Narcissism And Shallow Superficial Relationships | DIANA DIAMOND

How does narcissism affect relationships? It turns out the capacity to attract a lot of short-term partners is an indication of narcissistic pathology.
Diana Diamond explains that narcissists often end up being behind developmentally due to an inability to invest deeply in relationships, and gives a typical male example.
We interviewed Diana Diamond about narcissism and its prevalence in our society today, all the way from healthy traits to Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
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Diana Diamond is an expert clinician who makes use of Transference-Focused Psychotherapy in her practice treating NPD and BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder).
Check out our interviews of Otto Kernberg and Frank Yeomans for lots more related material: Kernberg: • Dr. Otto Kernberg
Yeomans: • Dr. Frank Yeomans
For more information about BORDERLINE, the feature-length documentary we made about BPD, please visit: borderlinethefilm.com
Our archive of videos on BPD and NPD is expanding - be sure to subscribe to our channel here: / borderlinernotes

Пікірлер: 78

  • @nathankoehler2143
    @nathankoehler21433 жыл бұрын

    Also would like to add these are still the best videos online regarding bpd and npd by far.

  • @Nobody-Nowhere

    @Nobody-Nowhere

    3 жыл бұрын

    No wonder, you literally have people who defined the diagnoses, formed treatments. Actual real specialists and true professionals. A little bit different that tarot card reading youtubers calling narcissist demons and themselves as uber empaths.

  • @0skodaoctavia0

    @0skodaoctavia0

    3 жыл бұрын

    And I am so grateful for them

  • @narcme1742

    @narcme1742

    3 жыл бұрын

    They are very good. But so are Sam Vaknin and HG Tudor.

  • @georgegeysen6499

    @georgegeysen6499

    2 жыл бұрын

    Agreed. Really enjoy the work of Dr. Yeomans and Dr. Diamond. Learning a ton. I am a psychologist and have a familiarity with NPD and BPD, but the breadth of knowledge and the interpersonal dynamics as are discussed is really unparalleled.

  • @Studentoftheiniverse

    @Studentoftheiniverse

    Жыл бұрын

    @@narcme1742 Sam Vaknin is especially interested since he is diagnosed with NPD

  • @niteshj_
    @niteshj_ Жыл бұрын

    Ouch, that hurts. Time distortion, development delay

  • @ssellers1870
    @ssellers18703 жыл бұрын

    I would never pick a favorite on here.....but Diana is in the running.

  • @nathankoehler2143
    @nathankoehler21433 жыл бұрын

    How does one become gratified in relationships would be a great video. Its not easy hearing the negatives without the hope.

  • @SA-ww1ge

    @SA-ww1ge

    3 жыл бұрын

    Great Ques. Its an inside job. no one can gratify us like world wants us to think. A great deal of acceptance, humor & Nonattachment to this impermanent existence. Accepting what is rather than trying to make it what we want. Your questions will guide you to your answers, never stop listening with your heart. Anger at this place is a distraction from our real work. peace

  • @charchar7897

    @charchar7897

    3 жыл бұрын

    Not sure there's hope. Narcissism is a disorder, you've gotta love yourself enough to move on from the relationship with them.

  • @nathankoehler2143

    @nathankoehler2143

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@charchar7897 unfortunately I'm the disordered one

  • @charchar7897

    @charchar7897

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@nathankoehler2143 Ok. We're you abused as a child or suffered trauma? Seems like that would be the place to start, since that's what caused it.

  • @TempermentalTart

    @TempermentalTart

    2 жыл бұрын

    By seeking contentment over novelty. By casting away fear and replacing it with wholeness, peace and agape love. By recognizing that you need a higher power. It takes a daily commitment to renew the mind. Meditating, reading...thinking differently. Retraining the subconscious, deleting the old programming replacing it with the "mind of christ". Consider it the ultimate challenge! When the world says you can't (you're stuck, fixed, will never change). All things are possible with God. It's a submission to the highest power in the universe so that He can elevate you. Not done within our own power or might...but by his spirit. He gives grace to the humble and opposes the proud.

  • @Andypandieful
    @Andypandieful5 ай бұрын

    Fuel hunters.

  • @elessar0009
    @elessar00093 жыл бұрын

    Great great content. Thank you

  • @estellesstories7467
    @estellesstories74674 ай бұрын

    Diana’s videos are insightful and helpful. Thanks for making this content available!

  • @amandac3658
    @amandac36583 жыл бұрын

    This describes the narcissist I know perfectly. At the last part, but what would convince a narcissist to choose the former option and give up the latter?

  • @charchar7897

    @charchar7897

    3 жыл бұрын

    The need of the narcissist. Whatever need is important to them, be it status, finances, etc, that will aid them in their choice. If it makes them look good, that's the choice they will make.

  • @PuntedKitten
    @PuntedKitten2 жыл бұрын

    Well, this describes someone I know very well. Wow.

  • @angelacasein7059
    @angelacasein7059 Жыл бұрын

    Well the reason is bc they’re so shallow and immature they literally get lodged into absurd superficial type assessments then they wonder why the rest of feeling humanity has “moved on” and they haven’t ?

  • @JeffreyGillespie
    @JeffreyGillespie Жыл бұрын

    She just described me PERFECTLY 😬

  • @bradmcewen
    @bradmcewen3 жыл бұрын

    Fuel. That which to aquire. That which to burn.

  • @Star-dj1kw
    @Star-dj1kw2 жыл бұрын

    Interesting video

  • @lexbraxman9270
    @lexbraxman92703 жыл бұрын

    She’s my favorite

  • @narcme1742
    @narcme17423 жыл бұрын

    I like her, and this is interesting, but it also feels very normative...

  • @accordionSWE
    @accordionSWE2 ай бұрын

    The person suffering from NPD gets stale and tiresome. Other people can not stand them. With experience it also becomes easier to predict the behavior and how that will end and after that what will follow. It goes on and on.

  • @graemesutton2919

    @graemesutton2919

    Ай бұрын

    from my limited experience of NPD, when you know them from a distance they mask so much you think they are in depth and deep and knowledgeable. When you get close to them you see through the mask and see that they are facade with no depth behind it. A fraud. Yet they don''t seem to get you know. I made the mistake to try and help them and got treated like a piece of sh@t because of it. The compulsive lies, gaslighting etc was unbelievable. At the time I did not know they had NPD. It was only through post analysis with a clinical psychologist that it was pointed out to me. Before then I thought NPD was just a term to describe an ex you did not like....

  • @FRANCESCORE1982
    @FRANCESCORE19822 жыл бұрын

    Yes, and you arrive to a point where the new girl is just an other girl. And I hate that feeling. I used to feel so much when I was a kid. I used to fall in love as a teenager, and now I can't feel anything. How can I fix this??? I don't want to give up on loving someone and be loved.

  • @PuntedKitten

    @PuntedKitten

    2 жыл бұрын

    Sam Vaknin and others consider narcissism spectrum stuff to be basically CPTSD. Basically we were emotionally neglected and/or traumatized very young which made our attachment to your caregiver(s) very insecure. The grandiose false self can be created to protect the true self. It can get murky if the person is unable to be grandiose and instead becomes "echoist", or a combination of both strategies.

  • @Atbay8

    @Atbay8

    2 ай бұрын

    Is there anything you can remember that happened to you?

  • @FRANCESCORE1982

    @FRANCESCORE1982

    2 ай бұрын

    @@Atbay8 well, i guess that it comes from my mother being hyper critical about everything. So nothing and nobody has ever been good enough in my childhood, even me. And I started to believe that nobody was good enough for me, as a defense mechanism...I could not stand imperfections. I have to say that with the time, I started to be more flexible with this aspect, and accept mine and others imperfections, but I always arrive to a breaking point that make me leave my partner after a while (usually 3 months), and this unsatisfaction leads me to cheat as well. It´s not that I don´t want to accept responsability for my acts, but I think it comes from being emotionally insecure due to the luck of unconditional love I felt as a kid. I´m working on it. I´m more clear in my relationships now, and I only keep going out with someone after explaining how messed up I am and that they should not expect much from me on an emotional level. This is the only way I found that let me connect a bit more with someone else

  • @SayinXJW
    @SayinXJW Жыл бұрын

    Question, I was diagnosised with bpd. I go from relationship to relationship and she was talking about surrounding self with new people all the time... I do this but I did have a 16 year relationship with a few people that just ended. Why do bpd move from one to the other, and the differences from npd?

  • @How.Dare.You.
    @How.Dare.You. Жыл бұрын

    "Attractiving women or whatever" loll

  • @cdpcullman
    @cdpcullman10 ай бұрын

    Why I haven't seeing a Psychologist that apply their knowledge on themselves ?

  • @ThreetwoOne-wu7ye

    @ThreetwoOne-wu7ye

    4 ай бұрын

    Indeed

  • @Jess-kn8vl
    @Jess-kn8vl3 жыл бұрын

    Facebook

  • @bluest1524
    @bluest1524 Жыл бұрын

    Why are narcissists often good looking and able to attract many partners? I guess it suggests good looks feed narcissism in the individual in their developmental years.

  • @lamentate07

    @lamentate07

    Жыл бұрын

    For people with narcissistic traits, yes, but not for the people with the actual disorder.

  • @ST-yc7uj

    @ST-yc7uj

    Жыл бұрын

    Only the somatic narcs.

  • @ethiopiazoldyk4667

    @ethiopiazoldyk4667

    Жыл бұрын

    @@ST-yc7uj what's a somatic?

  • @ST-yc7uj

    @ST-yc7uj

    Жыл бұрын

    @@ethiopiazoldyk4667 a somatic type of narcisst. Look up videos on KZread

  • @ethiopiazoldyk4667

    @ethiopiazoldyk4667

    Жыл бұрын

    @@ST-yc7uj ok. Thanks for the reply. I will look up on it ☺️🙌

  • @johnrainsman6650
    @johnrainsman6650 Жыл бұрын

    My blind date called me a superficial thinker who ignorantly labeled people. The nerve of that woman.

  • @lightgivener

    @lightgivener

    5 ай бұрын

    she was probably right from what you said here.

  • @johnrainsman6650

    @johnrainsman6650

    5 ай бұрын

    @@lightgivenerWhat did I say?

  • @jakebastian6726

    @jakebastian6726

    5 ай бұрын

    Well, what did you say to your date to make her say you were superficial? What's the context?

  • @analozada9475
    @analozada94752 жыл бұрын

    🙌🔥💯👏

  • @ChrisKadaver
    @ChrisKadaver Жыл бұрын

    This should be at least 30 minutes... not 3?!

  • @ST-yc7uj
    @ST-yc7uj Жыл бұрын

    The 'successful' Tate

  • @marysmith801
    @marysmith801 Жыл бұрын

    Why does Dr. Diamond always have a pile of papers on her lap?

  • @leojablonski2309
    @leojablonski2309 Жыл бұрын

    Here we go,again, using guys as examples.

  • @fatyowls
    @fatyowls7 ай бұрын

    Superficial narcissism.

  • @narcme1742
    @narcme17423 жыл бұрын

    I like her, and this is interesting, but it also feels very normative...

  • @offensivediscourse8514

    @offensivediscourse8514

    Жыл бұрын

    What do you mean?

  • @narcme1742

    @narcme1742

    Жыл бұрын

    @@offensivediscourse8514 nor·ma·tive /ˈnôrmədiv/ adjective FORMAL adjective: normative establishing, relating to, or deriving from a standard or norm, especially of behavior. "negative sanctions to enforce normative behavior"

  • @offensivediscourse8514

    @offensivediscourse8514

    Жыл бұрын

    @@narcme1742 thank you Im so used to normative being used in the 'cis-hetero normative' style that it gets my back up

  • @narcme1742

    @narcme1742

    Жыл бұрын

    @@offensivediscourse8514 those activists are using the word with the same underlying meaning, just in a different context What I meant is that she seems to have a very normative idea of how human life is supposed to unfold, and that deviations from that presupposed standard, or norm, are in some way problematic, substandard, deficient, etc. Certain people seem to have a very normative way of thinking, while others do not I am one of those who does not So it raises my hackles when I hear someone engaging in that sort of thinking, and passing it off as if it's objective, when it's actually not My usage had nothing to do with the political sentiments you mentioned, of which I am also not particularly fond

  • @offensivediscourse8514

    @offensivediscourse8514

    Жыл бұрын

    @@narcme1742 yeah i was just fishing/trolling with my first comment. Thank you for answering like a kind caring human being. I'll see you in the re-education camps in a fee years :)