that line. 😂😂😂

2:16 - I love this one. It's so clever. At first, it's funny "just because" of the mental picture. Then you connect the "thin line" bit, and you laugh again. You can actually hear the audience do it.

@spacehos

7 ай бұрын

Wow the literal pun went over my head, thanks!

I was at this show. He, was my favourite act of the night. Could easily have halved the other acts and let Steven do an hour.

My grandma called me over and said "Here's five dollars- don't tell your mom I'm giving this to you" I said "It'll cost you more than that:

@ExclusiveLM

8 жыл бұрын

+lot24 .............. She ended up re-financing her home just to keep me quiet. Sincerely, Steven W.

Have to admit, to my shame, that I had not heard of this guy until tonight. Watching a BBC comedy documentary and his name came up. This guy is genius. One of the best ever. Remember the line about a friend of his who had false teeth with braces! Or who had side burns behind his ears! It just creased me!!🤣🤣🤣😋

My ears really enjoyed the surround sound!

This guy is trying so hard not to laugh at his own jokes, and he does a great job at it..its his character, for that i respect him..love you STEVE!

@joseadriansaez5494

6 жыл бұрын

Steven

@wesleyalan9179

3 жыл бұрын

@@joseadriansaez5494 lol..why would you feel the need to correct the guy for saying Steve for? ...just weird (That Comment was 3years old when you corrected it. Now its 6years old.. 3years later after YOUR comment, i talk shit too you...we need lives)

The Best! Steven kills! Not on this one, but one of my favorites is, "Every once in a while, I lean out my window, look in the sky and just wave. In case anyone's taking a satellite photo."

I always love when he cracks a smile every now and then when one of his jokes goes over the audiences head.

I love, how it takes a few seconds for the joke to work and laughter gradually increases. LoL

The "sponges growing in the ocean" joke broke me. I've been a Steven Wright fan for years. I miss the hey days of his, Mitch Hedberg's (RIP), Jerry Seinfeld's, Rodney Dangerfield's, Jack Benny's, et. al. The days of true comic wit, sans vulgar language and innuendo are over.

His comedy is deep and stupid at the same time, definitely one of my favorites

You could make an argument that Steven Wright is the most original comic ever. Several of his one-liners could be considered as funny and as original as they get. For instance: * I had some instant water but didn't know what to add. * Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. * Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims? * If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? Some people who are not into his humor (the same people who think Monty Python isn't funny) assume this is just the work of a "stoner." Really, who else thinks of jokes like these? Like Steve Martin, the guy has been brilliant for decades.

@phishfearme2

9 жыл бұрын

Corey Bayless great examples - my favorite is his dog he named "Stay" - as a puppy he liked to confuse it - "come here, Stay"

@sjnagele

8 жыл бұрын

+Crashburn 32 *it's a small world but i wouldn't want to paint it

@mrteddystamp

8 жыл бұрын

+Crashburn 32 I prefer to listen to him tell them instead of someone posting them under a video of him telling them

@nyonelove7617

8 жыл бұрын

+Crashburn 32 His one liners destroy other one liner comics like Dangerfield.

@BlankUberEverybody

8 жыл бұрын

+Crashburn 32 from the first time I heard him to hearing him just now I think he is brilliant. What a sense of humor, material and timing. . ..

This guy could single handedly destroy any AI.

'Drove past a shop window the other day with two signs on it: help wanted, self-service. So I went in and hired myself'...

my favorite Steven Wright is,If a mime gets arrested would he have the right to remain sileint

Always one of my fave comedians. This is one of his best performances IMHO. A true original.

Intelligent humour for intelligent people. I love surrealism in all forms - art, music, literature and comedy.

This guy and Mitch Hedburg break my ribs. I have a headache from laughing so hard I can't inhale a breath. If I die it will be worth it.

i had a friend who was a radio announcer, everytime he drove under a bridge, he stopped talking.

@brendan3174

4 жыл бұрын

LOL!!

@anonygent

3 жыл бұрын

*AM radio

One time I put instant coffee in the microwave. I almost went back in time.

"whenever I think about the past, it brings up so many memories"

There will never ever be someone as original as this chap. He makes me chuckle.

The "shoot a mime" joke was hilarious............ I guess these people had either heard the joke before.................or they didn't get it.

@ExclusiveLM

8 жыл бұрын

+Buford Pusser ............. A blind comedian's worse nightmare is performing on front of a group of mimes.

@mauivu6307

7 жыл бұрын

follow it with, "Only if you shoot him in a library."

@nomadpi1

7 жыл бұрын

He recycles his jokes - expecting a newer group (generation). I've heard some of them several times thru the years.

@verve92

7 жыл бұрын

"I used to be a translator for bad mimes."

@VrNghtOwl

7 жыл бұрын

Buford Pusser one I thought of when I heard that. If a deaf person watches a mine does he know what he's saying?

"I used to work at a factory that made fire hydrants. You couldn't park anywhere near the place."

I always love how he was hitchhiking and a hearse stopped and he told the guy he wasn't going that far

i like how he never smiles...just keeps a straight face....its halarious this guy is so funny

Love this guy. The unscented perfume reminded me of my mother choosing the soap in the bubblebath at the amusement park.. She told me later, she had pressed "none" -- thinking it was a soap. :)

That mime joke laid an egg with this audience. He was surprised; you can tell.

@j7286

8 жыл бұрын

+Anthony Scarlata I think he said the line too fast, and the word mime got muffled. I've heard it before, but it still took me a second.

@shawntco

8 жыл бұрын

+Anthony Scarlata Indeed. The way he moved himself at 5:17 was much quicker than his usual movements.

"If you could know how and when you'd die, would you want to know?""No.""Forget it then".

@lucasimmons075

7 жыл бұрын

I don't really understand that joke. Mind explaining it?

@Triton1051

7 жыл бұрын

Luca Simmons+ I will! lol The idea is that the person is asking, 'would you want to know _how_ and _when_ you were going to die? Both are very specific pieces of information; the person asking would probably only know for sure, both *how and when* if they were planning on taking the actions causing the other ones death. This is confirmed by the reply (to the answer "no") _never mind then_ it's like saying, 'OK i won't tell you how (or when) i am planning on killing you'. I think the subtlety of this this joke makes it one of his better ones, hope this helps ^^

@lucasimmons075

7 жыл бұрын

Ok thanks I was thinking that but I wasn't sure if it was just about someone being bewildered that someone wouldn't want to know

@Itemtotem

7 жыл бұрын

rd711 you fucked it up

@bboooobbyy

6 жыл бұрын

The House of Ten Genres: Yes, but the humor is derived from the fact that the question is posed as a _hypothetical_ in the set-up. The punchline (never mind then...) makes you realize that it was not a hypothetical question but something that the questioner was privy to (either from psychic ability or through knowledge of a plot to kill him). The sudden realization that the question was not hypothetical is surprising and thus funny.

I came home and everything had been replaced with an exact duplicate.

Never go see Steven Wright when you're high. I don't know how but, somehow, I'm still there. 😲🤪😶🧐

Put your seatbelt on, I wanna try somethin'.

@sonofnothing

9 жыл бұрын

saenz1379 I saw it in a cartoon, but I'm sure I can do it.

@sjs928

4 жыл бұрын

...How far do you think you're gonna get...? Fell outta my chair...

One of the best comics

"My plans to be spontaneous fell through at the last minute." "I have an inferiority complex, but it's not a very good one."

@markcroydon3195

3 жыл бұрын

I laughed out loud

Paranoid Retriever must be the best two liner I've ever heard.

One of the greatest comics ever. Mitch is his protoge

@jhaz89

2 жыл бұрын

Except mitch was better

"What's another word for thesaurus?" 🤣😄🤪

Maaan lol honestly there were a couple misses but 90% of this had me in tears

Kenny called; he's in jail, he didn't leave a number, sincerely: THE GUY ON THE COUCH.

I LOVE this guy! And am proud to say I own and enjoy watching his "When the Leaves Blow Away" movie. Thanks for posting this. This is an especially fun performance.

One of my favorite comedians ever. He's wicked funny!

Back in Vaudville days this was the only style of comedy there was , one liners . Slowly we moved into more of the storytelling style common today . But for somebody to be able to still do this style so well and for so long is really special.

one liner king!

@amyntut

6 жыл бұрын

and Rodney Dangerfield was.

@bluehelium5780

6 жыл бұрын

It has to be Rodney. He was more relentless and did better at not telling the same jokes.

Recently, I watched this very funny documentary about a paralyzed veteran who was trying to do a stand-up comedy routine.

@thejoyofsoxmovie7211

3 жыл бұрын

There's actually a quadriplegic fellow who does "sit down comedy". Also from Boston, named Will Lautzenheiser. "Did you hear the one about the comedian with no limbs?": kzread.info/dash/bejne/n6Kmz7uoh9SzfLA.html

One of the best ALL TIME... maybe my favorite all time. My girlfiend asked me, "If you could know how, and when you are going to die would you want to?" I said, "No", and she said, "Forget it then."

Love his stuff and his style. Wish I could ever find again his early special that ended with the Chinese blonde girl.

I want to get a life sized tattoo of myself, only bigger.

He is a genius

This is my first time hearing this guy. Just brilliant, I know I know, I’m foreign, well not here I’m not

I personally feel this guy has some of the best deadpan one liners of any comedian out there. He could write on SNLs Jack handy sketch for decades.

I like to fill my tub up with water then turn the shower on and act like I’m in a submarine that’s been hit!! 😂😂

He told the exact same jokes the last time I watched this...

@copernicofelinis

3 жыл бұрын

Stop writing the same comment!

@666xxxful

3 жыл бұрын

It's even better in reverse!

@mikebledsoe2315

3 жыл бұрын

*"Best comment here good one"-👍😂*

@robrob2888

2 жыл бұрын

That is the funniest comment I have ever read.

There should be a documentary on this guy he's so great.

Put on your seatbelt, I wanna try something... that made me crack up laughing

@NC-xk1eg

4 ай бұрын

One of the best...but they're all so good!

I went to the doctor today and told him " I keep feeling like a dog ". He asked " how long has this been going on? ". I replied " since I was a puppy!! ".

@robj144

Жыл бұрын

Whose joke is that?

I live at the end of a one way, dead end street.

The king of hilarious alternate scenario comedy that makes you think and laugh at the same time

Amazing the whole set is as funny today as 30 yrs ago...

I spilled spot remover on my dog, now I can't find him.

@seculi7757

4 жыл бұрын

His dog is named Spot. Spot the Dog.

@chado3000

4 жыл бұрын

@@seculi7757 I do not spot him anywhere.

If you heard no laughs at the 5:12 joke, it's because they were mimes.

A phenom. Like early Steve Martin...extraordinary.

It’s 2022 and he’s the genius we need