Just wanted to say, please don't put the blame on yourself. As a neurodivergent girlie, being overestimulated in a very busy London without being able to mentally prepare for where you were going, as well as the pressure of enjoying your birthday is SO normal. It's frustrating,but there's nothing wrong with you or how you reacted. Our brains work differently. Please be kind to yourself ❤

I think sometimes there's so much pressure on Birthdays to be " The Best Day Ever" please don't be too hard on yourself, 🥰 love how honest you are ❤️

Hey Emma, thank you for sharing your mental health struggles. I’ve experienced a mental health dissociation episode on a day i was really looking forward to as well. Hearing your story helped me feel less alone. Sometimes its so hard to have a mental illness, and i relate to feeling so guilty for my partner. I’m so glad your day turned around and you got to enjoy your birthday💗 sending so much love to you!

Em, you can have a do-over of the day anytime! Nobody thinks you were ungrateful, Rob defo doesn't think you were ungrateful - you are learning how to help your brain collaborating with you more

I just want to say I relate to you so much. I have disassociation and my mood can change by over stimulation. I’m so glad rob understands and your day looked great in spite of that. I want to say how strong you are and you are brilliantly talented. Thank you for talking about these things, it’s nice knowing someone else goes through the same thing. ❤

Hi Emma! Thank you for being so open about your mental health and neurodiversity. It’s really helpful and encouraging for others to hear about it because not everyone sees this reality. I wonder if you were to spread out the birthday celebrations next year over a week instead of making 1 day really special. It might help you mentally break the cycle and take the pressure off ‘having the best day ever because you have to because it’s your birthday’. Glad you had a great time nonetheless! Merry Christmas 🎄

Emma, Im feeling you so much❤️ this is exactly like I'm feeling for days. I'm struggling with ADHD too, and even on medication I feel the same : numb and empty sometimes! Lots of love to you ❤❤❤❤❤❤ keep going, your videos are a lot of help to me

Hi Emma. I just wanted to send all the love your way. Birthdays are very overwhelming for everyone, neurodivergent or neuro typical. I think it's the fact that we build it up in our heads, and then it never quite lives up to it (even the best birthdays). Please don't beat yourself up about it!!

Emma you have been working so hard lately it was bound to happen. I've had days like that and they just side swipe you without any warning. Mental exhaustion is rough. Rest if you can, get better. Love you Emma.

I can’t explain it either, but my adult birthdays I now dread because something upsets me every year or I over think it. I’m just glad I’m not the only one x

I'm sorry you had to go through that. I can definitely relate. I have days like that on Christmas. I suspect it's because I feel like I'm expected to act and function a certain way: Be polite, be grateful, be the center of attention regardless of how you actually feel, probably causing dissociation and wanting to flee. It might be worth addressing with a therapist though since it's a reoccurring thing for you. I'm glad you ended up having a great night though! All the best ❤

Thank you for being so open and honest about mental health ❤

Hey I also have adhd and just looking at the clip of how busy London was made me feel overwhelmed. And I'm the same on my birthday I think it's too much pressure to have a great day and then be your best self for the following year, plus presents and extra people talking to you and expecting you to be happy! 😅 Honestly, don't beat yourself up. Loving your real Vlogmas ❤❤❤

Wow I can totally relate to this so much, you’re not alone!

I have AuDHD and I absolutely dreaddddd my birthday every year. My friends and family try to make a big deal of it but I'd rather just sit around in my PJ's reading or watching films. I think as someone with AuDHD I tend to enjoy myself by having a good time with others or for others, maybe some of it is masking as well? When a day is for me and the attentions on me rather than shared or on someone else that makes me overstimulated because I feel as if I have to put on more masks, and ones I don't really understand. It's just a lot and feeling watched whilst you struggle and feeling like you can't have a bad time makes things worse! I've boycotted my birthday and replaced it with a "I can do what I want" day any time in the year, I'll just go like hey I want to go to this concert as my birthday present, or let's take a trip for my birthday present - can be months after but it's so much less stress that way

Such a sweet surprise. I hope you feel better today. Just remember if it gets too hard take it one day at a time, if that is too hard take it one hour at a time and even if that is still hard, take it one minute at a time. you are such a lovely person and you put so much effort and love in everything you do, it is ok to slow down a bit and not pressure your self. Love you🥰😘

Oh no Emma, I'm so very sorry you had an anxious moment during your Birthday day out, but I am grateful that it ended with you being comforted by Rob and your best friends 💜. I have those moments as well and it's so very painful when you want to have fun but you just can't get out of your head. It's something we have to live with and work through it when those dark cloud appears. Thank you for sharing Emma, take care and have a great weekend 🤗💝.

Thank you so much for sharing your mental health. This makes me feel So much better about having dissociation. I really struggle with it when I am due on, ill or stressed. It is tough and it feels weird and you probably need rest.

Happy birthday Em. I know lots of people that get down on their birthdays. I think it's kinda natural. Hope you're okay ❤️

I love these daily videos 😍 been watching your channel for years and years now Emma and you’re still the most positive, funniest, sweetest, most genuine KZreadr, always watch your videos for a pick me up ❤️

I’m so sorry you struggled so much on your birthday, I completely resonate with what you said. I think sometimes when it comes to big events like our birthdays we’re looking forward to them so much and we just want to have the loveliest day, especially when someone like your lovely Arms plans such a perfect day, that our minds self sabotage at the smallest thing. For my hen do my best friends planned a wonderful day, found places to eat and things to do that I would enjoy and would fit in with my dietary restrictions, and we only ended up going to the one restaurant for the first lunch because I had a panic attack and had to rest the rest of the day. I felt awful but also, they were just there for me to celebrate me and my hen do so we ended up basically just having a sleepover in our air bnb all cuddles on the sofa watching bridesmaids 😂🙈 it happens a lot more than people let on, and I hope you manage to enjoy a future lovely day out to watch the Willy wonka movie! Lots of love xxx

awwwww sweet pea I’m so very sorry you had that awful feeling on your bday outing 😢 I am glad you came out feeling better & having fun with your friends ❤ maybe burnout like you said? Take it easy baby, relax and enjoy the holiday xoxo

happy birthday ❤❤❤

hey emma, don’t beat yourself up. I’m glad you had a good night in the end x

Normally I'm a lurker, I love the vlogs but I always hesitate to comment. However today's video really resonated with me. I myself don't celebrate my bday for this very reason. I know exactly how you felt, where u just switch off. For me, I can't handle the attention on me, but I love celebrating other people. I really appreciate u talking about ur mental health. It feels like someone gets me. And this one made me realise I'm not abnormal for feeling off on my bday

Ever since my Mom passed away it’s been very hard for me to celebrate my birthday. I seem to shut down on my birthday. I hope I do better next year on my birthday

Hi Emma, thank you for sharing this! It means a lot to me because I also struggle with my own birthday

Happy birthday Emma 🎈 I am. So glad you shared that, and have been real, as this made me feel less alone ♥️ I have the same, something just goes wrong on my birthday, something like for you did, and I cannot explain it, my poor husband is same unsure how to help and what to do.. I am dreading this to happen this year 🙅🏼‍♀️ You are not alone in this 💋

Ohh Emma, I feel your pain so much, i can relate so much. The shame we put ourselves under is no necessary. All of us in the ND camp feel your pain. I would recommend maybe doing some timeline therapy to heal whatever has happened on your birthday. Be kind to yourself gorgeous ❤

Thanks for being honest. Its really hard when that happens when even words fail you and you just cant even speak. Its so overwhelming and in your head you are trying to analyse it which just makes it worse. I just have to sleep generally but yes especially london is difficult far too many people

Ugh, girl. I'm sorry your birthday didn't go as you hoped. It sounds like you had some great time for reflection, though. I know exactly how you feel and it can be so hard to get out of that funk. Happy belated!

You're not alone I'm the same way every birthday and holiday and I try my hardest not to be and it does get better as you get older. He understand how to help you in the future. Naps help and carbs lol

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I also get very down on and after my birthday. Not sure why really but have had some pretty bad episodes in the past , my 18th being the absolute worst. I almost dread it now. Maybe it's a neurodivergent thing ❤

Thank you for being you Emma we love you 💖🫶🏽😘

All the neurodiversity girls coming together in the comments 🫶 you arent alone in this Emma, we get it, we know what it is like! You're feelings are so valid, please dont beat yourself up ❤ we just have extra special brains

Hi Emma I don’t normally comment ever but I just wanted to make you feel not alone as I always am down depressed on my birthday it’s also just occasions because I think it’s because I have expectations of how I should be or how the day should be so I set myself up to fail all the time or yeah I just always have a spell of depression then so your not alone. I live with depression so it’s not the exact same as you but I hope this helps x

I wonder if you feel down on your birthday because it's at the end of the year. You work so hard throughout the year, and then you're burned out by the time your birthday comes around? Especially now with Project Me you've been working so hard on that. Your perfectionism + burn out = your brain can't keep up so it gives itself a reboot by dissociating. Just a thought from a girl with ADHD in her 30s. I hope you feel better ❤️

We are boycotting starbucks

Your birthday could be missing your mum? Your mind can forget but your body never does.