I’m an abuse survivor and it has impacted my entire life and the choices that I make as an adult and there are others in support groups who can verify this. There is also a lot of information available to help make the connection. And my life experiences valid that. What was the lesson in my father attempting to kill me? That is trauma. And the book you’re talking about The Body Keeps the Score helps me understand my trauma better. I have complex ptsd.

Love Dr. Lisle. Thanks so much for having him on as always

I am a better person because I get to listen to Doug Lisle and I say that with the utmost respect - his ability to explain human behavior is unmatched and I have learned so so much from him! Thank you so much for bringing his wisdom to mainstream America and beyond!

No one gives better book recommendations than the good Dr. Spent has now been ordered 🙌🏼 The Pleasure Trap was life changing and I’m so excited for the next book 😍

Down the rabbit hole for the last hour of the show with the childhood trauma question. Come on, we have heard Dr. Lisle's take on this before. I'm sure there were many other questions that would have been relatable to the majority of the audience. That's why we love the Dr. Lisle segments.

I love all his podcasts and interviews,even though I disagree on some points with him, I really enjoy listening.

Love your singing, Chef AJ

I never equated loudness with testosterone. Interesting. We have a coworker who talks very loud all the time---her voice carries. I think we all have believed she needs to be more self aware and lower her volume. But you've given me a different perspective. Interesting about the attractiveness, too, and also the idea of openness regarding the nose ring. Fascinating. And are people really that aware of their own level of attractiveness? I have no idea if I was a 5 or an 8. And now that I'm 60, I am invisible, it seems.

@Nina-hk7ub

Жыл бұрын

Yes, us older women disappear.

@user-dt3hk7fu8w

11 ай бұрын

I equal loudness with extroversion

I was sexually abused starting at 5 years old, by two separate family members . I told my mother and she told me not report it because I shouldn’t cause a scene or cause problems for other people. That interaction had affected every thought I’ve had since that interaction. Apparently other people matter more than me. So, I have a hard time with his theory.

@michellehashish5341

Жыл бұрын

I’m very sorry you went through that 😢 I have a hard time with Dr Lisle’s theory too. He said bad experiences are for learning. That works when something bad happens that you can learn to avoid, like when you touch something hot you get burned and feel pain, so don’t touch hot things. But when you are a child and in an abusive situation (can be alcoholic parent, physically or mentally abusive, neglected no food etc) you can’t avoid that situation, you are a child and stuck totally reliant on your caregiver, and if they don’t care all you learn to do is suffer. Your nervous system gets no relief. I absolutely believe childhood trauma has negative effects on our mental and emotional health and creates disfunction. Other than that I like Dr Lisle and find his talks very interesting.

@agray4543

Жыл бұрын

what children who were abused essentially from birth, as I was, by more than one family member and then by those outside of family, what we learn is to avoid PEOPLE and to not trust them as they have proven themselves to be a source of great pain. We learn that apparently our main purpose in life is to be there for someone else to use and abuse. Early childhood abuse changes your personality in profound ways, you never get to develop normally. These are bad experiences that come from the criminal actions of people who did not suffer the appropriate consequences of THEIR actions in a society that does not value children nor any other vulnerable population. Those criminals learned to avoid detection and punishment by choosing the most vulnerable as their victims. I didn't listen to all of Dr Lisle's theories, I fell asleep and woke up to him saying something about trauma that sounded clearly like victim blaming and I haven't wanted to listen to any more. Maybe later when I am less triggered. He did an interview with Chef AJ and the director of True North recently, where they were laughing about 90% of the population being "screwed" as far as resisting the temptations of highly processed foods and saying that only a small percentage (such as themselves!!!) were able to overcome their evolutionarily based drive for higher palatable high calorie foods- and they were literally LAUGHING about the "rest of us" who weren't like them. My respect for True North and these drs plummeted when they just laughed about our fate. it was horrifying to hear. I don't know if they realize how they came across but that sort of disdain for the vast majority of the population is deeply disturbing. I hope that whatever his theory is, that it is comes off as being less heartless and condescending in his book, than the things I've heard from him recently.

@elizabethheiland5632

Жыл бұрын

I think he's trying to say how our brains really remember trauma because it can be useful. So in your case you remember to not trust your mom.

Not liking the truth does not make untrue. This is fascinating. Books are ordered. Dr. Lisle presents this so clearly.

Always so fascinating :) thank you so much

1:16:30 Robert Wright's THE MORAL ANIMAL.

When I was 11, a childhood guy friend that I sort of liked called me fat. It triggered my eating disorder that I have been battling with ever since.

@jgrysiak6566

Жыл бұрын

No more meaty, cheesy, greasy! No fast food!

@pantameowmeow.s.1149

Жыл бұрын

In the 7th Grade I was morbidly obese and got even fatter in the 8th. I had a horrible family/childhood, started over eating in the 4th. I found food comforting. A girl, who I knew from orchestra and homeroom came up to me and said she couldn't understand how ugly I was and my cousin so cute, with a little laugh. She then walked away. I stood there shocked. I was really shocked. She had a crush on him, but why in the world did she feel the need to say this to me? Seriously, I think a lot of people were jealous of my musical talents and good grades, but... I was even told this by my so called friends - they felt threatened by my talents and secretly hated me. So stupid. The summer going into the 9th(?) I lost a good 70 lbs and became a great athlete to boot, changed schools(we moved) for a year. I already had problems, so her nasty remark didn't make things worse. Children, even teenagers, can be nasty horrible creatures. Some of us are more sensitive. You can change, you might need some professional health. A lot of pain from snide remarks out there. I'm sorry this is hurting you so much. I have no idea how old you are, but we can always change. BTW - come the end of high school she was fat and pregnant by her much older MAN naval boyfriend. I know it's immature to say, but I was pleased at what a mess she became. I'm still top fit at near 60.

@pantameowmeow.s.1149

Жыл бұрын

Lulu & Moew - Kristins has not written what kind of eating disorder she has.

@WholePlantChef

Жыл бұрын

@@pantameowmeow.s.1149 I've dealt with everything - from anorexia, to exercise bulimia and compensatory overeating. And I have been 100% wfpb, but that did't stop my obsession with my body weight, over exercising, and "overeating" - constantly eating whole foods because of how much I was exercising. Even on a whole food plant based diet, I can never calm down around food.

@WholePlantChef

Жыл бұрын

@@pantameowmeow.s.1149 I've dealt with everything - from anorexia, to exercise bulimia and compensatory overeating. And I have been 100% wfpb, but that did't stop my obsession with my body weight, over exercising, and "overeating" - constantly eating whole foods because of how much I was exercising. Even on a whole food plant based diet, I can never calm down around food.

There would be no ugly women if they ate the right diet. I think humans are more attractive then we see them today and it is because of a high fat high protein diet.

@roseflowersmarie3116

Жыл бұрын

Attractiveness involves more than diet. Grooming, hygiene , beliefs and personality are equally as important. This goes for men. No one is exempt.

Actually ‘very open’ on the big 5 is a curse haha 😂, it’s me in my youthful life making crazy loops dances, exploratory trips, experiences in all fields !!!! Much better now age 53 and a little more tame and wiser (more seasoned by life !) knowing myself better for sure too ! Cheers 🥂 you guys !!!! Love these talks

I don’t think we should be changing ourselves for another partner. I wouldn’t take my piercings out for anyone or never let anyone tell me that They won’t date me if I get more tattoos. That’s all superficial.

@user-dt3hk7fu8w

11 ай бұрын

That's true. Our aesthetic preference reflects who we truly are. So, if someone is uncomfortable with how I look, that's on them.

Ha! I checked out the Greenies online - it is a canine dental chew snack, guess they have a feline product too. He mentioned a cat. I thought Dr. L had some processed snack chips for himself back there and forgot to remove it.

In regards to the gentleman’s question about the lady with the nose ring… I gotta say I always thought that many of the women who had nose rings especially the hog ring type, we’re just effectively trying to be cool, fit in, and be liked. Not that Dr. Lyle excluded this as another facet of the situation.

@roseflowersmarie3116

Жыл бұрын

It’s actually a septum piercing and it’s a tradition in India which represents marriage. I initially liked the aesthetic of it and due to discrimination at work I waited 10yrs to have it done until it was more socially acceptable.

My husband once said he would never buy clothes for me "because of my size". I was really taken aback but he didn't even flinch.

I am also wondering if genetics and childhood trauma don’t go hand in hand. Kind of like in the WFPB world where it is said that genetics is the gun and the lifestyle is what can pull the trigger. Is it the same with personality? The genetics/personality is the gun and the childhood trauma pulls the trigger?

Quite interesting and freeing

1:10:35 if not traumatized/trauma causing our chronic problems then we have no claim on the village or the universe

@jcsmith7898

Жыл бұрын

Yeah, people don't want to take responsibility for their competitive struggles.

1:01:11 trauma learning system needs to be efficient and narrow in the lessons that we learn or else it would immobilize us and Darwinian evolution would select us out

Sometimes it’s class/money or intelligence-surely.

Gad Saad #290 on KZread an interview with the author of the moral animal. Recorded 6 yrs ago! Just discovered it.

SPENT by Geoffrey Miller ~ 1:18:00; p 50

I feel like a lot of people is strawmanning Dr.Lisle arguement about trauma. He saying you can't use trauma for certain problems that science don't support. For example, Im overweight because of past trauma despite them cramming in rich junk food every days. Trauma is an unfortunately experiences, but to keep using it in situations that don't follow will not help you. I feel like that is what he is saying. I could be wrong tho.

I'm definitely not into too good looking men for this reason. Ofcourse I didn't know this was the reason before I started listening to DL.

Lisle's a charmer, but, regarding trauma and ACEs, he is focusing on older children and adults, and in a very "logical" way; he clearly doesn't know about babies and toddlers and the lifelong negative impact that mishandling and feelings suppression has on them. He should read at least one of Aletha Solter's books.

I value Lisle, but, with his opposition to the validity of ACE study makes me want to ask him: where does he think vicious dogs come from?

@bonnies.d.1121

Жыл бұрын

Vicious dogs come from traumatizing early owners which the dog "remembers" via well-grooved nervous system pathways. C. W. Meisterfeld did, and his students continue to, bring about healing in severely traumatized dogs with respectful, self-disciplined positive-reinforcement training. People benefit from similar reparative treatment but also need weeping (and other physiological expressions of feeling (and, I bet, prayer)). I'm not sure if Dr. Lisle goes into what he thinks works for people therapeutically (I can't stick with him with what I've heard him say about trauma). I say again, though, he is not familiar with concepts of Aware Parenting and the good and the change they bring about for, yes, traumatized young people.

Every time i listen to Doug Lisle i think: so American! Or so male thinking. Thinking in numbers, ridiculous. Hope europeans agree with me. It must be bigger, smarter, more beautiful.

@74griffo

Жыл бұрын

It’s based on human behaviour. I believe that people all over the world are also humans.

... ☕🥪🤟