In marriage ,the word permission should not be used.It is not a relationship between superior and subordinate.You owe each other respect and accountability.Period.

Permission? He is not my father. Informing me of my plans yes.

Fully agree to the lady in the black and white. Informing your partner and discuss it not permission. Mature respect, accountability, and so much…..Good job everyone stating your points.

I agree with Maryam, it is not a matter of permission. She has explained it well. Nothing more to add.

Discuss and agreed is better than permission

The lady at the centre spoke my mind. There are some special places which, based on the likely circumstances and the effect on either or both parties or even the family, the man may say yes or no. Going to such places may turn out negative and both parties may have to pay for it, so saying no with good reasons isnt out of it. However men shouldnt just say no for some selfish reasons or out of ego, jealousy or envy. For a man to say no, it must be for a very important reason. Every one needs some guardian whose yes or no means a lot in life to avoid taking a wrong step. I also believe that even a woman may also say no to a man's decision at times if theres a reason. Respect and love is the rule of the game.

Adultes discuss and come to an agreement.

@oyinoluwayelu7846

2 жыл бұрын

That’s agreement. Not a slave and master rule.

I don't seek for permission to go out. I inform him of where I want to go. So he knows my whereabouts.

Hmmm... Ephesians 5:22 says "Wives, Submit to your husbands at to the Lord..." but the same Ephesians 5:21 says "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ". Each time we make it a one sided thing, we make it difficult for the womenfolk to understand the principle. Are we saying that the "submit to one another" is not as important as "submit to your husbands". Submission between husband and wife is about mutual respect. Being the head of the home does not imply being dictatorial or autocratic. Ephesians 5 is telling us, yes the man is the head of the home but you should mutually respect each other.

@jesuswindschannel5264

2 жыл бұрын

But he mentioned a man should love his wife as the bible commanded, ( what is love?) Is love a small commandment given to a husband to observe toward wife? If you truly love your wife, you will serve her, that is what leadership is all about ( serving others), in this case serving your family...

Mariam is glowing beautifully. The caller is right to a very large extent, this is why who a woman settles down with matters so much. With a godly and matured man permission will not be a big deal bcos you know if not 100 percent he knows what's best for you. *My own contribution is that matured men give *permissions* without bias or selfish reasons while women give *suitable suggestions*, of a true you can't really permit a man on what or what not to do, if as a woman you remain persistent on giving permissions, the man will act like he is still in that marriage whereas he has long left. Lol. Men wey dey quick tire for something. I added to this comment base on what recently happened to singer Osinachi, ladies look very well before you leap.

So if u inform him that u are going out and he says don't go...what is the differences...?...Get married to an Authoritative man then u will understand.... that both Permission and Informing him , end in the same responds from him...

@marychristina3413

2 жыл бұрын

That is why we won’t marry authoritative men. Simple. You say it like it’s a good thing.

Beecee says it all....The caller said it all...Do what works for ur marriage... but let it be to the Glory of God...

Yes it's about safety and accountability. It's not about permission but more respect because there shouldn't be a controlling element from the man.

Maryam always has the best contribution!!!! I agree with everything she said! Uncle oshe checking character in wealth, I hail you oh! The man was simply talking from 2 sides of his mouth, what a shame! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I don’t know if it’s permission per say. But the respectful thing to do (both person involved in the relationship) should discuss the outing before , and commence with said outing only if both parties agreed. While a man love language is respect, respect given is respect received .

I really appreciate you ladies alot .. Thanks for always educating our new generation ladies

Right on Maryam !

All I can say is choose who you go to for advice. I'll pick Miriam based on this topic.

Please let's be careful! This is what makes some men oppress their wives. Because whatever the case the wife should submit to him. Forgetting even for parents, it is written obey in the Lord. When it comes to oppression, our patriarchial society will remember the Bible talks of submission. They will not remember the Bible says he should love her and sacrifice for her as Christ did for the Church. How many men keep that part? The Bible was not written so that men can be on horses while women are downtrodden. By the way the Bible also says submit unto one another. When anyone talks to you from a good place, for your good, you will definitely listen, whether your husband or your younger sibling.

My husband and I do not have a perfect relationship by any stretch. I want to preface my comment with that! Now, onto the matter. Yes he seeks my 'permission' before going out and I do the same. We don't ask each other in a childish tone but he will say 'i want to go out to do X or Y'. I then respond something like, 'Ok cool, please dont spend too late'. If he wants to leave late at night then i will ask him to stay, vast majority of the time, if i say 'babe please stay', he will stay. If he really wants to go, he will use force and go. If he tells me to stay, then 100 percent absolutely i will stay. All of this goes out the window if we are having a big fight.

@oceejekwam6829

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for providing a true context. May God continue to bless your family.

The hosting lady and middle lady are making sense to me and they have wisdom

It is funny how this man calls to talk about men being the spiritual head of the house and how women need to take permission from men before doing anything. I wish men will apply the same standards and rules to themselves when the issue of men cheating on their wives comes up.I hope he will call to repeat this nonsense he is saying.I hope he will remember to say that a man is a spiritual authority and leader over his wife and that the example men set is what women should follow as in cheating, staying out late,drinking and getting drunk etc.

@sidicniy874

2 жыл бұрын

It takes someone with spiritual discernment to understand the foundation knowledge of God's words and his commandment on what a man is unto his wife and the role of both in marriage. As long as God says the man is the head and the crown to the woman's head, there is no argument to make because the question should be what is the difference between Christian marriages and modern marriages? then people can debate.

@olajidebalogun7832

2 жыл бұрын

Don't get agitated. Pastor's example only refer to men who adhere to the divine guidelines of their marriages. A cheat of a husband could not be said to be adhering to divine rules of his marital union- He's simply an unworthy example.

@yinksx6084

2 жыл бұрын

@@olajidebalogun7832 but when we encounter these men majority of the time our focus still remains on the wife. Why is that?

@olajidebalogun7832

2 жыл бұрын

@@yinksx6084 Focus on a wife in a challenging situation with a bad husband has to be for the purpose of rescuing the female from an abusive relationship- In other words, Seperation has to be the goal.

@yinksx6084

2 жыл бұрын

@@olajidebalogun7832unfortunately this is hardly ever the focus.

I think I'd go with obiageli's view this time around. . You deal with your spouse based of how you both understand each other.

Maryam is spot on….

informed would be appropriate from both spouses

Being the head of the family actually means serving your wife and family, And the man must do it as Christ serves His church! Is a very big responsibility (task) given to a man by Christ Jesus! If you truly love your wife as Jesus commanded, of course, you will trust and respect her also! But this kind of teachings belongs to those in Christ Jesus...

@yinksx6084

2 жыл бұрын

This is it! Too many of our fathers are men that are heads who serve themselves, not their families. The examples that were discussed are examples most of us have seen. The stories are too many.

I'm sure the correct phrase is to "seek agreement" not "seek permission". U seek agreement with a husband or partner, u are not seeking permission because permission suggests an element of superiority and inferiority. But in general, in marriage and even in relationship, sometimes u inform and other times u seek agreement. That's my opinion.

@njemanzehowells7518

Жыл бұрын

LOL 😂😆 U're just toasting bread...Oga take permission with sense, we all do this thing behind closed doors, stop playing around it because u're outside..

@user-id6su3nz4q

Жыл бұрын

When it comes to safety the husband is in charge because he protects the wife so if he doesn’t want her to go out to protect her, she doesnt

Either we accept the word of God or we allow societal pressure or class determine our lives ....that man spoke the mind of God.

@olajidebalogun7832

2 жыл бұрын

That's exactly the root cause of the problem for our modern women. Divine guidelines are too patriarchal for them, hence they gravitate towards secularism. A privileged Muslim wife neighbor of mine recently blackmailed her Muslim husband with Secured FIRS job appointment letter in exchange for him going to a local court to sign up for monogamy. The man accepted grudgingly. Isn't this unfair?

@Yemi927

2 жыл бұрын

@@olajidebalogun7832 The way she went about it was wrong. She should not have married a Muslim man if she knew she couldn't handle it or take a bow if she couldn't stay. It's so unfortunate the way men behave like women are not human beings. You as a man, why are you so uncomfortable with hearing a woman has several husbands. Why is it so easy to expect a woman to accept it. Anyways to each his own. You leave your parents house taking instructions as their child. You come to your husband's house and someone is still treating you like a child rather than a partner. So unfortunate. When would women be allowed to just be adults and things discussed rather than instructed. It has nothing to do with modern, just treat your wife with respect. A full grown woman. Oga ooooo. May GOD give us grace and wisdom.

@olajidebalogun7832

2 жыл бұрын

@@Yemi927 Marriage is divinely ordained cover for spouses. The example I painted is an Islamic marriage of which polygamy is consequentially permissible. The rich Muslim lady should have insisted on monogamy as a condition for entering the contract based on the man's acceptance. Divinely guided marital unions don't ridicule anyone, instead it offers security and protection. Which would you pick...? A plate with sweets openly exposed OR A plate with sweets properly wrapped.... Religious based marriage is a fortress my dear....

@ahanorjohn2885

2 жыл бұрын

@@Yemi927 Your point is very valid, marriage should be solidified in friendship and both partners should be submissive to one another...that’s why a woman should not settle for less, marry a man who u think has the prerequisite values to be a head. Men should LOVE their wives. and love is quite deep. A woman should also recognize that the man is the head, meaning he protects, provide, provide leadership and when it comes to it he has the final say. Woman open your eyes don’t just marry any man just because you love him , he must show qualities of leadership. A man must be everything a woman want but the only thing she has to give is submission...submit and guide him in wisdom and love

Bisi, you are right. Balance is reguired. Permission is required for and both parties

The woman at the middle is very right. If you want your marriage to last, please listen to her

Mutual consent or information is important. For example, will a spouse go out to party or visit overnight without d partner's knowledge or consent? This could be a recipe for disaster. Mutual respect & accountability is important.

Listening to the caller, Mr. Akothia, made me fall in love with my husband over and over again!!! I will never complain ever, again. I can't live with this caller for one month!!! Hearing him choked the life out of me!!! I can only have one father..my husband doesn't qualify as one!!! Some women are suffering!!!!

@k4life781

2 жыл бұрын

You must thank God for blessing you with a wonderful wife. Truly, his wife must be in a kind of bondage. Using spirituality to imprison women. Accountability should be reciprocal but it doesn't make me less of a man. Some men suffer from inferiority complex and all they do is remind their spouses that they are the head yet, they can provide for their families to defend their stance. Any man who listens to this man shouldn't marry an educated, intelligent and civilized woman. You will end up in trouble.

@paulgondje2914

2 жыл бұрын

Its not suffering to keep to your lane and remain in your position in a family unit. Thats where the woman enjoys her full potential and blessings. There is always a head in any organized unit. If you continue with this your mindset you will fail woefully in life and in marriage.

@angelicakweku5293

2 жыл бұрын

@@paulgondje2914 Good luck to you!!! My marriage is not an organization!!! It is not a factory/job!!!!

@angelicakweku5293

2 жыл бұрын

@@k4life781 Also you will end up retro progressuve in that marriage and unhappy!!!

@paulgondje2914

2 жыл бұрын

@@k4life781 You don't know what you are talking about. The position of the head of the home is not meant for two people but for the man only. The woman is fulfilled and beautiful in her position. Any attempt to drag the man's position with him will always turn out negative and destructive. You don't have two presidents but you can have President and Vice President. You don't have two drivers in a car at a time. Your line of reasoning is so fake, and you will not do well in life if you don't embrace the truth

The ladies look beautiful, Beecee face is so beautiful… lovely topic and debate by these women 👏

The young generation are running from it because they’ve seen first hand how it works. Submission with no love in sight. The bible prescribes for both. Yet pastors still focus so much time only preaching submission. What impression do they think that gives to men? A woman who truly feels loves will rarely have an issue with submission. Furthermore the bible clearly says submit one to another.

Very interesting conversation!! Be wise like mother Eve oo.

It is not permission but informing. Even my hubby that dont inform me when he wants to go out, I dont feel good about it. Just like Beecee some matter u hav to discuss n get ur partner to buy in. Mr. Theo has done well with the permission

Lovely dress Mariam!

I love the answers pastor theo A. gave

Mariam, please don't stress yourself, you are dwelling on a higher level of mindset than many Nigerians.You are right again!! Nigerians are dwelling on wrong, false Bible doctrine, nobody bothers to research anything..lf you truly, really love someone wouldn't you want them to have the best of life possible rather than trying to shackle them in the name of marriage? The last time l checked, there was nowhere it says the man should be the watchman to a partner, father, headmaster, prefect or time keeper,it says marriage,two different things. Amos 3.3 can two work together unless they agreed. It's actually talking about the physical body and the mind, the spirit self.Lots wife in the Bible is talking about the human mind not a physical woman.She became a pillar of salt, salt brings out flovours in food. It means a gracious, tasteful, flavourful, loving person etc.not a physical person turning into physical salt...Sarah,which is actually Sahara, saara is a yoruba word and tradition, a thankful, grateful mindset/person, attitude not a physical woman that was married to a physical Abraham either. The story of Abraham and Sarah (Saara) is teaching us the importance of gratitude, thanksgiving, appreciation to your faith in the realisation of desires. It has nothing to do with two physical couple. The mind is the true wife, the divine truth, the wife is the Head not the physical man. The mind/wife controls every part of the body, when to eat, what we eat, where we go etc.is the responsibility of the wife,our mind. Everyone, the man and the woman has a wife who is in total control of the man/physical body. All those callers are speaking rubbish,absolute garbage today, sorry. They would rather remain enslaved in a foreign religion and doctrine than to be free. Sending lots of love and light. Thank you.

@olajidebalogun7832

2 жыл бұрын

My dear.. marriage açcording to my islamic belief is half of one's religion. Following divine guidelines of one's faith as values and principles in a marital union isn't slavery. It's security and respectable status for both partners.

Character in wealth indeed, May God give us all wisdom and understanding.

This same man is the head was wht killed osinachi...the husband didn't allow her visist for family for 8 years till she does...what kind of head can we call that?I agree with Maria joor...religion had killed a lot of marriages.

Mr Akatugba should stop preaching on this programme. He's sounding like misogynistic. Mariam you too get sense. Twale for you 👍👍👊👊

What is Maryam saying for God's sake There's are some cases you have to take PERMISSION from your husband . While some you just inform your husband Depending on the case you can't just say you inform your husband So as a married woman you can pack your bags and say you're traveling without telling your husband and taking permission

Thanks to Obiajulu for reminding the fellow that all your audience are not Christian and I must say that your program is too Christian friendly. Please try and carry everyone along regardless of their faith.

Men marry people who are not as exposed because they want those they can bully.

At what point in Africa did marriage become spiritual ?? Before the Oyibo came or after. It’s blood they flow in our body.

@danielumeghalu5108

2 жыл бұрын

Marriage has always been spiritual in Africa

@josephfofana2920

2 жыл бұрын

The problem with us African is that we forget to understand our ancestors were practicing marriages, sex before marriage before religions came to us.

@barbarafadare9579

2 жыл бұрын

@@josephfofana2920 Sex before Marriage you say?, no wonder those that came with Christianity were able to conquer us in Africa and take us as slaves, where were all the traditions we had when the white man came to conquer? those gods and traditions didn't save us from being subjugated till now, so what happen?

Morayo can you please make a topic on consequences of desperation..

I have personally witnessed men who are not good decisions makers, and will not help their wives, where the wife is the sole provider. And yet we talk about how the man is the head, doesn’t the Bible also talk about a man who does not provide for his home?

@funmifaks

2 жыл бұрын

Taking permission from a man that cannot even make a logical decision.

Go Mariam!!!!!!

Beeceee I agree with you but this Pastor's explanation is a no no to me Biko

Let's be deceiving ourselves and playing with words. The truth is that they are all words that are synonyms to each other (permission and agreement) and they really mean the same thing. I must have my way is the reason why most marriages are failing. Taking permission does not make us less of our spouses. I have made it a point of duty to let my woman have her way anytime she reason along Mariam's thoughts especially in decisions that affects the family. This is the only way we can avoid conflict but does not necessarily mean I am happy. Thank you Ifeoma and Segun and also the invited speaker. You spoke my mind. We will have a greater society when women submit to the Spiritual truth of their "calling". Their is no way a man will not love a woman that "submits". These are the little details of submission that the scripture was talking about. In all, there must be unselfish considerations from both parties and this should not be difficult if there is genuine love.

I think it will good to know that stand-point or position for/against during the discussion of a topic are staged and imposed on the panelists. Sometimes the opinion expressed by the ladies may not really be the true reflection of their lives. This is so in order to ensure balanced conversation.

@oceejekwam6829

2 жыл бұрын

Good point.

Beecee is a very beautiful woman. This TV show is not doing justice to her beauty cos I hv seen her live

Theo, I don’t quite agree. Marriage requires a mutual understanding and respect. Spiritual head indeed. A lot of women are married to the devil 👿. “ obey really !, even if the man is leading the family to hell”. Women lay their lives to bring another human being to this world 🌎 as if that’s not enough then we have to take on more unacceptable things because a man wants his ego massaged. Theo,when a man disobeys God does he blasphemes God’s word too?. This your preaching appears one sided. This is why the new generation isn’t interested in this marriage stuffs because all they hear is woman this woman that. Uncle disobediences, women are not slaves. Some insecure men everywhere looking for validation.( no can do mate!) An adult taking permission from another human being who isn’t responsible enough to know that where there is love and one mind. Everything happens with an ease. A vital part is effective communication and God’s grace. Be each other friends and have each other back. All this bible quotation doesn’t mean your marriage will work. There is no guarantee. If you want submit and obey to your grave, a man who is crazy is crazy so free yourself and watch out for red flags before you say I do.( very serious business) . Forget weddings and focus on the person’s character and traits. Please speak to your president Buhari about his disobedience because Nigeria is on fire. It’s snowing in this spring over here,I just don’t understand.Please let me go and drink my tea ☕️.

@kaycoks3352

2 жыл бұрын

100% jare. This Bible that men like quoting but don't like to quote complete. They say obedience unto the Lord. If a husband says you should go and kill someone will you start looking for how to massage his ego so that he will change his mind? Life is short! The time a woman should use to enjoy her life, she should be using it to do ego press-up! If a man is unreasonable and wicked, he has lost the right to demand even minimum respect. This is why some women are forced to join forces with their husband to molest a neighbour or a child, etc. Because her Lord and master has said so; so, so-be-it! After all he is the man. If they say this is different then the same way a woman in any of the three scenarios painted by the ladies should go ahead and do what's best for herself and children.

I just love the lady in the middle 🙋🏼🙋🏼

For any journey of life that involves more than one person, there should be a driver.

Me I’m confused with the word permission. It sounds like abuse of my rights as an adult. I don’t need another father and mother. However there are certain things that affect the family as a unit and you both need to be in agreement on such issues. A family is more prosperous when you don’t try to burn out the essence of your partner through control.

Theo don go spiritual oooo

When Nigeria becomes a secular society, it will because of conversations like this and men like Theo 😂😂

I am reading for a living🙌😅

What if your husband does not agree with what or where you are going or do?

Pastor Pastor... wahala dey o! Who hurt you?

So if we re not a believer, does that means we don't hv right to my decision?

If you don’t want to take permission from your husband then remain single Its simple

The problem is the difference between Christian marriage and modern marriage. In Christian marriage, the man is the head of the household and in modern marriage is an equal partnership. We cannot claim to be Christians and at the same time, we live our lives as we see fit not according to how God wants us to live. This is the reason why every woman should pray and be patient for God to give them their own Adam and them, his Eve. Marriages of all kinds and of different purposes cannot be compared with divine marriage ordained by God.

A man does not own a women. There are equals and a team before God. They discuss and come to an agreement on what is best. Scripturally, he is the head of the house before God but he is not Master over her without respect.

The better word to use here is consent.

The women of the view are very intelligent and enlightened women. I am proud to identify with this group. The problem with Nigeria is grammer. A lot of religious people need to read their bible fully and stop selecting verses. They should also hold their dictionaries too. What happened to verse that says 'all are equal in the eyes of God', those pastors who said not in the context of marriage as I've heard need to tell me is it goats that are married or man and woman. Get me a scale please and weigh these two words "Love" and "Respect". Which is a greater or heavier virtue. Is there Love without respect? Can you say I love my wife but I don't respect her? I think God said to the woman, atleast respect the man. I think by nature women tend to love. Men are not free from respecting women. God told Abraham to listen to Sarah. The bible says husbands should live with their wives in understanding. Jesus cleans the feet of his disciples teaching them the best way to lead. If love truely exists in a relationship these arguments will not exist because both of them will even worship each other.

2022 we are still massaging men's ego ! . Ose jare mariam

@fashionmeetmodesty

Жыл бұрын

I tire o This is even 2023 and we still are talking about this? Wahala

I believe we can take permission from our husbands because God will hold them accountable, if only the husband has the fear of God. Like in the case of Adam and Eve.Eve was deceived by the serpent but Adam was questioned by God.

The most I can hear is the man has the authority to do and undo but the woman obey because she has no choice to be submissive

I have just one question. Will you also say that a woman should refuse to provide for the home when she has the capacity to and the man doesn’t? Since it’s not her responsibility to?

@ogeugochukwu3351

Жыл бұрын

Submit yourselves one to another is as important as wives submit to your husband and husbands love your wife. That statement came first for a reason.

@ogeugochukwu3351

Жыл бұрын

Marriage is partnership, Amos 3:3 There’s a figure head and leader not a dictator. I tell my husband I’m not willing to drag headship, in-fact I don’t even have strength to, because that is a big role a human can occupy (being a direct representation of Christ)

@ogeugochukwu3351

Жыл бұрын

Please do things in love and not out of self will (both man and woman) and trust me some issues won’t exist in marriage.

No

Maryram, permission is permission. Irrespective of the use of language.

Do you need permission from your employer?

That's why its not good for a woman to marry someone she doesn't believe in, cos if she does her result will be in different shades as the people above.. they even go as much talking about cheating , providing . etc .. its simple, a nuclear family's natural order is hierarchy and as an adult everyone should know their place and be happy.. when in a society people get married for different superficial reason or for sense of accomplishment or from pressure of the society they should get ready or a bitter unsatisfied life

Just see the look on the faces of morayo and co. while pastor emphasises on a man's spiritual authority over his home. We are in trouble with these modern ladies. God bless our submissive mothers.

@marychristina3413

2 жыл бұрын

Even the submissive mothers are cheering on this new generation women low key. Those women were miserable in their marriage. Every generation can never be the same that is why we will continue to evolve. The world will keep moving. You are currently on a modern app using modern technology. Maybe you should return to 1945 and stay there.

@olajidebalogun7832

2 жыл бұрын

@@marychristina3413 The evolution should be for improved ethical conduct and not morally-bankrupt societal values under the guise of A.I-age modernity. Our highly cultured mothers can't be said to be miserable because they raised relatively ethically balanced children who turned out responsible adults compared to this modern-day moms raising impatient Gen-Z millennials.

Even white women they seek permission from their husband,we’re Africans,don’t bring nonsense in to our ways of doing things

Marriage is trade by barter to some people. Smfh

God bless you lady beecee for saying the real truth I don't know what Maryam is spitting Absolute thrash YOU NEED PERMISSION FROM YOUR HUSBAND

Yes, she should take permission before going out

Nigerian women becoming too stubborn to how God designed married. If u r not willing to be submissive do not marry. woman was created for the pleasure of man and help. Simple

@fashionmeetmodesty

Жыл бұрын

Haa, so women are objects May God help you