My wife saw I had a fidget in my hands while she was talking. She noticed that I was listening more intently and asked me it helped. I told her that it did. So far she has bought me 10 different types of them. God I love this woman. Lol

@HowtoADHD

2 жыл бұрын

THAT IS SO PRECIOUS! Awwwwwww, thank you so much for sharing! Sounds like a wonderful wife

@huskerfan0138

2 жыл бұрын

You're welcome. I love your videos. They have so much energy and very good information.

@HowtoADHD

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much!! We have an awesome creative team (and research team!) and they'll be so happy to know that their work is being appreciated so much. 🧡 I'll pass it on to them!

@mozaik-inc

2 жыл бұрын

This is the cutest and sweetest thing I’ve ever heard

@safichii

2 жыл бұрын

This is such a wholesome, adorable comment to read 👏👏👏👏💖

Look, I can make eye contact, *OR* I can give you my undivided attention. That's just the way it is. I can't make it different.

@HowtoADHD

2 жыл бұрын

Exactly! I'm the same way! - Harley

@elizabethjanetugby4695

2 жыл бұрын

I completely agree and to think I used to think that this was just Dyslexia!

@BrassicaRappa

2 жыл бұрын

@@HowtoADHD OH! A super secret behind the scenes person! Hello Harley! Thanks for whatever it is that you do! XD

@HowtoADHD

2 жыл бұрын

👀 A super secret person where?! /jk hehehe, hello @BrassicaRappa! And it's my pleasure! I'm the Community Manager for How to ADHD and help keep up (or rather, try to keep up!) with our KZread comments and also help with other aspects of our community. 😄 It's great to meet you! - Harley

@tclancy13

2 жыл бұрын

Totally. I'll be looking off somewhere and the other person will look wherever I'm looking and I have to tell them... "I'm not looking at anything, the only way I can listen to what you're saying, or concentrate on what I'm saying is by looking at something in the middle distance that doesn't make me think of something else."

I have found sweeping to be the best way for me to listen and process while my wife discusses things. Plus it gives me brownie points because she sees me accomplishing something helpful while listening.

@HowtoADHD

2 жыл бұрын

Ohhhhh that's awesome! Two birds, one stone-- or broom, in this case, lol

@johnpsaras2488

2 жыл бұрын

I found cleaning altogether to put me in a space where I can concentrate on the conversation or my own thoughts more clearly without being distracted.

@cobalius

2 жыл бұрын

Brownie points... Well that sounds awesome! Were you inspired by spongebob? Aren't you good with noodles?

@pouet4608

2 жыл бұрын

clever!

@jtmh31

2 жыл бұрын

Making it work for you. Good job, Master Failure.

My best friend and I have adhd, when he comes over to my house and we talk/ rant to each other, we keep moving around the kitchen, randomly grabbing drinks and sipping while talking and listening. It's a fidget we both have that we developed while growing up in neruotypical families, we'd always want to talk or interrupt so drinking something helps, and we'll pretend to be busy by randomly moving things around the kitchen so we can move while listening. Infodump lol

@kerry1158

2 жыл бұрын

OH! I do this too

@purple_demonyt1687

2 жыл бұрын

I do it too

@Vantorea

2 жыл бұрын

This is why I always, always have a cup of tea in my hands :D

@DiMakingiteveryday

2 жыл бұрын

My BFF also has ADHD like me. It definitely works

@sammae4254

Жыл бұрын

this is what me and my best friend do too

Please could you do a longer video with more relationship accommodations? I think it would really help me and my partner 🥹

@gaywalllbiter

2 жыл бұрын

^ came here to comment this! I would really love a whole video on adhd and relationships!

@viviennecarty2418

Жыл бұрын

Yes 🙏

Oooh could you expand more on this topic? My SO has ADHD and I'd love to learn more about this!

@HowtoADHD

2 жыл бұрын

I'll let the creative team know there is interest for expansion on this topic! 😀

@omaymaouarradi8615

2 жыл бұрын

@@HowtoADHD i would love that too! ☺️

@ecee5139

2 жыл бұрын

@@HowtoADHD yes please!

@GumballMachinery

2 жыл бұрын

@@HowtoADHD I agree! A full length video on this would be great!!

@ashley9639

2 жыл бұрын

@@HowtoADHD I would love that!! And I love your videos so much, you put a lot of effort to make them engaging, informative, and helpful ❤️

It's one of the first thing I've said to my gf. Like, I have ADHD and when she need to talk or vent or smh, i've told her before we get together about my condition and that, I WILL do something else while she talk, and I NEED to do it, and that i'm still listening and be able to answer her if needed !

@HowtoADHD

2 жыл бұрын

Way to go! That's some awesome communication! 😊

Can we discuss adhd and relationships? Like, falling in and out of love bc serotonin, oxytocin, and dopamine?

@NoeDactyl

2 жыл бұрын

Please!

@rickvanwieringen2436

2 жыл бұрын

You mean this? kzread.info/dash/bejne/ipatsJqLdazOfc4.html

@beepboop7090

2 жыл бұрын

I feel lucky to never have had that issue. If I am in love I don’t easily fall out of love. I hear a lot about that when talking about ADHD, I wonder what makes you more likely to have that issue. I have pretty severe ADHD so I would guess it’s not about that.

@Ginzy

2 жыл бұрын

Yes!

@gordon1201

2 жыл бұрын

Yes and potentially the link to FOMO

I used to do foot or neck/shoulder massages during vents if my partner wasn't in more of a ranting/pacing mood. I didn't realize it at the time (only recently diagnosed), but I guess in trying to do something to help them relax, I was also inadvertently or maybe instinctively giving myself a simple task to focus on.

@absurdistsloth

2 жыл бұрын

i never realised that's why I often massage my partner's hand or brush their arm when I'm listening! I've always enjoyed giving massages bc it's a very tactile way to spend time with someone you love

My partner is both light sensitive and easily distracted, so when we’re talking on something important while he’s tired, he often wears a sleepmask or really dark glasses. It really helps us both, and seeing how much easier it makes it for him to keep track of the conversation and to think about what he wants to say, makes it quite clear that we win so much more by him wearing the sleep mask than we lose in lost eye contact.

@HowtoADHD

2 жыл бұрын

That is so awesome! And that's such a brilliant way to handle that situation. 😊 Thank you so much for sharing!

Very good point. Not to be confused with healthy compromises in a relationship either. How would you separate the two? Or do you feel they're the same?

@HowtoADHD

2 жыл бұрын

For me, it's a bit of both. Sometimes a healthy compromise can result in finding an accommodation. And sometimes the accommodation is finding a healthy compromise. :) (Also hi again Aeon! 😊) - Harley

@KxNOxUTA

Жыл бұрын

Turns out that comprimise is an overall bad strategy for relationships in general. What we want is cooperation and to keep the compromises to an absolut minimum. Th difference being: when we cooperate we're both on bord on investing what it takes to make it work. When we compromise, then both of us dear with losing some. Huge difference in attitude and how it feels.

I just want to say that your content has helped my partner and I immensely. I’m 24 and I’ve struggled with ADHD and depression for years, and your videos have helped both me to learn ways to work with my disability and for my partner to understand my struggles and help me when I am struggling more than usual. Thank you so much for all of you and your teams hard work

could you do a video on adhd and menstrual cycles? this is something i think would be very interesting subject to go deeper into

You guys are having Relationships ???

@rivulet5417

2 жыл бұрын

No :(

@sandralujan1199

2 жыл бұрын

😹😹😹😹😹😹😹

@coregoon

2 жыл бұрын

Friend relationships? Sure. Romantic relationships? Uh... Dunno where to find those.

@DonaBologna

2 жыл бұрын

🤣🤣🤣

@DonaBologna

2 жыл бұрын

find someone else with adhd and you two can shitshow your way through life 🤣 I speak from experience lol!

Thank you for this but speaking of accomodations, could you please put captions in your videos?

@HowtoADHD

2 жыл бұрын

Yes! That's something we're working on in terms of trying to be more consistent with. It might take a second since we're a small but incredibly busy team but it's something we really wanna get better with. 🧡

@lilalo777

2 жыл бұрын

@@HowtoADHD Thank you I really appreciate it, keep doing what you're doing! ❤️

@sophieisabelle3762

2 жыл бұрын

Please, please prioritise this. Accessibility shouldn’t be something we treat as an added extra, it should be the first thing we consider. Your content is so good, and I’ve found it incredibly helpful both as a person with adhd and as a trainer/facilitator who talks about disability, inclusion, and access, but can’t really signpost to it because it’s just not accessible for a lot of the folks I work with. It’s worth thinking about it in this way - if I say something isn’t accessible to D/deaf and hard of hearing people, that will hit very differently to if I say it’s not *for* D/deaf and hoh people. But the latter is how many people experience lack of access.

@dawn8293

2 жыл бұрын

@lilalo777 I wrote you the transcript. Hope it helps! If you are a person with ADHD you've probably heard about accommodations in terms of school or work. To take it a bit further, what about in relationships? Dr. b (@theedoctorb) defines relationship accommodations as, "the reasonable adjustments we make to allow another person to meet our needs." For example, let's say your partner had a rough day at work and needs to vent. So an accommodation your partner might make for you is to hand you a fidget toy, or let you do something else while you listen. Just like there are expectations at school or work, there are expectations in relationships. Just like accommodations can help us meet those expectations at school or at work, accommodations can help us meet those expectations in our relationships.

@dawn8293

2 жыл бұрын

@How To ADHD the company called Rev can do your captioning for you in 24 hours. :) Perhaps that would take something off the plate of one of your lovely team members.

Love love love this clip!! I have ADHD and my partner has an anxiety disorder, one of the ways that our symptoms don't play nice is that he gets extremely anxious and stressed over being late, and I of course have time blindness, magical thinking & task avoidance which regularly lead to being late 😅 The accommodation we came up with for this is that if him and I are supposed to be somewhere, he has standing permission from me to white lie and say we have to leave by 3 or 3:30 when really it's 4 😂😌

One tip I’ve found that helps with friends is asking “are you asking for advice or do you just need someone to listen and validate your feelings?” This may feel weird, but sometimes we can miss social cues and it can lead to frustration for the friend.

I let my partner know that i might always need gentle reminders to get things done. Hes always been amazingly wonderful about it! My former partners, not so much. Lots of anger about unmet expectations when it comes to household chores.

I would LOVE if you can make a video on how adhd can affect relationships. Me and my partner struggle a lot with this because i have adhd, and working on relationships can be so hard. Id want to fix myself and id want to try and work on issues but my lack of motivation to do things wont let me get very far. I feel like a lot of the time my partner doesn't really understand my struggles especially since he's neurotypical. Idk if you'll even see my comment, but yeah :)

I find that I can remember more conversations from work because I’m always doing something while my coworkers talk. It makes sense now haha

This experience explains why I get panic attacks when ever I’m in love. I’m afraid of what the other person expects of me. And I feel like I’m stuck with this person for a life time. Where I endlessly disappoint them and they endlessly disappoint me 😖😭

@twiliteblue6053

17 күн бұрын

You wouldn't happen to have an INFJ personality type would you? :P

Married 32 years with Mr. ADHD. Our dishwasher recently broke and we’ve discovered that washing dishes by hand together is a brilliant way for us to talk. He gets to do thoughtless busywork of drying and putting away, which allows him to focus on what I’m saying. I only wish I had this knowledge when we were first married. Thank you for sharing on your channel. I’m grateful for you.

Why is my first reaction “ooh yes, I get a toy!” 🤣🤣🤣 the crazy part though is when they think we’re focusing on the toy and not listening but as I’m looking at the toy I’m actually paying more attention to you

Okay this is insanely serendipitous! I got diagnosed with ADHD (along with Bipolar 2 and CPTSD) at age 36 at the end of last year after struggling pretty much my entire life with certainly depression but unaware of the scope. I found your channel last year before I was diagnosed as my suspicions were growing that I have ADHD whilst simultaneously understanding my depression was becoming too big to manage on my own. I sought a therapist via referral from my primary to talk about my depression and see if I had ADHD. Fast forward a bit I have a series of diagnoses, two therapists, and I'm currently in the process of getting my prescriptions dialed in. Your channel has REALLY helped me and my partner figure myself out - helped her understand me more. Sincerely, thank you so much. The hilarity of coincidence comes in, in the fact that I've long been a streamer with a platform of mental health visibility who's run a charity event for the last couple years. This year I'm running it for Take This and Dr. B will be one of my featured guests! That's kinda cool. I love those little moments where you feel life just clicks like that. 😆

It occurs to me that my wife got frustrated with me fidgeting with something on my desk last night while we were having a serious conversation. It's not really a behavior I've been conscious of but the idea that it's worth having a conversation about it is a really good one. I feel like I'm always learning more about myself with your videos

@HowtoADHD

2 жыл бұрын

Awwwww, hope the conversation goes well! And we're happy to hear that you've found our content helpful in your ADHD journey. 🧡

@huskerfan0138

2 жыл бұрын

I'm glad you saw this video. I hope your wife understands how helpful it is to you to use something to help you focus.

Having a cup of tea together gives things for my hands to do to help me listen better.

If someone hands me a fidget, I'll say thanks then leave the room 😂

This is amazing. So helpful and freeing. Whether you intended to or not but I'm more accepting of my ADHD issues in relationships. The comparison with school/uni/work accommodations was extremely helpful. I don't feel as much shame now for doing something else while I'm actively listening. Thank you so much for this, I'm so glad I'm subscribed to your channel!

@HowtoADHD

2 жыл бұрын

We're so glad that you've been finding our content helpful while on your ADHD journey! 😊 We're glad to have you in our community! 🧡

@huskerfan0138

2 жыл бұрын

Great comment 😁

I have ADHD, my partner has SEVERE ADHD. It's really hard to be in a relationship with someone who's so frantic all the time and only pays attention to half of what they are told. I would love to know more.

I've never thought about it this way. My wife has always been very understanding, but I can also tell there are times when she gets a little frustrated because I appear to be distracted or uninterested in what she's saying when in reality fidgeting with something often helps me listen better. Thanks for explaining it so well and for being such a great advocate for all us Brains!

@HowtoADHD

2 жыл бұрын

Awwwww yeah I had a similar issue with my parents growing up (before I was diagnosed). I hope this short can help that fidgeting feel more normal for you

I accommodate people all the time. Their quarks and silly little whatevers. I dont think giving me grace and understanding my over stimulated ADHD brain is too much.

@HowtoADHD

2 жыл бұрын

I hope you get accommodated in return. 🧡

@Catlily5

2 жыл бұрын

Yes, everyone needs accommodations of some sort.

A number of years ago I did some online dating & after reading expectations there I don't think adhd relationship accommodations are at all unreasonable.

@zaizeleiful

2 жыл бұрын

What do you mean?

@alphafert608

2 жыл бұрын

@@zaizeleiful I mean most of the profiles had very high expectations to even drop a message. Some were extremely specific about age, height, weight, interests, income, education, rent/own property, eye/hair color & religion. Some even contradicted themselves, one that stuck with me was a Christian woman looking for a family man but went on to imply any guy that wants children was a pedo. My point is that if people can be impossibly specific about what they want needing to fiddle with something to pay attention isn't unreasonable. Healthy relationships are more about comprising than getting what you want.

I would love to see an expanded version of this that covers more angles. Ex: I have adhd, partner does not, but I'm the one who usually needs to vent. Unfortunately, my venting tends to stress her out causing her to be unable to listen for more than a second or two. There are far too many sides to my individual situation but I think it would be helpful to find ways to adjust not only for adhd, but with adhd in order to meet the relationship expectations of non-adhd hearts

@Jazzyjayyy

2 жыл бұрын

This 🙏🏽

We definitely allow each other accommodations subconsciously 😅 As for work, I was fired the day I asked for an accommodation. (Of course they claimed it was for a different reason)

@HowtoADHD

2 жыл бұрын

Ooof, yeah, that's such an unfortunately common story, I'm so sorry to hear that. But glad the subconscious accommodations are working in the relationship at least?? 😅

@HibiscusHigh

2 жыл бұрын

I’m so sorry tho hear this. Your experience is why I plan never to share this with my toxic boss.

Accommodations for relationships sounds so clinical tho

Very often when people are talking to me I won't be listening to what they're saying/I instantly forget what they said, but I will remember what they said verbatim later.

My wife always wondered how I was also so aware of conversations or whatever she was watching while I play video games.

I use to draw anything when I'm trying to focus. I would love to see a video about being tired. I work during the day and go to class at night, so when I'm there it's more difficult to focus, which is already difficult being ADHD person.

"If you don't know at any moment in time what is most important in life to your kids, wife, husband, parents, friends etc you are not doing you job" - A Blackstone

Having ADHD alone is hard, let alone in a relationship. But it's not impossible

My partner and I, we both have been diagnosed with ADHD as adults... We desperately need more examples of these! Please! Love your shorts!

I love all the supportive partners in here who are taking out the time out to understand their s/o a lil better makes my heart flutter🥺 ❤️

Hi I have recently been diagnosed with adhd I have struggled with mental illness or what I thought and what everyone told me it was . Diagnosed with major depressive disorder, anyway I have just discovered your channel and you are AWESOME I’ve learned so much already and by you explaining what is and how it affects people It has made me realise why I am like I am and why I’ve struggled with everything , thank you for what you are doing, I will be watching all of your videos as embark on this journey of learning more about myself, thank you

I never thought about using a fidget toy for long conversations.

I was fidgeting a lot while a friend was upset, which in turn upset them even more because it felt to them as if I was not listening on top of me not knowing how to explain why I have this urge. A few weeks later, I got my adhd diagnosis and now they encourage the fidgeting whenever I seem to space out more during stressful conversations!

I don't have ADHD (or so i am not diagnosed) but when I saw your TED talk, An ADHD Success Story (TEDxBratislava), I immediately subscribed to your channel after watching. Such an amazing and inspiring story. :)

Oh, girl, preach. I have the biggest hurt in my 28 year marriage because my husband refuses to believe I can't control some of my behaviors (like being distracted by the TV if it's on, or if a cat, or really any animal goes by when he's talking). I've had to learn to let his hurt be his hurt and had to yet adapt my behavior once again, but I do this for me so that I don't go into a shame spiral over hurting someone. I let him know I hear what he's saying and can understand how he could feel dismissed, etc. But I won't lie, it makes me so sad that he struggles to reciprocate when it comes to empathy and being accommodating.

Heartwarming behaviors.

I didn’t know this was part of ADHD. That explains why I struggled listening to people while I look at them.

I feel like life would be easier if my wife watched your videos as much as I do lol she’d be like “oooohhhhh, this makes total sense”

Great post…you are a treasure! 🙏🏼❤️🙌🏼

We need some sort of official relationship accomodations document to present to partners. It's easier to present the idea if it's in an official looking document. :-)

We talk on messenger instead of in person so he cn get out what he needs to say. N I cn then respond accordingly. It actually really works for us. He also sends me cat pics n videos of my cats that live w him to make sure I have a good day. If it's going well or not, him showing me how well he's taking care of my babies n how happy they r at daddies house always makes my day better. I breed n live in an apartment in a duplex. So we co parent my cats

My brother and I pace while we're talking to each other. Like, REALLY pace.

I remember hearing you say this a little while back, and this has so helped our relationship! One thing we do...my husband enjoys cooking way more than I do, and I get bored and go off and do something else while I'm waiting for food to cook, and forget I was cooking bc I'm sidetracked by something else.. So he started taking over more of the cooking. I love it! It has been a huge weight lifted.

I feel like, no matter how much I love someone, I cant give that person enough attention

Hi, greetings from Brazil. Thats a relief to find someone who has adhd talking about relationship, ive been searching for this a long time because i have a boyfriend who has adhd and Im not. I want understand more, comprehend him more.

Thank you it’s always super helpful to see this stuff and be able to encourage people with other neurotypes better have a great day

My bf no longer gets mildly upset when I begin looking elsewhere/fidgeting with something when he's venting. He just chuckles, exclaims "SQUIRREL!" in reference to my difficulties focusing and continues on because he knows I'm still listening. That makes me laugh too and overall lightens the mood

So helpful thank you

Never thought of this before. Good tip!

@HowtoADHD

2 жыл бұрын

Hope it helps!

More like this, please.

Would love a longer version of this video. Maybe you have one already. I’ll take a look

I was diagnosed with ADHD (and a few other things) around 33. So no wonder I was being told as a child stop interrupting. Then 10ish years later I was diagnosed with moderate PTSD. So I was born with what I told my Dr, the bonus package. About 4 diagnosis have some overlapping things, it's no wonder I've been so quick to react instead of respond. So frustrating.

Can you please do a video on 2 ppl with adhd in a relationship together? Thx

What I found works really well are ‘safe words’ (if there’s a better term for this let me know). My best friend and I have a whole bunch of them, most of them for me like I say ‘rainbow’ if I need to interrupt her to say something important because I’ll forget.

Love love love this!

I’ve sometimes asked my husband if it’s okay if I work on things while he’s talking to me, e.g., if he minds if I clean the counters or if he’s okay following me from room to room while I put things away. The answer is usually “yes,” and it lets me engage with the conversation better. He’s also learned that I frequently don’t tune in until halfway through a sentence if he calls my name. So either he waits, or I say something like, “sorry, I only heard [the last three words], can you repeat that?” It seems to be working!

im infatuated tbh you're great.

Haha, back when I lived at college I used to play video games while my roommate vented about whatever he wanted to. I let him know I really was listening and it went great.

@Catlily5

2 жыл бұрын

Were you really listening? No way I could.

@crazyspace6792

2 жыл бұрын

@@Catlily5 Oh yeah, full conversations. I was just on auto pilot.

@Catlily5

2 жыл бұрын

@@crazyspace6792 Wow, I am impressed! I am not that good at video games.

I love your videos!! 👏👏👏😃

I think it's time for a big video about what can help when BOTH spouses have ADHD!

not sure what change you made with your hair but YES!

THIS IS SO CRAZY USEFUL! THANKYOUUUU! deffo will do this in future ✨🌸✨

I think it really deserves mentioning that some responsibility needs to be maintained by the person with ADHD. Asking for accomodations and understanding is very reasonable, but care must be taken to keep it from getting unreasonable. My ex partner demanded accomodation at the cost of everyone else's comfort and it was so bad it was well beyond abuse.

Tell this to my ex girlfriends 😂

Never thought of this. My ex came off very needy to me cause he needed to vent everyday. It felt like forever. He said I only listened just enough and he didn't feel emotionally supported. I felt physically, mentally and emotionally drained

Wow I never thought of doing this 😍

Hi Jess, Your channel is what led me to seeking a diagnosis. They put me on a stimulant. I’m on Day 2 of the meds and I got the rebound effect, real bad. Could you please do a video on the rebound effect and how to counteract it?

hi, new to the team. 37 and diagnosed at 35 (was obvious as a kid but parents just treated it as bad kid). 8 years in army pounded some of the symptons out. now 9 years into emergency medical and lots came back and managing my brain is a chore. I go blank stare at my wife when she talk some times. wish i was able to remember and focus more when in conversations. i will try out the figet spinner.

If you don't have a fidget cube, you're doing it wrong haha

Just had a problem with this this morning.. my long term partner and I had a basic idea of going to breakfast then out to a place. But this morning he ate upstairs, came back to me getting ready, and didn't tell me the plan had changed. So I took my regular meds thinking we'd be getting breakfast but ended up nauseous on the drive. Then didn't get to eat until we were done at lunch. Basically, he completely disregarded that I go by the initial plans and need to know what's changed so I can adapt. I REALLY don't like changing plans, but honestly I think this situation would have been inconvenient for nt people too.

That was a very neat definition. Thanks for teaching :-)

I do this in my marriage, but never thought of it as me doing something to meet his needs. I want him to be able to vent. For one I wanna know what's going on in his world, but I also know how much an overwhelming mental load can effect a person and know he won't really vent elsewhere. So it is helping him, I see that noe, I just didn't see it that way before.

I have adhd, my partner has asd. He knows I need to play a card game on my phone (or do literally anything else) when he’s talking otherwise I will shut down with how long it takes him to process things on low functioning days.

I tried ignoring the fact that j have adhd, but come to realize how much it's actually affecting my life, my marraige and just my every day living in general. I exploded the other day and just cried my eyes out, everything just feels so much. I refuse to take adhd medications due to the side effects in the long run. Just wished people without adhd could see the struggles that us people with adhd have to face every single day.

My spouse and I both have anxiety and ADHD, so when I need to pace to fidget/anxiolyse, they need it not to be back and forth to keep from anxiogenerating, so I get on the hide-away elliptical or start doing squats. Two-sided relationship accomodations!

So I bought myself an aromatherapy putty recently. I went through a very stressful day at work yesterday and while I was on hold during a business call I noticed I had started fidgeting with a pen. I got out my putty and spent over an hour with it while dealing with the situation and consequent phone calls after the situation. I noticed the more stressed I got, the more I fidgeted, but also, I was able to better pay attention to the conversations being had. I will most likely be using that quite regularly now. My bf likes to infodump when when he gets home from his living history reenactments or archaeology volunteer days. I might need to start making sure it's handy to help myself be able to listen better. He has recently brought up that he feels I show no interest when he tells me those things.

I love your videos, much appreciated. And you're so pretty ❤️

I was undiagnosed for 25 years. I've always always worn bobbles, jewelry and as I've gotten older, had plenty of piercings. They've always allowed me to fidget in non-invasive ways that doesn't tend to bother people too much. 😊

At 62 and after a number of relationships and a 20 year marriage that ended 3 years ago, I have found peace only in being self partnered.

Whoa 🤯 I never thought of this… what a great idea.

My husband and I both have ADHD, so, it’s always a work in progress.😂

This is cool for people who _already have_ a relationship. There's apparently fewer tips and tricks for people trying to get to that point in the first place.

My husband knows that the more "um"s he hears in a sentence, the more important the thing is and if I hit 4 UMs, it is very important, so he will stop what he is doing and patiently wait for me to get the whole sentence out. He also lets me vent when I need to. He does the tasks that I agonize over or avoid.

My wife and I just talked about this last night in our preventative couples therapy session (every 2 months)!

Me and 2 of my best friends all have adhd and we all find ourselves interrupting each other’s conversations with a completely different topic to what we were talking about in the first place. Haha anyone else do this?

When I'm out driving with my wife, if one of us is trying to tell her something, I go on autopilot. I'll typically focus on the conversation and continue driving safely, just not where I intended. My wife's discovered that just letting me go until the important bits of the conversation are done and then asking "where are we going?" afterwards lets me tune in completely to the talk, and then we just turn around and head to where we'd intended in the first place.

I would love to learn more about this. I’ve always had issues retaining or even hearing information when I have to just stare at someone and listen. I have a lot of trouble listening to my partner when he is talking about work or something in-depth. It’s not that I don’t want to hear what he’s saying, I literally CANT. I’m gonna try the fidget thing, for sure. I feel awful for not being able to actively listen and pay attention to someone who would (and does) do anything for me. Thank you for this 💜

@HowtoADHD

2 жыл бұрын

Hope the fidget thing helps! Meanwhile I shall let the creative team know there is interest for an expansion on this video. 😄

@TheDutchessOfCornville

2 жыл бұрын

@@HowtoADHD You’re the best! Thank you so much 💕

My partner is an elementary school teacher. The perfect partner who understands me. 🤗