It's amazing how you can articulate all of this. These are things I know, but could never actually explain to someone else.

@hgtudor-theultra

3 жыл бұрын

I am the Ultra and you are welcome.

@thebeelievers6503

3 жыл бұрын

@@hgtudor-theultra 😂

@Lyrielonwind

3 жыл бұрын

@@hgtudor-theultra How do you call the ones who kill their children in your classification sheet?

@chaitanya66

2 жыл бұрын

@Leah, how do you know these things ? Are you also an aware greater narcissist or a psychopath ? I'm just curious.

@nycstarport8542

2 жыл бұрын

@@chaitanya66 He is both. He has admitted it.

This is so validating. I was completely in a “shelf” dynamic. And I was demoted to the secondary source, and was gas lit to think I wasn’t.

@carolclowes2221

3 жыл бұрын

Same here First 9 months excellent Last 3 months I was demoted to a constant shelving dynamic So insulting Out now and good riddance

@lala4461

2 жыл бұрын

Same. I went from "beloved" wife of decades, to some weird texting side piece. So degrading to learn.

@wordgirl4894

2 жыл бұрын

Same. How in the hell does one actually find a man who is NOT a narcissist? I have always been told I’m quite attractive and do not remotely look my age, I’m educated and intelligent … and an empath … and attract them like maggots. I just want “normal,” relatively speaking. Someone I dated in high school came back in the pic after 30 years. I got rid of that shit fast. We have an “understanding” and just text occasionally. I made my empath ass quite clear with a screaming, face-to-face, spit flying message and got out really fast. It was fucking amazing, and he just stood there with his finger up his ass in shock. I was so on point, I ripped him to shreds. No contact for quite awhile. I have a long memory. He did not expect that reaction. However, just today, he commented again about his obsession with my very white, non-veneered teeth at 56. I take care of them. I bleach them with Crest strips. That’s what I tell him every time he asks. So I told him again, ironically I was on day 11 halfway done, for six months. He came out with “I’ve been using whitening blah, blah, blah, bleach.” Conversation ended right there. Thank you, HG. Have one more situation to contend with.

Ah, the joy of hearing HG say “booty call.” Great vid, as per usual. Thank you.

@candycanes7581

3 жыл бұрын

B W - I thought when he said “getting some dick” was great in one of the other videos

@estherrogers7533

3 жыл бұрын

🤣😂the craziness of this Yo....booty call...🤪finally.....😎... Thank-God for His Mercies that are new every morning- and He commands His steadfast love...His Son Shine is healing my 💔.....❤️........Thanks for this video-👊🏼

The narcissist tried to ask if we could be friends, after filing for a divorce. I’m grade a supply cream of the crop. I would never 👎🏾 that is so disrespectful and disillusionment . I’m so happy i have left that piece of crap for good.

@Escobaz96

3 жыл бұрын

Good job. Mine said we can still be friends when we separated smh. I'll grey rock till my divorce coming soon. Then I'll be a ghost!

@frosksdeadteeth5163

3 жыл бұрын

@@Escobaz96 my last partner was like "you're my best friend you'll always be besties" after he dumped me so he could sleep with other people. (At least he asked I guess - my ex h just cheated). Six months later "we agreed not to stay in touch with exes". He seems to want to make his partner insecure it's an ego boost. Not sure if he's a narc but I've felt relief since he dumped me so maybe.

@Lyrielonwind

3 жыл бұрын

Good job 👍

@Lyrielonwind

3 жыл бұрын

@@Escobaz96 Cool! Better be a ghost for the ghost than prey for predators 👍

@SindyJ37

3 жыл бұрын

Good for you!! Stay strong and take care of YOU!!!

This is why I'm single and a Lone wolf. Because this is how everyone acts. I don't have time plus I'm allergic to b.s.

@thelooplala

3 жыл бұрын

Same. I’m just so grateful that I am 💯 ok with being alone. Some people are always stepping into the same BS with different people because they need someone else to make them happy. Find happiness within and life will be good.

@farfetched9296

3 жыл бұрын

@@thelooplala PREACH my BEAUTIFUL SISTER. I'm tired of society and family telling us were less than a woman without a man or children. That isn't for everybody. And that's A-OK🙂 Seem like all a man can bring inti the relationship is DRAMA, BAGGAGE, AND MISERY. I've been the happiest I've ever been SINGLE & FREE🙂

@somethinggood9267

3 жыл бұрын

Babys shouldnt have to put up with such nonsense

@rachaelcourtney1980

3 жыл бұрын

Amen!!!!

@rachaelcourtney1980

3 жыл бұрын

And go around the mountain again

If they’re cheating on a spouse, you’re a secondary source and you’re probably dealing with a narcissist and you’re probably not the only person they’re cheating with! You’re probably one of many, so use your head before you sleep around, and especially make sure they’re not married !!

@Lyrielonwind

3 жыл бұрын

What if you don't give a s*it about him emotionally but it's your lawyer and you noticed it too late? Then, you're in deep s*it. Wolves don't eat wolves.

@91GT347

3 жыл бұрын

@@Lyrielonwind Get a new lawyer

@BR9900-w5l

3 жыл бұрын

Yep I found out he was actually married and using me on the side. Cut all ties and blocked and deleted him from my life.

@olderwiser1297

3 жыл бұрын

@@Lyrielonwind 9⁹⁹⁹⁹⁹⁹⁹⁹⁹⁹⁹9⁹⁹⁹⁹⁹9⁹⁹⁹⁹⁹⁹⁹9⁹9⁹⁹⁹⁹⁹⁹⁹⁹óhh

@olderwiser1297

3 жыл бұрын

Oohohohoohooooóooooooóoóoóoóoohhooooooóoooohooóóoooohoooooóoóoooh

Your videos are unique, accurate to the letter, and despite the horrors of narcissistic relationships…truly make me laugh out loud. Your naming and labelling of the exact things these people do, ie: secondary source shelf variety, behind the back of Walmart, hoover-trigger, the narcissism of the lesser or mid-range, indirect assertion of control by smearing the absent intimate partner secondary source. Your clinical tone is right on! These monsters are robots with specific and highly patterned attacks and methods. When studying my horrific experience,I found your approach bittersweetly hilarious on an absolutely hellish three years.

I was never a primary source to the most recent narcissist. I always knew that. I was his doll on a shelf for 3 years. I seem to be attracted to narcissists. I am an empath. I will never live with or be married to another narcissist. My heart can't take it.

Brilliant. Thanks for speaking to my exact situation. The narcs I’ve dealt with have hoovered up to a decade later.

@thebeelievers6503

3 жыл бұрын

😱

@__rm307

8 ай бұрын

You allowed yourself to get hovered and basically told them you still think of them 10yrs later by responding to them smh. This is why blocking is key. Don’t allow them access to you.

Perfect timing. Bumped into the x narc today (No idea what I was to him, didn't participate in his dirty games). Ignored him as usual since I left him without saying one word 2 years ago. No contact since. Blocked him, changed home, phone, car. Took him one year to find out where I am, as well my new phone numbers. Blocked him again and all calls from unknown and private numbers. All of that doesn't keep him away...guess he hates me to the core and wants to come back at me. Can't count the physical hoovers anymore. Never accepted one of them. Pretty ridiculous....

@thebeelievers6503

3 жыл бұрын

Well done. Huge kudos to you. You are a wonderful example to us. X

@Lyrielonwind

3 жыл бұрын

He's a psycho dog of war or a pitt-bull. They are f*cking boring for sure and insidious.

@empresstina876

3 жыл бұрын

Some narcs refuse to accept being discarded or ignored, they'll keep on trying hoping one day you'll respond so they can reel you in like a fish.🙄 They truly are some obsessed looney.

@JohnJohn-km6fs

3 жыл бұрын

You caused him nice narc wound by ignoring him when he "bumped" into you :-)

@bebe8842

2 жыл бұрын

He must be a really destroyed man if he was not capable to move on after 1 year of hoovering you. He must be so bad at starting from 0 again in his life. That's actually the biggest sign that shows what kind of man he was. Well done you did! I wished I was like you, brave enough to get out from the toxic environment and to stay away but when i did that it was too late, he abused me physically (wasn't first time anyway) so he left me with a fucking scar on my face .... my biggest regret in life that i didn't know earlier what kind of person he was To wish to have your earlier life back is one of the strangest, saddest feelings ever but i can take that life back, nor my face...

When I left my abuser after a year situation I detatched totally. Now I'm not getting rid of my Coach Bag (no way) but after 11 month of no contact I know I'm the Strong Empath I've always been I see him regularly as we live in the same Apt Complex, but he does no attempt to approach me he knows better !!!

@achirichello1208

2 жыл бұрын

Coach bag?

The mid range/lessers are so unaware, call it dopey, they don’t get it when we just fade out. It’s great. Just walk away.

These people are crazy.

@janec.kowalczyk5824

3 жыл бұрын

Unfortunately & sadly...Narcissist's are made➖not born. TRUST me...it's no excuse. And its not for her. It's more so that I don't live in bitterness and resentment forever. 🙏💖🌷

@musicseamus1231

3 жыл бұрын

Bat shit crazy people. Run for the hills when the penny drops 😉

@georginarheaume3980

3 жыл бұрын

@@janec.kowalczyk5824 No, some genetic inheritance is involved.

@Lyrielonwind

3 жыл бұрын

But they believe they are perfect 🙃

@Lyrielonwind

3 жыл бұрын

@@janec.kowalczyk5824 Most of them but there are still doubts about genetic; neither the experts agree about it. You can ask yourself another question: why some children of narcissists parents are empaths and others don't? Why they are not adaptive to early child mistreatment the same way?

I was a secondary source, he promised, week-end, trips and lots of BS,but I have no money or important friends, so he find another woman, thankfully for me🙏🙏he chose another victim but he want to stay friends...I has the support for the bad decisions, the optimistic the god heart always here! Since a year I'm healing and I finally in peace! Thanks for your video 🥰

Essentially, By blocking a narcissist you are leaving yourself open for the surprise Hoover at your front door without warning. Damnit. Like having freaking blinders on. While showering 🚿 knock, knock, knocking, opened the door... "AND THE DANCE CONTINUES"

@slestage5725

3 жыл бұрын

They don’t usually do this because they are so deeply afraid of everything and everyone. Once you get past the first six months of no contact, you will be much better prepared for anything he or she may implement.

@empresstina876

3 жыл бұрын

That happened to me. I did nc and just did not respond to text or calls ....left flowers at my door, 🥱nope still not interested then the calls begen to increase. The day I blocked his number, he called from different numbers and same day he was at my door knocking and I ignored that too. Obsessed losers.

Im in control now! And thats how its going to stay.

I received a couple of very weak hoovers, pathetic, almost. Other than that, I've been left alone. They were a lesser mid. I'm no longer worried about any hoover, they're a disgusting mess of a human being, and aging badly. I had a lucky escape!

Excellent, work, HG! Thanks for sharing your expert knowledge.

the appliance... precisely. In my case, I called his bluff of future faking leaving his wife and said that he should contact me when he leaves her. I then went no contact. I think he may reach out eventually, but fortunately, he knows there is no supply until he leaves his wife. There is no supply at all, but the future faking sped up the process and also, made hoovering next to impossible. Thank goodness for small favors.

Litterally JUST going NC with a person for whom I was a secondary source friend....NC or SuperNova 😁🌠

Well done H.G. I was waiting for you to do something on the Secondary Sources, Thank you. You are top notch!

Thanks, HG. This is great for me. I am finally disengaging from friends and family as I have spoken about before after decades of emotional abuse and now I recognize, being shelved.

Wow-this was so complete Helped me get-it When I texted (go forward in your destiny) I was very taken aback when he drove 375 miles to celebrate the holiday-and it started up again😳 it was very validating -or was it.........................de-validating...... many more-push/pull... 🚪 New Doors to open Now...I choose Life...⏳ You gave me a real understanding to not go by (highly emotional 🤔 💭 (think ink)-it will only darken my 🖤heart-then (🛐 it’s a shelter-to come under-your videos) Grateful.......❣️

Thank you HG for the help and education that you provide us with! 👍

If this is all true, what a relief!

How exact this description is and I just happen to be dealing with it right now! I've been ignoring him for 4 weeks now! I was giving him little breadcrumbs just like him! We've been separated for over a yr. I kicked him out last Thanksgiving night 2019! Almost 21 yr. living with a Covert Narcissist ! I'm enjoying this he deserves it! I don't care anymore , I'm over it! I'm talking to someone I just met, I am excited to go on this date! Great Video!☝💫🌕💜😉

I am a dirty little secret, unwillingly promoted to secondary source of the shelf variety, because I am the mother of his only son. And recently blew up his fuel matrix by brutal honesty with the primary source. These videos are so informative 👏. I have had my eyes opened, and been given a very precise vocabulary to express and understand what has been happening. Working on no contact co parenting. Thank you. "I have drunk deep at the well of Tudor".

Thanks, HG. I needed this one.

Yes typo. Just block them on everything. THE END

Great video, HG ! Thank you. All your videos are great. Grace to your videos I manage to understand the dynamic of my relationships over the years. I am a super-empath that met very early a vicious narc that did a huge number on me that changed me completely. I developed huge narc traits that I employed when my radar was allerting me that I have narcs in my life. I swam with the sharks all my life discarding them when things were too painful. All this game left me thinking that is something wrong with me. Now I understood exactly what went on. I am more selective now. Despite the fact that I manage to acquire the narc traits (as tools to swim with them) I will put those to rest and have only non-narcs in my life. I retire from being a narc swimming with narcs. Your videos were a great source of clarity for me. Thank you again HG! You're my hero.

@jazmynfranco6538

7 ай бұрын

You are one.

When you get demoted from (wife) IPPS to NIPSS and sometimes IPSS... 🤯🤬😭💔 Fuck this... 🕊

@monicadlynn

3 жыл бұрын

Same

@michelekisly2535

3 жыл бұрын

Not happening 😡🤮🙄

@niwreyentihw1496

3 жыл бұрын

Mine tried to do this to me. So guess what I did, let them have each other and moved on.

@fjdslkfjdsklfjdsklfj

3 жыл бұрын

Yes. The more I’m Listening to this, I’m thinking I was demoted and didn’t even realize it. This is horrible.

My ex, so addicted to her cell phone. Everything hidden deep in her phone. This relationship caused me great emotional damage.

I appreciate the advice on emotional thinking and GOSO. So helpful. Thank you

HG, thank you for great video. 👍

@hgtudor-theultra

3 жыл бұрын

You are welcome.

I would like to hear a video audio on the horrific abuse and why and of the cheating every single day lying every single day while swearing true love what is the point At the end isn't it nothingness?

If you are within a ten minute drive…it’s worth a physical Hoover in person. I laughed my head off! So so true!

"Life on the shelf" 😂😂

@beatrizmenendezblanco1869

3 жыл бұрын

0

@Lyrielonwind

3 жыл бұрын

In a closed jar or can is more uncomfortable 😁

@tessnolastname8141

2 жыл бұрын

Same

@nycstarport8542

2 жыл бұрын

No drama on the shelf!

This is true in what you are saying. I have experienced such a thing. Time doesn't remove the narcissist no matter how rigid the noncontact is. It becomes periodically whilst the rigity of noncontact gives you peace of mind.

At some point I’d love you to start a series about dealing with a narcissist in the workplace - as a colleague (other than quitting) or a manager (how to fire or minimize damage or better how to take advantage of skills)

@hgtudor-theultra

4 ай бұрын

Material already exists of this nature in “ How to Handle a Narcissist At Work” available in the Knowledge Vault.

@marniehall7419

4 ай бұрын

Thanks

Great Video!....please do more on secondary sources.

It is interesting to hear about the secondary sources in terms of the narcissist dynamic. Understandable of course they may decide it is time to get away from the narcissist. The only way is to implement no contact.

Drunk deep at the well of Tudor...LOL!

I went no contact with an ex friend/neighbour - who was verbally attacking my son through me, to devalue me. I knew that. I left the apartment, for my own reasons, and have gone nc, but my son is still there so I’ve warned him to block her also. 🤞 We both previously helped her so much! Saved her ass from being evicted through tribunals etc. then she turned on both of us picking and poking and devaluing. Bloody nightmare! Ending in a flurry of abusive texts then I blocked her but told her 30 seconds before I did it. It really got to me and I still worry, these people are monsters!

After listening to your work HG there is no doubt that the guy I have been seeing for the last two years is indeed a narcissist...Everything now adds up after listening to your work...I can’t believe what an idiot I’ve been....I just didn’t see it but now I do...I went total no contact yesterday and didn’t tip him off...I am well rid of this guy...

she's been coming to my job and leaving things in my car. Little by little. I was treated soooo badly that I'm heart broken 💔 I was physical and mentally abused for 2 1/2 years. I was discarded and left to rot. I now live in my truck. It's been 2wks. I decided to go NC by not being on social media at all. I know I was cheated on. She chose a guy over me to my face, called me an option, thrown in jail by false accusations. Since then I've been working on myself. Got a second job. I'm scared that she'll try to kill me. I haven't contacted her and I'm afraid of what her next move is

So valuable and insightful. Until now, i always thought i was the PRIMARY source lol...

It’s been confusing to me if I was a primary or secondary source because we spoke on the phone daily. However after 2 1/2 years (the final phone call before going full no-contact) I discovered that I was the “dirty little secret”... what was most difficult is I knew him (thought we were friends) for 6 years before we became sexually involved. I’d say intimate, it was for me, however he wasn’t “intimate” with me at all... i was like a real life blow-up doll to him. I think I just answered my question... in March on 2020 I moved and changed my phone number...

@SkyePhoenix

2 жыл бұрын

I've been a "real life blow up doll" as well! Why did I put up with this for 3 years?! I made excuses for him: "He has attachment issues" "He has health issues" "His ex wife hurt him and he's not over it" "He has a porn addiction" Blah, blah,blah... I did it to myself, but not anymore.

@vibra1562

2 жыл бұрын

@@SkyePhoenix 8 years for me...........

I am the rescue or savior empath, but after six months of NC, his antics have me on the super nova ready. It takes forever and endless selfish acts to set me off but when it finally clicks, thats it. Now its war.

This is awesome!!! 💥Thank you!💥

Perfect I wanted to hear about this

Is there such a thing as a "positive" smear, whereby they sing your praises & you hear about it later?? Your work is invaluable, HG. Thank you.

@somethinggood9267

3 жыл бұрын

That is a tactic to make themselves look good, so when they start bringing you down, if you say something to another person, they will say"but so and so speaks so highly of you! He told me you were so hardworking and good with thw kids, etc" This has happened to me.

I do admit to wondering if there has been any homicides caused by Narcissistic abuse. Surely.

@hgtudor-theultra

3 жыл бұрын

Yes.

@tarottimewithandie

3 жыл бұрын

Strangulation usually is used. Think Christopher Watts and his taking out his entire family for new primary source. He is covert and unconscious.

@user-sl6xl7zz6p

5 ай бұрын

Betty Broderick

I use to be a non intimate secondary source. On too many occasions throughout life. Not anymore. I understand fully. Thanks. I have fully blocked them.

@sarahjane8949

3 жыл бұрын

Did he put down the girlfriend to you ?

Drunk deep in the well of "Tudor" ......Love it !!!

@thebeelievers6503

3 жыл бұрын

Careful now. 😉

Thank you HG 🙏

So bloody true! Luv ya HG !!

Thank you for explaining this. Should have listened sooner haha, after I "used" him for something I needed, I ended up telling him, but I appealed to his ego, and told him I knew I was not good enough for him, and that I was hurt for him replacing me. So I asked him to delete me from his life, which seems like he did. And so did I. Deleted and blocked. So not expecting any hoovering any time soon. Hope it stays this way. As you say it's hard to resist.

Needed this.

Thank you hg dudor . Can you imagine i lived all my life surrounded with malignant narcs And god gave me the chance to wake up at age 61 ! Of course i blocked all these horrible creatures And build up my life now from the beginning The N.A. rooms are savingg my life daily from the destructive affects of living with these horrible creatures .

I winced my way through this one..twice

What An Eye Opener 🙏

Yes thank you ... I feel confident that the greater will leave me be ... what a relief... only a secondary non intimate source

I think I’m the secondary source & dirty little secret. The current narc SA’d me, I turned him in & now he hoovered me bc his brother died a few weeks ago. I honestly think he wants to try & sleep with me to prove to himself that he can get me consensually. That’s sick but that’s how I really feel.

Intentional torture. They get off on it.

This dudes voice crazy smooth

My Hod. Dpot on. How sickening. And as insane as this is. I am thankful for these videos.

Excellent series, and I may be late on my comment; but the one area not covered here is when the narc tells you that they have a new primary who is jealous of your texts and your narc states that the new primary source means far more to them than you do and therefore requests you cease all contact of any kind. In effect you are in no contact (for your own benefit long term), it is just that you did not initiate the no contact.

I’ve been seeing another narcissist since my discard with ex narc. I’ve been able to recognise I am a secondary source since watching your videos. I noticed his entitlement on the first time I met him haha. He has even had me drop him off to his home “area” but never his house. Tells me he lives with his brother and his wife, I know he has a dodgy job too of running the business of cam girls 😂

@thebeelievers6503

3 жыл бұрын

It's not funny though. 😞

Fabulous, its more popular in woman to look for that some addicts too. Love the series. To good for the public but it might wake some innocent eyes who need no lower hells to fall in, but raise up through the purgatory and pay consciously in the way to heaven. Metaphorically speaking, harmony and richness could be acquired from many, if aware.

Best thing that can happen is the Narc forgetting you! We should all be so lucky and blessed! Hallelujah

Break free and live free!

My husband’s dirty little secret for last two years is now out in the open! 32 years married and I thank the universe now for the young and dumb gold digger he has on the line. She knows he’s a liar, cheater, and cheated on her!!! But she’s still there, because I guess there’s nothing more appealing to a 36 year old single mother, than a married, 63 year old pancreatic cancer boyfriend that will never commit…match made in narc heaven

Thank you. Perfect

I was the secondary source 🥺

Exwife and daughter can also be considered as primary sources and the relationship is the secondary source!

@hdecker1000

3 жыл бұрын

Yes. Ex wife of 20 years ago still in the picture. Thought I was primary source for 9 months. Find out the ex is in the picture. Thought they were just in so much contact because of the kid. Silly me. I was the secondary source even though I met the kid went to the parents ex wife knew about me and dates no one. Waits around for the narcissist to have his dalliances.

@thebeelievers6503

3 жыл бұрын

@@hdecker1000 Crikey. How dreadful. 😢

The part you are missing by explaining this in the way that you do, is most SS’s or even IPPS, are actually seeking the Hoover. By telling them not to tip off the narcissist because it will trigger hoovering, that’s exactly what they are going to do. Once you’ve become a victim of this behavior, it becomes an addiction or like a toddler who wants any kind of attention from this person whether it be negative or positive. It doesn’t help with how an empath or CD can implement no contact without the emotional thinking. You cant just turn the emotional thinking off.

@Ikaros23

Жыл бұрын

It’s no different than any other addiction. The « narc addiction» is not « special». The secret is 1: to see the truth about they’re nature 2: Admit that one is addicted to the fictions the narcissist creates. And the dopamin from the lovebombing 3: See the reality of the « good times». That it was just short term gratification for most of the time. And the rest 80-98% of the time, was anxiety, suffering. 4: See the truth that the addiction gives no long term benefits at all. That it ruins the family, health, sanity,wealth, confidence, friendships of the victim. 5: That it is possible, and not hard to quit « narcissistic addiction». With the « no contact» pollicy. In the same way a alcoholic can never again have « just one drink». Don’t worry about the emotional thinking. Focus on seeing the truth, and the benifits of staying « narc free».

Trying to hold on to two at the same time is hard enough. It used to be different, throwing caution to the wind. They have so much stamina from being non-emotional.

I didn't realize I was a secondary!

I have learned through HG’s videos that I was his LDE, I initially thought I was primary source as I did meet him, his sons, and his mother - introduced as someone he planned to marry- but I was shelved frequently. Kept as DLS in regards to Social media... very confusing. Most recently shelved for four weeks, he attempted to Hoover me ( “ just want to make sure you’re okay) - he will remain blocked. I now wonder that I was always an intimate secondary source.

@littad7128

3 жыл бұрын

Don't think anymore about it. Get out there and be your best self and live your best life. Much love. 💗

@elenattube846

3 жыл бұрын

Can you tell me what LDE and DLS mean?

@hgtudor-theultra

3 жыл бұрын

Long Distance Empath. Dirty Little Secret.

@elenattube846

3 жыл бұрын

@@hgtudor-theultra Thank you...

@theveganvillainess2404

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah I was in the same situation in my last relationship, though it wasn't that long distance (only an hour away). He blocked me on social media and he kept saying he didn't want his crazy ex finding out about me, etc. He would then ignore me for days at a time, refuse to text back answer calls and then out of nowhere reply as if everything was just fine. His "ex" was his ipps and I was the DLS. Never believe the excuses, if they don't add you on social media or block you even though you are still dating, that's a red flag.

I dated a toxic narcassist for most of my 20s now that I have to scared him, I wound up meeting and falling for someone who I didn’t even realize was a different kind of one, nor that he was making me a secondary source. I have been eating away at myself trying to figure out the whole hot and cold dynamic or what I was doing wrong. He was a wolf in a completely different kind of clothing then the last one I dated. Thank you for showing me

@xiaomoogle

Жыл бұрын

I did this. Went from an explosive, emotionally abusive fucboi narc who would confess love and want to marry me when he wasn’t making me cry. Fell into the arms of someone who was a constant victim and convinced I was cheating on him and became very controlling and emotionally abusive very quickly. I realised I was dealing with another version of a narc and left within 6 weeks. He turned a friend into a flying monkey/lieutenant but I’m better off without her.

I did it and blocked him. He already had a better source so there was no attempt to contact afterwards.

It’s actually shocking that my narcissist continues this song and dance with me. I block, he Hoovers nonstop until he contacts me (usually by popping up at my house), I’ll play along for a few weeks, then ghost again and the cycle repeats. This has been going on for over a year.

I don't understand these secondary sources!!! My husband had some for years!! shelved then every time we broke up back they would come!!! for 30 years!! Do they have no life? No self esteem?? seriously he sucked in bed!!!

@Sarablueunicorn

2 жыл бұрын

Theories: 1:They didn't know he was married and even if they found out later they were already emotionally invested. 2: They were being financially helped or supported. 3: They have self esteem issues and seek avoidant partners (your theory). 4: He might suck in bed with you but be a delight to them. You were married to a man who had multiple affairs for multiple years so I guess you're no better than them

Thank you that's great...

HG again I find your videos incredibly fascinating you told you tell me exactly what I've been dealing with for 20 years but here's my big deal and I probly ask you this on another video is my narcissistic wife now to be X I have 4 children with her and so I can not escape her because of those kids and of course she has those kids that don't dark to me she doesn't realize because hes mid range or lessor may be but she has those kids had don't talk to me only my littlest keep daughter still comes over I know this is gonna sound badd but I wish I had never had children with her because I had no idea what kind of a tie and abusive scenario I was going to be with herShe randomly Texts or call about the kids and it drives me crazy And yes she has her new fuel source because she got him to buy a house they could live in

Thank you !

Goso period. That's the rules

HG, great names for your imaginary IPSSs Samantha and Jane

How to we navigate Friend of The Court systems of government when we are seeking financial help from the narcissist for our children. This violates no contact but what if you need financial support?

More words Mr tudor .. Dls's , diminution and ultras .

I was a secondary source of supply of the ex-narcissist, no affair involved or sexual intimacy. I have gone no contact for a year now. I have never broken it and yet the narcissist still calls at least twice a month. Even though they have been blocked they still call using that blocked number. Why do they keep calling knowing that I will not answer. What's really going on here? 🤔🤔🤔

But what happens if you do change your number, change city or state or country, change or discard your social media, ain't heard from mofos for months or years... but they hire a private investigator to find you? Like never fully leaving you alone and has other sources but will obsess over finding you again type of bs?

Curious - this narration do any V.O. Work on policy or biz management videos?

Thank you i was all three, and have other girls in meanwhile it was crazy and i go no contact forever

Been listening to you all night while I am feeding cats I feed 1000 cats . Every night

It’s been 22 months of total no contact. Can I relax?

@thebeelievers6503

3 жыл бұрын

No. One respondee to this video said that hers returned after 10 years! 😢

@JohnJohn-km6fs

3 жыл бұрын

No relax rest of your life :-)

@Andypandieful

3 жыл бұрын

No. You are always on the back shelf to dust off at their will. It is about them. Not you. You don’t matter. If they want you. They will dust you off and love bomb you. You are an object.. always.

No Hoover's . Blocked on social media. No apology. Its peaceful. But I wonder sometimes. Was I the gf secondary source.

I wish I would've just been a non intimate secondary source or even just a booty call. At least then I would have never seen the mask fall off and not been treated like sh*t. We could've just stayed in the friend zone. And I would have not lost so much by getting involved deeply with the narc.

HG what i have observed from your work not being crowned as a primary source is actually a compliment right? secondary sources actually have a chance to start their life and purge the narc.

@irenebuford8930

3 жыл бұрын

In my opinion not being a primary source makes it much easier to escape... For example, I never lived in the same home as my ex mid range narcissist, so my ongoing escape is much easier for me... I Thank God often that I never lived in the same residence as my ex narcissist...

@thebeelievers6503

3 жыл бұрын

@@irenebuford8930 Just imagine how difficult & desperate it is - in these Covid times - for those trapped in such a situation. 😢 I was lucky...I had a room with a very low rent & kept it on for the entire duration of the relationship (despite being encouraged by narc to move in early on in the liaison, I guess some wise thing within me knew I must not hand over that degree of power to him). It felt like a waste of money at the time but was worth every penny in the end!

I told him to his face I will never speak to him again 2 years ago and I have stuck to it and went no contact I have ignored hoover triggers as well he lodges with my neighbours he can rot there for all I care hopefully I won't hear from him again I put my self out reach