It hurt so much to leave my husband (now my ex) due to stupid alcohol. I felt like I was watching someone slowly jump off a building. But it sobered him up and saved his life, and now my daughter will have a healthy, functional father.

@sarcodonblue2876

Жыл бұрын

I can only imagine how painful that would have been . That's good for you daughter though .

@mariahconklin4150

Жыл бұрын

Yep! That's what happened to my ex's father but I think he left, became homeless but his son saw him on the street and took him home. After that day he stopped doing drugs and never went back to them. Honestly the guy is a better father then my own dad is because he went through what he went through. The family has forgiven him and my ex is trying to get help for other addictions but alcohol is what he started to do. His parents were pretty crappy parents though especially with his dad addicted to Meth which is one of the worst. He says he didn't have any help he just stopped which I think could be possible to but that is rare.

@tamid2225

Жыл бұрын

@@sarcodonblue2876 Indeed it was! This man loved me more than air. My nickname for him for was "puppy". Sweet, docile, and loyal. However queen alcohol would snatch his boyish charm and turn him into a monster every time. Sometimes, I wonder if some people have a "mental allergy" to the intoxicant. I appreciate your sentiment. ❤‍🩹

@ThillerKillerX

9 ай бұрын

Yeah couldn't be he was going through pain and would try to reach out to you only to get told he needs to fix it when men only want someone to talk to and feel for them but that's too hard for modern women that entered into the same relationship knowing the guy drank. Life is hard but harder for a man that is alone emotionally

@tamid2225

9 ай бұрын

@@ThillerKillerX I was there for him. But when he drank, he would intentionally start fights with our child for entertainment. I couldnt fix that.

Too little to late. She had to save herself.

@dabd8175

Жыл бұрын

Typical female behavior

@MindyM2144

Жыл бұрын

Amen!

@jeromehenry4484

11 ай бұрын

Yeah, really tired of hearing from addicts that are only 10% repentant (so not really repentant, just a sob story). Their 1st love & only priority is ALWAYS their addiction(s), not any person in their lives.

@sarahdancs8769

Күн бұрын

As she should

Addiction's a b1tch. Let her be free. She needs it. Get yourself straightened out. LONGTERM. Best wishes. 🙏

Alcohol made me soo ugly...ill be 4 years sober in September. It's a much better life.

@mmp495

Жыл бұрын

❤

You cant ever successfully quit an addiction unless you want to stop. It doesn’t matter how much others want you to quit and it doesn’t matter how badly you dont want to let those people down. You have to have a deep desire burning in your belly to stop.

I the 1990s, Dr Laura Schlesinger said there are 3 reasons for a divorce. Adultery. Abuse. Addiction. She's done putting up with his addiction/alcoholism. He should let her go. He needs to work on himself.

This guy claims that he loves his wife, but he obviously loves the bottle more. His wife finally realized that he's been cheating on her for the last 17 years -- cheating with the bottle. About 30 years ago, my brother was arrested for a DUI. His wife told him if he EVER took another drink of alcohol, she'd leave him. He hasn't taken as much as a whiff of booze since. So Sean...if you're reading this...realize that you need to love your wife and son more than alcohol.

I listened to the first 3 mins and stopped. I heard this caller’s questions, the 2 or 3 he asked and I knew right away what the issue is. Narcissism. Selfishness. All of his questions were self fulfilling and about how can he get people back into his life bc he’s lonely. He’s not starting from a place of-how can I be a better human to the people who love me and have given me too many chances. Contrast this to a previous caller named Doug who was 630 lbs and wanted to lose weight so he can be a better friend and serve his community and loved ones better. This is how narcissism presents.

@aimeerebecca1

Жыл бұрын

Most people who appear narcissistic wouldn’t actually be diagnosed as such. Trauma, CPTSD, etc, produce narcissistic traits. If this man wasn’t at least reflective enough to want to work on himself, he wouldn’t have called. Narcissists DO NOT subject themselves to being exposed, scrutinized, advised. This guy definitely has those traits, but let’s give a little grace for people who are actually reaching out. He might get to the same place of honesty as Doug.

@stephenwishburne1034

Жыл бұрын

@@aimeerebecca1 I hear ya, I really do hear ya. I think you made a leap, I’m not diagnosing him with every DSM criteria to meet NPD, but my opinion is there’s a lot of narcissism going on here. And people who rarely think of others will often times reach out for help because they are the beneficiary of receiving that help, they get their loved ones back. Again my opinion here was not a complete diagnosis of him, but I found it very telling that never did he mention a selfless motivation to getting his family back. And the first few minutes of the conversation is when we hear the thoughts that are most prominent in these caller’s minds.

@aimeerebecca1

Жыл бұрын

@@stephenwishburne1034 I agree, and I didn’t mean that I heard you diagnose him. Trust me, my mother & grandmother are verifiable narcissists, and I left a 6 year relationship with a verifiable narcissist. I feel for this guy’s wife and kids, and I 100% believe leaving is the right call. I hope she stays in her strength.

Take responsibility sir. Self control. Break your habits. Look forward. Don't look for excuses from the past.

@calmtea5369

11 ай бұрын

People can break free from addiction when they understand how it formed. It’s usually from a deep trauma that creates a disbalance in the reward system of the brain. Most addicts were abused or neglected as children. It’s psychological scars, not habits. Acknowledging the pain of the past is not making excuses. It’s actually not healthy to repress the past pain, that is why negative coping mechanisms form.

@jakes658

24 күн бұрын

Or they just like getting hammered...​@@calmtea5369

Good job John. He needs to know that women don't have to wait around for you to get your act together to. They are incentivized by the system to not have to. So he better figure it out or drinking isn't going to be his only problem

@fallon7616

Жыл бұрын

Absolutely 💯 My first husband was drinking almost every day and

@fauxbro1983

Жыл бұрын

How about of a man leaves his wife due to her food addiction and she puts on 50 lbs

@trashpageant7861

Жыл бұрын

Hahaha

@bensondentalassociates8690

Жыл бұрын

@@fauxbro1983it’s pointless to try and make them understand

@MostBoringNameEver

Жыл бұрын

​@@fauxbro1983Im all about women being more responsible with their weight, looks and being pleasing unto their husbands but I don't think it's comparable to alcoholism.

Drinking b/c he's BORED???? He's got an excuse for everything.

I moved out my wifes place in 2013, never went back. Best decision i ever made.

my brother Shawn- you must surrender to the program. i have seven and half years clean- it's my experience that a total unconditional Surender is the key to freedom. Pray and take action every day. meetings, homegroup, fellowship, sponsor, steps, service, higher power. that's the blueprint! better get moving before it's too late! your structure to stay sober is to follow the blueprint, god bless.

@mmp495

Жыл бұрын

Best post I've seen.❤

I think the move will do this gentleman a world of good, he seems like a good person. Loved how he always referred to his wife by name too. 🥺

@cosmicshy637

Жыл бұрын

Good people can have haunting problems. 🙏 Once they get themselves turned around longterm on the right path, they can help create miracles in others' lives.

@edithandlez

Жыл бұрын

@@cosmicshy637except he’s not doing that so doesn’t apply

Addictions cause to many problems legal, stealing, mood swings,toxic people that don’t care, abuse,etc. children are involved abuse and neglect or worse It not worth it to be with a person like that

Smart wife. Let her go.

You are so spot on, most suffering folks had poor parenting (because their parents grew up in dysfunction etc) I am a grateful member of ACA and we tell everyone you have to deal with your addictions before you can delve into the past, it is just too painful and requires depths of grieving and you have to be sober. We have a member that was forced into AA to get hip surgery, he never identified with the stories in the AA literature but in ACA feels right at home and is healing from his childhood after 70+ years.

@cosmicshy637

Жыл бұрын

❤️🎯🙏

@aimeerebecca1

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for this ❤

@thomasschellberg8213

Күн бұрын

American Canoe Association?, Affordable Care Act? What does ACA stand for here? Thanks.

@janethartmannjones4781

Күн бұрын

@@thomasschellberg8213 Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families

I think they should have bleeped the names. This his his wife, child, and dogs name. His career. Her career and new city. He called, not his family. She deserves some privacy.

My mom was / perhaps still is an addict to drugs. Ruined our lives as kids and continues to be such a dismissive checked out person. My dad is an addict to his anger, which he can’t control. Make peace with your pain and spirit. You need a trauma therapist & some sort of therapy for regulation of your nervous system. Look into somatic / trauma work.

Sorry don’t feel bad for someone who chooses drugs over their family. Addiction can only be used as an excuse for so long. Make the choice what’s more important to you.

@edithandlez

Жыл бұрын

@@jollysteffenYeah i don’t think people have to understand addiction to come to the conclusion that they don’t want to be with an addict. You’re a silly goose.

@sharona2850

Жыл бұрын

Probably the most ignorant comment i've ever read LOL.

@blueseptember2174

Жыл бұрын

@@jollysteffen no they do understand. You give time to change but there comes a day your heart breaks but you have to move forward if they are unwilling. Addicts destroy their families and we hurt from what they've done.

@aprilchow-chee5281

Жыл бұрын

​@@jollysteffenjust because we understand something doesn't mean we have to accept it as the end. How do you think people get help? Because they choose to!

@missyfrank880

Жыл бұрын

@@jollysteffen I guess you can keep enabling addicts, coddle them and tell them it’s not their fault, and give them money to pick up more drugs to fuel their addiction.

Pulling a geographic is just another lie; no matter where ya go, there ya are!! It's a cycle that will repeat itself unless he gets to the bottom of the real deal; GET A SPONSER!!

"I don't have a sponsor, I call my buddies". The same buddies he drinks with no doubt. This guy isn't serious or ready to stop drinking, he just doesn't want to lose his partner and family.

@jeromehenry4484

11 ай бұрын

I have doubts he really goes to AA because the first thing AA does is get you a sponsor, especially if you have already been to rehab.

Why do I get the feeling that this guy has been somewhat of a functioning alcoholic for nearly two decades and he's basically gotten worse since covid and then after Covid he decides to get his life together and then he relaxes every couple of months. In addition and let's be real here she's probably been used to him being a functioning alcoholic where he's not being abusive not being a total drunk but just him using alcohol as way to numb his pain and problems. And then when covid happened it got worse to the point where he had to go out of state and get help and then he finally got himself together then he relapsed every couple of months and his wife and his son who I'm guessing is probably 14 or 15 or 15 or 16 since him and his wife have been together for 17 years have said they've had enough we're done and we're not going to do it. He knows his wife is not going to wait until he's fully sober and I guarantee it probably during the time of his alcoholism getting worse she started mentally checking out of the marriage and the son probably started checking out of the whole family dynamic with his dad to begin with. This is a guy who needs individual therapy he might need to consider talking to his wife and saying hey I think it's time for us to either look at starting over someplace else or we might need to go into more intense counseling for the both of us. Not to mention individual therapy for the both of us because I don't want to end our marriage but I also don't want us to come back together and then we fall right back into the same old. Not to mention his family's probably at the verge of being done with him altogether

I love your acceptance, validation but also accountability. The kindest way to be toward others ❤

Im jealous of people that have extra time on their hands. Raising a family is time consuming. Where do they find all this extra time?

@tstanley01

Жыл бұрын

By delegating those duties to the wife! LOL

@edithandlez

Жыл бұрын

They have slaves working for them

@Lil-Whiskies

Жыл бұрын

By not being available for healthy family interaction.

@manifest2203

Жыл бұрын

By making the wife do all the parenting.

@thecramptons

11 ай бұрын

😂😂😂

You know it’s a tough call when John goes shooo Tu Tu Tu

My best friend lost 2 kids to alcohol addiction. No amount of rehab helped them. They wanted the lifestyle and partying.

@sarcodonblue2876

Жыл бұрын

That is so sad 😭. I hope your friend is doing better.

Even when someone is doing what theu are supposed to be doing, I think it must be exhausting to be eith someone in "recovery".

They say death to your part, but when there's an alcoholic run. My wife's alcoholic She will pick the booze over anything and the booze picks her.. All I can say is run no fixing that. They will convince you that you're the one that's messed up. Stop definitely not healthy.

He is talking about what is hard for him and I'm sure things are but he has NOT taking into account how hard his actions have impacted his family. He's not ready to taste the hitting of that rock bottom dirt.

It sounds like he needs some deep reflection.. He said he knows what he did AFTER the fact.. he might do well to keep that in the forefront of his mind so he doesn't keep taking the same path. Maybe his wife / son leaving will be the final push to make him want to change for good.

I wish he could listen to “The easy way to control your alcohol” by Allen Carr. It’s life changing.

@sarahsincerely2.0

Жыл бұрын

I'm about to order his book but to quit completely, I just heard about it, glad you recommend it too. Thanks

My mom left my dad same reason, I’ll always be so grateful to her for that

Accountability = healthy relationships.

I really wish him all the best. He sounds like he really wants this, and even if it takes some white-knuckling to get through it, I bet he can do it.

Please go to AA and get people around you. Addiction is so horrible not only to the abuser but everyone person around them. 😢

Honestly drug addicts Luke to play the victim and want everyone to feel bad for them but what about the love ones they hurt and let down that dis not deserve it.

If Sean is not doing basic human self-care like running, moving his body, eating a good diet etc., than recovering from alcohlism would be very challenging when he is experiencing those low moods. Sometimes its not about the story or ruminating on what happened because when you dip into those low moods, you'll find a story to ruminate on. He needs to start taking care of himself, put healthy stress on his body so he feels the rewards and to get all those good hormones into his body. Addiction is addressing mind + body + spirit all together.

He needs to get with a therapist to talk to. Then he can deal with the underly issues in a healthy way and environment.

His grandpa was probably old. Unless his grandpa raised him drinking over any of your grandparents death is just an excuse to get drunk.

Can anyone in the comments let me know how to call in the show? Is there a specific phone number to call at a certain time? I have a question to ask the doc.

@sarahsincerely2.0

Жыл бұрын

Yeah he does a live show during the week set your notifications on and tune in grab the number and call the next day and try to get on. God Bless

@samuelcohen2362

Жыл бұрын

@@sarahsincerely2.0 Thank you so much

@flashthecorgi2053

Жыл бұрын

It is in the description of this video. I would link it for you but YT won’t let me put a website or phone number.

@flashthecorgi2053

Жыл бұрын

@@samuelcohen2362just click the title my wife moved out because of my addiction and it the description will pop up.

@samuelcohen2362

Жыл бұрын

Thank you I found the number. I will try and call when I can 👍

Recovery 2.0 join

on another note, John is looking hot today! (insert flame emoji here!)

Going to Moses Lake this weekend, gonna find him and give him a hug

I'm horrible. All I'm thinking is..Dude, smoke a joint instead.

😢

Oh sheesh

Smoke some weed people

@joesillamanrs7189

Жыл бұрын

“Stay STONE(D) sober” is what I heard.

@jesus1stsatan2nd

Жыл бұрын

@@joesillamanrs7189 he wouldn't have these problems tho if he was a pothead lol weed doesnt make you black out

@StephaniePasq-hg7vt

19 күн бұрын

I have plenty of first hand experience with alcoholism, from multiple people in my life. Believe me, trying to drink less by smoking more instead is not at all a solution.

Oh Gah I was with someone for 8 years always breaking up and getting back together. We are friend's now but we started to set boundaries with each other. I wanted to get help first I remember going to church with my friend which didn't help much but that's when my ex wanted to get help that night we left church. lol! Go figure because he is anti-church and I am now to but we are both getting help and making better choices. He started SMART Recovery and has a counselor (still struggles with gabapentin addiction but got off Kratom) I struggle with weed mostly and alcohol a little bit...Tried AA realized it wasn't for me because of the "poor me I will always be an addict I need to go to AA constantly 90 meetings a day." Not saying it WON'T work for others but don't feel bad if it doesn't work for you but if you don't go please get help in other ways...like this man says BOREDOM is a killer. The thing is man you keep doing way too much which I used to do also CR, childhood past, AA, etc etc etc. Focus on your goals I've been sober and just got my Food Handler Certificate which took 9 hrs because I was writing everything down and ended up getting 90 percent on it. lol! I focused on one thing at a time. Also know you have a choice to! A friend of mine was sober but her husband wasn't (alcoholoic) but when they moved to the mountains it changed his life forever and he got sober. Move away from friend's or family that is going to tare you down or drinks with you. It's why it's hard for me to stay sober sometimes to because in my apartment they do drugs. Having a sponsor is very very smart it helped me so much. Dr. Deloney says AA but just a suggestion try and do SMART recovery and see how that works. You got this man you may fail at times but you got this! Also don't be afraid to get to that 4th and 5th step many people get scared and leave I have and don't be scarred to get to that 12th step. I'm telling you you got this. Alcohol is so much fun until it isn't. Just because your family or friend's never treated you bad doesn't mean you yourself didn't if you read the AA book or listen to others in AA sometimes nothing bad happened at all they have stories in the book about that.