I find that I’ve been an “opinion bully” not as a narcissist but more as a disregulated trait. I believed that I was “helping” or “educating”. Now that I’ve started to work on myself I see that my behavior is very inappropriate. I’m working on this issue as I hadn’t stopped to care that it really changed the vibe and left people feeling drained and that it’s actually controlling and arrogant on my part. It touches on some anger I have Im sure. I think I’ll have to write this stuff down in order to not be so intense with opinions and being pushy about it. I thought I was getting a handle on it but I see it is like a muscle and I have to keep working on it. Apologies to those folks whose vibes I’ve affected.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

11 ай бұрын

That is really great self-reflection. Thank you for sharing! Dysregulation can lead to us acting in ways that are ... socially sub-optimal. :) If you like Anna's approach, you may enjoy the Daily Practice, too. bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Julie@TeamFairy

@Halfsteppin1

10 ай бұрын

❤

@kathleenphillips6445

8 ай бұрын

Me too. Insufferable know-it-all. Thanks.

@Ctruong88

6 ай бұрын

OMG You just describe me 100% haha

@GrnEyedFirecrkr

5 ай бұрын

Incredible self-reflection and self-criticism. We can't change unless we acknowledge the behavior, so kudos to you for even getting to this step! I believe some people never get here. And thank you for sharing.

I’m SO glad you debunked the whole “If you think you might be a narcissist you’re not” thing…. Like it seriously helps to wrestle with yourself instead of fallback on a platitude that convinces you that thought alone is sufficient to create positive changes in your relationships…

@brinta19

Жыл бұрын

“Probably not “ she said. Don’t forget the probably. Greater Narcs will always know they Are. And even the other levels will surely have to wonder sometimes, I would think.

@CB19087

Жыл бұрын

I just watched another video about toxic shame and the woman in that was talking about cptsd and how a false self develops in order to hide the core identity which feels worthless. Sounded very similar to NPD. It's all very interesting isn't it. I doubt people with NPD would be surfing the net looking for what's "wrong" with them... 🧐

@maryjoarrowsmith1124

9 ай бұрын

I am searching today for what's wrong with me. I'm 67. 5 months ago I ran away from my husband. My mom was I think a narcissist. She didn't talk to me about life at all. First divorce with such drama. I floated from man to man for many years. Looking for love. At 50 I met a guy and got married. He says that I asked him. I honestly don't know. It's 14 yrs later now. I ran away. 2 wks later a woman tild me I was being hurt by a Narcissistic Abuser. While that may be true (he displayed many if the characteristics described), today I'm looking only at myself and I'm sure that I have the PTSD. And I'm a Narcissistic Abuser too. I am no contact with him. Anyway, just heard this channel today for the first time. It seems to help me right now.

@theoryofpersonality1420

9 ай бұрын

That, comes from Dr. Sam Vaknin. Who literally coined the term narcisim and actually contributed to the dsm5 and even earlier editions. He also teaches in at least five colleges and wrote the the very first book on the subject after he invented it. Anyone who says otherwise is mistaken. A symptom of narcissistic personality disorder is not being able to be self aware or have self reflection. One can't contradict the man who literally discovered and coined the illness.

@theoryofpersonality1420

9 ай бұрын

@maryjoarrowsmith1124 Cptsd can mimic the symptoms of npd. That doesn't mean you have mpd. You definitely need to see a licenced professional in your area. I would recommend a therapist. They can actually talk to you. Not just listen.

I just found you by accident the other day, and have been watching quite a few of your videos. I’m way too far damaged I think to even get into any type of therapy, any recollection of my past or my emotions sends me into panic mode, but I’m listening to your videos in my own time, and I just want to say, I think you are one of the nicest, most sensible and sensitive, tactful, and kind people I have ever listened to, and I am so happy that you are here to help so many broken people. What a wonderful world this would be with more humans like you in it.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for the kind words. -Cara@TeamFairy

@colleenomara4980

Жыл бұрын

You can always always benefit from therapy. Always. 💟

@lizmonard

Жыл бұрын

@@colleenomara4980 I haven’t had good experiences I’m afraid.. I find it incredibly difficult to open up.. I’m very self conscious and I can’t even handle someone looking at my face. 😂😂

@KC-gi9ol

Жыл бұрын

BetterHealth has phone and text options and no one is too broken. Only if you choose to feel you are.

@lizmonard

Жыл бұрын

@@KC-gi9ol I didn’t say I was too broken, I’m just entirely introverted and unable to talk about anything private.

"Healing makes faking stop working."

I used to be quite self centered but through therapy and aging I'm a lot less self centered than I used to be...

I have a friend who went through childhood being abused by her father. She has only just told me about this several months ago and very few people know. She is 62. Just from becoming friends with her at work 8 years ago, she has taught me, by example (probably unknowingly or maybe in a subtle, intentional way), how to not always focus on myself, how to listen to others and truly care. I add, that were it not for you, Anna, I wouldn't have picked up on this and put two and two together. She is one of those you mentioned here, went through a childhood of trauma thanks to her father, and yet, did not emerge with CPTSD. She is the most loving, giving, doing, caring, concerned friend....to everyone. I taught her a new phrase...(she is from Ecuador; moved her as a child with her family). I told her "you love the unloveable". Don't get me wrong though, she knows boundaries and has them in place...She has stuck with me and not abandoned me as a friend, which is worth her weight in gold, for as we know, those of us with CPTSD often struggle in the friendship department. I told her, I was one of those "unloveable" people...lol, to which she responded, "you are not!" Thank-you Anna and thank-you my friend.

@JOCECIL

Жыл бұрын

❤❤❤❤❤❤🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

@meeraraj0

Жыл бұрын

Thank you 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

@mesCheerios

Жыл бұрын

Stories about friendship make me want to happy cry they are so warm

@entropy59122

Жыл бұрын

I don't know if it is CPTSD or autism. Like I can't think of anything that would lead me to have CPTSD.

@cherylzacharias90

Жыл бұрын

@@entropy59122 Could it be emotional neglect? Maybe the autism makes you more vulnerable to stuff that wouldn't have damaged others as much? So both?

I got disregulated today and tried the airplane visual. I kept saying to myself keep it on the ground keep it on the ground and it worked. The plane did not fly and I did not fly off the handle. Thanks so much. You’re the best

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

Жыл бұрын

Thanks for sharing! I'm so glad the video was helpful :) -Calista@TeamFairy

I think it's easy to confuse being self-focused with narcissism. But the difference is really in callousness or maliciousness, wherein a true narc will always be those things. A borderline or a CPTSD person may lash out, but it's not out of callousness or maliciousness. When you are trapped inside your own head, it's quite difficult to break out of that, especially if you've turned to self-isolation as a form of self-preservation. Put yourself out there and be more social, and those tendencies will go away very quickly.

@i.ehrenfest349

Жыл бұрын

Wellllll….to be fair, when a narcissist is malicious he or she is called a ‘malignant narcissist’. There’s lots of narcissists beside that type. It’s not so bad to acknowledge the toxic elements in one’s own behaviour. On the contrary, it opens the way to much better contacts with others. For me, anyhow.

@briannawaldorf8485

11 ай бұрын

@@i.ehrenfest349 but the issue with narcissists is their self focus and lack of self reflection or empathy for others. I feel like if a narcissist got to the point of being self aware and was actively working on change than they would quickly lose the title.

@i.ehrenfest349

11 ай бұрын

@@briannawaldorf8485 Yeah, I guess that issue with empathy goes for all of them (although some narcissism experts don’t think so.) It’s just that we do have the special category of malicious narcissists for those who really, genuinely want to hurt and exploit others. Most narcissists are more like drowning people who take others down with them. That’s dangerous enough…

@user-dg5ky7cy3x

7 ай бұрын

💯

@georgesonm1774

4 ай бұрын

Yes, apparently there's a lot of myths around narcissists, it's not like they're not self aware or even completely lack empathy, feelings, emotions or moral compass - it's just that they have this pervasive sense of emptiness inside them which makes them hunt for narcissistic supply all the time, to the point that little else really matters to them. Sam Vaknin, an expert on narcissism, is an example of an aware and responsible narcissist, who's trained himself to not lash out, self supply (apparently) and be a non-threatening, productive member of society - but this still means he can't experience certain things (so apparently he can't be really 'cured') and that must have taken a lot of (forced?) humility and work.

It took me years into adulthood to understand and accept that I come from a toxic home (narcissistic mother and enabling father). And I've only started accepting that I'm codependent and trauma-bonded to a narcissistic, emotionally unavailable man. (Expressing the difficulty of my marriage to a girlfriend brought this to the light). I'm so hurt and ashamed because I brought two beautiful children into a rocky home of my own making.... Couples counseling is a fail, so I've decided to start therapy on my own. Just the thought of it makes me anxious though, because I've spent years being invalidated by my mother (and spouse), but I'm hoping to break the trauma bond, to put energy towards my kids and myself alone.

@Living-the-joylife

Жыл бұрын

Wow ,wow, wow I so can relate. You’re describing my life.

@jhudson9411

10 ай бұрын

Mine, too! Exactly! We're not alone then.

@SallyHounsell

10 ай бұрын

I'm a classic victim of a narcissistic late mother who scapegoated me & it has been subconsciously perpetuated by my immediate family long after her passing in 2016. I feel validated, after all these years - it matters.

@sandradaley4920

10 ай бұрын

Mine too

@mayramontero5087

5 ай бұрын

Hi this is currently my life too. I have two beautiful girls with this man and I still love the idea of things being magically fixed.

I love how you share a bit of your own life experiences. It definitely sets you apart and relating to you gives me comfort when I can’t relate to anyone in my life.

@SereneSoulSeeker

Жыл бұрын

She isn’t trained be careful a lot of her content is not correct treatmenf

@BFNLEO

Жыл бұрын

@@SereneSoulSeeker I am an adult with critical thinking skills and plenty of life experience. Being “trained” is not a requirement to help people.

@SereneSoulSeeker

Жыл бұрын

@@BFNLEO If you look into solid treatment / psychotherapy you will find true recovery and wellness that takes deep root within and if done right can catalyze permanent change.

When you said "i believe you Rose, i believe you," it had an effect on me that was almost as powerful as if i was being addressed personally. The comfort and relief your validation brought me (and hopefully Rose!) felt like a warm hug. Thank you!

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

Жыл бұрын

I'm so happy to hear that, thank you for sharing :) -Calista@TeamFairy

Narcissists need to appear as the better person in all circumstances there is no personal growth with them or insight or self reflection, go full “grey rock”, plan an exit strategy and run like hell !

I am honestly blown away by Anna’s life changing wisdom. I had given up.

@Ctruong88

6 ай бұрын

Don't give up, if you are on this channel that means you are probably trying to figure stuff out and self reflect; self reflection is a sign that you are a considerate person

The victim complex is real. It is one thing to be victimized at one point, or even for a span of time. BUT it shouldn’t become your identity because identities are static and inflexible. That means that even if you have now erected defense mechanisms and offensive measures that have turned you into a bully or aggressor (to avoid being victimized), you still identify as the victim in every situation… and that’s what narcissists do! In adulthood, it’s important to evaluate every situation objectively and see your own contributions to it. There is freedom in this approach!

People I know who got trapped into controlling and cultlike groups tend to be intelligent and sensitive, but in a vulnerable point in their lives. So they get exposed to “new knowledge”, and get love-bombed (“these people understand me”).

Thank k you for making this video. I was raised by two narcissists (not diagnosed) and it took me years to be able to see the way I had absorbed their behavior in really unhealthy ways. It was straight up narcissistic acting, and so defensive about looking at any possible flaws. About six years ago I got out of a relationship with a narcissist who was a con artist, like at her core, like it was a real relationship but she was in a constant state of the con. It was traumatizing in an extremely deep way and leaving her caused me also to cut ties w my family, and I was drowning in not knowing who was who in the relationship I was trying to save myself from. I was horrified looking back, which I did alone, and realizing that I thought I might be a narcissist, and that if I cared about people at all I would never involve myself in their lives again. Anyones. It took several years of deep therapy to understand I’m not a narcissist and to slowly lay my weapons down, becoming undefended. I still have the traits but I catch them and I know it’s a signal I’m afraid, like I know what to do about it. I’ve found that when I’m in that mode it’s a sign I have to basically find the time at some point soon to treat myself like a kid. Literally order pizza, watch toons, hum to myself, stim, connect to the Abandoned Child so that they’re secure enough to not try to protect me when I’m near another person.

@timmcdraw7568

Жыл бұрын

Sorry for the typos, I’m on my phone in the middle of something and I’m trying to type with drying gesso on my fingers. It’s a mess.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

Жыл бұрын

ah, gesso. Good memories.

I never thought I was a narcissist, but for a while, thought I might have BPD. That was before I found your channel; CPTSD really fits my symptoms much better. After trying for so long to figure out what's wrong with me, having a diagnosis is such a relief! (I think I scored 13 or 14 on your survey.) Time now for the scary part - doing the work. (I have a crippling fear of failure.)

@randallsmerna384

9 ай бұрын

You are not one. The critical component of narcissism is the motivation along with callous and clueless indifference for the other person. Narcissism is very different from the normal struggles of selfishness that makes up the broken human condition. Furthermore, another thing that greatly characterizes narcissism is the refusal to accept responsibility or apologize while simultaneously blaming you or others for their behavior. It's deep arrogance and manipulation designed to feed the insatiable self within.

@ChloeShaliniArt

8 ай бұрын

Thank you!! I'm the same and a dear friend has been given the BPD diagnosis- I'm encouraging her towards CPTSD instead. I've both been a patient in hospital & worked in mental health & the whole BPD diagnosis is crap, in my personal opinion...it's really all to do with early trauma....I hope you are doing OK, take care & thanks for sharing 🩵

@brie1987

Ай бұрын

It’s easy to get sucked into the bad label that isn’t consistent over people nor fully p described it absolutely bypasses etiology. If we don’t understand how this happened, we cannot start to heal. It’s not trauma informed. That can make us feel re traumatized by an authoritarian medical model of psychiatry. They are not above the sufferer. That is the most important. There is cruelty in that. If their interventions are not trauma informed, they. are at the least unhelpful.

I love who you are. I did not have a traumatic childhood but I do have terrible clutter problems. I just discovered you today, and I relate to so much you are saying. I was raised by a motherless mother so I think some of the trauma was passed down to us - her children. I will watch more.

@amandawilcox5106

Жыл бұрын

Kassi Maneri-Best wishes and good luck, Kassie-

You are amazing. I have adapted and healed in similar ways. I don't need to talk about the past details but I still have things to learn. I feel so excited that my toxic traits can be improved. You are explaining so much .

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

Жыл бұрын

It's wonderful you have such a positive mindset in regard to healing! I'm so glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy

Thank you so much for this video. I feel like a monster most of the time but I’m slowly trying to unpick how my responses were normal because of my mother’s narcissism. I’d rather blame myself than admit it was that bad. Hopefully I’ll get some healing soon 🙏🏻

@5gx673

Жыл бұрын

I hear you. I go to therapy to know what's normal and "how to act." Wishing you the best

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

Жыл бұрын

We understand as few others can. You're in the right place and we're all rooting for you :) -Calista@TeamFairy

@user-dg5ky7cy3x

7 ай бұрын

Thank you for your comment. I too suffer with admitting I was a victim. That was (and still is) very uncomfortable for me. Then also, as soon as I began my work of healing, I began being accused of 'playing the victim ' from even very close friends and family. It's a hard path...❤

You can vacillate roles even within the same long relationship. I like the saying “ If we live long enough, we play all the roles”. Learning to not get stuck in the drama is the solution

If you have empathy you are not a narcissist

Still recommend the book: “He’s Scared, She’s Scared.” On why we pick unavailable but blame the one WE picked. Very good explanation of dynamic.

@nickethan7547

2 ай бұрын

thanks for the share, going to check this out

Thank you for clarity here as I spent 38 years in 12 step recovery. 10 rehabs ...I was sexually physically and emotionally abused and abandoned while in the care of narcissistic parents. I was lost until I found these videos are saving what is left of my life. My parents death was a blessing in so many ways because they made me feel like the abuse was my fault. I was punished for being abused and I was suicidal for most of my life. Now I listen to this and try to move on.

I came upon your video accidentally yesterday. I've been following Prof Sam Vaknin and he was viewing your channel. I'm 70 and the Professor and Dr Ramani has helped me deal with the middle part of my life. I'm so greatfull to find someone who can help me heal from the beginning part of me also. I'll be watching to heal the end of my life! Thank you!

Hi Anna, just stopping by in the comments to say thank you and to tell you I'm still following you after years and learning from you with each upload. I'm currently homeless after leaving an abusive situation, living in emergency accommodation, but things are getting there and I'm going to be ok. I hope you and the whole CCF community that we are together are doing well ❤

@kikki2012

Жыл бұрын

Oh, I'm so sorry you have been abused, and proud of you for leaving it behind and taking care of yourself. I send you much love and encouragement! 💗💕🌟

@Random.338

Жыл бұрын

I don’t know you but I’m proud of you 😊. Never stop thinking of your bright future. Keep your eyes on the prize.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for taking the time to comment, I'm glad the channel has been helpful. I'm so sorry to hear you have been going through this, we're all sending you encouragement :) -Calista@TeamFairy

@mesCheerios

Жыл бұрын

wow you're so strong

Totally appreciate the crumb and cake analogy. I would be emotionally starving for acceptance and validation from my narcissist father and my shame and self esteem were just awful. Lots of work to be done now in my 40s.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

Жыл бұрын

You got this! -Calista@TeamFairy

I had Stockholm Syndrome from being raised by a narc parent because its so normalized since its the only parent we've known. I remained in relationship with my mother for so many more years than I should've been - I'd take breaks from her for months or a year, then upon reconnecting she'd slam me with some casual insult that re-opens the wound. Finally I put my foot down. I haven't spoken to her in several years now. Real healing has happened in that time, having had space to breathe and unwind from how twisted up she got me. Cutting off the narcissist mother was crucial for me to deal with my own CPTSD and existential depression that she caused.

@clonejones7955

11 ай бұрын

Bet she's relieved as well.

Thanks for your comments on cancel culture. You've made the distinction between legitimately standing up to real injustice, or just bullying people for ego massage, better than anyone I've heard.

That Gemini comment is amazingly revealing and puts a giant "L" on her head not on yours... I have CPTSD and, at 67yo, still working on my symptoms. I am also a double Gemini and proud of it! I had many similar bullies to deal with and I just shut them off. It never helped the relationships but I did not care. I was a bit of a workaholic so I just kicked the dust off my feet and focused on my customers who loved me.

This video helped me take accountability for some narcissistic tendencies I had but didn’t notice. I’ve been in psychotherapy on/off for over 18 years (I’m 30) and felt like I was going in circles, reliving my past all over again. Your videos help me getting out of the victim mindset and to stop making my psychiatric illness/suffering my whole identity. Your channel is a very important resource for me and I just wanted to express my appreciation. I’ve had extreme problems with limerence/love addiction all my life to a debilitating extent and was never able to put a name on it cause most providers aren’t familiar with it. Thanks to you, I finally understand this trait and why I have it. That I’m not „bad“ or „broken“. Thank you so much!

My heart really goes out to Rose. Her mom really does sound narcissistic. I know that I'm not a professional, but I saw narcissistic stuff even before Anna said something.

Rose's mom sounds like a friend of mine's mom. When we were in high school, every few months when she wanted pity, it was that she had cancer and needed surgery. (It's been 20 years and she's fine)

@annanicholson7923

Жыл бұрын

Her mum reminds me of my mother, l wouldn’t have known how to express how she did and how much blame I lived with for so long

@stefaniacontessa

4 ай бұрын

@@annanicholson7923it took me years to get to this spot. It’s rough….

I do, because I talk a lot, and feel the need to fill in the silent spaces..

I really love what you’re doing, but the crappy parents are also seriously traumatised as kids and that’s how it was passed on, so having contempt for the mum doesn’t feel good, she’s just as damaged as her daughter, and deserves as much compassion. I am that mum and I’m also that daughter, and it’s incredibly painful realising the damage I’ve done, I’ve tried to run away from it my whole life but not any more so that’s why I’m doing your process, because it has to stop with me.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

Жыл бұрын

Glad you are working to stop the cycle. Thank you for being here. TeamFairy

I wish there weren't so many cruel and broken people in this world. 😢 I'm glad I'm learning about it and hopefully can choose healthy people in the future!

have cptsd due to my traumatic childhood but i don't recognize myself when she talks about people who are "traumatized don't let others talk because we do all the talk". For me, it was all the opposite, i didn't have my place, I wasn't seen or heard, they talk non stop without giving space to express my feelings etc. It was the same with my narcissist mother, she didn't care about me, about my feelings, my thoughts, the only thing she' has been caring about is her needs, her desires, all about her. So all my former relationships were the same. I was only important when they needed a therapist, otherwise my life was irrelevant to them..

Also, this is one of the best pieces I have heard on cancel culture. Thank you for saying it.

I like how you combined many clips into this one theme. Love your different outfits and looks. Makes this presentation fresh and easy to focus.

You are seriously so helpful , your channel is so rich and dense with helpful info

You're so right on points of view. I have seen so much disparaging of ppl the last 3 years or so for reasons that are beyond their control. Change begins with each of us and standing our ground in a healthy and safe way. Thank you for being so helpful and caring with ppl who have been injured and need help recovering.

This reminded me of a friend i had. I was lonely and she was intense and made me her best friend after just a few weeks. My body gave me signals that something was off about it but i didn’t listen. She would soon begin to say that i was toxic, unstable, that people could see i was a wounded and broken person and that i was a alcoholic. She said she said these things to help me grow and heal. She would ruin my relationships with men by being cruel to them and saying i was toxic. Once i talked to a man at a party and she screamed and pushed me because i didn’t notice her standing there alone. However when she found someone to talk to she would leave parties without telling me. I finally had it one night and told her to f*** off, she threatend me to never talk to me again and i said thank god. Then she started screaming that she would kill herself. She went to a doctor who said she had borderline PS, she then went to another one who made her a victim of others and it made my exfriend even sicker. I later talked to friends who met her and everyone said they were a bit scared of her and that i’m a calm and healthy person, it took me some time to realize i’m not sick and toxic like she said. I’m glad both me and the woman in the video broke it off, i guess even people with CPTSD have a line in the end

@daisyviluck7932

Жыл бұрын

We tend to focus on our romantic and family relationships, I wish there was more information out there about platonic relationships and their pitfalls. I had a couple bad Besties in my high school and college years and I wish I knew then what I know now

SO MUCH THIS. Thank you, Anna. This hit home and reaffirms things I've rooted out in myself over many years. 💌

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

Жыл бұрын

I'm so glad! -Calista@TeamFairy

I just love how your kind heart is motivating you to spread healing and love to others! Thank you!

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

4 ай бұрын

What a beautiful compliment for Anna. Thank you! Nika@TeamFairy

Thank you so much to Anna & the team for putting this compilation together. So helpful & so valuable.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

Жыл бұрын

I'm so happy to hear that! -Calista@TeamFairy

There can be forgiveness without reconciliation. Keep your boundaries and don’t feel the need to let them hurt you again if they are unwilling to respect you in the ways that you require.

"Healing makes faking stop working!"!!! ...anther great one, Anna ❤️

I've been divinely guided to your channel.. I am learning so much about myself and situations I've been stuck in. Thank you so much for posting these videos they are super informative.Thank you so much! Looking forward to peeling back these layers!!

I’m glad your life path lead you here to make these videos because they’ve changed my life in a way no therapy, friend or medication could

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

8 ай бұрын

I am so glad you found the channel, thank you for being a part of our community :) -Calista@TeamFairy

I needed this so much! My Father is 99 and I only realized this a few years ago. I have been working through so much to be at peace when he passes. This topic now is exactly where I find myself now. I actually asked myself if I am a narcissist today! I recall a friend telling me years ago “everything isn’t about you” What I didn’t understand was I had grown up thinking I was responsible for my pain and in my later adult life see that I truly always feared “not being understood or being misunderstood “ It’s an underlying fear that I am seeing pieces of in my relationships I am also a self- saboteur! I convince myself of being stuck somewhere with others and can’t run if my fight or flight mode kicks in. Thank you for your advice and selfless support- knowing this is not just me is confirmation I’m not alone!

Richard Grannon is fantastic! He was the first Cptsd coach i found online, and he has some really great programming. Highly recommend. i actually found this channel through the recommendations on his, for which i will always be grateful. i've often wondered if you were familiar with him, good to know you have a positive opinion of him, somehow that reinforces my belief that i am on the right path ;D

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

Жыл бұрын

Yes, I know @Richard_Grannon's work pretty well, and admire his work. He's one of a kind.

@CB19087

Жыл бұрын

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy interesting! I was thinking this morning about how for me, Richard is the masculine yang energy and you are the feminine yin energy! I spent 2 years focused on Richard's work, learning to stand up for myself, spotting dynamics, learning how to deal with it. Still got into 3 relationship dynamics with emotionally abusive folk 🤣 so am now following you, doing the inner feminine nurturing work. Fingers crossed I'm nearly there! 🤞

@sixthsenseamelia4695

Жыл бұрын

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming).

@laurelstewart4264

3 ай бұрын

I would recommend Professor Sam Vaknin

you summarized all that happens in the world unseen in the field of thoughts and rooted in humanity all these centuries. Thank you for sharing your message.

One of your best videos.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

Жыл бұрын

I'm glad you enjoyed :) -Calista@TeamFairy

I am so thankful that my daughter in law sent me a video this morning. I am, now, subscribed. Thank you a million times.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

4 ай бұрын

Welcome to the channel :) -Calista@TeamFairy

I love so much about this. Thank you for putting it out there....I wish i found it a long time ago.

Wow, thank you so much for creating this video! I have been following and watching some of your videos for a few months now. Lately, I have been feeling like I am on the path to becoming a narcissist and have wanted to somehow "stop it." You breaking down, explaining and sharing your own experiences is very helpful and eye-opening. Freya's situation sounds exceedingly similar to my own trauma bond and toxic relationship with my ex. Your videos are informative with helping me be more aware of my own behaviors and tendencies.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

Жыл бұрын

It's great you're capable of this self-awareness, that's the most important step in healing! Glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy

Rose I think your intuition about your mom is right on. I went through a similar drama/guilt trip before my wedding. I hope your day is full of joy and that you continue to develop your good instincts and trust in yourself. It can get better and easier especially with a kind and loving spouse.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

8 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing your encouragement for the letter-writer! Nika@TeamFairy

What can we do and see from an objective perspective for triggers of “ not being heard” in a narcissistic family system??? Narcissistic people/ behavior is a common occurrence of not hearing with compassion, listening ,understanding ( lack of empathy) or even caring ( lack of communication with empathy as well as denial) about others as an individual and whole person.

Dude, I really needed this.

Oh yes, I've been in those "my past is worse than yours" competitions, & lean it's best to let the other person "win." Yay for you! You focus on the solution rather than the problem! Einstein said that! You cannot solve a problem with the same mind that created it!

That’s so true if I can learn the difference (s) now! Life just gets better 🌺thk u for your expressions so right on

I love your videos. I'm currently getting a degree in psychology but this information isn't available in this manner. Everything you teach makes absolute sense. You're very relatable. Thank you for being here ❤

“It’s alll *dramatic gibberish* blah blah balah” 💖 I’m glad I’m not alone hearing it all I could do is roll my eyes and groan like OKAY MOOOMM

Since I found KZreadrs who I trust, because you know the problem from inside. There are good Teachers who learned with books and Teachers, only theoretical, but the survivors does know, they lived it, they survived and I would not be surprised that the traumas are gone or I have enough Ressources, too know what's needed, for re-regulat, knowing how and what I need too learn too know ❤

I understand using the vulnerable approach to how this was allowed to occur. But I have discovered in my recovery I had to stop being the childlike victim and take responsibility for myself and the people I choose to expose myself to. The cycle will never until YOU become the Loving and responsible parent you never had. I suggest Adult Children of Alcoholics and family dysfunction organization where you can accomplish the goal of this author for free and they have tons of workbooks and literature. He’s off to her understanding, she has a good grasp of this CPTSD.

“Being able to see the truth of the people who had been hurt” such an important concept. Narcissists can’t see another person’s reality.

You're an angel Anna

Thank you for your videos ! I agreee wholeheartedly with your advice for Fraya-- I hope she takes your advice.

Hi Anna, through your videos and the letters of your viewers that wrote to you have shed light 💡 in this dark tunnel I been crawling in for years. Wishing you and everyone peace and happiness ❤ Thank you, thank youuu Anna!

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

6 ай бұрын

I'm so happy to hear that! Thank you for taking the time to comment, I'm sure Anna will appreciate this :) -Calista@TeamFairy

Thank you. ❤️ Specifically for sharing your experiences. I've been diagnosed by my psychiatrist with C.P.S.D. I am feeling like I have narcissistic qualities. I was sexually abused for years by my uncle. 1-7 and raped by two men as a forty year old woman. I do Not feel targeted by everybody. But I do by my uncle and those two men. Thank you for all of this information. I want to grow. I have started a painful journey of looking at myself but I need to go to a therapist for deep help. I've been so confused after my last relationship. I would like to write a letter to you. I want to be happy or content without someone else making me feel that way. x

@brendastarke991

Жыл бұрын

* 7-10 years old

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

Жыл бұрын

I hear you. If you're interested, you can write to Anna here: bit.ly/CCF_Letters -Calista@TeamFairy

@ravenwisdom13

Жыл бұрын

I feel you.

Love this… I have shared about this topic-healing our inner narcissist.

So thankful for you and your channel ❤️

So Sorry you did go through horrible experiences having c-PTSD and more than one PTSD 😱 Amazing how you Heal!! Thank you so much to share in it, it means a lot too me, I heal when I lissen to you. I trust de you, your an exemple for me 🧚‍♀️ and Thank you so much for YOUR DAIYLY PRACTICE, in a monthe I changed more than in years on my own and that far I coulden't do without your teaching and the daily PRACTICE ❤❤❤❤

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

2 ай бұрын

I'm so glad the practice has been helpful! Thanks for sharing :) -Calista@TeamFairy

I've been working in therapy to lessen the "victim feelings" as well...

Forgiving people while keeping an emotional boundary so they don't have any impact on you is the most powerful outcome you can aspire to. Most people who hurt you have their own wounds that they can't see. The more you can recognize other people's negative behaviors as expressions of personal pain and respond empathetically (with boundaries), the more you will grow and succeed in life. I love your content. It has been game-changing for me. Thank you!

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

8 ай бұрын

Great insight. Thank you for sharing it with us. And we're glad you are a part of our community here! Nika@Team Fairy

Thank you, Anna. I finally understand what happened and even why mother behaved as she did. Her own mother had issues, particularly perfectionism, and any negative emotions or anything even having the appearance that there was anything wrong in the family were kept as family secrets. It taught me to keep the pain inside and just let it fester until I felt that I never deserved to be happy or just feel normal, whatever that meant. It's always hard work and scary to break that cycle, but beating cancer forced me to reevaluate and move towards change.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

9 ай бұрын

I hear you. Thanks for watching. Daily Practice is a good tool to help sort out things like this. Give it a try if you’re interested: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice

Sometimes, if you're not sure, it's best to allow ppl at work to warm up to you first. Youll find out a lot that way, you'll see who is and isnt trustworthy without risking as much.

One way friendship. What a great description.

I was in a cult and towards the second half they would say that I shouldn't think my issues (unknown C-PTSD/chronic dissociation) are unique, and then also would be constantly puzzled by my issues.

Thank you for always going so deep on your teachings…❤

I have just found your channel it was suggested in an ACA group. Thankyou for your videos I am going to watch every single one of them!👍

You’re so right about how we can’t be social, and it’s one sided when we’re the ones needing to talk, after great loss and hurts . It’s better for me just to stay away until, I can listen to another.

Gee, you are really God sent dear 🧚🏻‍♀️ You have actually described my childhood and continuing experience with a man that contributed to my coming to this world. Commonly referred to as a father, though to me this is only a strange word that I know to spell, but has no meaning for me other than being a menacing stranger.

We attract the same archetype of the karmic patterns we carrying. These patterns get hooked into our system. They become stronger. When patterns become intense it's master saying OK its time now to get out of it. To break it. When the student is ready the teacher or master appears. 🙏🏽

this channel sells BOTH the problem & the solution

Crappy Childhood Fairy, you are a Blessing on this Earth. Thank you ✨🙌🏼🥹💯✨❤️‍🔥

Omg!! I am so sorry you went through this. I thank you though for sharing your letter. I have recently had a similar experience. It is so traumatizing. Just hearing your story and her explanation helped me make some sense of it. I’m going to get that book too.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

8 ай бұрын

Thank you for your comment. I'm glad you found this video helpful. Have a good read! Nika@TeamFairy

Within the first 5 / 10 minutes you explained -me- my Mother passed completely sending me over the edge along with two uncles then my home had mold I had to leave my home then two beloved pets died my health was deteriorating surgery diagnosis I went full insane. My Niece (who's Father is a true narcissist) had somewhat insinuated I was sounding narcissistic and it really threw me and it hurt but I had hurt her not with intentions to do so I had a tough year no doubt and my boiling point was taken out on her. I've been watching your talks literally morning noon and night and it was this talk tonight that has also hit so so hard - although I'm hardcore listening to your talks I'm taking "healthy" breaks eating walking caring for my current pets spending time with friends and keeping a healthier distance from my Father - thanks to you ! Also I'm sleeping for the first time in seriously many years it's nothing short of a miracle also Crappy Childhood Fairy you are waking me up to the co-dependecy I live with that sadly regretably I stopped working on in my 20's when I was attending coda groups just simply, your saving my life and thank you. I have been in therapy most of my life on and off nothing has made me understand or given the tools you do to even closely break my cycles actually it's as if my therapy was making things worse as you've mentioned (helped in some areas definitely but wasn't helping me with my repeated behaviors) as horrible as it sounds your Trauma is saving so many - I'm facing myself along with all the shame sadness anger guilt pain you name it I'm bringing it forward....I'm so relieved that I'm not an actual narcissist by the way and thank you thank you for really explaining this topic - wounded people wound people and I don't ever want to go there again - I believe I'm going to finally live in a world without daily anxiety trying to navigate life continually blaming the world and my parents for my shit now as a 58 year old adult. Being able to really breathe in years is an incredibly wonderful welcoming calm experience that I was desperately seeking for so long.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

5 ай бұрын

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's wonderful to hear that the channel has been helpful, we're all rooting for you :) -Calista@TeamFairy

I was married for 18 years to a narcissist and have two children (now adults)with her. I divorced in 2009 Sadly the courts ignored warnings signs and granted custody of the then children to her. Years of substance abuse and involvement with law inforcement and court appearances my Ex finerally gave custody back to me however the damage was done. . I've worked hard and will always do anything for my kids . In contrast to this video it's been my experience that Sadly the only way to control her narcissistic behavior is incarceration. Narcissistic behavior is a choice not a medical condition. Not all narcissist cross legal lines with their behavior but because of my experience i know first hand that there are some people who try to hide behind the narcissistic label. If you watch a recent interview with Michael J Fox .it becomes impossible to have any sympathy for a narcissist. My prayer for my ex is that she remains incarcerated. . I also hope family courts will take a closer look when red flags are presented Thank you for your time

@Dalabombana

Жыл бұрын

Michael J Fox? Is he a narc? I thought he was a nice guy struggling with Parkinson’s?

@roberttradd1224

Жыл бұрын

Yes,Fox is a great guy hes a fighter. In his recent interview he took away from any narcissist the ability to suck sympathy from the rest of us. So no,, he is not a narcissist, just the opposite

@cynthiafortier2540

Жыл бұрын

Is Michael J Fox a narc?

I’m glad I’ve found your site, very informative.❤

Wow this is so so important message about cancel culture and really spoke to me. Thank you!

8:51 Hear hear! You might/might not be able to imagine the immeasurable relief I feel about finding this channel, and that this 'thing' that follows me around has a title, and that's it's technically real by society's standards now. I'm soooooo tired of having family/acquaintances/community 'gas-light' me about this behavioral ball and chain I've been living with my entire conscious life. I'm strongly empathic [it complicated my search/understanding of source of my problems, but I have since learned the power of Empathy for healing so that part's OK for me now, lol. But I digress...] and I was targeted for being overly sensitive from my very, very earliest memories until... well, its ongoing so that's neither here nor there for this story. Plus, I grew up with 3 older brothers no sisters so... I have childhood issues to deal with. lol I learned a deep sense of unworthiness that, as some of you may know, makes a very big mess of a person's life choices. Healthy sense of power must be learned the hard way in some cases. I do not question that I was/am genuinely loved by my family, but I did experience/suffer bullying born of the almost complete lack of self-analysis by the men in my family/acquaintances/generation. The song of so many women of my generation & prior generations (born prior to the 1970s). But I will stop whinge-ing out loud about that and share the following so others like me won't feel alone in the ongoing mess. We wake up in the morning and do the best we can with what we, as individuals, have to work with. Then we find The Crappy Childhood Fairy techniques, we rejoice insanely with relief, and we do all that much better from this point forward. -------------------------------------- I truly believe both of my parents [late depression era/WWII deprivation as small children] suffered from their own undiagnosed/unresolved CPTSD symptoms and now, after watching enough of CCF's program, I am certain my siblings experience problems from it as well. I am convinced that I most certainly do. My immediate family all have severe clutter/security issues (as well as inability to listen attentively/considerately to loved ones) that have been handed down to us by our parents' parents' parents' fears - not the actual situation that my siblings and I grew up in because my dad fought like mad [I mean that literally because he was always mad about something, especially when he talked to me {didn't know how to relate to me, he didn't have a sister growing up}] to make sure his kids never had to experience the physical and financial poverty he experienced in the late 1930s as a pre-schooler. (He maybe should have focused on easing up on the half-glass-empty and hyper-critical approach to teaching us kids to survive the world, but he never learned it himself from his parents {and they from theirs and so on, Old World mentality}, so I think we can all be understanding of his personal pain handed down and cut him a break on that part. We kids absorbed it all without context, of course.) My mom also didn't have a lot growing up, but her expectations may have been different and she handled that acceptance aspect better than my dad. Their experiences/how they experienced deprivation were quite different because of their different ages/locations growing up. The key here is that they both grew up to be intense do-it-yourself-ers - which can be good and can be bad. Matter of perspective, I guess. Hence the family legacy of hoarding, self-sufficiency, creative mastery and emotional struggle. I think my family's a mess despite their occupational/social status successes. I don't have either of those, but then, I'm weakened by my wealth of emotions according to them, so I guess its only fair to let them believe what they like as well. [I'm full of a lifetime's resentment, can you tell? lol What CCF video talks about working on confrontational avoidance? lol] Anyway, we children grew up in a nicely secure environment with our physical needs met/no physical abuse - but my father's deep-set fears/emotional constipation became his goal, so much so that he focused his energy constantly pointing out to us children that people can't ever really be trusted; that everyone is always trying to take what you have/to cheat you; if you don't do it/force it yourself it will never get done correctly; emotions are a life-threatening weakness and can rarely be trusted; and if you don't constantly prepare for the worst, you will be caught out and suffer dearly for it. (He and my mom also taught us lots of fun things as well, to be fair. He was a really excellent dad, but for this CPTSD baggage part.) Needless to say, my 3 older sibling-brothers and I suffer from covert avoidance and anxiety in somewhat different ways. They won't ever admit it to themselves because to them it's weak to admit they suffer from it and if it's ignored it might go away even if its real; but I myself choose to battle CPTSD head-on and figure out exactly what I'm dealing with so I can heal myself. I'm tired of everything in my life falling apart in repeat performances, so I'm going to identify it, understand it, then attempt to correct it. Then my family/friends all will see that I'm not making up my actual issues because I found an effective way to correct the problem. lol A person can wish to be congratulated by those closest to them, can't they?! I also suffer from an inability to accept compliments in a gracious way, I always feel the need to point out all of my mistakes maybe to undo the complementor's good intentions to their face and prove I don't deserve the compliment in the first place - just how my dad taught me. He'd be proud, I'm really good at it. He was good at it too. Apple - Tree. (It's such a nightmare while it's happening - I'm aware that what I'm doing is unwarranted/unkind, but I'm seemingly unable to stop myself before it's too late. Perverse self-effacement. It reeks of false modesty even though its actually self-abuse.) Well, I'll be essentially on the mend whether the people in my world acknowledge my emotional accomplishment or not. After 4 decades of this crap, I don't really think I care whether they acknowledge my amazing journey of self-discovery/self-healing or not. I took and remember the journey (just as my Spirit Guides revealed to me last year that my mission was to heal a generational issue once and for all with my lifetime's hunt for answers) and that is what is essential to my growth and self-healing. If they're lucky, Ill help the people in my life with self-healing after I get a handle on it myself. If not, well I can spend the rest of my life improving myself, so I will be nicely busy. I spend all of my time anticipating by use of Anxiety, telling myself to stop anticipating, and actively attempting to balance my lower chakras which are all seriously out of balance, if not completely clogged. I'm going to free my Inner Child from captivity if it kills me! lol Self-sufficiency can go way too far if over-developed for the wrong reasons. However, it does gift a person with choices/adaptability - -> seeking my Silver Lining on my rainy Cloud there, if you didn't catch that. ^_^ 🌨🌦🌥🌤🌞 Tomorrow is a new day, which is nice because I get another chance to try to 'right myself'. I wish you all the best recovery and finest Joy in living life as you see fit. 💚💚💚

Thank you so much! So grateful for your work.

I am Sooooooooo READY to be free of this prison. Just started reading a paragraph here and there. 7 years I couldn't focus to read and I use to devour books. Can you have CPTSD and heal, then repeat the cycle differently but as harmful? So relieved someone like you is here. Remeber the book Men are from Mars Women are from Venus? Everytime I heard that I always felt like the only person with all of "this muck" on the planet. This is really hard, but it is a crack of light in the dark. Forever greatful.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy

11 ай бұрын

To answer your question, it is definitely possible to relapse with CPTSD symptoms, or to experience a new, re-triggering or re-traumatizing situation. It's also possible to return to a healed state after that! To recover your healing, return to what worked before and add new tools as needed. We always recommend the Daily Practice technique around here. :) bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Julie@TeamFairy

This was an excellent video. To Frea, this guys seems to be a narcissist for sure. The 6 month mark is VERY significant. My once perfect relationship went up in flames around 6 months when his other girlfriend reached out to me to tell me I was sharing a boyfriend. That’s usually about how long someone can hold their mask up!

I listen to HG Tudor - a self-described narcissist and psychopath- and he stated that the worst thing anyone can do to his kind is ignore them. It sounds just like this guy. He only pulled out all the stops once she went no contact.

I agree with just about every thing you said except one. Sometimes we can see traits and habits in others that they can’t or don’t want to see. I think we can bring these to light using caring and supportive language. It’s viewed negatively by how and when it’s delivered. People only want to see their true self if they are ready too. If they are ready and ask for help then you should, in a caring and loving way, state the negative trait they have and if you suggestions on how to change it, offer it.

That second letter could have been my mum, minus the molestation. Your anger is reassurance that actually, she was abusive and manipulate and still is, and I am right to be wary of her. Nothing she does is without an ulterior motive. My counsellor suggested that she has narcissistic traits and recommended that I seriously consider cutting her out of my life, my partner can't stand her because of the way she treats me and I often wonder what it is I actually get out of the relationship with her - certainly not the love and acceptance I have craved my whole life. Isn't it funny how we can see things so clearly when its another family rather than our own. Thank you to the writer of that letter for sharing, I can relate so much. Wishing you all the best 💜

Great content, CCHF ❤

I used to talk about my Traumas while I was helping but I hardly talk about my Traumas at all anymore..