I think people are missing the entire point that John was making with Valerie. At no point did he condone what she did. She committed a terrible atrocity and there is no getting around that. But the part where she didn’t do anything wrong is that they both agreed to stay in the relationship and to raise the child and move on, and then he continuously blames his faults on what he supposedly moved on from on her. There is no justifying what she did, and the best decision for both of them if they truly weren’t willing to accept what happened and the consequences of that would have just been to move on. John is right on the money here.

Thanks Dr. John, I now have anxiety from that stressful life description speech 😂.

@dsmolks1

Жыл бұрын

🫣 too real 😂

@thenerdymillennial

Жыл бұрын

Samesies 😹😹😹😹☠️☠️☠️☠️

@3roachkidsdhe

Жыл бұрын

Right

@k4xxxminecrafter792

Жыл бұрын

😂

@erikdacosta3822

11 ай бұрын

I'm so glad it wasn't just me!🤣

Okay so this lady in the first call cheats on her bf, has a kid with another man, and HE is fully to blame for this not working out? I don’t know how we can come to this conclusion without even getting the guy’s perspective. John with the fair and balanced approach 👌

@flashthecorgi2053

Жыл бұрын

I think they are both to blame however, I agree with John once you decide to stay with the person you can no longer hold it over that person. I think that’s why John is so frustrated with this guy because instead of being a person of character and leaving in a respectful way he withheld love and care to her!

@nicklowe_

Жыл бұрын

@@flashthecorgi2053 I agree with you, but there was almost no time spent talking about how what she did was pretty freaking bad. He literally said she has nothing to forgive herself for. Imagine if this was a guy: I cheated on my girlfriend, got another girl pregnant, and for some reason the girl I cheated on is treating me badly. Imagine John in that situation, he would probably spend way more time focusing on the man's lack of character. John goes into the call assuming this lady is an angel and her bf is irredeemably shitty.

@flashthecorgi2053

Жыл бұрын

@@nicklowe_ I disagree with John saying that she has nothing to forgive herself for but, I also understand his perspective of why he views the BF that way because I do too! She needs to work on herself and why she cheated before she gets into another relationship so that she doesn’t t repeat the cheating!

@nicklowe_

Жыл бұрын

@@flashthecorgi2053 That's exactly my point, but John completely downplays this

@carloswithac

Жыл бұрын

Yea, Dr. Delony tends to do this I've noticed. More in the recent episodes. I still agree with most of the advice.

I have been watching your program now for about 3 months. I find your podcast really helpful. It is for the reality of life...meeting us in the daily ups and downs of real life. Helps me to remain in reality not in the life I wish was. Thank you. I have sent a couple of podcasts to my adult sons too.

Nope. You cheat on me we are done. I was married for 35 years and I found out he had multiple affairs. I dumped him like a hot rock. Once they cheat, they always cheat and they don’t stop.

@kylaj3602

Жыл бұрын

I disagree. I understand the thinking and I believe that’s true in certain cases, but not every case. Your ex-husband clearly didn’t have any regret if it was multiple times. I know people who have had issues in their relationships and it led them to a situation where they blocked all that out and cheated. Their SO decided to forgive them this one time and they’ve been doing a lot better. They’ve still had relationship issues, but they are so much more devoted now. Another key difference is that they got back into relationship with God as well.

@TheEquiss

Жыл бұрын

@@kylaj3602 nope. He cheated with multiple people after he was caught. He just got sneakier about it. I will never waste my time on anyone again. It’s just worth it.

@catebee4431

Жыл бұрын

Which is exactly what this guy should have done. Instead he chose to stay then used it against her.

@TCAPRecipes

11 ай бұрын

Exactly

@benascg-ll7sq

4 ай бұрын

I cud not live with the guilt of cheating on the woman I love

pre-ordered your book - I cannot wait to receive it!! Thank you DR JOHN!! It's sometimes hard to realize when you get wrapped up in your own day-to-day chaos that we are not alone in this over-anxious cycle.

What's been a huge help for my anxiety levels has been eliminating heavy caffeinated drinks (cut out coffee), morning breathing exercises, intense exercises a few times per week, journaling, and mindfulness...the book "30 Days to Reduce Anxiety" by Harper Daniels has been my go to for mindfulness lessons, but I also like numerous books and methods for relief.

@thisoldbelair

11 ай бұрын

I love hearing of people that quit caffeine. I quit caffeinated drinks and everything 10 years ago, and never looked back. Caffeine free is a great life. Good luck to you 👍

Just preordered an autographed copy. My wife an I are reading through own your pass change your future together. Listening to you has been life changing. Thanks for what you do.

When Valerie cheated her boyfriend should’ve just broke up with her then and should have been thankful the kid wasn’t his. I don’t know why John keeps telling her she did nothing wrong. She absolutely did a lot wrong and needs to own it. She’s not the victim here. She’s asking her boyfriend to raise a kid she had when cheating on him.

I love how caller 1 tried to leave out that she started out the relationship having another man's baby. She is not without fault in this entire situation. She should forgive herself for cheating on and completely destroying a man who otherwise sounds like he tried hard to love her....but that's a huge mistake she made and her ex isn't a horrible person because he couldn't accept it. Who knows what else she did to cause his actions... For the last caller...I need her to know she is not alone & to please not give up. I also feel like due to the sensitivity of the call and the inability to help her this call should not have been aired at all especially if the caller is at the point of self ham.

Wow this channel got a major upgrade! Great work behind the scenes team! 🎉

Caller: I cheated on my boyfriend and got pregnant. Dr. D: You did nothing wrong 🤦‍♂️

@tinam761

Жыл бұрын

That’s not correct… that was wrong … when they decided to stay together and he was abusive… that was wrong.

@ArkansasDeerChaser

Жыл бұрын

Hahaha beat me to it. He basically blew right passed that. He was more than likely a douchebag but she cheated on him early in the relationship and got pregnant yet is shocked he didn’t treat her well. I’d say she didn’t treat him very well either.

@catebee4431

Жыл бұрын

He also chose to stay in the relationship instead of leaving her (most decent men I know would have just left. It should be a deal breaker). Then he used her sin to gain leverage over her. He should have walked away, but he chose to stay and be an asshole.

@robertmcneely5202

Жыл бұрын

Most decent women wouldn't have gotten pregnant by another man.

@catebee4431

Жыл бұрын

@@robertmcneely5202 never said otherwise. He should have walked away and be done with it.

To caller no. 2 I am so sorry you were abused. My husband was sexually abused by his sister and is getting therapy for the past 2 years. He also read the book "CEN" by Jonice Webb and she helps us connect with our emotions. I am thinking of you and ❤️ sending you healing and hope.

That last call is what I needed to hear. I'm afraid of my feelings too

Love the new graphics!

Wow the kid gloves with the first caller is a amazing. And yes some people deserve to be stranded, thrown to wolfs and have the door locked behind them. People like damn cheaters who ruin people lives and damage their ability to trust and fell safe for the rest of their lives. The morale decay from some people is baffling.😮

For caller #2 I could not be with someone who cheats and raise the other dudes kid. The relationship was over when she cheated. Period

Thank you for addressing the psychotherapy part. I need to fire my therapist. I'm a veteran so I'm somewhat at mercy of veterans admin. Therapist is only 1 va has in this region. He wants me to go to grocery store parking lot and meditate so i can get over my anxiety, hypervigilance, PTS. He also said if I can't make my mind up to get past this "stuff" , he doesn't think he can help.😢😮

Didn’t realise John had comedic chops 😂

Why I get an ad as sooon as you started your talk? I was ready and paying attention. 😂

Interesting how we're told in the video to stop multitasking and listen because the message is so important, and then we get hit with an ad. Ugh!!!

I'm trying to up my anxiety game. Maybe there's a Ted talk for those looking for more anxiety, a good panic attack now and then too.

If they cheat, break it off and move on.

I allow someone to treat me like crsp I realise I was in a dark place and forgive myself and ask God for forgiveness

Dr John, I wish you'd settle on an opening greeting that you are comfortable saying 😊

When will this be available to people in Australia?

not me got rid of the kids and after they grew up it all melted away

I'm sick and tired of crimes, people hurting people over material things... what happened to kind people?

*clicks add to cart*

Toxic boyfriend? Vallery cheated on her man with another man and had his kid? John Delony......what are you talking about? Valery completely did things wrong. What am I missing?

Did I miss something? I didn’t hear any talk on how to deal with anxiety? It seemed to just be a talk on what crazy things happen in our day. What was my take away meant to be?

@flashthecorgi2053

Жыл бұрын

That was 10 mins of an hour and a half convo!!! He absolutely crushed it and had a standing ovation at the end!

@strangeaslife

Жыл бұрын

It was a wake up call. Buy the book for how to handle the issues.

@MrNathan1575

Жыл бұрын

@@strangeaslife Got it. So it was just a book plug. So tired if these titles promising something they don’t give. I don’t care if it was part of a bigger talk. He made it sound like he was going to give some information on dealing with anxiety. Disappointing

I pre-ordered this for husband!

@dabd8175

Жыл бұрын

Buy one for yourself 😂

Girlll, you can’t cheat on your partner, have another man’s child and expect respect from the man you cheated on 😅 that’s just silly.

@ArkansasDeerChaser

Жыл бұрын

100% spot on. I mean I cheated and got pregnant but he chose To stay with me! So basically it’s all his fault.

@catebee4431

Жыл бұрын

Now ask yourself, why did he stay?

She had a baby with another man, and he's supposed to just chill ...🤦‍♂️

Using essential oils are great, but that joke got me laughing hard!

Unless these callers are going to honestly share both sides, i think y'all need to have both parties on the line. My first ex kept nickel and diming our bank account. I worked 6 days/week, made 65k back in 2002-2003. I had to take her off the bank accounts!!! I couldn't even get her to pay the monthly bills.

Whatever you have planned for your LIVE SHOW is for the audience is always welcome to my TV set? No?!?!😅❤😊🎉

Wow John really dropped the ball on this first call. She is the one who ruined the family. He was just too weak to end it and walk away. To blame this dude for breaking this family is delusional. To say to her she dreamed of a perfect family is also deluded. It was broken from the beginning. Absolutely off on this call.

Dude... John... I couldn't get through the first 10 minutes of that without it spinning up my anxiety. Cut a fella a break, OK? Breathe... breathe...

"if you are watching this on KZread, stop multitasking. . . " How did he know?

First time listener First caller was a flop.

She cheated???? Did nothing wrong? What am I not getting here? Why did she cheat?

and throw in disabled children which just 50x that scenario

John with the first caller, if that was a guy you would had crucified him. Extremely bias towards women and honestly doesn't make very much sense

@nicklowe_

Жыл бұрын

I had a baby with another man and for some reason he just totally changed?? Weird right??

@yesterdayseyes

Жыл бұрын

John is the childish coward, too scared to speak the truth.

@jamesstanton3280

Жыл бұрын

True but maybe he didn't think she could handle a lashing.she did mess it up and he was abusive both screwed up but she was lonely one nite and changed her entire life

@kevinwilson6270

Жыл бұрын

@@jamesstanton3280 he goes easy on every woman and nails every man to the cross... Extremely bias and can't listen to his content anymore

@colmwhateveryoulike3240

Жыл бұрын

I disagree in this case. Had a man described his wife openly express such manipulative abuse, and admit to cheating in the beginning, I doubt John would be that hard on him. I do know what you mean about the bias though, and I share that bias. I am harder on men than on women in ways, because as a man I know men are generally harder than women in those ways. I expect more of women in other ways.

I hope Valerie continues in therapy. So the toxic boyfriend (who wasn’t the father) is the problem? Wow. Where is the real father in all of this? She needs to figure what sleeping with another guy was going to fix or accomplish. Was the bio father married when the child was conceived? Why is she solely “ the victim” ? Also her version of the perfect family doesn’t begin like this. I hope she figures things out and creates a healthy environment for her and her baby. I wish her all the best.

She def did lots wrong starting with the cheating but move on. It is over with. Teach your child to be better than the two of you.

Valerie learned nothing today😊

Females take notes 😂