The thing they say about buses? I think that's "you're getting the bus now" mate...

@jannearo328

3 ай бұрын

I 'ate you, Butler!

@UPnDOWN

3 ай бұрын

Push bike more likely!

@niallsommerville9813

3 ай бұрын

@@UPnDOWN strangely enough Ian has one he doesn't use much.

@robertsedgwick1629

3 ай бұрын

"bus wanker" but you would need a cinquecento really

The best horror films leave the protagonist in a mental asylum as a harbinger for the protagonist for the sequel

@UPnDOWN

3 ай бұрын

😆 Well this'll be a great one then

@DanPlimmer

3 ай бұрын

“I bought your old Cmax” UpnDown slowly turns his dishevelled head to the protagonist bringing his face out the shade darkness into the light and screams “RUN” Jump cut to the Cmax sat on the ramp

@jannearo328

3 ай бұрын

And you still have three antagonists left from the original...

Always good to see a Proclaimers clip. Their breakthrough hit, letter from America contained the line "Linwood, no more"

It's times like these you need humour to keep you going. A dark, twisted, warped, sense of humour. May good luck be around the corner. All the best.

I feel your sadness about Linwood. There's been a couple of (unrelated to cars) factory sites I'd like to have visited but sadly, they're now long gone. Same as the brick-making industry on my doorstep that I now wish I'd photographed back in the 70s and 80s - all gone.

@groeacht8525

3 ай бұрын

There are at least 2 surviving car factories in Scotland, so all evidence of that industry is not lost yet, perhaps if you don't catch Linwood you could go see them

UPnDOWN, Your videos always brighten my day, so I subscribed!

These things all come at once then you get a good spell.... hopefully! Shame about the last buildings being demolished.. I plan to take my Wartburg to the remains of the factory site and Museum in Germany but as it is with you, its bloody miles away!

Also I too feel your pain. Of my fleet of 8, two rebuilds are scuppered by the weather (and wiper linkage alignment!), only one of the three working cars actually works, one of this number is sat waiting on me diagnosing a gearbox leak, and the remaining one sat forlorn due to a strut/brake/ABS (f'k knows exactly what, but its living up to its last 3 'FKB') thats been a 2 week saga of parts, time, weather and a lot of confusion. Sheet happens!

Hilda is iconic, she will bounce back better than ever before. The Ford C-MAX, maybe is cursed? But she hasn't caught on fire so she will bounce back too. The Citroen C6 is most likely a battery that was throwing up codes, and as for the Citroen Xantia, when sorted will be cornering as sure footed as a mountain goat on rails with gusto, while feeling as smooth as butter, over the bumps. Good luck and God bless.

Same here mate. Things go well for a matter of days or weeks and THEN just as you need them to work, as you will them on, you go head first into a singularity of issues and suddenly you go from multiple roadworthy cars to none at all

Watching videos in a row and just having heard you talking about copper lines not being good for this; and then a line break. It's such a "Told you so" moment on yourself. Hope to see the Xantia back in actions soon along with Hilda and the rest of the fleet. 👍👍

Cheer up!! Its spring again!!!

My Activa was a lovely car and a brilliant drive. From new 02 to it's 5th birthday everything was fine. From then on in, a whole host of problems, inclluding hydraulics, made me get a better car. The return pipe 'octopus' rupture was the final straw for me! Good luck with your repair, whatever it is.

@SterkeYerke5555

3 ай бұрын

I'm sure mr. Kitch is used to a BX octopus though, so the one on a Xantia should be a breeze! Weirdly though, they seem to go at random times. The one on my v6 was replaced in 2005 but has been fine ever since, while the original one on my Tct lasted all the way until 2018.

Your videos give people a sense of what the German people call ' Schadenfreude ' .

@UPnDOWN

3 ай бұрын

Keep getting told this!

And THAT is how you diagnose a car: "It went kedoonk. And then later kedoonk kedoonk and then little kedoonks" "I see. Any scronch scronch scronch from the nearside?" "No, but I certainly heard a muffled eeeeeee!" "Oh, that's serious. Let's get it the workshop"

@UPnDOWN

3 ай бұрын

tEkNiCkLe

Sorry to hear of your bad luck continuing with the fleet Rich. I never realised that the last part of Linwood was being bulldozed, as you say more heritage lost and if I had known there was a little gathering I might have popped along to have a look.

Dear Reader, Would it help Mr. UPnDOWN to know that there are other total hopeless figures out there, like me as an outstanding member of this group, not even finding a job to start to own one of this pleasant French disaster cars. Of course I can make strange hissing sounds an poor some water on the floor, but that can never reach the level of professional bad luck. So I just drift off to my own muddy country, were I can rethink my lack of broken cars. With Kind Regards, Michel F. van den Brun No fool, but feeling quit foolish

When you get that feeling that your car hates you no matter what you do.

Consuming alcohol is always my answer. Good times ahead for sure, chin up.

I hope you can make it up to the Paisley building mate. After all this poor luck there has to be some good coming up.

Obviously when you were talking about Linwood, you need to put a Proclaimers clip in. I just didn't expect it to be I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles).

@UPnDOWN

3 ай бұрын

It's the only one I knew! (Plus it referenced the distance from here to there, which is actually 449 miles, not the 500 I expected, but it's fine, nobody noticed that....

@ambrosenuk

3 ай бұрын

@@UPnDOWN Yep the distance was definitely a nice reference (I assumed it was close, but somehow I didn't bother to Google). The Linwood no more lyric in Letter to America's super poignant too. Hope things are getting better.

Sorry for your woes. Coventry had a pi**y attitude towards Rootes Group buildings for years. I remember a bit of a kerfuffle Even by the 90's when one of the last buildings associated with the factory or people connected with the company was flattened.

Mate don't feel bad l had my Ford Falcon ( think Boxy shape Granada GL 80's)4.1 litre , air-con ,auto ,p/s 4 speaker , 2 tone , 90,000 Kay's $8,000 , 7 years puncture free then 2 in one week 1 front & 1 rear ,it ain't the end of the world. Love from Melbourne Australia 🌏🦘🐨🐊

I feel for you Kitch, but it's some of your best content

@UPnDOWN

3 ай бұрын

People love the misery of others!

Ar first I thought you were going to finish this video by revealing that you'd bought Ian's GSA...

@UPnDOWN

3 ай бұрын

Hahaha! No, I can't help but think that would have made life harder.

My Activa embarrassed itself in the works car park a few years ago with a catastrophic leak in a similar position... A pipe running along the lower edge of the nearside inner wing that runs all the way around the engine bay to the power steering control valve (I guess the pipe routing makes more sense for a LHD car). That pipe consists of two steel sections with a flexi part in the middle where it transitions from the engine to the body, and even though it's common to all Xantias rather than Activa specific, it is no longer available from Citroen. I sent the failed old one to Pleiades who replaced that section of the pipe with cupronickel and I fitted it in the car park when it came back...

My Activa did something similar after about 1 month of ownership. A rear return pipe failed in the middle of nowhere in Wales, and I had to get the AA to ship the car back to England

@UPnDOWN

3 ай бұрын

Arrgh!

Commiserations, but it can only get better!

Sorry for your continuing bad luck Ritchie but it's said you make your own luck and owning very old complex cars must be tempting fate hope your luck changes soon but your videos are still great

@UPnDOWN

3 ай бұрын

Is a Ford S-Max very complex though? lol

Ouch, I've never even seen an Activa (or any Xantia for that matter) leak LHM at that particular spot. Calling it bad luck is surely understating it. Still though, I do look forward to the video you're putting out on it - as I'm sure you do as well, 'cause you'll have a working car by then 🤔. You probably won't be the last to get a leak there

I hope that you find an activa piping diagram. The one you showed doesn't even have the anti- sink valve. The hydractive valve has 2 high pressure feeds, one from the height corrector (via the anti-sink valve under the LHM tank) and one direct from the security valve. My recollection is that both those pipes run above the inner wing, so wouldn't be spraying LHM under the car. Maybe it is a pressure feed to the activa system?

These kind of things is why I don't have old cars. I like them, I just don't have the time to spend forever working on them and can't take the time off work when they decide to not work.

Ever considered a Toyota? I know it's cheating, but it's the good life.

@UPnDOWN

3 ай бұрын

I had an MR2 once.

You're going to need the SM as the reliable daily driver at this rate! definitely overdue some good luck from the car gods

Look on the bright side. Think of the content it gives you!

@UPnDOWN

3 ай бұрын

Miss HubNut taught me "Chaos is content"

I look forward to the video where, you jump and down as giddy as a skool boy, as everything is well.

I love the way modern cars give no warning, they just explode broken parts at the most incorrect time.

At one point recently I had 9 vehicles at my disposal and only one of them was roadworthy and legal. I have, however made progress. I now have 7 and four of them are usable. (one of them is not the same as the previously, and it's not mine) I feel your pain.

@UPnDOWN

3 ай бұрын

You're doing better than I am!

The Xantia power steering pipe runs in a similar area aswell I think. One of the few pipes on a Xantia that isn't coated. They rust well...

Don't worry. You are now due a run of good luck. You have run out of things that could possibly go wrong 🤔

@UPnDOWN

3 ай бұрын

I haven't worked on the SM yet...

Ford is living up to its "Fix Or Repair Daily" ;-)

FWIW...you did well to avoid burning to a crisp there Kitch, mineral oils like LHM are *Very* explosive when blown into a mist. Not just a little bit flammable.

@UPnDOWN

3 ай бұрын

I don't think it's *that* much of a mist, to be fair. Not sure what the flashpoint of LHM is but I've never known of it to go boom. I did have some catch fire once but only because I was welding near it and didn't notice there was a stray plastic pipe.

It hasn't gone on fire yet ! Touch wood

I think you need to get all your cars in a line and give them a good talking to ! Or buy another project 😂👍

@UPnDOWN

3 ай бұрын

Good idea. The line will have to start where the S-Max is as it won't drive anywhere.

Love the imp

I had a leak from just under the front scuttle almost under the windscreen what a bitch to fix the access to get in and fix it was a nightmare

Weirdly, out of all the cars, the C6 is now looking the most likely to get back on the road again if it's just a battery. Also how have you not pushed that bloody S-Max off a cliff? 🤣

@UPnDOWN

3 ай бұрын

A crazy amount of restraint!

@Sid3300

3 ай бұрын

@@UPnDOWN At least it drives well and the 5 cylinder engine is a peach.

Put Hilda on a trailer and off you go to Scotland! 🙂

@UPnDOWN

3 ай бұрын

Crossed my mind, but it's like "Do it properly, or not at all!"

@tridaks

3 ай бұрын

@@UPnDOWN True, however, there is more than one way to crack a nut, or however the saying goes, lol 😂

I swear MoTs curse cars. I don't mean parts that were tested fail, I mean stuff just kinda... happens. Like on the way back from my dad's V6 Mondeo getting through it's test, being hit by an Audi TT. How jolly that was.

And the PCP Hyundai / Kia looms ever nearer.........hope not 😉

Looks like the Saxo is the least of your car troubles they can be fixed

I would be putting Hilda onto a trailer and trailer the car up there and get your snapshots of it out the front. But that's just me

@UPnDOWN

3 ай бұрын

Aside from the fact I don't have a trailer, or a vehicle to tow it, I had considered this.

Now I see what you mean about what a high-pressure LHM leak looks like! 🙈 - Oh well, it can only get better from here....right?

@UPnDOWN

3 ай бұрын

Definitely wouldn't miss it 😆

Content... Yey

There's never been a better time to make a video about identifying and repairing a previously unknown piece of hydraulic pipe in an Activa ... As for Linwood, do you have a car trailer? Or is that cheating! All the best

@UPnDOWN

3 ай бұрын

I don't, I'd have to hire a flatbed. Kinda takes the shine off it though.

What you probably need to make it all better….is another car. ☺️

@UPnDOWN

3 ай бұрын

Yes, that sounds entirely sensible!

I’m here bro

Hyd ramp oil in an S-Max isn't going to make it go up and down sadly. You must be due some good luck and soon. The local Imp chapter tried to get permission to have something in the car park outside the St. James, the owners of the building were less than enthusiastic.

@UPnDOWN

3 ай бұрын

Why does that not surprise me?

Oh well. I’m sure next week will be better 😬

@UPnDOWN

3 ай бұрын

🤞

That’s an easy fix. You replace these things in pairs always. Also just replace the battery anyway don’t worry about testing it. Modern batteries are absolute crap.

@UPnDOWN

3 ай бұрын

Driveshafts? I never replace them in pairs. They won't both wear at the same rate!

@anakinskywalker4113

3 ай бұрын

@@UPnDOWN well clearly yours were pretty even since as soon as you replaced one the other one followed. So I’m not sure why you wouldn’t do them as a pair. I not big on doing just one of something. I prefer to replace drive shafts and most suspension parts in pairs because while I’m working on the car I don’t want to have to come back 6mths later to the other side. I do it all at the same time. My personal preference. I prefer to do more preventative maintenance all at once than to keep coming back forth time & time again.

@UPnDOWN

3 ай бұрын

I think this was an extreme case tbh. Nearly 20yr old driveshafts having to be pulled and manipulated into awkward angles to get past a dumb design flaw.

@anakinskywalker4113

3 ай бұрын

@@UPnDOWN agreed so replace every bloody thing you can bushes all in one hit then it’s done for the next 10 years.

@UPnDOWN

3 ай бұрын

@@anakinskywalker4113 Ideal, if you have unlimited funds and need the car for another ten years.

😎😎😎😎👍👍👍👍

I was going to sell my Toyota to buy a Citroen C5 but you have put me right off the idea

@UPnDOWN

3 ай бұрын

Haha! Depends on the C5 really, some are fine.

I think all "petrolheads" at some point have a week from hell ( or longer in your case) - I feel your pain. mine was last week, but all sorted now. And yet we carry on with this obsession , perhaps there is help for that ? LOL. The last two digits in the reg of my car are SA, ( location of registration ) fellow nerds can google where that is - hence my post now.

Who's Gusto and why does he like going round corners?

Perhaps something to think on..... To keep doing the same thing, expecting a different result, is the real definition of lunacy.. Imps always boiled over.....Imp Joke, If you go out in the morning and there is no puddle under you imp, its because its run out of water! It was a real good design badly executed.. Good on you for persisting sir..

@UPnDOWN

3 ай бұрын

I feel you aren't aware that this Imp is nothing like a normal Imp!

@scroggins100

3 ай бұрын

@@UPnDOWN Nope, watched the other vids. Think its a good idea. I just (probably unfairly,.,sorry) used it to make some bad old Imp Jokes. TBH, I think its cute. I had a thing for Posh Minis...Elf. Had one called Dobby. Good luck with yours.

Let me guess there bulldozing it for houses

@groeacht8525

3 ай бұрын

Nah, probably just new industrial units. It sits between a retail park built on the pressed steel site and an industrial estate build on the rest of the factory site.

@UPnDOWN

3 ай бұрын

A Lidl, apparently.

Please know, that I only pressed like to help the algorithm. I did not press like because I like what has happened. I truly feel your pain. Sometimes I wonder whether my cars all talk to each other overnight to decide which one will play up. I have had days when I seriously question my car choices....

Small round furry things 🙄

If you come to poland you can have our 2012 bmw 318d that we got scammed on for over 5k lol. Cooling system is fucked entirely and there's a cold knocking and It sounds like a structure. Then you'll know what a headache is hahaha

@UPnDOWN

3 ай бұрын

Mmmm, does sound a headache, but I'm sticking with my ten cars, nine of which don't work scenario.