YESSSSS! Thank you sooooo much. I went to my son's first clinical pre school to observe when he was almost 2. As I watched from the one sided glass my son was all on his own wandering. A room with 5 adults to 6 children there was a table set up unattended with play dough. My son grabbed a glob of play dough and retreated into a pop up tunnel and spent the next 5 minutes eating play dough before anyone went to look for him. I didn't interrupt as I wanted to see how long it would take an adult to recognize what was going on. Mind you this was a clinical treatment preschool setting. They had another table set up during that same visit which had photocopies of a set of pretend teeth on them. And tooth brushes with toothpaste. They were having the kids put tooth paste on the tooth brush and brush the teeth on the paper???? My son brushed his teeth all on his own from the time he started teething. He got his first vibrating tooth brush when he began teething at 3 or 4 months old. After that day my son would take his tooth brush and try to brush things with it. I hate to say it but it pissed me off honestly. I'm no trained "proffessional" but at that point I knew these individuals were under qualified to be providing services.

@marybarbera

5 жыл бұрын

Wow that is scary to hear!! happy you knew something was off.

This has been very helpful for a case study i am working on, thankyou!

@marybarbera

3 жыл бұрын

I'm so glad!

“That’s not socialization. That is a waste of his time.” Bingo! Most true thing I’ve ever heard. Thank you for the amazing content.

@marybarbera

4 ай бұрын

I'm so happy that this resonated with you! If you're looking for more resources, visit MaryBarbera.com/links-yt

As someone on the autism spectrum myself (now a PHD student at Chapman University and former Special Ed Student back in the day) who has presented internationally about this topic, what is your response about knowing the hands-on realms of socialization (recreation, leisure, visual & performing arts, indoor play, outdoor play, etiquette, hosting, school spirit activities, knowing how to a be a friend, dating, etc). The problem with assessment is that many of them fail to address any activity specific knowledge about socialization. I say this from experiencing first hand not knowing how to make friends back in the day, lacking knowledge of many extracurricular settings (from not knowing how to dance for school dances to not knowing when to clap in auditorium audiences to lack of knowledge of many games on the playground, to no one dating me in high school, to not knowing what student government was, to taking sayings like "don't talk to strangers" so literal that I thought the other kids were strangers, and many other examples). I am convinced that part of the problem is that many of the assessments I have seen are behavior scale tests given to the parents, and many are quantitative and focus on the speech and communication aspects of social skills. I am convinced based on my own experience and some things I have heard from others online and on the autism conference circuit that leads me to the hypothesis that autism may result in some persons being BEGINNERS in social skills who do not learn these skills well inferential or vicariously who sometimes benefit from direct teaching in this arena. I am also convinced that many of the commercial assessment instruments for socialization need to include first person perspective rather than just third person (parent or teacher perspective) and need to focus more than just a likert style behavior scale. In addition, socialization requires knowledge of many different settings and realms, not just communication. There is a lot of activity specific knowledge in youth socialization. For example, the skills needed to dine at the school cafeteria are going to be different from knowing how to form a team and play soccer or basketball with a group of friends or classmates at recess. From my own analysis of the hidden curriculum that I did on my own free time (took me several years to do) and dissected about 25 years of my own childhood along with search analysis and eventually turned it into a 57 page paper, I am very convinced that the qualitative data is needed to analyses one's social skills and involves skills in multiple contexts. Those contexts include recreation, leisure, indoor and outdoor play, visual & performing arts, school spirit activities, culture, communication, conversation skills, knowledge of banter, jokes, and humor, slang words, idioms, non-verbal expressions, manners, etiquette, friendships, and relationships. When you get to the high school age to adult age you start adding the skill sets of dating, crushes, romance, intimacy, and sexuality to that list. I am convinced that analyzing one's first hand knowledge and helping a child learn the knowledge for the specific activities they want to participate in along with some general ones throughout school and adulthood relevant to their age is necessary for good socialization. It also takes knowledge of how to make friends and how to be a friend. Future assessments need to cover the hands-on realms and ask if the child really knows them (not a frequency count scale) but instead the actual skills based on task analysis of real activities they would encounter at school and in the community of ones age group.

@Sanicelle

2 жыл бұрын

I love this breakdown of information and lack of information that can be taken from assessments. Is there any way I can read your paper?

@ourfamilyvideos7283

2 жыл бұрын

THIS is SPOT on. We can relate as we’re in the high school years of undiagnosed. We have worked for years, role playing, how to talk to people, getting a drivers license and having a stranger in the car( the same stranger that threw a eye exam paper at you and told your child that she was blind). Church/ youth groups are child’s social settings and it’s ANGUISHING. We have emailed ahead of time that new teen is coming, please introduce her to other girls,etc only for child to come back asking “ why doesn’t anyone talk to me, why do they make fun of me, why do they repeat what I say”…we pray for ONE friend, one good person to come along side our child….who is sweet and longs for another. Would love to read / hear more about older teens and navigating life….

@aprylgem1

7 ай бұрын

It's such a leap for them when they enter teen years. The social circles expand and they're even more excluded.@@ourfamilyvideos7283

Thanks a lot Mary for this video, very value information. I am a Teaching Assistance in an mainstream school and I can see these mistakes very often.

@marybarbera

2 жыл бұрын

Glad it was helpful!

Thank you for your channel!

@marybarbera

3 жыл бұрын

My pleasure!

tip: adjust the speed to 2x

My 4 1/2 is in speech therapy. We’ve taken her to a neurologist they recommended we also have her in social skills to help with her speech. They are saying she doesn’t meet the criteria to be diagnosed with ASD but she is currently in an echolalia phase

@marybarbera

2 жыл бұрын

My online courses can help you to help her! check out a free workshop here www.marybarbera.com/workshops

Looking for 17 year old social skills, working on role playing, trouble with ordering food, asking adults for things in stores,etc

I'm a bcba, but I will admit- I didn't realize turn taking was so high up there. Is there a hierarchy of social skills curriculum that I can access so that I can assess If the children have appropriate prerequisite skills before accidentally teaching more complex social skills. What I do is I usually focus my programming on manding first so they can access their environment, then some programs from other operants such as basic tacts (being able to tact familiar people, reinforcers and functional items), I may also do echoic to mand transfer and focus on some LR skills of basic instructions. If they are not completely vocal, i may wait until later to put intraverbal programs until i gain more instrucrional control with simpler tasks, prerequisites and building up that behavioral momentum. For social skills, I start off with eye contact, imitation of my actions, assessing response to my social praise, respond to name, imitation of play instructions, joint attention and joint play activities (like rolling a ball back and forth). I also assess if they have parallel play skills before doing associative play or pretend play. Before turn taking, we also need to make sure they have the word to mand for the item back instead of just tapping their chest and saying "my turn" . Hopefully I am on the right track! Any advice will be essential 😁

@deborahdarroyo

Жыл бұрын

I'm also interested in a goals hierarchy. This is so important because I see goals that are not appropriate and I'm always wondering what should be addressed as prerequisites.

Hi, part of teaching social skills to people with Autism Spectrum Disorders or other challenges about when to tell an adult they trust, and when to try to handle a situation on their own. Now, I will emphasize that this is something that ALL children need to be taught, not just children with disabilities. When we tell a child (especially a child with Autism) things like, "don't tattle," we are inadvertently teaching them that it's NEVER ok to tell an adult about even the most serious violations. On the other hand, if we encourage children (especially children with disabilities) to tell an adult every time someone does something 'wrong,' we might inadvertently be encouraging tattling. If a child's allegations against another person sound serious (such as safety issues, legal issues, or if they have tried dealing with the situation themselves several times, and have not been successful, and there are no alternatives), you can say, "I'm glad you told me about this!" If a child's allegations against another person sound minor (such as isolated incidents of someone cutting in line, or saying something that hurts their feelings, taking more than their fair share of the cookies, or if someone is in the wrong spot, or someone takes the last of a certain flavor of ice cream), you can ask them questions such as, "are you telling me about this because you are concerned about your own safety?" "Are you telling me about this because you are concerned about someone else's safety?" "Is what the other person is doing illegal?" "How many times have you tried to handle the situation?" (Other variants of this question could be, "how long has this been going on?" Or, "how many times have you seen this person do this?") "Have you been successful?" "Are there any alternatives?"

@SqeeG

3 жыл бұрын

What's the age range you are considering these strategies for?

@leannestrong1000

3 жыл бұрын

@@SqeeG all age groups. I attended my local ARC program back in 2013-14, and some of the other adult participants in the program used to tell our program staff about minor incidents. They used to tell staff things like, "Kyle won't let me have a slice of the cake he brought with him," "Claire said a bad word," "I said hi to Amy, and she didn't say hi back," "Brad said he's not my friend," and other minor issues. These adult participants were not very well liked by other adult participants in the program, and it was understandable why.

3:47 are you saying VB map level 3 skill or BB? Also can you let me know where I can learn more about said concept? Thanks! :)

@marybarbera

2 жыл бұрын

VB MAPP level 3 skill. You can learn more about social skills and my techniques by signing up for a free workshop here www.marybarbera.com/workshops

My God. This is so challenging. Especially living as a foreigner in China. The challenges are enormous

@sukipeng711

5 жыл бұрын

bih pamela i am Chinese living as a foreigner in US.

@marybarbera

5 жыл бұрын

I believe it is difficult living in a different country and culture. My free workshops may help you get started wherever you are marybarbera.com/workshops

In some regions it’s difficult to get assessments done and parents are forced to have to try things on their own. Also therapy sessions are expensive. What advice do you have for such parents?

@marybarbera

Жыл бұрын

We have free resources available for parents. marybarbera.com/workshops If parents want to join a course, they also get access to our online community where they can also get a ton of help! marybarbera.com/courses

Ok my daughter is ten started in early intervention at 2 she’s in special classes do you have a video about how to help her fit in make friends I’m at my wits end ready to pay kids to be her friends the stories I could tell her only friend is a teddy bear 🧸 most kids love her untill they try talking with her bc socially she’s more like a five year old kids point that out very easy unfortunately but even if they don’t she has zero lasting friends idk she asks me all the time why she doesn’t have friends like her little sister omg the story’s

@marybarbera

3 жыл бұрын

It is really challenging! perhaps look for a local social skills group for girls with autism.

@rhllc8166

2 жыл бұрын

There's nothing wrong with socializing with younger kids. She will get to practice her skills and grow into more. Teach her not to care about the age of her friends. Also practice anytime you have and teach her how to navigate in "black and white", but the best advice is finding other girls on the spectrum. They sometimes understand each other best.

@unravelwithanne9249

Жыл бұрын

Maybe you can introduce her to 5 years old and 7years old kids? She can practice from there

Can you please do a video on older kids like 12 to 13 years old who are autistic and very shy can’t make friends

@marybarbera

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for the topic idea. google mary barbera selective mutism as I do have a podcast that may help

In Ireland have to wait years for just an assessment

@marybarbera

Жыл бұрын

So sorry to hear that..

You speak about teaching skills that are too high, do you have a suggestion of reading which breaks down social skills

@marybarbera

3 жыл бұрын

The book I recommend breaks down skills nicely.

I have autism. Aspugers.

@Jasmine-re9dh

3 жыл бұрын

tell me more about it!

@chickadeechicken9623

3 жыл бұрын

@@Jasmine-re9dh I haven't been professionally diagnosed yet but I pace around and get easily obsessed with things. My aunt has it and that's why I may have it.

@Jasmine-re9dh

3 жыл бұрын

@@chickadeechicken9623 my boyfriend has it, and he still can't make contact with me.

@chickadeechicken9623

3 жыл бұрын

@@Jasmine-re9dh I have a very minor form.

@Jasmine-re9dh

3 жыл бұрын

@@chickadeechicken9623 awesome!