I actually feel a little embarrassed that I've been watching videos from a man without any sex contracts.

@Krunschy

3 жыл бұрын

He could've had cybersex with you at any moment, it's truly a dangerous world out there.

@Lewlew97

3 жыл бұрын

It would've been really easy just to write "No" next to the sex.

@mangos1346

3 жыл бұрын

either you are having sex with all your friends, or you don't have friends!

@nate_d376

3 жыл бұрын

Talk about unprotected video viewing.....

@MADLAD_YouTube

3 жыл бұрын

@@Lewlew97 Sex No Contract

This feels like one of those weird dream scenarios that you get just before you wake up.

@thephoenixsystem6765

3 жыл бұрын

I get em just after. Good morning, btw

@aidenscrunch538

3 жыл бұрын

this feels like the one before kzread.info/dash/bejne/ZYllpbiviZjgdrg.html

@Daftanemone

3 жыл бұрын

Then you get to work and still feel off about it when coworkers ask what’s wrong you suddenly forget what the dream was about just that it bothered the hell out of you

@sjent

3 жыл бұрын

If only it was just a dream. We are living in culture where you may need to sign a contract to have sex, or you risk being accused of rape.

@xenophon86

3 жыл бұрын

@@sjent yes you are 100% correct and this is in no way hyperbole.

"We are at risk of having sex at *any* moment". Typical problems only Joel could have.

Joel’s whole fashion sense is “best dressed 3rd grader” and I live for it.

@satkahn8406

3 жыл бұрын

You killed me

@Crystal-58

2 жыл бұрын

read that as 3rd gender and thought it made perfect sense

@atlanteum

Жыл бұрын

Local Thrift Stores - "Ah, Mr. Haver... so good to see you again! We have quite an assortment set aside for you this week, sir!"

plaid shirt on plaid pants. A man of culture and confidence.

@SomethingCool51

3 жыл бұрын

My grandpa did that with argyle socks as well and called it the "full Cleveland"

@MrWizzleTeets

3 жыл бұрын

With mismatching patterns. That is a guy willing to defend himself.

@AfferbeckBeats

3 жыл бұрын

Good ol' Joel 'Platonic Plaid' Haver

@creativedesignation7880

2 жыл бұрын

With this combination, I am irritated as to why his friend thought there was still need for the contract.

@nineteenfortyeight6762

Жыл бұрын

Punx not dead

I wasn’t expecting the flannel shirt & shorts combo to be the most relatable part

@ItsMuadDib

3 жыл бұрын

I'm about to be that guy, but it's such a pet peeve of mine when people call plaid flannel. Flannel is just a material, plaid is the pattern. "Plaid on plaid" is what we call the top-bottom combo where I'm from, and it's highly illegal across the globe.

@NeurovisionGorn

3 жыл бұрын

@@ItsMuadDib You're doing god's work.

@GrishaGetos

3 жыл бұрын

I wasn't expecting simon to make the most relatable comment

@thegreenxeno9430

3 жыл бұрын

@@GrishaGetos I wasn't expecting Getos to have the most relatable reply.

@pillemcphilsen8529

3 жыл бұрын

This combo is already a no sex contract.

I love how proudly he reiterates “backal.”

@Dave_the_Dave

2 жыл бұрын

Just standard legalese

I'm still back at "... farm animals in the most profitable way you can imagine."

@ComedyBros5

3 жыл бұрын

Lol, that’s what I’m saying! What’s that even mean?!

@SplendidFellow

3 жыл бұрын

Sex with farm animals?

@InShortSight

3 жыл бұрын

Two words: foie gras

@krombopulos_michael

3 жыл бұрын

@@ComedyBros5 probably trading in farm animal futures 💹

@lain2970

3 жыл бұрын

@@krombopulos_michael farm animal cryptocurrency

When I heard "Florida" and "farm animals" spoken together I was worried this was going in a Joe Exotic direction. Thankfully it was just a normal, wholesome, legally binding anti-sex contract between friends.

@andrewjazdzyk1215

3 жыл бұрын

Idk. What is the MOST PROFITABLE farm animal stuff you can imagine?

@mitchell16

3 жыл бұрын

Or apparently just sex contract for short, because obviously it's implied that it's anti sex 🤣

@TasteTheRambo

3 жыл бұрын

I, too, was glad that there was no nudity in this video. Frontal or backal.

@matto4897

3 жыл бұрын

It's not an "anti sex contract". It's a "no sex contract". Duh

@lautreamontg

3 жыл бұрын

@@andrewjazdzyk1215 Operating an underground chicken fighting derby. Those guys rake in the dough.

Inaccurate, the friend wasn't late.

@thermophile2106

3 жыл бұрын

We don’t know that. Maybe he was supposed to arrive during the day.

@bigbaz4632

3 жыл бұрын

@@thermophile2106 This is true, but it is in the Brodex stated in rule 347, and I quote "You must make at least two remarks on how late a friend is". Now they either broke the rules of Brodex, or this rule was done off camera.

@Bluhbear

3 жыл бұрын

The friend arrives precisely when he means to.

@HalfbreedTrini

3 жыл бұрын

Inaccurate, the friend exists😀😀😩😩😩😩

As soon as Nick saw that all-plaid outfit he knew only the long arm of the law could make him resist Joel's raw animal magnetism.

@tommyverstraete5678

Жыл бұрын

🤣

@adanhendrixvideo727

Жыл бұрын

lmao

I enjoy the ominous implications of Nick's unspecified farm animal job.

@burnttoast111

3 жыл бұрын

He's a contractor who is paid not to have sex with farm animals. A contract with a single farm doesn't pay that much, but you can have a lot of contracts simultaneously.

@jenm1

2 жыл бұрын

It scares me if they've signed a (NO) SEX CONTRACT

You got some weird friends Joel. You know that?

@TaterPictures

3 жыл бұрын

I thought this was normal friend stuff.

@sweetpatate2729

3 жыл бұрын

@@TaterPictures No that's just weird ... Because they expect their friend to have sex with them at any moment, I'm not sure that's how friends work !

@BEPPEJHA

3 жыл бұрын

@@sweetpatate2729 when you dont see ppl for many years and then suddenly they invite you for dinner alone it s suspicious, dont you have a wife or husband? Do we need to be alone where are our other friends? Mmmmm keep that sex contract with you guys u never know

@Gragthor

3 жыл бұрын

I imagine that if you were to hang out with a friend you haven't seen in years that you would play "The Fighter" without context and ask "You know what anime this is from?" and have an hours long discussion about lost media.

@LidyaRach

3 жыл бұрын

I think i would have say that to my friend that be gone for awhile, for my own safety or just some curiosity 🤣

Nick is a weird one. I bet he doesn't even give his parents birthday tickles.

@bigflx2754

3 жыл бұрын

What? Everyone’s supposed to get birthday tickles

@raghavrana2434

2 жыл бұрын

@@bigflx2754 you're also a weird man, everyone does it

"Looks exchanged shall hereby be uncharged with tension or intimate emotion" The way Nicholas was looking at Joel while he was signing the contract...He had already violated it, hence his disappearance...must've felt so guilty

can't tell if this is a highly sophisticated social commentary or a dream he had once

*Forrest Gump voice* “Life is like a Joel Haver video... you never know what you’re gonna get.”

Usually there's some underlying criticism or satirical element to these videos but I'm stumped on this one.

@carsoneastman5709

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah I think it’s kinda playing in how some dudes are so “no homo” that it clearly comes from a place of deep insecurity. Like it definitely seems like he *didn’t* want him to sign the contract but hiding it under seemingly hetero motives of “bro this is to make sure we don’t kiss I swear”

@JoenutTheGreat

3 жыл бұрын

backal

@supera2960

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah first reply and also might be about like those people u havent talked to since kindergarten who are in MLMs trying to make u join their pyramid schemes or sell you weird stuff

@SuperAmericanism

3 жыл бұрын

@@carsoneastman5709 I feel like you're forcing that one a little.

@MyName-sx3mr

3 жыл бұрын

@@SuperAmericanism I'm kinda on board with what he said. He gave him the contract, but deep down he didn't want Joel to sign it, hence why he left and never came back. I think he was distraught at the fact Joel would say on a legally binding document "I will never, ever, under punishment of law, have sex with this man", it destroyed him.

KZread suggested your How Women Talk in Old Movies video to me about a week ago and I've been watching a bunch of your videos every day ever since. Every time I think I have a favorite, a new one takes its place. If someone told me today I could only watch one KZread channel for the rest of my life it would be yours Joel. Looking forward to watching all the ones I haven't seen yet. Thanks for bringing some much needed joy into my life. Hope you're enjoying your van travels!

@Joel-Haver

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for the kind words! Glad KZread recommended you my stuff! It’ll be great to have you around once we’re all limited to one channel. Here’s to you finding many more favorites :)

is this a commentary on how confronting unspoken romantic feelings in any way, even if the intention is to maintain a friendship, is ultimately doomed to destroy the friendship entirely, and friends with unrequited attraction between them can only remain friendly if they never, ever speak of it? that's how i choose to see this based on my own life experience

@SinnohStarly

3 жыл бұрын

I like this explanation

@Hydrogoniise

3 жыл бұрын

That's the vibe I was getting. Sort of a "Well I wasn't attracted to you anyways *blocked*" type deal

@vangoghsseveredear

3 жыл бұрын

Sadly too true

@TZerot0

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah, I agree with this reading.

@axelprino

3 жыл бұрын

Oh, I've been there

Boy, Joel has some cake.

@thegrimyeaper

3 жыл бұрын

That was a glass of water, not cake.

@alfiewalkermuir3902

3 жыл бұрын

I was about to say the same thing

@fv2977

3 жыл бұрын

With cake like that, I wouldn't last 15 years without a contract. It's impressive how long they didn't do it for.

@Cum505

3 жыл бұрын

I thought I was the only one impressed with those cake's.

@Christian-rn1ur

3 жыл бұрын

Aren't comments like that prohibited in the sex contract? You know, assuming you have one already and if you don't then you should. It's 2021, come on guy.

Frontal and backal? That is a pretty serious contract.

@falleneldor

3 жыл бұрын

I lost it at "backal". Thats the stupidistly funny word I've herd in a while.

@alexcrowley2635

3 жыл бұрын

@@falleneldor stupidal*

@paulk5670

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah. I mean frontal can be avoided easily enough, but how're you going to guarantee no backal? What if you end up going to the same gym by accident and want to shower and change? Not of all us are blessed enough to afford those fancy ones where each shower stall has a private changing area in front! So elitist! :p

@falleneldor

3 жыл бұрын

@@alexcrowley2635 good point. i stand corrected.🤣

@iceman00behave

3 жыл бұрын

@@alexcrowley2635 stupidumbly*

Joel i am so glad that at the end of your recent animation you told us to try out some new stuff and ive been checking out all your content now im loving it man

@Joel-Haver

3 жыл бұрын

Thanks for taking the time to check out the other stuff, that means a lot❤️

This is my favorite skit, I think about it too often. Thank You

Dude, your style is drip.

@AnthonySmith-sc4zs

3 жыл бұрын

Dude dat drip been done dropped

@shabazahmed

3 жыл бұрын

Is drip your style dude

@AfferbeckBeats

3 жыл бұрын

It's that 'old man golfing' but also 'little boys pyjamas' vibe

@vertyisprobablydead

2 жыл бұрын

What does "drip" mean. Tell me in white people language.

The way Nicholas was staring at Joel while he was signing the contract 😆.

@MGSVxBreakpoint

3 жыл бұрын

Find a guy -FFRIEND- who stares at you like that

@ashikjaman1940

Жыл бұрын

Well they were at risk of sex at any moment

This went a completely different way to what I thought it would

That ending, wasn't expecting the shock of a missed opportunity.

"You say it so plainly" Wait, doesn't everyone have a sex contract? I've signed plenty, that's why my friends don't call me.

Love how your printer was clearly running out of ink.

every movie made by this man is an absolute masterpiece and this document Joel made me sign will make sure that I let you know just how much I enjoyed this video as well as all of his other content

There are dark moments in which I forget that Joel has cake. It's nice to be remined.

I think he wanted you to tear it up, and take him right there. Oh, and some light farm play

@crissssseee

3 жыл бұрын

ikr

@hasanajami7653

3 жыл бұрын

that might actually be the plot twist since his friend stopped contacting him

@djunior874

3 жыл бұрын

@@hasanajami7653 It's not a plot twist, it's the point of the vid!

@jenm1

2 жыл бұрын

@@hasanajami7653 I thought that was the meme

He really didn’t want him to sign that contract…

@thephoenixsystem6765

3 жыл бұрын

Ohhhhhhh

@CcBloom777

3 жыл бұрын

OHHHHH

@nondescript4311

3 жыл бұрын

OHHHHHHHH

@cultofthevoid5677

3 жыл бұрын

That's why he blocked him. He was offended he signed it.

@lordadamson

3 жыл бұрын

OHHHHHHHHH

I'm loving that opening backal shot of the plaid shirt/shorts combo

This triggers my fight or flight response

Kind of expected the friend to try and sell him some scheme when he got out his paperwork

@timopper5488

3 жыл бұрын

And in a way, he did.

Sounds about right when i meet my school friends.

either most of Joel's friends have a really good acting talent, is actor themselves, or Joel is just REALLY good at directing.

another golden video, great job

Frontal and backal.....I'm so stealing that

@timopper5488

3 жыл бұрын

It’s written by a bonafide real lawyer.

I don’t think any of my old friends are doing well enough to be able to match their shirt and shorts. Joel’s doing pretty well for himself

@sammyttheg412

8 ай бұрын

Middleschool style, lmao

You always come up with some original sauce for us to dip in, my friend. Cheers to you and your amazing friends 🤙

Did you guys notice how the vertical stripes on the shirt aligned so beautifully with the ones on the shorts?! So satisfying. I'm going to sleep like a baby tonight. Thank you Joel.

Joel seems to really appreciate plaid pattern. Also I expected an MLM when he pulled out the binder EDIT: that pun is intended

@dominicduncan9895

3 жыл бұрын

after that you expected a different mlm

@gesugaoevilface7876

3 жыл бұрын

Weren't you shocked when this was an anti-mlm video. ("Mlm or Man love man" is a way of specifying the relationship you're currently in when you're bisexual)

@dominicduncan9895

3 жыл бұрын

its not anti mlm, and why the (parentheses)

@islamicdefender8100

3 жыл бұрын

I was expecting a Multi Level Marketing scheme as well.

@chrisholloway4724

3 жыл бұрын

That would have been so much more tense and uncomfortable than what we got.

This Friends reunion looks great

my favourite video of yours yet

this channel baffels me more with each new video

You made the right choice Joel. He looked ready to pounce.

The pride on his friends face as Joel reads the sex contract is priceless

The plaid shirt and shorts combination let’s us know that Joel is doing “pretty good”

This is so smart! Much love, keep it up.

Friendships are too complicated these days.

This is gonna be me in like 3-4 months. Can't wait.

@bhutwheyttherismor86

3 жыл бұрын

Oh god, oh no, oh geez now I'm worried.

@fv2977

3 жыл бұрын

It's fine, I'm sure they'll understand the contract.

Man I love this channel so much! Keep up the great content my dude!

"Heavy petting is discouraged" - but not ruled out altogether? Interesting.

I don’t suppose you have a copy of that document lying around for redistribution, do ya Joel?

3 жыл бұрын

I hope he has, would be funny finding stuff like that in the future and laughing together about the old times 😂

@ianmackenna8255

3 жыл бұрын

Would buy multiple t-shirts displaying said contract

the soundtracks in these videos always fit perfectly

I absolutely cannot get enough of these videos. Just tooo funny and you never know what to expect.

I like Joel's original concepts

Thanks for the upload. just laughed my ass off for a solid 4 mins

Love the matching outfit, Joel.

This is my first of many videos that I’ve watched by Joel.

This is the most relatable content i've ever seen online, I hate situation's like this and how often they seem to occur

3:50 lol Joel. Your twists get me every time... Or is that like an untwist? You're next level.

@ComedyBros5

3 жыл бұрын

Absolutely. Joel is just on another level!

I love Joel Haver and I don't care who knows it.

Joel, my guy. You now have to rename your couches and chairs to "cake stands" when you sit on them, you know, after seeing your backal area.

Captivating from start to finish

Hits home no one really cares or understands what field you go into after school... it's just 'more power to you'

@zacharycollett5456

3 жыл бұрын

"So what do you do now?" "Well, I-" "No way, that's awesome!"

@Daithi_mk

3 жыл бұрын

What you do doesn't define you

@thatbloodywattle

3 жыл бұрын

@@Daithi_mk Not entirely, but you devote nearly half of your waking life to 'what you do'. So it does help define you in a significant way.

Was really expecting it to be an MLM contract

This is the absolute /best/ short film yet from you! It caused a verifiable belly laugh which provoked a response from my wife. Keep up the good work my /not/ friend.

When someone who wanted to be more than friends sees if they ever had a shot

The only thing more impressive than Joel's improv and creating an animation style is how much plaid he has in his wardrobe (and how he just rocks it!).

4:01 you can see it here, the reasoning he actually wanted him to NOT sign the contract.

This is great. This is great. And that second shot!! Very aesthetically pleasing

Excellent. Good acting from both!

The first minute was giving off a feeling so familiar that forgotten memories started flooding my head. Damn you, Joel!

The act's up Joel, I'm reporting this video for full backal nudity

Why tf did it take me this long to find ur channel? Now I'm just running thru ur greatest hits

@one-seventh

2 жыл бұрын

Same here! Same here! Same here!

Great video dude. Love it.

damn adulting is getting harder these days. thanks for shedding light to these things to those who are just getting into the age range

@camelopardalis84

3 жыл бұрын

I'm 36 and have never heard about a "Sex Contract" that's actually a "No Sex Contract".

this was a bit strange, thank you

You deserve each and everyone of your patrons plaid man

3:31 "I got my keys in my pocket. I'm ready to go right now... unless you sign the contract." Considering he left five minutes _after_ Joel signed the contract _and_ blocked his number, "I'm ready to go right now" might mean something else lol.

@winteringgoose

2 жыл бұрын

"Are those keys in your pocket, or are you ready to go right now?"

@northusauser

Жыл бұрын

Good catch lol

I love this skit, the camera quality and angles and everything just looked so sick!! I’ve recently been binging skits on this channel and the quality has definitely improved. Keep up the great work, Joel and friends!! :))

Looking forward to the alternative ending: He refuses to sign and they pork.

Another great video my dude

Why are you the best Joel. Seriously. Best dry content I've ever seen

i can never know how these short films are going to end

He has a whole playlist worth of awkward reunions.

Joel's videos always go in a completely unexpected direction and I love them all so much! 😂

I freaking love these original ideas, man. It's refreshing to watch some funny content that's not a clone of something else.

Okay check this out I'm really pleased with myself for this one: Old MacDonald had a form

@SplendidFellow

3 жыл бұрын

E I E I NO

@mark9294

3 жыл бұрын

This is GOOD

@frostfang1

3 жыл бұрын

And oscar was his nam-o

You can get implants to fill in those missing teeth. I’m not hating really.. I had 2 broken front teeth and I know what it’s like. It’s life changing to get them fixed.

@execthegaming

3 жыл бұрын

Those were CG teeth. It's part of the character design.

Your friend is hilarious too!

This is instantly one of my favorites

13 years ago at an after graduation party. I wore plaid shorts with a plaid shirt. My friends told me to never do that again and I ended up taking off the plaid over shirt. Joel here has proven that it is a look and it's totally fine. I never should have caved to peer pressure.

@dark_sunset

Жыл бұрын

You should wear it now. Now is the time.

I was gonna say "from the first few seconds, this is so accurate", but then uhhh...

This is so new, Something I never seen before. Thanks Joel.

Idk how his videos are so relatable and make so much sense without actually making any sense 😂