As an introvert I like friends like Penn because you don’t have to do any thinking about what to say when you’re around them, they always have a conversation ready to go. When I’m around another introvert, we just look at each other awkwardly, unless they are a close friend, then you always have great discussions.

@kynn23

Жыл бұрын

I've always admired people who can fill gaps in the conversation. I need more of them around.

@meliosorio105

Жыл бұрын

Same! 💯

@marcelslofstra2157

Жыл бұрын

@@kynn23 why not admire people that can accept gaps in conversations?

@darkharlezucreek

Жыл бұрын

Me too. I cannot extrovert, but I can accompany an extrovert as an excellent side kick.

@lindenpeters2601

Жыл бұрын

​@@marcelslofstra2157 Yeah it's largely a cultural thing. Westerners, especially we Americans, are uncomfortable with silence. In other parts of the world, it's normal to have some silence and it's not awkward.

penn is like a human golden retriever!! ❤ kim- you are so me.

@holdernessfamilylaughs

Жыл бұрын

Are you doing inner child work?

@theresabingham2601

Жыл бұрын

Always...

@curlykiki8

Жыл бұрын

@@holdernessfamilylaughs all day, every day!! 😆

@merpius

Жыл бұрын

My dog literally screams at dogs in the park. Definitely same energy as Penn in this video. 🤣

@bluecobaltsteph2689

Жыл бұрын

That is the best description ever!!

“Tell me about your trauma response and what you think triggers them 😀😀😀” Why is this me when I try to make friends? 😂😂😂

@holdernessfamilylaughs

Жыл бұрын

Tell me about your inner child work

@azureflametarot

Жыл бұрын

😂😂😂😂 But seriously though! EMDR is something I seriously wanna try someday, for now Jungian archetype shadow work and somatic / myofascial therapies have been super helpful in healing the inner child. There’s also a lot of great journaling ideas for exploring childhood wounds, and getting out there with a mentality of play helps a lot with helping the inner child to feel seen / heard. A lot of people don’t realize that as rough as childhood wound acknowledgment can be, it feels so freeing once you do it, and, in a lot of ways childhood healing can be fun, especially when you let yourself engage in activities you wanted to as a child but were told no. Also, I just wanna say, your videos on not being too judgmental about the new generation’s music compared to what we had in the 90s and 80s, is really refreshing to see, and it shows that you do take inner child healing seriously. I love that 🤍

@sol.azulalado

Жыл бұрын

Me too! I don't have new friends since I decided to be my real self🤣 ...no old ones either 😃

@azureflametarot

Жыл бұрын

@@sol.azulalado You’ll find the ones meant for you, hang tight 🤍

@SharynS.

Жыл бұрын

@@azureflametarot EMDR is great and if you get a chance you should try it! I don’t know how eye movements can fix traumas but I, for one, can attest they do! (And they apparently make you use lots of exclamation marks. Sorry about that.)

My husband can spend HOURS fishing with his buddies and know NOTHING about what is going in their lives. Me: “How’s Bob’s mother?” Him: “Is something wrong with his mom?” (She is in hospice care BTW.) Me: “How’s Bill’s new job working out?” Him: “Bill has a new job?” Me: “Did Brad’s daughter get her college acceptance yet?” Him: “I thought his daughter was still in junior high!”

@seebeyondurself1st82

Жыл бұрын

😂😂😂

@RobertSmi

Жыл бұрын

Hello 👋

@lynntfuzz

Жыл бұрын

What do they talk about?

@mandiwolfe6631

Жыл бұрын

Hahaha mine had no idea his friend got divorced.....just thought the wife was always busy when they hung out. Men.....😂

@Reclaimer77

Жыл бұрын

Ugh my wife is the same way. She asks all these questions about other people like I'm supposed to know every detail about their lives. What the hell? 😂

Kim you make me feel better - glad I’m not alone in finding it hard to make new friends as an adult.

@holdernessfamilylaughs

Жыл бұрын

It's so stinking hard.

@RobertSmi

Жыл бұрын

Hello 👋

@judym7739

Жыл бұрын

It's harder for older women to make friends (especially if you move to a different part of the country). For older men...if you golf, you have no problem making friends.

@CaitlinFarar

Жыл бұрын

Same

@calicokush

3 ай бұрын

@@holdernessfamilylaughsIt certainly is. . . but it's really not that different from when you were a kid, the primary difference is one of locations and opportunities, followed by all the things we've built up to protect our vulnerabilities. Our selves have become more compartmentalized as adults and it can seem as if we have multiple personalities for every facet of our lives. . . it's can be difficult to integrate all that to approach others as a 'whole' person. But that's an area where parts therapy (internal family systems) can be helpful.. to getting to the root of your wants and identifying your inner obstacles. So, there's always social groups and activity clubs, fraternal orders, booster clubs, etc,, even a support group or volunteering if nothing else, to do something once a week/month/year (several annual, seasonal events. Working on a committee or for an event may fulfill this niche and provide opportunities to make friends as well).. that's sociable in one form or another.. Several types of meet up sites for that sort of thing, too. For most introverts, tho, hobbies and interests are a great way to expand into more social territories. . . this can easily be done via social media or may involve ventures into the real world for things like classes or social discussion about the topic of interest (such as book clubs), maybe it's just a group that does nothing but visit different restaurants or wineries in the region. . . bonded by their wuv of food. Or perhaps it's challenging oneself to join a play or approaching open mic night, poetry reading or whatever... Maybe there's some ren faire or fan geeks that want others to go with to local festivals and conventions. There's also a few fantasy LARPing groups out there as well. Regardless, one gets introverts to engage more by giving them an activity other than socializing that requires interacting with a small group of people until they're comfortable enough to socialize. Extroverts can have this problem, too, in trying to find the right kind of crowd where they can freely be themselves or not having to worry about potential social landmines. Albeit, I find introverts are helped by having an extrovert in their group and extroverts with an introvert or two. . . albeit, still a quest to find the right match.

I’m a little nervous that Penn and his new friend might have very different expectations of what that holiday is all about!

@katekramer7679

Жыл бұрын

😂😂 but also 😭

Penn is so enthusiastic, he definitely exudes Golden Retriever energy! 🐶💖

@jonjensen2524

Жыл бұрын

I think it's a guy thing; we just don't get very deep in conversation with other men. We learn about your family when our wives are with us and they talk about important things with us in the room.

Penn still makes friends with the energy and fun of a young child. He's the kid you want to meet your first day of school in a new town. Kim makes friends like a studious sincere college student, you know if she opens up to you that she trust you, she's there for you and when you b open up and together you can rock this world. You're both my favorite kind of person.

@holdernessfamilylaughs

Жыл бұрын

You have nailed it.

@brittanyjackson6432

Жыл бұрын

Aww, so sweet! 😊

Kim: Signs up for groups to make "connections" and friendships. Penn: Just talks to random passers-by, regardless of whether they have anything in common. Seems very accurate to myself and my partner! 😂🤣

@holdernessfamilylaughs

Жыл бұрын

I am so awkward 😂

@Stacymc2012

Жыл бұрын

@@holdernessfamilylaughs don’t worry, Kim, I’m a bouncing ball of awkward and social anxiety 😂 The nice thing is when you meet people just like you and they don’t run away from you when you do go too deep too fast!😂

@tgeetoo9451

Жыл бұрын

This is painfully so true. 😂

@thirstwithoutborders995

Жыл бұрын

I have a feeling Kim is INFJ and Penn ENFP... The overthinking and the endless bounce...

@cotyc6691

11 ай бұрын

My wife used to get so upset going places or just walking down the street with me. I could just randomly start talking people. She kept telling me stop that. I would tell her they want to talk. I know everyone at work. I do the building maintenance, but still i know everyone. I thought normal to introduce myself to every new person at work. We have about 150-200 employees. I can't remember everyone's name.

Penn is how I made friends at 5 years old. Walk right up to literally anyone. Now I'm more like Kim.

@Allyne42

Жыл бұрын

But wait, back then we also had to exchange info about how old we were. THEN we were friends.

@eas2252

Жыл бұрын

@Allyne42 to the nearest month. "I'm 5 and 8 months." Eventually we learned fractions. "I'm 8 and ¾ years old."

@lrrrrrrr5167

Жыл бұрын

Same, literally same. I wouldn't go deep though, I would just wait until someone talks to me when I am meeting new people.

The resemblance to real life is terrifying, this is the character plot of parents everywhere.

@holdernessfamilylaughs

Жыл бұрын

😂😂😂

@addycramer3820

Жыл бұрын

Not just parents its like that for me and my brother 😂

@RobertSmi

Жыл бұрын

Hello 👋

So relatable! Especially "...less teeth, less teeth..." and "...shut up...shut up..." 😆 My husband can talk to anyone about anything because he doesn't mind how the conversation turns out or whether people like him or not so he has no fear. I on the other hand take friendship very seriously, treat it as a life-long commitment and therefore feel the heavy weight of responsibility to say and be the right thing. My husband meets people where they are at and moves forward from there, so if there have been relationship difficulties in the past, that don't stop him from meeting the person afresh and reestablishing a new relationship with them from that new starting point. I however, carry all the scars of yesterday 😅

Haha, my husband and I were just talking about how awkward we make it when we're sincerely trying to make friends! It's like we forgot how to 😂

@jacopasawesomeness

Жыл бұрын

The struggle is real. Degree of difficulty much higher as a couple.

@RobertSmi

Жыл бұрын

Hello 👋

@alswearengen6427

Жыл бұрын

Why do you want to make friends as an adult? I'm sincerely asking. I don't understand.

Lol Kim, I totally would have responded to “tell about your trauma response from your childhood” and just started telling stories about my childhood without blinking an eye. 😆. I might just talk too much…. 🤔

@holdernessfamilylaughs

Жыл бұрын

And we’d still be there talking

Can’t get any more introverted than that Kim. Fun as always!

Penn has always reminded me of Odie from the Garfield comic strip. Always ready to party and always friendly no matter what!

@holdernessfamilylaughs

Жыл бұрын

You're so right!

Making friends…as an adult? No, that’s madness.

@hotbeerjosh9019

Жыл бұрын

haha

@holdernessfamilylaughs

Жыл бұрын

Total work of fiction

@Hotnik0813

Жыл бұрын

seriously!it's awful

@Stacymc2012

Жыл бұрын

Honestly, I’d rather stick with my built-in friendships 🤣🤣

@PlatinumMyst

Жыл бұрын

No thank you.

My son is about to turn 8 and I just met the first parent I've ever had stuff in common with at a playdate for him 2 days ago. For once, instead of watching every moment on the clock tick by like it's an hour, I had to drag myself away when I noticed I'd got a sunburn. We've got a second playdate planned for this weekend and I don't think I've ever approached a romantic date with as much excited turmoil as I've got brewing over this! If I can keep my excited fangirl craziness on the downlow just this once, that's all I'm trying to do.

@fourlittlebirds6166

Жыл бұрын

Don’t feel worried. I’ll bet they’re thinking the same things you are. And just as nervous. Most people go through the same types of turmoil. It’s just that some hide it better than others. 😊

@burnyizland

Жыл бұрын

@@fourlittlebirds6166 Thank you! That's very sweet and you're probably exactly right.

@athlene110

Жыл бұрын

I love this!! I get excited turmoil and fan girl over new friends as well and thought it was just me!! Thanks so much for sharing!!

I am definitely in Kim's camp. It was hysterical when she was asking people about their childhood traumas and then frantically trying to find her notecards!! 😂Love it!!😂🙌

Be a good listener and you'll get friends fast. The ones that listen back...those are kindred spirits. ❤

@holdernessfamilylaughs

Жыл бұрын

YES!!!!

As freaked out as the rest of it would have made me, the minute the cards came out I would have caught on to the reasoning, and we'd be close immediately. One of my daughters is JUST like Penn, tho- since she was 6 and would get lost once out the door on vacation, but back in a few minutes with 1-3 new best friends

I recently moved away from my 1 best friend and the struggle is real. Good luck to everyone trying to make new friends.

@RobertSmi

Жыл бұрын

Hello 👋

I totally understand Kim and feel her pain and her contentment at being alone.

I am so like Penn. My BF called me and told me hey had heart surgery. My Wife asked me a 1000 questions about it, that I didn't know. She had to call his wife to learn more.

Kim makes me feel seen, love this sketch!

I love this! I feel like I can simultaneously meet people easily but I'm also super awkward. Ending conversations is hard.

"Hey, wanna come look at the shed in my backyard?" 🤣🤣🤣 No serial killer would ever say that. Nah.

Love it that you 2 can talk about virtually anything with no reservations and not feel like your trampling on somebody's eggshell personality How awesome and unconditionally loving is that. 🌹❤️🌹

I love your videos! I'm probably one of the few women who doesn't get over dramatic about making friends. I'm an introvert, so I prefer getting to know people over time. I do find that it's easier to make friends with guys as they don't tend to over analyze everything. I've got a songwriting friend where the first time I met him when my mom and I went to my first open mic night we got to talking about music, he mentioned his grandfather used to work at Transit and I was like, my dad worked at Transit. We also had gone to the same high school. I'm happy to say he is one of my best friends to this day and that was in 2016.

@RobertSmi

Жыл бұрын

Hello

This brought so many memories of when I was a kid and we would go on our two-week vacation. We would take 3-4 days to travel to our destination spot, camping along the way. Then spend a few days camping at the destination; and take 3-4 days along a different route home. We were able to visit a lot of places in the USA and experience really neat things along the way. I (like Kim) was (and still am) an introvert, but my brother was the outgoing one. He made friends at every campground and stop along the way, and when asked who they were, he could never come up with their names, even when we encountered them at several campsites along the way. It amazed me. (Of course, being the older sister, I always thought he was a bit weird.)

This is also definitely introvert vs extrovert:) i totally get the Kim approach 😂I also love having extroverts like Penn around, but after 20mins I’ll get exhausted from the energy and have to go chill out 😅

OMG. I FEEL this. I LIVE this. My husband talks to complete strangers everywhere we go.

Usually I’m Kim but there are very rare times I am Penn!!😂😂

I'd be your friend in an instant Kim! I love your energy and authenticity! 💕☮️

@RobertSmi

Жыл бұрын

Hello 👋

Your trauma response 😂😂😂 then the quiet shut up Kim. Oh so relatable.

Hahaha Penn and my Dad would be instant best buds. 😂 Dad does the same thing. He can walk into a closet and come out with a new friend. Its crazy lol.

@holdernessfamilylaughs

Жыл бұрын

I always joke that "Penn can walk into an empty room and come out with a friend"

Yep, Kim, I can so relate to making friends just like you. Exactly the same. 😂

@holdernessfamilylaughs

Жыл бұрын

Let’s be friends

@RobertSmi

Жыл бұрын

Hello 👋

These two are adorable and this is completely true. Men are like little kids with making friends. "Wanna be friends?" "Yeah!" I know I overanalyze and worry and get all insecure and totally practice what I'm going to say.

Kim you are so me! I used to be Penn but now I have PTSD. You give me so much inspiration! ❤❤❤

I'll hang out with my guy friends, spend 3 hours playing golf, come home and my wife is like what's new with him? ... I have no answers.

My husband is like Penn, He has lots of friends but not so involved in the details of those relationships. The downside of it is that he sometimes doesn't notice those flashing red lights that can come along side befriending someone so easily.

Same with me and the wife. Us men don’t need those details right away. You’ll have time to learn their name in 4-5 years after several vacations to Bahamas 😅

We have a hard time making friends as adults. Good thing our kids have friends that we can glom onto. "Sorry, but you have to be friends with Peter, his dad is the only grown up I talk to outside of work."

Omg..I'm freaking crying...you guys are so wholesome but so darned funny and cute...you made my day😂😂😂

You are both so funny! Love this video!

“Small talk is a waste of time” I’ve never felt so seen! 😭

Thanks, I’m relocating and this really helps on knowing how to work on myself.

"You don't need to know everything about your friends!" Like, okay agreed but at least some things?! Like the dude ADOPTED A KID... I'm not asking you to name his favorite ice cream flavor! 😂

I recently joined a Mom's club and it's amazing because we're all there for the same reason. It's like desperate housewives, only the desperation is just for friends.

@BlessedGJ

Жыл бұрын

😂

This is SOO accurate for me!! I'm Kim in this situation!! TOTALLY Kim!! 🤣🤣

I love the gentle reflective music playing in the background during Kim's scenes 😅

Thank you for this video. Can totally relate. It’s nice to know my husband and I are not that unusual

Is your neighbor flying a Wisconsin flag? If so...this Wisconsinite loves that!! Kim, you and I could talk for hours.😂💗

Kim, I get it. Small talk--specifically talking about what you are doing that specific moment--is soooooo tedious!! Blah. Best way to have a conversation: ask them where they're from. People love to talk about themselves, me included. They'll give you like a dissertation on their life and all you have to do is some simple questions! Easily branches out into family, if they have kids, and my favorite icebreaker topic: family history and heritage! Another fun question is to ask if their last name has a meaning. It can be a good doorway into deeper conversations, and shows that you care about them as a person.

Yes, Penn made best friends in the Target parking lot!!!!!

Friends vs acquaintances, it is a hour long debate with my husband!

@holdernessfamilylaughs

Жыл бұрын

It's a good debate!

Oh, man - that is so my husband & me!! Luckily, we are both happy with who we are, and with who the other is.

"You like sports? We really are best friends!" lmao

Hugs to you! ❤Love you two!

Kim-you are my spirit animal! I’m watching this, having literally signed up for pickle ball so I can meet friends!! 😂 I love to go deep-it’s not for everyone 🤷‍♀️

With this one I'm definitely on the Kim side of things. 😂 Luckily, a few years ago an extrovert adopted me and I got SO many connections through her lmao I don't mind talking childhood trauma though, so if you need that, I'm your girl! 😄

This is so true. My wife says I can make friends anywhere! I laughed so hard.

@holdernessfamilylaughs

Жыл бұрын

How many vacations have been planned?

@SantosChronicles

Жыл бұрын

@@holdernessfamilylaughs A good number we ended up in Vegas. Sometimes my friends were like who is this guys, and I’m like I met him at trivia! When we travel on road trips we stop at states to meet other creators. And my oldest is like why do all these 20 year old creators hand out with us. I told her she doesn’t realize how cool her dad was. If you guys have room on hour next vacation, let us know 😀

I feel like I am a combination of the two of you! I can make friends anytime, anywhere, pretty much. And I legitimately feel a connection with people, even if I only see them that once. If I ran into them again, I would still feel a connection. At the same time, we might share our whole life stories before even knowing each other’s names. Lol

Too funny. Acually Im like your husband vs. you. I think your title should be introvert vs. extrovert. Your husband seems very extroverted like me. You seem very introverted, hence your meaningful conversations and hate small talk. Love this ❤! Cast a net! Yup, I can make a bestie anywhere!

"Hi. My name's Kimmy Ruxbin. Can you and I be friends?" lol

The only time I initiate conversation with peers who are strangers is when I'm walking to the start line of a track race and trying to distract myself from the 16 laps (indoors) I have ahead of me.

Oh my gosh Kim, I'm SO relieved I'm not the only one who does this! 😂

@holdernessfamilylaughs

Жыл бұрын

every. single. time.

Kim is the one planning everything from every word spoken and Penn is the improviser, lol. I am a mix of both, tbh.

Y'all are AWESOME!!!

I do agree about small talk being a waste of time! 😆

I just want to say how much I love you guys! You are both absolutely hilarious, the first video I saw was the one about discovering pickleball, and I'm a huge pickleball addict! And everything else I've watched of yours is just hysterical! Now that's the first thing I do when I drink my tea in the morning is watch some of your videos! It starts my day with a huge laugh, thank you so much!❤😆🏓

Kim is so ME! The struggle is real.

My best friend had a kid I forgot about for about a year, wife asked me about him a few weeks ago. Her “Didn’t Jakes son just turn 1, or is it 2?” Me: “Jakes kids are in like 4th grade.” Her: “No, the other one… and so and so is in 7th grade now.” Me: “No, he has two kids.” Her: “In 7th and 6th grade. The other one?” Me: “Hmmm. Don’t know? It didn’t come up.” Her: “I’ll call Teresa. It? How are you friends?”

These guys are absolutely hilarious 😂😂😂😂

I'm so Kim. I can totally relate. I'm always sticking my foot in my mouth.

I'm a lot like Kim, fewer friends but I maintain them. And I'm a guy. But I'm also an introvert, so I appreciate friends who know my boundaries and I make sure I know theirs.

I’m Penn about making friends, but I’m Kim when getting to know someone. I literally left the hospital and most of my nurses added me of FB!😂

Soooooo true for us!!

Penn as Golden Retriever energy for sure. I legit see him befriending random people and not realizing that that friendship is actually a date / romantic outing. Also, as a guy, it's quite normal for us to know minimal things about our friends. Sometimes, names take a while to happen and we're pretty content keeping the details minimal.

Penn is every man possible! He would be a great friend

I am so you Kim!!!!!! ❤️‍🩹 🫂 😂 🥺🫣🤗❤❤❤❤❤ I am working on not trying to go so deep with everyone with my therapist.. it’s so hard trying to not vet people to see where they are on the safety spectrum. I am sending you virtual hugs!!! You guys are amazing 🥲 😊😂🎉❤

Lolol!!! Relateable😅0:35 made me laugh out loud😂

Yes!!! So true!!!😊

Hahaha! But seriously, I think there is a signficant difference between friends and acquaintances. It isn't necessary to know much about acquiantances and the meetings tend to be very casual.

As my husband and I watched this, he chuckles at me and I’m like “shut up!” 🤣 it’s so accurate it hurts! The trauma and healing the inner child and and and how it- these are all questions I ask too! 😅

Hi, I'm like Penn just ask my husband and my best friend they say I make new friends everywhere we go 🤣🤣🤣

My hubby is same - makes friends everywhere. I'm the observer, stand off & watch people

I agree Kim. I hate small talk! I'd much rather have a deep philosophical discussions than chat about the weather!

I love you guys your so wholesome and sweet 😢💖🥺👉👈

I always find it funny that Kim is an introvert, given her former life as a correspondent for "Inside Ediytion - New York". That said, her prep work makes sense as that was needed for her many interviews.

That was so funny and relatable thanks! I'm definitely a Kim. Wait I can be fun and caz!

Small talk sucks! I would happily discuss our inner children with you, Kim 😊

This is totally me and my husband. He can go anywhere and talk to anyone. I on the other hand, do not even understand small talk!

😂 This is so relatable!! I'm totally more like Penn though! Although probably more like a hybrid. I've been told I have resting best friend face where people feel like telling me their whole life story. And I don't always know their names😅

Sounds like an introverted/extroverted thing. My introverted mom had two best friends who didn’t really know each other. So do I! My introverted son and ex-husband as well. My extroverted dad was friends with everybody in town and knew very little about anyone, but everyone had fun! 😂

So… that’s pretty close to what my husband did… that’s how we scored tickets to Lake Tahoe with a friend and a couple we never met 🤣

“I promise I’m fun!” That’s the tagline of every “serious” person out there….it’s me, I’m that person. I am fun, probably 10%, and serious 90%, but the fun is there! Coincidentally, it rolls around about as often as my desire to be “social”…. And on a last note….WHERE DO I SIGN UP FOR THE PSYCHOLOGY SOCIAL CLUB?!?!? Because outside of therapy, there should be one for those of us exploring those uncharted waters. THAT’s my kinda fun! We could all ask awkward questions and go too deep too fast together and be totally fine about it!

So True. Us guys are very casual with each other. I have had friends for over 20 years and I really do not know anything really personal that they have not brought up. As guys, we never really ask. I am sure many would tell their issues, but not many men would have patience to hear problems. I know as a fact that none of my friends would want to hear about my problems. Great Skit. I also think there is a different in social interaction not just between women and men, but between Introverts and Extroverts. I can see PENN being friends with so many people. I can see that. I can also see Kim having a few. So, Introverted and Extroverted Personalities does play a role in getting friends also. :)

Wow!! This was hilariously accurate!!!

Accurate!