Should I Drag Out My Divorce?

"Should I just give up and let my spouse have all they want, just so I can have peace...? Or, should I drag out the divorce so that somehow, we may save the marriage?"
your.marriagehelper.com/rescu...
In today’s video, Marriage Helper’s Dr. Joe Beam, speaks with Client Representative, Amber Nickle, about why she kept standing for her marriage (even when her husband wanted a divorce more quickly). Amber explains that she was not vindictive. She wanted to honor her beliefs and values while also providing enough time for her husband to discover what consequences would follow his decisions.
Marriage Helper also taught Amber specific principles she could implement while standing for her marriage. She explains that if you are trying to save your marriage from divorce, you need to have a specific plan of action- and you need to be consistent.
If you are standing for your marriage, and don’t know where to start, here is a FREE Guide with 7 things you can start doing: your.marriagehelper.com/rescu...
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Пікірлер: 105

  • @brambletbrats3184
    @brambletbrats31844 жыл бұрын

    My pastor told me to go ahead and sign because she had already divorced me in her mind and it wouldn't change anything. I said no way jose. Regardless of whether or not we ever reconcile I want to be able to tell our 3 kids I did everything I could to keep our family together.

  • @fifibatman638

    @fifibatman638

    4 жыл бұрын

    So how are things now

  • @stephanekirkpatrick8162

    @stephanekirkpatrick8162

    Жыл бұрын

    Amen! Everyone tells me to divorce my husband, that he is dangerous and never going to change, but I am still believing God for his salvation and becoming a servant of God…. I would rather just live my life without him and be happily separated until God reaches his heart…. If God chooses not to reach him, then at least I was “still and let God be God”….

  • @JordanNHoule

    @JordanNHoule

    Жыл бұрын

    I was just told that by the pastor who married us 12 years ago. It was devastating and against all counseling that I’ve been through the past two years. I’d love an update, regardless the outcome. Definitely praying for you and your bride.

  • @rarebookreviewer

    @rarebookreviewer

    Жыл бұрын

    Bingo…

  • @yanilovee31

    @yanilovee31

    10 ай бұрын

    @@fifibatman638more than likely still separated or divorced. People need to listen to the other person when they are adamant about not staying married. Sad situation but this is real life situations.

  • @lakelady7793
    @lakelady77935 жыл бұрын

    I did. I made it as difficult for him as possible and it gave him time to think. He was having an affair and now says the affair was the biggest mistake of his life. Our marriage is now stronger than it’s ever been. I wasn’t trying to be vindictive either, just knew he wasn’t thinking clearly.

  • @yuvadnc8109

    @yuvadnc8109

    5 жыл бұрын

    Great

  • @lakelady7793

    @lakelady7793

    5 жыл бұрын

    Dillards Shopper I agree, this is all important. However, there are instances where the unmet need is psychological ( issues from childhood ) and now amount of sex would have prevented the affair. Open communication and trust is so important in a relation.

  • @SuperMysavior

    @SuperMysavior

    5 жыл бұрын

    LakeLady77 Can you share please what exactly did you do ,I am in desperate situation now,he is pushing me to sign divorce papers, our kids is grown up, how do I postpone it?

  • @eminemsw49ify

    @eminemsw49ify

    4 жыл бұрын

    Thank you. Needed to see this

  • @joedagostino9802

    @joedagostino9802

    2 жыл бұрын

    How did he realize this? I need my wife to snap out of it and come home.

  • @violetharprashad9805
    @violetharprashad98054 жыл бұрын

    My husband file for Divorce, I begged him to give me one chance,it’s just communication was handle poorly, we r presently separated, this hurts so much, I do not wish this on no one, marriage is a blessing from god,until death do we part

  • @Shawn-zt3gv

    @Shawn-zt3gv

    2 жыл бұрын

    How did it go?

  • @claudiahicklin1073
    @claudiahicklin10735 жыл бұрын

    Divorced is not freedom

  • @jezzakuc8002
    @jezzakuc80025 жыл бұрын

    This is nice. Amber shared her real life story...I hope I can talk to her...

  • @amybostic1439
    @amybostic1439 Жыл бұрын

    Amber’s statement at 12:40 is PROFOUND

  • @alexisbeltran7110
    @alexisbeltran71103 жыл бұрын

    My story pretty much... Guess I'ma attend workshop on my own too... And it's true actions speak louder than words with time they realize it. I've been the best I could be and at work people love me and hug me. I just haven't had a chance for my wife to see that but I'm sure the word will travel

  • @thenorthface4
    @thenorthface4 Жыл бұрын

    This is all really helpful. I started the divorce process after I found out my husbands affair. I’m trying to drag out my divorce legally by being there for my husband as a friend. However in the very beginning of all of this he did tell me everything you said, im jealous, don’t I want him to be happy? However, once the affair ends and im there for him im hoping we can salvage our marriage.

  • @MalcolmWong
    @MalcolmWong4 жыл бұрын

    Thank you and I hope miracle

  • @two2girlsmomma
    @two2girlsmomma5 жыл бұрын

    I live in Texas and my husband is filing for a divorce and guess what? I have no say in this and it will be honored by the State. All it takes is 60 days once it's filed for a court to honor the divorce and the courts don't even need my signature if my husband wants to divorce me. Sad.

  • @brambletbrats3184

    @brambletbrats3184

    4 жыл бұрын

    No fault divorce is one of the worst things ever perpetrated on society. It's straight from the pit of hell. Stand strong and may God bless you.

  • @empress_highpriestess3307

    @empress_highpriestess3307

    4 жыл бұрын

    No fault isn't the issue..a spouse that wants to get divorced will do so..and will resent or ignore you, in the meanwhile; additionally, one who wants to fight the divorce can hmm and haw..dragging the outcome out for YEARS.. even in a ' no fault ' state..sadly

  • @KatyaM78

    @KatyaM78

    3 жыл бұрын

    I’m so sorry. It’s the same here in Arizona. There’s really nothing I can do about it.

  • @Lauren-vd4qe

    @Lauren-vd4qe

    2 жыл бұрын

    why wd you want to stay with someone who doesnt want you? be THANKFUL you are RID of him!

  • @christianmagno984

    @christianmagno984

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@empress_highpriestess3307 you are a marxist seems like.

  • @johnathanellis9010
    @johnathanellis90104 жыл бұрын

    i think the wayward spouse thinks you arent wanting to save the marriage because how much you love them . they dont see that you are willing to change negative behavior.they see it as you are obsessed with me and just dont want me to be happy. i wish i knew 5 months , 5 years ago 25 years ago when we met what i know now. if you dont have the courage to fight for a marriage how are you going to be the one person for them that no matter what will always be there ? If you cant do that how do you stand during the bad times ? How do you get to true deep everlasting love? The world thinks its always supposed to be super exciting and fun 24/7 and if not divorce immediately look everyone is doing it.

  • @barbarameyer8134
    @barbarameyer81342 жыл бұрын

    It's Your Decision. I can't tell you what to do. But listen to your ❤ Heart. I Love You 💘 XOXO

  • @Rochelle1510
    @Rochelle1510 Жыл бұрын

    This is the question im battling since few days as my case hearing is coming soon n i dont know if i need to fight

  • @juanmadera5180
    @juanmadera51804 жыл бұрын

    I hope with all my soul i get your same result amber. I miss my wife so much.. my doors are closing fast.. and im a man so its but so much i can do from the legal side.. We don't have assets or the nor my name is on the apartment least or joint accounts.. we only have is our son. I never thought i be here. I been going to through this since 4/1/2020. And whats started as a break now is just separating leading to divorce. FAST. just thinking about it i want to cry. I love my family. I love my wife.. but she said she is fed up and her happiness isnt with me. She doesnt want to be with me.

  • @pebcak

    @pebcak

    4 жыл бұрын

    I hear you. I'm going through something very similar with my wife from around the same time. It's awful.

  • @dkgnew

    @dkgnew

    3 жыл бұрын

    Nothing is Impossible- just keep working on Fixing you, to be one of the BEST husband/father possible. Read Research, Repent ( live this way) and Wait patiently with much Prayers- God will give you the strength!!!

  • @graylobo133

    @graylobo133

    2 жыл бұрын

    I hear you brother. There are lots of ppl in same hole. Is sad to see a family brake down, but remember you also do not want someone who does not want a family...how can you respect them.

  • @bellum99

    @bellum99

    2 жыл бұрын

    Find what you enjoy .. do that .. do not remarry

  • @Filthycoffin
    @Filthycoffin Жыл бұрын

    I want to keep my marriage but I got a traumatic brain injury and he no longer wants me since I can’t meet his expectations atm. I’ve been living in my car trying to stay alive with this injury. I pray I get well so I can be human and take care of my family 😢

  • @JohanJanseVanVuuren-ot4cx
    @JohanJanseVanVuuren-ot4cx7 ай бұрын

    Is it wise to have a sitdown talk with lawyer and wife before divorce date I informed her lawyer that I hoped that we could sort things out what should I do

  • @isaiah58cry
    @isaiah58cry Жыл бұрын

    Do you have a video about leagl tenr for contract marraige vs covenant marriage

  • @MarriageHelper

    @MarriageHelper

    Жыл бұрын

    Hey Edwin, unfortunately we do not! But we will add that to the list of video ideas! Thank you.

  • @Lauren-vd4qe
    @Lauren-vd4qe2 жыл бұрын

    I dont see the point of dragging out a divorce. If you or the other party wants OUT, let them OUT. its HELL trying to get AWAY from a horrible person when all they want is you to come back so they can be HORRIBLE AGAIN to you. I told my ex's marriage counselor (in private) you can save your breath because im NOT going back to him, hes a horrible dangerous person, when i described what had been going on, he gave me $20 for a taxi and let me out the back door of his office without my ex knowing, told me to RUN, and he would delay him as long as possible so i could escape, which i did, for which i was forever thankful....

  • @christianmagno984

    @christianmagno984

    2 жыл бұрын

    You are the typical evil satanic Marxist! SHAME ON YOU! You are the example of why the world is so wrong.

  • @jettjensen4902
    @jettjensen49023 жыл бұрын

    What can you do when your spouse left you mostly because of something you said or did that they say they can never forgive.

  • @Lauren-vd4qe

    @Lauren-vd4qe

    2 жыл бұрын

    what can you do? LEARN NOT to do it in your NEXT relationship.

  • @davidbailey1718
    @davidbailey17183 жыл бұрын

    Looooove this video

  • @mxthunder2
    @mxthunder24 жыл бұрын

    Glad to hear this story of hope. its great advice. its just so odd that all of the content on MH is geared for the person that wants to save the marriage when the other spouse had an affair. I am standing for my marriage, but I am the one that made the mistakes. Not much advice for people in my position.

  • @MarriageHelper

    @MarriageHelper

    4 жыл бұрын

    Hi mxthunder2, thank you for your feedback! It's important for us to keep this in mind since we work with people in many different situations who stand for their marriage (whether they had an affair, their spouse had an affair, no affair was involved, control issues, communication issues, and more). We want to make sure we keep our content & videos relevant to viewers like you! :) All the best- MH Team

  • @ericab8845

    @ericab8845

    Жыл бұрын

    I’m in the same position… I had an affair but I am Extremely remorseful and want more than anything to save my marriage.

  • @madisonandthespirits
    @madisonandthespirits2 жыл бұрын

    I’ve waited long enough, he doesn’t want to work on it with me…

  • @yuvadnc8109
    @yuvadnc81095 жыл бұрын

    I am standing my ground nearly 2 years...

  • @claudiahicklin1073

    @claudiahicklin1073

    5 жыл бұрын

    See KZread video 7 years divorced they came back Is real testimony

  • @juanmadera5180

    @juanmadera5180

    4 жыл бұрын

    How you standing your ground for 2 years. Because i been going through this for just 2 month and im hurt to my core.

  • @KidsClub123

    @KidsClub123

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@juanmadera5180 with Jesus and holy spirit its possible

  • @SuperMysavior
    @SuperMysavior5 жыл бұрын

    How do I drag out to sign papers if my kids grown-up, help,he pushing me hard

  • @yennien88
    @yennien88 Жыл бұрын

    I dont, I told him I dont want and I want to work on our problems. I dont want it to be bad and if it is then its not going to be better soon. For him its the best right now and I think he will change his mind in time. If he wants contact or be togheter we start with teraphy then. But we dont have kids, I think it would be diffrent then

  • @kathyamweg8742
    @kathyamweg87423 жыл бұрын

    How do u do this when u hav no children..but we hav been married 18 years together 19 years. & he is in full blown limerence & has shown patterns of this alot in his life. I just want to save my marriage

  • @rosegimbert6213

    @rosegimbert6213

    3 жыл бұрын

    Do not let anyone come in between you and your relationship goal. Get them back to you and make their love strong like the ocean

  • @rosegimbert6213

    @rosegimbert6213

    3 жыл бұрын

    I can connect you to someone who helped me attract my ex partner back to me after separation

  • @rosegimbert6213

    @rosegimbert6213

    3 жыл бұрын

    What.xap

  • @rosegimbert6213

    @rosegimbert6213

    3 жыл бұрын

    + 2348119132200

  • @Lauren-vd4qe

    @Lauren-vd4qe

    2 жыл бұрын

    why would you want to be with someone who doesnt want you? move on!!

  • @DeSantis5
    @DeSantis53 жыл бұрын

    I SO want to drag out my divorce, but in the state of Florida, I can't. What do I do now?

  • @rosegimbert6213

    @rosegimbert6213

    3 жыл бұрын

    Do not let anyone come in between you and your relationship goal. Get them back to you and make their love strong like the ocean

  • @rosegimbert6213

    @rosegimbert6213

    3 жыл бұрын

    I can connect you to someone who helped me attract my ex partner back to me after separation

  • @rosegimbert6213

    @rosegimbert6213

    3 жыл бұрын

    What.xap

  • @DeSantis5

    @DeSantis5

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@rosegimbert6213 I can connect you with someone who helped me get my salvation from sin... JESUS CHRIST. Give it up Satan, you are DEFEATED!

  • @Lauren-vd4qe

    @Lauren-vd4qe

    2 жыл бұрын

    WHY would you want someone who doesnt want you? let them go; dont repeat the same mistakes in your next relationship; move on...

  • @bobbob9364
    @bobbob93643 жыл бұрын

    This is a very unbalanced conversation,it would be interesting to hear what the husbands take on it is

  • @rarebookreviewer

    @rarebookreviewer

    Жыл бұрын

    You can actually hear their story if you look for it on here. Her and her husband both share together. Her statements here are fair and her husband would agree.

  • @katiebr
    @katiebr4 жыл бұрын

    Omg it’s so hard!! 😫 my husband is ready for divorce but never asked because he didn’t want to hurt me, but he says we don’t have connection and I’m not his type 🙄 seriously! We have 2 kids and he is destroying our family , I’m so broken! I don’t know how to deal with him, I’m so , so angry!!

  • @drfabsoonjd

    @drfabsoonjd

    3 жыл бұрын

    Praying

  • @JordanNHoule

    @JordanNHoule

    Жыл бұрын

    Praying Katie… update?

  • @MaybeDavid

    @MaybeDavid

    Жыл бұрын

    So sorry to hear this. You must be suffering greatly.

  • @montramaya5324
    @montramaya53245 жыл бұрын

    How about marriage with no children together. Separation for 1.5 years only thing he don’t want to divorce because he don’t want to lose his benefits and don’t want to help me financially only thing he want he can keep all of his money.

  • @markziegler925
    @markziegler9253 жыл бұрын

    What if there is a no contact order until devorce is over

  • @markziegler925

    @markziegler925

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@rachealflorian8112 I'm willing to try anything as long as it's with prayer and the holy spirit

  • @christianmagno984

    @christianmagno984

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@markziegler925 thats my sad situation in communists australia! The government meddling our life!

  • @wolfsden
    @wolfsden2 ай бұрын

    Sarah's not having an affair, we're both Christians, but she absolutely cannot stand me, anymore. I'm going to let go and let God, because there's absolutely nothing I will be able to do to change her mind; she loves me but she hates me because of it. I'm already with Marriage Helper, but I can't keep going with it.

  • @bobbob9364
    @bobbob93643 жыл бұрын

    I am concerned about even getting a gf /she’s going to take my pension and I have not even met her,I am going to get drunk that will sort it

  • @Lauren-vd4qe

    @Lauren-vd4qe

    2 жыл бұрын

    doesnt sound like you are mature enough thinker to get a gf yet.

  • @brittanybradford9239
    @brittanybradford9239 Жыл бұрын

    I'm dragging mine out and making it as difficult as possible so she has to spend money. I don't care if I lose or win. I just want it to cost. I'm not even paying a lawyer bc I don't gaf.

  • @tired_brickmason34

    @tired_brickmason34

    5 ай бұрын

    My wife is doing this to me right now and I hate it!!💰💰😤😤💰But still no amount of money is worth my freedom and peace of mind.

  • @mrindiha4325
    @mrindiha43252 жыл бұрын

    I love my wife i want to except her if she wants to

  • @cheerleader9342
    @cheerleader93423 жыл бұрын

    Dragging it out hurts everyone just as much. I am currently now two years still trying to get out of my marriage, my husband is dragging it out and slowing it down when the marriage has been dead for years. It’s a horrible and miserable situation for everyone. Your spouse has a right to ask you to stay but you also have a right to leave, we do not practice forced marriage and you should never be trapped against your will. At the end of the day we are all human and should love and respect one another to move forwards amicably. Here’s to happiness for everyone no matter what your situation xx

  • @baphithi

    @baphithi

    3 жыл бұрын

    Does the other person not also have the right to not be in the situation you are trying to put them in? Divorcing a person is a very selfish act, except in cases where there is abuse or one’s life is in danger. All you think about is what you want without any consideration whatsoever for what the other person wants, or does not want. Stop and think about the other person for just a minute out of your day.

  • @valeria-militiamessalina5672

    @valeria-militiamessalina5672

    2 жыл бұрын

    In an ideal world…

  • @Lauren-vd4qe

    @Lauren-vd4qe

    2 жыл бұрын

    surely your lawyer can get you out of this; or move to a state that allows a no fault divorce then just file from that state; stop the legal action in the original state and start it in the no fault state.

  • @Rochelle1510
    @Rochelle1510 Жыл бұрын

    Thank you Lord Jesus Christ for restoration in my marriage with Floyd Custodio Goes my husband

  • @user-dm1xh6bz3i
    @user-dm1xh6bz3i10 күн бұрын

    Get a divorce and take everything from the cheating spouse because they knew what they did

  • @ixxgxx
    @ixxgxx5 жыл бұрын

    Yeah let’s Talk about the cons. I filed. Sold the house. 90k each. Then she dragged it out For two years. Final court hearing in a Month on parenting time since she didn’t want me to have kids overnight. We have lost all our house funds to start over to give our kids two new houses and to go to counseling for positive coparenting. We each paid 100 thousand %#€£ing dollars on lawyers and family court! Worth it to divorce? Hell yes! Worth it that she dragged it out and wasted our house funds to start over? It was out of my hands and the family court took advantage of the strife. Church help? Total bs. Churches do not help with people that are divorcing because they see divorce as not an option and therefore there is no “positive” way to divorce.

  • @ixxgxx

    @ixxgxx

    5 жыл бұрын

    Dillards Shopper not have married in the first place since I ignored inner voice during the 7 years of courtship. It would have been healthier for us both to pull the plug earlier. But conditioning until death do us part and Christian condemnation of divorce kept us in it way longer than was necessary. People in toxic relationships need to end it fast And Not linger on hope that it’s going to get better when all signs show that it never will. Give each other peace and the acceptance of letting go will be easier in order to make each other and (children) healthier.

  • @empress_highpriestess3307

    @empress_highpriestess3307

    4 жыл бұрын

    I know and feel EXACTLY as you do

  • @jking309

    @jking309

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@ixxgxx God is pretty clear on divorce- He hates it. Why did you file?

  • @Rochelle1510
    @Rochelle1510 Жыл бұрын

    Thank you lord Jesus Christ for restoration in my marriage with Floyd Custodio Goes my husband in advance