My eating disorder you've never heard of

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  • @serafinakim8634
    @serafinakim86343 жыл бұрын

    I didn't even realize how lucky I was every time I had a bite of food until now. I didn't know that people had problems like these, thank you for letting me know! Malinda you're really, really strong and you have so much joy inside of you, inside of your songs and your content. Even though I'm only twelve, I'm so appreciative of you! Please care for yourself and know you're not alone in this, xoxo

  • @HDGamerofficial

    @HDGamerofficial

    3 жыл бұрын

    Yeah that’s actually insane, I hope everyone with ARFID can get help and get through it 😁😁😁

  • @cmcofficial1964

    @cmcofficial1964

    3 жыл бұрын

    ARFID is just people faking it for attention

  • @elagalili1614

    @elagalili1614

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@cmcofficial1964 how would you know? you've obviously never experienced AFRID or any other mental illness if you say that, because usually it's so hard to get help, *because* people are afraid that this is what other people will think of them. yea, there are people who fake mental illnesses for attention, but you'll never see someone with real mental illness telling literally everyone about it and posting it on social media like every day, as people who seek attention will do. so please don't say things like that. if you didn't experience it, don't guess it's for attention. it actually hurts

  • @taran.2835

    @taran.2835

    3 жыл бұрын

    Jeremy Galloway You have CLEARLY never experienced AFRID, research on it and learn. people go through this and it is NOT a good feeling.

  • @toadflaxflower

    @toadflaxflower

    3 жыл бұрын

    Thank y'all for supporting people with arfid like me. This disorder doesn't really go away, but we can learn how to eat more foods and manage it. It's sweet that instead of just being surprised, you realize your privileges (even if they're just due to genetics) and are grateful for being able to eat without feeling uncomfortable about how your senses feel

  • @Malinda
    @Malinda3 жыл бұрын

    At 1:03 yes I meant “DO NOT USE this video to diagnose yourself.” That’s really important. I've benefited from those who have shared their stories, so I decided to share mine. I hope it's helpful to someone xx

  • @Hiidontknowwutimdoing

    @Hiidontknowwutimdoing

    3 жыл бұрын

    ok

  • @Catticus

    @Catticus

    3 жыл бұрын

    Thanks super much this is so helpful 💛

  • @ingvildkvakestad

    @ingvildkvakestad

    3 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for sharing your story

  • @bri3915

    @bri3915

    3 жыл бұрын

    I've been waiting so long for you to post I love you stay strong

  • @zoex2875

    @zoex2875

    3 жыл бұрын

    It will be. Not for me but for someone. Thank you, well done 💗

  • @andyking894
    @andyking8943 жыл бұрын

    This is no joke: that "gradually watermelon" line takes on a whole new meaning, now. I hope that wasn't too stressful to record.😘

  • @christiemarie8748

    @christiemarie8748

    3 жыл бұрын

    Oh oh my

  • @hmmmmmnmmmmmm

    @hmmmmmnmmmmmm

    3 жыл бұрын

    oh OH

  • @rebekahlundin8401
    @rebekahlundin84013 жыл бұрын

    she thinks of us as her little sibling! That is the best thing I have ever heard!

  • @gamegirlcz1697
    @gamegirlcz16973 жыл бұрын

    I'm glad that you got used to apples, mangos, and gradually, watermelon

  • @shoujokadyan5502

    @shoujokadyan5502

    3 жыл бұрын

    I was looking for a comment like this!

  • @TwoABattery

    @TwoABattery

    3 жыл бұрын

    *wheeze*

  • @stephanie1733

    @stephanie1733

    3 жыл бұрын

    Greatest comment ever

  • @aucore3634

    @aucore3634

    3 жыл бұрын

    i'm speechless. this is perfect.

  • @moonjennie4002

    @moonjennie4002

    3 жыл бұрын

    🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @graceehall_
    @graceehall_3 жыл бұрын

    Wow, Malinda saying that her thoughts aren’t her real self really hit me hard. That way of phrasing it really helps me look at my mental health and thought processes in a totally new way.

  • @Wurby

    @Wurby

    3 жыл бұрын

    That's one of the most useful things I've learned in therapy: We are not our thoughts, feelings, or emotions. We are what we do.

  • @Future_Pheonix

    @Future_Pheonix

    3 жыл бұрын

    Maybe you'd benefit from therapy then, since It's something you hear often in therapy for certain things. I've heard it many times before in therapy.

  • @medd-lee

    @medd-lee

    3 жыл бұрын

    Awkward recommendation, but you might enjoy sanders sides. It's a more... fantastical way? I guess? to see what these kind of thoughts and what kind of help actually does help. I reccomend therapy as well, It's much more individualized and even more helpful - but that series could help illustrate it further if you're interested in understanding what you're experiencing and just how *okay* you really are. some help and some coaching would be a great way to get going.

  • @etherealsoliloquy

    @etherealsoliloquy

    3 жыл бұрын

    Medd-Lee Sanders Sides really do be helpful tho

  • @sarahd9074
    @sarahd90743 жыл бұрын

    my 9 year old brother has arfid and gad, he cried when I showed him this video. You are NOT alone. It’s been 1 year since he got diagnosed and he is stronger than ever and he’s at a healthy weight for the first time in his life. If he can do it, you can too 💜💪

  • @breerichins7455
    @breerichins74553 жыл бұрын

    I just wanted to thank you. This video helped me to get diagnosed with ARFID, something I’ve struggled with my whole life but never knew the name of. Thank you.

  • @idontevenknowwhy3655
    @idontevenknowwhy36553 жыл бұрын

    “It had a name and we had a plan” Some people say that it won't matter if/when i get diagnosed with aspergers because they won't treat me any differently But they don't understand that i just want to know And this quote Is what i try to explain every time my mum or my teachers say that they don't understand why it matters so much to me

  • @fictional-girl_05

    @fictional-girl_05

    3 жыл бұрын

    You probably won't be diagnosed with Asperger's, because it's not called Asperger's anymore. If you're diagnosed it would be ASD level 1. I was diagnosed last spring (2019) And I understand. It affects me and I just wanted to know.

  • @idontevenknowwhy3655

    @idontevenknowwhy3655

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@fictional-girl_05 ASD level 1? Why do I suddenly feel like a superhero?

  • @fictional-girl_05

    @fictional-girl_05

    3 жыл бұрын

    i don't even know why Because we’re awesome

  • @idontevenknowwhy3655

    @idontevenknowwhy3655

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@fictional-girl_05 hell yeah!

  • @marQP2

    @marQP2

    3 жыл бұрын

    This.

  • @e.marshall5735
    @e.marshall57353 жыл бұрын

    My friend just confessed to having an eating disorder and I was completely broken when she said she had it for months and hadn't told anybody. I was so sad that she had to go through all those months by herself. I was so happy when she told me because I wanted to help her in any way possible. I'm so glad that you found help and you are getting better Malinda. We all love and care about you.

  • @siriuslymentalthatone2528

    @siriuslymentalthatone2528

    3 жыл бұрын

    So how is she?

  • @e.marshall5735

    @e.marshall5735

    3 жыл бұрын

    Lottie Wolf She’s doing a lot better now that her parents have got her to therapy and she’s started to miss her favorite desserts 😅

  • @siriuslymentalthatone2528

    @siriuslymentalthatone2528

    3 жыл бұрын

    Kittygirl I am so glad to hear that!

  • @c.stohr14

    @c.stohr14

    3 жыл бұрын

    I share a similar story with a close friend of mine and I want to show this video to her to let her know she's not alone but I don't want her to get upset by it. Do you think it would be better for me to not send it to her or do you think she might be reassured by it? If you don't have an answer that's ok too, I just want to help her as much as possible :)

  • @roosterbooster5011

    @roosterbooster5011

    2 жыл бұрын

    Hey. I’m probably late, just anted to get this out there. I have benn supporting my friend with depression, anxiety and gender dysphoria for years. Make sure you get help for yourself. I thought I was fine until a few months ago, when depression and anxiety hit me like a ton of bricks. I’ve learnt how to cope with it, and I’m getting therapy soon. It’s always important to not sacrifice too much of yourself for someone else, so you can still regenerate that part to keep it going. Just wanted to say that. : )

  • @theonlyenekoeneko
    @theonlyenekoeneko3 жыл бұрын

    I have ARFID. For me it’s directly related to Autism. I didn’t know it had a name, that others had this. I also thought I was just extremely picky. So-called picky eaters might kick a fuss about certain foods, but it’s even more than that for me. Like you, I gag and have nausea and sometimes even vomit in the presence of foods I don’t eat. Sometimes I can’t work out how to even swallow the food, it’s like my brain forgets what to do, which makes it really unpleasant. The pandemic had restricted my foods even more to just two safe foods. It’s extremely hard to live with. I’m trying so much to work toward eating from my previous list of safe foods, and then eventually expanding out to new foods (but that’s a long term goal). My dietitian is really patient with me which is a relief. She usually works with Autistic kids, but of course there aren’t any dieticians specifically or Autistic adults (what else is new). Thanks for sharing your story.

  • @bernienelson8926

    @bernienelson8926

    3 жыл бұрын

    I'm autistic too and I think I might have ARFID. I'd never heard of it until this video. I'm pretty picky about what I eat (and how I eat it, with particular cutlery and dishes etc) but after watching this, and reading comments like yours, this is ringing a whole lot of bells. There are certain foods I stopped eating because they gave me panic attacks. I used to love grapes, but could only ever eat them with a paring knife and a pair of tweezers to pull the seeds and stems out because I'm convinced they're dangerous. Now I can't eat them at all. Sometimes I'll be in the middle of a meal, in the middle of a mouthful, and I'll become convinced that my food has bugs in it and I'll have to spit it onto the plate. Sometimes it'll just suddenly taste wrong, like it's gone off in my mouth, and I have to spit it out. I kept putting this down to my autism and paranoid psychosis, but ARFID seems to explain that much better... I also get panicky when I eat out, and I'll always check a restaurant's menu to make sure they have my 'safe' outside foods (chicken schnitzel or fish and chips) otherwise I won't eat there. I also get incredibly nervous if I have to chnlange brands or varieties of foods, and my Mum learned to always warn me if ingredients had changed otherwise I thought she was poisoning me. We put that down to psychosis as well. But I'm definitely going to look into ARFID.

  • @bernienelson8926

    @bernienelson8926

    3 жыл бұрын

    There's also my intense urge to brush my teeth and tongue after eating some foods, to the point that my mouth bleeds.

  • @theonlyenekoeneko

    @theonlyenekoeneko

    3 жыл бұрын

    Natalie Tyler I hope you can find a dietitan and psychologist that can help you. It’s a long path to working through it, and definitely be careful as my dietitan explained to me that if I am forced to eat something I’m not keen for I’ll never eat it again. Which looking back at how I got here rings true. When my dietitan explained to me that I have ARFID, it all made sense. Much more than anything else. Good luck to you. Be gentle with yourself x

  • @keyaunna.

    @keyaunna.

    3 жыл бұрын

    i’m about to get a dietician too!!

  • @hah-no.

    @hah-no.

    2 жыл бұрын

    Yeah, my list of foods I eat are very slim, and it doesn’t help that my patterns consist so rigidly of the same food every morning. Waffles for breakfast. Bagel for lunch. I whatever me for dinner from the five options we usually have. I’m tryna get back into eating… well, other things, but they always make me feel awful later cuz I abstain from them so much my body isn’t used to it. Yeah, even if my body’s “healthy”, I might wanna check that out (I’m autistic as well,) oops.

  • @EGraf
    @EGraf3 жыл бұрын

    "I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."

  • @a1exdanvers816

    @a1exdanvers816

    3 жыл бұрын

    I love Dune!!

  • @ghostprince9247

    @ghostprince9247

    3 жыл бұрын

    Who do i feel like that sounds like a harry potter quote? XD

  • @theblessedpotatoes1865

    @theblessedpotatoes1865

    3 жыл бұрын

    Sounds like something Kunikida Doppi would say 😂😂

  • @katieroth3878

    @katieroth3878

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@ghostprince9247 it does sound like that! Veronica Roth said in an interview that she imagines Tris repeating this to herself during Dauntless Initiation. (divergent, if u haven't read it, I highly recommend!)

  • @itschubbybunny6104

    @itschubbybunny6104

    3 жыл бұрын

    Yet sometimes fear is needed, or we would all be dead from certain situations

  • @Mochi-rh9nu
    @Mochi-rh9nu3 жыл бұрын

    I have most of these “symptoms “ too from anxiety..... woah.

  • @WyxienTheFox

    @WyxienTheFox

    3 жыл бұрын

    Same. And I have anorexia on top of it.

  • @bellsandwhistless

    @bellsandwhistless

    3 жыл бұрын

    Winter aquius get help. Go to a therapist!!!

  • @WyxienTheFox

    @WyxienTheFox

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@bellsandwhistless Trust me, I want to. But I haven't found one I like yet.

  • @Garamredwood

    @Garamredwood

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@WyxienTheFox Finding a therapist that you click with is so hard sometimes! I find journaling is very helpful, or saying outloud "I am afraid because..." and knowing what it is and why for yourself can really be beneficial

  • @eduardagouveia4480

    @eduardagouveia4480

    3 жыл бұрын

    hope all of gets better soon

  • @angelikajuhasz2995
    @angelikajuhasz29953 жыл бұрын

    Today was one of my worst days in a while. My gramma's funeral was today and it was horrible, I felt like I have no place in the world anymore. I'm an only child and my parents have been distant since they found out I'm gay. When you said "...I imagine you all like my little sister..." I broke down crying. It's 23:22 where I live and I'm sobbing in front of my laptop because this whole day you saying those few words were the only thing that made me happy. So thank you.

  • @mayajoy7248

    @mayajoy7248

    3 жыл бұрын

    I'm so sorry you're going through that. Our little community is always here for you

  • @gabzwithazed

    @gabzwithazed

    3 жыл бұрын

    We’re all here for you little brother, sister or sibling! We all love you just the way you are and there is always a hole in your heart for your gramma. We all love you!

  • @k0pstl939

    @k0pstl939

    3 жыл бұрын

    ❤💛💚💙💜

  • @vanillad1346

    @vanillad1346

    3 жыл бұрын

    Yo! You got this! My grandfather (i think idk if he is i never really did much with him) died last year and ever since my moms mental health really went down cause that uhhh grandfather of mine was very special to her so uhhh i know how it feels to loose someone you love! Also no matter what your sexuallity is, what skincollor you have or anything else, you are special! There is only one of you! Im sorry you are going through this! And i wish you the best of luck! Im bisexual and i also feel pretty left out from many people i told.... its like they are scared of us! But oh well.... We only live once so might aswell make the best of it! -Vanilla Cookie

  • @eiraska3178

    @eiraska3178

    3 жыл бұрын

    Hey, I just want to say I feel you. My best person died when I was 17. And my family just became more and more distant since I was diagnosed with borderline, ocd and ptsd. And I know how much it means for someone to say that we are not alone. Its not the same situation, I find it similar in that aspect tho. People look at me like I'm broken and/or like Im pretending. Much love to you!

  • @Chyllstorm
    @Chyllstorm3 жыл бұрын

    Malinda: "Mental health.... revolution, or... awakening? Er, I don't know what this word is..." Me: "Don't worry, I'll check with Google translate!" ... (P.S. Google says you were searching for "take off".) (P.P.S. I'm disabled from Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I feel you.)

  • @andreah9587
    @andreah95873 жыл бұрын

    Holy shit, this is me. Definitely don’t have as severe a reaction as you, but still similar. I was just labeled a “picky eater” my whole life and no one understood why I couldn’t just “get over it” and eat food like everyone else. I have a very limited palate because I feel such deep fear and nausea when around or attempting to eat most foods. I’ll actually cry and gag if someone tries to make me eat it. Sometimes I don’t feel like eating anything in the house and I won’t eat all day, making me very fatigued. I have been diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome and generalized anxiety disorder, so that’s probably why. I found out about ARFID a while ago but I wasn’t sure it was a real thing or if I should tell anyone until now. Thank you so much for telling your story, and I hope we can both conquer our fears of other foods! You and I can do this, Melinda!!! 💞💖💝💓

  • @allisonyoung9371

    @allisonyoung9371

    3 жыл бұрын

    I have autism too and food aversions ("pickiness") are super common and your reactions are totally normal. I also have trouble eating foods that trigger my sensory issues and will gag until I stop eating the food. It's fun when your parents still try and force you to eat the food that's making you sick. All you can do is eat what you can, manipulate the foods you don't like into something you can tolerate, and the stuff you can't tolerate can get bent.

  • @andreah9587

    @andreah9587

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@allisonyoung9371 my parenst don't force me anymore, but they are trying to introduce me to new foods. I know they mean well :) thank you for your kind words and advice! I'll keep them in mind ^w^

  • @ais.is.here.2836

    @ais.is.here.2836

    Жыл бұрын

    I’m the exact same like when I try to try foods I gag a lot and cry and stuff yk? I’m hopefully going to someone to see if I have it maybe get a diagnosis

  • @aoifefaithmaplesden7559
    @aoifefaithmaplesden75593 жыл бұрын

    I have ARFID. It... Sucks. Especially since no one’s heard of it.

  • @cococovers1333

    @cococovers1333

    3 жыл бұрын

    stay strong❤️

  • @swimmybearc4247

    @swimmybearc4247

    3 жыл бұрын

    I have it too, and I just wished I was diagnosed sooner

  • @Malinda

    @Malinda

    3 жыл бұрын

    High five we got this ✋🏻

  • @aoifefaithmaplesden7559

    @aoifefaithmaplesden7559

    3 жыл бұрын

    MALINDA Hell yeah, we do! ❤️

  • @swimmybearc4247

    @swimmybearc4247

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@Malinda Yeah we got this!!

  • @justineberlein5916
    @justineberlein59163 жыл бұрын

    I can relate to the "It sounds made up" aspect with things like time blindness and stereoblindness. Time blindness: You know how you might doze off for five minutes, and suddenly an hour has passed? Picture that, but you're awake Stereoblindness: Imagine if you could only view the world through a phone camera, so you only get depth from things like parallax

  • @CJ-iz3mp

    @CJ-iz3mp

    3 жыл бұрын

    Time blindness makes NO SENSE to neurotypicals

  • @sleepyote

    @sleepyote

    3 жыл бұрын

    I dissociate a lot so I get time blindness.

  • @chancepricee
    @chancepricee3 жыл бұрын

    The idea of finding out there’s a name for what you’re experiencing is literally the most relieving thing in the world. So glad you were able to do the same!!!

  • @stephanietaylor6069
    @stephanietaylor60693 жыл бұрын

    I.... I don’t know what to say. I have severe ARFID. So I guess I’m just thankful for this. I have no words how much I appreciate this. I have followed you from your KZread beginnings and just the idea that someone I do look up to and admire could struggle with the same thing and be open about it..... it means the world to me. You’ll likely never see this but I just wanted to say, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

  • @danieljferguson
    @danieljferguson3 жыл бұрын

    I had no idea this was a thing, but I remember a period of my childhood where, seemingly out of nowhere, I developed a fear of choking. Eating was a nightmare, and I always dreaded it because I thought something bad would happen to me. I resorted to drinking these chocolate meal-replacement drinks, which caused me to lose a lot of weight and become pale. My parents took me to a doctor to get x-rays to prove there wasn't anything wrong with me. I always felt embarrassed as if I was the only person in the world who had this problem. Thank you for sharing and raising awareness of this!

  • @bc6399

    @bc6399

    3 жыл бұрын

    Daniel Ferguson II wonder if your sudden fear of choking is somehow rooted in something that happened to you as a very small child. I had kind of a similar thing, but it was because of my doctor being rough with a tongue depressor in my mouth.

  • @danieljferguson

    @danieljferguson

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@bc6399 I think maybe it was from something I saw on TV. But it just happened one night while eating dinner with my family. I just became fixated on the idea of choking, and I couldn't get over it.

  • @Vhizz125

    @Vhizz125

    3 жыл бұрын

    I've heard of both. That sounds terrible for a person who loves food. Or anyone who's hungry. I know these are triggered by expirience of something.

  • @crazyowlgirlcncowner

    @crazyowlgirlcncowner

    3 жыл бұрын

    That happened to me for like a year when I was in Elementary school. I would hardly eat anything because I had seen some person on the news that had died from choking on his food. Then I was really afraid of eating. I don't even remember why/ how I stopped being afraid.

  • @glue6679

    @glue6679

    3 жыл бұрын

    Hi Danny! I'm sorry about that. So glad she's raising awareness as well.

  • @irrelevantpotato2348
    @irrelevantpotato23483 жыл бұрын

    To all of you saying that you have problems like this: Hope y'all get better soon

  • @casperday1397

    @casperday1397

    3 жыл бұрын

    Thanks mate : )

  • @calciummother

    @calciummother

    3 жыл бұрын

    I appreciate the sentiment, but with things like ARFID we don't really "get better," we just learn to cope and hope to expand our eating webs. Sorry to be a downer, I have ARFID and it's a pain in the ass sometimes, lmao. Spreading love and positivity

  • @clarkoncomputers
    @clarkoncomputers3 жыл бұрын

    7:10 OMG gradually watermelon, she actually at one point went "gradually watermelon"!!! And she completed it!!! So nice! Gradually every food Malinda!

  • @ameliagorringe5529
    @ameliagorringe55293 жыл бұрын

    I have been to so many health professionals over the years. No one understood my relationship with food, but finally, I found a doctor able to diagnose me. I have ARFID. I have never met a single person who goes through what I go through with food, but this... you took the words out of my mouth. It's nice to know I'm not struggling alone, and that I can overcome my anxieties, even if I have to take baby steps.

  • @brianna094

    @brianna094

    8 ай бұрын

    I understand ❤ It leads you to feel disconnected from others at times because it feels isolating to not be able to derive the same pleasure from food and to live a normal life. It's crucial to practice self acceptance and make mental health a priority. I hope you're doing well!

  • @coyotix
    @coyotix3 жыл бұрын

    Knowing that people are talking about their problems and mistakes and weird things about them makes me feel better that I’m weird, it makes me feel less strange. When I say weird, I don’t mean physically, but I mean like, My friends have all these jokes and memes that I’m left out of, and it makes me feel like something’s wrong with me that keeps them from being friends with me, or Keeping me out of groups. And it doesn’t hurt very much to most people, I’m just a lot more emotional.

  • @catzillapurrfect4526

    @catzillapurrfect4526

    3 жыл бұрын

    It makes you feel like your not alone, that everybody goes through these problems. It gives you comfort.

  • @coyotix

    @coyotix

    3 жыл бұрын

    Catzilla Purrfect yes.

  • @roiaknin

    @roiaknin

    3 жыл бұрын

    You're never alone. Love

  • @kaitlin6184

    @kaitlin6184

    3 жыл бұрын

    Animus Gacha Gurls oh my goodness I’m the same way. Especially because I have no sense of style at all, I feel even more odd

  • @anna-maymoon1001

    @anna-maymoon1001

    3 жыл бұрын

    I know it sucks right now but you'll find the people you vibe with soon ❤ I went through 3 "friend groups" before I found my platonic loves for life, I was 17 by the time I found them. (Almost 25 now and we're still super close!) You'll find each other, sometimes it just takes going 'fuck it I'll join that club I'm really interested in even tho it terrifies me' and then you'll stumble on them. I'm rooting for you and I know you got this ❤

  • @drawwithdan5821
    @drawwithdan58213 жыл бұрын

    Malinda, just look at these comments. In doing what you've done here, you've enabled so many more people to open up and get some release! Thank you Malinda, and be strong and look after yourself, you are doing great :)

  • @durdleduc8520
    @durdleduc85203 жыл бұрын

    i wasn’t expecting that turn in the last quarter of the video. I avoided watching for the last few hours that it’s been out because i just got home from some (non-serious) medical operations and didn’t have the mental capacity. but i love you as a creator, and being as young as i am, creators like you are an opportunity to connect with my empathy again and to learn more about the different problems that other people experience. it makes me feel as if i understand humanity a little bit better. the “younger sister” comment really tugged my heartstrings. maybe it’s because i am a youngest sister, and i understand that connection and how warm and personal it can be. for a moment, i felt like i was being directly spoken to. that’s not a connection i normally get online through youtube videos, so i guess it caught me off guard. let’s share stories. here’s mine: i am a 14 year old girl who, in the past year, has developed a suspicion that i may be dealing with some sort of mental disorder. emotionally, i was a late bloomer, and had trouble controlling myself among my peers. i was throwing tantrums in 4th grade. i was being sent out the classroom to cower and sob under a desk in 5th grade. and i was trained to believe, with all my heart, that it was my fault. i needed discipline. i needed to learn control. compliance, even. i was broken and i was supposed to fix myself. this type of emotional instability continued through middle school, even if not exactly dramatic. i had a fear of bullies. bullies who, in the grand scheme of things, seemed tame. no pushing or physical harm, just passing words. words that, in a moment, could suddenly overwhelm me, and on all sides i would feel out of control. so i would leave. i would leave to cry in the bathroom where no one is seeing. in 7th grade, i was half-skipped up to 8. it’s a small school, so they don’t have the space to create advanced courses. half a dozen kids per grade at most. i didn’t feel safe around the 8th graders, either. small classroom events would happen, probably forgetful for all kids, and would leave me with a sour taste in my mouth (or even completely floored) for the rest of the day. weekly. in 9th, the grade i just finished, i fully skipped up into that class. i’m suspicious of ADHD. possibly even ASD, and definitely a phobia of wasps that has slowly faded away over time. both ADHD and ASD are in my family- an ADHD mother and middle sister, a (possible) ASD father and eldest sister. which should be great! the only ones without diagnosis are with me and my father. surely it means i can identify and tackle symptoms easier and get them dealt with. the anxietal attacks stopped when i stopped going to school (due to quarantine.) at least, the evident ones. sometimes i would have an interaction with family that finds me sobbing ten minutes later with no explanation. sometimes i get jittery from nerves, or lose my ability to do anything more than minutes at a time, and need to drink tea to sooth myself (caffeine has been known to help sooth symptoms of ADHD and has a calming flavor in general. inversely, strong food coloring can exacerbate symptoms, especially in small children, which is probably where the myth of sugar making kids hard to handle comes from. my mom reportedly has watched me react to brightly colored candy in this way, and is probably why she avoided feeding me any.) it hurts when people say that i probably have learned to control my symptoms and that i’m not in need of diagnosis. because, when i go to school, i am _scared._ scared of malice, of people who only want to get reactions out of me. do they exist? probably not in the numbers i imagine. but i lock down anyway, because i don’t want anyone to say something that will cause a reaction on my part. i’ve probably lost a lot of friendship opportunities because of it. online friends are my only savior from loneliness. isolated from my own sob stories, though, i’ve watched you for maybe a year, probably more. your skills and creations inspire the theatre and music enthusiast in me that can’t often rear its head. you’re probably a factor in my ability to be featured in school plays at all. you’re inspiring, and the attitude you put on for the camera feels genuine. it reminds me of what i want to be like. i hope you haven’t had to fake that. thank you for being an older sister. i accept the adoption. furthermore, thank you for creating, for being a direct inspiration towards my hobbies, for reminding me of my own ability. thank you for making this video. for opening up about this experience, for making me just a bit more wiser to the neurodivergency out there. p.s., i can be picky too. i’m very unattracted to the texture of fruit that i didn’t grow up eating. i hope your body learns to accept strawberries. they’re my favorite.

  • @JTdude63452
    @JTdude634523 жыл бұрын

    I have struggled with ARFID all of my life, so I completely understand what you are going through. It’s so terrible having people not able to understand why you don’t eat “like a normal person” and there are only so many foods which you are comfortable. I think it is such an under discussed topic, as people just think you need to “get over it” and try new foods, even though that’s like asking us to stab ourselves with a knife or needle.

  • @Catticus
    @Catticus3 жыл бұрын

    This is actually making me cry because there is so much wrong with me but I just can't admit it

  • @coolandonrs3680

    @coolandonrs3680

    3 жыл бұрын

    Just take it a step at a time, and do what you need to. Good luck with whatever your going through.

  • @elechronic

    @elechronic

    3 жыл бұрын

    You just did :) that's step 1

  • @hannahh8119

    @hannahh8119

    3 жыл бұрын

    Hey there! I hope you'll feel better soon! Just remember, it's not *you* that is wrong.

  • @mirazenker1203

    @mirazenker1203

    3 жыл бұрын

    Hey You! You are already doing so great by saying it here! You are strong, you will get through this ❤️

  • @thequeer_underthebed2535

    @thequeer_underthebed2535

    3 жыл бұрын

    Catticus. I know that feeling. Reach out to someone, someone close, and that someone can help you get either a therapist or someone professional that can help you. When I was in that spot I reached out to my parents, and when they refused cuz family stuff, I went to a friend. Whoever you feel safer with. It doesn’t have to be concrete, because if you feel safe enough to talk with them they will be there for you if you just need to rant or even if you need medical help. I know it’ll get better. It might not feel like it and you will probably cast aside these words, but it will. You are strong. Don’t let your emotions control you, don’t let your body control you. That’s the first and last step.

  • @kafi7169
    @kafi71693 жыл бұрын

    Oh my God I suffer from ARFID and it's SO HARD to live through every day, and going out or visiting friends or travelling is so hard that sometimes I'd rather just stay home on my own. It's better than choking on food and vomiting, and then having panic attacks just because I have to eat anything.

  • @mirazenker1203

    @mirazenker1203

    3 жыл бұрын

    I wish you all the best, you will get through this ❤️

  • @swimmybearc4247

    @swimmybearc4247

    3 жыл бұрын

    Traveling with ARFID is the worst. I just feel bad not being able to eat anything.

  • @juliabrooks1203

    @juliabrooks1203

    3 жыл бұрын

    This is exactly how it is for me too. I feel so seen.

  • @DodiTov

    @DodiTov

    3 жыл бұрын

    People? Can you swallow a tablet? If so, will you purchase a vitamin B complex tablet? It has been proven that panic attacks are exacerbated by a vitamin B lack. Given our diets, it is easy to become deficient without even knowing it, making the problem worse. For the price of a sandwich, vitamin B complex tablets are a very small price to pay to find out. It might take a couple of weeks for the full effect to kick in, but it might be worth a try. After all, vitamin B washes out of your system if you don't need it. It's water soluble, it's safe, and might help.

  • @elliedillon5417
    @elliedillon54173 жыл бұрын

    Malinda saying brother or sister then adding sibling made my day😊 she's so wholesome and inclusive🥰

  • @emilyjfreer2895
    @emilyjfreer28953 жыл бұрын

    I got diagnosed a few years ago with arfid after my entire life being filled with doctors appointments. It means so so much to me seeing this video, I feel less alone, this is the first time I’ve ever heard someone talk about it.

  • @dakker5292
    @dakker52923 жыл бұрын

    Interesting that you were (are?) afraid of watermelons, considering the running gag around here of ‘gradually watermelon’ and the watermelon bowls my wife crocheted for you. I am now hoping that the watermelon bowls are not a problem... or I’m also hoping that maybe the ‘gradually wartermelon’ joke maybe helped the healing of your fear of watermelons...

  • @bc6399

    @bc6399

    3 жыл бұрын

    dakker5292 MMaybe, she can gradually get over her problem with watermelons. Google Translate holds hidden messages. Maybe that’s one of them. Maybe before Malinda eats a watermelon, she should sing, “Gradually watermelon, gradually watermelon, gradually watermelon, gradually watermelon, gradually watermelon, gradually watermelon, gradually watermelon, gradually watermelon” several times, like a mantra.

  • @larsswig912

    @larsswig912

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@bc6399 i hope Google transtale mentions more foods, if this is the case There was "my soul? Mostly gingerbread"

  • @TwoABattery

    @TwoABattery

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@larsswig912 in the panic! At the disco video, it mentioned *ham week*

  • @machii976
    @machii9763 жыл бұрын

    I hope you're okay Malinda... Don't let it get to you!!

  • @Mikagurachan
    @Mikagurachan3 жыл бұрын

    When I was diagnosed with ARFID, I thought I’d never encounter anyone in my life who also has it. It brings me comfort that I’m not alone and we’ll manage it together. It wasn’t triggered until I was 11 but 11-14 were some of the hardest years. It was so hard to keep weight on my body and I was drained and miserable. I might be a little farther along in my journey, (I’m 21 now) and I promise you that with treatment it gets so much better. I barely even notice it now. Love you gal ❤️

  • @lunalovegood8931
    @lunalovegood89313 жыл бұрын

    You know this video literally just popped up in my recommended after I’d had a really horrible panic attack, it calmed me down a bit (sometimes even after it’s stopped or I manage to quell it I still feel a bit jittery) it’s really nice knowing that someone you look up to is going through the same or similar things that you are.

  • @1andonlyzara
    @1andonlyzara3 жыл бұрын

    The phrasing you were looking for was “raising of mental health awareness”.

  • @DanielSmith-pq4yc
    @DanielSmith-pq4yc3 жыл бұрын

    As a person with autism I can sympathise with you on food or just general textures and I also know exactly how bad anxiety can be and how it can really impact your life. Keep doing what you are doing your awesome and I love watching your videos.

  • @umalazoff4

    @umalazoff4

    3 жыл бұрын

    Yes!!

  • @jeffreyplum5259
    @jeffreyplum5259 Жыл бұрын

    I do not get hungry or thirsty. Growing up mealtimes were used to pin me down for reading me the riot act for every thing I did wrong over the lst six months. I had to eat what I was given and not talk back under any conditions. I learned to eat under fire and get out. At 18 I was 137 lbs, at 5'8". I now have learned to eat better, though mostly one meal a day. I still fight dehydration regularly. I studied eating disorders as a kid. I am glad you have fought thru your illness and my heart is with you.

  • @carolbedsaul5209

    @carolbedsaul5209

    Жыл бұрын

    P ko

  • @inerciasart
    @inerciasart3 жыл бұрын

    So I've always been a "picky eater" too. There's a lot of foods that I don't like and I eat "like a bird" (idk if you say that in other countries, but it means that I don't eat a lot). It's very weird for me to be hungry, and in summer is worse bc of the heat. I can spend hours without eating bc I don't feel hungry, and when I do feel hungry, I eat one bite and the feeling is gone. But as I live with my family, my mother makes me eat with them bc "she can't be cooking all day bc each one of us wants to eat at a different hour" and most days I end up eating even if I don't want to. With that information, I think you can guess I'm really thin. A few summers ago my mother started making coments about my weight and how I should eat more. She thought I had anorexia or something like that and said people would think she didn't feed me. At first I didn't care, but slowly those coments got into my brain and I started questioning about my weight and if I was healthy. I forced myself to eat more, and spoiler alert, it didn't end well. I felt SO BAD after every meal, I felt phisically ill. In a few days I realised how I was getting unhealthy eating habits bc I wanted to change my weight, so I decided to stop it and the next time my mother made a coment I told her that she was making me feel bad instead of helping. Now I eat what I feel like eating, but I know that period of my life affected the way I view myself and food. I'm more self aware than ever of my body weight and people's comments. I'm really sensitive about eating disorders and body shaming. And I HATE eating. It's just... If I didn't need it to survive, I wouldn't eat. It isn't an issue most days, but others is torture. I get so easily bored of food that I find myself playing with it instead of eating it. There's still a lot of foods I don't eat, and most times I leave something in the plate. And I hate having to stop doing whatever I'm doing to eat when I'm not even hungry

  • @ss.surprise

    @ss.surprise

    3 жыл бұрын

    Is it possible that your sense of taste is being understimulated so you're getting bored (are there enough spices, a variety of textures, a variety of flavours)? Also, counterintuitively, because you probably aren't eating often enough, your appetite keeps leaving as food stays in your stomach longer, so maybe it would help to try again to eat more, but at a more steady build-up (what I imagine happened before is you went from 0 to 100 then got sick so you fell back to 0 rather than taking small steps of eating one forkful more at first then two then three, slowly over time until you could easily eat everything without it being as challenging). Sometimes I get tired of my body needing food too but it needs fuel to run. It's a maintenance cost of me being me.

  • @loopsthefuneralmaster4728
    @loopsthefuneralmaster47283 жыл бұрын

    I went through something very similar in middle school, where I struggled with a severe irrational hatred of certain sounds, and sometimes even sights (shushing, breathing, lip smacking, tapping fingers, etc). At first I just thought this was just another one of my phases, since I had a history of hyper-focusing on something to the point where I couldn't stand it...But this one never went away. None of my classmates knew what was wrong with me, and sometimes, even outright bullied me for my situation. Things got so much better in high school though, where my math teacher recommended me to the school's counselor. I talked her through my situation, and she recommended me again to see a licensed therapist. A few weeks later, I found out what my disorder was, and that it had a name (misophonia). When I heard your story, I knew exactly what you were going through, even if I was a lot younger when I was on the receiving end of the worst of it. It's so inspiring though to see someone else take their disorder that's very related to anxiety (like mine) and not only get help, but be able to feel better and like they're living a normal life. Sending all the love to you during the rest of quarantine!

  • @xlaginger5098

    @xlaginger5098

    3 жыл бұрын

    I'm dealing with the sound thing now. I can't stand being in the same room with my dad while he is eating :( I think I have misophonia but my parents think I'm just being too "picky"

  • @calciummother

    @calciummother

    3 жыл бұрын

    I believe those are just symptoms of anxiety, since anxiety branches off into a lot of weird areas. I have anxiety and thought your symptoms (which I had/have) were something else, but my therapist informed me it was just my anxiety. Funky, right?

  • @loopsthefuneralmaster4728

    @loopsthefuneralmaster4728

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@calciummother tbh, I wouldn't be surprised in the slightest of my misophonia turned out to be a product of anxiety

  • @calistadevianof

    @calistadevianof

    3 жыл бұрын

    I have this too. I really hate that people not knowing this. Every time my family eats they always mock me by chewing hard, they said I’m just overreacting and seeking attention. It always makes me sad that they don’t understand and doesn’t care about mental health

  • @erinaa9486

    @erinaa9486

    3 жыл бұрын

    It might also be related to sensory processing disorder or autism spectrum disorder. Just something to look into

  • @Catticus
    @Catticus3 жыл бұрын

    You do not know how much this is helping me. Thanks so much.

  • @arsn-jv4tt
    @arsn-jv4tt3 жыл бұрын

    I’ve suffered from severe anxiety since I was very little and it sucks, I can’t talk to people, I can’t sleep sometimes, and I feel helpless a lot of the time. And for a while I didn’t know what it was and I just thought it was something everybody had. Can you imagine finding out the people around you aren’t feeling the same awful feelings you are? Anyways, school is starting up for me again pretty soon and I’m terrified. So many people in such small classrooms and so many changes! I’ve been having anxiety attacks a lot because of it, but honestly, seeing people like you opening up about mental health has helped so much! It makes me feel like less of a freak knowing that so many other people have anxiety and mental health conditions. I know you won’t see this, but thank you so much. Stay strong! ❤️

  • @flawed1
    @flawed13 жыл бұрын

    I’m 38 years old. I went through public school in Texas in the 90s in a wheelchair, and I can say without a doubt that what are you doing is brave. It’s brave to speak up and be honest like this.

  • @liv2049
    @liv20493 жыл бұрын

    My first instinct when i saw this video was to say "oh baby no, please no" you are amazing girl. You are doing the right thing by making this video. 💕💕

  • @MrSunny-tb3oo
    @MrSunny-tb3oo3 жыл бұрын

    I was gonna make a stupid joke but this video is too serious for that.

  • @brennan8930

    @brennan8930

    3 жыл бұрын

    I think I know what it would be, but, as you said, too serious.

  • @siegejaymoonii

    @siegejaymoonii

    3 жыл бұрын

    Good call.

  • @bibule

    @bibule

    3 жыл бұрын

    Do it !

  • @jackguhl4556

    @jackguhl4556

    3 жыл бұрын

    Sometimes we all need a little bit of happiness after this

  • @eshaaltariq2895

    @eshaaltariq2895

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@bibule It's not nice, trust me If he did it could be really rude

  • @ben_anton
    @ben_anton3 жыл бұрын

    I had severe depression, anxiety, and anorexia all through my childhood and adolescence. I was always sick, or tired and little things like loud chewing or a train could set me off to a panic attack. I was not able to make friends, or spend time with my family because of it. I didn’t get help until I was forced into a behavioral health ward after a suicide attempt. But didn’t continue or trust help until my 5th time at that hospital. I actually met my wife there that 5th time, and she helped me. Now we have a son named Xander and have been married for 4 years. I still have anxiety attacks at times, and there are days that feel hopeless but I have my wife, and my therapist. You have to accept help for it to work. Seeing these videos makes me wish I would have seeked help sooner. But thank you M, for telling us your story and being brave enough to get help.

  • @aiadoc105
    @aiadoc1053 жыл бұрын

    I love your younger sibling comment, you've always personally given me such a big sister vibe. 💙

  • @AverytheCubanAmerican
    @AverytheCubanAmerican3 жыл бұрын

    Not what any of us expected but thank you for talking about this as I've never heard of it before. Hope you're doing alright. The community loves you no matter what

  • @anthonyromanelli1392
    @anthonyromanelli13923 жыл бұрын

    It’s so awesome to see everyone taking a hard look at what is bothering them and whether that’s “just the way things are”. Besides being diagnosed with depression, for the longest time I had difficulties relating to people or talking to them, social cues, and I was hypersensitive to certain textures and noises. I didn’t know that that wasn’t typical until I was 18, actually got help for it and learned I was on the autistic spectrum. I don’t feel comfortable talking to my parents about it any more than I have to, and only a few friends of mine know. I actually feel better talking about it with strangers because there’s less judgement there, less expectation. It was really brave of you to share what you’re going through. You have been an amazing creator and source of positivity for me for over five years now and to see you open up about this really shows hoe far you’ve grown. Keep doing what you’re doing

  • @kingskidgirl2

    @kingskidgirl2

    3 жыл бұрын

    Keep doing what you're doing, too. Take care of yourself!

  • @umalazoff4

    @umalazoff4

    3 жыл бұрын

    Our stories are very similar! I have GAD just like Malinda, EXTREMELY picky eating AND am on the spectrum! I’ve been diagnosed with autism since I was 11, now I’m almost 19.

  • @coopdooptourmaline

    @coopdooptourmaline

    3 жыл бұрын

    Do you want anything I will talk to you?

  • @azzabynes5707

    @azzabynes5707

    3 жыл бұрын

    I was diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder when I was 3, but they couldn't actually diagnose me with Autism Spectrum Disorder until I was 10/11. I really have a hard time accepting that there's no cure for any of the things that are "wrong" with me, but I'm trying, and seeing other people talk about it really helps. They also said I have anxiety, ADHD, and something else and my response was kind of, "Excuse me!? Why so many things?" I hate talking about it too, like I'll do anything to avoid saying the word autism out loud, but the internet is really awesome for things like this. I hope you all feel as good as possible.

  • @umalazoff4

    @umalazoff4

    3 жыл бұрын

    Azza Bynes pretty much my story!!

  • @colingreysful
    @colingreysful3 жыл бұрын

    Wow. That was very moving. Quite brave of Malinda to share this so openly. All the best to her as she works through this (saying a prayer now).

  • @oldvinezin2086
    @oldvinezin2086 Жыл бұрын

    Just from one of many, out in a crowd of fans, I love your spirit. You're one of the types of souls I hope to be fortunate enough to keep company with. The people you choose to keep around you are truly lucky to have you.

  • @ChloeIHill
    @ChloeIHill3 жыл бұрын

    Malinda, im happy you were so open about this and told people about it. A lot of people can learn from this and know what to do if they need help.

  • @cornflake75
    @cornflake753 жыл бұрын

    Sometimes I think: "Why does it always strike the good people". I wish you all the best and hope you get the help you need to live a life without fear and anxiety. *Gradually Watermelon !* SCNR

  • @StormLight13

    @StormLight13

    3 жыл бұрын

    I didn't want to be the only one who couldn't help thinking, "Gradually watermelon" takes on a whole new meaning in this video ^_^

  • @hel2727

    @hel2727

    3 жыл бұрын

    It can strike anyone because illnesses don't care who you are, they just happen.

  • @user-ll8nw9dl9r
    @user-ll8nw9dl9rАй бұрын

    When I was tryinf to learn more about ARFID after being diagnosed with it for about 2 years, I found this video, and it legitimately brought me to tears. It's so difficult to find people who have or even know this eating disorder. Whenever I mention that I have an eating disorder to someone, they always assume it has to do with body image, and it's heartbreaking & infuriating. ARFID has plagued my life and my mental health for years (only being diagnosed with it at about 9-10 years old) and just hearing about your experience made me feel seen and understood. Thank you so much for everything Malinda.

  • @aridaletacoqueenuwu3050
    @aridaletacoqueenuwu30503 жыл бұрын

    I cried watching this,but not just from before,but also because my family has been through a lot recently,and I'm worried for my girlfriend because she was straight and very religious before we started going out,and now her only family are disgusted by her,and I can't even lay in bed without some tissue or cloth to wipe tears away with,thank you so much for sharing this Malinda,I really needed to hear that I'm not the only one who struggles in life daily

  • @clairebenson8092
    @clairebenson80923 жыл бұрын

    I was diagnosed with ARFID at one point in my life too. I didn't feel like it really fit me, but I'm glad you're talking about your disorder. I feel like my ED (OSFED) doesn't fit into the neat box that most people picture EDs fitting into, so thanks for representing lesser known eating disorders!

  • @swimmybearc4247

    @swimmybearc4247

    3 жыл бұрын

    I have ARFID and OSFED too! It's so weird to not fit into some perfect box of eating disorders. It feels invalid sometimes.

  • @larsswig912

    @larsswig912

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@swimmybearc4247 what's OSFED? It doesn't matter if you don't perfectly fit in a box, that's what makes you unique after all :) everyone has SEVERAL boxes that they can't fit into, because we're all human and none of us can be clear-cut defined by anything. That's why we're all unique. And valid!! ^-^

  • @swimmybearc4247

    @swimmybearc4247

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@larsswig912 OSFED stands for other specified feeding or eating disorder. Basically an other category for anorexia/bulimia.

  • @ellabartal4652
    @ellabartal46523 жыл бұрын

    My ARFID is much less physical than this, I guess. It's very connected to my social anxiety. It's tough life when you are the one that everybody has to cater to because you don't eat meat, or fruits or spicy food. But when the going gets tough, the tough get going. So just keep going on!

  • @swimmybearc4247

    @swimmybearc4247

    3 жыл бұрын

    My ARFID is the same. I don't experience many physical symptoms because I AVOID the food. It's just feeling bad all the time because you think you inconvenience others

  • @victoriouscoward7055

    @victoriouscoward7055

    3 жыл бұрын

    I am exactly the same way!

  • @meowman69420

    @meowman69420

    3 жыл бұрын

    i don't think i have ARFID, but i just really related to your comment there. in fact, i relate to all the replies here-

  • @rev.rachel

    @rev.rachel

    3 жыл бұрын

    Same, I’m high key on the avoidant side. I have like two meals I order out when I’m so hungry I can’t function and can’t think of literally any food that sounds edible. It’s unfortunate when I don’t have the money to dine out cause I don’t have a great other solution, but when I do, it’s good to know of one place I can always get the exact same meal that I always like and that always helps when I’m struggling. Cause yeah. Sometimes no food sounds good even though I’m starving. ARFID is weird.

  • @glue6679
    @glue66793 жыл бұрын

    This helped me. So much. You don't even understand. I finally have a list, of my disorders. I have GAD, SPD, and as a syptom /caused by my SPD, ARFID. I finally got my parents to listen to me! My mom had a master's in psychology, but got it before ARFID was an official diagnosis. I can finally get help. Thank you, so SO much, Melinda.

  • @gabzwithazed
    @gabzwithazed3 жыл бұрын

    I know opening up about your mental health is scary but I’m so happy that you shared this with us Malinda, We all love you for who you are and that you are comfortable to tell us about your mental health, you have helped so many people ❤️

  • @wh0aheavy
    @wh0aheavy3 жыл бұрын

    I've dealt with more classic eating disorders and mental illnesses. Now I'm a psychology major. Knowledge can give us such a feeling of power and control back to our lives. I'm glad you were able to find help. Thanks for sharing this with us

  • @umalazoff4

    @umalazoff4

    3 жыл бұрын

    Mental illness and autism. Social work and psychology;)

  • @Jono997
    @Jono9973 жыл бұрын

    7:08 So you've gotten over your fear of apples, mango, strawberries and gradually watermelon? Jokes aside, you've been amazingly strong for trying to overcome your issues. Best wishes!

  • @BonnieAngel141
    @BonnieAngel1413 жыл бұрын

    I was literally just watching a video of Irene something something trying Pringle’s and being like “this is gross” and I was like??? Why aren’t you throwing up. I was to my core freaked out every time I thought about eating something I didn’t like. I’m scared of new foods or foods I can’t completely predict the taste of. Thanks for this video. I only found out ARFID existed last year.

  • @iamleonidus1742
    @iamleonidus17422 жыл бұрын

    I got diagnosed with both ARFID and anxiety about 2 years ago. I never thought to go online to look for people that were dealing with the same issue and how they dealt with it. Knowing that someone, anyone else shares this in common somehow feels like a weight lifted. Thank you

  • @vilain_moineau
    @vilain_moineau3 жыл бұрын

    As a trans person, it's really hard for me to seek professional help about my anxiety and mental illness because I'm hella scared of how they would react I they knew I was trans, so it makes me even more anxious. I would love to be able to trust doctors but I just can't, I've heard to many stories of friends being treated like shit and having to deal with transphobic reactions that I keep my questions and worries to myself, hoping that one day I find a safe doctor... :/

  • @aquaticangel3380

    @aquaticangel3380

    3 жыл бұрын

    Good luck! Nobody should ever have to go through the things you’re going through. I hope you can find a good doctor you’re comfortable with!

  • @kayla5318

    @kayla5318

    3 жыл бұрын

    Keep going. I'm sure that it'll eventually work out! Sending ALL of the love your way

  • @mirazenker1203

    @mirazenker1203

    3 жыл бұрын

    You are amazing. Keep going, you will get through this! I'm so proud of you ❤️

  • @vilain_moineau

    @vilain_moineau

    3 жыл бұрын

    Thank you everyone for your kind messages, it really warmed my heart and it means so much to me 💕

  • @vilain_moineau

    @vilain_moineau

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@brioche641 yeah I will try to do that ! Last time I went to a psychologist they told me that "I wasn't really trans" and that "I was just doing that for attention" which did not help me at all trusting psychologists. But thanks, I'll ask my trans friends if they know any safe doctor !

  • @Mochi-rh9nu
    @Mochi-rh9nu3 жыл бұрын

    I just got “diagnosed “ w an eating disorder a few days ago. I have to go see a nutritionist nowwwwww.....

  • @cococovers1333

    @cococovers1333

    3 жыл бұрын

    good luck :)

  • @bpyrotroph3670

    @bpyrotroph3670

    3 жыл бұрын

    Good luck

  • @annatonks7058

    @annatonks7058

    3 жыл бұрын

    good luck!!

  • @lemonscentedcloroxwipes

    @lemonscentedcloroxwipes

    3 жыл бұрын

    Good luck!

  • @notkr0w_

    @notkr0w_

    3 жыл бұрын

    Good luck 😁

  • @Buggster101
    @Buggster1013 жыл бұрын

    Mal this made me feel so much better, knowing im not the only one...we are all here for you just as much you are for us. Thank you so much for being there. Sending love from home/work/the road/ ect., All of your children.❤

  • @BrokenDiscFever
    @BrokenDiscFever Жыл бұрын

    Ive been diagnosed with ARFID for 10 years no and I love that people are now sharing their experiences

  • @Tabbyexplosive
    @Tabbyexplosive3 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for having the courage to share your story Malinda. Talking about mental health always seems daunting, but you're right hearing other peoples stories helps, a lot. I've always appreciated your honesty

  • @dragonfly._.doodles
    @dragonfly._.doodles3 жыл бұрын

    OH MY GOSH I KINDA HAVE THE ALLERGY THING (kinda, let me explain) I don’t have any allergies BUT a lot of my eating disorder (or at least one of the reasons my stupid child brain came up with) was because I was afraid of eating new foods because I was scared of getting an allergy to it because of how much I hate needles...a lot. If you guys want to learn about it more then I can continue this comment if you want

  • @ZipplyZane

    @ZipplyZane

    3 жыл бұрын

    I would love to learn more, but I don't k ow what to ask.

  • @vanillad1346

    @vanillad1346

    3 жыл бұрын

    Yea uhhh... I dont really HATE needles but i get extremley scared of them. anywho you can continue if u want to

  • @gabbytheartfriend
    @gabbytheartfriend3 жыл бұрын

    You have opened my eyes, honestly, to an entire problem I didn't even realize wasn't all in my head.

  • @juliabrooks1203
    @juliabrooks12033 жыл бұрын

    Omg, thank you so much for talking about this! I’ve been struggling with both these disorders for what feels like my whole life. You’re the first content creator that I’ve seen be open about arfid. Made me feel not so alone. Literally crying.

  • @oliviamorris6129
    @oliviamorris61293 жыл бұрын

    We love you Malinda no matter what you are going through and we are here for you!

  • @Kerrogann
    @Kerrogann3 жыл бұрын

    My problem is not that extreme. But I'd like to thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for speaking about this problem! I am considered a picky eater too, and I have a phobia about a lot of food (I don't have the gagging or nausea, but I just can't put some kinds of food in my mouth), and it's not a problem that is known enough. And we need to talk about it, and you have a big community so it helps raise awareness about it. So thank you, thank you so much!!!! I started a treatment 3 months ago, I'm seeing a sophrologist since june who helped me reconnect with my body and what I feel physically, I'm far from there yet, bu there's progress, I managed to taste several food since then, most of them without success, but being able to just decide to do it and manage to put the food in my mouth without being completely petrified is a huge step from me. All of this gives me hope that some day, I can eat better, and lose weight (most of what I eat is very rich in fat and sugar, so now I'm obese, and I can't get surgery because the surgery requires a specific diet and I can't do it because of my problem, the only hope I have of losing weight is eat better, I had lost hope, but now I finally have some.

  • @galev3955
    @galev39553 жыл бұрын

    I am so emotional about this. I always though "Oh Malinda is always so joyful and has a free spirit. So well composed and inspiring." and well of course no one is free of problems. And it is so brave and important and great of you to be so open so publicly. I have so much more respect for the high quality work you are producing even though you had these struggles for so long. Like you I also have been so inspired by people sharing their struggles. I also started going to theprapy with my anxiety lately and it is helping a lot. I just came out to a friend yesterday! I am so glad that you are on a path to healing now and that you found help and already overcame some fears. Be patient with yourself! Things like this don't go away in a day. Thanks for sharing!

  • @zachariasharmon1970
    @zachariasharmon19703 жыл бұрын

    Its the little things we take for granted. There are allergies to everything. And also i found it so nice she thinks of us as her siblings🙂

  • @FayeTheSuccubus
    @FayeTheSuccubus3 жыл бұрын

    Just to let you know: Previous ARFID sufferer here, had to deal with it as a lifelong issue, and I send you all the sympathies in the world. I got extremely lucky in that I received some very effective therapy shortly before COVID lockdown hit. I obviously won't hawk the therapist without prompting in your comments, but I can at least tell you that you are absolutely not alone. I hope that a path to overcoming your disorder opens to you, and whether it does or not I'm wishing you all the best in continuing on through it.

  • @brookeshizzle

    @brookeshizzle

    2 жыл бұрын

    Hey, would you mind sharing what type of therapy worked for you?

  • @joyflameball
    @joyflameball3 жыл бұрын

    Btw guys, for those who don't know, at 6:00 the reason it said "Or sibling" is referring to nonbinary people. I think. Malinda, I'm really sorry you've had to go through this. We're here for u 🥺

  • @tiffanyyuan5811

    @tiffanyyuan5811

    3 жыл бұрын

    yep! also, in my experience nibling(s) is a gender neutral term for nieces and nephews, not a sibling (which is already gender neutral)

  • @beek.4860
    @beek.48603 жыл бұрын

    Hey Malinda. I'm so glad you can be open about this. I've never met you, but you seem like a wonderful person and I hope you continue to be strong. I love you and your music, and I'm really happy you're using this struggle for good to help others. Love :)

  • @calciummother
    @calciummother3 жыл бұрын

    Oh. My. Goodness. I've been subscribed to you for who knows how long and I had no idea we had the same eating disorder! I was diagnosed nearly a year ago by my therapist, and things have slowly been getting better since then. However, about 3-4 years ago I was placed under Occupational Therapy, where my occupational therapist was awful and gave me severe food trauma. She would overload my senses and surround me with discomfort and prompt my parents to set a punishment if I didn't prevail. Every fear food of mine I had to shove my hand in, smell, touch, and eventually have it in my mouth. I am still recovering from the damage it has done to me, but a light remains at the end of the tunnel! My therapist (which has diagnosed me) is planning to get me to an exposure and prevention facility, (if I remembered the name correctly) which is supposed to expose me to my fear foods to a lesser extent than my OT did, and teach me ways to cope and reduce my anxiety while doing so. I hope your treatment is doing well! I have high hopes for my own.

  • @musicalchairstacking
    @musicalchairstacking3 жыл бұрын

    I've been watching your channel for a while now and I just want to say that your courage to talk about this publicly is truly inspiring, and I wish you nothing but the best on your journey to finding more stability. As someone who struggles with mental health myself, this is such an important topic to talk about and I appreciate you discussing this. So much love to you Malinda.💕

  • @koucka.a.doucka
    @koucka.a.doucka3 жыл бұрын

    I suffered from the generalized anxiety disorder, depression and had some panic attacks, too. And I asked myself: Do you want to keep feeling under the weather in 20 years, until death? No! I am still not 100 % well and maybe I gave up or just came to terms with some aspects of myself that I can't change (much), but I should keep working on myself. I don't feel very well in my own body and I basically hate myself for a lot of reasons. At least I don't suffer from depression and a strong anxiety any more but still... I keep my fingers crossed for you to make it through the worst part and getting better, because I think life shouldn't be about suffering and pain.

  • @mirazenker1203

    @mirazenker1203

    3 жыл бұрын

    Keep fighting, you will get through this ❤️ I wish you all the best!

  • @kayla5318

    @kayla5318

    3 жыл бұрын

    Sending all the love your way

  • @koucka.a.doucka

    @koucka.a.doucka

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@kayla5318 Oh, thank you very much. I didn't expect so much support. I send some of it to our beloved Malinda as well.

  • @koucka.a.doucka

    @koucka.a.doucka

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@mirazenker1203 Thank you! Sometimes it is hard to fight your genes and upbringing but maybe one day I won't feel like a little s**t... Thank you very, very much.

  • @irismoralis
    @irismoralis3 жыл бұрын

    This video kept reminding me of "Surrender" all the way through... "willing and able to breathe", "and just surrender", "fighting to keep what we won"

  • @turtlesarecute5906
    @turtlesarecute5906 Жыл бұрын

    My heart just bloomed at the sight of this video. I've seen your videos/song covers every so often, but then looking for things to help ease my anxiety with my eating disorder... thank you so so much for making this

  • @patpatterson12
    @patpatterson123 жыл бұрын

    At least four times in my life (I'm 67, but if it helps you to think of me as your little brother, go ahead!) I've had to deal with a physical condition that changed everything; it was either destroying me, or, if not, certainly had the ability to do that. In three of the four cases, there was a huge amount of stigma associated with the impairment. At first, in every case, comprehending my situation was all I could do. And, in every case, for a WHILE, everything about my identity HAD to be centered on that one aspect, which was that I had that specific impairment. None of my conditions can be healed. Every single one can be coped with. And that was what I had to do. I took on the identity of a person with this impairment, and I systematically learned how it was impacting me, and how it had impacted me in the past. And I learned how I could prevent it from having destructive effects on me in the future. All kinds of things: talking, taking meds, eating right, exercise, regular medical check-ins, learning to see the truth as it was, and not how I wanted it to be. The fact that you are a lovely and talented young lady with an army of adoring admirers doesn't even come into play when dealing with Arfid, except in that you might be expected to travel more and thus have less control over your eating. People will want to comfort you (but they are really trying to comfort themselves) by assuring you that things are good, that you have accomplished so much, etc. But the way you will find freedom is NOT by stacking up your accomplishments, as if they were a wall to protect you from the attacks. It would be nice if that approach worked. Doing the Next Right Thing WILL help. Sharing your story was obviously a Next Right Thing. It will allow you to interact with us, without having this burden of keeping a secret. God job! Now, wait peacefully for the next Next Right Thing to appear. Then do it. Peace be on your household.

  • @liviliv221
    @liviliv2213 жыл бұрын

    Malinda needs a massive hug for going through all this i too go through panic attacks some worse than others im glad she got the help for all this and she's doing better and helping others ❤

  • @hoshiro.exsharaen
    @hoshiro.exsharaen3 жыл бұрын

    Wow I never heard about ARFID until now, and now I am grateful I don't experience one. I always envy about how you address mental illness, because here in Indonesia it's a strictly taboo thing. Everyone who talks openly about he/she having any kind of mental illness is immediately bullied by almost everyone (the word "mental illness" itself does have a negative meaning here), so seeking help is next to impossible (unless we know exactly where to look for information and get professional help). I am glad you are able to get proper treatment and are improving your life. Take care and stay healthy!

  • @hey_its_kei_
    @hey_its_kei_3 жыл бұрын

    This video made me search up symptoms of anxiety and depression. Glad I did 😬 You are amazing. You are so strong and so incredible. This video was so inspiring and I am so glad that you are getting help and are getting better. 💜 your mental heath is important to all of us. 💜

  • @gleefulpebble
    @gleefulpebble3 жыл бұрын

    I really hope you’re doing alright

  • @zuzannakol7791
    @zuzannakol77913 жыл бұрын

    I'm so grateful for this video. I've been struggling with eating certain things since my early childhood, especially when it comes to vegetables, fruits and "raw" foods. I have a strong gagging reflex and feel like throwing up whenever I even see or smell certain foods. I am very anxious about eating anywhere outside my home, since I wouldn't wanna come off as weird, or a spoiled child/picky-eater. But now I can feel atleast a little more comfortable knowing that there are other people having the same problem. Thank you for making me feel less alone

  • @jessamari159
    @jessamari1593 жыл бұрын

    My friend showed me this because she was so excited and happy that someone who has a large following is talking about ARFID. She has been struggling with it for many years along with other mental health issues and you are the first KZreadr she has seen make a video on the topic. Thank you for making this video!!! It is amazing to bring awareness to this struggle. On a side note-- your voice is so soothing and nice to listen to like wow

  • @thejaykuciamusic
    @thejaykuciamusic3 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for sharing this, Malinda. As someone who has lived with OCD for almost a decade, I always find it so meaningful when people with platforms like yours share their stories of mental health struggles and overcomings. Thank you for helping do the work of helping our world destigmatize and understand mental illness. Much love. 💜

  • @anna-maymoon1001
    @anna-maymoon10013 жыл бұрын

    Reading through the comments, just wanted to let yall know: You are worthy of love, you're wonderful, a delight to be around and a gift to the earth. You are not your mental health issues; they're chemicals making your life hard. But YOU are still in there, the you that loves that film and singing that song that reminds you of your best friend. The you who gets lost in books or games or staring out the window for a few hours to feel some peace. The you who likes puffin sea shanties and Melinda's angelic voice. The you who is searching for a reason to love yourself today which is why you made it this far ❤ 😘 Do yourself a favour today, for me? Look in the mirror and tell yourself "I am enough. I am a delight and I am wonderful and I deserve to be loved." Then wrap your arms around yourself and give yourself a Big *huuuuuuggggggggg* for at least 10 seconds from me. Know that I'm rooting for you from the UK and you're not alone ❤ I'm a friend you haven't met (yet?) But I'm still a friend ❤ I hope sometjing makes you smile today xxx

  • @bc6399

    @bc6399

    3 жыл бұрын

    Anna-May Moon OOh my god. That just made me tear up so much. But in a good way.

  • @vanillad1346

    @vanillad1346

    3 жыл бұрын

    Thanks :)

  • @friedhegg

    @friedhegg

    3 жыл бұрын

    Yeah, something did make me smile today: you. Thank you so much.

  • @r.j906

    @r.j906

    3 жыл бұрын

    Anna-May Moon thank you so much! Right back at you 🥰😘

  • @fyn935

    @fyn935

    3 жыл бұрын

    You are so sweet. Thank you for those kind words!

  • @kitkat7316
    @kitkat73163 жыл бұрын

    Malinda, while there may not be much we can do to help you with this, we can keep reminding you that we love you. and quite a few people (including myself) can relate to you. while i may not have ARFID, i have anorexia. while we have different reasons to be afraid of food, i can still empathize with you. stay healthy, Malinda ❤️

  • @obsidian.moonrise
    @obsidian.moonrise3 жыл бұрын

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing this. I've suffered from ARFID since birth and it means so much to be seen and to see you speak out about it. As a kid, I even knew that I had a disorder that wasn't recognized yet and jumped for joy when SED/ARFID was finally recognized in the DSM-IV and V. Thanks for making me and others feel a little less alone and for spreading awareness 🖤

  • @shrunkenmonkey5
    @shrunkenmonkey53 жыл бұрын

    why in the world would 15 people dislike this. who is this upsetting?!

  • @kage3069

    @kage3069

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@kjulietraven wha--- HOW?

  • @irishhamiltonmemes6748

    @irishhamiltonmemes6748

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@kjulietraven then why are you watching this then

  • @hayhay6798
    @hayhay67983 жыл бұрын

    Thank you! This helped a lot! I struggle with eating disorders because I have been bullied about my weight, so there are periods where food disgusts me and I refuse to eat, or where I will stress eat until I am sick. I have never been hospitalized for it, because somebody always snaps me out of it without knowing what's going on. I also stress a lot and feel unenergized and sad. I have got no diagnosis but I think I may have anxiety and depression. I want to get diagnosed but I am a freshman in high school and I don't know how to tell my parents. It is just nice to know I am not alone! Please like so Malinda can see, and if you have any advice, please tell me.

  • @molybdomancer195

    @molybdomancer195

    3 жыл бұрын

    Haylee. you are not alone. If you can get the courage to tell your parents that might be a good idea or is there some other adult you can trust like another family member or teacher? Please get help - there are lots of people who care about you and you matter so look after yourself

  • @hayhay6798

    @hayhay6798

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@molybdomancer195 Thank you for the advice! Not really! My mom I could tell but not without my dad knowing and he is super strict. All of my friends would just tell their parents who know my parents and there is one teacher, but she was my old fifth grade teacher and I have none of her contact infor. I just dont know what to do. On my better days I realize that people care about me but in the heat of the moment I forget and I start to hate myself for things I cant control. My dad has been really hard on me for my whole life and between that and the bullying, it has caused me to constantly second guess myself and to worry about small things that dont matter, along with hating myself at the smallest mistake.

  • @molybdomancer195

    @molybdomancer195

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@hayhay6798 Oh sweetheart you sound like my daughter. Try to find someone you can talk to. My daughter found it useful to talk to the Samaritans when she was at her lowest. Perhaps you could find a private place and call them?

  • @chaoticnetural5752
    @chaoticnetural57523 жыл бұрын

    I've never met someone else with ARFID before- Although I haven't been properly diagnosed, my mother and I are both pretty sure I have general anxiety and ARFID, and it's incredible how similar your symptoms are from mine. I've struggled with finding foods that give me enough nutrients to function my whole life. Before we really started figuring this out, I had diagnosed anemia, but I started taking supplements and it's greatly improved. But I've never had anyone to relate to with the "pickiness", I remember just a couple days ago I started crying and choking up when my mom asked if I would be willing to try soup. It really, really sucks. My friends always joke about "haha you can eat all these snack foods when we're hanging out but you're still so skinny", but it's really because ARFID causes me to have a lack of appetite way too often, in addition to making me feel full really quickly. The part about being afraid to eat out, or at a friends house, or when traveling is also there for me. It's frustrating to keep ordering from the kids menu wherever I go, for heaven's sake! I have been on the fence about getting proper help, because my parents want to go about it the phycological way. Which is scary because even though therapy and getting help has been very de-stigmatized, which is great, there's still that voice in my head that's telling me I'm broken for needing it. I'm learning to ignore that voice though. Your story definitely is encouraging me to get the help I need so I don't have to go through my teenage years struggling with this, so thank you so much!

  • @jamesbonkoski2481

    @jamesbonkoski2481

    Жыл бұрын

    I’m in my late sixties and this is my entire life. I was elated when I learned I have ARFID, just to have a name for it. It’s been a living hell up to now. I can’t advance in my life or travel for business or attend Christmas party’s or office lunches. I’ve had to create an arsenal of excuses for every situation that might expose myself and what I cannot eat. Depression, suicidal thoughts and anxiety pretty much sum up my life

  • @xoluciaxo_3721

    @xoluciaxo_3721

    Жыл бұрын

    Your story sounds so similar to my situation right now i actually thought it was somehow a comment of mine for a second. I started treatment for ARFID just today and i’m wondering how you are doing now? You don’t have to answer if you don’t feel comfortable but honestly i’m struggling and seeing the similarity i was wondering if you ever got any better. In any case, i hope you did and even if not, i wish you the best of luck in life!

  • @chaoticnetural5752

    @chaoticnetural5752

    Жыл бұрын

    @@xoluciaxo_3721 hi! It's so amazing that you're getting treatment. Personally, I ended up getting a large panel of blood tests done, and it turns out I have a non-celiac gluten intolerance- basically, everything I was eating was making me sick, constantly. It's been almost a year since I cut it out, and life's a lot easier for me. I still have a limited diet, but I'm getting more comfortable with trying new things. I really hope everything goes well for you! Good luck!

  • @xoluciaxo_3721

    @xoluciaxo_3721

    Жыл бұрын

    @@chaoticnetural5752 I’m so glad to hear that! I’m happy you got to find out the cause of your problems and you’e doing better :)

  • @hopeelizabeth19
    @hopeelizabeth193 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for posting this. People talking about their health issues and opening up about their insecurities has really helped me and so many other people. Especially with the pandemic throwing everything off kilter, everything feels so horrible. I know that things like anxiety and depression and other mental health issues are skyrocketing right now, and there is this horrible stigma around not being able to talk about it. Thank you so much for feeling comfortable enough to tell thousands of people about this. Every single person speaking out is helping end that stigma. Actually earlier tonight I poured myself out about everything burdening me right now to my friend over FaceTime # socialdistancing but having her listen to me helped tremendously so if anyone is reading this and is struggling in any way, you are not alone and you CAN talk to someone. It really helps. Thanks again Malinda. Every video posted helps and it was interesting to learn about something new

  • @sleepyote
    @sleepyote3 жыл бұрын

    I have diagnosed anxiety disorders (generalized anxiety, social anxiety,and ocd) I understand worry and panic attacks. I'm glad you're being so open about your anxiety and eating disorder. Not only does it help others not feel alone, it's good for you to vent too. 💖

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