Hah yeah, i got stuck. My mom was mad and kicked me out to my dad's at 16 (messy divorce). I lived alone in my dad's house for 7 months until he decided me and him were gonna move in with his gf. Gf is unhappy with me (i was unhappy there anyway) and she wanted me out. Moved in w my boyfriend and his parents for a few months (still unhappy). During all this time i felt horrible because i was living with people who either didnt want me there, that i didnt want to live with or both. But i couldnt just "get a place". It took me a over a year to find a house for myself. Now at 18 I have my own tiny studio appartment and let me tell you, i finally felt like i moved on from it all.

@Hi-vo9de

2 жыл бұрын

You are 18. So, time is the best treasure that you have in your life. ♥️

@AthenaLolita2

2 жыл бұрын

It is amazing what we go through as a child that we shouldnt but it is so normal for us. We take it on.

As a person who has struggled with depression and have been stuck most of my life, this is the best and most effective Ted Talk I've heard. Thank you so much.

@starlight3497

5 жыл бұрын

Samuel How have you been? Hope you're doing better

@unsiafika

5 жыл бұрын

Goodjob samuel!

@Hadeel_Alshammari

5 жыл бұрын

How the talk helped you? Can you share your experience?

@KellieDoll28

4 жыл бұрын

Samuel I too struggle with depression, and I wholeheartedly agree- this Ted talk has given me a new game play.

@cynthiatampos1094

4 жыл бұрын

Samuel I was thinking the exact same thing. I’m blown away at the perspective she defines on here. 👍🏼

Her talking is so clear. She is confident and structured which reflects in her speech. I also think this talk is informative and helpful.

I've done what she says and it works. Problem: narc ex moves in over the road and bombards me with abuse. Solution: move, block, create new life with plenty of self care. Result: happier than I have ever been!

@hanimoon1422

4 жыл бұрын

Good for you! 😄

@lindacorrin7847

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you

@diandreabrown8711

3 жыл бұрын

I am going through something somewhat similar but i am living with my ex and I KNOW overall despite good and not good I shouldn't be here but I dont have the money to live on my own. My goal is to finish school get a job and move... i just want to survive til then and I too am practicing self love, reflection and meditation.. you give me somewhat hope it will WORK.

@osirusj275

2 жыл бұрын

Congratz moving away solves 80%of the issue.. Good decision.

@Roseenmarie

2 жыл бұрын

2 years on and my life is more than I could have ever hoped for, I'm in the middle of a medical degree, I have met an extremely loving and caring individual and we are getting married next year and I have been very lucky to be able to get a house in the middle of the countryside, it is idyllic. I still had problems with the narc, he sent the police to my house on a few occasions because he could not access me, making up lies saying I was harassing him. The first police officer was awful, the second one was very understanding. I just stood my ground, explained I was not interested in this person and showed the proof and evidence that I was not doing the things he said I was. I think after the second time he got a warning to stop contacting them unless something actually happened. The guy is complete demented and just could not grasp that I was not interested in him in the absolute slightest!!!!

You’re gonna turn, you’re gonna learn and you’re gonna commit. Meaning you’re gonna turn away from focusing on the problem, turn toward the opposite, what you want, and create a solution. You’re gonna learn from trial and error, and most importantly stay committed because it will be challenging and you may slip up, but you can keep moving forward. One right step and then the next. An additional tip I learned from Hassan Minhaj: do the hardest thing you can today. And that doesn’t mean like go start ur business or get into shape, but a goal that is achievable within one calendar day. Like maybe working for 45 minutes on a business plan, or apologising to the person you had a fight with, or going for a 25 minute walk.

TURN (into different direction) LEARN (new strategies) MOVE FORWARD!!!!!!!!!!

Most of the people I know who are stuck have trouble deciding what to do next. They are stuck in a cycle of indecision. When they do decide something to do, the moment they fail, they quit. So I view "stuck" as a failure-indecision cycle.

@twinsoultarot473

5 жыл бұрын

Ezm23 You are so right. And your young age, knowing that is going to take you far in life. 😁

@akakonoha

5 жыл бұрын

Very well put. But where’s the solution? :)

@fldsify

5 жыл бұрын

Very well put. I find myself in this situation. While I’m not happy about it, I do take solace in knowing I am not alone.

@slimdudeDJC

5 жыл бұрын

When you said "you're working hard to get out of this cycle", it meant you finally decided to do something, breaking the cycle of indecision.

@QDdawg44

5 жыл бұрын

@@akakonoha the first part of the solution is the awareness

A body in motion tends to stay in motion. It's always easier to move once you are already moving. It doesn't matter if you think it's not exactly the direction you want to be moving or that you don't know what direction you want to be moving. Just move. It's easier to change direction from there.

Great message with great presentation. // One image stuck with me: little children learning to tie their shoes. We forget that we have all gone through that. The image is so beautiful: a little mind guiding little hands to master a task that at first seems complicated, if not impossible. But at some point it happens -- the look on a child's face when this trick is mastered is priceless.

Great talk. Ego, fear and pride are exactly what hold most people back in life!

I was stuck...until I heard this. I'll need to hear this more times and also to make a plan of action to move forward; away from my 'autopilot' mentality and into a conscientious step-by-step direction...with God as my Pilot. This will help in my finances too.

@teamfearlessmember396

4 жыл бұрын

Thanks for Autopilot mentality. I'm victim of this .it's new word for me

@andredesjardins5251

4 жыл бұрын

Make a note of that and read it EVERY morning man ! Keep it up !

Don't ever put power into other people's hands about your life!

@slimdudeDJC

5 жыл бұрын

Anon That comes from telling others everything about you without restraint. I stop doing that a long time ago.

@genevatate4125

5 жыл бұрын

I didn't tell my last guy everything and it still didn't matter. You should be able to trust the one you love and "loves" you..... he would just go in circles. He was a master ☹️ but I'm a warrior at surviving. It won't be any different this time ❤️✌🏼 however I learned 💯

@genevatate4125

5 жыл бұрын

You are supposed to be able to count on your partner. You are supposed to be the one person that they can count on and they are supposed to be the same for you. Partners to the ground 💯

@ladyeevdarkstarranon4421

5 жыл бұрын

Indeed you've shared the point in a nutshell ...good stuff DarkstarrAnon )O(

@ladyeevdarkstarranon4421

5 жыл бұрын

@@slimdudeDJC your comment has been stuck in my head and I needed to see your words... It's easier said than done ...negative is not easily brushed aside for me... Ty DarkStarrAnon

I was stuck and accepted he hurt me many times… Now I get power to move on ! 💕 Thank you so much🙏🏻❤️

I'm JUST KEEPING The FAITH day in day out I recommend this for YOU ALL

Chronic uniqueness is a red flag.. everything is manageable if I steer clear of embracing the temptation of entertaining my chronic uniqueness.. I love also what was said about not putting power in other people’s hands.. good stuff!! 🙌🏼

she is such an eloquent speaker, i really admire that about her

this woman has given me inspiration and motivation

I LOVE how blunt she is. Such a wonderful talk ❤

I watch this video every time I find myself stuck. It works every time.

Persistence is a crucial part of moving forward. I need to remember this as being positive for a short period is easy but becoming an everyday habit is not easy.

@BorClaire

4 жыл бұрын

optimistic

@kelvinxg6754

2 жыл бұрын

Well said claire.

Turn, Learn, and Committ to always moving forward.

@caroledouillot8858

4 жыл бұрын

she's talking about growth mindset and resilience

Absolutely LOVE this talk. Sending to a few friends who are in crisis right now. Thank you!

Such a smart and motivational woman, need someone like her in my life. Very funny and practical. I think she's better than most men at solving problems.

Thank you I needed this

Absolutely the best Tedx presentation ever! Sound reasoning, and easy to understand. The speaker is solid in giving how-to ways of getting unstuck.

'Learned Helplessness' is a condition created when one suffers from a traumatic experience or persistent failure to succeed; it is a continuing sense of powerlessness in the brain that can be treated- depending on the persons thoughts, physical or mental actions to overcome the continuous thoughts of feeling powerless. Talk therapy and many other types of self help can/will work if the person actually "tries" and believes they can overcome this feeling.

@jimmygriffis7415

6 жыл бұрын

Pocahontas Boyd I am suffering such trauma as you've described so perfectly. It has been going on for years and has completely overwhelmed me this year to the point that I completely fell apart. I isolated myself and was going down the tubes. Just last week I let other people know what was happening to me. It is so difficult to believe that everything is going to be okay. I'm stubborn though and I won't give up trying. That's why I'm watching these videos. I'm so grateful for all these TEDx talks. She reminded me of how Edison tried so many times to make a light bulb and failed over and over, but persisted until he got one to work. I've just found a bunch of ways life doesn't work and need to keep trying until I find a way that does. My dreams are real and I have to believe I can and will achieve them and never give up hope. I'm tired of being stuck! I was about to give up. I am so glad I let people know.

@akakonoha

5 жыл бұрын

You can take flower essences; such as Bach Flower remedies or in America there’s also FES flower essence range. There are many emotional states you can heal with flower essences. Even not giving up, when one should in fact do so & sit back & take time out. Letting go & letting God. Which is the most underestimated crucial point of surrender.

@disturbed1013

4 жыл бұрын

@@jimmygriffis7415 He stole ideas from Tesla and others. But yeah, try until you get want you want 👍

@caroledouillot8858

4 жыл бұрын

@@jimmygriffis7415 listen to this little voice inside you who still believes and hang on to it...make it bigger day by day

Get on the arrow! Turn, learn and always move forward, with persistence! Thank you Dr. Lani Nelson Zlupko!

Thank you so much Dr Zlupko, I have watched this on the 8th of January 2020 now I know what I have been doing wrong all these years & i am going to make some changes. This is the best Ted talk which will brighten my 2020. God Bless You.

Best talk ever. I ordered Dr. Lani's book while I was listening to her talk from Amazon. I can hardly wait for the book to arrive. In the meantime, I listen to her talk daily. So motivating and inspiring talk.

Absolutely amazing. I really needed to hear this. It was definitely right on time.

Turn - Learn - Commit to move forward! Massive thanks!

YES! When you're stuck, turn away from the problem and move your energy. If you can't run, walk or swim or do yoga. If you're me and you seriously want romance in your life but you struggle with it, you need to redirect your energy towards learning the skills that are the building blocks for what I want. Right?

She's great! So inspirational, loved it!

So true! Being honest to oneself is the hardest bridge to be crossed.. But so possible! Thank you so much for this talk!

Very inspiring and informative. Very true the ways we continue to be stuck and great insights into how to turn from stuck to moving forward. Thanks

Amazed by her talk. Body language, tone of voice and structure of talk are all too good. Wonderful!

Brilliant talk! Funny thing how simple n logical it is y we get stuck!

@neurotransfer

6 жыл бұрын

jes gam ii

Brilliantly put, thank you very much! ✨💖🙏🏻✨ Never put power in other peoples hands, about your life. If you have something that’s making you less the person you were meant to be. It’s time to look in a new direction. Your win is over here, just looks a little different ~ Dr. Lani Nelson Zlupko

Such a boost! Thanks I reckon watching it again n again to pursuade myself .

This is the best Ted talks so far till now I came across !!!c

She is SOOOO good! Preach it girl, you got me out of my egoic funk quick!

Excellent...I need to listen to this video every morning and I will.

thank you

You are GREAT my DEAR! I belong to your world. Great words and all true.

This was deep, thank you a mill. I just recovered my bounce back muscles.Yeah the power is in our hands.xoxo

Persistence is key.... Thank you so much ❤

so true. funny yet full of compassion and completely actionable!

This is a great and very helpful talk! The way she explains and all are very clear, informative, and VERY PRACTICAL! 😄

this fine talk stood HEAD and Shoulders ABOVE an hour of videos I've watched this afternoon. It just all made such solid and influential sense in my confused "brick wall" thinking and was just so inspirational and motivational. All Kudos with Much Gratitude to Dr Lani Nelson Zlupko and I'll most certainly be seeking out more talks from this fabulous Lady !

what a woman, so inspirational. Thank you very much for this Talk

Quote: “where attention goes, energy grows”. So be aware of where you put your attention. In my humble opinion, as much as possible, I wish to put my attention on God, Our Creator. The repetition of any name of God...such as Allah, or Christ, or Hindus says: Hare Krishna etc... you will " know" what's best for you. This mantra, zhikr not will help focus the mind, nut so purifies you.

@koense

5 жыл бұрын

Einstein once said: “If I had an hour to solve a problem I'd spend 55 minutes thinking about the problem and 5 minutes thinking about solutions.” It is funny sometimes how views can differ. But I understand what she is trying to say in this Ted talk. It's never good to drown in your own personal problems.

@Beatrichay

4 жыл бұрын

Isn't it just a different side of the same coin? Doesn't focusing on the solution point out that there is a problem? (Especially if the solution isn't working)

@rhyannonbinder1460

4 жыл бұрын

Jo

@HalotasM

3 жыл бұрын

@@Beatrichay 0ñb. Ñ

@ciobalina7445

2 жыл бұрын

@@Beatrichay yes, I was thinking the same.

And..... pretty sure this just saved my life. Thank you!

Wow! She is on point, I think I might have conquered several key issues in just 15 minutes!

This is fantastic, thank you.

Thank You. Very well presented. Good Strategy

everything is perfectly and plainly delivered, don't stress it

Awesome..need more like you!

Wow! This is was great. Amazing flow of concepts and series of actions. Very good speaker. I will be using this in my Empowerment class that I facilitate.

I really needed to hear this, thank you❤️❤️

Superb! Thank you so much. So inspiring, insightful & helpful 😀 Wow! You are changing lives every day. God Bless you & everyone struggling to change 👼

This talk was more helpful to me than I can say! I should play this on loop as I go to sleep so that it really sinks into my subconscious mind!

This is a great talk. TEDx should start including sign languages

I needed it years ago, yet I'm glad.

Thank you for your speech.. love from New Zealand 💚💚

I want this woman in my corner at all times…amazing talk!

Just awesome. Listened to her message 4 times already. Wow... She looks amazing toooo.... 😢

That was some much needed timely advice.

I needed exactly this. For once KZread has recommended the right video.

I heard the talk 4 times back to back and its impressive. Keep it up !

Best Ted talk ever!! She should have more videos on KZread. And it's amazing how the white dress cuts off exactly at the line of the white location words. For the first time in Tedx someone didn't speak in circles

@jamesgentry13

7 жыл бұрын

Vidita MorePatil nah this was stupid. these Ted things never related to me

@eddieparker1680

7 жыл бұрын

@james gentry then don't watch them, thanks..

@divinebeginnings3741

7 жыл бұрын

James Gentry or keep watching, believing you will be given the ones that you need/ that are relevant in your experience, all while having the knowing that all the other TedTalks that though they may not be relevant to you,, they ARE helping others all around the Globe..

@aspealioshis

7 жыл бұрын

great comment @Susan D

@kayem3824

6 жыл бұрын

Honestly, I got too bored by 3.13.

I'd given up on TED but this talk gives me hope. Great job!

There’s no problems, only solutions. It’s how you view it which becomes a problem. As long as you deal with your own stuff, & how you deal with the situation will become easy. It’s all there to help us learn & grow.

Wonderful! Thank you!

Great perspective. Nice to hear a different way of trying to get back on track.

Excellent talk - thank you.

Thank You !

Brilliant . Thank you

Even her aura is saying problems ain't problems. Best advice, Pretend that It never happened. feeling unstuck thank you so much ma'am

@kelliwallen481

6 жыл бұрын

lol

@sariahhayford3331

5 жыл бұрын

No, she's talking about what to do after you have already acknowledged a problem. She started her talk with examples of people who get stuck on that step, and then shows how to move forward from there

@marleneheywood6799

4 жыл бұрын

@@sariahhayford3331 uckguckg

Go Lani I'm so thrilled this came up in my feed! Great talk! from fellow '89er

Very good learning and persistence

Thank you

Excellent talk with usable tools, ty

a great talk I've ever heard

This gave me a lot of perspective

Thank you. Perfect talk for me today.

Thank you very much for the useful and fun talk!

Thanks Tedx n Dr.Lani..ur Great..

This is one of the best ted talks Ive listened to

It is not even related to the problem itself, it is related to who stays stuck and who moves forward! People stuck in problem rather than move forward ... time to turn, learn, move ... Thank you Dr. Nelson-Zlupko! Face life unafraid, we can make it!

Perfect talk- clear, easy to grasp, actionable and well delivered!

I love the last part. Just persist until you're able to reinterpret

She is not only very watchable. She has very helpful advice.

I would love for her to be my coach because I know I need it...no matter all the positivity and affirmations and meditations a part of me feels STUCK. Don't want to be stuck just want to have peace.. i watched this twice. Will rewatch again and again.

Brilliant!

Good talk. I really needed that.

Great perspective. I’m looking forward to hearing more from her. I will be looking her up to follow her.

She got to the point of not the problem as the focus, but how you approach it with an attitude to change. She is good at what she does!

Excellent.

A talk with substance... Helped a lot

This is so powerful