"It's not personal, because you're not a person to them" Okay, gotcha.. feel better knowing this moving forward. Thanks Shaman

@undercoverbird8592

Жыл бұрын

It’s true. You are not a person. You have no feelings- only their feelings matter. Period. Bye bye. ❤

@maIwaldron

Жыл бұрын

@@CHS603 Squint your eyes and try real hard

@nycstarport8542

Жыл бұрын

@undercoverbird8592 Your reply is soo True!!

Anyone ever look back and realize they were actually losers? I’m realizing I was the cool one, the interesting one and the one that always kept the conversation going. It’s like they weren’t even there. Damn, what did I even see in him?? Lol

@Ab.eNormal

Жыл бұрын

He probably mirrored(unhealthy) all of your awesome qualities. They do that, pretend they are and like everything you do, or will be what you need or want, but at the cost being fuel for them. Glad you got out, Keep thriving!

@thelittleshamanhealing

Жыл бұрын

Good share. Yes, this experience is extremely common. They really are 2 dimensional, like a character in a TV show.

@kelseymfoster

Жыл бұрын

Yep!! I finally getting to the point where he just feels like a gross sticky blob of tar. Constantly complaining like a grumpy baby. It’s almost comical. He would be a baby and then look at me and say am I just such a baby and a bummer to be around??? and I would stupidly say no you’re not, it’s okay I love you! Blah. Gross. There are are actually kind and decent humans out there that can care about others!! Believe it!

@beth8275

Жыл бұрын

Yes, they are losers. No depth, no values, no integrity, no real fixed opinions. Their conversation revolves around gossiping about others and projecting all of their negative qualities on to others.

@user-qh4qk7kv4u

Ай бұрын

Yes, no personality is whatsoever….after the mirroring…

The closest thing I can think of is a shoplifter who steals and thinks it's no big deal because it's a faceless victim due to the victim being a big store.

They mimic and copy their victim. They want their target to see themselves as a fraud and a liar.

Educate the kids. Break the chain. I’m doing it! ❤

@lindanorris2455

Ай бұрын

no leave the kids alone! thye need to be kids not learning about Narcs. !

@lorrainem8234

8 күн бұрын

Same here, and it's paying off. My son is 15, and listening to shorter videos like these and discussing them as we listen has helped him so much! It has helped him understand the behaviors of so many people. Each time we listen to and discuss one of these videos, he has more peace and more confidence in his interactions with others; otherwise, this psychopathic behavior is confusing and can lead to the recipient (like my son) mistakenly thinking that he or she is the cause of it this behavior.

Turn away from Narcissists, as written EVEN in the Bible. 2 Timothy chapter 3: But know this, that in the last days critical times hard to deal with will be here. For men will be: 1. lovers of themselves, 2. lovers of money, 3. self-assuming, 4. haughty, 5. blasphemers, 6. disobedient to parents, 7. unthankful, 8. disloyal, 9. having no natural affection, 10. not open to any agreement, 11. slanderers, 12. without self-control, 13. fierce, without love of goodness, 14. betrayers, 15. headstrong, 16. puffed up [with pride], 17. lovers of pleasures rather than lovers of God, 18. having a form of godly devotion but proving false to its power; and from these TURN AWAY.

@sarahsj8109

Жыл бұрын

6. Disobedience to parents. But my mother is the narcissist. And she was never disobedient to her narc father. 13 & 15 i don't see why these are bad traits. You need these traits to go no contact. A lot of these the narc would call me: disloyal, self-assuming, betrayer, unthankful.

@jimmymatt6228

Жыл бұрын

@@sarahsj8109 There's a part in the Bible that also says, "do not anger your children!" My mom would say the same thing as yours about as the scapegoat. But at 49 years old I've lived 2300 miles away for two decades now and I'm just not up that affected by the family of origin of having their little smear campaign. I'm pretty much no contact with my siblings for life now and it's so much better this way. The Bible has people like us cover because it says do not anger you told them right after that do not dishonor your parents part. The fact the Bible and Nam Bible places do not endorse taking crap from parents or anyone as a good virtue exactly! Quite a few characters in The Bible had to basically leave their family of origin with support from the Lord above anyways

Organic Portals, Soulless Beings, Background people, NPC's, Highly Programmable beings..... They differ from us in ways that blow the mind!!!!!

You matter less than their favorite shirt… so true!!!! My husband hoards stupid things that he values so much, while I am totally meaningless. Sister Sin, you are truly amazing!!!

@ravenmeyer3740

Жыл бұрын

My covert narcissist has been losing my heart for a long time. He didn’t fit the classic patterns. However, in adding it all up, take, take, take, unkept promises, time limits with me, not listening to anything I said, all conversations centered on him, not watching 3 minute videos I wanted to share with him, but he would send me videos to watch, not wanting to look at a few photos of friends, but wants to share photos of himself and his family, not responding to texts, busy, busy, busy. Used to say he missed you, used to say he would be happy to help, but was never really there, makes it clear that you are not to be a burden. Loves to be called baby boy. Well, for some reason, in one day after he left, I felt nothing. I still feel nothing. He calls, and I wonder why. It took forever for that mask to totally come off. I’m not hurt by it. So what’s to love?

@Anna-eu8px

Жыл бұрын

@@ravenmeyer3740 I’m so sorry to hear this, but your heart knows best, and when you do mourn, it will be for your ‘wasted time’ and maybe crushed dreams. Those are surmountable and you will be a wiser person for it. To quote ‘Women of Impact’: you are not asking for too much, you are asking the wrong person’. 💐

@SuzyBee-zs9hb

Ай бұрын

Chris Watts was more interested in what shirt he was wearing and commenting on it than the family he had just murdered.

Even though I know this intellectually, it's so hard to understand. I spent 22 yrs married to a narc, an entire lifetime, and at no point did I matter to him, nor will I ever. I had 4 children for and was in a relationship with someone who never existed and who never cared about me an ounce. It's so hard to fully grasp this. It's such a cruel & painful truth. Broken. 💔

@Anna-eu8px

Жыл бұрын

You are not alone, and try not to compound the damage. This universe is a complex and mysterious place, and we just have to accept it and move on. I’m 36 years and 3 kids into this as well. At least we are free to choose our destinies. Good luck and I hope you find deserved happiness!!!

@denisedevoto5703

Жыл бұрын

So sorry. Much love to you and your children.

@Anna-eu8px

Жыл бұрын

@@denisedevoto5703 ❤️❤️

@Kissthebottle68

Жыл бұрын

Wait till you’re healed . You’ll be an absolute beast ( in a good way ) . The narc will still be a broken sad pathetic subhuman .

@paulothx138

Жыл бұрын

Jesus, i don't know what to say but i hope you reset your life and become a happier person pursuing your dreams, may God help your journey.

My husband has narcissistic traits, and I admit I'm emotionally drained after 4 years of marriage. I've come to the realization that my husband married me so that he doesn't have to be alone--I'm an object in the house, not someone he wants to grow with nor connect deeply with. Although we're in couples therapy right now, I know he won't change--this is all a show. I'm now in it for the motion and to ensure that my children at least have one emotionally available parent (and finances).

@MRS4MYKidz

Жыл бұрын

Be very careful with saying why you’re in it. Subconsciously you’re telling yourself that you and your children aren’t worth of true love and that you need someone who doesn’t care/love you guys to provide financially. This is not the truth love. You are worthy of love and a husband who loves you/your children truly and sincerely and wants to build(emotionally,mentally,physically, and financially) with you. I say this because I wasted 27 years with a narc husband and in the end, it was me and the children that LOST! Yes he was terrible but ultimately it was ME who CHOSE(excuses) to stay and endure the toxicity because I was to weak to put my big girl panties on and CHOOSE ME AND MY CHILDREN over someone who clearly CHOSE HIMSELF DAILY. I send you love, light, and strength to see the truth clearly, although I don’t know you, I’m rooting for you sis💙💙

@cr3062

Жыл бұрын

That's exactly why they get married, at least one main reason, so they don't have to be alone. They don't care who it is.

@Electric-Bird-Set-Free

Жыл бұрын

Same here😢

This is 100% spot on and exactly what leaves the partner of a narcissistic person sooo confused. It's so hard to fathom someone having no feelings. I used to think he was just ashamed, but it was zero feelings. A complete mind f***

I first saw this when my Dad was terminally ill and our mother literally discarded him before he passed away. It was my wake up call. It didn’t matter how many times I explained how his illness prevented him from serving her needs, she continued to call him lazy. What a sad state of affairs for her as she has alienated all of her family. She’s done a lot of damage over the years and now she is alone.

@transitionsnc

Жыл бұрын

I'm so sorry for your loss.

yes I've mostly been a punching bag and a mirror for family members to dump their toxicity onto. I realized yesterday there's no hope of getting through, i've been trying for 56 years now and it got really obvious in a very nasty conversation that I can't. They don't see me as i am they see me as they are. My brother literally kept me in his life (while projecting all kinds of nasty stuff onto me that confused me to no end and made me question myself for the longest time) to be a babysitter, until his kids didn't need babysitting anymore and that was THE END. I was discarded and then had the most malicious smear campaign waged against me, to the point I've been utterly isolated for 6 years, to then have it suggested to me yesterday I was going to be disowned, but with an obvious attempt to keep me in a position of grovelling, most likely only to find myself "living in poverty" after my parent dies. They even plan to use you as a punching bag and hurt you after they're dead. Like doing it for decades while they are alive doesn't satisfy them. They ARE evil, if you define evil as lack of conscience and insight/soul. They are. you have to be, to overpower and assault a small human you brought into the world, then blame them for your abuse, and plan to hurt them even from the grave.

@NiceMan-mi5po

Жыл бұрын

Your strength is in your capacity to find truly strong connections and to not repeat this abuse on others.

@sheilajac

Жыл бұрын

@@NiceMan-mi5po well i didnt have kids because i didnt want to repeat whatever it was. now that i know what it was, its far too late and probably too late to make new, strong connections too. i dont trust anyone at this point, the smear campaign was very effective. and broad.

@NiceMan-mi5po

Жыл бұрын

@@sheilajac I am really sorry to hear that. I hope you know that when you decide to not try with people, it closes any possibility to connect with anyone. I do not recommend this.

@sheilajac

Жыл бұрын

@@NiceMan-mi5po it's a bit more complicated than "people". I've been trying to connect but it's difficult when there's proxy stalking involved (including MANY fake social media profiles/stalking on social media which is the only way i have to connect through winter) and being completely depleted in pretty much every possible way, from years of it. It's as if people i talk to aren't themselves. Even my dad, seems to be 2 different people on different occasions and those 2 different "personalities" he seems to embody, are in opposition. Gives me contradictory "advice" or suggestions, for example. repeatedly. It's game-playing, with my intuition, my perceptions. Talked to a pastor last week and he confirmed I am being spiritually attacked (I am not religious, i went out of desperation) He wasn't sure about other things i told him, but I am. and just fyi, i am not suffering a break with reality, my mental health is/was solid (though i have been smeared as being pretty much every PD/mental illness there is) but slowly that's going down the tubes too. Hard to explain, even more difficult to be believed.

@NiceMan-mi5po

Жыл бұрын

@@sheilajac Yeah there has been a lot of gaslighting through virtue signaling in the last little while. I talk about this on my podcast the nature of these spiritual attacks. The source is government. It is a NPD sculpting religion and always will be. And they encourage the mockery and ostracizement of any dissidents to their campaigns. I would stay away from that pastor. He/She could be the vampire in sheeps clothing. Also I am sorry to hear that you have been so lonely this winter. May spring perhaps bloom some new relationship. Even one with yourself.

I recommend listening to this a few times. It’s loaded! I’m learning something else each time I listen.

I may need to re-listen. But, for me, a lot of what you speak of, like power, tell me why narcissism often increases with age. When you add to it, possibly lesser physical and/or mental ability, increased invisibility and a number of other issues I’ve seen, it is why I’ve found that, although society, when in a benevolent mood, like talk about being empathetic towards the elderly, it’s often something you will not see coming from the narcissistic elderly. This creates quite a quagmire. Because you might be pushed and coerced into showing someone an abundance of empathy, that has absolutely none for you - and they ain’t got dementia. They may just be the wrinkled, physically-diminished version of an absolute monster, instead. Helping them is, perhaps, like trying to help an angler fish, where you’ve simply been lured in, by societal protocols and the narcissist themselves - being quite aware of these societal protocols. That why I mentioned in the past that some CANNOT WAIT, to be elderly, in some ways. Although they may not actually like their dependence on others, they will use their age and all of the physical attributes that may go along with it, to snatch someone in and torture them, while the world pays their victim on the head and demands they “get back in there”.

@privateprivate8366

Жыл бұрын

I’ll also say that going through probate war,’with my younger sister now, while I refrained from calling her narcissistic, because I knew she just plain didn’t know what happened between my mother and I, I feel I stand corrected. I am dealing with someone who is so calloused over with so many narcissistic traits, she’s pretty much made it clear she doesn’t even need to respect the judge’s rulings. As the legal system is often narcissistic, in it’s own right, it’s quite possible I will lose quite a bit in this case. This is the second time I’ve found that, in law, it is based upon 2 litigants agreeing. So, they may even hope that the plaintiff agrees to be punched in the nose by the defendant. As far as they’re concerned, it would be case closed.

Watch their eyes as you say, a deer in headlights. Whew!!!!!!!!!!!

@thelittleshamanhealing

Жыл бұрын

Yep, that's the best description.

Many times my ex-partner told me "I have never wanted something so much". "Something" and not "someone" (he was talking to and about me then). At the time, my body/intuition sent me red flashing lights, but I chose to ignore it. To me, it was too shocking to be true. Despite correcting him several times and telling him I am not "something" but "someone", he kept using the exact same word again and again in the very same phrase. Listening to this video and looking back, I now understand the "something" was not me as a person but whatever he got from me - good feelings, validation, empathy... It hurts so much to hear this but it makes sense now looking back. Thank you Little Shaman for a very insightful video as usual :)

@thelittleshamanhealing

Жыл бұрын

You're very welcome, and I'm grateful to help. I just sometimes wish I didn't always have to say such hurtful things. It helps to remember that it's better and actually LESS hurtful in the end for people to know the reality of the situation.

@transitionsnc

Жыл бұрын

@@thelittleshamanhealing I benefit from your videos because you don't sugarcoat the truth. You're very straightforward and that is helpful. Thank you.

@Electric-Bird-Set-Free

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for your comment… I really need to remember this, to pay attention to the little details of language and word choice.

@user-eu3qy8uf7f

3 ай бұрын

This is,so true. The repitition is mind blowing. I've had several,conversations with narcissistic family members about certain behavior. They'll not in agreement or understanding. Voila. Case closed right? Wrong!!! A week, a months, 6 months or even longer they will come right back out with the same thing. Funny that. I just got bored with them . I was surprised because I expected anger, rage, slapping the hell out of them or worse. But they are literally rats in a lab going round and round on the same wheel. One ex friend tripped herself up one day,when she admitted she only called me to talk about "her problems. Aha. The lightning flash hit and I realized the "friendship was me being a dumping ground for her to unload💩-hers. The woman never bought even a cup of coffee in 20 years. Told her good bye, good riddance and go USE someone else. And I was cold as an iceberg when I did it because I consciously mirrored her back to herself.

Narcissists being dissociated from their own emotions can take comical forms. My narc ex is involved in certain things and that is why she has given interviews to newspapers etc. She continuously states that she dislikes certain things and certain people because they are so emotional and she herself is so unemotional and factual/rational. In reality, nothing could be further from the truth. Being in a relationship with her became absolutely unbearable because of her over-emotionality: she could go from a zero to a thousand in a matter of seconds, had EXTREME mood swings from mania to near su**ide despair, had ZERO impulse control and a raving eating disorder (which had wrecked her health), and often did a complete 180 on very serious matters of opinion (said that she agreed on a certain matter and then take all of her words back and state something completely different, often at least once a day, sometimes twice). She also had extreme anger issues and took it all on me. All of this made her totally unpredictable and absolutely unbearable. So in reality she was not unemotional or factual, she was emotional to the extreme. Talk about denial.

@Star-dj1kw

Жыл бұрын

Sounds like BPD

@jimmymatt6228

Жыл бұрын

I knew someone like this who would do a 180 on certain opinions too and it was very very laughable. Pretty ironic for someone who goes around calling people fools, who can't even keep their false presentation up!

@jimmymatt6228

Жыл бұрын

Projectionist is such a typical trait of a narcissist. If I find myself missing someone who is a narc, all I need to do is remember some of their classic projection from the past! It doesn't hurt me as much as I'm uses me that someone is either choosing not to see me as I am or are rewriting me for their false narrative script of fantasy transparently

Wow!! Your Insight and knowledge never ceases to amaze me. The only way you can gain this much wisdom is by experiencing these type of people and holding on to your sanity enough to tell the war stories. Salute survivor!!!

You just described my Family.

I knew I didn't get it all when I began to kick the narc professional to the curb. Most are one hit wonders, the best ones reveal how to move on and then they go onto say how to destroy the narc in 5 moves! I appreciate Little Shaman because I find humor in what was so frustrating I didn't know if I could keep it up. I'm glad I went one more video to find this hidden gem. This is the key to surviving. Keeping this level of wisdom and you may actually learn to be around them and not become the easy target. I have to have a job this is unreal now.

Reminded me of my Dad's almost daily phrase: "ask me if I care". People were too afraid to point out his cruelty in my patriarchal society of birth.

Please post more videos! Little Shaman = Genius.

I don't know if it makes sense to say they don't know other people have feelings, when they thrive so much on hurting other people's feelings. They sure do seem to know how to do it. Ok nevermind, you just answered it right after I posted it. Knew I could trust you to know what you're talking about, you always do.

@thelittleshamanhealing

Жыл бұрын

Yep, that's one of the more difficult things to understand about this, but hopefully this podcast addresses how that can be. EDIT: LOL no problem. I'm glad that you found it helpful.

@sheilajac

Жыл бұрын

re feelings, my mom, when i was maybe 4 or even younger, i either remember from memory or from her telling the story, that i told her she had hurt my feelings to which she replied (sadistically/tauntingly) "where are your feelings if i hurt them?" and i guess I said I didn't know, and she said "well how do you know i hurt them if you don't know where they are"? and i pointed at my throat, which had a lump in it, and said that was where my feelings were. I am sure I didn't get an apology or a hug or anything, because she couldn't even apologize for a pretty violent assault when i was 7-ish, 45 years later. Said i deserved it. That was the last real conversation we had. I asked if she was sorry, because i was beginning to realize she was a N, and that pretty much confirmed it for me. Not a single sorry, no "I love you's" - ever in my life. I gave her a hug the day before she went into hospice and told her i loved her and she didn't even respond that she loved me back, then. So freaking painful.

@HeyMykee

Жыл бұрын

@@sheilajac I started researching narcissism the day after my mom died in hospice. I told her I loved her and she laughed and said "Really? I doubt it." My sister and I were talking afterwards and she told me to look up narcissism.

@sheilajac

Жыл бұрын

@@HeyMykee i had a similar covo w/my dad yesterday. i tried warning him it wasn't a good idea to give my brother sole power of attorney and sole executorship (a sudden change to his will 2 years ago was nothing if not suspicious) aside from the fact it gives my abusive brother control over both of us, i said he'd pull the plug on him in a heartbeat and he said: "you'd do that" and i just gave up, because it's clear he doesn't know who i am at all. Then went on to threaten to disown me, in a really sadistic way. to boot. He probably already has. He's been using me as a tax writeoff for over a decades, listing me as a dependent, I will worry about that if/when it happens and get a lawyer, if i outlive him, or if he becomes mentally incompetent as i suspect my brother plans to have that done at some point. Probably sooner rather than later. He wasn't always so hateful - he's always been controlling, but the hateful thing is new and something else. It's pointless - he's either utterly brainwashed or lost his mind. Of course, I realized at some point that my mom had been lying about me all my life, to him and her friends, etc via projection. She called me vain and morbid when i was 4 years old. When i realized she was a narc, i also realized those were projections! sigh. Hugs to you.

Ouch.The truth is never quite as soft as the delusion. Im going to listen a few more times since Ive mistakenly told myself the delusion that I would be able to love him enough to open up a "misunderstood" guys tough walls into crashing down. I thought there Must be hope. He looks like a complete flesh and blood adult human. This was the lie I created to justify so much. Thank you for not feeding me the same spoon full of crap I have been feeding myself.

This is just so crystal clear spot on right now. I am sooo appreciative of how you can state these facts so simply and clearly for my brain when it is ready to see the light. It's been the best clarification. I've been working on the things that keep my veil down so it can be lifted. And then your information is what helps me actually understand and disentangle from the web, once I'm ready to receive it. Thank you for your diligence in this work.

my brother's wife had to google "how to feel remorse" when she got caught cheating on him. . .

@burnthepalo9416

Жыл бұрын

😮

I wondered for the longest time how my previous boss (and quite a few bosses I've worked with) will be indifferent to or flex their power by overworking employees. It makes little sense to burn out good, highly technically skilled employees when the replacement cost alone should be a deterrent. It matches both their indifference to your existence and their short-sighted reward seeking (I'm also assuming pain avoiding) behavior to do it.

Great "no bullshit, to the point" video, thank you. 👍🏻

This is,so true. The repitition is mind blowing. I've had several,conversations with narcissistic family members about certain behavior. They'll not in agreement or understanding. Voila. Case closed right? Wrong!!! A week, a months, 6 months or even longer they will come right back out with the same thing. Funny that. I just got bored with them . I was surprised because I expected anger, rage, slapping the hell out of them or worse. But they are literally rats in a lab going round and round on the same wheel. One ex friend tripped herself up one day,when she admitted she only called me to talk about "her problems. Aha. The lightning flash hit and I realized the "friendship was me being a dumping ground for her to unload💩-hers. The woman never bought even a cup of coffee in 20 years. Told her good bye, good riddance and go USE someone else. And I was cold as an iceberg when I did it because I consciously mirrored her back to herself.

Again a very thorough succinct encapsulation of the narcissist anatomy… thank you and bless you for your gift!

It’s so crazy. So many circular arguments and I would end up saying, I’m a person, I’m just a person. I had no idea why I was saying that at the time and now I do. So sad.

You are an object, an appliance. If you work for them and how they think it should, fine they’ll keep using it because it works. But people aren’t appliances so at some point they’ll stick you back in the cupboard because you don’t work/didn’t work how they wanted you to. If in the future they pull you out and you still don’t work then out you go with the rubbish.

and if we do not do what they want when they want it, they say that THEY are the ones who do not matter to US! (at least the covert ones do)

Perfect description.

7:00 I think I'm about finally on board with your theory that "we matter less than a shirt that they put on." The sweet/mean cycle had me fooled for a while and also gave me false hope. Hope dies last, and I'm glad it's finally dead within me for those types

@gerardschannel4461

2 ай бұрын

That's and interesting point you make about how the sweet mean cycle keeps people fooled. I had the insight that yes that was true for my relationship with a narc / ex wife too. Its a very easy way for the narc to make it seem as if they are really involved and in touch with the 'relationship' and that they are sensitive to all the ups and downs each day that the 'relationship' throws up. But in fact they are just following a play book that has worked brilliantly for them in the past, where the victim is thrown off the scent in that there is in fact no 'relationship' whatsoever and the Narc is simply operating in full auto mode.

Thank you! Each new level of comprehension regarding the deep pain and suffering I went through helps me to heal that much deeper! God bless you for continuing to upload these!

For some, yes, evil is a very accurate description.

My mother and my sister 😢

YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD RIGHT THERE SISTA SHAMAN!!! SO TRUE! ♥️💯💥

Yes thenarc I was with was always trying to get reactions from me

@jimmymatt6228

Жыл бұрын

It gets exhausting almost time to grey-rock all the time and not give them the reaction of shooting for. I'm so glad that's in the recent past for me and it's very good to hear that it's in your rearview mirror to. (Life is too short for that nonsense!)

Thank you'

Merci pour votre clairvoyance. A travers le cauchemard s'échapper de l'illusion. Le phénomène narcissique est finalement une programmation de la société de consommation ayant un impact dans nos relations au quotidien. A celui qui a plus lui sera donné. A celui qui n'a pas on lui retirera même ce qu'il croit avoir. Narcissist from all over the world... your time is short...On récolte ce que l'on sème. Merci Little Shaman ❤

Whenever you get the chance, can you please do a video on dog whistle tactic narcissistic people use sly in front of people? Great informative video as always.👏👏💛

@Anna-eu8px

Жыл бұрын

This happened to me too, so spooky! My sister in law did it to me, after she researched my life and then started mentioning old boyfriends names. She knew only I could hear that dig. It’s actually a trait of psychopaths more than narcissists. My sister in law is dark triad in my opinion. When you hear dog whistling, run!!!

@jimmymatt6228

Жыл бұрын

@@Anna-eu8px I have a former male friend that I just discarded who loved to basically bring up old ex-girlfriend problems that were well in the past for me as if it were some secret shaming tactic. (We weren't doing it in front of other people because we just hung out one on together, but it became evident that they were very likely a flying monkey for my toxic origin or at the very least getting amusement out of this whole dog whistling thing at me. Eventually that another toxic behaviors lead to me having enough proof to basically give them the virtual death penalty in terms of having any access to my life or any influence any longer

@Anna-eu8px

Жыл бұрын

@@jimmymatt6228 boundaries mean ditching those passive aggressive monkeys!! 💪

@jimmymatt6228

Жыл бұрын

@@Anna-eu8px 6 years ago I had another friend opine that the narc I recently discarded without warning or even ever was not just a mere narcissist but a "psychopath" in response to me telling them years ago about how this FORMER NARC FRIEND would gleefully laugh at others misfortunes they overheard (whether they be neighbors or his friends or whoever.). I think it's good you mentioned the dark triad thing going on with your sister-in-law because, for lots of us it's the last thing we want to admit. At first they put on their nice facem But eventually the cracks come through the mask. LAST BUT NOT LEAST, I'm glad that you remind me that I DID assert a boundary permanently. As the adage goes, boundaries are about controlling how other people behave, but more about controlling what you will or will not tolerate from people anymore! PS--so glad you say that "ditching the passive-aggressive flying monkeys" are the right thing to do! I wish I had an excuse to keep the friendship, but I just couldn't take the death by paper-cuts scenario with the occasional overtly cheap shot instance any longer

You are so on point and accurate, it is scary. Every word in every video resonates.

Excellent Information!

Excellent 👍🏽

100% true, I've looked in the eyes...nothing...like children till age 12...but kids grow up...they don't... imagine living like that...terrible punishment...

Agree, agree, agree. And someone who has not lived with a narc(especially a covert narc) for years and years cannot even begin to understand what a narc is. Even then you need a therapist to REALLY understand who you are dealing with.

That's exactly how I felt with one of them - only as an object despite him trying to use phrases like "I like you as a person" the first few days of meeting me and without actually knowing or attempting to know me as a real person. It was all about his needs and wants. Like you correctly specified in your other video - they really play their own games with themselves and then accuse you of doing it ( projection ), it is not even that they play those mind games with you but rather with themselves trying to get their own needs met in the process.

Extremely powerful and very very well said. thank you!!

Brilliant! Ur clarity is such a blessing thank u 🙏🏾

Your videos are so spot on. Thank you.

Be strong enough to be honest and kind Then may peace be with you a marvel gaze

Sharmin we need more of ur vids.Big up

Informative video.....clearer explanation. Thank you!

Good work 👏 ❤

It's a 'business deal'.

You are always excellent 👍

You have help me so much with your context I view your work very often

👍🏼👍🏼 excellent video

I feel your pain because am living it right now! It's so crazy that it makes you crazy!

Catching a child with chocolate smeared all over their face and hands, snap a picture, and they may still deny it.

Thanks

Excellent Podcast❤

@thelittleshamanhealing

Ай бұрын

Thank you!

BOOM-shaka-laka-laka 🎯

A friend of mine was dating a narcissist for about a year. Long story short she broke up with him when she realised what she was was dealing with, how selfish he was, treating her badly and using her, taking and taking and stringing her along not making any real commitment. Shortly after they broke up someone told my friend how he was posting loads of self pitying posts on facebook saying things like "I'd rather be alone than be with someone who makes me feel alone" even though in reality my friend had put aside everything, her own wants, needs, even her feelings to make him happy. I said to my friend imagine if someone said to him " what about if the person you're with feels alone?" I said he would would likely just look at them like a deer caught in headlights and the question just would not compute lol

@cyndigooch1162

Жыл бұрын

Ali Ross That's exactly right because it's ALL about them, so people might as well be living with a cardboard cut-out. 😥

@aliross2720

Жыл бұрын

@@cyndigooch1162 Exactly you are completely objectified and dehumanized. My friend was left feeling completely worthless. Luckily I'd been through the same same thing once and had educated myself on pathological narcissism so I was able to support her through her recovery. I kept reminding her that the way she was treated was not a reflection of her or her worth but the person who had treated her that way. It's harder to see it clearly when you first come out these relationships when you're in pain but she can see it much more clearly now. Learning not to personalize other peoples behaviour and how they treat you is such a valuable lesson to learn.

Little shaman is fine af ❤🤦🏾‍♂️🤷🏾‍♂️ sorry she is!!!

OUCH

👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

So I’ve been in a relationship for 20 years w the mother of my kids. And i recently had an awakening and I realize our relationship was narcissistic. I don’t think it’s all her fault I think I was narcissistic and playing into all the games. Now if I can snap out of it why can’t she?

I know this is probably been a question that’s been asked a lot but is it normal to question whether you are the narcissist or not if you’re absolutely positive you that you’ve been subjected to narcissistic abuse?

@HzFvr

Жыл бұрын

Absolutely normal. Know that just by even wondering if you are, shows you are NOT. A narcissist would not wonder or even consider it. Keep listening to the Little Shaman and her playlist, she is excellent.

@BlakeLight722

Жыл бұрын

@@HzFvr thank you so much you have no idea what a relief that is I keep going in and out of that kinda feeling because I listen to little shaman or are the people and I deliberately reflect on if that’s me or not, and I feel guilty like it might be, and I feel bad

@HzFvr

Жыл бұрын

@@BlakeLight722 🌹Another great channel is Surviving Narcissism. He's been a great help to me also 👍

@BlakeLight722

Жыл бұрын

@@HzFvr thank you so much 🙏✨💙

@BlakeLight722

Жыл бұрын

@Doppelgänger thank you so much. I have often tried to assess myself for these fleas, so I’m constantly analysing or over analysing my own behaviour because I just see the behaviour in them and I don’t want anything to do with it so I don’t want to be like that! Thank you for the reference I’m gonna look at that A.S.A.P. 🙏✨✌️

Do they have the intelligence to grasp the concept of a limited recourse? Hammers can get scarce and expensive, especially in this economy.