Sorry for the delay…. I think I finally have the audio issues fixed. 😊

I used to think all those crazy thoughts were me as well off and on for years and very intense to put it mildly the first 2 or 3 months. I am able to recognize now the thoughts are not me with the help of listening to someone go thru a similar experience I was never able to be in the moment and I am starting to experience this like looking at the trees, appreciating things around me and probably be able to truly start loving myself and other people with authentic feelings. It really feels like getting a second chance in life to rewrite my story. Dan you are a life saver man and I am sure you know that. My days are getting better and better I am learning a lot everyday even the bad days seem to be getting better and I am able to catch it usually before it gets to bad. SOme days they still kick my butt but I am realizing those thoughts and my thought process of old in general was not me. It almost feels like the death or grieving and a rebirth of my spirit, mind, body and soul. Like a baby learning to walk and everything is new and exciting but also very scary because it is a new experience. Sounds insane but it is pretty deep like you said if you open up pandoras box. You truly inspire me and probably everyone on this channel.

@philosophicalfishing

Жыл бұрын

I remember feeling the exact same way. I used to say I felt like a baby again too- learning everything for the first time

Thanks.

You’re an inspiration to us all Dan. Eckhart Tolle is awesome

@philosophicalfishing

Жыл бұрын

Thanks Marc!

@bobbobarino6213

Жыл бұрын

@@philosophicalfishing How are you doing during this process Marc? Hope all is well

I had an interesting day with a ton of positive and negative emotions/thoughts. When I woke up this morning, I had some kind of a nightmare dream again. It was a general sense of panic and fear for a reason that I was unaware of. It affected me most of the day and has happened quite a bit when I wake up going thru this journey of healing. I believe the fear or panic I woke up with manifested throughout the day because I was trying to figure out what it was and eventually it peaked. It then turned into me thinking about taking something to escape this fear or panic which resulted in more fear, shame, panic etc. I did some meditation later in the evening and fell asleep. I then woke up in the middle of the night at 12 or so with what felt like a spiritual experience. I woke up and performed some meditation to help reconnect with my body, mind and spirit. During and after the meditation my mind/body/spirit was communicating with me in a way that I could understand that I was healing and is trying to regulate itself. I have thought this way before but not on a deeper level spiritually. Also, when I woke up in the middle of the night, I had a feeling of compassion for myself. I understood on a deep level that when I took this medication in high school it changed my mind quickly within less than a month. I remembered sitting on a curb looking at the sky looking for answers because something had shifted, and I realize now that I had lost myself in that moment. This began my decent into benzos and other drugs because what I was trying to fix was me sitting on that curb and not understanding what I was feeling is benzo withdrawal nightmare. Sure, I had some pretty intense trauma emotionally/physically which may have led me to benzos, but who doesn't have trauma. The real trauma was not understanding what I was going thru benzo withdrawal and then the additional trauma of people around me not understanding either. I was unable to cope emotionally with life, traumas and benzo withdrawal. I have been trying to fix this for all my life and I am talking about OCD like obsession. It drove me mad not understand what was going on with me. In saying this there is a huge relief off of me that I am ok and that it is going to take some time to heal. I also realize how strong I am to have survived this long not understanding what was going on. I am starting to reconnect with myself slowly and I am starting too not be so hard on myself anymore. In conclusion, today was an interesting one to say the least. I had a great spiritual experience and was starting to connect and feel my mind/body/spirit again in a new way. I believe it is the start or continued process of shedding my benzo identity and reconnecting with a brand new me that will take some time. I understand there will be some ups and downs, but it is just part of the healing process. I get the pleasure of truly understanding who I am, and I look forward to continuing this process for the rest of my life. I am also really grateful for finding Dan and this community. It has provided me with a safe place to journal, learn from Dan, explore and enjoy the process. My whole life has been so challenging for me it is hard to even describe but not anymore this is starting to change. I am so thankful to have found a home where I can heal thru this process. It is so important to have a place to feel safe and be understood. This was a huge trauma for me in the past because people just don't understand. It used to really gaslight me into further drug use and basically being like fuck it there is something wrong with me. Today was great progress in my healing journey. It really has a way of changing how you view life... I hope everyone is doing well Best Wishes & Much Love Ben.....

Another great video! Sobriety: Good news you get your feelings back! Bad news you get your feelings back!

@philosophicalfishing

Жыл бұрын

Right!!

What a beautiful video🙌

Dank je wel om deze te delen betekent veel voor mensen in deze situatie. Ik ben er nu bijna 4 jaar af en nog momenten van slechtere dagen mijn brein kan niet veel aan,maar ook al vele goede dagen gehad. Nog enorm opzoek naar mijzelf wat ook niet makkelijk is...maar ook het spirituele in,veel herkenbaar van jou video.

@freddumee

Жыл бұрын

33 jaar op benzodiazepinen en veel te snel gestopt. Mijn benen en voeten schudden en krampen 18 uur per dag sinds 21 maanden. Buik krampen. Constant spierschokken. Angst, intense pijn, overprikkeling etcetera. Herkent u dit?

@Angke0007

Жыл бұрын

Heel herkenbaar hoor,m8jn benen zijn ook nog niet helemaal oke,bij slechte dagen blijft dit de kop opsteken,heel vervelend gevoel trekt tot in heel mijn lichaam en heb dan ook het gevoel of ik op een schip zit onstabiel op de benen. Ook heb ik nu meer momenten dat het er in eens weer uit trekt,...Windows en waves dus....ik nam ook 20 jaar xanax en werd van dag op dag stop gezet werd op 4 weken valium gezet en dat was het onbeschrijfelijk lijden is het,maar het word beter het heeft veel tijd nodig.

Love watching your videos.... relate to it all..... something definitely opens up in the mind in this.. you see things in different ways man.... from things I've watched on utube it seems to be a ayewaska (I think that's how spell it 😆) type experience with this withdrawal.... can't describe anything else like it... some video... hey Dan I've not hear you talk about the ringing in the ears in any your videos.... did you get it man? Its driving me nuts 😒 😆

@philosophicalfishing

Жыл бұрын

Yes! Benzo withdrawals definitely open up the minds to other realms. I have had and still do have tinnitus, but then I also have hearing damage from playing in bands, so I don’t know which affected me most. I do think benzos played a significant role though.

@katrinamenzies9398

Жыл бұрын

@@philosophicalfishing yes its like another realm

@thomasearly37

Жыл бұрын

@@philosophicalfishing I've got some from playing in bands also but it's nowhere as bad.... this high pitch whistling and just sounds like heavy noise inside my head... it comes and goes in severity.... thanks again Dan... much love to ya.

@bobbobarino6213

Жыл бұрын

I have the tinnitus in the ears as well. It comes and goes for me. Is it getting any better for you?

@thomasearly37

Жыл бұрын

@@bobbobarino6213 I've tinnitus on and off to... there's no change with that. Im actually getting it pretty bad just now.

🎃