Full podcast episode: kzread.info/dash/bejne/l4h2o9p9Zs_aYso.html Lex Fridman podcast channel: kzread.info Guest bio: Andrew Huberman is a neuroscientist at Stanford and host of the Huberman Lab Podcast.

Every single manipulation tactic all but implies the use of the lying tactic and the gaslighting tactic. I actually dislike it a little calling out gaslighting as a manipulation tactic as it's actually an effect. All manipulation tactics will contribute to it by nature of what manipulation is. Some tactics however certainly take the gaslighting effect to a whole different level. Blatant lies that are so bad they insult your intelligence is one of them. That kind of shit will make you feel like you are in the twilight zone after a while. Here are some of the reasons they do this: To test their control. To feel superior and/or entertainment. This proves to themselves how much control they have over you. In the end, you will give up and you will not leave (trauma bonded). In the process of getting to the giving up stage, you will go through some pretty nasty emotional states ending in massive amounts of cognitive dissonance to swallow all of that. Cognitive dissonance is a trauma defense mechanism where you essentially lie to yourself in various ways so that you can bring back some semblance of equilibrium to the insanity you find yourself unable to escape from. As part of the ‘backing you into an emotional corner’ tactic. This is a tactic where you are manipulated into being emotionally unstable inevitably leading to you losing your shit. This gives the narcissist a big dopamine burst, they feel powerful and superior having so deftly controlled you and manipulated into this emotional state. To finish the little game they play, they make sure to point out how unhinged and unstable you are and suggest that perhaps you need help or medication. Of course, you will internalize all that shame and guilt and the million other raging emotions they have created and swallow all that essentially allowing them to scapegoat their blame and accountability onto you. Bring on some more cognitive dissonance and gaslighting effects. To condition you to expect less respect, and ultimately put up with more abuse. You will tire of the inevitable circular argument trying to convince the narcissist of the blatantly obvious lie and eventually find yourself challenging them less and less as you subconsciously accept the fact that if you do it will just make your life and emotional state more miserable and you will be denied the satisfaction of any kind of ‘win’ even if it is easy to disprove. This is part of the domination process and makes sure all the power in the relationship ends up with them by the end. To turn your mind to mush as the gaslighting effect takes hold more and more over time. This makes you even easier to control. Many times while easy to disprove it requires some kind of concession of some obvious truth that the narcissist can just doggedly refuse to agree with or remember (‘the intentional forgetting’ tactic and the ‘feigned confusion or ignorance’ tactics are often employed for this). So, in fact, it is not so easy to prove when the narcissist refuses to correctly remember what happened 10 min ago or accept sound logic or reasoning. You will just turn blue in the face trying. Of course, in some cases it is indisputable. A phone log or something. My experience is when this kind of stuff happens it wasn’t their intention typically, although sometimes it was. But in these scenarios, you will typically get some sort of angry ‘invalidating’ tactic, with some good old ‘manufactured rage’ and ‘intimidation’ tactics to ‘put you on the defensive’ and get you more susceptible to further manipulation. Maybe something like: “Get over yourself already” followed up by some ‘blame-shifting’ tactics with some good old ‘guilt’ and ‘shame’ tactics, like “Why the hell are you spying on my phone records anyway? What kind of relationship is this? I don’t have any privacy? I don’t know if I can do this anymore! You have major jealousy issues! You need help!” You will walk away as the loser either way. There are resistance tactics that can be used but this is a very difficult tactic to deal with and it is one of their favorites. I won’t get into the counter-tactics here though. The only way to really win in a relationship with a narcissist is to leave them and go no contact. Moreover, Catching a cheating spouse might be difficult, and knowing what local laws say you can and cannot do might be even more difficult. To simplify the process, consider hiring a private investigator to do the sleuthing for you I genuinely appreciate how incredible you are and your work! Thank you for a job well done Metaspyhub@gmail. com,,

This is why honesty and open communication is so important. If you have doubts or are uncomfortable with something, voice them. Don't keep it in and find passive-aggressive ways to take it out. And definitely don't lead someone on with a false promise. It's just so not right.

@janewildly

8 ай бұрын

I agree. I think people have a habit of complaining first before making an effort to have an honest conversation about something that they don’t like or something that they want/need.

@neomacchio4692

8 ай бұрын

If you’re talking about a man, your asking him to be a woman. If you’re talking about a woman, you’re asking her to be a man.

@SimbaAliaye

6 ай бұрын

Honest and open communication only if you know, the other person is being honest and open. Otherwise you’re opening yourself up to manipulation. Best to hang back a bit and see what you’re working with before giving them anything to target.

@cantbendknee

2 ай бұрын

The irony.

History does repeat itself though. And honestly people don’t really change much. I sound cynical, but psychologists say “the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior” I think he’s just hoping the person changes. I can relate. I think we just put on blinders and justify a person’s actions because we want to believe sooo deeply that the person is working on themselves and changing when in reality they are simply manipulating us.

@lebronjames7041

9 ай бұрын

God gave free will , we contend with god to create reality , it’s 50/50 effort

@MIbra96

9 ай бұрын

I think people don't really change much because most people don't put in the effort to change much. I think changing is difficult and requires little steps everyday until you become the person you want to become. That might explain why you don't see it very often but the process itself is definitely possible.

@Saturnreturn123

9 ай бұрын

@@MIbra96 fully agree!

@oscarrivas7240

9 ай бұрын

1% better. That’s all it takes.

@lebronjames7041

9 ай бұрын

@@MIbra96 FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT

I can sum all this up very easily: 1. life is insanely difficult 2. You can’t read minds and it’s both good and annoying 3. Relationships affect most of your suffering and happiness 4. Life is insanely hard and you will be betrayed and sh*t is transactional 5. It’s that way for all of us, so rejoice

Been married twice. Divorced amicably both times. Sometimes you grow in different directions. Nbd. This contract business sounds like work. I aleady have a job. Im not about to take on another one just to not die alone.

I fell asleep last night watching the full version of this, and today keep seeing clips scattered throughout the day kinda helping fill me in on what i missed, so thank you for this 🙂

@IceColdProfessional

9 ай бұрын

Is any of it coming back to you? Is it solidified in your subconscious?

@jeplica7011

9 ай бұрын

@@IceColdProfessional there's a lot of stuff, idk if any was from this video,. But all kinds of stuff to my conciousness. More than usual,. You were asking me? Thanks for asking 🙂

🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation: 00:02 🤔 Overt vs. covert contracts: Overt contracts involve explicit exchanges, while covert contracts involve hidden expectations that can lead to negative outcomes. 00:30 🐶 Dogs and humans have 100% overt relationships; no manipulation or hidden contracts observed. 01:11 🤝 Covert contracts are harmful, involving hidden resentment and behaviors that undermine relationships. 02:34 💔 Covert contracts are problematic, while overt contracts are beneficial in relationships. 03:04 🔄 When people feel threatened, they engage in covert contracts to feel safe, leading to negative consequences. Made with HARPA AI

@tonijackson3421

8 ай бұрын

Wow, great promo! ❤😅

Great conversation. I really like Andrew's 'people want to change' comment, most people don't want to do the hard work, so never really change. Often it requires hitting a bottom of some description.

@alexb3617

9 ай бұрын

i think its like with most things, some small percentage is willing to change, probably like 20% - 80% thing

@djn48

7 ай бұрын

I have a friend who likes hitting a bottom, but he often gets slapped for it...

Sometimes it can take years of patience and creativity to openly talk about overt opportunities. Other times certain topics are only triggers to arguments without a resolution. Choose your battles wisely. Not every conflict can be resolved through communication, sometimes it takes experience.

Communicated and conscious reciprocity standards are ESSENTIAL to minimize resentment in relationships. It often takes a while to figure this out.

This is a massively important little snippet of information for all people in life

Traits are usually steady but behavior can change. That’s why we use the word maturity: it describes harnessing your native traits so they’re productive and not destructive

I think the thing is Andrew doesn't understand that every relationship has undefined covert contracts/expectations and in one way or another their are covert values that keep you around other people. Like not to be para-social but it seems like with Andrew and Lex they both value loyalty and they both value deep meaningful conversations and so that is the exchange of value and is the reason the relationship exists alongside the value of good faith in relationships. And or with covert contracts it opens the doors for misunderstandings too. Good example is friends with benefits or relationship with the roles poorly defined or covert expectations are put onto another person that don't align with what the other person agrees with which often times leads to contempt in relationship. Or atleast covert expectations are more less caused by a lack of communication and led by people going off of instinct but also to have the awareness of what you covertly expect from other people is challenging

@Bugdeek

9 ай бұрын

Wut

@Bigboy-dq6zq

9 ай бұрын

english pls

@Dapryor

9 ай бұрын

I don’t think they’d disagree with what you’re saying. And that was an insightful comment but it’d be easier to understand if you edited your comment before posting.

@MediocreAverage

9 ай бұрын

Yeah Id agree that is their blindspot. I have the same one, Im a psychologist AND autistic 😂. So with all these covert things, I find other people naturally know what's going on - people like me struggle because it's a language I just don't understand.

@nuwang2381

9 ай бұрын

@@Dapryor thanks for the feed back will, do honestly didn't think anyone would really scythe any insight from what I said so I just typed out my thoughts quickly xD

Congrats on a million subs!!

This conversation solved many of my questions, like why dogs are loyal and why humans can not be? is because of this extra prefrontal cortex which has the ability to create non-linear paths or possibilities or which can help humans to break the pattern and evolve. But it also makes us worry about our existence and we break the contract with each other or make bad decisions for our safety. We make bad decisions because we are worried about the uncertain event and even if we have an extra prefrontal cortex certainly it is very hard to calculate all the possible outcomes of that uncertainty and simultaneously do daily tasks. It is like eating and watching TV while playing chess. 📌so I think this extra prefrontal cortex is not the flow but a gift that helped us to evolve.📍

Tough conversation, but tactfully done.

Always interesting listening

I needed this

This describes my life! Business and personal.

Is finding honest overt relationships a crap shoot? In my experience, once the other party realizes they are in a position to take advantage of a relationship, it is hard for them not to act on it.

@eneveasi

9 ай бұрын

character and awareness is key... assessing those will get you as close to possible of fully trusting everything is overt.

@brandonmay3094

9 ай бұрын

When something has privileges it will use them

@Gtex555

9 ай бұрын

Biggest problem is what a person wants today will not be the same 5 years down the line , so relationships are fundamentally flawed in that they are life long contracts that don’t take change into account.

@brandonmay3094

9 ай бұрын

@@Gtex555 life long contracts. That people willingly break. There is no excuse. Don’t like it, don’t do it. It’s quite simple. You have an agenda that you should express with trying to normalize the deceit.

@eneveasi

8 ай бұрын

@@Gtex555 uh thats why you gotta evolve together with someone. No one is stagnant.

honesty is the best policy

I think a lot of the time the contracts that are "signed" are covert, it's just because people aren't as aware of the mind of the other person, assuming them to be on the same page rather than verifying it. It's supposed to save time and effort, as effort is usually the price to pay to get a thing to be overt.

Doesn’t sound like either of these guys are in a long term committed healthy happy relationship. Walk your talk.

@TV-oc4ml

9 ай бұрын

You can see all the past heartbreak on Huberman…. Oh well his problems

@Mike343ful

9 ай бұрын

How long have you been in your long term relationship?

@TV-oc4ml

9 ай бұрын

@@Mike343ful his long is a piece of string

So true. Some women admire others getting money for sex, companionship looks etc within a relationship. I always think nothing comes free and prefer a clear and overt relationship.

imho when it's covert there are signals you can watch for and spot (though of course not always).

Many people don’t even know they’re doing that most the time for a lot of people it’s subconscious

Do you have Lex’s permission to use his clips in order to sell your affiliate stuff?

My boy just put it down! Perfectly described me busting my ass harder than others at work, so that I can be hella late from breaks! 🤣🤣😆

@marlenegaudet5554

9 ай бұрын

Many people can relate to that. Some people have no work ethics and some so. The ones that do have the work ethic are often ostracized by those who don't. That is in regards to occupation. I am not getting into relationships deeply. Some are amazing. You can see this in people as they get older, in a great relationship, they do not age as much. If someone is in a toxic relationship, they can have more wrinkles at the age of 38 ( get divorced ) , then when 55 look better than they did at age 38. You can see non verbals of a fine relationship. Mind you , sometimes one can be tormented ( physically , financially and emotionally) and hide the bad relationship quite well. They might only confide in one person.

@Tantriknihilist108

9 ай бұрын

@@marlenegaudet5554 Funny you say that, because I just got out of a pretty toxic relationship AND I had noticed it’s the same exact circumstance. One person does as little as acceptable, and tries to blame the hard worker when they have anything to say about it. My friend and I were literally just comparing these earlier tonight laughing at how bad some of our coworkers suck lol

It's just being up front vs not.

and the romantics will openly say that they only appreciate the kind of relationship where their partner "just knows" and point to empathy as the way someone is supposed to understand that which is not said (covert contracts)

Lex’s body language is so fluid relaxed and neurotypical in his talks with Andrew it’s insane the difference in presentation. Makes me think all this eye contact insecurity and stuff is just the usual social anxiety which can be fixed and not some mythical deficit or neurodiverse trait.

interesting after this weeks magazine article

It's not a 1 or 0. I personally don't think less of people usually but rather expect no more or little of them & don't think myself cynical/pessimistic nor naive or too optimistic.

@hollowedsoul5695

9 ай бұрын

My grandmother told me how she gave or lent a friend money who used it to buy drugs too which her response was something to the effect of I will forgive but nvr forget or make the mistake again.

@honor9lite1337

9 ай бұрын

Be clear and concise at your communication.

@HextimusDuex

9 ай бұрын

Well that's exactly my problem. I expect them to treat me as well as I treat them. I've never experienced that in my entire fuckin life.

How do you make a covert relationship to an overt?

Is it just explaining why bitterness is the death of any relationship?

"I have a very old and very faithful attachment for dogs. I like them because they always forgive." -Albert Camus, The Fall

clear agreements long friendship

Take notes Lex , take notes!

But doesn’t the word covert imply the intention behind the contract is unknown and the true danger is that it’s unknown to both parties, as the distrust or manipulation is rooted in subconscious beliefs?

An overt contract does not always end well. Some of the time, one of the parties involved will not understand what it entails to meet the contract and it puts both parties in a bind.

@myflatlineconstruct

9 ай бұрын

Indeed! To lessen this happening, make sure you know the expectations clear, spell them out to your partner, get a response at the very least matches yours. Painless.

@osirisgolad

9 ай бұрын

@@myflatlineconstruct It's not just about managing expectations, it's about people overestimating their own abilities or not realising the complexity of the obligation until it's too late.

@TV-oc4ml

9 ай бұрын

😂 obligation

@LBTennis

9 ай бұрын

Isn't that just a covert contract then?

@osirisgolad

9 ай бұрын

@@LBTennis Why would it be? If you're fooling yourself, there's nothing covert about it.

does this dynamic remind you of something? in game theory there are bad agents and good agents. i am surprised Lex did not referenced anything from his previous discussions of game theory lovers

Is this not just explaining how people with narcissism act but differently?

A romantic relationship with no covert contracts would be incredibly boring. Explaining everything can be a buzzkill - but agree that we should be more overt

@peacegod7337

9 ай бұрын

People need to be upfront with what they want and stop having ulterior motives. Women are the ones guilty of this covert contract.

@Goodoverevil2

9 ай бұрын

That’s just because your boring.

@jaymkz3225

8 ай бұрын

@@peacegod7337It’s not just women. Men do it too. Many men act nice, do chores, massage a woman’s back, etc. expecting something (usually sex) in return

@peacegod7337

8 ай бұрын

@@jaymkz3225 it's not covert with men though. Men just want basic needs met such as companionship, seggxs, progeny, etc. Women on the other hand not so much.

@jaymkz3225

8 ай бұрын

It IS covert with many men though especially "nice guys" who don't have the balls to directly ask for sex or show their sexual intent. They mask their true intentions for sex with "nice" behaviors thus being a covert contact. Yes, women definitely do it more but many men are also guilty.@@peacegod7337

My question would be when people decide not to entangle themselves in covert relations is it because of some nobility or they simply lack skill to do it well ?

@Mike343ful

9 ай бұрын

In my last relationship it was a lack of knowledge and experience. It's a clear and precise filtration system for anyone that would prefer covert contracts over overt. Saves time and wellbeing

I sort of understand what a covert contract is in a relationship, but I’m still struggling to piece it together, if somebody can enlighten me lol. I definitely want to learn about this in more depth so I can be sure that this isn’t happening in any of my future relationships.

@djn48

7 ай бұрын

The problem is that you can never be sure that the other person is not engaged in a covert contract, like Andrew said. You can only ever be certain that you aren't. And unfortunately, we can never be sure of another person's motivations, only view their behaviour and infer what we infer from it. The best thing to do is to give up on the idea of certainty, take people at face value and otherwise be the best that you can be. People are shitheads, but they can also be fun if you stop trying to make everything perfect. That being said, if someone is always trying to make you feel miserable, feel free to ditch them. It's all about balance.

This is why covert passive aggressive narcissists are destructive and you don’t know you’ve been married to one for 20 years.

Seems like the definition of covert contract is undermining or secretly breaking an overt contract, ie, it's not a contract at all. It's untrustworthiness.

Covert contracts are the worst- but I actually don’t think Andrew explained it very well. Covert would be if I do X for you, I will expect Y from you. Without explicitly telling you what Y is. So, it ends up making the person on the receiving end feel manipulated.

I'm a dog person after back to back relationships with covert narcissists 🎉😂

@lulumoon6942

9 ай бұрын

👍🐺😎

@TV-oc4ml

9 ай бұрын

You allowed it to happen to you

@stevenkampmann9680

9 ай бұрын

@@TV-oc4ml FO

@TV-oc4ml

9 ай бұрын

@@stevenkampmann9680 you’re coping

@erko78

9 ай бұрын

@@TV-oc4mlhow did he allow covert narcissists to happen to him? Genuinely curious.

i’m sitting here scratching my phone trying to rub some white spots from the screen till i realized it’s hubermans microphone lmao

Dog-Human relationship is incomparable to human-human relationships. One is simple and the other is complicated.

I am only in covert relationships but if I wasn't, I wouldn't be in any relationships at all. That said, I don't like living this way and whatever is causing it, I want it to change. I am absolutely miserable living like this. If someone could at least explain why my chldren stopped talking to me, if I had some way of knowing what in the world happened that I suddenly lost my family and social group, I'd at least be able to pick. up some pieces. I hate living like this. Hate it.

@drivethrufilmzz

8 ай бұрын

Say a prayer every day. Then, reach out to those you miss and tell them you miss them and that you’re very sorry for letting them down and that you hope someday you guys can reconnect one day.

Exactly half way through this vid and can already tell there gonna be some break ups after this one lmao!😅😅

This aged well.

@fuckudag

2 ай бұрын

bruh 🤣

Fruit these guys, that was pretty good.

History does repeat its self due to perental worship. I enjoy my pet family due to the fact their love is consistantly matches my love. Marrige was designed to control society. It's not capable of flowing freely for long periods of time as it is towards pets, plants, art, etc. Marrige was designed to control, plane and simple. I have grown so much being single. This would have never occured if I stayed married. It is not possible for anyone married due to the fact love must be inverted, this is not possible if your married. One in a million may experience this. Most likely they are lying to them selves. Maybe the question should be why is love so consistent with pets, animals vs humans. Possibly because it's designed to be short lived. To procreate and that's it.

Dogs love unconditionally.

@kjs1069

9 ай бұрын

Bingo. Different to humans who from the time they open their eyes as babies are thrust into a 'Control' & 'self' paradigm which is the opposite of our truth yet the perfect opposite to illicit understanding & learning of it. It's almost as if dogs know & can see we're all connected so they love you as they love themselves. I reckon that if magically I could be transported into my dog Bindi's body I would be surprised that I still feel myself. I think we all 'feel the same self.

@lulumoon6942

9 ай бұрын

👍🐺😎

@yuriy5376

9 ай бұрын

Try not feeding your dog for 2 days 😂

Lex always looks like this 🤯 about romantic relationships, then 🤖😍

Lex, -It is positive and negative -Beings -your 🤔 Gut Knows. Thanks you spirt that Lex knows- Love ❤️ A Higher Energy.

True. but not a lot of depth and insite behind the statement

I guess Hubetman discovered the book “No more Mr nice guy”

The way I see it is, if your decisions are not based on the true created identity, the chance of abuse is unavoidable. True identity of anything provides the opportunity of the efficiency and effectiveness and the strength of a body cooperating from individual sovereignty.

@izakvandermerwe8030

9 ай бұрын

It implies that identity selections should take priority when looking for optimized super teams. Jamie Winship is to my mind the authority in this..summarized, if you find your true identity, you will be unstoppable…

@HextimusDuex

9 ай бұрын

@@izakvandermerwe8030 what the shit you on about. Does it involve crystals?

@izakvandermerwe8030

9 ай бұрын

@@HextimusDuex Maybe this will also shed some light on what I said, from Russell Brand..kzread.info35o5NQuNFFs?feature=shared

A covert contract is like doing a deal with the devil

The thumbnail is pretty interesting 🤨

Sounds like someone has been read no more mr nice guy

Andrew sounds a bit naive here. Especially his characterisation of the business “covert” relationship; that’s most business most of the time😂 sometimes you get yourself into a market where people are less competitive and less of that behaviour happens, but it’s definitely common. By saying this situation is “not good” he is implying that the majority of business relationships shouldn’t happen. Again, sounds naive

@Mike343ful

9 ай бұрын

Perspective. I think the implication is that most business relationships end up being sub-optimal. Based on failure rates we say that this is true.

As a fan of hubermans podcast. This is probably one of the least intelligible things hes said lol. Of course "overt" contracts work out cause ur describing an ideal situation with ideal outcomes assuming people dont have feelings or ulterior motives or conflicting motives lolll. So when u say overt contracts always work out. That doesnt "actually" exist or is unknowable except in hindsight. And even then, you cant really know how a person feels and feelings can also change with time or with new info or context. Was like what am i listening to hahaha

Truth vs lie

Bree 'Covert' Chavez.

Topic best covered by Rian Stone her on KZread

Well shit guys this, like so much I'm learning at fuckin' 42 really would have been helpful when I was like 30. The whole goddamn enterprise is pointless now.

@UC4AQUgrQ9EwVIGoF0w7xHXg

9 ай бұрын

Yeah it's all downhill now, whole dating scene is a cesspool

@harryseaton7444

9 ай бұрын

Lmao, glad I wasn't born 15 years sooner

@HextimusDuex

9 ай бұрын

@@harryseaton7444 15 years sooner, 15 years later... hell even 5 years on either side of when I was born would have been enough of a shift to give me a perspective one way or the other... but the bizarreness of dating really only started to become apparent during my college time into ther adult like so 2000-2020. Wasted decades on failed relationships for reasons I never understood until recently. ...problem is the only lesson I seem to have learned, regardless of new insightful inbformation or not is that should I ahve never fucking bothered in the first place trying to find a decent enough woman to raise kids with. I shoulda just.... I dunno anything but that because that shit was nevger happening

@jamieinman3044

9 ай бұрын

No, don't despair! It's never too late to change, to step in a new direction. As a licensed therapist and long married woman, I've learned that transformation is always one decision away. #take heart #havecourage #76yearoldgrandma

@HextimusDuex

9 ай бұрын

@@jamieinman3044 lady, there's nothing I can change there's no lessons I gave it my all and was broken. I provided, I loved, I was loyal, I made huge sacrifices.... I did all the things. I've been in love like 4 times. I don't think my physiology is allowing my mind to even consider it. It's more than just dangerous... The bravest thing I have ever done is faced the abyss, a future where there is no is family, and there is no love, and I can do that. I'll have my dogs and my music.

That’s why I like cats 🐈🐈‍⬛😽

He's describing women. He just doesn't want to get cancelled.

💚💚💚

Some people are awful, this sounds terrible at all levels. What about unconditional love💙Expecting nothing in return! Only wanting to give and be a help mate! I have never had a contract with my exs in my heart ever💖

@GazaFloatilla

9 ай бұрын

My ex talked about unconditional love. But that was all a game for her

@amyd3793

9 ай бұрын

Am sorry😔

Dogs are the best

Seeing how this aged should be good, lemme get my popcorn... 🍿

On my phone now I've got my spectacles. Overt vs covert contracts. Overt example- Dawgs and Humans. Covert- always bad acc to Huberman. FK damn this is like my socially beneficial mutually contracts .. oh taking covert opportunity while making explicit overt is what you think is bad don't you hmmmmmmmmmm ok

@DhruveDahiya

9 ай бұрын

ofc PFC it's ALWAYS THE PFC isn't it

@DhruveDahiya

9 ай бұрын

Dr Huberman believes---- Overt ends well Coverts end bad - how bad is uncertain Both look the same superficially on the surface indeed they do Dr Lex Fridman yeah I am overly sceptical but for good reason ok

This was an overly complicated way of describing resentment and passive aggression.

He should take his own advice

i don't really like the way Huberman frames things. covert interactions (contracts) are not about not feeling "safe".... they are just about opportunity and greed. to say it's about feeling unsafe is a total copout on behalf of humanity. most people are just inherently opportunistic and self-serving.

Skeptical now. Ex of 30 years was a psychopath living a double life. Let’s call that covert.

Always lead to bad things. Amen. Dogs are awesome. Weird how men can’t see innocent behaviour as innocent if they look at life from a gaming perspective. If you are expecting negative you’ll see negative. Jabs are first or second. Like grimes who’s messing with grimes making her believe doing what she’s doing is going to give her anything. Deal with manipulation and then you’ll better understand why overthinking this stuff is useless. Which came first.

Lex looks as confused as I feel :)

Dogs are hypocritical wolves.

@stoundingresults

9 ай бұрын

There is this cool video of a wolf pack where a tibetan mastiff is defending the older former pack leader (I'm guessing) allowing it to eat a kill and snarling off all others in the pack. The old wolf looks disabled.

Lmao

😍😍😍😍

These things sound like some Spanish telenovela crap 😂

Men = communicate overtly Women = communicate covertly Who the f**k do you think he talking about?

Would love to see Huberman’s overt contact with his wife (assuming he has one).

How can this guy advisers on relationships when he’s not getting one? Doesn’t show him having a wife or a partner. Where is he getting his experience? I don’t care about his opinion, but what is his experience?

@Rudzani

9 ай бұрын

As if you need experience to observe, use the scientific method and reason, and to form generally correct conclusions. Lol.

@53strat55

9 ай бұрын

I have not been in a long term relationship for years but I have hella experience with different types of women wanting a relationship lol.

2 single mature men teaching how us to be in a healthy relationship 😏

@trpweb

9 ай бұрын

Single because women indulge primarily in covert contacts.

nah lol

D.O.D

It's so cute seeing Lex AI explain the human experience. It's like a cat explaining what it's like to be a dog.

@HextimusDuex

9 ай бұрын

Okay what exactly do you have to offer? It will always bafflle me how people can act so superior and yet be totally unable to explain themselves

@pcproffy

9 ай бұрын

@@HextimusDuex what is love?

@GeneralRamm910

9 ай бұрын

​@@pcproffyBaby don't hurt me--Don't hurt me--No more.

@HextimusDuex

9 ай бұрын

@@pcproffy don't ask me. It may have once meant something, but as far as I can tell it seems to be more of a Machiavellian trick to extract resources from another, or at best a taking care of someone who's an invalid in some way

@brandonmay3094

9 ай бұрын

@@HextimusDuexthey act superior because it’s all they have left. Deceit. When you give any facet of this species privileges it will do anything to maintain it. Anything

This guy actually believes humans don’t manipulate dogs?

I'm very Machiavellian and unashamed about it. I'm not narcissistic, or psychopathic, or sadistic. I look out for the best interest of the people I manipulate. I've just run into the worst of human behavior, and come out on the other end of my trauma motivated to achieve my aims, and I will manipulate anybody to achieve those aims. I don't hurt my partners, but some of my exes have complained that I'm manipulative. I am, and I don't care if someone has a problem with it. Now, before I even get into a relationship, I tell potential partner that I am machiavellian. That's part of the overt contract of my relationships now. If you're going to love me, you have to love all parts of me, including the darker side of my personality. If it's a problem that you may find that I am manipulating you, then you're not for me. Conversely, it's not a problem to resist my manipulation in any particular instance. Manipulation is a game. Be willing to play the game, or find someone else. That's my overt contract.

@donatello9482

9 ай бұрын

Legit Sounds like a demon

@hardpathpoet2859

9 ай бұрын

Let me make this clear. I manipulate my partner to feel desired, to feel safe, to be socially engaged, to continue developing his knowledge and passions, and to communicate his needs and feelings well. All the healthy things in relationships. I am a good and caring boyfriend to have, I just happen to be manipulative, and in a way that I feel should be tolerated. I don't think the manipulation game is morally wrong.

Is this all in Code and these guys are just saying they prefer Open Relationships?

So around 5:10 lex finishes asking his question about going into relationships, from the perspective of someone going into a relationship. Andrew responds under this pretext, and then proceeds to state that, paraphrasing, ‘the new relationship will go well as long as you work on yourself’ or ‘history won’t repeat itself if you work on yourself and your own flaws’, which is absolutely ludicrous, naive, and honestly makes my blood boil. It feels like he’s gaslighting men who have been hurt in relationships by psychotic women, to be honest. Why? Because you could be an awesome partner with no ‘flaws’, hypothetically of course, but married to a covert narcissist psychopath who takes you to the cleaner and pulls a 180 once she finds it convenient. Or vice versa for male female, but it’s certainly rarer. Ok I’m done beer 30