It's release day for Neil's long-awaited second book, THE FUTURE. Get your copy now: bit.ly/neilfuture

@erikahilton6775

5 жыл бұрын

You should come to this small town called Pullman Washington

"a brain is still a brain now matter how much cash is around it"

« My last birthday I was surrounded with people who loved me, and the loudest thought in my head was still: they wouldn’t even be sad if you died »..

@ashleyscool949

5 жыл бұрын

Alma Karim i related to that one so much.

@Sunshinemochi

5 жыл бұрын

And this genuinely wAS my last birthday

@imanimarshall8523

5 жыл бұрын

I felt that one

@kavya914

4 жыл бұрын

samee

@frozteal0002

4 жыл бұрын

@@Sunshinemochi hey... I hope you celebrated your this year's birthday.

Someone once told me, "You're pretty and smart, and talented. You don't have to pretend to be sad to get attention." That person isn't my friend anymore.

@mswalsh5797

6 жыл бұрын

cheska ara I really feel you...But I'm not sure, your reaction was right... Not everyone knows how depression is like... not everyone knows what "depressed" really means and you can't hate them for that. Of course it's a wrong and maybe disgusting answer of your friend, but you always have to see that this person in front of you doesn't know as much as you about depression. Sometimes forgiving and explaining is better...

@Mentoosful

4 жыл бұрын

I feel really sad that you had to hear such harsh thing ! Good thing you cut that person off!

@messinalyle4030

4 жыл бұрын

@@mswalsh5797 OP's former friend could have avoided phrasing her thoughts so insensitively and ascribing motives that they had no evidence were there, regardless of their ignorance of depression. It's called not shooting off at the mouth about things you don't understand. It's not that hard. And whether or not to forgive their former friend and whether or not to cut them out of their lives (which are actually two different things) are two very personal decisions which it is OP's prerogative to make for themselves.

@hannes1443

4 жыл бұрын

Can I turn that around? "You're pretty and smart, and talented. You shouldn't have to pretend to be happy to be loved."

@Themakeupchair15

4 жыл бұрын

@@mswalsh5797 but also care for yourslef and know what you dont need how can she be kind to those that are mean when she cant even be kind to herself

This is a written transcript of "You Can't Be Depressed " by Neil Hilborn. This is a public service, and I'm in no way claiming association with this artist, KZread video, or KZread channel. Forgive how long it is, but this is the way that I write the lyrics for my spoken word poetry music videos about mental health awareness and various other topics on my own KZread channel. Enjoy! 💓 "-Aaron Rodgers is on the field in Green Bay and tonight he is terrible. - He's 13 for 40 with 2 interceptions and no touchdowns for a QB rating of negative a billion, - Which is like if showed up on stage and did my entire set facing the wall and eating mayonnaise out of a jar. - Aaron Rogers, probably the best Quarterback to ever play the game, -Has those bags under his eyes that tell me he's been eating a lot of cold Mac and Cheese in bed with the lights off. - Aaron Rogers looks how I really feel when I say 'I'm doing great.' - Aaron Rogers makes $22 million a year, - And yet he still looks like his dog bit him after calling him a selfish person. - Aaron looks like he last slept in 2011, maybe, - And he's playing like he's thinking about how he needs to wash his sheets. - He's playing like, how he hasn't washed his sheets in 5 or 6 months. - He's playing like he'd wash his goddamned sheets if he could stop goddamned crying for one goddamned minute, - But maybe I'm reading too much into this. - I find myself saying out loud, 'How is he depressed? - He makes so much money and his life is perfect.' - That sounds like the last time someone said to me 'How are you sad when you have your dream job?' - Or, 'you get paid to do your art, and you're in perfect health, and you're engaged to someone who loves you, - You don't have any reason to be depressed.' - But there doesn't have to be a reason. - The brain is clay but the mold is persistent. - The brain is a shape, and you can only see the shadows. - The brain remains a brain no matter how much cash you stack around it. - My last birthday I was surrounded by people who loved me, - And the loudest thought in my head was still 'They wouldn't even be sad if you died.' - Aaron Rogers walks off the field in Green Bay and goes back to his dark house. - He won, but it doesn't feel like it. - He watches game tape until 3am and falls asleep on the couch. - His phone has 4 texts, - All of which say 'You played great today,' even though he didn't. - Everyone says 'Good game,' instead of 'How can I help?' - I'm gonna leave this stage, go to the green room, and then back to the hotel - Where the T.V. will finally show me homes I will never own. - People are smiling and having dinner parties while I fail to fall asleep. - The question isn't 'Why are you sad,' or 'How can I fix it?' - The question is 'Do you need a blanket?' - 'Can I get you some ginger ale?' -'What's your therapist's number?' - 'What kind of sandwich?' - 'Where does it hurt?' - 'What does the darkness want?' - 'Where is it quiet?' - 'How do we get there?' - 'How can I help?' " *If this was helpful I'd really appreciate it if you could check out my channel. 💙

@kammy2408

6 жыл бұрын

A.S. Minor Thank you so much. I am sure ppl with hearing impairment, English language learners and anyone struggling to understand appreciates this. Thank you!

@ASMinor

6 жыл бұрын

Camila López Casasbuenas Thanks so much! 💙💙

@kavya914

4 жыл бұрын

thankyou

@domiliwin7767

4 жыл бұрын

It really helped me, because I'm still learning english, so thank you very much ❤️

@zZMonttyZz

3 ай бұрын

"what does the darkness want" broke me but made me feel whole at the same time.

Poems like this make me feel less alone and less crazy. I’m so thankful for button poetry and poets like him.

@haidengeary8277

5 жыл бұрын

If you're not a bit crazy, you're not living. You are absolutely not alone. We are all with you.

@ann_the_neighborhood_bisexual

5 ай бұрын

I've watched this video so many times and it truly does make me feel like I'm not the only one who doesn't have a reason for being sad all the freaking time.

I'm a simple person, I see Neil, I click

@user-iw3yo6sf8c

6 жыл бұрын

Katarzyna Fydrych same 👏

@CozyWriter1307

6 жыл бұрын

Every time

@lovelale3686

6 жыл бұрын

Katarzyna Fydrych same

@SchmumpkinII

6 жыл бұрын

Same here :)

"Everyone says 'good game' instead of 'how can I help?'" The Aaron Rodgers example and Neil's own personal status drives home his point. No matter who you are or what you have, you're not invincible. It's terrible when you can't explain away depression or any level of sadness, but those emotions don't obey facts. We are all human. We all need someone beside us.

@howardbaxter4879

6 жыл бұрын

Sadly, we live in a world where people think that just because you have wealth or family or food or your dream job, you can't suffer from a mental illness. People need to realize that mental illnesses, like math, doesn't discriminate. Poor, rich, black, white, male, female, straight, gay, all people that suffer from mental illnesses will suffer in similar ways.

When people tell me: "You cant be depressed, you're always smiling." Let me explain something to you. People who have depression dont show the emotions they are feeling because of the fact that they are afraid of being a burden. They hide shit with every ounce in there body. They refuse social gatherings or even going to the store because of the fact that its to mentally exhausting. Cleaning our rooms is like winning the olympics for people who have deppression. Getting out of bed in the morning is a daily chore that we dont want to do. We tell ourselves just get throught he day or get up you lazy fuck , somedthing in between those lines. Some of us go to the extreme in making sure that we dont seem depressed, we wear makeup, we laugh and smile 24/7, we make sure we look beyond good because looking like the way we feel is to much to deal with is to risky for people to ask whats wrong? Some of us constantly pick dare when playing truth or dare because we are too afraid to let anyone know the truth. Some of us dont talk, we dont socialize, we dont play truth or dare because how can you play truth or dare when you dont have any friends. I remember my uncle telling me that robin williams had commited suicide because he was selfish and didnt care about anyone. I told him he was wrong, in fact it was the least selfish thing he thought he could do. He thought that leaving this world would make it better, would help others ,he saw himself as aburden, he saw the picture that he removed himself from and he saw it as better. That day i saw my uncle cry.. for the first time in my entire life. The next time tells you that deppression is nonexistent. Tell them that they are wrong we are just very good actors....

@markromero291

5 жыл бұрын

kaylee gleason I like this alot you explained it very well I like to write poems do you mind if I borrow that last line

@messinalyle4030

4 жыл бұрын

That must have felt so affirming that it affected your uncle so deeply when you described what Robin Williams really was going through. People actually do listen every once in a while. People actually are open to correction sometimes. A little bit of my hope in humanity just got restored.

@raizelcortez3219

2 жыл бұрын

This is very true. I also want to add this because I had no idea until recently: It's also very very possible to be happy, but also be depressed at the same time. I've struggled with depression since I was 5 (chemical imbalance as well as horrible situations, and trauma). It was a constant. The only thing I could rely on. The past year or so, I've been so happy. My life is so different now, and I'm actually experiencing genuine happiness (rather than it being synthetic, from drug use) for the first time in my entire life. But I kept noticing things that would make me say "I'm so happy. I'm obviously not depressed. I've never been so happy in my life!" Until I realized. Depression isn't a mood. I am happy, I love my fiance and my family and my friends. But yes I am still depressed.

i feel like so many ppl think it’s weird hat i’m depressed and it makes me feel like i have no right to feel that way. my friends say “so many ppl care about you how can u be sad” or “you have so much support and so many ppl to talk to how are u sad” and it pisses me off and makes push them away more bc i know deep down they think i shouldn’t feel that way.

@maryfuller1865

6 жыл бұрын

They might just be in denial. They probably just don't know what to do, or to say to you, (and the minds number one defense is denial). It could be hard for them to fathom that you feel that way because your life, even you yourself, seem fine on the surface. They're probably severely uneducated in the field of mental health. A lot of people have not the faintest idea because they don't have any experience with it themselves. I'm not saying this is the case. I simply don't want you to shove people you care about, and who care about you, away if things can be fixed. All that aside, I hope you can begin to heal and lead a happier life. If I can, then you can too.

@hopem6185

6 жыл бұрын

Saphire _Scotty oh wow thank you lots!! ❤️

@madisonmelott5872

6 жыл бұрын

Tell your friends it's like telling an asthmatic "Why do you have trouble breathing? There's plenty of air." I didn't come up with it, I just really like it. (Also: if you need someone who understands I like a band called Icon for Hire. They've really helped me).

@sweezy_inman

6 жыл бұрын

To play the devil’s advocate a bit, it might not be that they don’t think you have the right to feel that way - it might be that they just don’t want to see you like that anymore, which you can’t really blame them for that I don’t think! It’s all about their intention. Of course I don’t mean to generalize, some crowds really do just exist to bring a person down. I’d encourage you, though, not to resort to pushing them away. Most times it’s the harder route to keep yourself vulnerable with people, but it’s the route that ends up breaking you free of your depression. Facing it head on, not keeping yourself in the box. That’s where strength starts to grow. Hope this might give another perspective. :)

@user-we2vv4wv9h

5 жыл бұрын

Fighting! You have every right to feel the way you do, it's not a choice. I hope you're doing better, I believe in you.

"my last birthday i was surrounded by people who loved me and the loudest thought in my head was still 'they wouldn't even be sad if you died.'" this hit me hard because it reminded me of my last birthday, i was with most of my family in this cozy little cabin in lake tahoe, i was sitting at the head of the table and sharing a chair with my little cousin, who's 10 years old. everyone was singing happy birthday to me and the few other people who also had birthdays in the same month. when it was time for us to blow out the candles and make a wish, i searched my mind for wishes like "i just wish to make it through another year," but the only thing that came to my head was "i wish i didn't exist."

Where is it quiet and how can we get there? 😢

@kavya914

4 жыл бұрын

ikr

“Everyone says good game instead of how can I help” One of the most true metaphors and realities out there

0 dislikes speaks volumes about Neil and his poems. They hit hard and are so on point. The deep breaths he takes in between adds glitter to gold. Neil, thank you so much for saying this out loud. I hope someday I understand if I'm depressed or not.

When I first heard this at his live performance I went to it hit home so hard, listening to it again, it still sends shivers down my spine. Neil never fails to deliver

A few hours ago, someone told me "You have no reason to be depressed. Your life is great, you're loved, you're not the saddest person in history. Wake up and see that it is all fake, you have absolutely no reason to be depressed." And i thought maybe he is right, i don't have any reason, but i can't help feeling that way. Neil, you reminded me that it is okay if I don't have any reason, I feel less like a liar when i say i'm not okay and don't no why. But if they're saying it, maybe it's true..? Thank you so much for the poems, i really like discovering new artists and listening to the ones i already knew. Poetry is wonderful.

@dannybunchofnumbers

6 жыл бұрын

'you're not the saddest person in history' Just because you aren't the happiest person doesn't mean you can't just be happy. Sorry I am late.

this poem made me burst into tears because i felt exactly like that and no one was there to help me until now. not even my family eventho i've been crying for help.

How often we're told that our depression is misplaced. I once had someone ask me "What do you have to be anxious about?" followed by being presented with a list of things I had going well for me. Mind you, they were only trying to help. Education is key. Finding the courage to share our stories is key. Empathy is key. It's a tricky thing. Thanks for sharing.

I’ve felt, lived, and acknowledged this entire poem.

This is the first time I ever felt someone understands what goes through my mind.

@ButtonPoetry

Жыл бұрын

Wow! Thank you for sharing andI hope you can get more of the same. Much love.

Neil Holborn is my FAVORITE Poet, I relate to so many of his poems. Whenever I feel like I don't matter in this world I turn on one of his poems and I feel better

Almost halfway into this video I realized that I heard this poem live back in December and it’s crazy to hear the “final” version and how different it sounds from what I heard

I actually had a time in my life when I gathered the courage to tell my then bf that I was depressed. The first question shot at me was "why?". My best friend said the same thing. And I told both of them that there doesn't need to be a reason to be depressed. You just are. My friend got into her dream college but she was depressed. My mother was depressed after she got her promotion. My sister was depressed after she got that job she always wanted to get. You just are. Period.

I tried killing myself three days ago. On everything that i am and have, im currently sitting in my room crying writting my comment... it feels like no one around me gets it. Thank you, i wish Neil could see this comment, he gets it. He makes me understand that people do get it. How i love this man so much

@shandremouton4696

6 жыл бұрын

Your comment literally broke my heart, because I've been where you are just a few months ago. just know you're not alone and things will get better,just hold on a little longer

@peach6923

6 жыл бұрын

you're not alone

@elenarangel5238

6 жыл бұрын

Shandre Mouton Thank you 💕

@ryadaval

6 жыл бұрын

3 1 5 You're beautiful :)

@regentanz7364

6 жыл бұрын

Elena Rangel we are all here with you! 💙

The building intensity and desperation in his voice and movements add so much to this, it's a beautiful poem by itself but Neil brings it to life in so many ways! Bravo

Bursted out in tears watching this. Thank you I needed to hear it. Its nice to know I'm not alone in this feeling

This is a true art form to be able to reach out and connect with so many people. And thank you to all that write them.

I had the wondrous luck of seeing Neil live in February and he performed this poem saying that it was one of the new ones. It struck me hard that night. I’m glad it’s now out for everyone to see.

If you can see him live... DO IT. One of the VERY best shows I've ever seen!

Neil’s word’s and performances ALWAYS touch my soul. It’s like our lives our mirrored. This one hit me hard. Like, how hard is it for people to acknowledge your hurt?? Anyways, he is DEFINITELY one of my favorite poets. I say ONE OF because others like Rudy Francisco, and Hanif Abdurraqib are tied to 1st. Lol 💜💜💜

this will always be beautiful

Neil inspired me to write about my own mental health experiences. Saul Williams and Neil are my favourite wordsmiths. 👊🏾❤️

so much passion

Love this, especially the last bit

I heard this poem on his tour and I ADORE IT

I'm seeing him live tonight, so excited!

Neil is definitely one of my all time favorites!!

This is so powerful. I love this so much.

my favorite poet for a reason. never fails to make me cry.

This reminds of me of how I compare my struggles to others as if mine are not "bad enough." This reminds me of Kim Jonghyun of SHINee... it seemed as if he had the world at the palm of his hands, so many didn't realize how much you hurt.. I am sorry we didn't help you, we all knew. It must have been hard, no it was hard. Your really have gone through a lot. You worked so hard. You did well. Rest In Peace. P.S. thank you for this wonderful work of art.

@7ornever

6 жыл бұрын

Paola Hernandez it's completely possible to be depressed even when everything's going great and you really don't have any "reason" for it except the brain just is. But for jonghyun, I think it's more like the problems we don't see. A lot of idols are depressed and it's not really surprising that sm had (has?) a club full of them. They go through so much.

@springwillcome

6 жыл бұрын

My Home is JB's Fishtank yeah I understand that. But like this poem I'm tired of people asking what are depressed about? How can you be depressed when you are healthy and financially stable, when people have it much worse than you and wished they had your life? Depression can effect anyone.

@bryannacloutier4018

3 жыл бұрын

"Someone who drowns in 7 feet of water is still as dead as someone who drowned in 20 feet of water " your struggles may not have been as hard as some one else's, bit it's still just as valid

I pre-ordered his book 3 months ago. I’m so glad I finally got it!

Fuck man, this resonates too hard for me right now. There's nothing worse than feeling alone amongst loved ones and it's a whole other pain to finally work up the courage to reach out only to be ignored.

This made me weep.....I love his work and his work hits so hard in my face

“The brain is clay but the mold is persistent.”

Neil is one of my favorite poets but button poetry is what is keeping me going right now. I hope one of these days I can make it out to the show

This poem is so powerful. I almost cried in class about 20 times listening to this today because I listened to it about 30 times.

I've heard this the first time today, after writing my suicide note. Thank you so much for writing this, you seem to be the first person who understands, that there must not be a reason to feel the way I feel, that I don't need to have a childhood trauma or a life that doesn't look crappy. Thank you so much, seriously, this poem means a lot to me.

@leavemealone5520

3 жыл бұрын

Im glad your still here.

@khushbuluhar11

3 жыл бұрын

I hope you're doing good.

I'm glad that people are addressing these topics

To be honest, I thought I was fine watching this... until the end, when it was over, and I realized that every muscle in my body was tensed and there were tears streaming down my cheek. You did it again, Neil.

Seeing this performed in Atlanta was so powerful. Glad that I can re-experience it now. I think this title is better than “King Sadboi” for sure.

I love his poetry

I just started seeing your videos tonight. I WOULD BE SAD. No I'm not one of your kin or even a close friend. You have a message though and it has reached me because I deal with mental illness. At every turn in your poetry my muscles constrict with raw emotion of empathy (for lack of a better phrase at the moment). I wrote poetry when I was a teenager and you have given me something to possibly aspire to. Thank you.

Neil hilborn doesn't so much write poetry as he does pour his soul out onto a piece of paper with such intensity and compassion that it would jump up and read itself out loud

I had to play this at .75 speed to fully appreciate it.... goddammit, Neil. I just let your words break my heart slower.

"where does it hurt" I really felt that.

I think i'm depressed but i'm afraid to talk about it out loud in the presence of another person because then i would be acknowledging it, which would mean it is real. I shy away from talking about my feelings because I feel like I shouldn't be feeling them at all, my life is good and nothing should be making me sad but I can't escape the numbness. This is the most open I have ever been about this. This poem really hits home. I cannot be the only one.

When i listen to him, the end would never come and i would still be listning

this hit home

Just what I need. Bonus that it's from mi faveee 💖

I love this my own mother even asked me how i can be depressed while having such a loving family

an absolute artist wow

Omg, I really feel this 💖

This is so good

this is so important

I didn’t know I needed this until I heard it

“My last birthday- I was surrounded by people who loved me but my loudest thought in my head was they wouldn’t even be sad if you died.” Had my birthday last week, and I just saw this poem for the first time tonight. That line stopped me cold because that whole day- and it was a really good day- I had that same thought on replay

"Where is it quiet, and how do we get there?" -- I can't even count the times in my life when just hearing this from someone, anyone at all, would've really helped.

this is so relevant!

Instant tears

Excellent

On repeat💜

Chills.

The message in this poem resonates. Tell me when it stops, I bet it doesn't

this was AMAZING

I am right there, right now. And this poem just undid me...

Neil, you are the voice of my depression I don't need to apologize for having. Thank you

WOOOOOOOOO Neil you're incredible!

my father said i smile too much to be sad, wow that crushed me

“The question is..... what does the darkness want, where is it quiet, and how do we get there?” EXACTLY!!!

a friend sent me this and i really like it

I’ve been depressed since I was 9 and I really felt this

I missed you Neil!!

I can relate. I feel like I shouldn't feel so sad. But depression is still very real in my mind.

Neil is just perfection

I can't usually answer "how can I help?" A lot of the time, just sitting with me through the bad days means the most to me. There aren't magic words or answers, but knowing someone cares enough to stay with me, that I'm not alone, helps sometimes.

That was sooo deep

the 'where is it quiet and how do we get there?' part is the best line, imo.

So flipping relatable

Me, sobbing in bed: goDDAMN IT NEIL

the hair flip at the end was my fav

I find it interesting that the second after I get a notification that someone liked my comment on a video Button posted of Neil a month ago, I see that they have just posted another one today. Unrelated, but related to this video: I love the emphasis on breathing Neil seems to put into every performance of his poetry, it just adds to the impact the words have as I listen and I love it.

I'm watching the add and I already hit like

I'm shook 🔥🔥🔥🔥

This is very try because the first time I tried to open up to my friends about having theses sorts for persisting amount of time (its not diagnosed and so I’m not going to claim I have depression but just you know that somethings wrong)but then they ask me “have you gotten bullied,have your parents done anything to you,did anyone hurt you..” and no I haven’t but I still feel this way and their response was”how can you feel that way if there is no reason” and it made me feel bad and feel like it’s my fault I can’t control my mind.I started believe they were right but....their now.are they?

@lisapetriyot1913

6 жыл бұрын

they aren't

I LOVE NEIL

I cried on this one

I wish I could hug him.

Why can't I like this video more than once?!

I LOVE HIM

If I'm being honest I feel so bad when I tell my thoughts or feelings. I feel ashamed as such because people constantly tell me things like, "your so pretty." "Your so smart." "Your so skilled." "Your Amazing." "Your life is so perfect." But the biggest one is, "you can never understand my pain you have it easy, your life is perfect." Yet no one's seems to know the pressure I'm under to keep up this front. The pressure that makes me cry at night. The pressure that makes me belittle myself for the smallest of mistakes I make. Nor do they know my home life. How my room is a constant mess, how I'm falling further and further behind on dishes. The acholic step dad my mom says she will get rid of yet keeps bringing back to the house. Telling me, " it's for the little ones I don't want them loose their dad." What about the first two though huh. I go to bed depressed and stressed from anything going on and I can't even tell anyone because they all think I'm this perfect person one who can never feel as though I do. (I'm sorry for venting on here but if you read all of this thank you. I just needed a place to get it out)