To the person who wants their thoughts to go away! I grew up in a narcissistic family! I have been in narcissistic relationship! I didn't like it, but it was the norm for me! I can't get rid of the thoughts! Most of the time when I think about those ppl I thank GOD I'm free of them all! I sometimes say loudly & shout I'm free! Let narcissists think they've won! I've learned to not care who won as long as I am freeeeee!!!

@Benjaminleo815

10 ай бұрын

Excellent comment!!

@dnk4559

8 ай бұрын

Love this!

@Benjaminleo815

8 ай бұрын

@@dnk4559 Same!

"Be aware of a narcissist that tries to apologize to you only to take them back/forgive them, but then turn around and blame you for it. It's never genuine with them! 💙KZreadr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships "

@SurvivingNarcissism

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks, Rachelle.

I watched a young step son get so so spoilt from 6 to 12, getting what ever he wanted. He started treating me just like his dad did. Spoiling a child sets them up to fail!!!!

They’ll block you if you criticise them…or ask them to take responsibility for their dishonest behaviour.

@thebullwhisperer916

2 жыл бұрын

Or stone wall you. Then come back around Wayy later acting like nothing happened!

@dianadeane9233

2 жыл бұрын

@@thebullwhisperer916 yes! After 12 months of having been blocked, I got a message about him having a melanoma on his toe, “I thought you’d want to know….” And I thought why????? So I replied with compassion and he was on for a chat- like you said, as if nothing had happened- and he was complaining about how other people don’t understand- and then how lonely it is for him to be 2 standard deviations above the norm in IQ.. This time I didn’t reply (hugs to myself for not getting sucked in for so long this time) x

Thank you for helping those of us who want to engage in healthier relationships

Once I started wanting to talk about healthy changes, then it was not okay

It was quite an eye-opener to realize that I was in love with a narcissist

@skinnyway

2 жыл бұрын

I believe every person I know be it family, friends, bosses, or just strangers in the store are narcs. those are the only kind of people I have gravitated toward in my whole life after a childhood surrounded by nothing but narcs who hated me. I dont know how to find others who wont hurt me or use me. I keep trying to engage in a healthier relationship with me - but I am still trying to figure out who that is and the world keeps interfering! 😆😆😆

@amandaliverpool3374

2 жыл бұрын

@@skinnyway You found Dr.C and team healthy ❤ I'd say that's an excellent start 🙏Look in the mirror, trust yourself and trust your gut 👍

@kumaridmoodley

2 жыл бұрын

Same here ..but after 25 years I finally left..

they keep it going because we dont see the game every day. we wake up with a fresh mind and heart and they wake up with a fresh spin on the same old story line. and we dont see their desire for chaos because of our emotions. But once they squash that emotion in us and we see them - staying is no longer an option. you cant unsee who they are when they kill your love.

@beautypablotamarini7315

2 жыл бұрын

excellently said

@MrRandy1221

2 жыл бұрын

You can't unsee it. Exactly! Wish I had seen it 45 years ago.😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

@janicedeeter577

2 жыл бұрын

So true

@amandaliverpool3374

2 жыл бұрын

Various narcs in my life tried to destroy my spirit. It didn't work 😊

@lizapedersen8435

2 жыл бұрын

It is so true, Patty. Yet, I’m still trying to get through, and It makes me feel like I am the Narcissist🤦🏼‍♀️

It appears that the 'false self' eventually hardens into some form of personality disorder.

@SurvivingNarcissism

2 жыл бұрын

Very accurate.

@skinnyway

2 жыл бұрын

excellent thought. I have often wondered at the step between being the hunted to becoming the hunter. all psychos have this pattern. and for some reason I attract the worst kind no matter where I am. work. home. personal life. I dont work anymore because of them and now I have a narc neighbor trying to kick everyone out because she wants a patio with a fence. I have a fence. Her own son wont allow her to live with him and his wife. They never talk about their childhoods so you have no clue what they might have endured to make them this way. All we get is the end product.

@wsurfs

2 жыл бұрын

Narcissism IS a personality disorder..!

Don't ever fall in love with potential. That's where I went wrong. After learning what a narcissist is and what was really going on, I try to focus more on my part because I can't do anything about anyone but myself. Lesson learned!

@9jemima

2 жыл бұрын

It isn't "potential" anyways--as w all things, it is the "idea" of potential--because they have no capacity for truth. We do not share the same values with them. 85% of scapegoats & blacksheep in FB recovery groups self report as INFJs, the most intuitive type on the Meyer Briggs. The other 15% were all NFs. Is your core group of narks and flying monkeys made up of Sensors? Okay, then chances are Sensors are out to Censor/Censure/Sensor your intuition. A Sensing Uncle told me on the way out the door that it was the height of arrogance to make my own judgements and come to my own conclusions. This was a man who had taught Kant's Moral Imperative--to give some context. In the same way that they project their negativity onto us? We are equally in error and project our idealism, and hope, and faith onto them. This makes us super easy to gaslight. Intuitive Feelers are nark bait. We have to wake up.

@dmcjoe2900

2 жыл бұрын

@@9jemima I'm not familiar with Kant's Moral Imperative. Just looking at my part to learn from it and not repeat it. Thanks for sharing!

@dmcjoe2900

2 жыл бұрын

@@9jemima I guess I am familiar with it, just not where it came from! ☺️

@9jemima

2 жыл бұрын

@@dmcjoe2900 Basically Kant says: it is necessary to be fully human to turn away from received knowledge and create your own understanding, or response to people and to life that is in line with you. This can work for INFJs(MeyerBriggs Highly Intuitive) because we come with our own inner template for right and wrong...but, it can never work for Sensing types. All they have going for them is received knowledge. There is no ability to self reflect because there is nothing in there. And, while they cannot be forced to love the truth--the idea is worth something. And, they would be so much worse off without it. It is very distant from them--like the North star--but, for the best of them it is still a very very valuable guide.

@9jemima

2 жыл бұрын

@@dmcjoe2900 Do you know your personality type? Any form of Intuitive feeler is catnip to the nark--if you came from a narky family dynamic, that is: from an environment dominated by a mostly Sensing group? If you were a family scapegoat? Odds are you are and INFJ. Research it.

“If it is not right do not do it; if it is not true do not say it.”-Marcus Aurelius

@thebullwhisperer916

2 жыл бұрын

My son follows this teaching! It's really not too bad! I haven't found any bad quotes according to Scripture yet!

Narcissist kindness is lure to a fish, it to keep you coming back. This people do not have normal feelings.

Husband is a recovering golden child, me still recovering from severe childhood abuse. It takes therapy, even medication, but we’re still working together after 33 years. Gentle hugs to all of team healthy, I just wanted to share that all is not hopeless, even if you are scarred.

@robinsmith4499

2 жыл бұрын

Your words are encouraging. Thank you

@ursulabuckley9552

Жыл бұрын

Thank you 🙏

To get a narcissist to leave you alone, stay away. Do not answer their calls or texts.

I love it when you call us Team Healthy, thank you, Dr C from Belfast

@SurvivingNarcissism

2 жыл бұрын

Someone needs to be healthy, so it might as well be us! Glad to be with you there in Belfast!

@patriciapotter3167

11 ай бұрын

I love it too, makes me smile 😊

I've realised that even if the narc knows they're wrong, they're excellent at burying their heads in the sand and you will never be able to dig it out. Solitude although can be disturbing at first, can be a blessing. You have peace. I strongly recommend people to join groups with like minded people or similar hobbies. Thanks again Dr.C. Nice one 👍

@billyworkman4204

2 жыл бұрын

Solitude is were you deal with this disturbing yes, but it's the path to understanding and allowing you the time to really think about what you actually been throw, to admit this wasn't normal for people to go through. And it not you fault.

@amandaliverpool3374

2 жыл бұрын

@@billyworkman4204 absolutely 👍

@anniebrowning7354

2 жыл бұрын

@@amandaliverpool3374 I know, they are like these birds (whats they called?). Havn't had contact with narc for some time, so we had a short message between us and ofcourse he calls me things. It's havey stuff, god! want to call the police. But I know he's trying to be scary. That dumb person. I get so upset! I'm so tired being called a mental case and such. Sorry Friend!

@amandaliverpool3374

2 жыл бұрын

@@anniebrowning7354 Ostriches they are. If they are calling you that then definitely back off. I told you. You DON'T deserve this it's Not your fault ❤❤❤

@chayo4537

2 жыл бұрын

It's disturbing when people say solitude is disturbing. That's weird

Being a scapegoat caused me to value honesty, having been fooled, gaslighted, manipulated and lied to so often. Fairness has been important to me, seeing the narcissist's favouritism all my life. Narcisstic parents create confusion by unjustly blaming and shaming their children and having double standards. They have no wisdom or good logic to offer, so their children have to learn it elsewhere.

@melaniabettarelli8619

Жыл бұрын

At our own expenses,waisting years to figure simple truths

@michelepascoe6068

Жыл бұрын

@@melaniabettarelli8619 yes

When the narcissist needs us, that is a baiting phrase for healing co-dependents. They will accept the narcissist vulnerability’s and feel good about helping, when out of nowhere they are smacked in the face with verbal, emotional, or physical abuse, and suffer, for helping. This is what is used so we will get bitter, rightfully so, and confused, mixed with the love, we stay to figure out what’s going on, and as we stay, we find ourselves trapped in their webs. Or not trapped but can be aware of their behavior and pray for them. We do have the choice to choose how we deal with what is given to us. Shalom

@thebullwhisperer916

2 жыл бұрын

So true. Not everyone asking for help is going to appreciate or reciprocate the love. Not everyone that smiles at you is your friend. Shalum Yahuah baruk!

They feel nostalgic and miss the good times, so they try to recreate them with their new supply. My ex-narc husband, duplicated beach days, snow skiing, restaurants, and overnight stays with his new supply. He also gives her the same printed cards he gave me. So, there's nothing original about him. He's just mirroring what I planned and did for him.

@jennyanderson4796

2 жыл бұрын

Ugh

@Hatbox948

Жыл бұрын

I experienced this too. Plus, my narc would write the same nonsense to different women. What I thought had just been for me turned out to be scripted BS.

Dr. C. - You are my only source of therapy. My ex narc has left me broke, broken, and destroyed. Please know... SO many here share my delima, and we SO appreciate you and your understanding of this abuse! You are a God send to all of us! Love and Blessings to You! 🙏❤

@SurvivingNarcissism

2 жыл бұрын

I'm of the opinion that there is more than one way to find therapeutic guidance. Obviously, there is one on one counseling, then there are good books, video classes, recovery groups, and of course, YT videos. That's what I meant in the beginning when I mentioned how wonderful it is that I can get the healing message out via the internet. So glad you benefit from it. #TeamHealthy

@anndra1160

2 жыл бұрын

Thank You! ❤🙂

Doc you could be saving lives here by doing these videos and therapy sometimes is realizing this leads to healing and answers our confusion! I was confused a lot by my ex husbands behavior!

@SurvivingNarcissism

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you, Mary.

@dawnhovie9806

2 жыл бұрын

@@SurvivingNarcissism Why don't therapists teach the skills and strategies in dealing with these personality types like you do? I have been in therapy for years and have had many different counselors. None have given me the tools that I get from this (and a few other) channels on narcissism.

My narcissist and I are walking on the same road. I see the view in front of me. I’m living my life and walking towards my goals. Even though he is next to me and has been for most of my life, he’s always been walking backwards.

@siriastridkristensen4272

2 жыл бұрын

what a beautiful way to put it 🦢

@aaronkwolfe

2 жыл бұрын

agreed, @siri. Not just beautiful, but quite accurate.

Watching from Scotland Glasgow Appreciate you Dr.C your videos keep me sane in a toxic abusive relationship xx

@SurvivingNarcissism

2 жыл бұрын

Glad to be with you there in Glasgow. My wife and I want to visit Scotland in the not-so-distant future!

@annav61

2 жыл бұрын

@@SurvivingNarcissism Dr. C you and your wife would appreciate Scottish Highlands x

They are seriously insane. 😳 why are they allowed to be part of society 😔 They wiil seem like your dream come true, put a good act on to real you in , get you hooked while all the time they are setting you up for them to tear you apart. They are dangerous, self absorbed, abusive people and they do not care who they hurt. They destroy lives and take pleasure in doing it. They are in actuality your worst nightmare.

@janetjones5087

2 жыл бұрын

Totally agree with you i have suffered for 19 years but had enough,they are simply evil

@Hatbox948

Жыл бұрын

They do suck you in with charm. But, when that cat comes out of the bag, it never goes back in.

Carl Jung said, “There are indeed parents whose own contradictory nature causes them to treat their children in so unreasonable a fashion that the children’s illness would appear to be unavoidable.” I found this quote at a time when I was just learning about narcissistic abuse. In reflection, there is simply no way my childhood would have produced a healthy adult. Even though my parents were middle aged and had raised 2 kids to adulthood before I was born, they still clearly have no idea how to actually be a parent, in any way. In understanding that my childhood was not in my control and I was in fact a victim of two deeply damaged people, I've now reconciled with my own guilt. I know without any doubt, that I will never be able to pursue health in a deeply sick environment. It was a piece I needed at a time I needed it. In proper, daughter of a narcissistic mom, fashion I was dealing with tremendous guilt, shame, anger, resentment. I spent years feeling bad for someone who's never once actually considered me. Toxic parents left me with a toxic world view . It's a battle for my own freedom and identity.

@MrRandy1221

2 жыл бұрын

Same here!!! Swam for 17 years competivley pushed and pressured by my father. I found out he's gay 4 years ago! Was the golden child only to be discarded for his fear of being found out. No wonder I feel crazy at times. Your not alone. Good luck and God bless... 🙏

@DJH97

2 жыл бұрын

Yes. Lifelong battle of being the scapegoat. Blamed for all the horrible stuff done to me by sisters and their husbands as well as my parents. Brother in law beat my dog with baseball bat. Never an apology. Blocked my front door with shovel of dog poop (we lived in separate apartments in same farmhouse). Never apologized. My oldest sister beat the crap out of me growing up and after we became adults. But everything was always my fault. Now they have parents bday parties and don’t invite me. I moved to another county after divorcing my narcissistic husband and am in good counseling. Not sure I’ll ever heal. This has been going on for 50 years. These snippets are just tips of the iceberg. Distance yourself as quickly as you can. Don’t stay around hoping it will get better because it doesn’t. I’ve wasted my life in hope.

@junejelm423

2 жыл бұрын

Well stated! Ditto from me....

@susanmercurio1060

2 жыл бұрын

I feel sorry for anyone who falls for the psychological untruth that the child has to bear the burden of guilt and shame. I was lucky enough to know from an early age that my mother was the one who was wrong. Later, I was told by more than one psychologist that "it is a miracle that you are as sane as you are, given what your parents gave you to work with."

@mday3821

2 жыл бұрын

I am a daughter of a narcissistic mother. "I spent years feeling bad for someone who never once actually considered me." I have thought these very words. I was raised to tend to my mother's needs & wants. I suspect most of us are and I have wonder, why am I the way I am? Because I was raised in a very unhealthy manner. I have to come to terms with the fact that I was used & abused by people that were suppose to love me and that I had no control over who my parents were. Your words are profound and they spoke to me. Thank you for sharing.

Good Morning! Something I have grown to be very appreciative of as I have continued to watch your videos this last year...is when you stop and laugh. It lightens the atmosphere especially when we are learning about more difficult or uncomfortable topics. I often go back and revisit videos I have watched in the past and it DOES FEEL SO VERY GOOD, to be able to stop and pause and think about a point you are making, and be able to laugh. It also brings me a sense of comfort because the things I can laugh with you about, show me the areas I am healing in.

@spiritgurl1111

2 жыл бұрын

Thx for this-I was just saying this to a family member who’s about to begin their healing journey. I’m at the able to laugh stage/they’re not But I told them trust me, when you do get to this phase you’re gonna notice it and laughing is the best medicine ☺️

I'm told by one parent that the other is a narssicist and the other says the other parent is a psycopath!! How do you deal with that?! Do you believe them? Yes, I have seen evidence of narssicism!!! How do I protect myself? I live in another state miles away but there are phone calls!!! I love them both!!! These are my parents we are talking about!!

@jennyanderson4796

2 жыл бұрын

Love the sinner hate the sin ...... awful how confused I get trying to stay safe thinking I'm being cowardly myself when I want to pull the wool off their eyes I want them to change & be repentant , , , to do good while they still have life in them - I've wasting energy on them a perfect example why we need to let go .... detach .... come apart - Guess I had to learn it first.

It is so weird that they give to get something. I was always taught to look out for others and give them things from garden and help others. There are people with good motives out there, but it takes time to find them out if they don't have that attitude. I absolutely despise someone who gives to get. Disgusting.

As I learn more about narcissism, the more I see signs of narcissism is my own past behavior. I know I wasn't a narcissist. I was modeling behavior of other narcissists, and was later able to identify and correct my errors (and continue to do that work, every day). Is there a name for people who are influenced by narcissists in their behavior, but haven't internalized the narcissistic thinking?

@eph2vv89only1way

2 жыл бұрын

Angie Atkinson calls this “narcissistic fleas “. She says if 2 dogs lay beside each other and one has fleas, when they walk away both have fleas. Narcissistic traits can be picked up by exposure to narcissists but it doesn’t necessarily make you a narcissist. The important thing is that someone who isn’t a narcissist will recognize their faults and work at changing. That is you

@chayo4537

2 жыл бұрын

Followers?

@melaniabettarelli8619

Жыл бұрын

Co-depended ?

@eph2vv89only1way

Жыл бұрын

@@melaniabettarelli8619 Codependency doesn’t give you narcissistic fleas. But being around a narcissist can.

@Gerri_Liz

Жыл бұрын

I call it getting sucked into the sickness. I’ve been sucked in to many times. Thank God for channels like this!

How do you forget the past experiences, I can't forget. Some much damage has been done to our family, from my mom, me and my brothers and sisters will never get over it. I'm the only one who admit this exists.

@vickiparsons5698

2 жыл бұрын

I feel your pain.. 💞I was watching Dr Carter for a long time now.. one segment he described pain was so helpful.. so my my analogy is this.. if the skillet is hot on top of the stove and I put my hand on it and I feel painful I learned to next time get a pot holder to remove the pan.. pain teaches us how to handle the situation when it comes up and not to get hurt again course I'm a country girl and my skillets are usually iron and you would think that if I'd done it several times my hand would be so burnt I wouldn't be able to use it again.. that's how we learn.. big hugs lots of love strive for peace and stay right with it with what you learn and it my age I deserve to have peace I have done a lot for people that unappreciated it but I didn't do it for show I did it because I have a lot of love in me no matter how many times I gotten hurt I learned now I can handle it a lot easier and I have no regrets because the more you use love the more you have it inside of you that you can give yourself a big hug and appreciate yourself for what you've done and accomplished it keeps you healthy 💓🤗

@DJH97

2 жыл бұрын

You don’t forget. I just learned to manage the memories. Education like these videos. Books. Counseling. Get away as fast as possible. The longer you deal with them the longer and deeper the memories are entrenched. I spent decades hoping and praying for improvement. It never came. Don’t waste your life.

@billyworkman4204

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you, your story means much to me

The only relief to narcissist , and their games, is to know they exist no more.

Talk about the "slave becoming the master." They need others to vouch for them or they don't know who they are. Craziness!

Thank you for letting me know that im not alone

Hi Dr C, thank you for all your excellent videos. Still undergoing abuse because of keeping the grandchildren engaged. Put up with so much for the sake of the family. Need to stop but I just don’t know how without hurting the grandchildren especially. I live in a beautiful part of Worcestershire in The U.K.

I used to be a strong woman n now I don’t recognise myself, Your videos DR C have been my therapy in helping me try n pull myself n my life back together. Thankyou .. From Manchester.

@rg-mi5hh

Жыл бұрын

Don't give up. Lose them if you are safe. They just aren't worth the trouble they cause. Sickos.

@marilyntill9507

5 ай бұрын

You will get there…. takes time Have being at it for along time (2) yrs.in.Getting better each day. 💕 dr.c always tell us to have Gods ✌️ Peace. Love that Comment. Enjoy the Day.

I think a real problem is that someone who has grown up with those dynamics might pick a mate with similar dynamics. A person who remains single rather than marry a toxic person might be able to grow past it, the one who is with the toxic person will stay trapped.

@Hatbox948

Жыл бұрын

I think that's my situation, and my older sister is in the same predicament. Our husband's are like tantrum throwing two year olds.

Golden child is also in a bad place, and when the smarter/wiser scapegoat- who wasn’t groomed to be subservient to a covert narcissist mother- goes no contact, the golden child is stuck with a bitter tyrant of a mother.

I just want to speak to the advantage of being the scapegoat. Of course I can only speak for myself, but I see my invisible sister and my golden child sister slways striving for mom's good graces. It's ugly! (mom's hold, not them) In a weird way, she did me a favor, because in my whole life (I'm in late 50's) there has literally been not a single thing I have ever done that "bought" her goodwill, even for a second. At some point, because I couldn't be ok no matter what, I just defaulted to being authentically me. No reward for not being anyway, so that is easiest. Despite all the pain (some still lingering) she accidentally did me a favor. Oh, if she knew... she would be sooooo mad!!! 🙂

@deborahcollins1100

2 жыл бұрын

That’s a great way to look at it I believe. A great attitude💜

This was mind blowing to me....ny brother 4 yo older is the golden child and im the scapegoat and what was described is EXACTLY how my situation is.

I recommend listening Eckhart Tolle to learn how to let go of the past. Live in the now! Let go of old conditioned thoughts. Bless you all. 🙏

Hello Dr. Carter, Thanks for your uplifting thoughts and encouragement. Lafayette Indiana. 😊

@SurvivingNarcissism

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks, Pamela!

Appreciate these videos! Narcissitsnsre so subltle and tricky!

The question regarding scapegoats and the golden child resonated with me. My sister in law has often told me that her brother, my husband, was the golden child who could do no wrong, do and say whatever he wanted and she was the scapegoat who could do nothing right. I was thinking my idea that my husband is a narcissist was wrong because he wasn't abused or neglected as a child. Wow... Another light bulb moment for me. ♊

Thank you, Dr. C

Chatting with a friend last night. Thank you for the learnings I could pass onto her. We are both grieving for years lost to narcissistic spouses, but are now reconnecting and planning for peaceful nature walks with our dogs as soon as my puppy is a bit bigger. Hugs to Gus xx

@SurvivingNarcissism

Жыл бұрын

I hope you and your friend can be encouragers to each other!

@annewrites...8385

Жыл бұрын

@@SurvivingNarcissism Thank you

They only have real feelings for themselves and will show any feelings they have to show to whatever person is in front of them at any given time. They have a different face for every person to get what they want from them. They are very good actors and liars. Narcissist are not born that way but learn those ways from others they grew up with usually someone in their family. They know how they were treated and make us pay for that treatment of them.

I struggle daily to get past it.

I was married to a golden child.....when I had had enough of the verbal insults and blame after his mother moved in with us in her 90's(being raised to respect my elders I bit my tongue for 3 years...then I didn't), I blurted out that a few decades ago when we were separated and working towards a reconciliation, her son had slept with me in the afternoon and another woman that night (wish I had had people like Dr C to educate me then....what a mistake that reconciliation was! ..did not know what trauma bonding was until recently)...but I was just trying to have her see he has flaws and he makes mistakes and definitely has a cruel side(albeit passive aggressively) Anyway, after my saying this she looked at him ..He gave a little shrug and said" I don't remember that"(selective amnesia). And she looked at me and said" well he's "perfect to me". Enough said...

Why is taking so long to forget about them? 4 months still fighting to forget

@Voirreydirector

2 жыл бұрын

Deepest wounds take time dear. Praise yourself for getting this far.

@nazila686

2 жыл бұрын

I guess to good people with big heart?

@aaronkwolfe

2 жыл бұрын

Go laugh in the places you've cried. Change your memories. Start over somewhere. New group of friends, new hobby, etc. are a way to recreate the new you without the old them.

Thank you for all of your insights, after finally deciding to leave my narcissistic husband after 21 years, I’ve started looking for resources on how to deal with him seeing as we have hav children together . Your series on Narcissism is the one that speaks to me the most. 🙏

California, good morning Dr. Carter. I watching this in the evening so I can listen in peace. The relationship with a narcissist is always a one way relationship. It's their way or no way. I wish he could be different but I know that will never happen. They never change and only get worse as they grow older. Thank you so much Dr. Carter because you help me so much. I just wish he would get his on place and leave my house.

Dear Dr C. My first saved video of 147!! was 2 years ago. Team Narcissism vs Team Healthy: Let's Get Specific. It brings tears to my eyes. I am addicted now to your talk and it gets deeper, so easy to understand the terms you use e.g Gaslighting. I understand myself better now, in my late 70s. Obviously i adopted narcissistic mannerisms but i laugh about it now. Thanks Dr L Carter you are a gem.

@trudismith9712

2 жыл бұрын

I just like to add that in one of your videos you said, narcissism should be taught to children, that they are prepared to recognise bullying. Bullying will never be rooted out.

Brian Texas here. It was 110° yesterday as per my trucks thermometer. Thank you for this subject. I have wondered how in the world my ex-husband has managed to continue his reign of terror for so long.

@SurvivingNarcissism

2 жыл бұрын

October can't get here soon enough!

I have a topic your viewers may benefit from hearing about. It’s when siblings deny your childhood abuse. My cousin and I have both experienced this. In my case, when I have talked about my childhood my sister denies the abuse. Once she even messaged me to complain about me “bashing” my parents and speaking ill of the dead. In my cousin’s case his sisters don’t remember the abuse. Yet his brother says it happened and I even saw evidence of it once as a teen. One KZreadr I was watching explained that sometimes the golden child just never saw the full extent of the abuse and sometimes they forget the abuse as a coping mechanism, especially if they experience cognitive dissonance because the good side of the parent conflicts with the abusive side. So I get it now, but covering the topic may validate your viewers’ experiences and help them to understand why their siblings don’t remember

You have helped me SO much !!! I've been in a horrific marriage with a narc for 24 years, together for 27. I'm making moves to get out, and you've helped me feel so much better about myself. I live in Carrollton. I would love to take you to lunch sometimes.😁

@Hatbox948

Жыл бұрын

That's a long drive to Waco!

Grateful for the insight you have passed to me and so many others. God bless you. May God bless us who have to deal with those people in this condition. Narcissists don't seem to want His help.

Hey! from Egypt🇪🇬 You are truly appreciated doc💝 I’m preparing to escape from my narcissistic husband and you are helping me stay focused on the reality that I MUST leave. Staying would be detrimental to my wellbeing.

@SurvivingNarcissism

2 жыл бұрын

Best wishes to you, Veronica.

My husband was the scapegoat, he is now the copy of his abuser. Its been a rough 26 years.

Yes. They never quit. The role of victim is seductive

@MrRandy1221

2 жыл бұрын

So easy to have a victim mentality after being exposed to these people for so long. One of my hurdles for sure. Check out some of Eckhart Tolle's videos. They help me. 🙏🙏🙏 💙 Good luck. God Bless. 🙏

I’m from New Zealand Central Hawkes Bay Thank you for healing me I’m free from Narcissist abusive marriage and have never looked back, healthy calm Keep up all your great work Dr Les 😂❤

@SurvivingNarcissism

Жыл бұрын

Thanks, Kim. #TeamHealthy

😊 breaking through the Insanity is exhausting

Dr. C warm regards from Belgrade, Serbia! ❤🧡💛

@SurvivingNarcissism

2 жыл бұрын

Glad to be with you there in Belgrade!

Thank you Lez....that's better than less !! You have helped me a lot to understand the Narcissist....as you say they keep things going. . I ousted my daughter 7 months ago. This time my Narcissistic daughter has emailed 20 pages of unadulterated lies about me & my 2 sons to several of my friends including members of my Buddhist faith & also to MY lawyer. This I see as her desperate attempt at throwing up smoke screens because she has to appear in court on 21/7 /22 on charges of horrific physical violence towards me... leaving huge bruises, busted lips, welts & a massive "Chinese burn" from elbow to shoulder... the pain of which caused me to moan in agony & collapse across the kitchen sink then throw up.. She then screamed "and there is more to come". Her physical violence always accompanied by verbal abuse of dreadful name calling "put downs" of having never been a mother & how brainless I have always been etc etc. ( plus destruction of my personal goods when she feels like it) Her explosive volcanic rages at the drop of a hat..I lived with a Narcissistic husband for 25 years & for 18 years my daughter. My question : Is she more than Narcissistic?? I am 78 years old & she is 54. Thank you again Lez.

Thanks & good job. I'm tired of fighting with narcissists. I'm ready to start focusing on me (overcoming codependency).

How do you get a narcissist to leave you alone? Do not have an emotional reaction to them! Once they learn you don't react they move on to find another source of supply. Dr. Carter you are already doing an excellent job teaching people how to have calm steadiness around narcissist. That is the key to getting them to leave you alone.

@SurvivingNarcissism

6 ай бұрын

So true

Hey Dr. C, Please speak about the narcissists who actually do deserve all the entitlements/benefits they get in life. Talking about a double amputee 100% disabled Vietnam vet father. All the entitlements bleed into the rest of their life and relationships. Thank you!

Yep I always tell my teen grandkids to please never ever treat your spouses or partners like their granddad treats me! I remind them it is definitely not healthy at all and very abusive. The older ones speak up to him more and our adult daughter - their mother - speaks up to him too more but in a respectful way. She’s a Christian thank goodness but of course she absolutely knows how her narcissistic father behaves.

For me learning can be theraputic and I am so grateful for people as yourself for thos information. God bless, hugs and prayers to all.

Husband was a scapegoat as a child....and he is a narcissist just like his step dad. We are getting ready to divorce...I am tired of the abuse not only toward me, but my animals as well. Run.

Omg… my sisters could get away with everything! Not me… I was forced to take their punishment !! I chose to stop the violence! They still treated me like crap… so…. they got removed and blocked.

Good to know I’m not insane. Bring on the healing.

@SurvivingNarcissism

2 жыл бұрын

Yes!

@carynsettle2121

2 жыл бұрын

That's the spirit.....thanks....

It does get hot here in Texas! Last month, my apartment AC finally died, as I live in a pretty old building, built in the '70's. I was negotiating with the Manager, prior to its last blast. It got SO hot here in the last few days that it actually still operated, that I began to hallucinate. I called the Manager and told her that my apartment was built over an active volcano. She could tell that I wasn't joking, too. That's when she gave in and allowed me to get a brand new AC! 😄

Because they think the narcissistic pattern works. I have a text from my wife to me in our first divorce action: “I just cannot believe you do not believe that divorce is narcissistic? One must become a narcissist in a divorce.” And she is still winning in our custody battle. 🙄

Hi from California where it's been cool and lovely 70's. I appreciate you so much! Go team healthy.

I am finally getting rid of my narc brother and look forward to a peaceful life once again. Thankyou Lord..and irs my birthday on 6th

@SurvivingNarcissism

2 жыл бұрын

Peace and freedom. A nice combination. And an early happy birthday to you as well, Patricia!!

My roommate is gone.....he has moved on with the help of his family.......Thanks to your help.......even though I'm done with him I'd like you to know that my possible new roommate was being interviewed without him knowing while I was waiting for this other one to move out.....well 2 red flags back to back.......So glad I found you DOC.....and I will be tuned in.....JESUS IS LORD ✌️🌏

Waco, TX Didn’t know until yesterday that you’re also in Waco! Thank you for using your gifts to help myself and others. Gus cracks me up when he decides not to sleep on his blanket😄

Southern California here!!! 👋

@SurvivingNarcissism

2 жыл бұрын

I'm envious!

I appreciate your time and knowledge. Thank you 😊

I couldn't make it for the live chat..💞..I love the questions 🤗 on here..I'm learning so much from team healthy.. wow.. with learning allot I feel like we are riding a lifeboat with peaceful waves of dignity, thank you for being the captain of this wonderful course we are taking.. it's like being on a vacation for as long as it takes us to peace.. love's and hugs 🤗💖 to team healthy 💓

I would appreciate any direction or input you could offer as it relates to the best way to withdraw from a female covert narcissist while limiting impact to children in terms of a) children becoming new source of supply, b) subtly identify bad behavior in age-appropriate ways via direct communication (not overtly bad-mouthing the narc), c) guard against potential alienation attempts, d) how to confront inappropriate/unjust behavior by the narc, and e) protect kids from narc abuse. Such a delicate situation! Much love and appreciation from Groesbeck, TX!

I am from western Australia, thank you so much for your chats, helps me a lot 💗

@SurvivingNarcissism

2 жыл бұрын

You are so welcome! And I'm glad to be with you all the way over there in Western Australia.

Blessed to live at the cool, foggy foot of the San Francisco Bay Bridge in Emeryville. I grew up in Texas...too hot!

@SurvivingNarcissism

2 жыл бұрын

Be glad you are in Emeryville right now!!

Hiii I am from Los Angeles and I luckily found you! I just want to tell you how much I appreciate you, your words and your approach. I have to be around these people and when I do and i occasionally fall for it emotionally because I have been so deeply conditioned… But now afterwards I listen to you and get back to balance and understanding. And this allows me to stay in my empathy and civility. Thank you ! Love you! 🥰

Thank you from Sweden I really learn every time I listen to you dr.C,you are so good to show me new angles to think about this narc-problem .

One of your best, Dr. C. 😊 This examination of the long-term pattern(s) of the narcissist is fascinating. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

@SurvivingNarcissism

2 жыл бұрын

You are very welcome

Almost 90 here today in Indiana! Makes it hard to wanna go outside sometimes.

My friend, thank you. I send you love.

@SurvivingNarcissism

2 жыл бұрын

Love received, with gratitude.

Love your insight Dr C. Your guidance has helped me cope with my narcissist mother. Functionally yours from down under 😊

@SurvivingNarcissism

Жыл бұрын

#TeamHealthy

Thank you very much for your amazing, helping , informative videos. I am watching from Istanbul and I am half Dutch- Turkish 😊

I love to tune in to you several times a day because you're my KZread transferred father figure 😜

@SurvivingNarcissism

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you.

@DevorahTafus

2 жыл бұрын

He even looks a lot like my dad. And he acts like him too, somewhat, being laid back, gentle, and helpful.

No!!!!!! Let them all go!!! Go together and away from us normal people!!!

Dr. C, do narcs ever end up committed to a psychiatric facility? I'm asking this because there's no possible way that they don't drive themselves insane! Lol.

I thought I had it together knowledge-wise about narcissists...and I was leaning on my faith in order to gear up to see my narc apt manager about my shower not working (since 7/2) I'd put in SEVERAL maintenance requests and PERSONAL VISITS to her office...eventually, I put in an emergency request directly with the maintenance crew (maybe a broken water line?) ...this set off her RAGE! I called my attorney friend who's going to put the fear of God in her, so now I get to see if I can grow a spine over the repercussions...heavy sigh...

@skinnyway

2 жыл бұрын

narc landlords are the worst. mine sent pest control over here without a 24 hr notice after todays Live session. After making me pare down my garden which wasnt in my generic lease and saying tenants cant have pets now without any warning, they are going to have to adhere to the law and give me 24 hr written notice like state law says to come into my home. I left a notice on my door stating so and that I have no bugs and will not allow chemicals to be sprayed in my home. Waiting to see how well that goes over. ❤💖

@Cat-oj4oz

2 жыл бұрын

@@skinnyway Oh girl...nothing like stress to make your hair fall out; please keep us posted...I have an update to my situation: I decided to go over my narc manager's head with mixed results: a maintenance guy was dispatched out to my place ... and he got to witness a full-blown panic attack...all of my stress just imploded. While I'm happy my shower will be fixed after a part is ordered, I'm sorry that our new guy had to witness what he did. The head honchos are coming out to investigate my assertions and I suddenly need to be anywhere else...argh...

Hi. Enjoying Moderate temps up here in Michigan. Stay cool there in Texas. Always grateful to have this access to the insight, knowledge and common sense to help me feel on steady ground again when the narcs knock me off-balance with their nonsense!

That last question hit me dead on.

Dr. Carter, you make my day. Thank you and stay safe. ❤❤

@SurvivingNarcissism

Жыл бұрын

You are so welcome, Darlene.

I asked the narcissist if she missed me. She said she missed the adult time. Meaning the disappearing acts of when I was there to watch our sons. And that is who she is. She don't feel bad about anything she did. She just thinks if I am that stupid I deserve it

Today my divorce was finalized. 25 years. I’m free!

@margaretmlydon6910

3 ай бұрын

👏 👏 💐

Ich have been working in Va. in road safety of all things, talk about a real good look at the residents of Jonesville for the most part they are good people but there are the few who will deify basic law, I hope for all our sakes They grow fewer Goodnight Sir!