"i do hope no one in the audience's got something" "i really hope somebody does" im with ross on that one x'D

@TheGameboys1000

2 жыл бұрын

we all know Alan was holding ;)

Whoever complied this is a good boy.. a good, good boy.

@olliemad

5 жыл бұрын

Well I’m sure you will be happy

@dougalbadger4918

2 жыл бұрын

or girl.

@janicewhybro79

2 жыл бұрын

@@olliemad gý

The bit where everyone has Alan's face, all looking round to the camera, is genuinely unnerving.

@TallSilentGuy

4 жыл бұрын

The masks are two-dimensional. I think you'll find it's inevitable that they appear to look at the camera.

@rogerjenkinson7979

3 жыл бұрын

Like the eyes in portrait paintings sem to follow you around the room. doesn't make massed Alan Davies's any less scary though.

@somegirl558

2 жыл бұрын

Same as putting a south park character on your profile pic to appear funny nd cool. 👍🏻👍🏻

Where are all of Alan's stories about him and his dog sharing their flat?

@medievalist

4 жыл бұрын

The one about the frog is adorable.

@RobRandomVids

4 жыл бұрын

@@medievalist "I'll go get Alan!"

@Chrisamic

3 жыл бұрын

Hey Alan! Come and check this out!

Victoria Wood, I get a deep sad when I see her, she was wonderful and funny and literally lights up a room when she entered. She is Sorely Missed.

Petition to get Stephen back on as a guest please

@matthorner35

4 жыл бұрын

That would be amazing.

@zapzupnz

4 жыл бұрын

Stephen retired from QI because the filming schedule was gruelling. Let the man have his well-earned rest.

@MrRasheedgow

4 жыл бұрын

Good idea

@cirrus393

3 жыл бұрын

Zap Zup that’s why OP said “as a guest”

@alastairbrand5821

3 жыл бұрын

Bring him on as a mystery guest, of course he would have to wear an Alan mask.

3:24 I'm just imagining the 1st AD's speech to the crowd before the taping, "okay folks, during the show tonight there will be a portion where some of the audience will be asked to wear a mask of Alan Davies because we will have a live demonstration of a bust with Alan himself part of the audience, if you're willing to wear a mask, please sit toward the middle" (3 different people in the audience member line slowly and casually step out of it nervously and walk away forever)

How did Stephen fry manage to make dog sex sound so poetic?

@WhiteCamry

5 жыл бұрын

Because he's Stephen Fry.

@Onio_Saiyan

2 жыл бұрын

Such is his charm.

Victoria Wood a sorely missed national treasure.

@medievalist

4 жыл бұрын

Jumped for joy when I saw her in the intro :) So glad they thought to put her in.

I find it so fascinating when I learn a new difference between American English and British English. In the US we say weiner dog but apparently in the UK it's sausage dog.

@zapkvr

5 жыл бұрын

In Australia we say dachshund

@maiNmusica

5 жыл бұрын

In Germany we say Dackel, Teckel, Dachshund... We never refer to it as anything sausage-related. 😂

@zapkvr

5 жыл бұрын

@@maiNmusica what about sausages?

@LughSummerson

5 жыл бұрын

Sausages are called wurst in Germany. German immigrants brought the word wiener to America, along with the frankfurter itself (of which the wiener wurstchen is one type). Wiener wurstchen means little Viennese sausage. Wiener on its own just means Viennese. There's lots of foods named after Vienna, not just that sausage; Wiener schnitzel, Vienna rolls (not to be confused with wienerbrød, which is what the Danes call Danish pastries).

@maiNmusica

5 жыл бұрын

@@Manakuuchiha nope. No Wursthunds. But I feel we should introduce that😂

I love how Alan really thought he had outsmarted them with blue whale, but got a klaxon anyways.

@karlwittenburg5868

Жыл бұрын

I think the speed they had on getting that klaxon out pretty much confirms that there is a button on the control panel labeled “Blue Whale”

I appreciate that Stephen let us know that ejaculation is the nice bit.

@curiouscuriouser2670

4 жыл бұрын

Trust me....it depends where!

Exactly what this world needs more of! Topless dogs!

i always wait for Sandi to get upset with me in the end.

For the future it would be appreciated if the episodes were marked for each clip. Otherwise brilliant show and i hope you keep going with numbers after you run out of the alphabet :D

@olliemad

5 жыл бұрын

No one but I wanna was a nice day to be a nice little bit late night

9:31 -37 I was waiting for "DIVISSSSIIIOOOOONNNNNNN!!!!!! CLEAR THE LOBBYYYYYYYY"

That certainly took a turn

My mom actually has the same cat-related issue as Cariad. Severely allergic, can't even be in a room with one, so she tells everyone they're evil and no one should own one. Well back in November I got a cat. She admits he's sweet as can be but basically stands by her belief that he's the only good cat there is (and that former roommates' cats that were nice to her were all just pretending).

No Lucky the German guide dog story? That's the best one!

@vishavkishore

5 жыл бұрын

The one who kept getting his owners run over? 😂😂😂😂😂 Loved it

@justvin7214

5 жыл бұрын

Haha I remember that story, the press wasn't allowed to state the dogs name because...it might worry the new blind owner of it. WTF!!!

@strawberrykicker2

5 жыл бұрын

It isn't true unfortunately

Aww, Victoria Wood :'(

There might be more dog videos because they're more variety among dogs than cats? Watching a sausage dog video is quite different from watching a husky video.

How sadly profound; Victoria Wood saying the turnspit dog was sad because it was dead. Thanks for the funnies Vicky, much missed.

@medievalist

4 жыл бұрын

Was just going to post the same thought :( Gone too soon.

It's like an anxiety dream, walking into a crowd and everyone looks like you. That would be "Where's *The* Wally?" 5:53 - And he never lost the habit.

I thought of Bob Carolgees as well!

I have only just now learned that you're not supposed to eat them off the stick like stephen demonstrates. I'm 28.

@SebHaarfagre

4 жыл бұрын

I tried to remember something similar happening to me.. then couldn't, so I Googled... *AND* I just learnt (I'm 30) that the division symbol is just a fraction with two dots. (...) The dots being "a number". God%"&)(&%#¤! why did nobody teach me this in school?! / how stupid am I to not realize before

@tygrkhat4087

4 жыл бұрын

@@SebHaarfagre "I just learnt (I'm 30) that the division symbol is just a fraction with two dots. (...) The dots being "a number"." I'm 58 and learned this right now.

@insaincaldo

2 жыл бұрын

@@SebHaarfagre It also seems completely made up. The symbol doesn't even belong to math, but a system of editorial symbols. Though used in parts of the world / is far more universal.

@SebHaarfagre

2 жыл бұрын

@@tygrkhat4087 Hahaha fantastic 😂 You're welcome and thanks yourself for the laughs! I love having/hearing about extremely delayed epiphanies.

@SebHaarfagre

2 жыл бұрын

@@insaincaldo Mind blown

When Alan said "blue whale" I got a KZread Premium ad with the two whales

Rex's handler 😍

2:11 Being Alan Malkovitch.

@chelseafcrocks82

3 жыл бұрын

Underrated comment

Happy international PUPPER DOG day!!!

The fact about the number of cat vs dog videos and Google entries is interesting. I watch a lot of the videos. I wonder if people who DON'T have cats or dogs watch more videos than people who DO have one. There's a study for ya.

We still have dogs around that were bred for same reason as spit dogs, i believe its the glenn of imal terrier, they talk about it at crufts every year

@zapkvr

5 жыл бұрын

Fascinating

@bravely_first6057

5 жыл бұрын

Now that is Quite Interesting.

@paulm2467

4 жыл бұрын

They are terriers, they were bred to go underground/ scent underground or dig up their prey for hunting or pest eradication, (terrier is derived from terra, Latin for earth), some may have been used as spit dogs but there isn't any solid evidence to support this although it's commonly announced at dog shows.

Is "blue whale" a permanent wrong answer on account of Alan's penchant for it?

@tycol322

3 жыл бұрын

95% of the time. Occasionally they throw him a blue whale bone and it's right. Though 95% of those times he thinks its a trap and doesn't say it lol

Lol rex didn't know wtf was going on

On the last part of the video where they talked about why it is we like to look at animal videos; I think it's because it does give us a good feeling. When people look at other people we are judging them in some way. Tall, short, dark skin, light skin, long hair, short hair, wearing a suit vs wearing jeans, a dress vs pants etc. I think people are just judgemental that way because we are always comparing other people with ourselves. But with animals it's different. They do not judge people at all. Therefore we are less likely to judge them. They love unconditionally. As so we are drawn to them more.

A world of Alans - horrifying

To me my favourite dogs are Malamutes, and Husky's....:)

That dog handler though was cuuuuute 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@tomwithey711

3 жыл бұрын

He's gay.

@CB-zv9cl

3 жыл бұрын

@@tomwithey711 really? yum. 😁😁😁

QI...goes to the dogs;-)

6:48 "What is my purpose?"

10:52 and that's why some call them puppies

PUPPY!

Alan looks funny with the long hair

I was hoping for the one with Russian trained dogs that carry explosives under enemy tanks, only for them to recognize the scent of specifically Russian tanks.

Smack My Bitch Up as the intro music is pretty ingenious

Alan seems like he is nervous majority of his life.. Poor guy, I know how it is.

The question was answered wrong. They asked "which animal gets the most watching" then answered "which animal has the most videos". Someone should get KZread to sum the views of each.

Didn't expect a "Requiem For a Dream" reference at 1:28 😉

@hannahcleary-hughes688

3 жыл бұрын

Ooooh yikes! Not a good scene in context but a fantastic film all the same

1:55 He looks way too happy about this... :')

Why do we watch Qi clips was hooked on Stephens episodes and now starting to watch Sandy's clips to.

@CritterKeeper01

5 жыл бұрын

Specialized 29er We Americans watch clips because they won't let us watch whole shows!

Why is John Snow in the line-up?

Bring back the turn spit dog

A lot of people were bricking it in the crowd with the drug dog...

2:00 2:48 Whats that high pitched sound?

@brianallman4

5 жыл бұрын

Given there is no sound, it may be your declining sanity

@TerrorTerros

5 жыл бұрын

Might be that my headphones have a bigger range than yours. But I will schedule an appointment with my therapist just to be sure.

@bennyharveyripbigman

5 жыл бұрын

Terros I can’t hear it but possibly a dog whistle ?

@SebHaarfagre

4 жыл бұрын

@@brianallman4 I thought it was a troll post (aimed at older people; high frequencies gets harder to hear) but I'm 30 and proud to say that I can hear the dog whining a bit at 2:48. 2:00 I didn't really check better though, but no obvious sound for me.

Nish Kumar's contribution; "That horse is like Trump" "That contentious topic is like Brexit" What a sparkling wit.

@sierraromeoromeo2444

2 жыл бұрын

He's still premier league to your 4th division.

@core-nix1885

2 жыл бұрын

@@sierraromeoromeo2444 A football analogy? How plebeian.

@sierraromeoromeo2444

2 жыл бұрын

@@core-nix1885 No, just pointing out the huge gulf between his talent and yours. The proof is that he gets on to panel shows and you never will! Also, how very elititist of you. Considering that you will never reach the top of any career, who the f**k are you to be throwing out insults? You are just some no-name chump in the comment section of KZread! Get a grip on reality, loser!

@core-nix1885

2 жыл бұрын

@@sierraromeoromeo2444 Words, words, words. But nothing of substance.

@sierraromeoromeo2444

2 жыл бұрын

@@core-nix1885 What? You are the one without substance, fool! You criticise but fail to show better! What a complete and utter pr*ck you are!

Well now we know where furrows come from...

@JONATHAN SUTCLIFFE - For god's sake turn off your caps lock!!!!

Is that Sal from impractical jokers at 1:48 on the far left?

People that prefer dogs are either allergic to cats or the cat threw them out of the house

Isn't it so fun that they train dogs to send people to prison :) awww so cute

@bloodyplebs

3 жыл бұрын

Yes.

Do people actually take the meat off the kebab before eating it? Every time I’ve seen someone eat a kebab they always eat it off the skewer. And eating it off the skewer is way more fun.

How did the spit dog go extinct? Sad that

@trevorlange

5 жыл бұрын

To be honest I sort of expected the answer to be a breed of dog bred for it's meat and that was really tasty. Quite literally making the best kebab

@TheGreatCalsby

5 жыл бұрын

Moreover, what about the selective breeding for it made it suitable for such a job?

@EthanKristopherHartley

3 жыл бұрын

@@TheGreatCalsby It would have been bred for size and stamina (small to fit into the space but able to keep the spit turning for as long as possible without resting.) with speed, aggression etc... being completely irrelevant.

Non-military grade Semtex smells of rotten fish.

That turnspit dog is so cute, it’s such a shame they are extinct. They keep French bulldogs around but let those cute dogs go extinct?

So did they just casually give Alan some actual drugs or is that dog also trained no the scent of icing sugar?

I regret to say I'm 24 and only now did I consider to take the meat off the skewer and I'm embarrassed by this

The sniffer dog didn’t seem to work, even with the prompts. How embarrassing(?)

Rex must have been an American police dog because he reacted on a command word not when he smelt drugs.

11:00 Goddammit! Remember Rule 34! There are NO exceptions!

@tristanridley1601

5 жыл бұрын

34b: If it does not exist, the very act of thinking about it will cause it to be made.

I generally feel people that can't click with animals are less trustworthy

Nice to see the unfunny Nish Kumar not shout "racist" just for once. 🤣🤣

I used to like Cariad Lloyd, before I watched this. Now she is my enemy FOREVER.

"His job is to search drugs anywhere we want to put them" *Excuse me wtf*

@MrWongle

4 жыл бұрын

Anywhere we want to put 'him'

@theliontails1

4 жыл бұрын

Pig spilt the beans on their strategy 👀👀👀

puppies and "puppies"

Stephen Frye has obviously never seen dogs mating and someone has fooled him about it.

@decodolly1535

4 жыл бұрын

My parents were dog breeders for many years and arse-to-arse is exactly how dogs do it.

@dmorwell

4 жыл бұрын

@@decodolly1535 I had dogs all my life, much of it before spay and neuter became a universal practice. I never saw dogs do it that way.

Who wants to go for dinner?

@olliemad

5 жыл бұрын

Yes please do not a text message or not I will be sure

9:00 - I thought they were talking about dogging videos...

If he'd kill for a kabab, would he want to murder a curry

Fun fact: you didn't search for this channel.

@firefightergoggie

4 жыл бұрын

@Aslan T Vorlon - well that's one of you.

@Mazurecki56

4 жыл бұрын

Yes I did, and a lot of people do too - QI is quite popular. Are you perchance American?

If in doubt just say "blue whale".

Dogs will love anybody. Even people who abuse them. Cats, on the other hand, don't need you. They don't need anyone, so when a cat shows someone affection, that is a special kind of person to be able to earn the affection of a cat. Not everyone is special enough to earn the affection of felines, and they know it. That's why people don't like cats. They don't like things that don't fawn all over them like a dog will. You have to earn the affection of that cat.

@lancer525

3 жыл бұрын

@Cinnamon Killjoy Clearly, you've got anecdotal experience, and haven't ever had cats in your home. Cats do not "attach" to humans the way that dogs do. Cats do it from choice, and are making the statement that you are worthy enough to be in their clowder. Dogs are pack animals by genetics. Cats have an extremely detailed and intricate method of communication. Subtle, by human standards, it can range from how they blink when they look at you, to whether or not they have their paws under them or in front of them when lying down near you. The first means "I trust you, so I don't have to keep my eyes fixed on you". The second means, "I understand you don't view me as lunch, so I will be comfortable, instead of ready to run away." Cats don't require any "maintenance" in terms we think of as maintenance. All you have to do is show them that you are a big, dumb, hairless, tailless cat with no intention of challenging them for leadership of the group, and you're in. That also seems to be beyond the average person. I have six currently. They all have different personalities, communicate in different ways, and show affection differently. I know which of the six is needing attention, and which of them don't. All of them chose to live here, and all of them are affectionate in their own way. It takes a bit of intelligence to understand a cat. As you put it, that's a significant hurdle for the common person.

@cnut7383

3 жыл бұрын

@@lancer525 Jesus Christ I didn't know owning cats gave you a superiority complex

Don't worry, lady... the cats don't like you either. They're smart enough to tell.

That horse DOES look like Donald Trump.

Lol Nish literally can't stop thinking about Trump and Brexit for a single hour to be on a comedy programme

@mrk.dilkington

4 жыл бұрын

Possibly the unfunniest "comedian" ever.

The difference between cats and dogs. A cat doesn't care if you get upset when it knocks a expensive item off a shelf/table what ever, and it's more likely to take a swipe at you for yelling at it.

@olliemad

5 жыл бұрын

She is going back over to my dad right after the day and then we go back over to her room

Wait, you guys can say shit on TV in the UK?

are you sure its a hoprse i thought it was an ass

Unpopular opinion (?): Dogs > cats.

@benkolya

5 жыл бұрын

@JONATHAN SUTCLIFFE what

@supremesingularbladeofgras8992

5 жыл бұрын

That's not an unpopular opinion

Can Neesh make a joke without any politcal commentary. I have never seen it. Watch the others, they all just laugh and take the piss. He has to get the shit political joke in. Something I observed recently since he bombed out up north because that was all the humour he had. Why I love Alan, he has variety and spontenaety, dont know what the joke will be about.

Was Alan really meant to wear the mask too? I understand that for some control everyone was to look like Alan, but, to a dog, doesn't he look enough like himself already? I mean, if he was meant to wear a control mask all along, why make it his face?

WRONG!! Come on, QI. Ask an experienced dog owner. Dogs don’t mate butt to butt 1:25. The male mounts and mates with the reluctant female in a doggie style position (surprise😊). Then, while the male is still knotted (look it up), the female tries to walk away, but can’t because the two are still mechanically connected. The female may try to walk to the side and then continues in the only direction she can… toward the back, and under the male’s leg, ending with the two dogs standing butt to butt. The do NOT try to mate that way. Nature keeps them knotted to ensure his “donation” is successful. PS, I currently have six dogs - 3 males, 3 females - and have seen this little dance a good number of times… unfortunately. 😊

I DO so like dogs, but I prefer bitches.

"Basically what his job is, is he finds drugs wherever we wanna put 'em." Whoops, bootlicker revealed his strategy.

@CountDoucheula

4 жыл бұрын

*Freudian slip confirmed*

@decodolly1535

4 жыл бұрын

He said "wherever we want to put HIM", meaning the dog can search for drugs anywhere.

@Caroleonus

3 жыл бұрын

Learn to accent, bro

Disturbing

Dogs rule, cats drool

Only boomers still think cat videos represent internet culture

how many pages are indexed about cats or dogs.. yeah that's definitely int....yyaaaaaaaaaaawwwwnnnn.... interesting... how about we change the subject to most lucrative variant of kaegogi throughout south korea?

Dogs > Cats

9:30 sounds like 90% of the cat lovers are women, and 90% of the dog lovers are men.

Drugs dogs give false positives all the time for just trying to make their owners happy. They also fail miserably roadside or outdoors.

Man who is missing Stephen too?

@neuraloli

5 жыл бұрын

Everyone?

@diggledoggle4192

5 жыл бұрын

Sandy is doing alright given she has the job of replacing Stephen, you'll never beat the original anyway.