I remember back in like 2018 when incels were the main topic on reddit, the most common "advice" people gave was literally "Just have good hygiene and dress nice bro"

@TerryProthero

Жыл бұрын

That's pretty solid advice. It won't get you a date on it's own, but it's definitely a good start.

@armoredlumberjack1999

Жыл бұрын

And also get jacked! That always gets staring and it feels great

@GallowayJesse

Жыл бұрын

Literally just be confident it's not that hard

@user-lh7mt7zo7l

Жыл бұрын

@@GallowayJesse Don't forget "just be yourself bro". The classics.

@flyingcactus1953

Жыл бұрын

@@GallowayJesse be confident doesn't help if you are ugly af though

Yeah honestly here’s how. Step 1: ask for name. This sounds stupid but really it’s the only way you can start a conversation that’s only starting because you want it to. It helps if you’re in a new group of people and can ask multiple peoples names around you, like a new class or something, makes it less direct/intimidating. Step 2: talk about the immediate things you’re doing in the environment around where you meet her. Again I’ll use class as an example, just be like “so did you do the hw yet?” Or something. Step 3: start talking about how you got to being in the environment you’re both in and why you’re there. This is important because it opens the door from small talk to talking about interests and things like that. The exact way how is something like “yeah I took this class because… (and say why)”. Then she’ll respond with why she did and how she got there. This is about where the general advice of “just be yourself” and all the normal advice comes in, with a caveat. If you’re just wanting to sleep with her, it’s more about making yourself seem as good as humanly possible and going in for the kill, and I don’t really like doing that so I don’t have much advice on that. If you’re looking to actually be in a relationship, though, you’re gonna want to kind of take her through a walk of your “mental garden” showing her the things that interest you and hopefully she’ll kind of take you through hers as well, and you’ll have good reason to ask for her number or on a date. I’ll say that actually courting a woman that way is pretty difficult now as most people just want to have a one night stand or something but that’s how you do it.

@gaelio3666

Жыл бұрын

Unfathomably BASED advise.

@chrysalis1670

Жыл бұрын

Yeah honestly no shit

@xanderabbey8529

Жыл бұрын

Wayyy better advice than 99% of adviceposts.

@Rubenz343

Жыл бұрын

Instructions unclear, got penis stuck on ceiling fan

@GreedyDrunk92

Жыл бұрын

I don't know what surprises me more: that you managed to create a step by step "how to breath guide" (which is said without mockery, such obvious things are the hardest to explain) or that there are people, who actually need it

"just be confident!" "just be yourself bro!" Timeless classics.

@MetalHopper

11 ай бұрын

Yep, just be confident doesn't always work cause confidence is build through positive experiences and sometimes being yourself is not enough.

@user-lh7mt7zo7l

11 ай бұрын

@@MetalHopper People often say "just be yourself" but often people are autistic lmao

@GMPOFloyd

Ай бұрын

It worked for me, and I’m artistic af. The only thing is that you don’t build confidence just by saying it. For me, it was the gym, now every time I see into the mirror is like looking at some other guy, and I’m glad for it

The obvious answer is to stop looking for dating advice and start looking for talking advice.

@Andoroid

Жыл бұрын

Best answer

@looking4anopportunity961

11 ай бұрын

The obvious answer is to stop looking for a date and finally concede :_)

@adeeshastha2479

6 ай бұрын

@@looking4anopportunity961 the obvious answer is too switch teams (game is game)

@looking4anopportunity961

6 ай бұрын

@@adeeshastha2479 bicon or smth idk

@easternsheep6995

Ай бұрын

Actually good advice. Talking to a speech pathologist or a therapist about social ineptitude or anxiety is really helpful.

It's a well established phenomena that people who are really really good at something, to the point where they can be considered experts, often make really bad teachers. This is because, since they were already intuitively good at the thing, they have no experience with struggling how to learn it, and as such have no way to relate to other people who are struggling. To them, it's like trying to explain how to breathe. This is true for both math professors and pick-up artists.

@vandalic8566

Жыл бұрын

Ted Kazcynski is a good example

@hhm4480

11 ай бұрын

@@vandalic8566wasn’t he a well liked professor

@vandalic8566

11 ай бұрын

@@hhm4480 nah

@TheGhostFart

11 ай бұрын

@@hhm4480 "The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race"

@Eye_Of_Odin978

2 ай бұрын

​@@TheGhostFart Being a teenager is worshipping Ted K. Being an adult is realizing McVeigh was actually onto something, and uncle Ted was just yapping

I think The internet has given me a thing for clown girls and I'm not even upset by it anymore.

@eatmynutsarchmage4883

Жыл бұрын

honk

@lagrangeCh.

Жыл бұрын

Clussy

@ferrucciocaracciuolo8139

Жыл бұрын

That the most normal fetish i have seen in a while.

@ShaddySoldier

Жыл бұрын

@@ferrucciocaracciuolo8139 honestly though

@Nomed38

Жыл бұрын

For me it all started with Batman: The Animated Series and I've been attracted to blonde haired blue eyed women that are a little crazy ever since.

Talking is just something you gotta do often to get good at. It's like a muscle that atrophies when you don't use it.

@yojirex6374

Жыл бұрын

This is exactly how it works. You just have to do it and, in case of anon, fail miserably the first couple times, until you start figuring it out. Most of those people never get to this point because they're too afraid to fail the first couple times.

The reason answers are vague is because you can't predict the situation in 100%, so it's up to the anon to make something up on the spot. This is a crucial communication skill that with internet is much harder to get as people communicate irl less. Don't look for a guide to getting a gf. Find a guide how to talk to people in general and practice irl.

@xanderabbey8529

Жыл бұрын

Watch me kidnap someone and lock them up in my basement and use them for talking practice.

@Kuzka_

Жыл бұрын

@@xanderabbey8529 I'm pretty sure a guide to general human communication will not say that you should kidnap someone. Something I didn't mention in the first message is that the best way to learn is by slowly trying things out and determine what's better based on people's reaction.

@Buto.7103

Жыл бұрын

What if no one want to talk to you?

@Kuzka_

Жыл бұрын

@@Buto.7103 Then there's probably a reason for that. I've heard many people sound disinterested, which caused others to not want to talk to them. I even recall a guy who would ignore the fact that someone else is already speaking and talk over this person about his own topic. And of course, an inconvenient truth, your appearances can also influence whether someone wants to talk or not. The very least you can do is watch how other people interact with eachother. It's not that different from video guides.

@Nomed38

Жыл бұрын

@@Kuzka_ I've seen plenty of people unfortunately talking over someone that is already talking though the perpetrators of that are usually women. The mirroring technique you suggest does work although care must be taken to not imitate horrendous behaviors which sadly is common more often than not. You're a good fren for trying to help someone out.

bro needs an excel spreadsheet of every social interaction and speech path

@astk5214

Жыл бұрын

Me too

@sunsetman22

Жыл бұрын

what you take for granted others simply lack

@beepo5448

Жыл бұрын

@@sunsetman22 i mean talk to them as you would talk to your friends or family, albeit skipping embarrassing things and such its also very easy to have a conversation if you share common interests thats just from my experience though

@terrormask2475

Ай бұрын

He most likely does if he’s on the spectrum. Autistic people literally make up a plan before they start the conversation. And if that plan fails they get super anxious. If they say something and the response they get is not something they have planned for - it’s game over. They become so stressed that they are unable to make up things on the fly. So they either shut down or say something really stoopid. Which makes things even worse.

As someone who used to be socially inept, just fake it till you make it. I remember studying the body language, vocal inflections, and other quirks of charismatic people until I forgot what I even did naturally before. The default just because pretending to be Chris Hemsworth or another actor during an interview until it became natural. Just putting out an equal level of energy as the other person in the conversation is often more than enough to form rapport. If they are expressive you can open up your body and copy them because people like similar people. Life is a combination of both fake and genuine interaction until eventually they blend into one. At least that's how I view it

@maelstrom2313

Жыл бұрын

This is a good tip for socially inept people. Being a social person is just like playing a role in a movie. Depending on the place and time you may have to act very differently. Most people have a clear idea of the personality they want to project in any situation and will play that role as best they can. People use popular culture and media tropes to define these roles, the cool guy, the bad girl, etc, as well as their own intuition and natural inclinations. You may be a nerd but when you're approaching a girl at party you dont necessarily want to lead with that, although you might, depending on the girl. Social rules are pretty fluid and most people are forgiving because virtually nobody is a perfect social butterfly. The only way to learn the rules is to figure it out by trial and error and by learning from other people's mistakes. Pretty much everyone is constantly terrified of social embarrassment, and all of us, even people who appear very confident, are always second-guessing ourselves on how to act or behave in different situations. Social anxiety is something everyone deals with, some better than others. It never actually goes away unless you're on some kinds of drugs. In our natural state, we can only learn to temper it down to a functional level where it isn't excessively intrusive.

@1234wowww

Жыл бұрын

I always say you just have to talk to people and talk to people and talk to people and learn by DOING it My social skills were good as a little kid but became garbage in middle school. In early highschool I started working in a restaraunt and I got really freakin good at talking to people (I got rid of some self esteem issues too and that made me WANT to talk to people and put myself out there. started rough but the more you do it the better you get) Now I consider myself pretty damn sociable, like you said just match the energy.

@StarboyXL9

11 ай бұрын

"Fake being someone you aren't to get relationships and friendships" If someone doesn't like who I want to be and am, I have zero desire to have any kind of relationship with them. Its unfortunate that you are all too busy copying each other to try and establish real relationships with substance.

@Strill_

Ай бұрын

So in other words, "don't be yourself at all."

@simonebernacchia

29 күн бұрын

​@@Strill_More like "be a carbon copy at first then add little doses of yourself very slowly"

Its about letting loose in my opinion. From my experience, incredibly introverted and incredibly inept socially. I saw a girl in the gym, had exchanged many glances and smiles but just couldn't muster-up the courage. It took a month until I finally went to talk to her; but when I did my throat was croaky and I struggled to get out the words. It was incredibly embarrassing. Fortunately she was expertly socially adept and managed to carry my initial bottle-job. Asking questions ect ect. For about a month I talked to her but one of my core issues is I hid much of my personality, not because I thought my personality was bad or weird but just because I built a shell around myself for years with social isolation. Lacking confidence in my own skin. I also noticed I had some pretty big red flags around myself, I got jealous when she talked to another guy one night, I talked to her too much via message and at some point I noticed she replied slower and seemingly was losing interest so instead of backing off I asked her out to which she rejected. What did I feel? Initially relief. Because that "chase" was built around a false version of myself, I simultaneously shared too much in a simpish way while also not revealing any of my likable/strange/eccentric characteristics out of fear of being seen weird. I revealed weaker parts of myself but never let the strong parts shine and women are attracted to the masculine parts of us. The relief was just because I no longer felt fear everytime I messaged her because I didn't want something to seem weird or odd. But that's probably what pushed her away. In my eyes, you gotta be confident and relaxed. Relaxation will allow you to speak without faltering and the confidence will back-up what you're saying. Its basic advice, but its all about feeling. Unless you're a master actor (or psychopath) you wont be able to speak to a girl like a rule book. Too many variables.

@shinobuoshino5066

4 ай бұрын

>exchanged many glances and smiles never happened to me

@GMPOFloyd

Ай бұрын

@@shinobuoshino5066It can happen to you if you slowly create the conditions for it to happen. Always things that you can control.

Even worse is "get a personality". What does it even mean?

@sunsetman22

Жыл бұрын

I think it implies that most people can't get anything just by being "themselves", they must put up some sort of front or persona that isn't genuine in order to entice anyone.

@jonahkluger6136

21 күн бұрын

It can mean a lot of things, but namely it is to talk about experiences you have had rather than things you like. So instead of saying you like something, explain an experience you had with said thing. Preferably something which took place in the real world, lets the listener form an idea about who you are and something not inside a game/movie/book etc. You can talk about an experience related to book/movie/game though, like the effort it took to gather all your friends together to watch this new movie you all like.

He doesn't understand that normies really can just talk without being in their own heads and thinking out and planning the things they say.

@shrekmeharder6983

Жыл бұрын

Is normie just a term for non-autistic people now or something?

@hahahahanope7659

Жыл бұрын

@@shrekmeharder6983 Normie has become a word that ppl have so diluded down in sense and thrown around to feel special about themself, that your question might aswell just be the answer at this point , to be honest

@white_hound6811

Жыл бұрын

​@@shrekmeharder6983if you have to ask you are a normie

@GallowayJesse

Жыл бұрын

​@@shrekmeharder6983always has been

@Andoroid

Жыл бұрын

Must be nice

Yah just talk to her, lol so i can get reported for sexual harrasment? Sure brah lol

@eatmynutsarchmage4883

Жыл бұрын

only if your ugly 😊

@funny3291

Жыл бұрын

Why, is having a conversation with someone a sexual harassment?

@realAdamSandler69

Жыл бұрын

@@funny3291 when you are ugly or awkward it is

@Rubenz343

Жыл бұрын

You'll never get bitches with this mindset

@funny3291

Жыл бұрын

@leavemealonejewtube I disagree, I've seen his content, and he ain't ugly, he also got a good personality going from him too.

Option 1. Be born attractive so people aren't repulsed by your mere presence Option 2. Be born with parents that aren't insane and actively destroy your humanity Option 3. Get a time machine so you can begin learning conversation at a lower level and gradually become better instead of being trapped in an endless cycle of social reclusion Option 4. Keep dating and failing so much you become so good at faking it that you can get girls to like you but they always leave you when they see the real you and you end up as one of those old guy sexpats Option 5. Live long enough for Android wives to be invented

@StarboyXL9

11 ай бұрын

Haydee

@simonebernacchia

29 күн бұрын

She got the thick but has in the sequel this habit to look at you with contempt ​@@StarboyXL9

>why is all the normie advice so lazy >why wont anyone give me a step by step guide to courting women pick a poison anon

@user-xi5ej4ox5s

13 күн бұрын

NO U

"Just be handsome and rich dude" Normal people dating advice "I need a 1000 step strategy for if she says she has to leave" Internet neurotics

@pavelthefabulous5675

23 күн бұрын

"If she leaves, she leaves." -Ivan Drago

If you're this socialy inept you're gonna have to first practice how to talk to any person normally

I used to be pretty depressed and talking about it with others made me realize this difference between good advice and actually useful advice. Like yeah "just talk to her" is good advice, but anyone with half a brain can come to this conclusion on their own, making it not useful. You kind of just have to figure out and internalize things on your own a lot of the time

how to get hoes step 1 be handsome and 6'3 step 2 get hoes if step one doesnt work ... rope

That's because aside from universal things like that all women respond differently. Most normies out here know only 1-2 approaches that worked for a few women (likely, not the one you want), or are playing easy mode due to their hotness. And most people stop working on their flirting game once they settled. True seducers (average looking people having a costant influx of succesful casual dates) are quite rare. And for long term relationships, you can't build them on flirting alone unless you're a narcissist who enjoys constant pretending. You need sincere mutual liking.

to all the introverted dudes out there, the best way to talk to women is to drop the whole idea of getting into a relationship with the woman you're talking to. most dudes i know literally have entire life long visions of being together with a woman they barely met and thus cripple themselves in self doubt and anxiety, the secret to talking to women is to talk to them like they're normal people. Curb stomp any thoughts about fucking her or marrying her when talking to her because you're most likely not gonna do either with her so just find a woman you can enjoy talking to.

Unironically the hardest greentext

Normie advice for anything is so stupid usually. Half of it is, "get a full night's rest" and "drink water"

Anon, as a girl, I deeply relate to you and I too was socially inept. I barely had more than one irl friend at the time in my school life and for the life of me I do run out of shit to talk about and thus ackward silence ensues.

@StarboyXL9

11 ай бұрын

Its only awkward if you make it so. I've hung out with my guy friends for hours playing vidya with nary a word, and we're both comfortable in that space. I've also had times where we're engaged in conversation and I run out of things to talk about so I just stop talking and we sit there waiting for one of us to think of something to continue to the conversation, no awkwardness there either. But then again maybe I'm just lucky enough to have found friends autistic enough to vibe with.

Underageb& still hasn't figured out that this advice only works with the looks skill check.

ask if she likes bread

Bruh why is Donald Trump giving me dating advices💀

The real best advice is to go to consistent events where you will regularly see the same people. IE Community service events, group hiking trips, book clubs etc. From there you will be able to spend time with people organically instead of having to create something from nothing. Conversations are easier when you already know a little bit about people already. It is also important to be bold with your questions, not controversial but just bold. Mention something, she does, or your opinion that deviates from the norm. Most people who can just walk up and talk to a girl are innately attractive or naturally have an approachable demeanor.

So it's gonna be an advice that is harder to put in life than to say but it's needed to be said. Have some COMMON sense. The amount of times my wife went on to a chatting app and got into uncomfortable situations is unreal. Most guys either just want to show their junk, get free pics, meet for sex and that's about it. They can't keep a normal conversation, they are unpolite, mean, aggressive and can't take "no" as an answer. If you are really wanting to keep contact with someone then treat them with respect. Show that you can listen, share your interests with each other and chat about them, maybe try the other persons interests to have something to talk about and share experience. Don't overly compliment them either. They are not a statue of a goddess that needs to be praised. Comment on small things like their new nail colour, that their clothes really fit them/that they look really good today but don't overdo. Have interest in their wellbeing, because they have good and bad days just like men do. And make sure to mean what you say and not sound like you are just reading a script of compliments. Hope you guys (and girls) find this useful ^^

The dating advice ain’t lazy, is just not that complicated ONCE you overcome your social awkwardness/anxiety which means annon should first work in a different area before he starts… talking with his human fellows for romance

To be honest, I got better just by working a job that I hate for many years. You lose a lot of the normal inhibitions and the fear of rejection. From being at the ass end of so many of those meetings, I know what the worst case scenario feels like, yet I have not been fired yet. So I really will just go on that date and say what comes to mind, as a general rule.

Redeemable incel must charismaxx

It also helps if you are a liar who can fabricate a believable story about how the girl in question looks exactly like someone you met from somewhere else and you just had to talk to them. I saw a guy I knew from high school hit on a girl. He lied about the high school he went to, his major and the people he associated with just to win over the girl and it worked. I was dumbfounded.

@multiversetraveller3118

Жыл бұрын

Fr. Many of these guys are real smooth talkers. If most of us try that shit, it usually never works. Meanwhile these guys can message a random girl and make them fall. It's not even related to looks since some of these guys are pretty average. It's just a skill now perhaps due to earlier relationship experience.

>JUST BEEEEEEEEEEEEE URSELF BRO 🐝🐝🐝 Until you're experienced enough to not give a shit, this bit of "advice" isn't just unhelpful, it's actively harmful.

@stann4730

7 күн бұрын

Get off the internet

anon is asking some real questions

Tell her about how Kakyoin is best boi, what he can do with a cherry, how German engineering is the best in the world, and how SpeedWagon is your waifu She’ll be falling into your arms in no time

Took trial and error for me, but i can talk to people pretty normally. Hell i used to hate talking cause id never know what to say like this guy, eventually got together with a girl on a game when i was 12, about a year younger than me at the time, and holy hell i cannot stress this enough, my life literally changed forever because of her. Anon just need the confidence to be himself.

@jonathansibrian695

Жыл бұрын

Same trash advice >just be confident anon Yea no shit you have to be confident to talk

@Nikotheleepic

Жыл бұрын

seems like you really understand where he is coming from, considering you were 12 years old when you figured it out

@SC-jq9og

Жыл бұрын

>when I was 12 dawg this is a grown ass man your life changed forever at 12 ? that's called puberty

So what you really need to do is Go to "Settings" Go to "General" Choose "Difficulty Settings" Ignore the Difficulty slider Go to "Advanced Settings" Now select "Communication Difficulty" and set it to "Normie"

Just don't overthink it Anon.

with socializing and flirting, it’s something that you gotta practice to get better at. it sucks that you just have to do it, so challenge yourself and take some risks. just break the ice in one strike, it feels random and weird, but it works if you just go up to someone and start talking to them like you’re acquaintances already. i like to have a go to question to ask someone, something where the answer will give me a good idea of what kind of person they are. my go to is “describe your music taste to me in 3 words.” people like talking about themselves, so all you have to do is ask a question and listen. then if they ask you a question back, that’s a success! it means they want the conversation to continue. you can make some good friends through this

Step 1: be chad Step 2: Don't be not chad. Step 3: Go back to steps 2 and 1.

Sounds like anon is skipping ahead some crucial steps. He might need to first learn how to talk to people in general. Human interaction is complex, there's no step by step manual that can cover every possible direction a conversation can take. But there are some basic principles that might help when taken into consideration. First, just like everything in life, effective communication takes practice. You need to fail often so you learn what to do and what not to do. It might be better to practice with strangers, though. That way, it won't be too embarrassing to have to see them again later after you said something wrong. Or maybe practicing with family and friends is your best option since they are loving and understanding. It depends on your particular case. Second, do not filter out everything you want to say before you say it. Doing that makes you feel nervous and also leaves you with no words. Of course, not everything that comes to mind will be appropriate, but again, with practice you'll fine tune the right level of filtering. Third, try to avoid yes or not questions as much as possible. This type of questions don't leave enough room for conversation since all they ask for is a yes or a no. Instead, use open ended questions, that is, mostly the ones that start with a "wh" word (who, what, why, how, etc.). This type does leave room for conversation since the answer can literally be anything. For example, if you're riding the bus or the train and you want to start a conversation with a stranger, you might want to avoid saying "Hey, does this train stop at x?" since that will only yield a yes or no answer. Instead, you might want to say something like "Hey, how far does this train go?... Where is your stop?". Of course, one thing to be careful with is to not make people feel like they're being interrogated. Again, practice makes perfect. Lastly, consider that all of us are also humans, struggling with the same complexities of human interaction as you are. Don't talk to anyone like they're an alien or a different species. Just talk to them like you'd want to be talked to. And just like you might, sometimes people won't want to be talked to in a particular moment. When that happens, just be polite and leave them be. There'll be other times and other people.

@lv1543

Жыл бұрын

Unfortunately when all the human interaction someone has is being lecutured or negative experiences, anons usually have no point of reference to what a good interaction looks like. Theyre often shut down hard immediately without any knowledge on how to recover or not get shut down from the get go.

Talk to her like you talk to anyone else. Of course that means the way you talk to anyone else should be kind understanding and empathetic. Make it a two way street, not just you monologuing about warhammer for an hour lmao. If its a niche hobby or something, ease her into.

@ramendude4062

Жыл бұрын

Ok, how do you talk to anyone else?

@astk5214

Жыл бұрын

I don't understand it, i don't want to fuck everybody i talk to, I've already have enough friends, because of this specific advice i stopped looking for a partner

@ihaveanaceupmysleeveandits1611

Жыл бұрын

@@ramendude4062 I already wrote about it. Conversation isn't about you it's about you both. Empathy, understanding and then problem solving if It's something about advice. If someone tells you something it's good to note it and then adjust accordingly. Eg: you talk to a girl, she tells you she was bullied over her looks or something else, then you don't start joking about her looks or whatever she's sore about. Conversation is about fostering safety. Once you feel safe with someone then conversation becomes intuitive

@StarboyXL9

11 ай бұрын

@@ihaveanaceupmysleeveandits1611 What is this "empathy" you speak of? Can I eat it?

A good piece of advice is, learn to be comfortable in your own skin, and learn to not take a rejection personally! Also, learn why you got rejected and look at yourself, no one is perfect, not me or you A potential dating prospect is a person, if they seem interesting, go and have a chat, if they’re uninterested in having a chat, don’t waste your time

This is somewhat relatable tbh, but what you will find is that no step by step script will get you anywhere long term. Start with a simple, legitimate question. Tough at times since we all can google everything but when I was trying to learn to talk to people, I left my phone at home, so I could ask for directions or the time. Ask about a notable feature of them, if they seems to be into art, or music or the gym, or anything really, preferrably relatable to you, ask her about that. Trial and error. Eventually, you´ll find that with some people it´s easier than with others independent of how much you try, how nice you are etc and it will become more about finding the right people to talk to and less about maintaining a conversation. Among people who are somewhat socially comfortable and conversationally adept, between people who have little in common, there will be no conversation, whereas people with common interests, ideals, or thought patterns will quickly notice each other and skip the very general stuff.

you need to expose yourself to these situations so you get comfortable in them and know how to talk, so yeah just talk to her

I mean it doesn't need to be complicated like that, the more you think about it the harder it gets, so just talk about anything you feel comfortable with, that easily builds trust between people and thats a great starting point for making friends or even starting a relationship.

Find something you want to talk about, then talk about it. Don't go full throttle off the bat about your deepest & most intense interests though - in the moment, the thing you will probably mostly want to talk about is her - so ask about her name/what shes doing/etc.

gotta do this with biden voice

Says he is lost for words and can't think of anything to talk about yet rambles about his anxiety fluently. He should ask girls basic things like "Oh I was watching this show, have you seen it yet?" etc. Just ask about basic interests to get a convo rolling. It's easy if you're not in a poor mood.

Honestly the best thing you can do is be an interesting person to be around. Get some hobbies, learn a second language, etc. but don’t forget to make yourself presentable as well.

You can ask if they're in college and then talk about school stories and friends and stuff

Just talked to her. It didn't work out.

One way that might help that I've heard is to try to practice the ford method Family Occupation Recreation Dreams

it do be like that, tho. can't predict every single interaction you'll have with another human being. I know, I tried before and it always fails

Learn through trial and error. Everyone did that at some point, the difference is just that normies did so when they were still kids and you do it now after becoming an adult. As humans we can literally learn anything through trial and error because we are neurologically wired like that. Even if it's tough at first or takes some time. Their advice isn't lazy and they aren't better than you, they just failed and learned more than you did.

@theRPGmaster

2 ай бұрын

This is the actual, real, useful advice. Everyone pay attention.

@user-xi5ej4ox5s

13 күн бұрын

​@@theRPGmaster this advice is bad because you will be rejected way too many times and this is extremely agonizingly painful for an ego.

@theRPGmaster

13 күн бұрын

@@user-xi5ej4ox5s You have a too low threshold for emotional pain if you think this way, that's harmful in itself. At some point, the only way you can learn is the hard way. Then you have to accept the hard way.

@user-xi5ej4ox5s

13 күн бұрын

@@theRPGmaster you have to accept unwashed paeniz covered in $ніт in your mouth then.

@user-xi5ej4ox5s

13 күн бұрын

@@theRPGmaster you have to accept unwashed paeniz covered in rotten $ніт in your mouth then.

why trump reading 4chan

"How the hell am I supposed to just 'talk' when I don't know how that works." Maybe anon should be asking how to talk instead of asking for dating advice.

Gonna need tips for the actual dating part as well Like yeah, more "just talk to her", "be yourself" & "don't be weird" like those last 2 can be done at the same time in this case, but what actual usable tips then?

@KnightoftheSorryFace

11 ай бұрын

I'm not so sure the last 2 can be done at the same time in the case of most 4chan users

The real answer is "practice". In order to practice you need low stakes. Don't put of "talking" until the last, potentially life changing moment. Talk to girls/women without any intend behind it. Try out jokes. Keep up on current events because "how about the game last night" will actually lead to a nice conversation eventually. Consistency is key to improvement. The hero moment, where you finally make that super human effort to solve your problems once and for all, is never going to come. Practice every single day. Be prepared to fail. Your jokes will bomb. Your small talk will have uncomfortable pauses. People will mishear/misunderstand you and you them. Who cares? You will care. It will feel bad and when it feels bad you have to let that motivate you to get better. This is the life of a human bean: you can feel the pain and grow or you can feel the pain that comes from avoiding pain and be a fcking 0 forever.

My personal favorite is “you just have to put yourself out there.” The fuck does that even mean? Should I be making a listing on Facebook marketplace? Writing a yard sale sign or some shit?

@NTVT1999

11 ай бұрын

It means be out in the world, where conversations happen. If you’re in college, join societies or clubs. If you’re an adult, attend a yoga class, a reading group, a local church coffee morning etc… The reason people can be good communicators is because your brain makes neurological shortcuts if you do it enough. “Keeping the convo going” literally becomes muscle memory once you find out who you’re talking to, what you have in common, and what you’re trying to get out of the convo. That’s because at some point you’ve seen enough permutations of each category that you’re literally choosing which mental road you’re walking down again, as opposed to generating anything new.

@NucleaRaptor

3 ай бұрын

@@NTVT1999 I'll be damned, some actual solid advice.

You don't go on benching 100kg, start small. Talk to a stranger, try to make friends.

Literally just make friends and talk to them. Then talk to strangers like you talk to your friends. Boom, that's it. It weeds out people who won't like you after you spend time getting to know them, and makes it easier for you to talk because you aren't trying to put up some charming facade.

As someone who can just walk up to random women and get a laugh out of them, the dating advice scene (and women especially) just assume that there's no friction between you and a conversation with any random person. Like there IS a barrier to entry when just initiating small talk with a person, and transitioning from casual conversation to expressing interest takes actual know-how. But people go on all the time about how it's so easy to rizz someone up like bro/sis/my thigga you can't even handle eye contact while passing by people you see every day.

Just be 6 ft and be Chad anon

I can get getting nervous but the way that Anon is explaining it, sounds like he needs weed or alcohol to relax him cuz this dude is straight up wound up so tight that talking, a normal human function, is an unattainable skill to him.

1)Devlop confidence by getting really good at something firfilling things like video games for most wont do it. 2) get into hobbies that can be shared, and discussed about. 3) devlop passions that you can preoccupy time with and discuss 4) have new and enjoyable experinces especially ones that put you in piblic areas and can be shared. 5) really just talk to them like a normal person ask thier name, and for thier insta first it comes kff a bit less personal than a phone number 6) dont be pushy or creepy learn to accept no, thise that want to play games are not worth ur time 2-4 gives subjects to talk about and make you more confident in and when talking in those areas.

If that's the level of the problem then there's some way more serious stuff to work on before thinking about dating

Just be yourself Nobody else is you, so its on you to figure out what "Just be yourself" means for you, who you even are, how that fits into everything else in existence etc. If you never done that: Welcome to life and what people call "thinking", good luck, it aint easy and in most cases there wont be an absolute answer with things a vague and malueable as a human personality So go with your flow You do you xoxo

@astk5214

Жыл бұрын

I don't want to be myself i want to be loved, i can be myself alone in the woods or on the internet

If you need help on just basic talking, literally just practice talking, to anyone. Employees at a store, friends and family. Just really put 100% effort into every conversation, it’ll be hard at first, you might struggle a lot. But eventually you’ll get better, don’t treat every interaction with a girl as an opportunity to get a girlfriend, but an opportunity to learn to better communicate. If you do that for long enough you’ll notice a massive change in your behaviour and ability to communicate as a whole.

Bruh what else are they gonna say, every person is different you're not gonna get a step by step tutorial to get a gf

Why does it sound like Al from Home Improvement narrating this?

that voice is familiar

You need a basic socializing course then. Which involves........... just talking to people. Tell the old lady who is watering her plants that her plants look great while you are walking past her garden. Maybe you two will exchange 2 or 3 more irrelevant sentences. Ask that random dude in the waiting line where he got his cool tattoo done. Maybe you two will also exchange 2 or 3 more irrelevant sentences. Thats how you learn to make small talk. And this lowers the difficulty of starting a conversation when it finally counts. If you want to be able to do something, you need practice. Of course thats obvious advice, but people still always ignore it. Maybe thats too much of the martial artist in me talking, but you cannot prepare for a fight with a checklist. You need to actually be able to fight to make the right calls. So instead of asking for a checklist, start practicing the shit you want to learn!

It's worse than you think. I listen to the conversations my 'normie' classmates have and it's the most random irrelevant shit you can think of.

practice🤷🏾‍♂️ idk what to tell you chief

Ohhhh OK. Sometimes you need to sorta detach your self from the situation when you talk to her. Try to get a feel of things and always be honest. Hey I'm a little nervous talking to you so that's why I'm being weird. She'll probably ask why and just be honest, you aren't used to talking to new people. It's a little hard but keep your chin up. They're just like you bro

Omg why is Joe Biden reading me 4chan posts we are in the future

Me 15 seconds into the video: PRESIDENT TRUMP???

"Just go talk to them" is really what women need to be given as advice instead of all the bullshit mind games...

So vague… How I do it is give detailed options like “Ask if She likes anime, then name an example” Not just have a personality. If She doesn’t like You for Yourself, then You’ll never truly be happy with Her.

The reason a lot of advice seems so shallow is because tons of dudes will literally sit on their ass at home, and somehow have this magical thinking that they will randomly score a 10/10 girl with 0 effort. So yeah, take a shower, start dressing nicely, try your best to become a person you are actually comfortable being so you dont have to be terrified to be yourself.

this dude sounds like if Biden and Trump were combined

In that case 1. learn to talk with people 2. follow the generic steps

What anon doesn’t realize is human interaction is nuanced and doesn’t really have a derivative formula in order to perfect it, so you can’t really get tips or advice outside of surface level things without getting into case by base basises

Was that AI Trump voice

You know. First try talking with friends. Get social. Then it can be a girlfriend.

Ibz posting on main

Talk to female coworkers You'll realize there's nothing special about the other variant of humans

The problem is you're asking people who were never bad at it, and therefore have no clue what they're doing right.

Bros, I'm a bit of an autist. The only way to learn how to talk to people is to do it. Go out, have uncomfortable conversations. Spend like a month lying to strangers that you spoke to them the other day about something. Learn to feel out how to ask to know more about them. Like there's no step by step guide, you need to go out and DO the thing. The world is a massive place and there are 8 billion people on the planet. No guide is going to be a comprehensive guide to learning how to chat with all of them, just get out there and eat shit until you figure out the basics, then move on from there.

What? Most people love to talk about themselves. If you don't know what to say just ask questions about them and _actually pay attention._ Most people would love to be ones carrying the conversation. But don't ask stupid factual questions as if you were a customs officer at the airport. Ask them how they feel about shit, or how was their day, not "Where do you live?", "How many siblings do you have?". How many people don't know that?

This anon sounds like someone on the autism spectrum. My first piece of advice would be to get diagnosed for that if that hasn't been done already. Next. He needs to decide if dating is even something he wants. It's not for everyone. Especially for autistic people. Don't just assume it's a good idea because everyone is telling you that's what you have to do it. I made that mistake, and it caused me nothing but problems. And then if the person actually wants a relationship, it's going to be a marathon rather than a sprint. This person hasn't even developed the most basic social skills. Romantic relationships are the most complex type of social interaction you can have. That's like the boss level creature in a video game. You don't do that first. You need to level up. And with this person, that's probably going to take a decade or two working on social skills, building non-romantic relationships, etc. You need to be comfortable with other people and to be comfortable in your own skin before you are ready for this. And the other thing to keep in mind is that relationships for autistic people are not the same as for neurotypicals. Social interactions are more difficult and require more energy. And so we need to be more selective about who we have them with. And that would be especially important in romantic relationships. We're not going to be compatible with as many potential partners. And we tend to have close relationships with a small number of people. So, that's going to change a person's approach to dating quite a bit.

This worked back when femcels weren't a thing. Now you talk to her and she hits you with that feminist stare

The amount of unhelpful dating advice (or more accurately, *getting a date* advice) I'd absorbed before losing my V card was staggering. General confidence is one thing, but in the end you gain confidence with women from experience with women. You can't get experience with women if you don't have confidence around women, and you can't be confident around women if you don't have experience with them. Let me be clear. If you still have your V card, the psychological weight of having it will drive women away. Idk why nobody talks about this, it's really obvious to people who remember a time before they lost it.

Probably because you say advices as if that's the plural form.

All these kids in the comments failing, how poetic

Here it is: Talk to her and start some small conversation. Maybe do some leading questions like "Are you in school still?" "What are you studying?" "Why are you choosing that?" "I'm doing so and so" Use that opportunity to see if they reciprocate. Basically, you just want to know if they are friendly. Then you can start to know them better in future conversations. You should build up enough rapport to learn what they like and then ask them to do something together. All the times I've asked girls out I just said "You wanna do x or go to y some day?" Then they say yes or no. Then the first date is more about experiencing stuff with them to see if they would vibe well with you. Second date you can start to move small moves, maybe try to touch her hand or sit closer to her. Obvious things that will 100% make sure the girl knows you are into her. Sometimes she will do that too. The key is not messing that up, so you have to make it natural. If you already were touchy with her before, then this is way easier. I remember just grabbing my first GF's hand when we went on a date because I was showing her around some place I knew. I was leading her to spots I wanted her to see. Everything else is just how well you interact with each other. Body language is really important. My first GF had a crush on me, so she was really easy to get physical with. Other girls I had to work up to.

If you're bad at talking to people, talk to more. You're bad. Get better. Skill diff.