Parenting Teens Toward Adulthood (Part 1) - Dr. Ken Wilgus

Dr. Ken Wilgus encourages parents to deliberately work their way out of the parenting role by the time their child is 18, and instructs them to see their teenagers as young adults, not large children. He offers tips on how to progressively give your teen more responsibility, along with examples of how to have difficult conversations on a range of topics, from music choices to dating.
Get Ken's book, Feeding the Mouth That Bites You: bit.ly/3AEcvtM
For more resources on this topic: bit.ly/3R1tSdh
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Пікірлер: 81

  • @mcawesomest1
    @mcawesomest12 ай бұрын

    Parenting a teen and young adult these days is unbelievably difficult, exhausting and soul breaking

  • @wb5408
    @wb5408 Жыл бұрын

    This is SO AFFIRMING! Our oldest son just graduated and he has been pushing to get out since he was 13! I have thought so many times that we would have had WAY fewer issues if he could have graduated when he was 14. He would have been okay. Instead, we went through a whole lot of issues, and have been on a nauseating roller coaster ride, but we are PRAYING that we are coming out on the other side and that he is getting back on track to adulthood.

  • @kellysoon1
    @kellysoon1 Жыл бұрын

    The Lord Jesus perfect timing in hearing this message as I’m struggling with parenting my 2 teens. So many wow moments that the Lord opened up my mind to understand my teens behavior. Love the analogy of parents occupying our teens “state/country”and they want us out. Thank you for the practical tips. Can’t wait to hear part 2 and read the book.

  • @user-bs9wp2ct5j

    @user-bs9wp2ct5j

    4 ай бұрын

    The same here , having difficult times with my 14 year old son

  • @lauralove4519

    @lauralove4519

    3 ай бұрын

    Same issue with 14 yr old son becoming a stranger and always wanting to be with his friends.

  • @cecilletambong1890
    @cecilletambong1890 Жыл бұрын

    It's not easy to handle teenage daughters now a days.

  • @L0vejenjen

    @L0vejenjen

    4 ай бұрын

    no its not i feel overwhelmed most days im so tired

  • @tprevite

    @tprevite

    Ай бұрын

    Was it ever?

  • @jessicaduran5479
    @jessicaduran54799 ай бұрын

    I’m so glad I found this my baby boy (12 years old ) is struggling so bad mentally & I know it has to do with how I have parented him looking toward to trying these new strategies ❤

  • @alethachery611

    @alethachery611

    5 ай бұрын

    It's not easy, but it's one of the best "jobs" we have. Celebrate and enjoy all parts of it. Celebrate yourself as well through it all.

  • @dailylifeexperiences560
    @dailylifeexperiences560 Жыл бұрын

    When I first began listening it caused an eyebrow raise however by the end I was in full agreement. Great presentation!

  • @jennywarman314
    @jennywarman314 Жыл бұрын

    Wish I had heard this BEFORE my kids became teens! A brilliant plan!

  • @EveSalkey
    @EveSalkey9 ай бұрын

    This has been the BEST information I have seen on working with my children/Teens. Thank you.

  • @DaddysGrl463
    @DaddysGrl46311 ай бұрын

    Life is more expensive now, and I refuse to allow my children to struggle. I will help them for a while longer.

  • @natashaassaf8815
    @natashaassaf8815 Жыл бұрын

    This was FANTASTIC!!

  • @darlenerodgers9910
    @darlenerodgers9910 Жыл бұрын

    What happens when they are making choices that are dangerous for them? I believe there are times when you need to protect them from themselves! We have wisdom that they do not and there are times where they need protecting.

  • @wb5408

    @wb5408

    Жыл бұрын

    I agree. I don't think this works with every teen. In fact, I think it's important to highlight that he says "normal teen behavior." I don't think he's saying that anything goes. As parents, we still need to have boundaries, especially when there are younger kids in the home, but I think having the "I will not only allow you to grow up, but I will help you grow up" mentality, instead of the "keep my babies forever" thought is what he's getting at.

  • @kathryncarty1629
    @kathryncarty1629 Жыл бұрын

    I needed this! I have a 15 year old boy and now I better understand why the strife has been there. Thank you for sharing this. My heart is healing with hearing this. 💓

  • @irenechikogu3362

    @irenechikogu3362

    Жыл бұрын

    Klla

  • @irenechikogu3362

    @irenechikogu3362

    Жыл бұрын

    Lkal

  • @irenechikogu3362

    @irenechikogu3362

    Жыл бұрын

    Ezkzahsuź

  • @irenechikogu3362

    @irenechikogu3362

    Жыл бұрын

    S

  • @irenechikogu3362

    @irenechikogu3362

    Жыл бұрын

    Hh

  • @annatevesbanzon1359
    @annatevesbanzon1359 Жыл бұрын

    Thank you for sharing ❤️

  • @marriedforlife
    @marriedforlife Жыл бұрын

    This was awesome! I agree 100%!!

  • @lambiejams1176
    @lambiejams11762 ай бұрын

    I really needed to hear this today. My 13 year old just asked me when he could move out and I broke down. I felt like a failure as a parent. I've loved and supported him and not hovered over him. He has lots of the freedoms spoken about here. So it really blind-sided me when he said he wanted to move out. But hearing this advice gives me some comfort that it's normal and I need to carry on gearing him up to leave.

  • @mcawesomest1

    @mcawesomest1

    2 ай бұрын

    They are so much smarter than we give them credit for

  • @lovinlife22207
    @lovinlife22207 Жыл бұрын

    This is really great. Thank you so much

  • @mabellazaro706
    @mabellazaro706Ай бұрын

    Praying for our son. Our heart is aching for him...he seemed to know everything he is doing is right and reasonable...he is a SH graduating student. We are trying to reach out to him to help and to guide, but he already kept a distance from us🥺 but still we're doing all we can to ahow him our love. His dad and I are both pastoring a church but he started to stay away from the people in the church, too.😢😢

  • @Angebaby1237
    @Angebaby1237 Жыл бұрын

    This was difficult to hear. But I understand why I found it. I was driving and let KZread direct what played next. Perfect timing. I have a 13 & 14 year old and so thankful they do their own laundry! My daughter and I struggle over the music she listens to. I am having a hard time getting her to see how our ear and eye gate effects our life, and bring us closer to Christ or further away. I’m planning the conversation in my head to give up that control. I believe this will change her perspective! 🙏🏻

  • @mooshway2000

    @mooshway2000

    10 ай бұрын

    I have a 14 and a 15 year old. This video was really helpful to me. One trick I've learnt with him, and maybe it'll work with your daughter, is curiosity. My son spends too much time on his phone and used to be on one particular game a lot. Instead of groaning about it I'd ask him questions instead and he'd happily talk about it. Now I ask him if he's watched/listened to anything interesting recently and he shows me things. We do also have time boundaries but that's a different story! Best of luck. Oh and well done with the laundry, I'm nowhere with that one!

  • @PRESCRIPTIVELIVINGDIAGNOSEPRES
    @PRESCRIPTIVELIVINGDIAGNOSEPRES Жыл бұрын

    This is 1 of the best messages I've heard. It is true that Christianity is a joke to the people we are called to be light and salt too. Only when the church is disciplined in love do they become effective disciples. I see this 9 out of 10 times on respectable display by people who aren't Christians. It's mind blowing and it's not okay.

  • @user-og1cw4bk4j
    @user-og1cw4bk4j Жыл бұрын

    fantastic..just what l needed

  • @tosinadeyemi6191
    @tosinadeyemi619110 ай бұрын

    Great content!

  • @Evixitygt
    @Evixitygt7 ай бұрын

    I used this approach with my oldest, did not go well. I will control, as much as needed. I will not allow mine to hang with the wrong crowd, make big important decisions with their immature brains. Sorry, this can be bad advise. If it worked for you, great, but it will not work for all.

  • @mmyabaki
    @mmyabaki Жыл бұрын

    Adult in training...love it

  • @Sweetie8387
    @Sweetie8387 Жыл бұрын

    Wow this was brilliant, I’ve now bought the book to get more tips

  • @user-so7qi1lc8j
    @user-so7qi1lc8j4 ай бұрын

    This is exactly what Islam teaches about teenagers being young adults rather older kids.. amazing to hear from this specialist 🎉bravo

  • @LoveLife-gv8jg
    @LoveLife-gv8jg7 ай бұрын

    Great video!😅❤

  • @mcdc101201
    @mcdc101201 Жыл бұрын

    I had saved this in my "watch later" a long time ago. I'm so grateful I found it again because I have recently become very discouraged and hopeless with a 9 year battle to get to the cause of a complete health decline. Doctors just pull out their prescription pads and tell me "everything looks normal" but I know it's not. I am planning to reach out for more info- thank you!!

  • @focusonthefamily

    @focusonthefamily

    Жыл бұрын

    We look forward to your call, friend. In the meantime, we'll be praying for you and your son.

  • @TheNephilim101
    @TheNephilim101Ай бұрын

    Thank you 🙏

  • @adultspurpose
    @adultspurpose2 ай бұрын

    nice to be hear...an advocate for teenagers

  • @lynghee159
    @lynghee159 Жыл бұрын

    Enjoyed your teaching. Not one size fits all in marriages or families.

  • @Lukdaman
    @Lukdaman3 ай бұрын

    Thenks for your perspective

  • @advondahunter5550
    @advondahunter5550 Жыл бұрын

    😊👏👏👏 THANK YOU

  • @agravy7657
    @agravy76575 ай бұрын

    My daughter is 11. I love her. I am just looking for help. I don't want to make the same mistakes that my father made

  • @sunflower8599
    @sunflower8599 Жыл бұрын

    So true about the homework! Hahahaha

  • @ameliaclayshulte7784
    @ameliaclayshulte77845 ай бұрын

    As an atheist, I came in skeptical, but no this guy is legit. Great advice for any parent regardless of faith or lack there of.

  • @jeffreybate1901
    @jeffreybate1901 Жыл бұрын

    I will be back Wednesday night, have a nice whole! Monday, Tuesday, And part of Wednesday off!

  • @SavannahMares
    @SavannahMares Жыл бұрын

    Thank You Jesus for this man 🥹🙏🏼☝🏼🫂😭

  • @papasangles
    @papasangles11 ай бұрын

    Thank you this really helped me lots 😊

  • @awestaguetherealtor1520
    @awestaguetherealtor15206 ай бұрын

    Great❤❤❤❤ ❤

  • @jd-um4jw
    @jd-um4jw Жыл бұрын

    This definitely depends on the kids maturity level. They are not all emotionally equipped by a certain age, to take on all choices. Their choices and actions, have guided me on what more I can hand over to them. Little at a time, as they show more and more maturity. I have had both. One, where they were given and could handle much responsibility and important life changing choices and another one, who is waay younger than their age. Emotionally and mentally, they are still a small child. Have had to take more baby steps.

  • @gentlenessandkindness2160

    @gentlenessandkindness2160

    Жыл бұрын

    Keys are to be patient and forgiving. Then just wait, you will see quick changes which seem overnight.

  • @sariahhayford3331

    @sariahhayford3331

    Жыл бұрын

    He definitely allows some flexibility for when you introduce different freedoms of choice.

  • @ameliaclayshulte7784
    @ameliaclayshulte77845 ай бұрын

    Adolescence is distinct from adulthood. Teens are still developing mentally, sexually, and physically. (How many fifteen-year-old boys are at their peak height and muscle mass?)

  • @liliabeer5362
    @liliabeer5362 Жыл бұрын

    My son is happy, too that I was strict or as he said, he'd be dead or in prison.

  • @consejosdemama6084
    @consejosdemama60845 ай бұрын

    What about going at it late😣 what about instead of starting at 12 we start at 16?

  • @Evixitygt
    @Evixitygt7 ай бұрын

    This does not always work.

  • @sueibrahim4189
    @sueibrahim4189 Жыл бұрын

    Gif ox.

  • @marcielizabeth7425
    @marcielizabeth74255 ай бұрын

    Where did the statistics come from? I have heard the "14 yo girls got married" trope for 30 years. That was RARE, not average.

  • @jeffreybate1901
    @jeffreybate1901 Жыл бұрын

    I heard Laura will talk about abortion, but I don't see it on site! I don't know how to spell her Last name!

  • @focusonthefamily

    @focusonthefamily

    Жыл бұрын

    Hi, Jeffrey. We think you might be talking about Laura Lynn Hughes. You can order a copy of the broadcast from our online store. bit.ly/3AHGn8q We have more abortion stories here: www.focusonthefamily.com/pro-life/abortion/abortion-stories/ We hope this helps. Blessings!

  • @jeffreybate1901

    @jeffreybate1901

    Жыл бұрын

    @@focusonthefamily your lineup for Canada, was something else For Wednesday and Thursday night! Should've changed it!

  • @sarkyfarky8679
    @sarkyfarky8679 Жыл бұрын

    Hmm - so you don't practise what you preach - your wife got TOLD what to do - "Stand up Sally" . . .

  • @manchesterunitedakamrtread8317
    @manchesterunitedakamrtread83173 ай бұрын

    I'm 45 and parents practiced dictatorship and it worked but it can't work within generation

  • @richarddoiron2222
    @richarddoiron2222 Жыл бұрын

    Now they might be adults oooooo 50 ish

  • @ogzaddy39
    @ogzaddy3910 ай бұрын

    I appreciate the explanation but I don't believe this teaching is in alignment with God's word! Why would I give my teenager permission to do something that's going to hurt them or possibly someone else ??

  • @berengereful
    @berengereful8 ай бұрын

    KZread 😂

  • @crystalwashington9280
    @crystalwashington9280Ай бұрын

    I agree with very little of this. Not helpful. We are to protect our kids from being conformed to this world. Scripture wasn't consulted.

  • @jazzi6021
    @jazzi6021 Жыл бұрын

    Their blood is on your hands

  • @Choclatcotton
    @Choclatcotton Жыл бұрын

    I think this is based on Caucasian culture

  • @korradog8714

    @korradog8714

    Жыл бұрын

    ?

  • @Neliii0

    @Neliii0

    11 ай бұрын

    Ong💀

  • @alexguerra1668

    @alexguerra1668

    10 ай бұрын

    May be worth listening to it a second time

  • @ogzaddy39
    @ogzaddy3910 ай бұрын

    What you're teaching is dangerous and contrary to what God's word says. Proverbs 22:6 says "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it!" Children don't know what's best for them, which is why we have to tell them and then hold them accountable. 🙏🏾🙌🏾