"Wearing a mask is like trying to keep a fart in your trousers" is a long-winded way of telling the world that your breath smells like ass

@BirbGoBrrrrr5230

2 жыл бұрын

Lmao

@hannahsmart4494

2 жыл бұрын

Worst part is is that it's oddly accurate? The mask lets air through but not all the airborne saliva droplets in your breath that carry COVID in them. The trousers (though more accurately underwear) don't stop the smell or the gas, but they do stop the poop particles from escaping.

@yaredscott3134

2 жыл бұрын

@@hannahsmart4494 Actually, studies have shown it only stops 10% of the aerosols from passing through. Not an insignificant amount, but hardly enough to matter.

@hannahsmart4494

2 жыл бұрын

@@yaredscott3134 it stops them enough for the particles not to reach 6 feet out even nearly as easily as without a mask, and it's already been thoroughly proven masks work to reduce transmission, across the medical field there is a consensus on that. Governments don't tend to enforce mask mandates for a laugh, it's not a politically popular idea, it's only done out of necessity.

@nullnull7495

2 жыл бұрын

They all look like they smell

I love the fact the guy made no excuses for himself, just said "erm yeah it's not one of my better moves". Like, while I am confused about why he glued his head to the road, I gotta give him credit that he is honest in that he really felt he didn't think it through

@lk4871

2 жыл бұрын

He’s Being politely British, LOL hilarious 😂

@ellecampbell3271

2 жыл бұрын

I love when they say well, If I’m being honest.... What does that mean?!?! Lol only the Brits!!!

@jennifermccarthy6733

2 жыл бұрын

I'm also confused why he glued his head - a hand would have done just fine! (This tactic is used because rather than being able to simply pick protestors up and move them out of the road/arrest them - British police then have to wait around untill they can source some of the solution that dissolves super glue.... Russell's fortunately wrong about him having to cut himself free with scissors... British police dissolve the glue before arresting people fairly routinely at protests... But I guess that wouldn't have been as funny 🤔

@FozzQuaker

Жыл бұрын

@@ellecampbell3271 it means he's about to be honest

@jaymercer4692

Жыл бұрын

I think it was a fairly brave thing to do. Nothing about bravery says you can’t be terrified, whatever it is he clearly believes it so much he’s willing to do rash things to get attention for it.

“Uhm, it’s not one of my better moves” is such an honest British answer lmao.

@adamschank7703

2 ай бұрын

Hindsight is 20/20

hiding perishable food under cereal as an act of defiance is more than just mockable. It is malevolent, especially in an era of food deserts and literal starvation.

@andrewmoore4608

2 жыл бұрын

And then these brainless pricks wonder why the cost of living keeps going up.

@leonardhpls6

2 жыл бұрын

About as mockable as "an era of food desserts" and literal retardation 😭 I love a good old food desert 😋

0:14 "but then because it's *not* the states it's New Zealand they politely put them back up again" Okay ouch... Fair and credit where credit is due that was a sick as fuck burn on us... I personally laughed way harder than I should have and love it a ton

@saorise28

2 жыл бұрын

It was my favorite and I laughed so hard 🤣

@jillmortlock8439

2 жыл бұрын

Yup def the kiwi way😁

@Aotearoa_Kiwi

2 жыл бұрын

_"... yeah nah ..."_

@penelopepigeon8505

2 жыл бұрын

American here, and I loved it! 🤣💦🇳🇿>🇺🇲 on that point

"Who gets angry at a bike?" Clearly never repeatedly fell off it and blamed the bike instead of your own balance 😂

@debbskyj

2 жыл бұрын

You meant it ISN'T the 'stupid fkin bikes' fault?

@jacetaneneko_vt

Жыл бұрын

@@debbskyjnope! And tbh i was shocked when i first read it too lol

British humour is the best ever. Irish Canadian here and I have been laughing for my entire 63 years. Never ending classic comedy!

@ophelias4172

2 жыл бұрын

Fellow Canadian here, and I really have to agree.

@GeorgeyTheApe

2 жыл бұрын

@@ophelias4172 And that's just the Parliamentary debates.

@ophelias4172

2 жыл бұрын

@@GeorgeyTheApe I have to admit. English Parliamentary debates are a lot more fun to watch. I miss the speaker of the House when he said "Or-dah!".

@roystonrubble7103

2 жыл бұрын

I couldn't disagree more at the moment

@ellecampbell3271

2 жыл бұрын

@@roystonrubble7103 Actually, you could. That’s funny!

"Wearing a mask is like trying to keep a fart in your trousers"!??? How bad is your breath?! Now you know why your family and friends have disappeared! :D

@pseudonayme7717

2 жыл бұрын

It's actually a very valid point about transmission of the virus. Masks are ineffective and vectors for transmission, primarily because you actually CAN catch it from someone farting and/or just simply breathing. It can also infect through the eyes and ears, but nobody is covering up their eyes and ears to slow transmission. So covering the mouth is basically a pointless effort where we pick an orifice we think is the main source of transmission, ignoring the health and quality of life consequences that entails, whilst all other types of transmission are ignored too.

@Snowshowslow

2 жыл бұрын

@@pseudonayme7717 Well... We pick two orifices that are otherwise uncovered and that are actually big factors in both emitting virus particles ánd taking them in. So while masks are far from foolproof they have been shown to have a sizable effect when everyone wears them. But I am sure everyone will thank you to keep your farts in too.

@silverbrumbyfan

2 жыл бұрын

​@@pseudonayme7717 Uh dude transmission means how the virus spreads not how it enters the body. The mask is to prevent transmission because the virus is spread through water droplets expelled from the nose and mouth and the mask is to protect other people not you Unless you are licking ears and eyeballs I don't think we need to worry about these 'other types of transmission'

@Crystan

2 жыл бұрын

@@pseudonayme7717 Unless your farts are extremely watery and your 'target' is within shitting distance, there's next to no chance of viral transmission through farts. Your breath is a large majority water from the air you breathe, and the droplets will catch and condense on the fibres of a mask, reducing the spread. Calling it ineffective only shows a lack of understanding of how this all works.

@yaredscott3134

2 жыл бұрын

@@Snowshowslow Wrong, they only stop 10% of aerosols. They are utterly useless, this has been proven time and again. Even the CDC admitted they don't work.

"Wearing a mask is like trying to keep a fart in your trousers" I was wondering why all the doctors and dentists have been wearing them for more than a century

@ACuriousChild

2 жыл бұрын

Really? Why don't you grow your own food? It has been this way for centuries, then it should be that way for eternity. Shouldn't it?

@john.harrison

2 жыл бұрын

@@ACuriousChild ok we stopped growing our own food because specialization and commerce is a better system. not because a bunch of selfish priks did not like getting told what to do by the government in order to minimize deaths. Do you realy not want the doctor to be required to wear a mask the next time you have major surgery or should it be his choice? Heck why should he even bother to wash his hands 1st? If he read on Facebook it does not work and he doesn't want to just let him dig around in your guts with his shit stained hands right?

@davel9514

2 жыл бұрын

@@ACuriousChild Tell your surgeon not to wear a mask next time you're in the operating theater

@ACuriousChild

2 жыл бұрын

@@davel9514 No problem, I don't need a surgeon in the first place. Try harder!

@ACuriousChild

2 жыл бұрын

@@john.harrison Nice try! Don't have time to spend on people on the moral high horse that have it backwards. Good riddance!

I saw this days ago why is it being released again 3 minutes ago? Still funny😁

@MrMonkey2150

2 жыл бұрын

It’s a compilation of weird protests

@mistermagnifico

2 жыл бұрын

Kerchingkerching

@GJ.538

2 жыл бұрын

Matches the title of the video 😄

@karengilchrist9774

2 жыл бұрын

It's being released again because it's funny enough to watch again.

@becky2235

2 жыл бұрын

Think yay new upload nope seen it 3 times

I just love your silly sense of humour, and the light and joy you bring to people's lives Mr Howard...so very funny indeed 😄

To be fair, "Orgy of violence," is not an uncommon turn of phrase.

@1nfinitune533

2 жыл бұрын

Sounds like a regular Friday night for me

@Ichneumonxx

2 жыл бұрын

Especially in Rotterdam.

@leonardhpls6

2 жыл бұрын

When somebody says "is not an uncommon turn of phrase" there opinion on language is somewhat worthless. If orgy of violence is a common phrase for you then God damn you must lead a very interesting life, please tell

Don't sell the Dutch short when it comes to violent protest. Search for: "In 1672, an angry mob of Dutchmen butchered and ate their prime minister".

@bramvanduijn8086

2 жыл бұрын

To be fair: He was a rich arsehole, always on the side of rich arseholes, and a staunch republican. Sneaky bastard about it too: He wanted the people (well... burghers) to vote on a single powerful leader, and when it became clear that the people didn't want to vote for some smarmy bastard who was just going to rob them blind, he tricked them by taking over the "education" of the then young William III and teach him to avoid power. Anyway, if you want examples of terrifying Dutch people, look no further than that one time Dutch moms noticed their kids were dying in traffic more and more. kzread.info/dash/bejne/hY183JtseLuwdrQ.html

@5:00 "Who gets angry at a bike?" *Laughs in London* 😂

@Kat-mu8wq

2 жыл бұрын

I mean the price of those things are astonishing

Russell Howard is (1) my stress reliever and (2) more prone to asthma attack over laughing. Thank you for always making me smile😄

To be fair, an "orgy of violence" is a set expression in German (Gewaltorgie) for such incidents, and I presume in Dutch, as well.

@IgorRockt

2 жыл бұрын

And the idea behind that term actually *is* that the participants doing the violence get (sexually) aroused by it (think of it as a fetish).

@gary-from-smiths-across-th9641

2 жыл бұрын

It is a set expression but rather archaic.

@Tony-Anderson

2 жыл бұрын

@@IgorRockt Orgy: a wild party characterized by excessive drinking and indiscriminate sexual activity. adding violence to that meaning gives a horrifying image of the situation. Fun fact: In Norwegian we have a similar word "Voldsorgie" which basically means the aforementioned English description.

@IgorRockt

2 жыл бұрын

@@Tony-Anderson There are actually TWO definitions in English - this is from the Oxford Dictionary: orgy noun /ˈɔːdʒi/ /ˈɔːrdʒi/ (plural orgies) ​1. a party at which there is a lot of eating, drinking and sexual activity * a drunken orgy 2. ​orgy (of something) (disapproving) an extreme amount of a particular activity * The rebels went on an orgy of killing. * an orgy of spending

@ellecampbell3271

2 жыл бұрын

I learn so much on KZread! 63 and I had no idea! Orgy is simply not vocalised in Canada. Unless there is copious amounts of beer and weed. Music and food is our culture. We call it the weekend.

2:39 I mean....those are two VERY compelling arguments she makes.

It's like a dog barking over a fence, and than it stops once gate's open. 🤣

You've done it again, Russell! Hysterically funny 😂 Thank you for the laughs which are SO needed!

@FALslayer

2 жыл бұрын

@DILLIGAF * take your own advice

In protestors defence, when they do something effective the media complains, when it is ineffective Russell Howard makes fun of them.

@Fledhyris

2 жыл бұрын

No media is bad media though when it comes to getting your message across!

Thank you Mr Howard. We need humour now more than ever. Strange days indeed. Good luck everyone, hope we make it.❤️🇦🇺

Wow. I know the Austrians with the toilet brushes are kind of played for laughs, but I'll be honest; that's a pretty genius way to protest without getting arrested. I'd demand a full HAZMAT suit if I was a cop tasked with breaking that up, and I'd probably still need to take an hour-long shower after. "NO, YOU go out there and get the rest of them! God, I can still feel all the bristles..."

I think he's being a bit optimistic with his helicopter mime...

4:30 "orgy of violence" is actually an existing expression, but not in English. Next time they might wanna use a professional translator instead of Google to quote a public statement.

@TheDominic56

2 жыл бұрын

Got it. It just sounds funny.

NZ, you gotta love the Kiwi’s LOL 😂

@larapalma3744

2 жыл бұрын

Yes oh we do ya mate Then say sorry Like violent Canadians lol

@Kat-mu8wq

2 жыл бұрын

@@larapalma3744 I mean Canadian fishermen litterely skin baby seals alive.. Canadians are only nice if you're a human.

So happy to see some happiness in a torrid world. Oh wait so dumb. Thanks Russell. Please stay safe.🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿😁😷👍.

Right wingers: "they're coming for christmas" Tesco advert with 'don't stop me now playing': *shows Santa with vaccine passport to make it clear that Christmas isn't cancelled* Right wingers not understanding anything: "fascist wankers!"

@stocktonjoans

2 жыл бұрын

@I play GTA stop talking bollocks and grow up

@stocktonjoans

2 жыл бұрын

@I play GTA and yet here i am, alive and healthy, your bullshit conspiricy doesn't really hold up to scrutiny, does it?

@stocktonjoans

2 жыл бұрын

@I play GTA biden is a prick, have fun with your assumption

@spliffyrodgers4266

2 жыл бұрын

@I play GTA you realise that theres treatments and programs for low functioning neurodivergent people right? You should look into it

@blackeyedsusan727

2 жыл бұрын

@I play GTA hitting the pills rather hard, are we?

3:45 "Yeah, it's not one of my better moves". Also, who's missing their asthma inhaler - is it him?

Seeing Russell tonight. Can’t wait to see him live…👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

@markedwards7296

Жыл бұрын

I would like to see him live too….in the street…. Getting laughs out of our queens passing, will be worth bumping into him for !

@siha102

Жыл бұрын

@@markedwards7296 bet you’re a hoot at parties

This was definitely uploaded because of the Everton v Newcastle incident. Russell never ceases to be funny though😂

Thanks russell so much , your a major reason I keep holding on.

Who's got the time to go the supermarket, fill a trolly full of food, and walk out without buying anything LOL.

@larapalma3744

2 жыл бұрын

Me

@larapalma3744

2 жыл бұрын

But I just do it for fun

Thank you for this one. Though I don’t miss having to live in Germany, I do miss my SKY Satellite and those commercials. Thanks again Russell. 🤗

Can't wait to see your show next week in Ottawa. Been a fan for years!!!

Absolutely brilliant mate

@Russell Howard, Hi Russell from Grimsby, Ontario Canada. I really enjoy watching your videos. I have severe chronic lower back and neck pain. Most nights I can't sleep because of my chronic pain. I binge watch your videos when I can't sleep. Watching your videos helps me forget about my chronic pain. Thank you for making your videos.

@emilyduckworth5490

2 жыл бұрын

I wish you all the best with dealing with your chronic pain. From Manchester, England

@claircarlson5966

2 жыл бұрын

Oh I sympathise with you . Same here with the chronic pain. The nights can be endless

But because it's New Zealand & not the US..... 😅 Priceless

Sometimes I'm amazed on some people lack of self criticism....that metro video, those guys watched it, and was like how? "Mates, that's fucking brilliant, the whole country is going to sing this tommorow!"

@randyschwaggins

2 жыл бұрын

Mate when you look at that bunch you can identify at least 6 different mental disorders. For them appearing on shows like this is a dream come true.

2:37 She's done her bit for plastic recycling

My cats and dog wouldn’t care about labels being switched they're greedy bastards and will eat anything.

Now New Zealand is a civilised country!!

@larapalma3744

2 жыл бұрын

Mostly harmless

the tesco fiasco story reminded me of the young ones for some reason lol

@mediokay508

Жыл бұрын

Vyv would come up with the idea, Mike would suggest covering the perishables with the cereal, they'd get Neil to move the trolley, and Rick would be the one to take the credit and get banned from the supermarket.

Oh your so funny, I love ❤ your shows..thank you x

Hehe, No matter what the subject you always make me laugh so hard, I'd love to be around you for the day 🤣🤣🤣❤

Quarantined with COVID and Russell cheers me up so much ♥️🤒

Russell is simply the BEST. LMAO

To be fair she was there to get people talking about the climate crisis and you're doing just that so I think she got it right

@GreencampRhodie

Жыл бұрын

Climate crisis - bulltish.

@ConstantChaos1

Жыл бұрын

@@GreencampRhodie lnfao good joke

@GreencampRhodie

Жыл бұрын

@@ConstantChaos1 less of a joke than the criminal "climate crisis" global cult.

@carolparry4077

8 ай бұрын

Got to be honest, I don't think it was climate change folk were discussing.

@ConstantChaos1

8 ай бұрын

@carolparry4077 yeah it wasn't the focus of the conversation but it surely came up lol

Man I been binging his streams. I had no clue the UK had a John Stewart.

I love your channel keep up the great stuff

The "music video". I like the guy in the background didn't look up when they started chanting.

Sorry, Russell, but saying "an orgy" of something is perfectly legit. Defined as "an instance of excessive indulgence in a specified activity", e.g "an orgy of buying" doesn't refer to people shagging their groceries.

@ryanslack2666

2 жыл бұрын

This might come as a shock, but he was joking.

Hi Russell. I'm writing this on the 23rd March 2022. I just wanted to say have a great birthday! You're my favourite comedian ever.

I feel like Mister gluing my head to the road wasn't one of my better moves has some James May vibes

We need another one. So many people have gone on strikes and protests it would be hilarious to see

Toilet brushes AAAAAAAAAAND foil hats (*to keep out the aliens) !!! 🤣😂👽👾

Shopping trolley at 9 mins doesn't seem to contain any 'perishable food' 🤣

That's the circle/district line.... Russell! Mate!

@larapalma3744

2 жыл бұрын

Ah the circle line.. . Never again thanks

New Zealand seems so good compared to the UK tbh

@larapalma3744

2 жыл бұрын

Shhhhhhh lol

Really hope that the "Showing Your Hooters To Stop The Polluters" movement takes off!

Lawrence Fox is an absolute butter, the previous mayor of my hometown gifted a teddy bear to the town. The bear (named Mayor Bear) came with a letter explaining that they’re a non binary teddy bear. Lawrence Fox then lost his crap over it

@evilgoose6768

Жыл бұрын

lol, they accuse us of getting offended then they get mad over a non binary teddy bear

Only the Dutch can describe it as an “orgy of terror”

@Maknassar

2 жыл бұрын

Nope, austrian here. We use the same term. We describe stuff very literal Gewaltorgie /violence orgy Staubsauger / dustsucker (vacuum cleaner) Spielzeug / play stuff (toy) Flugzeug / fly stuff (plane) Fahrzeug / drive stuff (car) Feuerzeug / fire stuff (lighter) ... ...

@samuelp7116

2 жыл бұрын

@@Maknassar no I was referring to the joke of the Dutch are obsessed with sex/prostitution

For all of you who are old enough, Was that a pretty good impersonation of Rick from The Young Ones at the end.

You've got to feel sorry for the people on the back of that train

@GreencampRhodie

Жыл бұрын

I feel more sorry for those that are dumb enough or brainwashed into believing that respiratory excrement face nappies are safe, effective & fit for purpose in the situation in question. Total rtards.

@kylegoalby9063

Жыл бұрын

I know what a bunch of sticky toffee puddings

And we Americas are the dumb ones eh? I mean... we _are._ But we're in good company evidently.

Thx for the comedy m8

Tescos are fascists so I'm going to change that by ruining some poor person's day by leaving a whole trolley of shopping. That way some poor minimum wage worker can put it all back whilst I spend my day picking up shopping for no reason and hiding everything perishable because I'm an idiot... Well done, a massive company definitely cares about paying a fiver to put back the shopping you left because you have nothing better to do cos you don't need to actually work 👌 it's not like anyone canjust lift the ceral and see the trolley is full of perishable things because we all know Tesco only employs people with no hands 🤦‍♂️

Well the TU thing will certainly get attention to the climate change issue! Maybe that should happen everywhere? Either way, you never disappoint sir! Total Hoot!!!

David Attenborough nominated for a Nobel peace prize lmao we need to talk about this russ

@pheonixfire9517

2 жыл бұрын

He is? Thats awsome

@Poke-ladd

2 жыл бұрын

Congratulations to the legend

Titwank of Terror is gonna be my new metal band name.

If i was walking along that station platform i would get the next train and gladly be late

Wait the fart in your trousers old guy is Jeremy Corbyn's brother lol.

@anonymousinternetaddict

2 жыл бұрын

He'll do anything for money. That's not a throwaway either, he got tricked into accepting money to promote a vaccine then went away with a load of monopoly dollars

The protester at the Everton game needs to be on here

I was right! Canadians left Canada - it looks like USofA up here. Hey NZ, send back my Canucks!

@wannabikkit

2 жыл бұрын

NZ has been described as Australia's Canada..

@Nevertoleave

2 жыл бұрын

@@wannabikkit as a Canadian I am really interested in going too New Zealand. It’s just such a trip. From the pictures it reminds me of home. Which I like, but it’s also different which is even better

Do you regret the “gluing”? Lmfao in Vancouver.

The pettyness of that Tesco boycott was just halarious 😂

That guy who glued his head is why we have natural selection

2:38 amazing 😆

Love your stuff rus, but you do more repeats than dave with these clips

Must be behind on their bleach doses

Hi Russell

I told my dog that "Cat Food" was called that because it was made of Cats. He enjoyed them very much. I had to tell him that "Dog Food" was made out of Cows, Sheeps, Piggies and some Cats, so he was alright with that.

I was so sure that young protester against oil at the Everton game was going to be in this video…

Well if she wants to show me those to stop Climate change I'm on with that....they were fantastic!

@Karma-qt4ji

2 жыл бұрын

They were a "serious, serious matter" indeed!!

@duderyandude9515

2 жыл бұрын

Agreed. Some of the best I’ve ever seen! 😁

@DodderingOldMan

2 жыл бұрын

Really? I mean, I respect that everyone has different tastes, but honestly for me tits that fake have all the erotic appeal of two volleyballs filled with wet cement.

@chojin6136

2 жыл бұрын

"Up, up and away in my beautiful, my beautiful motor boat" Homer Simpson was obviously thinking of her when he sung that

That's why I always wear rubber trousers.

It's cute incorporating Denmark as having "protests", we don't really do that

@larapalma3744

2 жыл бұрын

U ate a prime minister!

@ploppyjr2373

2 жыл бұрын

@@larapalma3744 that was the Netherlands

he got new teeth he really needed to get his eye sorted🤣🤣

There IS good logic in wearing trousers AND UNDERPANTS to contain farts. We may still smell farts, but every so often, there is a small amount of waste expelled into underpants. If we weren't wearing underpants and/or trousers, those larger elements would be expelled into air, to fall onto ground, on seats, etc. That is the reason we developed underwear. It keeps our trousers, dresses cleaner, so that many people are happy to wear trousers, etc, multiple timesbefore washing. Anyone with a dodgy belly is even more likely to slightly soil their clothing, and without underpants/ trousers - and there are many who 'go commando,' so if we didn't wear trousers when we farted, there would be a hell of a lot more faecal matter on seats, etc. So the stupid chant is in fact, truly stupid.

@Rob-fc9wg

2 жыл бұрын

Which university did you study at to gain your PhD in fartology?

@Nevertoleave

2 жыл бұрын

Certainly not the type of people you take to Taco Bell. They seem the type to not realize the difference between when they need to fart or shit

What day of the week do you upload new content

"So far"

Piers Corbyn And The Disease Vectors, Herman Cain Award hopefuls of 2021. (Did any of them win by the way?)

Protest courteously

A jester in the king's court.

How very British.. lol..

I don't mind protesting people as such, but seriously, make sure you protest about something that actually means something and at least make sure you claim correctly, with evidence

@danquaylesitsspeltpotatoe8307

2 жыл бұрын

"make sure you protest about something that actually means something and at least make sure you claim correctly, with evidence" LOL well that excludes any covid related protests!

@NinjaChrisMainHQ169

2 жыл бұрын

@@danquaylesitsspeltpotatoe8307 Just get your jabs, and you don't have to worry anymore...Don't complain, it's done in like 30 seconds if that

I pity the cashiers that have to put all those trolleys and stock away. I had to do it once when power went out and all customers were asked to leave the store. , PAIN IN THE ASS.

you mention the toilet brush but not the foil on their head

Russell: 3 things Me: only 3?

Humanity is not worth saving.

What the world needs now is more politeness 💕

@stocktonjoans

2 жыл бұрын

fuck that

The mask song is horrendous !