I'm a late ID'd PDA adult, and this all really speaks to me. I grew up in a household that was naturally 'low-demand' and one of the most profound aspects of learning about myself now is this immense gratitude at the way my parents did things. The empathy and respect my parents showed me, even when I was that 3 year old having the popsicle meltdown, probably saved my life.

I can’t thank you both enough for having this conversation. I carry so much guilt, and fear of judgment on how I parent my pda son, it feels amazing to be validated. ❤

Amazing podcast on PDA. My son is 4 and undiagnosed PDA but I have all the difficulties with him that you talk about. I have been on a journey for past couple months since discovering PDA to help gain as much knowledge as possible in order to support him but also to be able to get him assessed. I’m in Northern Ireland where we really have to fight for assessments as our health care system paid for by government is under so much strain financially and the ever growing number of children with autism needing assessment and a care plan. I Thankyou for these videos it is helping me so much as a mother but also my partner resists about him having a neurodivergent brain which results in a “label” it can be very stressful dealing with that too and teaching him how we should be dealing with our sons daily struggles. ♥️

I appreciate this so much!! I had so much the same experience. The shutting down is so devastating. (Stop eating talking playing dancing! No smiles) then I stopped forcing anything after two weeks she finally started to play again. I’m just starting my pda research. It’s been such a struggle with teachers and therapist.

This was a beautiful and honest conversation.

23:23 “In a season of higher support needs”. I love how this is stated. This is where we are at the moment.

@joygwin6673

8 ай бұрын

I think many Reactive Attachment Disorder diagnosis might be PDA instead if knowing about PDA

Thank you for tis video, I bought the book low demand parenting. I discovered that My daughter fits in this profile, she is 17 and recently diagnosed ass. It gave her a lot of problems to function in the world, although I respect her autonomy. In the Netherlands there is now 1 diagnose for autisme named ASS. But within this spectrum there are a lot of differences, means different ways of helping these kids. I am spreading the word in different groups to let people know about PDA, there are so many kids struggling, not knowing about PDA. Thanks for the information, greetings from the Netherlands ❤️

Thank you. This is becoming such an emotional issue for me. I wish there was more help. We have to change everything and I don’t have any “tools” you have given me a place to really start. ❤

@neurodiverging

9 ай бұрын

I'm so glad this episode helped you :) Always feel free to get in touch with me or Amanda if you need more support. Amanda has a book out now called Low Demand Parenting that's very good!

@joygwin6673

8 ай бұрын

I just found PDA but the United Kingdom has more stuff..

I relate to this conversation so much. I have three autistic children and the youngest has suspected PDA. Thank you for sharing this interview, I feel so seen and finally relate to another parent❤

Thankyou so much for sharing this so freely. It’s tremendously valuable.

Seeing your child is beautiful ❤ I relate so much to what is being shared

excellent in every way..

I remember a health visitor de said my son is very controlling 🙄

Thank you❤

wondering about screen time limits during the nighttime?

Is there a resource for a parent with PDA dealing with. Child who also has PDA?

17m 35s 100% my child is 2 and she has been different sense 2 weeks old hardest thing we've ever done

@rabbitcreative

2 ай бұрын

17:35 and you get a clickable link.

hey nice sharing

I think that my eight year-old granddaughter has undiagnosed autism and PDA my son and daughter-in-law are trying to use authoritarian type discipline, and it is just destroying their family life. I wish I could find a way to tell them about PDA without offending them. Any suggestions?

@rabbitcreative

2 ай бұрын

Tell them. Child's health is at stake.

@jacksonmulvey123

2 ай бұрын

I had a little success with sending a you tube clip of a children’s book about pda Called Pretty Darn Awesome. To a family member who is authoritarian

@phoenixgillis3587

10 күн бұрын

Focus on anything they're doing more collaboratively, and admire it out loud, maybe? Point out any good effects of that? I also wonder if there was a time in your son's childhood where you used a more low demand approach that he might remember as helpful... and phrasing it as something like, "I can tell you're working really hard to parent your kids right, and it seems like it's all still really hard.... and I got thinking about that time when you were little....(story goes here)... I'm not sure exactly why that worked for you, do you remember?" If he can articulate it, he might start thinking about how he's parenting, and what his kid might need?

Have you or Amanda read the book Dibs?

@neurodiverging

8 ай бұрын

I haven't! Does it cover this topic?

How can I make this work when someone’s autonomy is infringing on other people’s boundaries? For example, one person chooses to eat yogurt on the couch, but has a hard time doing it without spilling some (which means someone else has to clean it, or the dairy will go sour and cause a horrible stink)

@iiiiiiiv

5 ай бұрын

How about something like "yes, you can eat on the couch but let's put a washable blanket on the couch first" In other words: try to find solutions that preserve their autonomy while also honoring your boundaries.

@winterroses2020

5 ай бұрын

@@iiiiiiiv I like that idea. I’m concerned about what happens when someone is not available to troubleshoot or may need cooperation from the child for the troubleshooting challenges. For example, if dinner will be burned if the adult walks away from it and uses your suggestion and says that we need a washable blanket, the child may need to help and go get the washable blanket. My other concern is if this may be reinforcing for the child an expectation that when they are adults, that other adults will be expected to go get them washable blankets (metaphorically speaking) and may ironically become very demanding, themselves, while being demand-avoidant. I don’t mean to be argumentative. I genuinely am working through cognitive dissonance to try to feel confident and competent about this mindset. I appreciate the input and ideas.

@iiiiiiiv

5 ай бұрын

@@winterroses2020 My own personal experience trying out some of this approach with my kid is that actually the opposite is true. So, for example, when he wanted to have his dinner in bed, I said something like "but I don't want the bed to get dirty, how can we make sure it stays clean?" And he suggested putting a towel in bed, which I agreed with, so he then went and brought the towel to bed himself. Kids are really creative and proactive coming up with solutions if you give them the chance, and they're more likely to follow through on them because they're their own solutions, not something imposed on them. And it also teaches them to advocate for their own needs and boundaries, while respecting other people's needs as well.

@lanni8224

4 ай бұрын

Great question! I could not articulate that question as well as you❤ good luck!

Was your husband onboard to this different way of hands off parenting? How many hrs per day do your children stay on screens now? Do you not limit their choices if they are harmful? Children don’t know many things when young?

It sounds Iike an abusive marriage.