Community, clarity, and transformation for neurodivergent adults.
Neurodiverging Coaching is an online, sliding scale coaching practice owned by autistic neurodiversity coach Danielle Sullivan. Our organization’s larger mission is to help neurodivergent folks find the resources we need to live better lives as individuals, and to further disability awareness and social justice efforts to improve all of our lives as part of the larger world community. We support strength-based assessment and skill-building, social and disability justice paradigms, and a commitment to taking care of one another.
Learn more at Neurodiverging.com. Or join us on Patreon for even more goodies! patreon.com/neurodiverging
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I love the cat ears at the bottom of the screen. 🐈⬛
Typing the link in didn't work. After finding the website & poking around I finally found the page (it definitely took me longer than I'd like to admit! 😅) Idk if yt will remove this link, but I'm going to try commenting it for others as a reply to this comment! 😁
I'm all singed up! Just thought I'd mention, I've got a problem with Zoom. It's just got the same feel as the despised phone calls to me, but with a pinch of the instability of the days of covid sprinkled in...... I absolutely hate it, frankly!! I'll try to use this opportunity to do something challenging to 'exercise' my feelings/emotions as one exercises their muscles, but I might have to go with the replay route for my sanity!
Hi Emily, sorry you had trouble with the link! It looks okay on our end so I'm not sure what happened, but I'm glad you persevered! Please feel free to go the replay route if it's easier, no worries at all. Many folks do that anyway so they can adjust the speed of the recording or pace while they listen or whatever, it's all good. - Danielle
@@neurodiverging Thanks, D! Looking forward to it either way. My daughter starts back in public school that day after a year in a hybrid charter school & mmmuuuccchhh debate about going homeschool this year, sooooo I think your event will massively help me with accepting a life change that I am not happy about... feels like it's perfectly timed, tysm!
@@EmilyFPC We just talked about back to school in our parenting group this month! It can be so hard. Hang in there!
I wish I had seen your video earlier. I self-identified as autistic early 2024. I am 64. I had an hour-long interview and handed in a bunch of forms I had to fill out. I also included typed responses of my own to the questionnaires. This week I am supposed to finally get my evaluation report form. I am anxious!
Thank you so much for sharing this ❣️ As someone who has Autism, ADHD also as well as PMDD (yet to get a formal diagnosis), can any of you lovely ladies suggest any supplements or treatment here? Thanks in advance! Keep speaking out 🗣️ we are all warriors for what we go through each month. 💪🏼
I've recently found out I have ADHD (As an adult) and I've found that this series has been so eye opening for me as I take this journey into understanding myself. Thank and bless you for all your hard work you've shared with us!!!!!!!!🥰
What do you think of "assume positive intent" as a recommendation for a neurotypical mindset shift?
I didn't know about this! I've actually been getting heat rash for the past couple summers and had no idea why. Thanks for the info!
2X
ADHD is a recognized disability and protected
In terms of making your home environment easier on your cognitive and emotional load, you might find some of these suggestions useful in how to set up the home environment to be ADHD-friendly and way less dependent on memory and number of steps for tasks. Can be helpful for adults and kids. From an amazing channel called How To ADHD. kzread.info/dash/bejne/n6ik3NOpj9Xdhto.html
They seem to know quite a lot about neurodiversity, yet at the same time not too much with how often they find new things.
“High functioning” was originally used in research papers to just mean autism with regular language and cognitive abilities.
😮 for me it is often 0.5xspeed, because they speak very quickly
Thank you
I really struggle with this. It’s the most disabling part
Been thinking about this today. I agree so much,. Great insights.
Then there are those of us with both Autism and Combined ADHD who it effects even more
Oh yeah. Transitioning. Interruptions. Yep.
I haven't finished listening and I will. I appreciate your interest and for the however, you don't mention or see how people with mental health issues.. be ADHD, Autism, OCD, and more, are STILL stigmatized. I've suffered for decades with ADHD. And the whole horrifying medical institutions have not come far at all! Our whole homeless population is a huge example of a stigmitized group of people. And you did not mention that people STILL no able to seek help if they don't have money, support or both. I saw the movie pride and prejudice recently and many of the actors are depicted as ADHD etc. Mr Darcy probably has autism, high-functioning. And Lydia..ADHD OCD, and so many more. I believe most people with alcoholism have ADHD, OCD.
Hi Diane, this episode specifically only covers up to 1800, on purpose. We have lots of other episodes on the continues stigmatization of neurodiversity in the current world.
Is this perseverating the same as ocd or pure O ?
Similar but I guess the difference is in the intention or functionality of the perseverance. For me- autistic- is like my brain has to process every single thing, obviously this, isn't always possible. So it's like "computer says no" over and over and over! Going over and over and over conversations and other things that aren't clear. For me, trains and engineering in general becomes something I hyperfocus on because it gives me the end product, it alleviates the anxiety associated with uncertainty, the process is complete and doesn't cause the eternal looping of incomplete information. My understanding is that OCD has a "if I do this thing, nothing bad will happen" mindset. Whereas for me, its just that my brain wants a conclusion and conclusions bring me peace
Does anyone know how to change the playback speed on KZread shorts? That would really help.
I really with KZread would add this too! I don't know of a way to do it now.
It sounds like you have found a way to notice if you're dismissing (as "just tired") a physiological or emotional state that may need some analysis. Thanks for sharing that tip. It's possible that these states are *also* making you tired or increasing fatigue. This happens to me, anyway. Best wishes to you, and thanks for your videos.
I have the opposite, pretty much complete aphantasia. I can at least have tinny audio in my head at a quality nobody would ever pay for, but visual aphantasia, pretty much absolutely total, and to a large degree, my other senses aren't something I can imagine, either. Figured that out last year, after unintentionally grossing out a coworker who doesn't have aphantasia.... 😅😅😅 I can easily win gross-out contests where it's just descriptions, a blind date biology student challenged me to one at a formal dance/dinner 🤣🤣🤣
I've caught a few of your podcasts (they're all great!) and your intro music makes my brain so happy. 🥰 Do you have a link to it so I can look for a longer version of the song?
Absolutely! www.neurodiverging.com/podcast-index/
@@neurodiverging I didn't see the track there, but I thanks to your link I found it here, too: "Pure Water" by Meydän kzread.info/dash/bejne/qq6gmqOGl7ufY5s.html
I'm one of those older ones with the obsolete label, diagnosed in 2002 at 31, unexpectedly. In practice, "support level 1" is, at times, an aspirational thing depending on the person. There are too many variants for saying all with that previous term are support level 1, and that's not even taking into account the factors of how stressed someone is, which I've observed results in increasing support level needs, which hopefully will go back down once the reason for the stress is resolved. Me? I'm without any form of mental illness, and frankly, I don't believe mental illness should be lumped in with neurodivergency along with autism, etc., as that clouds things into the wildness that happens inside tornadoes and nobody can make sense of what happens. Given that, I'm neurodivergent 7 different ways as I understand the definition, and several of those regularly disable me from certain expected levels of function, others, not so problematic. But for me, failure isn't an option with my list of disabilities of their various issues and strengths, they're a standard part of my daily life since I was born. I'm as successful as I am both because and in spite of them, and I feel that constant failure on a daily basis because of them has helped me be far more resilient as a result, because I figured out extremely young that if everything goes perfectly, I should be concerned that I'm dreaming (not daydreaming, aphantasia makes that impossible) and something is about to go wrong 😂! Part of my reason for despising mental illnesses as part of the larger neurodivergence group is that it waters things down into being so vague as to having no practical value. Having been in special education where those with behavioral problems were put into the same classes as those they're most likely to cause problems for, it's just bonkers. No amount of psychological/psychiatric therapy could ever help my disabilities, I was born wired that way. No drugs can "fix" them, either. The one thing I do have where drugs can help is ADHD, but even that has limits, and it's not outside of the realm of probability that due to health issues and neurology/physiology, there's no feasible drug options for that for me, as my neurology is wild enough that I tend to have the atypical results to drugs of many types.
I haven't given this as much consideration as you evidently have, and while it's a cute word it never caught on for me personally anyway, but yeah. something to consider for sure. Tell you what though, lately I have come across takes ostensibly from the left to the effect that the whole idea of neurodivergence is bunk and ableist. Well, they present it as a critique of over-diagnosis, or over self-diagnosis, but if it's not thinly disguising a wish to dismiss lower support needs neurodivergence as being a thing, it's certainly resonating with those who would like to do so. And again, it positions "real" disabled people and their care givers against those who are just "awkward" or "want to be special."
It really just creates more confusion when using this term. I’m definitely not for made up words, and prefer using accurate descriptors of things.
Thanks for speaking about this i feel the same
Yes, this. I am surviving and make sure my children survives too. I must prioritize home and fsmily, which means I don't have more energy left for work and therefor depented on my husband and my mother. I am functioning, but not high function. It can all seem well for a while and then boom I go back to "lazy"/"selfish" me again and the hate is strong. It is hard to get understanding when it sits in your brain. And I don't want to scare people away. It is so hard living.
Thank you for tis video, I bought the book low demand parenting. I discovered that My daughter fits in this profile, she is 17 and recently diagnosed ass. It gave her a lot of problems to function in the world, although I respect her autonomy. In the Netherlands there is now 1 diagnose for autisme named ASS. But within this spectrum there are a lot of differences, means different ways of helping these kids. I am spreading the word in different groups to let people know about PDA, there are so many kids struggling, not knowing about PDA. Thanks for the information, greetings from the Netherlands ❤️
This explains problems I've had so well, it was always hard to explain to friends why I have issues starting tasks that I ACTUALLY enjoy, like reading
I don't know if this makes sense but is it possible to experience both? In one side of my life I feel overstimulated and in another I'm not getting what I want out of life
This is amazing!! Love the reference to the article
Thank you! I was wondering if there is someone neurodivergent who experiences this like me
Very relatable on all levels. Prob need to put a mirena back in.
Man, the intro music you use so stimmy.
I can’t thank you both enough for having this conversation. I carry so much guilt, and fear of judgment on how I parent my pda son, it feels amazing to be validated. ❤
❤ thank you. This is validating and soothing. Needed it today 😢
3. 14:15 I have checked out the books by Rachel Bedard, and they seem to be about children and youths. I believe you are referring to our book Spectrum Women: Walking to the Beat of Autism (JKP, 2018) with many voices including mine. The medical commentary was provided by Dr. Michelle Garnett, not Bedard.
I was actually referring to the book, "A Spectrum of Solutions for Clients with Autism," edited by Drs Rachel Bedard and Lorna Hecker. Spectrum Women is also an excellent book and one of my top 3 favorites though!
I have no diagnosis, but I got a robot cleaner. I can set it to when I left, or I can let it vacuum, when I am out. Only works when u put up small things before, but helped me SOOOOO much, got a relatively cheap one and am so glad! Hope this can help. (Btw. I think he will remember u for the unvacuumed floors and to me that is beautiful for real, because they have a distinct thing to remember you by)
Thank you so much for this! I really think this is such an important reminder how necessary it is to look for the similarities, not the differences. The similarities are what unite any diverse community. The differences are the catalysts which keep us well researched and humbled.
I thought you were different until I went to website.
I stopped the video and discontinued watching when I kept hearing "people" who menstruate. It's *women* and women only.
There are nonbinary and transpeople with uteruses who menstruate.
Stay ignorant, then
@@M1NDCR4WL3R those women who label themselves as non-binary and trans, are still women. Biological sex is what makes us male or female, and is upheld by the law. How a person feels about themselves, does not change the facts of who they are are biologically. I respect that some people feel differently to their biological sex, but that biological sex is still the reality of who that person is. A person who fights against their biological sex, is not likely to find the peace and contentment they are looking for.
Haterrrrr
@@blade797 agreed!!
What is PDA?
Pathologival Demand Avoidance, it is when any request is perceived as abuse.
@ranc1977 I asked because I relate to this very much. I hate when friends give me unsolicited advices, even when they casually tell me: it's late you should go to sleep. Then I would not be able to sleep, because I hate to be told. In my case I think that is because my mom was always deciding for me and telling what to do. And now even when I'm almost 40 I still hate those situations.
@@olgakultik This is also called RSD. Rejection sensitivity Dysphoria. Personally, I am more interested in Rational Demand avoidance - when we avoid something toxic - and what to do when we have no other resources. Like living in toxic country, mobbing, abusive shame culture country filled with exploitation.
@@ranc1977 Abuse?! I think you mean every request is seen as a demand
@@jclyntoledo I think you mix up Rational Demand Avoidance: Reluctance to engage with things that will harm me, that will cause sensory overload Pathological one is when person is fearing that the request is part of exploitation and abuse, Mate crime.
Wear ear plugs to vacuum, or earphones with music or white noise or water sounds instead, after making sure you are safe by locking the whole place up so you don't need to worry.
Is there a resource for a parent with PDA dealing with. Child who also has PDA?
I appreciate this so much!! I had so much the same experience. The shutting down is so devastating. (Stop eating talking playing dancing! No smiles) then I stopped forcing anything after two weeks she finally started to play again. I’m just starting my pda research. It’s been such a struggle with teachers and therapist.
I hope you find the help you need.
Thank you❤
Thank you 😊