This was really informative! Thank you for your patience and openness in answering so many questions!

I absolutely LOVE you. Thank you for the work you do, thank you for helping people see that change is possible, thank you for HELPING people. You are a gem of a gem. I wish there were more like you!

@healnpd

28 күн бұрын

Wow, thank you 😊

@jezza4604

12 күн бұрын

@@healnpd is there anyone out there doing similar work to you Dr?

Thanks!🙏 I’ve been sharing your KZread videos with people! They are so incredibly helpful!!! It’s so refreshing to not hear somebody saying false and condescending information!!! It’s great to have a source I can finally trust! I’m telling my clients to stop listening to Dr. Ramani! She was not saying accurate info but she must be quite convincing!😬 Thanks for all you do!!!🎉

@healnpd

25 күн бұрын

Thanks for sharing!!

Dr. Ettensohn you are so awesome!! I love how you were so nervous in the beginning lol. Your work is amazing and I follow it closely. I am a medical practitioner invested in NPD. Everyone deserves healing and I want the stigma around NPD to die down so that more people will seek help. Thanks for your content!

@healnpd

3 ай бұрын

Thanks!

Hi Dr Ettensohn, I wanted to thank you for the clarity with which you explained splitting and how people with npd/bpd, shift between selves, with no awareness that this has happened. You also explain well the reason why trying to talk with ones NPD partner about relational problems is so problematic, or impossible. Once the NPD has switched to a totally different self state, the disconnect is total, its not even denial, it is a total lack of awareness. Hence no acknowledgment, no insight,, no empathy. The intimate parter feels this shift in the selfhood of the NPD, but without this essential information about splitting, she experiences the loss as one of her own self, her self identity and has way of making sense of the total negation of herself in the mind of the NPD. This is so powerful, as this undermines the very core of her identity, it takes a strong sense of self to withstand the absence of herself in the mind of her NPD partner. Such a complex phenomena to grasp, but I do feel I have a much better understanding. Bye the way, how do I find out when your next live stream is?

@healnpd

2 ай бұрын

Thanks for your feedback. I haven’t scheduled my next live stream. I’m trying to figure out the best frequency to have them. I will post announcements on the community tab of this channel when I schedule the next one. 🙂

Hi Mark! This is Lisa Charlebois! Yes! Same person!!! My health crashed big time right after I talked to you and so sorry for disappearing!!! I have continued to help narcissists with the same things that healed my own narcissism for the past 30 years. I’m so grateful to have found you again because you’re the only person who I have found online that is not making blatant, inaccurate statements. I’m very concerned with how many hopeless, suicidal narcissists that there are because of all the crap online about this not being a treatable condition when I have never had a narcissist who wanted help not get better. Thanks for ALL THAT YOU ARE DOING!!!🙏🙏🙏

@healnpd

Ай бұрын

@healingyournarcissism - Sorry to hear about your health! Thanks for reaching out and watching the livestream. :)

Thank you for the excellent QA session. Your professionalism and realistic broad-minded approach are refreshing and inspirational. Please keep up your excellent work.

@healnpd

2 ай бұрын

Much appreciated!

Thank you for humanizing NPD!

I appreciate greatly that you work with narcissistic style personalities with a spirit of compassion and empathy instead of resentment or judgementalism (believing it's not even worth trying to help them, as some drs do). Those therapists should be honest that their personal injury limits their ability to help their client. There's such a pervasive online attitude that narcissistically-challenged people are all hopeless, evil people who deserve nothing but severe punishment, thanks to the opinions of said psychotherapists being presented as facts. (Why do some people assume their opinions are established facts? What's up with that?) ...Anyway, it seems to me that therapists with this sort of mindset shouldn't even take someone with high narcissistic traits as a client in all good conscience. When treating their clients they will most likely emit a subtle resentment, not treat their core wounds and become irritated with them which only wastes everyones' time and further injures the client. So good on you!

@marameow9256

3 ай бұрын

They shouldn't take anyone as patients as it's highly unprofessional to informally diagnose someone else's ex bf or gf as "a narcissist" without even knowing the person. Psychologists should offer support to victims of abuse calling it with its own name, abuse.

cant wait for the next live! hopefully i can tune in next time

would love for you to do a vid about the differences between HPD and NPD

Great first live Mark, thank you! ❤❤❤ 🇬🇧 Brilliant!!!

1:05:09 Amazing explanation of splitting 🌴 Thank you!

I thought I was losing my mind from this collapse, turns out googling three letters helped me understand and further my inventory taking. I feel so weak, it's so foreign to me but there's a sense of liberation knowing I now know my exactly what's happening and the mechanics of it. I just want to be a good person man..

Thank you so much for sharing your fears regarding creating this video!. I have wanted to create videos explaining some things that I have learned that I think might help people and I have been too afraid to do that. Hearing you express your fears and overcoming them and doing the video anyways made me feel like I could do the same thing as well. I really appreciate that! I knew that you had a live video but I was too scared to listen to it live. I was afraid for some reason that listening to it live would make me want to respond and that my responses would be rejected or ignored. And that's why I waited until after the video wasn't live before I interacted with it. And I am assuming a lot of other people may have felt the same way. Because I know that your videos are some of the most helpful videos on KZread that have ever been created. I think Heidi priebe and you are the two content creators that have consistently created content that is actually helpful and kind and consistent. And it's that way because both of you are sharing knowledge and not sharing your opinions and beliefs. That is very rare. it's rare to find people that are fully knowledgeable who are able to stick to what they know without interjecting any false beliefs or opinions that are based on confirmation bias rather than based on facts. I don't believe that people that create content do this consciously with an intent to deceive us. I think they intend to be helpful however it isn't helpful to share content that is factual when it's interspersed with false beliefs and opinions I believe that this may be why therapy is not very helpful for many of us. It is very difficult to find anybody who can objectively listen without judgment and biases. And because of that they cannot mirror back to us the acceptance of us as human beings in a way that we need. That's been my experience and that's why I had to cure myself and it was in getting healthy that I noticed that my old behaviour was very consistent with vulnerable narcissism.. There were a few really helpful people that I could not have overcome my problems had I not come across them and that was you and Heidi priebe and then a channel called on track where they discussed the infj personality type The on-track channel on KZread may not be completely factual however it has almost daily videos praising strengths of people with the infj personality disorder however I believe that anybody who listens to it can benefit from listening because I think we all can relate to being the person that they are describing on this channel even though they claim it's just for the infj personality type. So that channel helped boost my confidence and my self-esteem and helped me see the really great qualities about myself. Listening to it on a daily basis helped me start to view myself in a positive light. And helped me override my unconscious programming that was created in my formative years known as my unconscious memory that is responsible for my background functions. It was in my unconscious mind that I held a very damaging and negative self view that was distorting my self image. Only I was completely unaware of that because it was my unconscious mind. So when people suggested that I had low self-esteem or that I didn't like myself I thought they were insane because I felt like I was one of the coolest people I knew. However my actions did not reflect that because I had a constant need to be loved and when I wasn't directly being loved and accepted by people I would deflate and go right back to feeling a lot of intense pain and rejection. Until I learned to be mindful and was able to realize that I had a non stop negative narrative running in my mind that everyone was making fun of me and laughing at me and secretly hated me I felt like I was rejected by society. Upon this realization that it was myself imagining what other people were thinking about me I was able to realize that it was me who was MAKING MYSELF feel rejected and that in actuality everyone I meet seems to like me well enough. I was so astounded by this realization and I immediately would catch myself anytime I started to notice I was telling myself things that other people believed. Within a week of this I was having lunch at the homeless shelter that I did most of my recovery at and I was having lunch and laughing and having so much fun and I was like wait a minute!!! I am sober and I'm having fun!!! I didn't remember the last time I was sober and having fun cuz it had been so many years..... And it only took me about a week of monitoring my self-talk to overcome a lifetime of feeling I was being rejected by everyone. I have developed an intricate knowledge of what dysfunction is by overcoming my own dysfunction and I have the. Understanding what I believe are the blindspots that prevent therapists from helping their patients overcome themselves. I'd be happy to work with you or anyone in the mental health community and share what I've learned because the false beliefs I have had are the reasons I was so mentally ill. Which leads me to wonder how much mental illness is actually just a lack of knowledge of how to fix things as a human being rather than an actual male function of the mind.

🙏🏻 Thank you so much for sharing your views on this hotly debated topic. I share the belief that severe narcissistic traits often develop in response to life experiences. Recognizing the multitude of factors that shape our character and personality, I cannot support the dehumanization of individuals with this condition. I regret missing your live stream and look forward to engaging with your work more directly. There’s someone dear to me who exhibits extreme vulnerable narcissistic traits, and finding a balance between being there for them and maintaining my own mental wellbeing has been challenging. Your insights have given me hope, both for the relationship in question and for the individual involved.

The most valuable source of information relating to narcissism Thanks very much

Thank you, really appreciate your channel and look forward to regular lives, very informative

You're doing a Great Job! Keep Going... ❤ from Canada 🇨🇦!

Great video, I needed this today and so was delighted to see two new videos on your channel. Just watched this one and it brought me so much comfort and reassurance, thank you. Is there perhaps a mailing list to get on to get a heads up about the next livestream? I have so many questions too. May I suggest an idea of putting out a call for questions before the next livetsream? That way if there's loads, it might be an easy way to see the best ones and the ones that are asked the most frequently. (Please disregard if that's not a helpful suggestion, just a thought.) Thanks again. Looking forward to watching the other one now. 🙂

So many great questions and answers ! Your channel is so refreshing and heartwarming in the whole narcisphere landscape. Thank you very much !

@healnpd

2 ай бұрын

Glad you enjoyed it!

@charlesnormandin1509

2 ай бұрын

@@healnpd enjoyed it very much indeed ! Found your channel after reading about it on the "narcissism" subreddit. Been hearing and reading so much rash or ill-informed opinions about "narcs" and narcissism as a general concept and decided to take a deep dive in the topic in the last few weeks. Your take on the issue seems like the most rigorous and well-intended initiative on KZread. Thank you for this gift to humanity. From what I gathered from the "narcisphere" your input has been needed for a long time. I hope you keep doing your good work and find the strength to push through the mass of toxicity that will inevitably come finding you.

@healnpd

Ай бұрын

@charlesnormandin1509 - Thanks for your feedback and encouragement. I'm glad to know my content is valued. 🙂

Your explanation of “splitting” clarifies a lot about how the narcissist can be sweet and loving toward one person and simultaneously throw another under the bus. This is how narcissistic parents behave toward their children. The fact that the parent consistently scapegoats one child while putting the other on a pedestal indicates a calculated choice when the children had no choice.

Thank you, so helpful! Will you do livestreams again?

My internet is being flaky so I 've not been able to comment, but while I can, Doc! You're awesome, loved, respected! And importantly, for the prevalence of pw/pds in the chat...people are being very KIND and hav e wonderful questions.

Thank you

you're the bestttttt

I wish I could have known about this live stream when it first started, since I wanted to ask about the prevalence of narcissism among the disabled, and whether or not the pressure to conform to the "supercrip" stereotype encourages it.

@pebblebrookbooks4852

3 ай бұрын

I thought just the Online personalities try to be Daredevil or Prof X 😜

One important thing I've learned is that in order to grow you have to be around people who have grown otherwise you just revert back to your old defences.

I just discovered your channel 2 days ago and watched the one where you shared how you disagree with Dr. Ramani's views on Empathy and wanted to watch again but can not find it in my history or here. I don't recall the exact title ? I browsed through but could not find it. Thanks much ... I thought it was an excellent perspective that opened my eyes to what I'm dealing with ! Thanks much !

@healnpd

2 ай бұрын

It’s called Why Narcissists Lack Empathy. 👍🏻

@JJackAL52

2 ай бұрын

@@healnpd Yes got it ... thanks so much ! Really great insights that nailed what I'm dealing with !

I missed this but I wanted to share how I recovered from my self diagnosed vulnerable narcissism that eventually caused me to become homeless and lose my relationship with my children. NARCISISSM I was like a balloon with a leak and love was like air. I could never get enough to stay full. This is what narcissistic supply looks like. But I was not finding victims to suck dry. And then discarding them. I was trying to survive without the knowledge of me being responsible for fulfilling my own emotional needs and I honestly believed that if I could find someone who loved me enough I would be happy. And I was right. I just didn't know that person was actually me that I was looking for. My false belief was that we feel loved when we are loved by others. And if we feel unloved that means others don't love us.

@facesxy

3 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing! How did you learn to love yourself? Any literature you can recommend? Did you go to therapy?

@jodisherland5335

3 ай бұрын

@@facesxy I tried therapy several times however none of my therapists treated me for unresolved trauma and none of them explained that the unconscious mind which is is programmed of memories from the formative years will have false beliefs that are created through confirmation bias but it's done unconsciously so you don't really realize that you've developed a pattern of a negative self view I think that's what the distorted self-image is. These videos are really helpful on this channel and Heidi priebe are the only channels that I really found to be helpful. Although I did enjoy listening to on trac about the infj personality type but I think is good for anybody to listen to it because it just highlights your strengths. My personality type is very similar to infj if I'm not an infj so that is very good for my self-esteem. I learned how to love myself on accident. Active I was actually practicing active listening and working on my communication on Facebook commenting on post and getting into conversations with people. I was really enjoying how it felt to really connect to people when I really focused on what they were saying and gave them my attention. Since its online there are a lot of angry people that feel safe speaking abusively or disrespectfully. So when this happenedthe first time I was kind of glowing from really enjoying talking with people and all the sudden somebody just like said something so f****** mean and that just took me right back to being that abused person again. And I couldn't think of a response that I could say without feeling like they had one already. And it felt like if I didn't say something that they did win. So I did what is becoming a very good habit now I went to check GPT showed it the comment and asked it to generate a proper response. Now I do that habitually when I have somebody say something that I am unable to formulate a response to but I'm finding more and more I can handle it without having to have chat GPT do it but regardless before I started responding myself as soon as I shut the conversation down effectively even though I didn't even write the responses I felt better. Buy like the third time I did this I felt such a sensation of Love sweeps through me and I could tell I was showing myself that I was loved and that I was protected I had no idea that by treating myself well would make me feel loved. I had believed all my life that to feel loved we must be loved by somebody and that had me trapped in a relationship addiction because you know the euphoria of a new relationship is so intoxicating it would take away all my pain so if the person and I broke up I would think that I wasn't supposed to lose them because I would feel the pain againnot even knowing that the relationship was just a Band-Aid to cover up the pain that was in me. The pain I was feeling was not the loss of anybody else but the loss of my connection with myself from traumatic event in my early childhood. Once I learned what emotions are and what they mean and that they have nothing to do with anybody else I began to really be able to experience life pain-free. I also had to get the running narrative out of my head that was a negative self-talk but that was really easy. I still am having issues with insecurities and self-doubt and I'm I'm still working on that but I am no longer in pain I'm no longer vulnerable to being misused by manipulators and abusive people. And also the other thing is the physiological cognition that had been halted in my development has resumed and I have been able to see a noticeable increase on my abilities I can tell when I'm playing games I used to never be able to get above level 20 on Candy crush now I can easily get to like 200 in a couple days.I was able to watch my cognitive improvement because I would listen to self-help videos while I was playing games on my phone to keep me you know kind of so it wasn't so boring just listening to the videos and I was shocked when I started seeing drastic improvement and I had not had any improvement in that area for like a good 15 years that I didn't know I had cognitive impairment however once I started healing I realized that I had had it. I just thought I was bad at video games but I actually had impairment. And now I can see something like the whole perspective of something like like I can see dysfunction in a way that I can't really explain but I just have like a thorough understanding of dysfunction and where people's blocks are and in my opinion mental illness is nothing more than ignorance on how we function. Once you learn how you function as a human being you can barely feel emotionally unwell. So you definitely can get better without therapy if you can find a good therapist that's awesome but I just had no luck with that so but it's good to know that it's not necessary to have therapy to heal

They say all over KZread that the person with NPD will discard, leave, and stonewall and leave you with no resolution at all..... ....I have been on this channel for a year now, I've been left, discarded, blocked, no resolution at all.... still wondering if I was the problem. At this point, I feel as dead inside anyway, and I can relate to the inner child stuff. How can the person with NPD know or learn anything when the supoosed "cure" to "narcissistic abuse" is to "go no contact" which is the exact same thing as "discarding, leaving, and resolving nothing"? P.S. I am currently single, I do not jump from one relationship to the next, I do not cheat, I have been cheated on, and I have been left for other relationships. What is NPD? The natural order of things? Or the results of so-called NPD abuse? It's all done killed me inside and left me with nothing but confusion the last 5 years. Please help.

Don t we all have a valse self ? What is the self ? I m a big fan off Eckhart Tolle . My question is could his teachings help narcisissists ? I t helped me a lot to get over depressions and anxiety and tot get over narcistic abuse

Oh wow, the recording is complete, but the live stream skipped the first 30s or so for me. Well!

@healnpd

3 ай бұрын

Thanks for your questions!

Maybe basic, but a lot of people are cripplingly afraid of rejection, a lot of people are avoidant, etc. What is the distinction for people who respond to this by lashing out and abusing others, usually those closest to them? That's what I can never really fathom. I've been highly dissociated and lost the ability to empathize before but I would just withdraw, might say a few sharp words but definitely could not chronically abuse someone and just totally attack them constantly, the way I've witnessed a lot of NPD and BPD folks do. What makes them do that when there are so many other available responses?

Se is somatic experiencing! ^^

Hello Dr. Ettensohn, is there a correlation between the age of a person who has npd and their rate/effectiveness of recovery? I’m asking this with the assumption that a person were to become somewhat self aware and seeks help. Thanks!

I got the notification 2 hours after the live

@sm8155

3 ай бұрын

Tamara Hill is a mental health professional who does a lot of these and the way she does the scheduling and notifications makes it so the delayed live notifications don't affect people as much and more people catch her while she's live. If you decide to do more of these, you may consider looking at how she does the settings to give lead up notifications fewer people get affected by these notification glitches that are all too common on all platforms

@healnpd

3 ай бұрын

Thanks for the heads up!

@Lumbergh42

3 ай бұрын

For what it's worth, I got the notification that the live stream started right when the app started showing the live video feed. I'm on Android.

@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE

3 ай бұрын

I was notified twice. 30 before the live and right when it started. Maybe you don't have the notification BELL on? He also made two posts about his upcoming live. 🤷🏼‍♀

I noticed that I have narcissistic behavior (equating my value to performance) lile many other people around me… this is sad. Thanks for the information, it already helped, it does not have to be like this. But as far as I understand some people (like malignant narcissists) have antisocial personality and lack empathy (plus sadistic acts)… Is it possible to heal the lack of empathy? I thought it is physiological (lacks in brain)… And it sounds dangerous to me. Are there people recovering from lack of empathy? Thank you, I find this channel very helpful. Next to thousands of psychotherapists madly provoking fear and offering x ways to heal anything… (maybe suffering from npd themselves?)

34:05 Very interesting TY

Hi I am a Nurse practitioner and was wondering if you have any thoughts on treating NPD with ketamine?

Do passive aggressive narcissists often show a false face to people in general but need at least one scapegoat on whom to act out their hidden rage, confusion and self-loathing?

Hi Dr. Ettensohn, I'd love to be added to your waiting list for individual therapy or group therapy, do I just send an email through your website? I've sent an email previously but I haven't received a delivery notice so I don't know if it went through. Thank you so much!

@healnpd

3 ай бұрын

There’s a link on the contact page. www.healnpd.org/contact

@marameow9256

3 ай бұрын

@@healnpd thanks

Hi Mark..Robin here from a green and very wet Ireland having discovered the whole nightmare of Narcississm only in the last 18 months.Thanks for your expertise.

Dear doctor, I have a question, and I think can be stupid, but I don't know if can have a connection with this disorder (NPD). What do you think about parasites infection (pinworms, threadworms,etc.) and even hidden allergies in the behaviour of people?

Is it possible to re-parent oneself through meditation exercises and self hypnosis? Having a seriously impaired ability to trust means it could take a long time to find someone to feel safe enough to open up to.

May I ask you some questions? You made a vid about treating NPD in which you said there are challenges for the therapist like transference. Questions: Is it harmful to engage with a therapist that is not specialized in personality disorders? And is Cognitive Behavior Therapy an option for treating NPD?

@healnpd

3 ай бұрын

Yes, under certain circumstances it can be harmful to see a therapist who isn’t trained to treat personality disorders. Things because the process can become intense and someone not trained to recognize what is happening may simply react in an unhelpful manner or even retaliate. Regarding CBT for personality disorders, DBT and ACT are both CBT-derived therapies and could be used for personality disorders. A third option might be metacognitive interpersonal therapy.

@siddhartacrowley8759

3 ай бұрын

@@healnpd Thank you very much for answering. I'm from germany, and here we have mostly CBT and Psychodynamic Psychotherapy.

@j.3069

3 ай бұрын

​​​​@@healnpdthank you. And for parents as couples therapy? My baby's father thinks he's suffering from npd and vanished before her birth, now wants to talk as he's not coping well and I asked for "couple's" therapy with a professional psychotherapist. But what kind should we be looking for? He himself is a medial doctor training to become a psychiatrist and psychotherapist, in therapy for his job and was in therapy since a couple years ago. But never to my knowledge with somebody experienced with npd. I don't want couples therapy cause more damage than do good. Would an I believe systemic therapy with John Gottmann method be able to make sense as it focuses on I statements and describing experiences not the other person? Or what else could work with his possible npd? We tried once before during pregnancy and it went very bad as the therapist sided only with him (he was suicidal and he claimed that was normal and not pathological, dismissing how that feels for the pregnant partner...) I got preterm labour contractions several times and had to ask the father to leave till birth... a year later he returned... Is it enough if the therapist lists experiences with personality disorders? Should he/she be more qualified? What could we search for? We're not together again just talking again and he's willing to do professional couple's therapy.

@j.3069

3 ай бұрын

​@healnpd Thank you. And for parents as couples therapy? My baby's father thinks he's suffering from npd and vanished before her birth, now wants to talk as he's not coping well and I asked for "couple's" therapy with a professional psychotherapist. But what kind should we be looking for? He himself is a medial doctor training to become a psychiatrist and psychotherapist, in therapy for his job and was in therapy since a couple years ago. But never to my knowledge with somebody experienced with npd. I don't want couples therapy cause more damage than do good. Would an I believe systemic therapy with John Gottmann method be able to make sense as it focuses on I statements and describing experiences not the other person? Or what else could work with his suspected npd? We tried once before during pregnancy and it went very bad as the therapist sided only with him (father was suicidal and therapist claimed that was normal and not pathological, dismissing how that feels for the pregnant partner...) I got preterm labour contractions several times and had to ask the father to leave till birth...I felt the therapist wanted to break us apart since the father openly said himself he thinks he has npd. A year later he returned... Would a CBT psychotherapist specialised in personality disorders be enough? What could we be looking for? We're not back together just speaking again. Many thanks!

“Sticking to boundaries” sounds easy but is it really? I mean, I have huge issues (when under pressure) protecting my boundaries, (extreme empathy, compassion, willingness to help) … or reacting with frustration… are the others consistent with always knowing their boundaries?

can cbt be effective in treating npd?

@healnpd

3 ай бұрын

Depends on the model. ACT and DBT are both CBT-based and could be appropriate for NPD.

Dr Sam Vaknin has a pretty goofy persona online, I wonder if some of it is his Real Self? I mean most of his impressive stuff would go over our heads anyway, and I go back to his videos every once in a while when he's got a good topic....

@brandonmcalpin9228

2 ай бұрын

I think his most recent videos are a reflection of his true self while his older videos are more of his false self. You can tell in his older videos, he has a deep baritone voice and very monotonous persona. His most recent videos, his voice isn’t deep at all and has a more lively persona; but this could be a different manifestation of a false self too.

How do you deal with a female narcissist?

love this ❤