I’m 13.5 years married. We just had our 4th child, she was an “oopsie daisy” baby. I am worried that adding this 4th child has really strained my marriage. I want to hold on and hope that we can reconnect. It’s really hard to have hope in times like this-when I feel like we’re just in survival mode and not having any time to be together.

@kathyfrye2117

5 ай бұрын

Don't wait to do anything about it, and don't just assume that because you are stressed with a new baby in the house, that's the reason you feel disconnected from your wife. Don't take the chance of being wrong about that! Be proactive and start getting some outside help. I chose Marriage Helper and it was one of the best decisions I've ever made. You don't know what you don't know. But once you do, you will wish you would have learned these concepts YEARS ago!

Is there a way to spark limerance type feelings with our spouse? Help them.fall madly in love with us? I recall being madly in love with my husband back when we were dating. And I still get occasional butterflies from him. But he cant recall ever feeling that with me. He had limerance for another and fell hard for her. We have since reconciled but his feelings aren't the same for me. He loves me but almost dutifully, rather than because he is in love with me 😢 He is attracted to me he is just not obsessively in love with me in any way 😢

@fatimaamador7133

4 ай бұрын

I want to see the answer to this question as well! 😢

@nicholesidla6233

2 ай бұрын

Limerence can only happen once with a person. And that type of love isn't sustainable long term and definitely isn't healthy long term. My H was in limerence from 2022-2023 and while he was in it he asked me if he ever "felt love like that for me" which was really hard to hear but I was able to send him some posts and pictures from earlier in our relationship to remind him. Sometimes it's about reminding them what it was like in the beginning but more than anything it's about the pulls you do. I understand it feeling dutiful rather than "in love" but that's how REAL LOVE (not limerence, limerence isn't real love) grows to a healthy attachment. Trust me I understand wanting to be able to trigger limerence in them toward you, I want to a lot of times too, still. I would love to have my H tripping all over himself to make me happy like he did for her but like I said, it's not sustainable. It grows and becomes healthy, and secure and that's honestly a good thing. You can create more pulls though, change the way you show up in your relationship and it will likely overall rub off on him in time.