This explains so much

I have worked with infants to .four year olds for 35 years .an i have always studied .my babies in 1984 ratio .was 12./1 6 week old to 13 months .then the baby is moved to new room 13 month to 24 month old .i believe that day cares where this happens that these children were all split.conflicted.the employee turn over was increadable .the people whom worked at these level jobs .were not educated enough to be able to even try to develop real relational .with these babies who are in this environment from 6 am to 6 pm .in an environmental unstable .inconstant an often abusive .now 35 years later you have adults who have a world of conflict.in their lives .my question to you is am i way off .an reading to much into the observance of the way the generation of children who 12 hr a day from 6 weeks old .to 4 yrs.5 days a week that their was great influence of how that gen.an exposed to that severely inconsistency in their early development has a impact on what mental structures we are seeing in todays rise in narc .an the whole spectrum of mental illness.including addiction problems.we see today .?

@samvaknin

3 жыл бұрын

You are right on the money, but add to the mix soaring divorce rates and single parenting.

@baileyleah2376

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much sam i love an became so involved with brain development that i am absolutely obsessed with doing every thing i could to encourage the education of the people who were caregivers in this very minimized field .of work .an feel so strongly that about how here in usa at least .that this is over last 30 years been a working atmosphere that in my opinion.animals in zoos are treated with more respect than these babies whole generation .i worked hard to bring the important of hiring employees who loved children .and if the world only understood .why would they allow the supposedly most important cherished thing they could be doing raising heathy adults .were being raised now by people who wernt actually the best people for the job .the attitudes of importance an the disastrous effects on our whole world .to come .these generation are our future .an knowing what i know about how disrespected .an totally discarded .mental needs of these children are .wow an now they will be the leaders of this world .ive been scolded an dismissed an criticized.for attempting to bring attention to these observations .into a prospective of understanding .an your the first person ive ever had the pleasure of learning from that really understands what ive been seeing happening with these children's trauma .this whole generation have been institutionalized.a huge experiment .an know pharmacy incorporation are trying to convenience these people to spend money to fix it ? How ? Do you fix this amount of countless social tampering.with human development . So now with all this happening ? In your opinion will babies ever have a chance at healthy neurological brain development .ever or will society's just evolve into chaos .? Of internal wars in their own brains .is the whole world an experiment.the world i mean the human race .its such a enormous idea .because i know we are all broken in some fashion or another .i refuse to curl up in fetal position .an cry .you are giving me strength in understanding thank you so much .ive been so isolated in my own observations .an now i dont feel so alone .in how i have processed how ive observed an my understanding of what ive witnessed .an for my tiny influence on the fraction of babies in my care have done my verry best .to let them have a healthy trusting bond with the time i was allowed in their tiny lives .6 week old babies are not sacks of potatoes that will be fine as long as their breathing .ive met so many parents .that take no account of their children's awareness .an self awareness.as important at all .until its to late ."an now its a problem " .in your wisdom of words ..i spend hrs listening to your lectures .an am so excited too .everyday at this stage of my life you are an inspiration .to my mind to be validated

@mostthegames3723

3 жыл бұрын

This is why I quit school and chose to be a stay-at-home mom, despite only having the income of my husband (at the time). I did not trust that a busy daycare could possibly meet the emotional needs of my babies.

@truthtarot7074

3 жыл бұрын

👏👏👏

Thank you so much, professor!

The development stages of human been. You are brilliant 👏

Why do secondary psychopaths not need regulation? How does someone with bpd regulate their internal environment?

As a borderline, the inner negative dialog (which I believe is my father) , what I tell myself after I feel bad for making a mistake, is it that inner dialog thats "talking" to the dormant self-state? For example I'm telling myself "He's never going to love you because you keep messing up, he's gunna get annoyed with you and eventually leave" is it that dialog that starts to build the anxiety that starts to awaken the self-state? When I would start to panic or feel myself or my emotions start to take over, I try to talk myself down, I try to be the "soothing- parent" if I could (or what dialog would that be)? I had my first full blown episode that went on for a span of 2/3 years before I finally became aware of what exactly happened. It felt at the time my anger had taken on a personality of its own. For something that has happened to me for the first time, at least to my awareness, I guess I lacked the ability to catch on and stop myself before things got worse. Is it a matter of mental strength and awareness to be able to get control of the emerging self-state? I realized something was wrong after noticing I got unusually mean and agree at my partner. It was strange being at battle with myself. Eventually I guess the secondary psychopath emerged and the rest is history. Took a long while to finally come out of it and stabilize back to my "self". Its interesting learning all of this. Its so insightful and clarifying. Thank you Prof. Vaknin for the time put into these videos!

"..like most politicians"..;-).Very funny. Curious to know how clinginess in toddlers 3-4 y.o relates to met/unmet needs...

Professor Vadkin, would you say if someone has bpd, an adult, that they can find identity formation from having needs met from various safe relationships? Then a more consistent sense of self, with more complex needs such as hobbies, interests, can genuinely develop?

@samvaknin

3 жыл бұрын

No. But BPD heals spontaneously or with therapy (DBT). My name is Vaknin, btw.

@michelleinservice6400

3 жыл бұрын

@@samvaknin apologies for the name misspelling.

@officialstace2634

3 жыл бұрын

Dr Vaknin, would a borderline also internalize inanimate objects and places? I get the sense she thinks she owns things like entire mountain ranges or beaches or they are a part of her perhaps?

@samvaknin

3 жыл бұрын

@@officialstace2634 Internal objects don't have to be inner representations of humans.

@ciaraskeleton

2 жыл бұрын

@@samvaknin I want to know more about the spontaneous healing of BPD. I'm fascinated, why and how does it occur? And why is this not possible for the psychopath of narcissist

Impressed

What happens to the borderline after 45? Does he/she mature as 45 adult or does the self resumes constellating from the early place as a child? Or does it mean just the compulsive behaviors changes but still an absence of self?

@samvaknin

3 жыл бұрын

Identity disturbance remains, but in half the cases, there is a substantial improvement in impulse control and abandonment anxiety.

@mohammedothman9833

3 жыл бұрын

@@samvaknin thank you for your response I have another question is there an evolutionary purpose for identity disturbance?

@samvaknin

3 жыл бұрын

Possibly in psychoticism which is linked to creativity. Watch my vids on these topics and on art.

@mohammedothman9833

3 жыл бұрын

@@samvaknin thank you.

Does the narcissist discard in effort to complete individuation? Can a narcissist use a intimate female friend to individuate from mother, although she is not his mother, and if so, would individuation be permanent? Can new relationship energy account for a feeling of individuation?

@samvaknin

3 жыл бұрын

No. The narcissist can never individuate.

@p.m.williams3142

Ай бұрын

​@@samvakninThen what's the point? Doesn't individuation = healing? So, the narcissist is incapable of healing?

Is it common or likely that a narcissist would be diagnosed as bipolar due to the self states?

How do you put the fragments back together to make a whole self? I have not been able to do that.

Repeation makes me crazy too. He always did it on purpose. I learned to understand it For what it was. To annoy me. I except it now (Lesson, learned . More patient now)

Are there people that do cold therapy in the United States?

@samvaknin

3 жыл бұрын

Only one. The pandemic interrupted the certification of many others.

It seems sometimes its healthy to NOT fulfill the need of a baby though...ex, when training a baby to fall asleep at night, if a parent respomds to every whim and cry of the baby, thr baby will never learn to fall asleep at night. By this theory, this this create a self state that fragments the main self in an unhealthy way?

@samvaknin

3 жыл бұрын

I am not talking about this kind of superficial, transient need.