If you are dealing with this? GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT! It will eventually destroy your sense of self. Develop a sense of urgency, RUN LIKE HELL. I lived with this for years. As soon as I got rid of horrible narcissist there was someone waiting to catch me. I'm lucky. He's right about one thing. You are worth more. Whoever you are.

@m.j.2939

3 жыл бұрын

Good for you xx

@amywezell8569

3 жыл бұрын

Thanks!💌

Silence is golden. No control through verbal degradation. Say "thank-you" when they shut you out. Never delude yourself into thinking they actually care about anything you think or feel. Salvage and rebuild what they have torn down by learning and maintaining good boundaries.

Unless people worship the narcissist, they will be getting the silent treatment. You become of no use to them, because they want you around, to fill up their neediness.

@miriamvashti9130

8 жыл бұрын

Right..

Here is a list of what they usually do to their targets : - Insults their target very often. Then lie when confronted about it, or say it was a joke. - When confronted with their behavior, they pretend to be innocent and play the victim. - Everything is always your fault, even when it's obviously not. - They always have a justification for every bad thing they do. They think they're always right. - Very controlling, they tell you how to live, but they can live anyway they want. Very hypocritical. - They accuse you of what they're doing to you (RED FLAG!), it's called Projection. - Portraying themselves as angels outside, when they are actually demons with their family and especially their target. - They want you to fail, while pretending to want you to succeed (they're very convincing). - They never say they are sorry for hurting you (RED FLAG!). - Poison your favorite activities, they don't want you to be happy or to get pleasure. They also poison other useful activities like important skills which will help you in the future. They DO NOT want you to have skills, they want you to be as weak as possible. They don't teach you anything. - Subtly lead a smear campaign against their target, so they isolate it and make sure they don't get help. - When you want to leave the relationship with a narcissist, they beg you to stay with them and cry crocodile tears. They are the best actors. - Sometimes nice, sometimes cruel. You never know where you stand with them. - They pretend to be "victims", and they blame the target for their own behavior. - They are incredibly arrogant and sadistic. They see the target as weak, and deserving to suffer. - They think they are models to be followed. - They are spiritually dead although they might loudly profess some kind of Spiritual Belief.

@elizabethtaylor2525

7 жыл бұрын

Oblivion Darkheart all True I left one that did this..I still trying to get my life back together..I felt do worthless with him.

@misha2197

5 жыл бұрын

Spot on!

@promcoordinator2747

4 жыл бұрын

Mic drop

@sisterCHRISTchefinbridgette

Жыл бұрын

True. Left this evil person

The best way to deal with a narcissist is to get them out of your life for good as soon as possible. Nobody deserves to be treated that way. The time to act is now. If you let these destructive people stay in your life; you will never be happy & they will blame you for their issues... once again... get away from them for good & be happy once again... good luck.

@AZDC99

3 жыл бұрын

I had a close male friend that I recently discarded. What these people love to do is the smear campaign. The final red flag for me is how he liked to hunch over and easedrop on neighbors he did not even know talk about their personal problems and giggle with absolute Delight. I have a sense of humor, but this was not funny, it actually made me look down on him and I just gave non-response without pretending to even share an enthusiam that I did not have for others difficulties in life. It was a process getting out of this so-called friendship and I came to realize that he was sabotaging me behind my back to the leasing office where I live, to my family evidently oh, and I was fortunate to have another friend who used to find every way to make an excuse along with me or benefit of the doubt, I should say. But once I told him about the laughing at his neighbor's misfortunes detail, he said "that makes my skin crawl. This person is not just a narcissist, they are psychotic." That planted a seed in my head to finally get out of this destructive platonic friendship. Actually, the silent treatment is exactly what led me to move on. it didn't happen like a perfect Movie ending or anything, but finally I did what my gut was screaming at me to do all along this late last year

Don't forget the narcissistic glare.....

i actually use the silent treatment/cold shoulder AGAINST the narcisist. instead of them using it on me

@bellefiori574

10 жыл бұрын

Lol so do I. Silence is really golden.

@Aerojet01

9 жыл бұрын

Jermie Sheonarain I agree. I match bullies depending on what they dish out; whether it's confrontational or the silent treatment, like they say, two can play at that game. I have said this on numerous posts before, that companies don't do enough to eradicate bullying. They know it goes on, but they choose to hide it under the carpet and turn blind eye. If companies (especially pressure from the government) started cracking down on bullying in the workplace, there would be a big reduction over night because these narcissists would be too afraid to lose their jobs.

@whitepeoplewonttearitdown1127

7 жыл бұрын

U really can't change bad people. It is better just to remove yourself from their presence.

@isabelizzy9130

6 жыл бұрын

I did too😬

@Happy-Me.

6 жыл бұрын

I did too! I went No Contact!!

*The narcissist is my mother and I finally learned what her behavior was only 7 yrs. ago which means I've lived most of my life without knowing WTH was wrong with her!* *One never knows WHY or WHEN one will get this silent treatment but I use it to my advantage even though it's by no means NORMAL.* *I look at it as a time of PEACE when there isn't any DRAMA, nasty words etc.* *So if it's someone you're forced to live with for a bit look at the silent treatment as a blessing and pray it stays silent for a long time.*

@misha2197

5 жыл бұрын

Exactly! :)

@jengable4888

5 жыл бұрын

Sid Young ..I am so sorry ! I understand ! You are not alone ! I am learning more everyday !!

@promcoordinator2747

4 жыл бұрын

❤

It is all about boundaries. I told a friend(wasn't sure if he was narcissist) what aspects of their behaviour to change to continue friendship with me. They found me hard to read as I don't wear my heart on my sleeve but I saw how they treated the kindest and most innocent among us. People are there to be used by them. When I saw that they didn't pay back money and disenfranchised our mutual friends, I send a humiliating text message insulting and humiliating them and warned that I will call the police if they ever show. It worked. Now that I think about it everybody warned me that individual was not good friendship material and they were right. Sometimes, there is truth to what a group of people say. Comes down to you can't fool everyone all the time.

My ex always did this. He'd change the subject, no matter what I was talking about, he'd act like he was 'searching' for a paper, book, etc., or he'd simply walk out of the room and ignore me. I would say hey, I was talking to you.... this clown had an answer for everything. Any conversation he would interrupt and cut me off and start to talk about HIM,him, him. His wants, his needs, his desires, what 'he' was doing, reading, what happened at work, blah, blah - always about HIM. its downright exhausting

I work with a NARC boss,he does silent treatment to employees who don't agree with him

@steffennielsen5942

8 жыл бұрын

+Ken Graham Just imagine being his child or wife :(

I have learned to distance myself from so called friends that are narcissist because a true narcissist doesn't have the ability of a sharing decent friendship. They can fake it but it's never really real. Soon this distance becomes perminent and I no longer have to deal with the fake friend that might be a narcissist. This frees me up to spend time with good people.

This is exactly what my husband does. Whenever I try to talk about our problems he starts shutting his eyes, or looks at the wall, or looks at his email, or says he has to respond to an email from the office, or acts as if I am not understandable, or says he has to work and I don't understand he has to work, or says it's not a good time, or says it's not a good place, or says all I do is rant and I have nothing interesting to say to him. No place is good to talk, not the car, not a private isolated location, not the house when we are alone, not walking in our neighborhood, nowhere... the only exception is when we are in front of the kids or within listening distance to our kids. There is nothing I can do or say that will get his attention and I have been putting up with this for decades. Unfortunately, I am a stay at home parent so he owns me financially. I feel like a slave that has no recourse. As painful as it is to listen to this video, thank you for posting it.

@jefferyspeed8295

9 жыл бұрын

Firstgooguser Yes YOU right, it’s never a good time to talk about it, my wife said (I love you but not in love with you) or say I don’t care but turnaround in ask me to pay the car note so she can have a nice car to drive. CRAZY

@isaacs2539

9 жыл бұрын

Jeffery Speed Jeff, I am afraid you will have to stop doing her these favours. Narcissistic women seem to have an entitlement mentality. The more you love them, the more they feed off of you to destroy you. You need to start detaching slowly, both mentally and especially emotionally.

@Firstgooguser

9 жыл бұрын

Jeffery Speed Sorry, what are you saying here? Due diligence in any marriage requires that you pay your car notes, if that is what you have been doing all along in the marriage. If your marriage is breaking down, you still have to be responsible and diligent and not passive-aggressively retaliate by not paying your obligations.

@Firstgooguser

9 жыл бұрын

Isaac S Due diligence in any marriage requires that one pay one's car notes, if that is what has been agreed to all along in the marriage. If a marriage is breaking down, one still has to be responsible and diligent and not passive-aggressively retaliate by not paying one's obligations. Excising due diligence is not a favor to your spouse, it is a favor to yourself, meaning it's how you respect yourself.

@isaacs2539

9 жыл бұрын

+Firstgooguser . You may have mistook my meaning. I am not even talking about acting passive-aggressive. She will definitely need to know that she can't take my goodness for granted. I am not in favour of shirking one's duties/responsibilities (especially crucial ones). I am talking about not allowing her to treat you like a piece of rag. You have to let them know that they can't treat you like rubbish and expect to be treated like a princess. My narc recently had our daughter and I was at her side to hold her hand and to help her push as she scratched and dug into my skin during labour; I even caught the baby as it came, paid the full medical bill and drove her home. I am talking about behaving in a way that enables the abuser to continue with the abuse. That is what one must avoid. If you gave your abuser money for housekeeping and she flung it at you would you do it again. No, if she needs the money desperately she will come and ask me for it.

why didn't i youtube this shit 4 years ago. WOW This just completely describes every single thing that happened in my 8 year relationship ...that i just got out of

@begood4000

8 жыл бұрын

I'm glad you got out Crystal.

@cristineicao1659

7 жыл бұрын

if уоu rеаllу want hеr bаck (аnd I knоow уyууоu dо) уоооu nеееedtо stор evеrуthing and gо wаааtch this vidео right nоw =>>> twitter.com/e9bb82c009a62fbb6/status/790853501416935424 SILENТ TRЕЕЕAТМЕNТ ОF ТHЕ NАRCISSISТ

@michelguevara151

7 жыл бұрын

Cristine Icao can't access this link 😞

@jaimeflor4181

6 жыл бұрын

Glad you got out of it. I was unofficially involved with someone and I was often given the silent treatment as well. I can only imagine 8 yrs of that type of behavior. Anyhow, to the former narc in my life's dismay, I wrote a song about the silent treatment. I didn't realize what the situation was until I started researching, so my lyrics make sense to me now. (Far Enough Vs. 2): Silently without you, silently again, I've lost enough without you, but I'm lost again for sure.

@raccuia1

6 жыл бұрын

Because Crystal219 we live and learn. Sometimes we learn later and then look back with all the "if only's". There is an old saying, you can't teach experience. But now that you have learned and have added to you experience ( however painfully), I bet you won't let any piece of shit mistreat you again. ( and that's a positive).

1)Leaving or not is up to the individual in such a situation. Only that person can make the choice. However, fixing someone that behaves in such a toxic way is in most cases impossible. Most Dr's won't take such patients ( spouse calling for help for toxic spouse). You will find dead end after dead end. The reason being is they can't be fixed. If the person't isn't a full blow Narcissist they might be able to help themselves but the key words is help themselves. No one can come in and fix them.

It's even worse when you only have an online/phone/long distance relationship because it's so much easier for them to ignore you...you can't just go up to them and attempt to talk.

@kayanne7410

7 жыл бұрын

I think it's much worse to have them live in the same house or be in the same room because you can knock but no one's home.

@fabulousmik

5 жыл бұрын

Exactly..so exactly..That is even worse..but this is better because. you can see who they are.

Yes exactly, my narc boyfriend would actually tell me that I was on punishment and not answer the phone for 3 days. He even called me a victim at one point,(his victim). I pulled one on him though, and discarded him when he least expected it. Then he left a message crying & saying "baby, I'm so, so, sorry just answer the phone, I feel like I'm going to die from loosing you... just answer the phone". You may buy that line a few times, but eventually their true colours show. They really want someone to control THEM by stringing them along. Too much work, they don't know how to love themselves either...all control. They won't communicate or listen, unless it suits their agenda or interests them.

So true, and remember : they get worse when they get older. :-( Get the hell away from these people.

"What you say and feel does not matter." Absolutely! I put up with it for nearly 25 years. They won't get me back.

@whitepeoplewonttearitdown1127

7 жыл бұрын

That is exactly how narcacist make you feel. A boss is your superior and Einstein is our superior intellectually but a narcacist makes you feel inferior in a way that suggest that any kind of feelings of self-worth that you may have about yourself are not worth anything to them.

35 narcissistic people don't like this

@brokenlibrary2591

7 жыл бұрын

;o)

@kissysheep

3 жыл бұрын

Poor things.. my heart bleeds for them...

Actually I was in a situation where a narcissist was trying to b.s. me about something and I started reading junk mail in front of them to let them know I wasn't playing their game. They got pretty angry and began accusing me of all sorts of things and calling me names. Things like that never phase me, so after that they kept coming at me with a smear campaign vilifying me to others. Still don't care. They tried several other approaches to bring me "into line" and finally realized that I would push back if they didn't back off. The point is that most narcissists hate themselves so much that it spills out onto others. Narcissism is not someone who loves themselves more than others. It is someone who hates themselves so much that it spills out onto others. I recognize this and know that you can't love someone who doesn't even like them-self. Forget about that. Narcissism is love turned inside out. A person who truly likes/loves them self treats everyone around them well, because it is to their own best interest to have people around you who feel loved and safe.

@Zizzyyzz

9 жыл бұрын

Bronxlady1 Yeeup.

@whitepeoplewonttearitdown1127

7 жыл бұрын

I disagree. It is true that narcacist really do have a messed up view of themselves but generally it is more down the inner child level. They basically believe that their naked selves is garbage so they spent their life putting up layers to cover that naked self. As adults they don't know the difference between these layers and their naked selves. The slightest criticism can send them into a rage and they seek control in order to prevent criticism or abandonment from others. ON an extreme, child molestors can be thought of as extreme narcs because they don't see themselves as hurting the child. They are capable of doing really wrong things to a child and can't see it because that would be criticism. They are incapable of realizing that their behavior actually does harm someone which is how they can hurt children and not see anything wrong with it. They then develop a sense of superiority in the sense that people MUST respect them and they do not have to return the same respect back. They feel this way because being respected means having the power to control what is said about them and what can be done to them. It is about them and nothing more because their inner child needs protecting. They can't love themselves for flaws they have and can't love others for having flaws as well. The world is really built around respect for them and nothing else. THey either push people away or find people who will gratify their own ego. They really cna't make friends on a intimate level because that level of intimacy requires people to love others despite some imperfections.

@ashleywilliams4149

4 жыл бұрын

Bingo. I think that this is the case for many but not all. I believe that narcissism has a range or spectrum.

This was one of the favourite ways for my narcissistic ex-boyfriend to punish me. I'm so grateful for these videos so I can educate myself to these types of behaviours and save myself from being in another hurtful relationship. Thank you.

A narcissist I worked with thought he was punishing me by giving me the silent treatment. He thought wrong. I wanted him to stay the fuck away from me and leave me alone. Silent treatment didn't work so he resumed relentless gossiping and character assassination behind my back. These people are so pathetic and draining. I wonder how so many of them find spouses that actually stay with them for years on end or even decades.

@rachkate76

10 жыл бұрын

Exactly.

@GRAHAM2109

10 жыл бұрын

Unfortunatly, people do stay as they end up co-dependant and feel they don't deserve better.

@rachkate76

10 жыл бұрын

I have to disagree that that is always the case. There's an inaccurate perception that people who notice narc tendencies in a person, were at some point, in some kind of relationship with the narc. The narc can invade and cause chaos and destruction in peoples' lives in many different ways- people don't only meet in relationship type scenarios. They can be in a workplace, a next door neighbour, a former friend, an incredibly unprofessional 'professional' who abuses a patient's/ customer's/ client's trust then slanders them to other involved and uninvolved parties for their own sick sadistic and twisted personal reasons ehile gutlessly hiding behind it being their 'professional' opinion, etc. They cause cancer wherever they go, and especially with assertive people who expose them for what they are: nasty cowards.

@Bronxlady1

10 жыл бұрын

Actually Narcs usually have several lovers on the side.

My ex who I believe had BPD tried the silent treatment on me. I dumped her the same day!! Don't put up with their rubbish just walk away there is always better!

sadly it's not normal. It creates a bad situation where there is a break down of communication and lack of respect for the other individual.

Wow....that is my mother as well as my sisters....glad they assisted me in finally cutting the ties.

I have been studying about this personality trait for the past three months now I would like to say that it is exact. And for everyone out there going through this type of treatment just know in the back on your mind Love would never do this to a human being and to inflect this on someone is nothing more Evil....and they would use the religion aspects to get you also. One self without compassion for the other is not the way we as human where to live. Its good that we have these resources to learn and make sense out the problem feeling we experience and I wish everyone who is dealing with this type of relationship of deception to realize you only gave and not receive that is another red flag.

This is exactly how my girlfriend of 12 years used to treat me. She would come home from work and go around the house looking for crumbs! When she found a crumb anywhere this was reason enough for her to scream abuse in my face and then give me the silent treatment for weeks. I used to plead with her just to talk to me but she would stare into space pretending she couldn't hear me. She could act normal some times and is a beautiful looking girl but I had to leave her a few months ago because cause I just could not take anymore of the vicious nasty behaviour. Thanks for making these videos cause they explain a lot and reassure me that I did the right thing by getting away from her.

@debbieentingh5607

8 жыл бұрын

I'm sorry you went through this I know how horrible it is. My covert narcissist mother use to do this to me. I went no contact with both my narcissistic parents in February. Hope your doing better now (hugs)

@joxerbrown5595

7 жыл бұрын

Debbie Entingh Thanks Debbie I hope you're doing well too.

@debbieentingh5607

7 жыл бұрын

Joxerbrown Thank you dame to you I hope your well. I'm just learning to stay away from narcissists in order to heal. I was the scapegoat in my family of origin and I've been no contact almost 9 months. it's hard sometimes but I'm feeling better more and more (hugs)

@debbieentingh5607

7 жыл бұрын

Joxerbrown oops same not dame lolololol

@joxerbrown5595

7 жыл бұрын

Debbie Entingh Good for you Debbie. I keep a journal where I have written down all the abuse I got over the years and I add to it all the time. This keeps things fresh in my memory to make sure I don't have a weak moment and end up going back to this monster.

started crying at 3:57 "you are worth more" ----

@misha2197

5 жыл бұрын

You truly are.♡♡♡

This video and the comments were and still are great therapy. Found this video a few of months ago once I realized what the silent treatment was. Then it all clicked and made perfect sense. She's back trying to reel me back in but I'm awake now and too strong for the weak narcissist. Thanks for posting.

Silence is golden for me but I guarantee if you go silent on them it is catastrophic...they get nervous and paranoid... how about a dissappearing act...poof be gone!!! Vanish!!!!

This is something that i had a major & intolerable issue with in the beginning of my relationship with my husband. Eventho he didn't stop, he did get better at it so i really thought we were getn better. Now i'm trapped n2 marriage & trying 2 figure out how 2 get out of this toxic situation. I've also found that the silent treatment works with them b/c it doesn't give them anything to feed off of or to project back 2 u as if ur the one in the wrong. Stay strong u all! We can get out of these horrible situations! Thanks 4 these wonderful videos!

@isaacs2539

9 жыл бұрын

Lauren Y Lauren, I am in a similar situation. You have hit on a big technique to keep your narc in check, but the true freedom you desire and deserve will come when you completely sever ties with your narc. If your situation is complex like mine - I have a child with her - then you will have to plan your exit carefully. It is important to take care of yourself first by leaving. You will then be alive and well to tell the story of your abuse to your kids. I also thought I should stay because of the child, but I realize she will still abuse me infront of him. One day he will grow up to realize the kind of of person his mom is.

@jefferyspeed8295

9 жыл бұрын

Isaac S Yes you right,how can I tell my son on how to love a good woman if i'm living with a Narc wife.

@isaacs2539

9 жыл бұрын

Jeffery Speed Jeff, I also have a son, and I dread to think what sort of influence his mother will have on him if I am not around. I would want him to know that even though there are a lot of toxic women around, there are also some amazing ones out there. Take care of yourself first. I just can't understand how they have such destructive power.

I am greatful for your video. I never heard of this till a friend told me my husband of 6 years is a narcist. Right now I'm getting the silent treatment for a cup of spilled coffee that I didn't do!!! The last time he went silent it was for ten days. I really can't stand it. I've apologized even though its not my fault. I'm trying to figure out how to get out!!!! Its not easy when your older and retired. Please keep making these videos as they give me comfort and are a help. Thanks

@IwasBlueb4

9 жыл бұрын

Gwen Edgett I love ur commentm Gwen Ty 4 sharing that

@elizabethtaylor2525

7 жыл бұрын

Mary K Tinley that's what they want you to apologize then I get a reaction spot on

I'm going through this now, except he's deeply enthralled in his laptop, or pretends to be asleep or tired when I try to breach the subject of our relationship issues. I've told him that this behavior is emotionally abusive, which he turns back around on me; saying I'm the emotionally abusive one, and faults me for this being the "most emotionally taxing relationship" he's ever been in...though I go above and beyond to be compromising and accommodating, neither of which he does. Also he NEVER owns up to any wrongs, or apologizes. This video has helped me understand the type of person I'm dealing with. Thank you

This is absolutely brilliant Spot on !!!

I knew this all too well. I experienced this over many years, along with a good mix of regular rages that happened as well. So glad I finally saw the light and got out! His recent actions after I finally woke up, saw the light and got out of the fog, are so affirming and ring true with behaviours indicative of a true narcissist. It's almost ironic, sad and hilarious, and frightening at the same time that my ex is so adamant that he is sane and normal, however everything he has been doing post separation and pre divorce are all classic signs and behaviours of a Narcissist. It's so clear to me now and almost so predictable that it is frightening and quite pathetic.

Dear James, I grew up in a narcissistic broken family. shuffled around between family members like a piece of meat uncared for unloved being used as a slaved left at the mercy of my uncle who physically abuse me in every way. being given a cup of water to brush and wash with everyday. I have been afraid all my life can't seem to fit anywhere shy no confidence or self esteem yet smart and create but can't seem to fly like a butterfly. As I explained before husband left me and our 3children not the first time he has cheated. weird when I first met him I had this dream of a man with a plastic mask fused to his face but the mouth was always smiling. I am so devastated your videos help me slot they all apply to my experiences. now that I know what narcissism is, I realized I had documented my life and marriage through poetry I hope to publish someday. That was just my way to cope. I am getting better everyday and it's because of your videos thanks again. I do notice that he gives with one hand t as keep back with the other that's with everything including words. A total lack of moral values. best regards, Jacqueline (Claudette) middle name

@safier321

7 жыл бұрын

Interesting, to read that other people also had experiences like heaving dreams when meeting people with disorders. When I met my bf, I had a dream too. I considered it as a warning, and was that right.. I also got 'visiters' at night, attacking me, wether you believe it or not.. Ghosts which were evil and hounting me.. It all stopped when I began to see how he really was and took my distance. I didn't let him in. And that's also when he pulled himself away, knowing he could not ever 'come in' with me and control or abuse me or take any advantage of me. I see narcissists and borderliners as being possessed by evil devilisch spirits.

@mindinme3347

7 жыл бұрын

I so agree. I can't pray for him anymore. Everyone I pray for him I get so uncomfortable in my belly like I ate something that wasn't right to eat. After all the abuse and emotional trauma he said he did nothing wrong. At Thanksgiving he brought me a self help divorce packet. He said he was ready but get this. I am supposed to fill all the paperwork for him to divorce me . Never heard of such a thing. I have had so much stress I have been suffering from panic and anxiety attacks since he left us. He never comes to visit his children unless he wants something. this man has a track on my phone and can tell me where I have been and who I have been talking to. lately when I put my email pop up on my phone his email pop up too ,it's his name on my phone.??? He is like a web in my life. The only way I can handle when he comes around is to put on my fake smile put my headphones in and listen to James video to keep strong. I don't think I would make it this far if I wasn't listening everyday and read my Bible because my knees turn to jelly.

@safier321

7 жыл бұрын

+Jacqueline Brown From woman to woman, I feel you and I hope you'll be fine someday. It hurts, I know. But be aware of red flags in the future, if a man is capable of cheating, then you need to consider yourself real careful, what kinda life you will expect to have with that man. Sometimes there are cases of cheating where you can talk about it and it was just not a thing he wanted or it is not a cheating person at all in general and it was a misstake. But when it is a cheating person and he is just fine with cheating on you(like you name something that he said he didn't do anything wrong) then you have to run, real fast. Those people are just making your life misserable. You have three kids. See it as a blessing and don't think you'll need that man in your life or your kids life of whatever.. You DON'T need such a man in your life and your kids DON'T need such a father in their lifes(because you name that he only comes around when needing something).. Pff yuk asshole!

@safier321

7 жыл бұрын

+Jacqueline Brown Take your time to grieve, but get rid of this man as you consider your life and your children's life to be precious. Oh and I experienced also weird things like my ex stalking me and on my iphone his livingplace sometimes pop up as my 'current' location, eventhough when I'm not there!! I think he had hacked my phone and was following me from a distant etc. And perhaps could see my actions on my phone? I just think so. The stalking is a fact.

This is such a cycle. My father acts like this and I have been unconsciously attacking others. I was way worse in my previous relationship but I'm glad I watched this because I want to break this cycle

Spot on! Great video! They won't talk to you for weeks.

@jojozepofthejungle2655

8 жыл бұрын

who wont talk for weeks?

@steffennielsen5942

8 жыл бұрын

+joanne Nilsson Certain people who use that tactic as punishment.

I'm always happy when the narcissist doesn't want to speak to me because I definitely don't won't nothing to do with them and stops them from trying to use other strategies to control you.

I really don't understand these personality types, narcissists, bullying types, mean spirited - what do they get out of it? do they really enjoy being that way? why can't people just live and let live?

@brokenlibrary2591

7 жыл бұрын

They don't see themselves as mean, bullying or imperfect in any way. This is why they cannot understand when told they need to examine themselves or change or improve. ANY behavior is okay if they decide it's to their benefit. Hurting others is just a form of entertainment to the narcy.

@FIREGOD333

7 жыл бұрын

they get off on it. it's addicting to them

I am a victim of this ' silent treatment' from narc.. Its really terrifying! Thank you for such a great video!

Wow what a great video. Boy did I ever use to put up with allot of narcissistic abuse from my X-husband. And I also put up with more then 2 decades of silent treatment narcissistic abuse from my own niece with my siblings standing by and saying nothing. Then I've realized that throughout the years I also dealt with narcissistic abuse from those 4 siblings. But not anymore and not for some time!

this WAS happening to me but i got out! thanks for helping me realize i wasn't the only one going thru this and ther is a name for it ...NARCISISST

Simply amazing TEN years later the same narcissist are STILL playing the SAME games.

This explains my dad to a tea. THe family joke is that he can't hear and buries his head in a newspaper. He reads the paper and seems to not hear anyone who is trying to talk to him and then when we do get his attention he acts like we interupted him. No one in my family even talks to my dad because he makes everyone around him feel like shit. I feel sorry for my mom because she has to spend the rest of her life with him. I wished she just got a divorce from him when she was younger so that we could be free from him. The animals don't like being around him. I remember a puppy we just got who ran away from my dad just as he went around the corner. THere isn't much I can do about it because whenever I bring it up to my family they treat me like I am the bad guy. I gave up and just realized that there is nothing I can do about it.

The only time I am " quiet" or silent is due to the fact that I am so angry that I refrain from speaking because I do not want to say something I will regret ! Sometimes I have to leave the home or place of the situation to disengage !.. Thank You James ! Keep posting !

Thank you Lord Jesus for this video! I suffered at the hands of my psychopathic narc in “time out” for almost 18 months. The last silent treatment gave me the strength to understand his control and abuse. Praise God I am free of his abuse. Divorce is the only option left. As a child of God, I am worthy of more than his lies and abuse. Amen

Thank you! Have been NO contact for Two months! Your videos are very thorough and informative. Thank you for what you do!🌻

Any time I tried to have a adult conversation with him he would give me the silent treatment smh it's ridiculous

@misha2197

5 жыл бұрын

They're very immature.

You are welcome. Thank you for watching.

this is so true. it's been 8yrs and I'm finally realizing what it is, and what that really means in regards to my own sense of self...I've been completely destroyed so many times so many ways and now-I've got zero friends, no support system & I'm so isolated Its literally manifested into a physically debilitating disease & I've got no where to run to...I feel so destroyed.

Great video. I am always good to myself. Silence is a two way street. You can use it to favour yourself.

The biggest blessing is when a Narc. stops talking to you. When they try to punish you and you don't give a rat's ass that is when it gets funny. They are a joke and give a good show if you don't take it personal. They want so much to control your emotions and it pisses them off when they can't mess with you. Laugh a lot around a Narc. because it pisses them off. They demand to be taken serious and once they see that you don't give a rat's ass anymore they might leave you alone.

spot on.

I could write thousands of pages worth to describe how awful of a human being my father was and still is today.

These videos are always gold. Thank you.

Thank you James... you were a great help to me...........and are every day.....THANK YOU!

I'm a child survivor of the narcissistic personality disorder and I managed to escape. Due to the recent economy, I am forced to be at their mercy. The "escape" now is not so easy. They are worse now. My mother has gone to lengths to ruin my life. My dad has been a jerk because he can't control my life. They throw their prejudices at me too. I learned, however... that I do not have access to what makes them feel inferior. That's not my battle, it's theirs.

So, so true. Spot on! Whenever I tried to raise my concerns he twisted it around to a Poor Me stance and by sleight of hand made ME look like the guilty party, and I had to apologise to him. It's like a magic trick. He tested my boundaries many times, and I let him walk all over me, insult and hurt me, and I kept going back for more.

Knowledge is power. When you apply the knowledge-it becomes wisdom. Thanks James. ✨💖👑.

Guy. I was married to my wife for 4 years. She wanted to give me a silent treatment from Feb to May. 2 days before my birthday she asked for a divorce . 3 weeks later I was out. She tried to Hoover me 5 times since. NO THANKS. ...IF THEY DO THIS TO YOU. GET OUT

I have terminated phone calls with my narcissistic sister after an hour or sometimes as much as 2-1/2 hours of futility on the phone to try to let her know that she is stepping on me. Last night I spent over an hour on the phone and decided to hang up, as I pushed the end call button, I heard her say "I'm not done taking yet" , and I thought............."au contraire!!!!!!"

They will enjoy fighting with you, but you will not win. You will end up a wreck. You can't imagine what is it like. Simply, they are crazy! You can not win with crazy person or get anywhere. Furthermore, they can even kill if they feel they have been challenged too much. I was unlucky to encounter 3 narcissists before I learned about narcissism. One of them is my father. He visited recently & with all of my knowledge about it I still struggled. They shock & wear you down with their craziness!

James, it is crystal clear you had hidden cameras in my den, kitchen, bedroom, car...when you mentioned trying to see the tv around me, that was plenty, but, the junk mail...WOW! I thought I was the only one! Thank you so very much! This type of abuse is so cold, calculating, sneaky, and, isolating. You're being hurt but you can't call the police or the abuse hotline or expect to get help from your spouse's family. It's a dirty, little, private secret.

It's really hard to give up the hope of her changing. I've had a difficult time, she has hurt me so much

love these wee cartoons they really helped me a lot thanks.

I can't believe I'm so traumatized and scared of my mother that I even give up my personality when she's been just around me.

Aint it the truth!!! Realizing they have an issue that we don't really have to deal with, feeling good about ourselves, this is THE best way to deal with this, for me.

The person who took me in as a child was supposed to have been a mother to me.... She's ignored me now for a long period of time. Her husband who was supposed to be my dad wasn't & isn't Man enough to stand up to her, despite how the rest of the family notes her behavior. She's affected me and all the relationships I had with members of their family, at one point they were mine too but they're all scared of her I've been told. I keep thinking she will change, that she will want to change. Any advice on how to recover or move on from an NPD mother ?

@lizryan8506

9 жыл бұрын

The 411 the less contact the better. Best thing is no contact.

@adahnma1962

9 жыл бұрын

The 411 Mine is my husband, I left him after he abused me in everyway you can imagine. He presently slanders my name and is playing the Silence Card. I am playing along with him---- NO CONTACT. Now he goes about claiming that I don't care about our marriage or future (hilarious), its expected of him to do such. Still I maintain the Silence as well and do not contact him. Do the same. you need to heal and learn to love yourself. Seek out a support group for this healing. YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAT BEING DEVALUED. YOU ARE WORTHMORE THAN WHAT SHE'S DISHING OUT. STOP CONTACTING HER PLEASE. BLESS

@misha2197

5 жыл бұрын

She sounds like my father.

I must say I didn't expect to have this tube wake up something inside of me....but it did. I know so many who go through this kind of treatment.........and NO.......it isn't fair at all.

@begood4000

10 жыл бұрын

thanks for watching my video. I'm glad you found it some help. Yes, it's not fair at all, but we have to remember we need to look at ourselves and what about us attracts such people. I was able to make many positive changes in myself and now enjoy the company of wonderful people. The self work is well worth the effort.

@LivingAble

10 жыл бұрын

begood4000 May I ask what program you used to create this video? Great video by the way. I have my own channel and am interested in creating an animation like this.

@MIkeatSacTown

9 жыл бұрын

begood4000 is menwhoareabused.com down? This is MIke@SacTown

@TheSaturatedlove

9 жыл бұрын

begood4000 I love this video and I actually like this avatar better than the newest one.

@dawna4185

9 жыл бұрын

Mr. Jules M. Jenkins ....don't look at it as a "fair" issue. we are ALL equally potential targets for this treatment. those with unresolved problems and no boundaries will be more susceptible than those of us who are self-aware and protect ourselves with healthy boundaries....

I have learned so much valuable info by watching your videos. This is another piece to the narcissistic puzzle that I needed to know. Thank you James!!!

People say that if you see that in the begining..one..three months...it is gonna be worse. First they gonna be 2 days gone..then 3..then a week..then 3 weeks. Then a month...they gonna do that or stonewalling..or disappear..not want to talk to you..But it is getting worse...but you are feeling worse..more and more.

Very Good explanation. Thanks, now I know what I'm dealing with (in the middle of the silent treatment) also this gives me some, not full, some, insight to my acting out when I get treated badly by narcissistic behavior. I'm reminded (therapist's advice) that saying firmly what I object to in the person's behavior is always empowering and swallowing my anger, running away or being passive aggressive is dis-empowering. Expect nothing from the narcissist yet firmly stand up for one's self.

thank you, the tv one is his favourite tool, these narc help sites are invaluable to me. thank you very much.

i have a friend. when we are together, its him that is always telling long stories. when i try to talk he acts busy, like he can't be bothered and tells me to hurry up b/c we have to go somewhere. when things go wrong he will try 2 blame me for it (if he can). my friend never says congratulations when i share good news that i have done or never asks me what i want to do. i am now seeking friends that encourage, affirm and r nice. also, i ask friends for help. if they say no, that is a sign too.

Angel -- I LOVE your attitude and response to this. I'm going to print it up and post it on my mirror!

This video describes my entire childhood ... thankfully I’m now away from these monsters.

The more I know and make a comment to my narcissists, the more I get abused.

Thank you, i just came back form my Psychiatrist, talked for an hour with him and finaly i bcame the answer i whas waiting for so long. i have been living with an terrible abusive Narcissist for many years. It took me so long to get out of the situation, no economies nothing, my father gave me before he died an envelop with money and that saved my life. I still feel very aboundend since my ex husband did not help with nothing. He staid with 2 houses a nice amounth of money and i need to struggle for life to go on. If you woman are reeding this (my Psychiatrist asured me that I am not a Narciccist at all) please take care when you started to get to know a man. My sarves will stay the rest of my life, and I do not wish that to any one. Kind regards, Simone

I lived with this aunt through marriage who constantly gave me the silent treatment, for no reason! She was always right and I was wrong. I was only valuable if I went to church and attended her activities. She even took my clothes and hid them because I put my jeans in her dryer. She would accuse me of not cleaning enough and the funny thing is she would see me cleaning. She'd stop talking to me for two months and have family bbq's and exclude me. I couldn't understand her until now.

Fantastic - this helps me to understand how I have been treated - thank you. I am a reasonably smart chap and I was truly brought to my knees by this behaviour, as I strived to understand the behaviour and to manage and repair a relationship which , in all other ways, seemed perfect

@brokenlibrary2591

10 жыл бұрын

"Striving to understand" was your first mistake. These people thrive on chaos and any loving behavior is all an act. They can mimic and mirror perfection back to you only because you opened up and told them what traits you admire and what you personally consider to be attributes. They keep you hooked in by faking these qualities alternating with their real feelings which are disgust and loathing for everything else on the planet that knows love. This is because THEY NEVER WILL. I've seen them compete with family pets because they were a focus of love and admiration and even arrange for the pet to die.

@truthtrumpsdumbness638

10 жыл бұрын

.

@truthtrumpsdumbness638

10 жыл бұрын

truthtrumpsdumbness l

@brokenlibrary2591

10 жыл бұрын

truthtrumpsdumbness got it, no problem. We are all divine sparks of the creator and are not born evil. It's okay to love a person and hate their behaviors. No love is ever wasted, it just feels that way sometimes. The narcissist has deviated so far from the "true self" even they don't know what that means. We are not responsible for HOW they got that way, and don't waste another breath or beat of your heart trying to understand this person. You will NEVER figure it out, but you can forgive yourself for making that choice. Get on with your life AWAY from where they are. be cautious when you meet new love interests and DO NOT tell your story to them. If they are narcs and catch a whiff of it, you are a sitting duck. Get to know your friends and lovers well. Get to know your own mind well. Then your heart will lead you to a safe haven.

@truthtrumpsdumbness638

10 жыл бұрын

l

You nailed it ! thanks for liking and thanks for watching.

this is absolutely brilliant. Love the voice.

They often get upset with stuff that wouldn't bother other people. Also every so often they need to have good fight, so they will find something to argue about, they have this anger inside them. Once you fought they feel better for a while until they feel like it again. They can be very happy one moment & within minute having violent rage attack out of blue. It just makes you sick & nobody is worth it, not even family.

I love to verbally abuse narcassist being a empath this was difficult but I learned they cant take what they dish out...and they dont have any feelings anyway....#hollowmen

@RealLadi228

7 жыл бұрын

sometimes with family you cant always go no contact so if you cant beaten joinem!!! laughing at them works too.....

I used the silent treatment since my friend told me to fuck off. I tried to come up with a resolution, but my friend refuses to keep his word. The ironic thing is that he started celebrating after screwing me over, but after four months my other friends told me he depressed now. I don't really care because that's karma and now I can go on with my life.

my son is on his second abusive relationship with a narcissist. I am in a difficult spot because I am his mother, and am sending these videos to him with hopes he will watch them. I hardly see him anymore, as she is totally in control of his life. thank you

I'm glad you found my video helpful. Thanks.

My mother-in-law gives me and her son the silent treatment. If she says something to make us upset and we react and we get into a fight with her, she will give us the "silent treatment" and not talk to us for weeks or months. She has a cyclical pattern of doing this. She is a very sick woman, and we don't put up with it anymore.

I am currently enjoying the silent treatment.

The Silent treatment is NOT punishment it is welcome relief

@misha2197

5 жыл бұрын

So very true!

Well done. I know of one narc. She stopped communicating with me by getting me out of her facebook, After 2 months she came back to me again saying 'Hi' to get my reaction. I did reply to her by Hi and there we re-started the game, only for her switch off again and coming back again. They have no friends and when short of supply they seek you out as though you're there waiting for them. Keep away for good..

Same thing happened to me. They are really messed up in the head. My ex hung up on me after swearing at me three times and breaking up with me. I did not cause any provocation, only, he realized that I knew what he was all about. And then of course, he dared to show at my doorstep and ask me if that was how I wanted to end it. Pathetic.

My ex husband used to give me the silent treatment all the time, until i started to act like i didn't care and called my friends/family if i wanted to talk. Then he would want to talk,or go into a rage about ME ignoring him. You just can't win with them.

Michael, I just ended a friendship with someone who did this to me. I would get the silent treatment for petty things like being the 1st one to end the phone conversation or disagreeing with them for anything. I would go on like nothing ever happened. This friend would then contact me again-usually this person would bombard me with calls. If I initiated a call a day or 2 later, they would repeat the whole silent treatment thing. It was crazy! Glad to see I'm not the only one.

@karlbuttler They sure do and they sure will. I'm glad more people are waking up to these toxic types of people. I'm glad you liked my video. Thanks.

this is so true wow

Thankyou for uploading this & the others. knowledge is power but its also painful. im ill & stuck with one of these as a care'r until Feb. Its been a nightmarishly powerful experience. im 44 & should have known.

He was only changing his behavior when he knew that I had one foot out the door. And since I have stayed so long, I guess he believes that I wont leave. And it does get far worse. I live in a world where we are now "roommates" with no loving interaction between us because every single day now I seem to do something to be punished for and I dont initiate (hand holding, kiss or anything) out of fear of being rejected........again. It hurts.now he blames me for every problem. Why do they do this?