There isn’t anything anyone can do. You don’t even get to escape by sleeping. There is no sleep!

I’m just over 5 years off benzos and I went through torturous hell for about the first 2.5 years. I feel 95% healed now. I still can’t tolerate caffeine and I don’t drink alcohol at all. I’m doing better than I could’ve hoped for. I know the daily struggle very well. I’m here to say that it gets better, little by little, day to day. Hang in there benzo warriors!

@philosophicalfishing

Жыл бұрын

Awesome, Stacy! So happy for you!

@kellyjofrey4192

Жыл бұрын

I’m at about 2.5 years now, still have a few withdrawal symptoms to this day

@joesweeney8153

Жыл бұрын

I needed to hear that, struggling, it's very reassuring,

@BOCHOMO

Жыл бұрын

God bless you 🙏

@34tactical

Жыл бұрын

I got prescribed 1.5 MG of klonopin (clonazapam), in 2005 during my 2nd tour in, Iraq. 5, five years later, the VA, at Pittsburgh, had me on 8mg (2mg 4 times a day) plus 6 different psyiatric drugs, doctor said, I could never come off. I lost my, family, friends, money, everything, I also fell asleep, 4 different times, killing all 4 limps, my hands, and feet. I can't move 2 toes on both feet, nerve damage, on left hand, and needed 3 surgeries right hand just to mone 3 of my figures. I started to wean my self down in March, because doctor did not. I looked up on my own, neuitrantistmitors Gabs A (benzos) Gaba B alcohol Gabaptin, or Neurton). I learned how to read, blood blood work work, half-life so on. By the way the Pittsburgh psciatric unit had me running around for years thinking I had cancers from alt, ast afp, kidney problem gfr. I practically, am self made doctor, that the VA doesnt pay. when I got down to 3 MG, blood and all the other psy. meds was normal. I told psy. doctor at VA, bad idea, the VA put me on a rapid taper, They tried putting me on anti psychotic for something, I am not, Yesterday I woke up and thought, I was in he'll for 2hours not to mention breaking my phone and almost this one for just getting back from the police thinking my phone and computer got hacked into, just got done screaming at an imaginary person in my apartment hope the police don't come, after finding this guy, I just figured out my phone is not hacked into, this was put on three months when was this soldier 7 months ago, THANK YOU BUDDY. I have been up 3 days now, it has been 2 days awake 3 to 4 hours asleep for 5 months now, I guess I am in hell,, right,,, psyiatrist all all f$^# idiots Thank you Pittsburgh VA, what else do you get away with. GOD BLESS AMERICA OUT

Withdrawal is interdimentional torture on every level (physical, emotional, psychological & spiritual) perceived as a slow dismemberming death of your true self. Absolute suffering & despair causing PTSD. You're convinced you are dying. I pray for those going through it. You are loved, please seek help.

@philosophicalfishing

8 ай бұрын

This probably the most descriptive and accurate statement about benzo withdrawal I’ve ever read.

@star_child8998

18 күн бұрын

This is no joke. I only took klonopin for maybe 3 weeks. And this is one the ABSOLUTE WORST EXPERIENCE A HUMAN CAN GO THROUGH. I've taken them sparingly through my life. But my anxiety took a turn for the worst this year. It's been 5 days on a low dose over these few weeks has been something I will never want to go through ever again.. I pray for everyone whos been on the extreme end of this.. I'm so sorry you had to go through this🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍😢😢😢

I was on Klonopin for the better part of 20 years. I had many similar meds as you, like Suboxone for 12 years. I tapered off Klonopin for only 3 months and then quit. The psychosis was terrifying to me and I didn’t expect the suicidal ideation. Luckily, I got through it on my own. I’ve never been to rehab due to cost. My wife still doesn’t understand the cognitive issues it has caused. She just assumes that once you quit, you get better which can take years as you know. I’ve been doing much better lately after getting LENS treatments which is “Low-energy Neurofeedback System” in Nashville for the past 3 months. I’ve done 7 treatments and I’m starting to feel my anxiety and depression melt away. I’ve also regained much of my cognitive symptoms like creativity, motivation, etc. There will be a day of reckoning for this country and others if they crack down on prescribing them like opioids. There’s not enough support for ppl like us because it’s so intense to go through. Much respect. I appreciate your content brother! Much love from Alabama!!!

@philosophicalfishing

Жыл бұрын

Thank you! What an incredible story. Thanks for sharing it with us, and so glad to hear that you’ve discovered a therapeutic tool that helps you. AND you came off on your own too- wow. Yes, I believe there’s a massive wave coming in the future where a new drug crisis will come into awareness. It’s here already but it’s not mainstream news…. Yet.

@michelebergman4336

5 ай бұрын

@@philosophicalfishingwe all DESERVE 💰💰💰💰💰compensation for having our lives put in Fatal danger & having our minds & nervous system DESTROYED , our LIVES DESERVED

i’m going through this & i feel like i’m dying. severe health anxiety. scared to move. constantly checking pulse. headaches. tremors. twitching. nausea. insomnia. facing thoughts . rebound SEVERE panic attacks. i’m hopeless. it’s so nice to see you made it to the other side ❤

@philosophicalfishing

Жыл бұрын

I’m so sorry Nia, it’s a brutal thing to experience. We’re here for you.❤️

@dustygatrell-ru7tg

Жыл бұрын

How r u doing now? Hopefully A little better atleast

@JenErin29

Жыл бұрын

Do a slow taper if you can that's what helps most people. I went through klonopin withdrawal hell. Almost two years out since my last dose and I'm feeling like a normal person again there is a light at the end and I can tell you this from personal experience. I wish you the best 💚 Reach out to the community if you ever need help we are all there for you!

@dustygatrell-ru7tg

Жыл бұрын

I've been in withdrawal hell for 6 in a half months now. I have all the symptoms you've listed. I know how u feel. I feel hopeless at times to. But we must remind ourselves that it does not last forever. If you ever wanna text me on here u can we face similar struggles. We must stick together an put our trust in the lord Jesus. Godbless you.

@WillyMakeIt105

Жыл бұрын

Taper is key, cut up the pill into little pieces and drop a little bit every week. Once you drop, you will b rocky for a few days till you stabilise.once you stabilise continue to drop again the next week if you can't stabilise after the drop go back up an try again next week. It is hard as hell but keep going

That was a powerful description of what we go through when we quit benzos. I felt those words in my spine, since I went that through also about 6 years ago. I'll never go back using them.

@philosophicalfishing

Жыл бұрын

Only those who have been through it know. The most insane thing I could ever do is go back to a benzo. Glad you’re on the other side with me. 🙏🏻

I just remembered something during my Psychosis that I had forgot about. This is what I was listening to on repeat for like 24 hours in my psychosis hallucination "Go All The Way" by Charles Bukowski. It was looping all night long and a lot of what I was journaling was pieces from it. The end of my journal was "FEAR IS JUST AN ILLUSION" and "NO" written really big. It meant I have a choice to decide which was absolutely huge for me. I have a choice to live life the way I want, and life begins again. I was rewriting my story, forgiving myself and others. Like Dan said we are all just doing the best we can............... Charles Bukoski "GO ALL THE WAY" If you’re going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don’t even start. If you're going to try, go all the way. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives, jobs and maybe even your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision, mockery, isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it. And, you’ll do it, despite rejection and the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you’re going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire. "DO IT. DO IT. DO IT. All the way" Go All The Way by Charles Bukowski Love Bob Bobarino🙃

@whiterussia9232

Жыл бұрын

I love this. His grave stone says “Don’t try”

@twistedspanner

28 күн бұрын

Which Bukowski book? Or cd?

@bobbobarino6213

28 күн бұрын

@@twistedspanner it was just a clip go all the way on KZread I looped

@twistedspanner

27 күн бұрын

@bobbobarino6213 Thanks. I thought there's a great community spirit here of everyone going through the same shit that's indescribable to those who haven't experienced it wishing each other well. I see a glimmer of hope from the wise old words of good old Henry Chinaski. Thanks bro. 👍

@bobbobarino6213

27 күн бұрын

@@twistedspanner celebrated two years benzos free yesterday. Keep on keeping on May the force be with you

He looks GREAT for being on so many meds… you’d never know!!👍🙏❤️

@The_Modern_Buddhist

3 ай бұрын

This is what I thought! Just shows the body can heal ❤

Know EXACTLY what you are talking about. I could see the anxiety (and had some flashbacks of my own) just watching you relay your experience. It is hell. I read somewhere that as far as addictive drugs, Xanax in particular, rates right under Heroin as far as addictiveness, detox and withdrawal symptoms. I have to disagree, and you know what I mean. I could deal (though it truly sucked) with the opiate withdrawal from Hydro and OXY. I could NOT deal with mental of cold turkey Benzo withdrawal. I went through one psychotic break with reality the first time I tried to quit. After 10 days (and six with no sleep AT ALL) someone finally gave me a 2mg Xanax and I slept like the dead after finally getting my appetite and mind back enough to even eat and consciously try to rest. But back on the horse I was and made sure I kept them around, because I was terrified of going through the experience again. Truly, beyond the normalcy I got from the medication, prevention of another break with reality was my number one priority. Sooo, about a year later the perfect storm of events, along with a serious snow and ice storm that locked everyone down, I hit a position where I knew I was going to run out. Had one left the night before the storm, and had been looking for a couple days to supplement my prescription to no avail. Plus, I couldn't afford the street prices anyway. I knew I was in for it. Bear in mind I was taking 6 to 10mg a day for well over 6 years or so. Took my last one the morning the Snow started. It was going to be a long hard icing, projections of 4 to 5 feet and subzero temps. And I was trapped. It's something to resign yourself to the fact that you are GOING to lose your mind in a few days and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. I thought that since I had been through it before I would be able to recognize and better deal with the psychosis and hallucinations. Couldn't have been more wrong. But on the seventh day or eighth someone found me a few and slept. The snow got manageable on day nine, and I hit up a body of mine to get a scripts worth for me. On them to this day. However, I am doing the long taper, and my usage on a good day is only 3 or 4 mg. Five to five and half on a bad day. One day at a time, and every day is battle. Just wanted you to know there was someone out here who is proud of how you pulled yourself from the swamp. Someone who you need not explain the insanity too. I feel ya. And my intellect and personality have definitely been skewed by those psychotic effects and the use of this drug. Doctors should really only prescribe this for short-term use. That's what it's for. But like you said, they aren't pharmacologists, not to mention the kickbacks they get from prescribing certain medicines. It really takes the users and soldiers who have made it or are currently battling their addiction to be there for one another. On that note, thank you for your story. It let's people see they aren't crazy, and they aren't alone. And I'm thankful you made it through to tell it. Be blessed, bro.

@jameslomenzo1139

Жыл бұрын

Xanax don't rate under heroin.

Dude the "thoughts fed in externally" resonates so much. Your story is really helping me and luckily some of my famly have seen a documentary on benzos now in 2022. Ten years ago I went through this the first time and people just called me weak & damaged. Thing are going better this time because I didn't go into psychosis and panic like the first time.

@philosophicalfishing

Жыл бұрын

I’m so happy you’ve found the video helpful. Thanks for watching!

I was in complete psychosis. Also I'd have these crazy off the wall nightmares and wake up to acting them out thinking it was all real. Hearing and seeing things. Scary crap

71 year old female here. 30 years on 2mg klonopin and Wellbutrin. Wellbutrin was a year of weaning without side effects. Chronic fatigue and high anxiety, insomnia, depression since 2021 with klonopin, when I started titration. Jump to April 2024 and at .5mg. I’m taking it slow and still suffering. Thank you for sharing your story. You’ve given all of us a platform to share our experience and know we are not alone. I expect to remain at .5mg until dec 2024 and then titrate to.25mg.

@philosophicalfishing

3 ай бұрын

I wish you all the best getting off the meds. We’re definitely not alone.

You make us feel not alone

I went through a 3 year 8 month taper of xan. Suffered a seizure and hospitalised with swelling on the brain due to a too fast taper suggested by a doctor. My brain recovered but they updated me which added another year to my taper. I am now off 15 months and on acute withdrawal. Some of my interests are returning, but my brain still flips out. Thank you so much Dan for your wonderful video, it brings hope to us.

@philosophicalfishing

9 ай бұрын

I’m sorry for what you’ve been through and are still suffering with. I wish you a full recovery. 🙏🏻

I hear you about the long taper, the detox I went to took me off cold turkey and I thought it was fine to do that. How stupid was I! I am kind of glad I did not know because I may have never quit. I am happier today than I have ever been. I have so much gratitude for everything in my life today. I feel that the withdraw/detox/experience helped me to appreciate the little things, clean sheets, soap, clean towels etc. and helped me to reconnect with God again. When you are stripped of everything, you have no other place to go but up. Your story was so similar to mine , except I stayed 10 days. I am going on four years clean and have no lingering symptoms. I did not sleep more than 20 min. at a time for the first 4 months but now am able to sleep 8 hours a night. Thank you for sharing your story, I have wanted to share mine for a while but have not done it yet.

I was coming off of both also, cold turkey for both. It was truly the most terrifying experience of my life! I was in FL too.

Wow just wow, I couldnt fathom going thru the madness that you went through and come out the otherside without being traumatised by such a vivid experience. I am grateful for you showing the way and letting us know there is hope. I only stumbled across your video I wasnt looking but it had a profound effect on me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart Dan, you truly have walked the walk.

@philosophicalfishing

Жыл бұрын

Thank you, Catherine.

@corvettedm1

11 ай бұрын

I did it, too. Cold turkey because I had no choice. It’s been 4 years and I still get sick when remembering the darkest time of my life.

@michelebergman4336

5 ай бұрын

@@corvettedm1cold Turkey is not the solution !!!! Its ruins ur brain!

Thanks for sharing your story. So sorry you had to endure what you did. I’m currently trying to taper off Xanax, and while it’s hard, I’m determined to get off this forever. So happy to hear that you recovered!

@philosophicalfishing

Жыл бұрын

Thanks and I wish you well on your own recovery journey!

I just watched your video and it made very emotional to hear in such detail what you went through it sounded very familiar my son went through this by quoting cold turkey multiple times and I saw first hand the suffering that it brought about. You going through a hellish experience, satan wanted for you to commit suicide…when you cried out to God he rescued you by yanking you out of satans claws…. You see God has a better plan for our lives but it takes complete surrender and you did. I am now a new subscriber! thank you for sharing your story it will impact many.

I've been tapering really slow because I want to avoid what you went through but sometimes I wish I had gone into rehab and been taken off. I've been sick on this garbage for way to long and the taper sucks. Thanks for sharing.

@michelebergman4336

5 ай бұрын

If u go to rehab & they take u off quickly u go through more hell & it’s still lasts 5 years out!

@internetsurvivor

5 ай бұрын

how's your taper one year later?

Thank you for sharing your harrowing healing journey. What a success story it has turned out to be. Struggling with so many issues at this time and need to know that it will get better. Will keep watching.

You are strong, damn. Glad you found a higher force within.

Incredible story and loving your humble and grateful nature. I have an elderly friend (75) who is a long time user of Xanax and other benzos. He's not ready, but if he ever is, I'll surely direct him to your journey.

I never considered my withdrawal symptoms as Psychosis-but that’s what it was. The intrusive thoughts, and terrible auditory hallucinations coupled with a week of barely sleeping. I experienced awful disassociation-feeling like I was outside my body for over a year. I would get flare ups lasting anywhere from a few days to weeks on end. Thank God most of that has dissipated after two years! It is refreshing to know that their are others who truly understand what I went through 😊

@philosophicalfishing

Жыл бұрын

So glad to hear that you’re doing much better and healing! Your comment made me think back to the auditory hallucinations I had too. There was a small pond outside my window with frogs croaking all night and it sounded like they were inside my head and it was so loud. Crazy.

@kellyjofrey4192

Жыл бұрын

My auditory hallucinations included very dark, sinister thoughts. I was seeing things too…like the devil and demons-thought I was going insane 👹👿👺😔

@philosophicalfishing

Жыл бұрын

Yikes! I had similar things in the psych ward.

@aashish551

Жыл бұрын

How long did pyscosis last

@paulbillington8290

Жыл бұрын

hi kelly, did you taper or go cold turkey?

Everyone hang in there it does get better with time. Thank you Dan for sharing your story and all you’ve been through. It’s been faith that has brought me this far. We do heal! ❤

Thank you for sharing your experience with others that have gone through the horrors of addiction

@philosophicalfishing

Жыл бұрын

I’m happy to do it. 🙏🏻

Great video. Thanks for sharing your experience.

Glad you did not end your life brother ❤ We can get better and DO get better...we need to keep talking about this nightmare to help others.

@philosophicalfishing

Жыл бұрын

Hi, and thanks for the positive comment! Glad you’re on the other side of the benzo prison!!

I hear you if I'd not been cut off in prison I'd be like there's no way I'm ever going to stop these benzo's and the rest like you. I'm not alone. Thankyou so much for your channel xxx

@philosophicalfishing

Жыл бұрын

Sometimes those things that happen to us that we think are so bad(jail/ rehab) turn out to be just what we needed!

@dustygatrell-ru7tg

Жыл бұрын

I got cut off in jail after 9 years of benzo use. It's been 8 months and I'm still suffering, but I've been working out hard everyday even tho it's absolute torture. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get better. I found a out kava , it connects to the same gaba receptors as benzos, the diffrence is that benzos destroy gaba, kava just increases it without destroying it. There's no withdrawals from kava. It provides releif. It doesent Take it away but it's better then nothing.

I am going through a nasty taper off Valium now. I'm terrified of when I come off and don't know what I'll do. I have to function in order to survive and I don't know wtf I'm going to do. God help us all.

@philosophicalfishing

Жыл бұрын

Hi John- I know it’s scary as hell. One day at a time. Do you have a doctor helping you taper at your pace?

You have a wonderful way with words.

You’ve just told my story ❤I’m on the mend, it’s been hard, hats off to you

@philosophicalfishing

2 ай бұрын

Sorry it’s your story too. Hope you’re feeling better. 🙏🏻❤️‍🩹

Always look forward to them

Thank you Jesus that I never took benzos long enough to have to withdrawal from them. Opiates are bad enough

You are a strong person 💜

Thankyou for sharing your your much needed inspirational journey..God bless you for the hope youve given me and countless others, not to mention how many lives youve saved

@philosophicalfishing

8 ай бұрын

You are so welcome 🙏🏻✌🏻

Thank you for your honest share about what it was like for you to go through these experiences. Recently, a colleague of mine took his own life as a result of not being able to taper off of benzos unassisted (Not in a rehab facility). Your share helps me to better understand how torturous it must have been for him. So glad you made it and are reaching out to help others.

@philosophicalfishing

Жыл бұрын

Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry to hear that. It’s so incredibly hard to go through and very difficult to convey exactly how it feels. There’s really nothing to compare it to because it affects just about everything to some degree. I’m glad you’ve found the video helpful and again, sorry to hear about your colleague.

@aashish551

Жыл бұрын

Helen how r u now? What r ur symptoms?.

@michelebergman4336

5 ай бұрын

Many suicide because the drug makes u go INSANE

You're so articulate. I'm on benzo for 6 years. So far so good.

@philosophicalfishing

8 ай бұрын

Thank you

Thanks for the video.. Absolutely true .

Thank you for your inspirational viedo just watching it from psych ward 17 days of valium and this helped me very much.

@philosophicalfishing

Жыл бұрын

I’m glad you’re finding the videos helpful! I know the psyche wards well. Let us know how you’re doing when you get out.

I am tapering off valium after 11 yrs. Down from 10mg to 3.75 as of today 6/1/23 😊

@philosophicalfishing

Жыл бұрын

Awesome, keep going Tina, we’re all cheering for you!

brilliant stuff Dan ! I'm tapering of Lorazepam ( ativan ) here in the UK, and finding it a real struggle. Thank you for your post !

@philosophicalfishing

10 ай бұрын

Hey Anton- you’re not alone. Tapering benzos is definitely a journey.

Thank you so much for sharing your story. BTW, you are strong! Look how far you've come. What lead me to this video, is my son is currently in ICU, from something called Neuroleptic malignant syndrome, which started from getting seroqeul, which was part of the "cocktail" the rehab gave for benzo detox. He had an episode similar to yours and now can't speak, he left the detox because "his gut told him they were poisoning him" (he explained like we were playing charades with hand gestures) which at the time we explained its probably the withdrawals, but in reality, had he stayed he would've died from this Neuroleptic malignant syndrome, then the ER gave a dose of Haldol, which was adding gas to the fire. He's on day 7 of no benzodiazapines, but they don't know if the not talking etc is from the NMS or withdrawals, I believe his benzo had fentanyl in it. So, again thank you for sharing your story, I'm curious what your thoughts are re: what my son is going through. The stories seemed similar. We are I'm Florida too, and he is baker acted. For what it matters, I'm proud of you. Thanks

@philosophicalfishing

Жыл бұрын

The complete lack of any medical protocol in safely taking someone off of benzos is appalling to me. I was in a very similar situation as your son and I truly feel for you both. ❤️ The rehab I was at did the same thing- they tried to give me a cocktail of drugs to help and I finally refused all their drugs as it was only making me worse. The only thing that helped was gabapentin so I accepted that. Sounds like your son did the same thing too as they just were clueless as how to help him. I was never completely unable to speak, but I had great difficulty putting words together and my cognitive function was highly impaired. I did come out of it and slowly start to regain my faculties. Coming off benzos abruptly just shocks the nervous system so badly and it seems that going at a slow pace is the best way to do it. However, many us(me included) had no idea of how to taper. So, I’m praying he pulls through and if you want to please feel free to keep us updated and anything I can do to help, I certainly will.

I am going through the beginnings of this right now. Thank you for the video

@philosophicalfishing

Жыл бұрын

Sorry to hear you’re going through it.

thanks for this...actually inspired me to share my own story with these nightmare pills ..i'm in the thick of it and i'm like you...think i'll just go to detox while i can...i've suffered for so long because of klonopin due to tolerance wd.. thanks again glad you're doing good man.

Sorry to ask those stupid questions bro. Im just so scared of having to go through the same thing as you. I know it won't be as bad since i have the taper option but you answered all my questions in this video. Thanks again man God Bless.

Hey man, thank you very much for a thoughtful and well-told story about the fear and loss of control these drugs cause. I had never experienced any withdrawal from benzos or other drugs despite years of self-medication and reckless behavior. But then I had a 4-5 month (I cant even remember so much I cannot tell you for sure how long haha) bender of super intensive near suicidal use. I checked myself into a rehab center and remember my first night there the reality of what I had done to myself kicked in hard, and I was doing stuff like putting milk in cabinets and dropping stuff right and left. And then when I tried to sleep I started getting that wave of anxiety you described so well. Luckily a kind tech at the night shift could see I was in a lot of pain and sat with me and we watched some movie together and I kind of held it together but didn't understand some of the stuff I saw or did the next few days. Like I'd leave clothes in strange places and finally had dream-like visions at night and thought it was over for my brain and life. Your story is spot-on and thanks for telling it.

@philosophicalfishing

10 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing this story! Sounds like we’ve had similar experiences.

I went trough Benzowithdrawl. I did it in 2 Years. 2005-07 . You got this. ❤️

@philosophicalfishing

Жыл бұрын

Awesome!

@lauriina85

Жыл бұрын

Hi Andrea, glad you survived. Did you ever feel your brain doesn't function normally and can't understand that people can do normal things and live their lives normally and became overwhelmed of any normal things? Did you ever had to isolate and did you have horror waking ups like you feel you die in that second and can't take one day anymore like this? And did you have depersonalization and derealisation and disconnected from people and enviroment and loved ones? I was very active social confident person before I was prescriped a big amount of benzo and no warnings after trauma. After then my brain stopped working normally. I had one rapid and one ct that went badly wrong. Now have dropped from 60 mg of diazepam to 27 mg in over three months and go with Ashton manual and have at least ten months to go. I'm so isolated, can't anymore go even for walk or to store. I feel like I'm in a different reality from other people. I'm disabled because of "brain lock" and fear leaving home. I would have a great life ahead if I heal. Thank you if you can answer if you had any similar problems. All the best to you.

@shaiaheyes2c41

Жыл бұрын

​@@lauriina85What you are going through is normal and it will get better. God's speed!

@lauriina85

Жыл бұрын

@@shaiaheyes2c41 Thank you

Thank you for sharing, I can 100% relate and it really changes your perspective of reality after these type of experiences, 👏🙏❤️

@philosophicalfishing

8 ай бұрын

It absolutely does!

Your a legend my guy

God bless you for your honesty.

Love listening to yr story yr so strong ❤️

Just watched this again, sometimes when I feel really bad I come back and re listen to these, I’m currently trying to clean the house after two months of not doing it my house is trashed every time I’d try to clean it I’d get frustrated by how dirty it was or super deppresed or both and have a mini mental break down and go back to laying down on the bathroom floor if I can just get this done I’ll be able to try to find an easy job again thanks for the video again, it sucks cuss I don’t have any friends anymore so I have no one to vent too or complain too. And I live in another state away from my family. Thank you and please make some videos after the acute withdrawals on how to deal with the depression I feel like now I have major deppresive disorder to were when I got on a walk or get out of bed my legs feel soooo heavy and my back feels sore and I have no energy probably from the benzo indused deppresion.

@philosophicalfishing

Жыл бұрын

I identify with you on a deep level Marc. I know those feelings you described very very well. And yes, I think that’s an excellent idea for the next video. Thanks for the recommendation.

@bobbobarino6213

Жыл бұрын

how are you doing Marc hope you are better. I am going thru very similar issues with some windows recently. Hope all is well

From what you are saying on here i feel so badly for you man, 9 days after 13 years on them shouldn,t of even been an option, 9 days is far to short to do the job, over here in the uk the minimum for benzos free rehab is 28 days and they say that is even to short, you,ve described it so spot on

@philosophicalfishing

Жыл бұрын

It was brutal. Don’t even know how I’m still here most days.

Good video 💯

Thankyou Dan . 😮‍💨❤️

Thanks for sharing. I'm so sorry you had to endure such horrendous suffering... I have experienced benzo withdrawal myself (by taking them as medically prescribed. Then decided to stop taking them without any medical help because the doctor wouldn't consider the benzos had anything to do. I researched and tappered all by myself thanks to the internet and people who shared their journey). I can relate to the despair and ultimate state of surrender you describe. I would like to ask you, how do you deal with the trauma of the experience now that you have physically healed? How do we heal from the emotional and spiritual damage? I have lost not just a lot of naivety but also hope and trust in humanity.

@philosophicalfishing

Жыл бұрын

Hello! And thank you for asking such a profound, and ultimately, important question. In my next video on gratitude that will be up this evening I offer some very practical and simple things that have helped, and continue to help me heal spiritually and emotionally from the harm benzos caused. The fact that you’ve recognized that there’s spiritual damage points to the fact that you’re already probably on a healing path. I think many people figure that once they’re past the physical aspect of the withdrawal/damage that they’re good to go, but i continue to find aspects of my being that beg for attention and need deeper and deeper healing. Meditation, gratitude, connection with universe/source/nature/god…. Whatever you’d like to call it, proper nutrition and rest, self reverence and care, outward flowing of love and compassion, forgiveness……all these things must be incorporated for a wholeness and healing to take place.

Yo dude great message! I’m ten years off those monsters. But for the Grace of God!

@philosophicalfishing

10 ай бұрын

Congratulations!!

I stopped my prescription of 1 mg. of clonapin 5 years ago and did know anything about withdrawal. ( thought it just wore off after you stop ) I was on 1mg. for sleep from depression symptoms. Besides many other horrific symptoms, my digestive system totally shut down and my heart would stop when I tried to go to the restroom and my daughter would give me cayenne pepper in hot water to try to shock my heart and intestines to work. It has taken me 5 years to get quite a bit better, but now when I eat, my body jerks all over the place. I don't think anyone has mentioned this as a side effect for them, but I thought I was going to die.

@philosophicalfishing

Жыл бұрын

Unbelievable what these drugs do! I still have belly distention every time I eat and it’s very uncomfortable.

@leighannmcgowan4859

Жыл бұрын

My body always jerks when I sleep ugh

@allencollins6031

Жыл бұрын

You're not alone. My symptoms, especially the akethesia, flared up any time I put ANYTHING in my stomach.

Wow....What an experience. You've gone to hell and back. I hope your living a enjoyable life. From New Zealand

I'm 18 months of benzos, morphine and antidepressants as well gabapentin. I had to do it cold turkey since my then physician told me, he doesn't believe in detox, tapering or therapy. He simply stoped lrescribing meds overnight without warning and left me to die not even picking up the phone.

@philosophicalfishing

9 ай бұрын

Unreal- this needs to stop and doctors need better education. This is similar to my story. My doctor cut me off and then I entered detox where I was abruptly ripped off in 9 days.

Man, God Bless You.

@philosophicalfishing

9 күн бұрын

@@murielowens697 you as well, my friend.❤️‍🩹🙏🏻

thank you for your videos and the hope you give... but I don't know if I can keep it up. I will be 27 this year and was put on benzos at 21 for lyme disease and other pathogens which gave me the worst symptoms but which were only found out years later when I was already long on benzos. I was on and off for 5-6 years. So multiple withdrawals, quick withdrawals, months weeks of intake and then back down... it was all hell but I always made it. last withdrawal was last year apart from my current one... I didn't know much about benzos and always took them as 'needed'. so after having a severe reaction to an antibiotic this year as we were trying to fight my infections I had to resort to ati again (this year in April) and I've been in the kindling hell of retribution ever since. I tried to get rid of the ati relatively quickly in April after taking it for 2-3 weeks and I went nuts. several ER stays. then high doses. "somewhat" stabilize after a few weeks. then switched to diazepam because I figured it would be easier to go off. then tried to come down from diazepam relatively quickly… completely crashed again. then up again... then slowly... but bedridden without end with 100 symptoms. Repeated attacks of tremors agitation excitement panic in the morning and absolutely unable to do even 1 thing and sometimes to think or speak. am currently on 5.6mg and every step down is killing me... i can't take it anymore... i am a mess and my pain memory and nervous system is so so bad. I don't want to give up my life but it's so bad and I can't get off this POISON and I have the worst symptoms imaginable every day. I even have a precision scale and a syringe and I'm trying to take really small steps but I've already fallen again (did a 0,4mg cut) because I can't stand the side effects of diazepam. (bedridden, lack of energy, unable to walk from dawn to dusk fatigue drowsiness etc etc)...I've been fighting so hard my whole 20s but I'm just done and have no strength. Maybe I was just too stupid and didn't get what I'm doing all the time... but if I hadn't been in such distress I would never have taken those things...

@philosophicalfishing

Жыл бұрын

Your story illustrates exactly how imprisoned these drugs can make us. I was there too and didn’t know what else to do or how to go on anymore. I feel for you and I send you healing and hope. I know that anything is possible and you’re not a lost cause. I get you and so many others do too! You’re not alone!

@aashish551

Жыл бұрын

What happens when u try to walk?? Because am also unable to walk normally having severe back pain

Thanks for sharing Dan, hope you are still doing well.

@philosophicalfishing

Жыл бұрын

Thanks Connie- I appreciate it and am doing fine today. Glad to be on this side of life where I’m no longer using medication to get by.

@conniesaayman5038

Жыл бұрын

@@philosophicalfishing ...a question. How do you manage the anxiety after quiting any meds?

@philosophicalfishing

Жыл бұрын

Staying present, prayer(to whatever one believes in), meditation, breathing, eating well, exercising, staying connected to others. And sometimes the anxiety just sucks so bad all you can do is feel it and keep moving even though you’re trying to do everything right.

@conniesaayman5038

Жыл бұрын

@@philosophicalfishing you went through hell to get to this point, and i therefor appreciate and value this even more. Thanks ao much and take care of yourself.

@philosophicalfishing

Жыл бұрын

@@conniesaayman5038 thank you! I did indeed go through hell to get here and good to be reminded of that because it fills me with gratitude for my life today. 🙏🏻

Benzos ? You have to titrate down till you stop. Freak Out , get back on them . Repeat , over and over and over , till you reduce your daily dose to it's minimum level. Totally stopping benzos may NOT be possible . The level of will power is absolute .

I went through baclofen withdrawal, felt like I was going to die. Now everything juice wrld talked about makes sense. It got so bad I went to church just so I could feel surrounded by people I knew and loved. I was also dealing with chronic back pain and involuntary movements from a spinal and neck injury.

@philosophicalfishing

3 ай бұрын

I’m really sorry you went through that. I hope you’re feeling better. ❤️‍🩹

Man all I remember from my benzo withdrawal was everything looked very small and far away, walking was a nightmare, I was so nervous and the slightest sound was like being runover by a truck. Everything was scary, but it was somehow not distressing. Mine didn’t last too long; I was only on them for about a year. I had a few huge bottles of the highly concentrated liqud lorazepam they give to dying people. I think I was taking 10 mgs of lorazepam at a timeonce a day with 240 mgs of oxycodone also once a day. This was in the late 90’s. I’m glad my addiction problems were all before you could by drugs off the internet; also before research chemical benzos and before fentanyl. I would definitely be dead if I was using those things now.

@philosophicalfishing

Жыл бұрын

Glad you made it past that stage and came out alright. I often forget how bad it really was and it reminds me of how grateful I am today.

Dammmmm you’re STRONG 💪

OMG, I remember the phone on the wall, with the rotary dial! I thought everyone was out after me! Scariest 10 days of my life!

I had a bad issue with weed addiction and heavy addiction of kratom, a natural opiod. Those withdrawals were literally nothing in comparison to narcotics like Ativan and anti psychotics I was on, and I wish I never started them at all. Also battling alcohol addiction lately and it's been terrible for insomnia and tinnitus, so I'm trying to stop. Cna only handle a few drinks here and there

Big pharma loves a returning customer. They know the damage that’s caused and still prescribing like a Pezz dispenser.

@philosophicalfishing

9 ай бұрын

That, they do.

Thank you for your helpful videos. I think the best way is to tapering off very, very slowly, dependant on how long you've been using and how much. Just to avoid a hell of withdrawal symptoms. I've been taking them for about 10 years now, on an average basis of 5 to 6 lorazepam tablets 2.5mg, and would like to taper off for at least 1 year. Want to do this on my own with help of the Ashton Manual schedule.......

@philosophicalfishing

Жыл бұрын

Slow and steady is good, as long as it takes.

@lauriina85

Жыл бұрын

I'm doing Ashton manual too. No windows. Have brain that doesn't function normally and can't understand normal things. I feel depersonalization and derealisation and disconnected from people and enviroment and my loved ones. Third time to try to get off of this drug, one rapid taper and one ct that went badly wrong. Am very social and confident person normally and now i'm isolated a lot because I tell my hell all the time to my loved ones and feel at the store like I'm in my own hell in a different reality from other people. Wish you all the best and that your taper goes well.

Iv been off four years, all physical symptoms left then yet I still have the looping intrusive thoughts and images it won’t let up or anything and I’m really worried that my spouse and I are what the thoughts are saying we are.

My roommate has been on klonopin for 22years…. She has a complete freak out if she misses on day…. it’s too stressful for me as I quit cold turkey and went through the seizures

@philosophicalfishing

Жыл бұрын

Yikes! How long have you been off benzos?

I've been clean from Xanax for 8 weeks and 2 days. Best thing i ever did! Tried quitting before and woke up in an ambulance.. 3 huge grand mal seizures, almost bit off my tongue and wouldnt walk for almost a month :/

@philosophicalfishing

10 ай бұрын

Wow- congrats on your clean time!

@philkasafir.

10 ай бұрын

Thank you brother! I had a very lucky escape this time, luckily this time the withdrawals were minimal because I tapered properly and I was taking zoloft- the zoloft kicked in at just the right time making it easier. Before that it was pure evil, 2 days dry and you're crying, getting to write your goodbyes... it's just awful and I cannot believe doctors in the USA are handing these out like tick tacks

@michelebergman4336

5 ай бұрын

@@philkasafir.so maybe taking something like Zoloft is a solution for people that are tapering BENZOS…SOMEONE in Medical Field has to Start Researching this whole Situation so it makes it possible for people to follow a SAFE PROTOCOL to be able to Taper BENZOS in a HUMANE MANNER🙏We all have lives to Run & can’t just be in bed hallucinating Suicidal Thoughts & not sleeping for years?????

Would be great to talk about acute withdrawal

@philosophicalfishing

9 ай бұрын

Great suggestion!

My psychosis experience after quitting Xanax was insane, went thru it for a week. Everything on tv became real, I thought there was decoys dropping on my house trying to find me so I burried everything I owned in the backyard , my keys, wallet, phone , guns, literally everything in my possession . Noises like scrolling thru an Xbox 360 dashboard was running thru my head. I also had 3 seizures in the hospital, I came out of my body and saw myself lying on the bed, I thought I had died for sure. But somehow I woke up and I’m still here to be able to try and explain people even a glimpse of what I went through for a solid week. This was 5 years ago and I can remember it like it was yesterday.

@philosophicalfishing

7 ай бұрын

Holy s*** that sounds incredibly intense. I’m so glad for you that you survived that!

@RynoDinero

7 ай бұрын

@@philosophicalfishing I wish I could even halfway explain it into words lol. The craziest thing I’ve ever been thru. Thanks bro means a lot .

@michelebergman4336

5 ай бұрын

Only a week THATS LUCKY ! Try 3years

@RynoDinero

5 ай бұрын

@@michelebergman4336 okay

When you say you don't have the strength for a taper, I think that's because you were mistrated and shocked into that malpractice nightmare.

Its crazy how much i relate to this. Did you know? Jesus came down on the earth an gave his life on a cross so we could have the chance to be forgiven for our sins? He payed the fine for our sins so that we can ask for forgiveness an be saved an go to heaven when we die. Instead of hell .its only threw his grace we can be saved. If you ask jesus to forgive you he will. He can change us from the inside out. This is his gracious gift to us, its up to us wether we accept it or not.

@shaiaheyes2c41

Жыл бұрын

Thank you!

@dustygatrell-ru7tg

Жыл бұрын

@@shaiaheyes2c41 your welcome. But god did it not me. I'm just the messenger.

Hi Brother .. I was on 0.5 at bedtime for almost 20 years .. 19 months to Taper almost 18 months Off.. I was BRUTAL.. Imagine OMG. 5 Ml.. OMFG ...Stay Strong Bro,

This same thing happened to me. They diagnosed me schizophrenic smh. Never ever happened to me before that or since I been sober

@philosophicalfishing

3 ай бұрын

Congrats on your sobriety!

I can’t find what I wrote. I need help

That was the hardest thing I ever had to do was stop benzos . I would take a few and a half hour later I actually forgot I've taken any so I'd take a few more throughout the day 20 mgs at the end of the day. At that time I could doctor shop and I would get a few Rx a week until it all came crashing down and I was found out

I only made it 14 days cold turkey (30mg valium, 150mg methadone and 600mg seroquel 20+yrs) the experience literally added to my PTSD. Didn't eat, sleep, was in psychosis, too weak to walk, couldn't even open a sandwich bag. You're shaking, sick, it's pure torture. Dizziness and light headed, seizures, suicide looks like a sweet relief. The symptoms are ENDLESS. Makes quitting methadone cold turkey seem easy... A new dr is about to put me through it and I'm not ready. FML. This dr has never even heard the word micro-taper. The paranoia literally drives you crazy, then you finally hit a spot when you've accepted your fate. ... I'm terrified. These Drs deserve to lose their licenses for the way they experiment on us and what they create. I have the Cell in my DVD rn. Wierd lo.

@philosophicalfishing

6 ай бұрын

Dude- what you described is hell on earth. If you’re in the US or England there are doctors who can deprescrible you slowly

@deadbeats4894

6 ай бұрын

Glad you made it through.

The one I went thru about 3 to 4 months ago sounded a lot like yours Dan, but I did mine in the pleasure of my own home. I completely destroyed my computer room like a mad man got to love benzos. I was destroying my own property. One night I was trying to watch TV and I was trying to adjust a rabbit ear antenna it fell behind the TV, so I picked up the TV and hurled it outside and later burned it. Memories like the corner of my mind. Scattered Pictures of the way we were.......... Dam Benzos (It is still out in my yard along with two other TVs in my trailer LOL). My laugh is sometimes really kooky now almost like a crazy laugh when I think about it. When I look back it's like man, I wouldn't change a thing LMFAO. Bob Bobarino (a work in progress)

@philosophicalfishing

Жыл бұрын

I had a similar experience where I smashed my TV to bits in the garage with a bat and then drove off with my wife looking at me like I was nuts(because I was).

@bobbobarino6213

Жыл бұрын

@@philosophicalfishing 🤣

@bobbobarino6213

Жыл бұрын

@@philosophicalfishing Thats crazy I did the same exact thing but I usually didn't drive off I would just walk back in like it was normal or something. I used to hit myself, punch holes in my own wall, break TVs, and the time I broke down (1st month) destroyed my entire computer room, wrote insane stuff all over the wall. It's still there I need to paint 😀. I used to be so hard on myself for soooooooo long its almost doesn't seem real and it's always been benzos. I feel like I am possibly starting to poke my head out of the Benzo prison cage. I can't believe I survived this long. I think it's why I am typing so much because it's me coming back and realizing all this time of torture it was the benzos. Your community has really helped me really begin this healing process. The simple fact that I 100% know that this is not my personality now is really freeing up a ton of trauma or PTSD type stuff stored in my body. I thought I was Benzo Bob Bobarino.

@stan427

Жыл бұрын

keep going Bob. Stay strong with the work in progress my friend.

@bobbobarino6213

Жыл бұрын

@@stan427 Thank you Stan I really appreciate that. I have made it 8 months clean and still going strong and getting better with time. Who knows what the future holds. Bobarino

Thank you for demonstrating the power of prayer, i am not religious, i mean this from a more spiritual standpoint.

@philosophicalfishing

3 ай бұрын

Yeah absolutely. I’m not religious at all either, but there is something for me about turning my attention to something which is part of me and also separate from me that I feel is worth my conscious energy.

What about trauma from all the suffering?

Its really a nightmare its like prison time in yur head Thanks for sharing

We aren’t doctors. How is it the doctors believe a rapid taper would be helpful… and with keeping your comfort in mind?!?!? I’m only a few min in- but during that rapid taper and then to nothing…. You could have died! Horrifying. On day 21 I had plans to end my suffering. I called my dad 4 hours away and told him I was done. He was able to get to me in 2 hours and he saw me in the raw real deal. He tried to rub my back to comfort me during a round of the insane muscle contortions. And I couldn’t handle him touching me. Every sense was completely elevated. I wanted my dad to help me and hold me. But I couldn’t tolerate any physical touch. Gabapentin is just enough to pull one through…

I feel you. 👊

Can we experience any of this type of horrible experience in later stages of withdrawal? I mean after 5 months? I am now 5 months off xanax after tapering for 5 months. In this 5 months, a new horrible symptoms have come, that are very intense and debilitating mentally. Please help.

Hi Dan my friend I was going to msg you tonight to see how you are .(.Good I hope).... and your video came through.... I can relate to everything you say In this video(great video) I had psychosis for about 3 weeks to a month..... I ended up in the regular hospital and they weemed me off in 5 days and I was taking 15 - 2mg xanax bars at the time...came out hospital and straight back on them.... in my acute stage at the start(don't know if you had this) I promise you man but I could see with my eyes closed...my eyes where closed but I could still see around my room with a kinda green grey TV screen with my eyes shut...... I also thought demon's wher in the room at one point..... there's definitely a spiritual thing going on with this and I think it might open up a part of the brain we don't really use ...call me crazy but that's what happened with me ...its nuts... I could go on with alot more with other weird shit that happened but don't wana bombard you with things.....Keep On Going..A Day At A Time.

@philosophicalfishing

Жыл бұрын

Always great to hear from you, Thomas. And wow, you went through the ringer too! I agree that there’s something spiritual going on and you saying how you could see with your eyes closed and how it seems to open some parts of the brain/consciousness that we don’t normally utilize. Thanks for sharing that as it’s not something many people talk about with regards to withdrawal.

@thomasearly37

Жыл бұрын

@@philosophicalfishing there's that much that goes on in this withdrawal its unbelievable.... its like a painfully bad lsd trip.

@cduby1424

Жыл бұрын

What you go through coming off this drug, someone who hasnt gone through it would not have any way of knowing the level of hell you go through.

@bobbobarino6213

Жыл бұрын

I had the demon thing happen to me as well. My girlfriend and I got into an argument probably my fault LOL and I tried going to sleep in my room. I saw a demonic spirit come under the door in my bedroom. I was freaking out I turned of TV was playing black magic evil curses meditation on KZread on repeat. I was holding onto my Dog, but it was probably more freaked out at me than anything. He was probably like oh shit here we go again what is he seeing now LOL. Then I was like it must of came out of my girlfriend bc we got in an argument, and she sent some demonic spirit after me freaking hilarious when I think about it now. It is crazy what these dam things make you think. I was prescribed 3 10mg valium I was taking them within the first two weeks or less than go into withdrawal every month this went on for a while maybe a year or so. Then in my mind I am trying to offset the withdrawal with hydrocodone, Adderall, alcohol, weed and maybe other things here and there. Brilliant idea it is amazing I am still alive. But those day are long behind us. Hope your doing well today Bob Bobarino

@thomasearly37

Жыл бұрын

@@bobbobarino6213 I was seeing demons to.... Black shapes in ma bedroom...looked like figures in robes with hoods up... scary stuff.... definitely opens up different parts of the brain through this withdrawal process.... I could see with my eyes closed to in the first few days of stopping.... every time I looked at the time is was always tge same time like 11.11am or 12.12 pm ... always even times...then I'd be trying to watch TV and noticed the end credits would have things like my name comming up or the place I lived.... its amazing what happens in this...... have a great day Bob.. im having another better day today....im hoping it will Continue. I was taking other shit to...dhydrocodien ..gabapentin.. weed...booze... ..I didn't take the benzo as prescribed.... I just abused the shit out of it 😆 what's done is done.... just trying to fix it... never going back to that.

Hi mate, top video again, i,m currently on 50mgs of valium and have been for two years, i also drink alcahol but i,m trying to ween to stop, i,ve been considering taper which i think will be best for valium but the rehab want alot of money and they say 3 months min for valium, would you reccomend rehab cos i,ve hears alot of people saying it makes it worse, would be be grateful for your view?

@philosophicalfishing

Жыл бұрын

Good question- I went to rehab and they took me off 5mg klonopin daily use for years down to zero mg in 9 days. I would highly NOT recommend doing what I did as it almost killed me and damaged me badly. Slow and steady is the main thing when coming off benzos for almost everyone. My philosophy is that I don’t care how long it takes to get off of something as long as I’m headed in that direction. I would suggest a slow and steady taper plan and stick to it, it seems that most people do much better than I did when they go slow.

@paulbillington8290

Жыл бұрын

@@philosophicalfishing ok mate thanks for that

@michelebergman4336

5 ай бұрын

@@paulbillington8290NO REHAB! It takes much longer than 3 months to taper! More like 1 year! Do it yourself

Oct 26 will be 4 years off klonopin. It was a small dose of .25mg twice a day for 11 years. I never took the full dose but let me tell you..I built up tolerance very fast. We had a fire xmas eve 2017. After the fire I began taking a quarter of the tablet every night for sleep. By spring..heart palpitations..they coukd not figure out why. Then crazy fears hit me..and progressed. It was horrendous. 9 week taper using Ashton manual. I was done. It was hell. Even at that small dose. It js demonic. Stay strong❤❤❤❤❤❤

@philosophicalfishing

10 ай бұрын

Congratulations on being free from the benzo prison! Breath deep with gratitude. We’ve come a long way.

Just to let you now I did my best this took me over 2 hours because I am so messed up sorry if there are any misspelled words

@philosophicalfishing

Жыл бұрын

My friend- you are going through it right now and I’m so sorry for what’s happened. These drugs mess with us so bad. I hope that you’re following a slow taper plan. Your story is similar in ways to mine. I was put on 5mg klonopin per day(and was taking even more) and was also on bipolar, depression, and heart medication. I’ve since found out I don’t even have a heart condition(or I was miraculously healed), and I certainly don’t have bipolar. Coming off the meds nearly killed me and it’s taken years to heal. The good news is that you’re not a lost cause, you’re obviously very strong and resilient or else you wouldn’t still be here. I know how hard it is to try to look at a screen and type when you’re benzo damaged, but you typed clearly and accurately.

Dan, I'm desperate with my brain not understanding anything. Still. I don't know what to do. I'm now at 8 mg of valium (tapered 52 mg in 9 months). I wake up to torso horror and death and suicidal thoughts. I have a chance to go to university drug mental hospital, i don't know when but doctor is sending my infos to them. I was stabilized like you remember in late 2021, once, having valium first time after rapid taper of oxazepam and brain lock and everything bad went away for few weeks and i was my normal self. But taper was too quick and went badly wrong. Since then nothing has helped. One ct, one month, kindling to klonopin and now tapered nine months with Ashton. If i would have got to taper slow when i was stabilized i would be normal at this point. I can't function with brain not understanding and am homebound and fear everything. Isolated alone. I have also temazepam to taper. I sleep 6 hours still but i am the whole day in hell and can't believe this can be true, i had totally normal life in spring 2021 before that bad trauma and constant panic attacks and prescriped a big amount benzo and no warnings. I go more and more weak and crazy. The feeling that i wake up is not from this world. Brain shut down and terror and benzo and going crazy and nothing to do. I can't function at all. And i loved to exercise a lot and cook healthy food. If i go to that hospital they will taper rapidly. I have been in this hell for two years. Just that one time stabilizing for few weeks and no brain lock or anything. Before that good few weeks i was one week at detox center and they took big amount of oxazepam away and my whole body was numb, i puked, didn't sleep, akathisia, brain lock, almost in psychosis. It was really bad. And still had so good chance after that with stabilizing with 10 mg of valium. I'm very sick. Going crazy every moment, constant torture. I have urge to end this but can't. I would have so good life if I heal. I fear all the time i will end up somewhere tortured and poisoned forever. My body, mind and soul can't take this anymore. Would like to just get off but don't know how i could even be at that psych drug hospital without being told I'm too crazy and mentally ill. I fear this brain lock is permanent because it has been there for so long. Just one proof it was bad withdrawl symptom because it went away with valium 10 mg. I am so devastated that that doctor was on right track but made a mistake of too rapid taper still. I'm so exhausted and traumatised and desperate. I suffer every minute, not having life at all. In constant fight or flight and terror. I miss my normal life and fear I'm permanently damaged and don't know how to get even rid off these drugs. Have tapered two times from big doses in two years. I don't stabilize between the dose drops. Can you comfort me. Am i really the only one with this bad brain shut down all the time? You have survived through hell. I'm glad you got a good life.

@lauriina85

10 ай бұрын

@@sallysailor5642 I have been damaged 2,5 years up and down doses. Now at 4 mg of valium. And temazepam. That ct in spring made this brain lock this deep and since then took klonopin being desperate (prescriped) and still had brain lock. And now tapered 56 mg of valium (klonopin crossover) all over again. I'm so exhausted and tortured and devastated, waking up to psychotic feeling, can't get outside, I'm so brain locked I can't understand a simple thing and normal life at all. I can't be with my partner or anybody. My mom and partner bring me food and meds. I'm going totally crazy every minute. I had a good chance to survive late 21 when I was rapidly tapering oxazepam and had crossover to valium 10 mg for the first time and then brain lock was acute symptom and it went away and dr/dr also and i could function normally, go to walks and store and cook and gym and be with people. I was normal me again. But taper was too fast also and went badly wrong and then ct and kindling and brain lock has been there the whole time. 💔 I was very positive and grateful person in spring 21 before bad trauma and panic attacks and huge amount of oxazepam prescriped. Thank you for caring. I can't do anything for my self. I have been through huge tapers and one ct in these 2,5 years. All the best.

@stardustring

4 ай бұрын

Pray pray pray to Jehovah God. Use his name. Ask Jehovah to help you. I'm in same. Boat. I was in the right path. I had anxiety , I decided talk therapy was good for me. I started my therapy and had a good feeling about . It. My Dr had prescribed me paxil,but I told him I would not be taking it. He said that was fine . I didn't throw it away in garbage . My husband kept insisting and insisting I take. I said no no no. My anxiety was easy fix with therapy I new I was doing the right thing for my self. People think it an easy fix "just take medication it will fix everything" ridiculous. When you are dealing with anxiety and emotional stress you need therapy. I listened y husband. My life is ruined.

I've been off for almost a year and a half and still have horrible insomnia and cognitive fogs.

@philosophicalfishing

10 ай бұрын

I’m sorry to hear this. Cognitive issues plagued me for a long time and insomnia too.

@jenniferfree4144

10 ай бұрын

@@philosophicalfishing fortunately it does get better though

@philosophicalfishing

10 ай бұрын

@jenniferfree4144 absolutely!

@peteypete8180

2 ай бұрын

How long on the insomnia for both of you? I’m suffering here and it’s only a month though

@jenniferfree4144

2 ай бұрын

@peteypete8180 I still struggle. It's not as bad as it was but it's a lot.

This happened to me but it was for many many weeks..it was hard, it was horrific

Dan, did you have body aches? It’s been Almost 4 months and at night when I try to sleep my body hurts so bad. Did you have this or anybody else on here? How long did it last if you did. I can’t sleep!

@philosophicalfishing

10 ай бұрын

Yes! I also felt like I had the flu most of the time. I think this lasted at least 6 months for me.

@ozzy.....7383

4 ай бұрын

I feel like my muscles have been tense when I sleep filled with adrenaline and then they hurt. Also I wake up from nightmares feeling that and panic and scared where I can’t move. Also sometimes nightmares and can’t wake up been taking about .25 Xanax when that happens and hour later usually ok or another .25. Only took about 10 mg total in my life so I don’t understand. Also if I drink it helps then hours later I feel unreal and like I’m dead

How horrendous. 9 days for 13 years is CRIMINAL. How do we educate Healthcare providers?