Me talking to plastic: what does it feel like to be plastic The Kardashians: stop bothering us

@uwnoodle

4 жыл бұрын

LOL

@Styxintheriver

4 жыл бұрын

DAMMIT I was too late for the joke

@MichaelRoma91

3 жыл бұрын

😂fuck

@grimgrom3355

3 жыл бұрын

Damn makes ya think

@johannesviljoen9656

3 жыл бұрын

10/10 good meme

Everytime you sneeze you can see yourself in third person

@wolfegeist7808

3 жыл бұрын

You toggle from 1st and 3nd person every time you sneeze

@Mikeological

3 жыл бұрын

@@wolfegeist7808 but it has to be a genuine sneeze, not a forced/fake one

@wolfegeist7808

3 жыл бұрын

@@Mikeological that’s the evilest thing I can imagine

@epicjew3260

3 жыл бұрын

Guess ive got a shitty superpower

@tyroidcrei4918

3 жыл бұрын

bam, you sneeze and see an assassin about to strike. You ninja your way out.

The reason soothouse stopped uploading is because their cleaning business took off.

@LittleIcarus

3 жыл бұрын

They all turned into fucking geese

@KrNatiButDead

3 жыл бұрын

@@LittleIcarus wilbur is the only one who has not turned into a goose

@alecchristiaen4856

3 жыл бұрын

tbf Soothouse legit sounds like a cleaning business

@1FenFen1

3 жыл бұрын

@@KrNatiButDead he's the one who turn them to geese.

@frogdrewathing8095

3 жыл бұрын

@@1FenFen1 o h n o

How about this one: Whenever you get into a fight, you both get one random superpower from this subreddit.

@Dinoman972

3 жыл бұрын

Do you get to keep the superpower after the fight?

@adammullarkey4996

3 жыл бұрын

@@Dinoman972 No, because then, after 100 fights, you'd have 100 useless superpowers, which is just stupid. Let's say, it lasts until the fight ends, at which point the superpower stops working and you are stuck in whatever state you find yourself at that moment. For instance, if the superpower was flight (obviously not a shitty superpower, but for the purpose of explanation), you instantly lose the ability to fly, and fall to the ground.

@patrickanderson62

3 жыл бұрын

Imagine just in some random argument you get the ability to become a goose

@adammullarkey4996

3 жыл бұрын

@@everettlee4831 Only by trying it. You know how to use it, but not what it will do. If it's a one-shot thing, like permanently turning into a goose, that's it: you're a goose now. If it's a multiple-use thing, then you can continue using it, and, obviously, you now know what it is.

@letmetakeajormungandrattha8591

3 жыл бұрын

YES

You can fly, just a centimeter above the ground. Only solid ground, can’t walk on water.

@subsume7904

5 жыл бұрын

That would be pretty sweet tbh

@spencerthestupidsamurai7326

5 жыл бұрын

You could get a job navigating minefields.

@markkealy4417

5 жыл бұрын

no fall damage

@IHateSmilingFriendsTheTVShow

5 жыл бұрын

Could be a sick party trick

@iejiuuug68k

5 жыл бұрын

Well you wouldn't trip anymore

every time you say yee the person physically closest to you HAS TO SAY haw

@shanechenmusic1804

4 жыл бұрын

wyatt smithee perfect. You can find who is closest to you, even when they are hiding.

@impulsewraith3419

4 жыл бұрын

@@shanechenmusic1804 so burglars can now now if someone is hiding inside the house they are burglaring

@shanechenmusic1804

4 жыл бұрын

@@impulsewraith3419 If you are lost, you can just keep yelling yee and eventually you will hear someone yell back haw after walking around a bit.

@shanechenmusic1804

4 жыл бұрын

@@impulsewraith3419 You can check if someone is pretending to be dead by yelling yee at them

@impulsewraith3419

4 жыл бұрын

@@shanechenmusic1804 ikr

Start a farmers market selling eggs for insanely high prices that people can't decline

@ZhadTheRad

4 жыл бұрын

But that's not a shitty power for you

@zljmbo

3 жыл бұрын

You would basically have the power of the Invisible Hand

@microTrash28

3 жыл бұрын

@@ZhadTheRad He’s talking about the egg power in the video.

@garlicbreadstick404

3 жыл бұрын

**HowToBasic intensifies*

@NAME-yg8sl

3 жыл бұрын

That's a great power! I could start an egg empire!

You can summon a 40 year old alabamian man named Steven who can only talk about crabsticks and his tractor named bertha

@hossdelgado626

3 жыл бұрын

Does he have the ability to summon Bertha? If so, hell yeah

@ngislaboratories997

2 жыл бұрын

YOOOOOO SICK DOE

@Lucifersfursona

2 жыл бұрын

Pls like Steven isn’t the best stand I could ever ask for

@hossdelgado626

2 жыл бұрын

@@Lucifersfursona He'd be useful as hell during harvest season

@Cardinalt

2 жыл бұрын

Now that is a useful stand.

You physically cannot say "Tuesday" on a tuesday

@Jabberwoot

5 жыл бұрын

Instead you say "it was the heat of the moment"

@Subscribetomynewchannel

5 жыл бұрын

@@Jabberwoot I hate that I understand this.

@tuser8

5 жыл бұрын

I already have a variation of this.

@GemA2Gen

4 жыл бұрын

-Hey what day is it today? -It's TueUHH

@anemoia3154

4 жыл бұрын

mumflr fumperdink “what day is it?” *”MONDAY 2”*

You will always know the location of a certain grain of sand of your choice

@stefan6347

5 жыл бұрын

You can use this to find the location of someone at all times by just puting a grain of sand in their car or jacket, so it's not that useless

@sarahd3422

5 жыл бұрын

Stephan Stefanus oh wow I did not think that that would be very useful. That’s cool!

@theguythatasked6400

5 жыл бұрын

Attach the sand to their goose button, so you always know where they are, unless their goose button is pressed.

@HamsterPants522

5 жыл бұрын

@@andershwang2376 bruh if you showed up to the pentagon with a provable superpower then they'd fucking kidnap your ass and run experiments on you in secret.

@captainrelyk

5 жыл бұрын

are you a wings of fire fan and is your profile pic a sandwing?

The goose one could be summed up as, “Once you go quack, you never go back”

@ngislaboratories997

2 жыл бұрын

LMAOOO YEAHHHG

when you eat a cantelope, 10% of the time it tastes vaguely like a carrot

@hossdelgado626

3 жыл бұрын

Truly a wonderous 'super' power

@mo0k452

3 жыл бұрын

What the fuck is a “cantalope”

@Carrot.Canvas

3 жыл бұрын

@@mo0k452 a melon that can’t

@marsmurderer9868

2 жыл бұрын

@@Carrot.Canvas cant alope?

@lilr6199

2 жыл бұрын

​@Red Cyndaquil strong enough that you can taste it through the cantelope

If you stare into someone's eyes long enough, you will give them a light headache.

@aidanmuller3358

4 жыл бұрын

*insert Harry Potter joke*

@pencilgaming1233

3 жыл бұрын

I don't need to stare at them to give them a headache 😎

@patrickanderson62

3 жыл бұрын

I want this

@1FenFen1

3 жыл бұрын

I already get a light headache when people look at me

@patrickanderson62

3 жыл бұрын

@@1FenFen1 Vengance

You have the same powers as Shazam, but you have to yell the n-word in public to activate it

@beefyblom

5 жыл бұрын

No spy, don't do it!

@lordwunglerbeckett

5 жыл бұрын

*Gentlemen, I've come to say the N-word*

@aconfusedmistake5251

5 жыл бұрын

Who the fuck cares? All they know is that some weird man said it.

@The-kr9rb

5 жыл бұрын

Ah ha i have the n word pass

@islamic_sonic_4323

5 жыл бұрын

Wait, you guys get shazams powers when you say nigga In public? How come I dont?

"Me kids hav' died" - Heinz Ketchup Bottle

@oQuip

3 жыл бұрын

ah, never mind. all is meaningless when hav' goose button.

@turkia6148

3 жыл бұрын

Gos botun

@lacane5722

3 жыл бұрын

What's up checkmark

@Gooomsire

2 жыл бұрын

This is the last place I expected to see you.

@geomandd1109

2 жыл бұрын

Checkmark funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HahababhahbhhHahhhahahahaahahahhaahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahhahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone in the Soothouse pressed their goose buttons and that's why the channel ended _Only Wilbur is left_

@zaneo2037

2 жыл бұрын

What about Charlie

@finlandfromtheswedishempir78

2 жыл бұрын

@@zaneo2037 His last vid was 1 year ago

@zaneo2037

2 жыл бұрын

@@finlandfromtheswedishempir78 o h

@synexiasaturnds727yearsago7

2 жыл бұрын

@@finlandfromtheswedishempir78 fuck

@veryoriginalname2515

2 жыл бұрын

@@synexiasaturnds727yearsago7 well hes back nlw, if im true with the assumption that this charlie is slimecicle charlie

You can throw a boomerang in a perfectly straight line. On the other hand, you can throw any object, and make it fly like a boomerang, as long as you are willing to throw it full force.

@thehiddenninja3428

4 жыл бұрын

That's an amazing power! Everyone would _love_ to have their own Mjolnir

@justcallmesteve9123

4 жыл бұрын

@@thehiddenninja3428 would you throw a hammer full force and catch it?

@purplefirefox2462

4 жыл бұрын

You could do what captain America does with his shield and how it always comes back some how!

@huskyzz0744

4 жыл бұрын

Imagine just picking up a shoe and just YEETING the bitch and have it come back, awesome parting trick

@XalconKugelBlitz

4 жыл бұрын

Throwing away depression at full force, only to get it back at full force.

When you come back from catholic school but you turned into a goose

@francissoto3027

5 жыл бұрын

Oof

@ahumanbeing8240

5 жыл бұрын

Oh no

@TheDarkestStar1

5 жыл бұрын

Good lord....

@crazycupcakes9549

4 жыл бұрын

Oh.... I get it..... Oh.....

@jimmyjohnjoejr

4 жыл бұрын

That's how untitled goose game begins

“Half of us stay here drinking shitloads of water and half of us go to Peru and become window cleaners.” What a fucking sentence.

@shakazar1815

2 жыл бұрын

This is why they stopped uploading

“If you offer someone an egg they will accept it irregardless of current events or their personality” Me who is allergic to eggs *nervous sweating*

@payne267

3 жыл бұрын

"would you like a nice egg in these trying times" danny devito

@ramen_kirby

3 жыл бұрын

Sure thing *oh no*

@masterboa6321

3 жыл бұрын

can i offer you an egg in this trying time

@andrewfortmusic

2 жыл бұрын

Well thankfully the word “irregardless” is a double negative so you don’t have to worry

@Infinity-bd2zr

2 жыл бұрын

@@andrewfortmusic I thought this too, only to find out that it’s grammatically correct and has the same meaning as “regardless”. Look it up… It annoys me very much.

*"you can unpee"* Does that mean my pee re-enters? That sounds incredibly painful......

@CrashfHackergames

5 жыл бұрын

Nah, those time where you are so satisfied and relaxed that you are peeing so you think "holy shit, wish I could pee this pee again". It's actualy a dream come true.

@comradethegreat3599

5 жыл бұрын

@@CrashfHackergames Then that's not unpee, that's repee.

@CrashfHackergames

5 жыл бұрын

But if I unpee won't I be able to repee ?

@thisguy5494

5 жыл бұрын

and super cold

@theronsteers8679

5 жыл бұрын

sounds hot

Then untitled goose game comes out and makes this a reality.

@copernicusepoch7574

4 жыл бұрын

What copy of the game have you been playing?

@legendarydragon7097

4 жыл бұрын

DragoStormGames the one on the switch? Where you play as a goose?

@copernicusepoch7574

4 жыл бұрын

@@legendarydragon7097 I was making a joke, because the power is that you can become a goose, but *only once.*

@legendarydragon7097

4 жыл бұрын

DragoStormGames it was but you can’t turn back

@Primal_aspid.

4 жыл бұрын

the internet pressed the goose button

whenever you say the word "goose button" a random person will start hearing the home depot theme song at 100 decibels

@audiodood

2 жыл бұрын

ahhhhh not again

@darthmauve

2 жыл бұрын

goose button

@williamgreenhalgh4260

2 жыл бұрын

But “goose button” isn’t one word tho

@dr.markus-level3researcher

2 жыл бұрын

O H N O

@herrdohfii103

Жыл бұрын

like a random human on planet earth, or further than that? cant you just say goose button 8 billion times, so that everyones eardrumms pop?

I had this conversation with someone on a bus once, and their idea for the shittiest superpower was ‘the ability to always know where to use the semi-colon’

@helmetongrass1893

11 ай бұрын

My brain came up with: everytime you ejaculate, your dick fires armour piercing rounds for two seconds Now you're a ladykiller... Literally

@clyde-or-monty

10 ай бұрын

honeztly id take it

If a person rejects you, they will turn into a leather bound book.

@fernbreeze723

5 жыл бұрын

What do the books say? Can they still talk but by putting words onto the pages?

@thr2648

4 жыл бұрын

Respond pls

@tidepodpadthai2633

4 жыл бұрын

That sounds fine to me "So what's with all these leather books in your drawer?" "um-"

@bbgsean6133

4 жыл бұрын

I'm taking them

@blankname3816

4 жыл бұрын

Heavens door

Shoutout to the guy who's number one in the Global Masturbation Leaderboard. We salute you.

@RNeeko

5 жыл бұрын

This leaderboard is bullshit! Those who've lived for longer have an unfair advantage and the new ones wouldn't have a chance to ever catch up until they're old men and the people on the top of the leaderboard have died! I suggest we use a monthly counter that keeps track of the top x amount of masturbators each month and gives you a score based on your position on the leaderboard at the end of the year which is then used to crown someone as the masturbator of the year. We'll have to make it fair and have duration play a big role as well, not just amount, but masterbating after you're already done masterbating also takes some willpower, so we can't just base it off of game time alone. A nice balance will have to be met. We'll be able to test this during the open early access phase.

@kathaai

5 жыл бұрын

its a girl and its me

@Trisaaru

5 жыл бұрын

Random nerd I guess

@correctopinionguy72

5 жыл бұрын

Haven't fapped for over 200+ days so what does that make me?

@manlikemars2929

5 жыл бұрын

@@correctopinionguy72 A Fornite player

whenever something mildly embarrassing happens you immediately turn into a rock until everyone who saw leaves.

@hyrulefunk

2 жыл бұрын

This is a god tier superpower

@synexiasaturnds727yearsago7

2 жыл бұрын

Perma-rock

@tales527

2 жыл бұрын

I'd just forever be a rock

Here are some I have thought of: You can turn water room temperature. You can change purple colored things into indigo colored things. You can stare straight at the sun for 3 seconds longer than other people. You know the exact hex code color of an object when you look at it. Once a day, for 5 minutes, you can transform into a goose. When you hand paper to someone, they automatically get a paper cut.

@Vicioussnakeboy

3 жыл бұрын

*ah yes, my watch will be indigo and ill be a goose for 5 minutes at school even in a lesson and I turn water room temperature once every day*

@catboysephiroth560

3 жыл бұрын

As an artist I would KILL to automatically know the hex code of a color. That one's way too useful.

@OrigamiAhsoka

3 жыл бұрын

The hex code would actually be so freaking nice lmao

@starboundsingularity

3 жыл бұрын

i NEED the hex code one....

@JamesFreedmanIsVeryCool

3 жыл бұрын

the water one isnt bad for baking

SootHouse Window Cleaning™ "We take the Soot off your House"

@xendral6329

5 жыл бұрын

Drink wayer while cleaning windows

1:00 The lore for Untitled Goose Game we didn't know we needed at first.

@mustlovedonuts9233

4 жыл бұрын

Hopefully we'll get a prequel game of pressing the goose button

@thelameys9232

3 жыл бұрын

Noone knew it, but the goose was John all along. He had an extreme love of bells, and one day his goose button got pressed on accident, and this is his way of trying to let everyone know. Noone pays him any mind except being a nuisance, so he is stuck getting the bell, over and over again, waiting for someone to make the connection to his dissapearance.

@featherycoffee1401

3 жыл бұрын

Fancy, seeing you here, BDG Stan who commented "Ben Shapiro using mayonnaise as toothpaste is so accurate." on Cer Spence' latest video

@sprucesoultree3833

3 жыл бұрын

@@featherycoffee1401 Ah, hello.

@lisaferrin5578

2 жыл бұрын

What's your relationship with your father like

Because I can’t keep track of them for some reason: 🤍Wilbur 💙Charlie 💚David ❤️Dan 💜George 💛Jack 🧡Matt

@yellobanana6456

2 жыл бұрын

undertal

@Zerocarknowledge

2 жыл бұрын

@@yellobanana6456 undertal

@Skywarslord

2 жыл бұрын

@@Zerocarknowledge undertal

@MucaOmor

Жыл бұрын

@@Skywarslord sans undertal

Whenever you speak to a police officer you will create one random drug in your pocket

@DioBrando-nb7yz

3 жыл бұрын

Sounds dope tbh

@somedummyonyoutube3362

3 жыл бұрын

could be paracetemol, LSD or viagra

@charKT-7461

3 жыл бұрын

Does literally any drug count? Because dopamine is a drug.

@breadlord6698

3 жыл бұрын

What if you don't have pockets?

@Jorpda

3 жыл бұрын

@@breadlord6698 it just spawns next to you

The closest Asian person to you is outlined, which you can see, even through walls.

@terriersturf4734

5 жыл бұрын

What happens if you're asian though

@DevTook

5 жыл бұрын

This is hilarious to me for some reason

@puppup7041

5 жыл бұрын

Why do I have an outline?

@phonetheory7056

5 жыл бұрын

Really helpful for detecting asian murderers.

@Celestine1313

5 жыл бұрын

Great for Vietnam war 2

3:47 Walking down the street and see a baby In a stroller with a 43 above its head *_Confusion intensifies_*

@zachariasprice3762

5 жыл бұрын

His counter didnt reset on reincarnation

@picgmr1575

5 жыл бұрын

@@zachariasprice3762 only 43?

@no-xs8bk

5 жыл бұрын

@@picgmr1575 maybe only some of it reset

@liquidbogan4120

5 жыл бұрын

You see me and the counter blocks vision

@lilliegraham5066

5 жыл бұрын

I think confused screaming intensifies might work better

You can choose a blade of grass and it will become sentient. You then *have* to watch it figure out that it is an insignificant blade of grass, and fall into a deep depression, eventually killing itself after about a minute of life.

@shaggy7958

2 жыл бұрын

That sounds like a great power

@freakout9493

Жыл бұрын

If you want to be a supervillain, that would be extremely useful for destroying landscapes. You can also use this as a construction worker in order to find room to build houses.

@twistedwizard9100

9 ай бұрын

It pulls out a tiny gun

"Every time you go to sleep, you switch reproduction capabilities with another living organism at random with no indication of what it is"

@dr.altoclef9255

2 жыл бұрын

I hope it’s not sea slugs today.

@lottabubbles1596

2 жыл бұрын

Binary fission? First bacterial microogranism. Imagine waking up and 16 of you are dead because you ran out of energy to duplicate.

Every two weeks, your testicles swell, detach and then regrow, allowing you to farm them like apples.

@FrancisR420

5 жыл бұрын

That's not how you farm apples

@Soitisisit

5 жыл бұрын

But why though.

@eggomyweggo6576

5 жыл бұрын

Soitisisit balls don’t just grow off the vine you know. Gotta supply the market somehow

@saddoggo1085

5 жыл бұрын

Ben S. But do they expire

@tereziipyrope

5 жыл бұрын

P r o f i t

The egg power would be sick! You could just enter deals with people saying “if you accept my egg I get all your belongings” and just sign a legally binding contract

@spindash64

4 жыл бұрын

Cuddly McDoominator Or you could just offer them a nice egg in these trying times

@ashleyyang2510

4 жыл бұрын

I would raise chickens

@wellguesswhatIthink

4 жыл бұрын

It didn't say you could bargain

@unknownplite

4 жыл бұрын

Hey Jeff Besos, want to buy an egg for all of your money? Sure man!

@NovemberEighty

3 жыл бұрын

What person would willingly sign a legally binding contract that would mean they could potentially lose all their belongings?

For the counter above everyone's head one, what would be really weird is if your sitting in class and the quiet kid's one goes up.

@Lizzieaftermidnight

3 жыл бұрын

It starts going down

@aliteralpotato873

2 жыл бұрын

@@BlockedUser1 it got unpeed

@solaridastoobid

2 жыл бұрын

@@aliteralpotato873 unmasturbated

@ghbjguyyfvbman8611

2 жыл бұрын

Y’all are weird

Rotating grass sounds really good in a fight. If someone jumps you, run to the nearest lawn and start rotating grass at an incredible speed. Once the dude attacking you steps on the grass, the grass drills through their shoes and into their feet. Then, you stop rotating grass once the grass gets lodged in their feet, and then attack them normally.

The greatest power would be where if you say "power rangers" out loud, the person physically farthest away from you (halfway around the world), would change into an unnatural color, like teal, salmon, or purple. Edit: wow I’m surprised this got so much recognition

@failbuoy7810

4 жыл бұрын

Imagine if someone had this power any of the times that someone went to the moon _That's one small step for AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA_

@rgoldstien

4 жыл бұрын

Oh yes my favourite colour is the fish salmon

@totalhufflepuff203

4 жыл бұрын

@@rgoldstien There is more than one type of salmon. The one I am referring to is the color salmon, which is a shade of pink.

@totalhufflepuff203

4 жыл бұрын

@Renee Park no you can't. It's completely random and if a person's color is already changed, it just becomes a different one. It can't turn back into the original unless you shout out "ginger snaps"

@totalhufflepuff203

4 жыл бұрын

@Renee Park yeah basically lol

About the unpee thing: > Could be useful for incontinence and bed-wetting > The first time you use it, it's absolutely silent > It goes up one decibel with each use > Be 10th grader > Invited to sleepover > Run out of things to say and room gets silent, with everyone on their phone > Suddenly, you hear a large SCHLORP > Mfw somebody just unpeed

@daniblabla709

4 жыл бұрын

Unpee enough times and it can turn into a weapon. If you unpee 180 times, you can make a *S C H W O O P* as loud as a flashbang.

@KainDestinedAscension

3 жыл бұрын

@@daniblabla709 do it 1100 times and u create BLACKHOLES

@bsixnshtns891

3 жыл бұрын

How long did that take you?

@citizenfoffie7605

3 жыл бұрын

@BENJAMIN VERHAAREN r/theydidthemath

@ekki1993

3 жыл бұрын

@BENJAMIN VERHAAREN A black hole could be created from the energy of the sound though. And since decibels increase the sound exponentially, you would eventually get an energy black hole on a single unpee.

I do this all the time with my friends. Some of the best we've come up with are "you have laser vision but only while your eyes are crossed" and "you can fly but you have to take off and land on runways and abide international airspace."

"When I grow up, I want to ROTATE GRASS"

Goose button is perfect when you are about to die. Just become a Goose and then live for slightly longer.

@Andyatl2002

4 жыл бұрын

ShaneChenMusic, gooses don’t have long lifespans.

@tacticalbarstool3385

4 жыл бұрын

Andrea Yanome a Canadian can survive for up to 24 years

@roteberg1

4 жыл бұрын

@@tacticalbarstool3385 I didn't know the life expectancy of a Canadian was 24 years. I thought they had a normal life expectancy of 82 or what ever.

@tacticalbarstool3385

4 жыл бұрын

@@roteberg1 hah they aren't like humans

@roteberg1

4 жыл бұрын

@@tacticalbarstool3385 it was a joke on you not specifying Canadian geese. r/woooosh

The power to offer someone an egg, and they will always accept it... Me: hello sir would you like an egg, it only costs 10 billion dollars! **PROFIT**

@slaxep5960

5 жыл бұрын

The legend u are a legend

@carto4028

5 жыл бұрын

Somebody’s carrying something heavy and need both there arms. Would you like an egg? Drops everything. GOD DAMMIT!

@aaronsimonjr9711

5 жыл бұрын

Guy pointing a gun at you, offer two eggs, has to drop the gun for the eggs.

@CaptainSpycrab

5 жыл бұрын

'Mister Trump, this egg contains a small explosive device. Would you like to hold on to it for the next' - *checks watch* - 'twelve seconds?'

@bigulful

5 жыл бұрын

This is literally a godly ability now.

My power is where I always get 100 dollars when somebody lies to me Mom : I love you, son. Me: +$200

@ohno6528

4 жыл бұрын

damn...

@AreHorsesReal

4 жыл бұрын

wait +200, but it said 100 ur not her son

@ohno6528

4 жыл бұрын

@@AreHorsesReal we know Captain Obvius

@AreHorsesReal

4 жыл бұрын

@@ohno6528 dont need to be rude

@ohno6528

4 жыл бұрын

@@AreHorsesReal I didnt mean to be rude

Everytime you see a toilet, you are forced to drag the closest person next to you onto the toilet and scream at them until they poop

@bugsauce2261

2 жыл бұрын

Jesus christ.

3:51 that moment when your sitting in class and the weird kid’s number goes up

@agatha968

5 жыл бұрын

What if the professor number goes up?

@aspenrose_

4 жыл бұрын

Cheatcode Gaming that would have happened so many times with one kid i know

@tubb1

4 жыл бұрын

Brother?

@elongatedborzoi1160

4 жыл бұрын

When the number R A P I D L Y I N C R E A S E S

@DkKombo

4 жыл бұрын

@@elongatedborzoi1160 Desks a quaking, teachers awaken, mom's a spanking.

If you touch something with both hands, it immediately developed all organs needed to keep it alive and comes to life. Unfortunately, they all see you as their parent and you have to take care of them. You can train entire armies of potatoes to fight which is cool I guess.

@nathanpixelkid

4 жыл бұрын

THE_IRISH wants to know your location

@butterskywalker8785

4 жыл бұрын

honestly,that'd ruin my dream of fucking my phone

@watergamer6446

4 жыл бұрын

I'm sorry, your _what_

@butterskywalker8785

4 жыл бұрын

@@watergamer6446 you read it correctly

@butterskywalker8785

3 жыл бұрын

@@lazargaming5900 but I'd be like its parent

You can teleport to any tractor in the world. Once. Or Become invincible whenever you play the trumpet.

@Amelia-tg9op

3 жыл бұрын

Imagine a superhero just walking around playing a trumpet punching people

@lottabubbles1596

2 жыл бұрын

Trumbone, extra weapon.

@slugintub634

11 ай бұрын

Do you have to play it well or can you just play some random notes?

@slugintub634

11 ай бұрын

Do you become more transparent depending on how well you play?

@slugintub634

11 ай бұрын

I mis-read invincible as invisible

Rest in peace soothouse. Here's to so many laughs, chuckles and guffaws. Rest well, and know that you have brought a smile to my face. Thank you, and goodnight.

Whenever you fart, confetti comes out and a birthday horn is tooted (Even if the fart is silent).

@adventureinc.9769

4 жыл бұрын

Adrim theToaofMetal Does it appear outside your pants or do you just have to walk around with confetti in your pants.

@Sunofasongwriter

4 жыл бұрын

I... I... HOW DO YOU RESPOND TO THAT

@takealilpill347

4 жыл бұрын

It's your birthday? Pull my finger!

@harleydavidson06

4 жыл бұрын

imagine when you are at a funeral and everybody is deep emotional. And suddenly you have to fart and have that superpower😬🤣🤣

@xx_somescenecath0lic_xx888

3 жыл бұрын

I like my own comments you should like them too HAHAHAHAH

The ability to have a pen but then lose it after a single day

@samc6974

5 жыл бұрын

I really have that super power. Except they have to be pens I take from people wanting me to sign reciepts.

@blom6566

5 жыл бұрын

that ability could beat any human beings

@brandonvistan7444

5 жыл бұрын

I know some people with that ability.

@NinjaAnimations

5 жыл бұрын

just sell the pens

@jackbudi

5 жыл бұрын

The ability to reply to all of your comments would be my super power. But I can’t find all of them. This is so sad, Alexa play the dead meme.

You have the power to create an extremely funny KZread channel, but sporadically end it after roughly 2 or 3 years.

2:32 He should’ve showed a video of someone talking to a celebrity with plastic surgery

If "The Goose Button" isn't on some kind of merch, I'm leaving

@8bitPikachu

5 жыл бұрын

i want one

@scaryjam8026

5 жыл бұрын

Chef Excellence a goose button or merch?

@TigorahanTheBear

5 жыл бұрын

@@scaryjam8026 I mean like on a shirt or even a literal button. IDC what, but something

@YehudiNimol

5 жыл бұрын

Leave

@carrotbluecheese5607

5 жыл бұрын

I mean, I think it is TOO risky to sell buttplugs but ok

I want a shirt that says something like "Once you hit the goose button, you can't go back."

@WeGaming998

5 жыл бұрын

Me approves

@D1sc0rd-

5 жыл бұрын

*_HISTORIAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!_* > spinal crackling

@marsisgay936

5 жыл бұрын

Imagining the conversations with the people who are confused, and those with the people who know what it means is really funny to me

You know the exact weight of every Swahili person in a 5 mile radius

What if one of the members of SootHouse accidentally had their goose button pressed and that’s why we haven’t seen them in the later videos. _Rihanna what have you done_

@ajd489

3 жыл бұрын

Hjöñk

@OreoCrimson

3 жыл бұрын

Hjöñk

@phia._.

3 жыл бұрын

Hijöñk

@ghost7219

3 жыл бұрын

Sad but true

@Royalgreen_

3 жыл бұрын

Hjöñk

See, the finger gun one is actually incredibly tragic. Not only do you die, but you leave the person who did it with an incredible guilt, believing themselves to be a monster of earth shattering potential. At first they just are more gloomy at work, the weight of their actions not having hit them yet but as the realisation of their action sets in they work harder and harder to ensure they never do it again. They avoid formal functions and work parties since they can’t trust themselves not to do a celebratory finger gun or two, they keep cutting themselves off from those around them. Their partner, their children, everyone they love and care about slowly gets removed from their life. Their phone has dozens of missed calls but after a while their estranged family stops trying, and their work replaces them in their role. With no money or loved ones they slowly fall into a pit of despair and self loathing and attempt to take their own life with the weapon that started it all, only to discover it doesn’t work. On and on their torturous life continues until they meet someone, someone who bore a similar curse and told the finger-gunner that they need to find a way to use their curse to help the world, to help make up for the wrongs they have committed. Emboldened by this wise teacher, they make something of themselves. They train to keep a stern face, they avoid predominate white neighbourhoods where fingerguns are all the rage and with consisted dedication and plenty of montages, they finally make it. Their teacher says that they trust them, and to pull a finger gun on the teacher themself. Reluctantly, the fingergunner does so and no wound is caused. Overwhelmed with joy, the gunner promises to pay this teacher back for all they have done, and will do their best to use it to help people. They get back into work, they find their family and reconnect, everything begins to fall back. The gunner knows happiness once again. The world finally fixed the disaster that was the freak superhero when their office is under attack by a gunman. With a brave stance the finger gunner stands up and points their hands, loudly declaring that they won’t see any more innocent people shot in this building. Then they get shot because of course they do

@promise8614

5 жыл бұрын

It makes me sad that this doesn't have like a thousand likes.

@92Roar

5 жыл бұрын

Camilo Rosas Well shucks, thanks! Glad I could make ya laugh :)

@jabariwiththebois5765

5 жыл бұрын

This is the most underrated comment in this video...

@92Roar

5 жыл бұрын

Tiago Ferro Why thank you! Glad you enjoyed it it’s like our own little secret joke :)

@jabariwiththebois5765

5 жыл бұрын

@@92Roar Yeah, it's better that way!

My superpower is that the police always know when I'm close to a playground or primary school

@TwentySeventhLetter

5 жыл бұрын

I believe that's called "Ankle Brace," very powerful

@dwarfchicken

5 жыл бұрын

@@TwentySeventhLetter Bracelet*

@boftendfzxvc5833

5 жыл бұрын

weird flex but ok

@gentleman7407

5 жыл бұрын

@@TwentySeventhLetter Not as powerful as the mythical scroll of paper also known as, "Restraining order"

@gentleman7407

5 жыл бұрын

@@alexosorio286 Sending minions is always a sign of weakness....

7 british guys laughing for 9 minutes straight is the kind of content I'm into.

1:43 wilbur: *dying*

With the egg one you can just straight up hand someone an egg with a bomb in it. Imagine being a superhero in a fight with the big bad, and out of nowhere the villain stops and accepts an egg from one of your teammates then promptly explodes.

@thegodssin3631

3 жыл бұрын

or the villain gives you an egg

@pustota7254

3 жыл бұрын

@@thegodssin3631 and you accepts it

@outspade

2 жыл бұрын

can i offer you an egg in these trying times

@fluffynator6222

2 жыл бұрын

My grandmother knew someone who almost died picking up a hand granate thinking it's an egg... XD

My superpower would be the ability to *T A P I N T O M Y I N N E R G O O S E*

@peebo6929

5 жыл бұрын

Ryiken you’ll need more than a tap to get up there

@etheriousnatsudragneel5835

5 жыл бұрын

The goose army will rise

@theguythatasked6400

4 жыл бұрын

You have to press The *G O O S E* *B U T T O N*

@boatymcboatface5195

4 жыл бұрын

hjonk hjonk

@elongatedborzoi1160

4 жыл бұрын

Imagine if you had the power to N U T T when ever without any health side effects

When you're at the dinner table and grandma has the highest score

You can create a small grape in your hand whenever you want

@flargarbason1740

3 жыл бұрын

Generate massive amounts and end world hunger

@cjlite0210

3 жыл бұрын

@@flargarbason1740 that's my intent lol END WORLD HUNGER WITH SMALL GRAPES!

Can talk to plastic.... Me: talks to Kim Kardashian

@tevthecanadian3250

5 жыл бұрын

LMAO 😂😂

@tevthecanadian3250

5 жыл бұрын

@Cybowolf No doubt about it. XD

@stefan6347

5 жыл бұрын

i'M cRyIng!!!!! HA hA ha ha Ha Ha ha hA HA

@caseyw1288

5 жыл бұрын

or regina george!

@ediepearson5968

4 жыл бұрын

I can talk to rubbish Hi cardi b!

There would be a lot of geese in prison. Circumcision doctors could make millions on the unpeel super power.

@pgtv14

4 жыл бұрын

I wish I could unpeel my foreskin

@viktingg

4 жыл бұрын

Why would you say that

@LadiesHideYourMans

3 жыл бұрын

@@gziddy7340 I mean you can

@mmbleachtasty6121

3 жыл бұрын

@@LadiesHideYourMans r/cursedcomments

@BierBart12

3 жыл бұрын

@@LadiesHideYourMans That wouldn't heal the destroyed nerves, though

3:07 You're laughing. His kids died and you're laughing.

@javijavi6

9 ай бұрын

I didn’t laughed

@johannesviljoen9656

9 ай бұрын

@javijavijavijavijavijavijavi this isnt about you then.

I like to think after the end of Soothouse half of the group went to Peru to become window cleaners and the other half have been guzzling water for the past four years

You can instantly legally change anyone's name to anything ending in -arius. We'll see how Chad likes insulting you after you change his name to Marmarius.

@GippyHappy

4 жыл бұрын

Yeah like I'm gonna be taking life advice from a guy named _Marmarius_

@JCstock

4 жыл бұрын

Now that sounds like a true rick and morty fan

@nathanpixelkid

4 жыл бұрын

damn Pixelarius sounds cool or if its after my whole name its Pixelkid Remixesarius or Pixelarius Remarius

@onyxxed6582

4 жыл бұрын

I would like your comment, but it has 69 likes and I don't wanna mess that up

@nathanpixelkid

4 жыл бұрын

@@onyxxed6582 good job, good sirarius

The ability to summon a single lamp once

@metalrebel7506

5 жыл бұрын

I want it.

@emilyjewelle3301

5 жыл бұрын

....Only to realize that there's no electrical outlet.

@nxtxlieyoutube7851

5 жыл бұрын

Are you a moth?

@a.b.1826

5 жыл бұрын

Is it on?

@TheZincMaster-on1fy

5 жыл бұрын

Logic Anxiety Morality Princey (Yes I'm a fander)

Watching this KZread channel is like being in a conversation with your friends but you don’t have any input and you just laugh at all the jokes they make.

When you break a bone, they come back stronger and longer

2:41 Dan: hello Soothouse: **hysterical laughter**

@astralalice1162

5 жыл бұрын

Spoopy Duck thats dan you uncultured swine

@spoopyduck4651

5 жыл бұрын

Waffuls ... shit

@fsp3637

4 жыл бұрын

dodger no it’s obviously Rihanna you libtard

@normalguycraig

4 жыл бұрын

I think you mean *ello*

@SweetzTheOne

4 жыл бұрын

it was because it was so sudden after such a long pause.

A tattoo of a compass on the back of your hand that always points to the location of the nearest yurt

@adus2821

5 жыл бұрын

what the F R E A K is a yurt

@vladzanoga4580

5 жыл бұрын

@@adus2821 that's short for yoghurt

@adus2821

5 жыл бұрын

@@vladzanoga4580 its yogurt

@tribeofephraim5801

5 жыл бұрын

@@adus2821 no its yoghurt

@tribeofephraim5801

5 жыл бұрын

@@adus2821 but jokes aside,a yurt is a type of tent

You can feel the pain of a pillow when you beat it

When you get anxious, your legs fall off like a lizard's tail. They dont grow back.

8:05 "Can I offer you an egg in these trying times?"

@TornadoZX825

5 жыл бұрын

No

@tallic967

5 жыл бұрын

Yes

@tbush7316

5 жыл бұрын

Good ol' Danny Devito

@gojjiraclay

5 жыл бұрын

You are agy

@mesinovict6316

4 жыл бұрын

Can i offer you an egg for 1 million dollars?

“You can unpeel” **Chews into fried chicken** **Spits up skin back onto the food but swallows the meat** **Repeats process until it is hollow skin on a bone** **Consumes chicken husk**

@mcatu3

4 жыл бұрын

Mc Diggles I would like this but I’m afraid to

@BigDaddy-je2nq

4 жыл бұрын

Mc Diggles It's like on jimmy neutron when his dad gets his time reversal thing and sits at the ice cream store eating ice cream, throwing it up, and eating it again in an endless loop while everyone watches

@funkykongreal

4 жыл бұрын

Um

@MidnighttArtz

4 жыл бұрын

So with this power you can uncircumcise yourself?

@jessejames4661

4 жыл бұрын

Every day, we stray further from God

Any object you throw acts like a boomerang, flies in a perfect curve and then comes back, if you move it changes trajectory so it always comes back perfectly

you can bite your girlfriend, but you can't make a proper apology

@ThomasAndSkye

3 ай бұрын

oop

@DANNY-RULEZ

Ай бұрын

ur a genuinely sad person. imagine making jokes about someone's abuse.

@ryankulikowsky

Ай бұрын

@@DANNY-RULEZthe person is calling out Wilbur, not really making a joke

Does this mean geese have a human button

@onelayercake5154

5 жыл бұрын

Dj Kirby oh my

@onelayercake5154

5 жыл бұрын

They just emerge from the pond and they are a person

@chocolate_gore

5 жыл бұрын

OneLayerCake They just slowly walk out the water doing confused geese noises and movements

@krounos1

5 жыл бұрын

No there's no coming back can't you read?

@deth3234

5 жыл бұрын

@@krounos1 He's talking about geese that were always geese

I wish I had the ability to take my kids back from Martha.

@echamreacts

5 жыл бұрын

Hit or miss please let me see my kids huh

@dal.salvador

5 жыл бұрын

@@echamreacts you literally killed me.

@Eternal_Sky_Tardis

5 жыл бұрын

WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME???

@annemarie9035

5 жыл бұрын

@@echamreacts she got a new boyfriend she said the kids wont miss ya

@mitskiluvr8786

5 жыл бұрын

Anne Marie he gonna eat her ass like pizza

You can see through walls, as long as the wall is transparent.

@lottabubbles1596

2 жыл бұрын

window?

You can change your emotions at will, but they will be exaggerated so hard that it's ridiculous and everyone hates you.

@randomslomo1875

Жыл бұрын

Already have that superpower

@randomslomo1875

Жыл бұрын

Just the everyone hating me part though...

@anawfulperson

10 ай бұрын

@@randomslomo1875damn

Every time you count to 60, a minute passes

@The_Arctic_Kiwi

4 жыл бұрын

The power to dictate time? Yes please.

@watergamer6446

3 жыл бұрын

if you use this with stopping time you could potentially have infinite time to do whatever you want

@microTrash28

3 жыл бұрын

Just count really fast, and you can bend time itself.

@prismus6520

3 жыл бұрын

Or count really slow and stretch time almost infinitely!

@yellobanana6456

3 жыл бұрын

Count backwards and learn to time travel

My dad has the power to disappear and never come back. It's been 14 years now.

@axelotl4181

5 жыл бұрын

Legend says that he is still finding milk like he promised

@MyDudeman222

5 жыл бұрын

I think he's stuck in Gay Baby Jail.

@jimmieww

5 жыл бұрын

Maybe he turned into a goose and found a new flock

@arianaangelaugustine3936

5 жыл бұрын

Oof

@jackbudi

5 жыл бұрын

The milk. It’s always the milk.

whenever you jump, everyone else jumps aswell.

@aidancommenting

4 жыл бұрын

L-like, the whole planet? **crack**

@bluegiraffe4402

4 жыл бұрын

@@aidancommenting yes.

@aidancommenting

4 жыл бұрын

@@bluegiraffe4402 Lmao I'm just imagining all 7 billion of the human population just jumping in sync and knocking earth out of orbit

@Vicioussnakeboy

3 жыл бұрын

@@aidancommenting and probably sending earth into a collision course with Venus or something

You can talk to animals, but in exchange, you can’t talk to humans

@randomslomo1875

Жыл бұрын

So... Win-win?

The power to read your own mind

@baonkang5990

5 жыл бұрын

You can read what you saw that one time 12 years ago on tv at 4am. You also just use it to remember stuff.

@Anonymous-ve7pi

5 жыл бұрын

Tyler Smith Pretty handy for a forgetful person

@awesomepossume3682

5 жыл бұрын

Oh cool, im saying "Oh cool, im saying "Oh cool-

@Hanzer-ns5bh

5 жыл бұрын

Man, that shit could actually be a pretty cool superpower. I could figure out exactly why I felt the way I did or why I act a certain way in certain situations, and learn to better measure my actions/reactions based on that. I could access precious memories or important information that I'd long forgotten, and calm myself when I'm all stressed as fuck, all that cool Professor X shit.

@vladstefan5216

5 жыл бұрын

He just tried to be ironic and came up with a good idea. Now that's a power I wish I had.

My super power is disappointing my parents, it’s not a particularly super power though

@ihaveaname699

5 жыл бұрын

Oh hey I got that one too

@dylanwakley2553

5 жыл бұрын

i have a name oh sick we can be partners in crime

@ihaveaname699

5 жыл бұрын

@@dylanwakley2553 I thought we were superheroes

@dylanwakley2553

5 жыл бұрын

i have a name oh shit yeah lmao

@metalrebel7506

5 жыл бұрын

Same

Literally two posts in and I'm already laughing my arse off. Great job guys.

You have reverse strength. As in the heavier something is, the easier for you to lift/move it. So if you try to lift a paperclip, you literally won’t be able to but you could lift an 18-wheeler with one hand.

@masterboa6321

3 жыл бұрын

so avatar kyoshi's earthbending

My brother got really drunk last night and texted me a picture of a goose with the message “Am goosebumpy” under it. It just really reminded me of this video and I just wanted to share it :)

@Stanfordscienceman

4 жыл бұрын

He pressed the goose button

@nots4ltii

3 жыл бұрын

he pressed T H E G O O S E B U T T O N

@SourChicken1856

3 жыл бұрын

I sent a photo of a Stormtrooper to my friend to let him know that I'll miss him

@TheGamingScientist

3 жыл бұрын

Hmmmmmmm

@calciumstealer2448

3 жыл бұрын

That was a selfie

Superpower that makes soothouse mics have pop shields

@thelurkingpanda3605

5 жыл бұрын

:(

@HomoChomsky

5 жыл бұрын

The lo-fi miking is at least 1/3 of their appeal.

Had an emotional breakdown and then started watching SootHouse. Immediately felt 100x better.

Imagine some cursed damned world where Dan didn't say "You have to press the goose button"