My daughter, who is 24, just began teaching at a special needs school this year. The head of the school recently complemented her on her appearance and outfit. Apparently the teacher who had her position last year and was terminated came to work in exercise clothes, a messy ponytail with no attention to her appearance. This complement caused my daughter one to thank me for teaching her how to present herself well and two say wow I guess it really is worth taking the time to brush my hair and put on a little makeup and choose outfits that are practical and flattering. Glad she learned that lesson early in her career.

@TheDailyConnoisseur

6 жыл бұрын

I love that. How great for your daughter!

Amen Jennifer. I think a HUGE problem now with society is that everyone is GLUED to their phone. In addition to not being able to be a responsible adult, people don't even know how to have proper conversations anymore. They can't get through dinner without their phones.(Major pet peeve). Attention spans are 0 and people want things INSTANTLY. And being an adult requires you to do things that won't bring you instant gratification. So you are so right! I love that you talk about these things. Thank you! xoxo

@TheDailyConnoisseur

6 жыл бұрын

SO true, Kathryn! Mobile phones are definitely part of the distraction. Glad you are safe from the hurricane!

@cumberlandarearides3137

6 жыл бұрын

I think cell phones are not only a distraction, but limit young adults from adulting. They can call mom and dad for help anytime. While I think it's wonderful to have a close relationship with your adult children, I've been quite surprised at the multiple times a day, every day contact my babysitters have had with their mothers. And in defense of millennials, I know plenty of Gen Xers who don't work hard and are terrible with money. Savings? Planning? What is that?

Yes, someone else agrees with me and finds that word terribly annoying and ignorant 🙈 I was happily married at 19, and in the past 11 years I've had to be my own adult and as part of the millenial generation I reject the idea that bills and cleaning are just too hard 😂 I think a big part of it is that someone else has or is still being the adult for them in their lives so they never had the practice. A great topic Jennifer I'll have to check those other videos out!

@Wisconsinmom82

6 жыл бұрын

my so-called home, I count both you and Jennifer as inspirations! ❤

@TheDailyConnoisseur

6 жыл бұрын

Thanks, Hilary! I love your story :)

@jaimezuniga4702

6 жыл бұрын

my so-called home I love your experience. I think so many are afraid to be adults and especially start families and also don't want the responsibility. I was married at 20 and never ever thought twice about the difficulty of it. It is difficult but the rewards are huge! It's worth it. My oldest son is 21 and he is in college and wants to marry when he finds the right girl and wants to have children. I'm proud of him for wanting those good things because society tells these young people otherwise. Society says to do what you want for you and not to get tied down with being responsible.

@remoorekable

4 жыл бұрын

Old World Home Me too. I married at 18. This May it will be our 18th wedding anniversary.

@average_coverage

3 жыл бұрын

So weird to see people married happily so young. Leaving the guy I dated at that age was one of the few decisions I haven't regretted even for a second since. Did you all marry man of your age or older?

Love this subject. I married at 19 (have been very happily married for 42 years) and I couldn’t wait to be an adult! I remember being 16 and telling my boyfriend (the one I married!) “Lets get married and get an apartment! I can work in a donut shop! We can make it work!” As a newlywed I relished all the adult activities…paying bills, housework, grocery shopping etc. We bought our first home at the age of 21 using the GI bill. And we had such fun fixing it up and buying second hand pieces of furniture and refinishing them. We were poor at first but so happy to be adults! I look around now at 20 & 30 year olds and most are perfectly happy to still be living with their parents! What happened? Young men nowadays don’t even seem to want that first car…the rite of passage to my generation. Thank you for talking about this rather avoided subject! By the way...I do not have a cell phone! & I never have had one... and I love the freedom. When Im out running errands or taking long walks, Im alone with my thoughts. Enjoying being present, in the moment and the lovely peace it brings.

@happymamma670

6 жыл бұрын

lisa sandiego loved your comment. A true inspiration 😘

@Lisasandiego1

6 жыл бұрын

Thank you, Emma!

I hope you enjoy my insight into the "adulting" discussion! While this video is mainly preaching to the choir, I wanted to share my insight on the "I can't adult today" mentality. Many people get offended by my opinions lately and please know that we are all entitled to our own opinions. This is my platform where I respectfully convey what I am noting in society. Every generation deals with hardships. I think about my grandparents who lived and fought in WWll. We can look to their generation to see how they coped and "got things done" under such duress. God bless you all and thank you for weighing in in the comments section! ~Jennifer

@victoriakent1653

6 жыл бұрын

You mentioned Blimey Cow! I know you and your family recently chose to homeschool your children while abroad. Homeschooling enabled me to meet the Blimey Cow gang while growing up. :) Who knows! Maybe your girls will follow in your footsteps and create positive, inspiring channels like yours and Blimey Cow's.

@TheDailyConnoisseur

6 жыл бұрын

I love Blimey Cow :)

@MusicForDisappearedTetrominoes

6 жыл бұрын

the Daily Connoisseur people get offended because you tell the truth and they feel guilty. Who knows, maybe we have given too much power to our "inner children" and now they want to rule our lives! Don't mind offended people, in the long run they might be the ones who will actually benefit the most from your words 😉

@hannahlopez1468

6 жыл бұрын

I couldn't agree with you more! I used to be a "typical" American in my dress and housekeeping. Definitely not "adulting" well! But after college I took a job working for a non-profit in southeastern Europe. Although I was living in a country considered "poor" by american standards, I was amazed by the care they took in appearances! With a fraction of my standard of material goods and space, they took pride in their dress, in how they presented themselves, in their homes, in their posture... I felt as if I had been transported by in time! Only with the addition of cellphones and the Internet 😊 I now live back in the states, but I still hold those people and the lessons they taught me deep in my heart. I strive to look my best and take care of myself. I make my home a place of peace and comfort, always ready for hospitality. And I have a fraction of my material possessions, even now that I'm married and have a toddler! It's truly a change for the better. As I stewerd myself, my home, and my possesions better, I am more productive and experience more freedom to serve others, as well.

@chaank1069

6 жыл бұрын

Erica Rei BruCe well said

Hello Jennifer! I loved this video and you did an outstanding job of encouraging those who may be having trouble in this area! It reminds me of the verse in 1 Corinthians 13:11 which reads, "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I set aside childish ways." It's evident to me that as adults we are to hold ourselves to a higher standard all around. Thank you for speaking about this subject! ~Nikki

@TheDailyConnoisseur

6 жыл бұрын

Perfect scripture to back up my point, Nikki. Thank you!

I agree with much of what you said. While millennials may have coined the phrase "adulting" I see people struggling at all ages. I think many of us are overwhelmed with life and it takes careful thought and discernment to eliminate the distractions and commitments to get back to what really matters.

@TheDailyConnoisseur

6 жыл бұрын

I totally agree, Cheri! I think the "adulting" artwork is made for the millennial market though :)

@pamlong448

6 жыл бұрын

It truly does!

I'm 42. I get up every day and walk my dog and feed my cat. I go to work, I pay my bills, I take care of my house. I don't think that it's "too hard". But just the other day I said to my mother, "being an adult is for the birds". And she agreed. Because when you are young, you think that being an adult means being able to do whatever you want. And to an extent, I can. BUT there's also a ton of mundane activities that go along with it. Yes, I do my laundry. Would I rather be doing something else? Of course. I'd rather be getting a massage. Do I clean my house? Yes. Would I rather be getting a pedicure? Yup. But let's be honest: being an adult is stressful. There's a lot of responsibility that comes along with it. I don't mind doing these things. I like having a clean house and food and clean clothes. However, there are some days that I come home from work and say, "I'm NOT doing these dishes today". Because some days I need to stop adulting for a minute. The world isn't going to come to an end if I don't wash dishes for one day.

Jennifer, I want to write a book right now because this is a subject I feel so strongly about. I absolutely agree with everything you said. Our generation seems to be a complete mess! People dress like slums, their houses are a wreck, their lazy and their life seems to be just chaotically out of control! Just today, I met an older woman in her sixties and she asked me how old I was ( I'm 32). I told her and she said "Wow! You look like your 19 or 20 but you carry yourself like someone much older. You are so mature!" And thats because the typical mothers around my age all seem to be struggling! They are constantly frazzled, half of them cant seem to make it out of their pjs, their homes are out of order, and their constantly complaining about their children and their husbands. I just don't understand this. I come from a big family. I am one of seven children and my mom did it all! Our home was always clean and tidy, our clothes were always washed and put away, our meals were home cooked and she always made time for us. If she can do it than so can the rest of us. And I do not mean to just pick on mothers. Our entire younger society just seems to have a complete lack of maturity, a lack of respect, and a lack of appreciation for others.

@TheDailyConnoisseur

6 жыл бұрын

You should write a book, Sheena!

I fall into the millennials and they need to grow up! Take responsibility and move out, hold a job and work hard! Its so sad to see people my age acting like high schoolers. Both my husband and I went to school full time worked all while being married at 19 and we made it, without debt or killing each other. We've both worked so hard and took responsibility at a young age to be productive humans. Everyone wants to be given things and not work for it.

Hi Jennifer, as someone who graduated this summer and is living alone, I wanted to weigh in on this. Although I agree that many people are experiencing an extended adolescence, I don't think it's purely out of laziness or for too many distractions (which is an issue I think affects people of all ages - my dad who is in his 50s spends more time on his iPhone than I do!). Due to the financial climate and social changes more and more people are going to university, but then having to move back in with their parents afterwards as they try to find a full time job, get money together, etc. As I rent my own flat and share it with my boyfriend I've noticed a huge difference in general household knowledge compared to myself and other friends living at home, such as meal planning, cleaning, how to fix plumbing, taking care of council tax in the UK, and things like that. A lot of my friends don't have a lot of these skills, not because they're lazy and are too busy doing other things - almost all of them have full time unpaid internships, and that's why they live at home - but because they haven't needed too due to their living situation. I do agree though that there is also a huge problem with 'adulting' and it being hard being normalised, as it's being seen as quirky or relatable to admit that you can't look after yourself. There are so many resources (all it takes is a quick google search) to find out how to do these things for yourself. I do agree that people need to take responsibility, but I think the reasons why 'adulting' is so difficult is quite a complicated one!

@TheDailyConnoisseur

6 жыл бұрын

Hi Susan, you make some great points!

@andreatherese1099

6 жыл бұрын

I totally agree with you in the way that this idea that you need a degree to function and then have huge debt to deal with really creates problems. I think the attitude in a part where it matters though and doing what you have to do to get by rather than complaining about it probably makes all of the difference. And maybe we're not repaying that debt back super quickly. I don't know but I think there is plenty of blame to go around. I just think we all have to step up to that plate and just try to make it work and make it work for the generations coming.

Jennifer, In our homeschool, we learn Latin. This is a task scorned by many who see Latin as obsolete or "dead". Besides the argument that Latin remains the language of science and law, Latin also has value as we examine our own language and culture. I agree with your opening statement, that we don't want to "adult" and instead want to be constantly entertained and comfortable. I was convicted of this desire when I heard a dissection of the Latin roots of the word "amuse". The Latin prefix 'a -' means 'not'. The root 'muse ' means 'to think'. As we seek to be entertained every moment we are literally ceasing to think. As Neil Postman puts it in his book 'Amusing Ourselves to Death', by choosing to not think, we are choosing to not take part in our lives, our families, and our society. Thus we are the most depressed and anxious generation in the history of man, despite being the most comfortable and wealthiest, and are causing the disintegration of our society as a whole, the family unit, and ourselves as individuals. Thank you for providing not just mindless amusement but also thought and discussion inducing discourse. -HLC

@TheDailyConnoisseur

6 жыл бұрын

What a great comment, Heather! I'm actually reading Postman's book right now and couldn't agree more!

My husband and I worked 3 jobs between us to buy our home debt free. We were both paying all our bills and being adults from 17. I see it in many young people, even my own adult children the reluctance to stand on their own two feet and become an adult. I completely agree with all you have said here. Our Grandparents lived through wars and depressions and became mature adults, often parents at young ages.

From what I see in the comments section a lot of people seem to be offended. Perspective plays a vital part of this. No matter what generation you come from I think the word adult is a relative term that has a different definition or standard. The message I got from Jennifer's video isn't that to be an adult you have to own a house or work at a job you hate or this generation is better than that one. I took the overall message to be about taking on responsibilities no matter what yours happen to be and do them with a joyful heart. It will make bearing them and succeeding at them much more enjoyable.

You are spot on, people no longer want to take care of themselves. The years of schooling and college has made people into eternal kids.

As the mother of a 24, 22, and 19 year old, I am tired of people not intimately connected with this age group criticizing the millennial generation for being lazy, entitled, distracted, and immature. I raised my kids to work hard and be responsible, and they are. So are their friends. These young adults are discouraged by obstacles they face which, in large part, are the product of government and corporate financial policies (and mismanagement) put in place by the baby boom generation that benefited themselves. Young adults today face a 'gig economy' or 'job churn' with no security, have to hustle with 2 or 3 jobs, and constantly think ahead to what's next. Long and expensive post-secondary educations often don't lead to good jobs with pensions and health and dental benefits, which older generations took for granted. Real estate is so inflated they have no faith or hope they will ever be able to buy a home or have a family. Between school and work, they don't have a lot of time for recreation, and what is the difference really between three hours spent playing computer games, or three hours watching football, or three hours on a golf course? Every generation has had its 'choice' of recreation. My children have come to value other things. Experiences, like time spent with friends and travel, are valued more than possessions. They care about looking after each other and the planet more than profits. I find their approach to life to be refreshing and honest. I find baby boomers that are facing retirement with a mortgage and other debt hanging around their ears to be disconcerting. They went through the workforce at the most advantageous time in recent history and spent a lot of money on themselves. How can they expect this younger generation to be better and do better than them?

@wholesomevalour7455

6 жыл бұрын

I agree with your points. I really do not feel like we have job security in this day and age. Not to mention our extended education tends to only lead to jobs we would have been qualified for without a degree.

@Janeite445

6 жыл бұрын

Yes! This was my sentiment, but I didn't have the words. Apparently, I'm an old millennial (I just learned this recently), but this video just made me madder and madder. Thanks for defending us!

@tiffanyweber3028

4 жыл бұрын

Ruth Moeller I’m part of the millennial generation and I can see your side as well as Jennifer’s view. To be honest majority of millennials are not encouraged to grow up and take responsibility. Majority of their parents allow their fears and insecurities to still baby their children. Men in my generation sit in front of Xbox all day who desire to be filled through false accomplishments. Jennifer is bringing up the issues that have been crippling generations after generations. These things are important to discuss. It’s great you raised your children well as who are hard workers. I would say I too am one of the few as well and we need to be willing to make change by telling the truth.

As a linguist, I couldn't help but notice when you said that "adult[ing] is not a verb... it is something you do." "Something you do" is actually the definition of a verb (e.g., to walk, to sleep, to be). Just a minor comment. Love the sentiment of the video overall and I do agree with you.

Hi Jennifer, I'm a 23-year-old French teaching assistant in London. I made the big move a few weeks ago and I was very afraid I wouldn't know how to 'adult' properly either. I'm still not sure if I am, to be honest. But your video made me realise that I was certainly doing things right to be a proper grownup. So thank you for this realisation! :) x

I love Tea Time with Jennifer! Your videos always inspire me. I have grown to love looking presentable every day. I have lost weight and I walk a little taller. I know I am setting a positive example for my teenage daughters and sending a message to those around me that I care. I am thankful for the day and the privileges of being a mom, a homemaker, and a nurse.

I feel that the issue of struggling to adult is part due to a difference in how we were raised in general. Most kids I knew would complain about their chores which usually consisted of one or two tasks here and there- taking the trash out or making their bed, etc. We didn't grow up tending our family's farm or cooking for hours so that we could have jam and bread with dinner. Quick meals became available, microwave meals were invented, mass farming became an industry, fast fashion took the place of custom tailoring. Convenience became the new priority, I think. When you grow up with life being so convenient it is a reality check when things as simple as hand washing dishes have to be done and there is no easy way out of it. Enter the issue with adulting. I think society has almost tried to make life too easy which has led to children being raised with unrealistic expectations of becoming an adult. When reality hits it hurts, and it's not something we have been raised to know how to deal with. That's my opinion from my own generation. I struggle as well but I have found that the more I cut out the convenience in my life, the easier it gets to be able to handle an "adult" task like cooking a meal. It's a total shift of mindset for me and it's a completely conscious one because nothing in society is telling me to try to make life "harder" or choose the route that takes effort.

I am an early millennial and I just wanted to add my two cents to the conversation. I am one of those people that use "adulting" as a verb at times in my life as a joke. I am a nurse; masters educated who works in neurosciences. My job is physically, emotionally and mentally draining. A typical day could see me make very rapid decisions about multiple patients care that potentially alter their life course. Today for instance I worked for 12 hours and was joking to a colleague about having to go to the grocery store and be an "adult". Joking about it doesn't mean I didn't do it. The other important thing I want to say is that this is not a generational thing. People of all ages sometimes just don't feel like doing something, it's just that millennials are more likely to express it. And you know what? I see that as a good thing. Constant pressure to "be the best" "have everything done" and "be presentable" can be an unrealistic expectation. Asking for help is OK, and telling people they can't be open about their struggles can lead to depression, feeling like you're not good enough and poor lifestyle choices that ultimately land you in my care in hospital. Sometimes I just need to watch a KZread video, a TV show etc for 30 minutes to unwind and then I'll do some more "adulting". If all I did was be serious and do adult tasks all day then I'd be a pretty miserable person. Millenials just have a different way of expressing themselves and I think that's ok.

@whatever7588

2 жыл бұрын

Yes but I think the problem is that people get soo lazy that they do those things More than work to the point where they’re not getting anything done and that’s no way to live either. One should learn to find find peace in their their everyday “adult” tasks as well. It’s definitely all about balance 👌🏽

You are awesome Jennifer!! I love your videos!! I am a mom of a 29, 26, and a 22 year old. Homeschooled each of them all the way through. Each are responsible, hard-working, adults who have been supporting themselves for years. When you go against popular culture and train your kids in the way they should go...they thrive!! God is faithful. ❤️

Jennifer I couldn't agree with you more. My husband and I were just recently talking about this since we are having a hard time with our peers from school. Thank you for not being afraid to speak your mind. I'm sure you and I will get blacklash!

I think it helps when parents start early, teaching their children about responsibility. Of course, children need to have a chance to enjoy their childhood, but there's nothing wrong with giving them some age-appropriate tasks. I think it helps to encourage confidence and self-sufficiency throughout their growing years. By the time I was a teenager, I cooked dinner for my parents several nights a week (they both worked, and appreciated having a break to chat and watch the news together, while I prepared dinner). Far from feeling put upon, it made me feel so big about myself! I loved knowing that I was doing my part, contributing to the family!

My parents are great, amazing parents with great, amazing souls. They had such a difficult financial life and upbringing that they tried to make everything easy and smooth for me, they didn't want life to be hard for me as it was for them. Whilst I understand and am grateful for their best intentions and love, that shielded me from the real world in an indescribable way, and when I got my first job this year, I realized I had no idea how to actually be an adult, even though I am one by age. Your channel is helping me immensely to grow up really fast and (I believe) gracefully, because I want to "adult" with a happy heart and enjoy the process. I am slowly saving money because I want to buy a house, and manage my own household, and can only hope to be as graceful and efficient as you are. Thank you for inspiring us, the young and clueless.

This is by far my favorite video discussion you have posted! Thank you for shedding light on this "adulting" issue. I think much of the problem stems from the fact that people forget that they're raising their children to become well-adjusted adults, as opposed to raising them to become overgrown children. This is where the concept of "adulting" becomes a verb that is performed only in certain instances, when one "feels like it," as opposed to a stage of life! I think it would be great if you further discussed this for young people (and older for that matter) who are having a difficult time transitioning!

Thank you for sharing this Jennifer! I get so tired of hearing about "adulting" and love how you have talked about it! It is vital for people to take responsibility for their lives and give their best!

24 yr old recent college grad here...I agree with you Jennifer! The concept of “adulting” is so toxic. I wish personal responsibility was more heavily promoted than making a joke of hiding from really basic responsibilities.

Thank you for this sermonette Jennifer! I know you weren't being preachy at all but I personally felt encouraged to persevere in the "hard things" My husband sits down and helps a lot of people with their budget and I am sorry to say that these days, most people leave their parents home without even knowing how to write a check or balance a checkbook. My heart grieves for the younger generation!! We have found that many of them want to know how to be responsible adults and jump at opportunities for mentorship if it avails itself to them. For whatever reason they were not taught these things at home. 😔 One of my biggest prayers is that my children leave my home knowing how to be responsible adults!

I stand in total agreement with you and your opinions! We adults must lead by example and not be pleasers of others. We must strive to live with excellence, courage and integrity! Thank you for being a lovely woman of excellence✨

So I'm a gen x-er and I feel like my generation is also not winning at adulting. I see cluttered homes, yoga pants, poor diet, etc. I feel like the Millennials just gave it a fun name. And it obviously looks different for them, but honestly the home clutter is all on our generation. But yes, everyone needs to adult and it's not always fun. ☺️

@TheDailyConnoisseur

6 жыл бұрын

I totally agree!

I worked in an insurance office for a few years (not my favorite job). We had so many people in their late 20's and into their 30's who allowed their parents to pay their insurance and other bills, take care of the children, and could not keep a job. Most of them seemed intelligent enough and educated. They were just lazy. What an unfulfilled life. The struggles of adulthood make us strong and even are good memories when you see how you can overcome . The parents of these loafers are depriving them of a satisfying adult life.

I'm usually an adult but I've overdone the adulting this week, feel bleeuurrgh and I'm being a child lying on my sofa in my new fluffy dressing gown.....complete with a hood with teddy bear ears. Madame Chic would definitely not approve🙂

@TheDailyConnoisseur

6 жыл бұрын

Ha! :)

Sorry but the adult thing has been around a lot longer than you think. Many a man especially that are in their 50's have this condition. But for them it was excepted. They made it work without looking bad. And I think the way they made it work was to be responsible but still hold on to the things that they enjoyed doing that was fun. They would be responsible at work because work made it so they could be irresponsible at home. So the philosophy was work and play. My husband is like that. He doesn't do home chores at all. He will do a task like putting in a electrical fixture like a light fixture but it is like trying to get a teen to do something they don't want to do. So this is not new. Here are some words from the past. If you don't grow up by 35 you don't have to. This was always a big one for men. Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional Who said I have to grow up. Growing up is optional. Do you remember the time we couldn't wait to grow up? What were we thinking? The thing that has changed is that those children grew to be parents and didn't want their kids to go through what they did. And they took the easy way out and gave them things that kept them busy so they didn't have to deal with them. They gave them babysitters in TV, portable gaming, cell phones. They didn't take the time to teach them how to become mature people. So now all the children are paying the price of having to figure out how to become adults on their own and they don't want to. Hey girls just wana have fun. Growing up is for sissies. They see that growing up not as an adventure or a privilege but as a chore that robs them of youth and fun. And not having been taught the balance and joy of being an adult they sadly will have a hard road ahead of them because the lack of becoming an adult does not erase the consequences. I think the reason for a lot of suicides is just this. They have grown up and but They really don't know what to do be happy. Because the life they have known does not serve them as adults. None of the addictions of TV, gaming, cell phones, friends or even parents has prepared them for this life and they don't know how to stop what they know and be what everyone wants them to be. HELP! Like every thing we there is always a cause but for every cause there has to be personal responsibility. It is not about what has happened in our lives that need to blame and hold on to. Becoming aware and realizing that our thoughts can be our worst enemy. Our brain will always try to find a way to protect ourselves from things that we think are uncomfortable. And in our thinking our brain actually gets in our way of making progress. Every thing we think rather we are old or we are young does not represent the truth all the time. We take the easiest way out because of conditioning over time. If we are conditioned that life is to be fun all the time then that is what we want to do because that is what we have always done. And some of us wake up on a given day and say Hey this fun life is not serving me any more. I need a change and in that change I am still going to find time for the things that make me happy. I say be strong and find a role model on your own young people that you can talk to for good input along the way. You don't even have to tell them they are your role models. You can ask them questions and watch how they live their life and get training without anyone even knowing. We all have to learn to live full lives. We just have to decide what we want it to be full of. And that may be hard but but hard is something everyone can do. Many people before us have done it. And we can do it to. You can be an over comer and conquer the things in your way and be more. Many have had obstacles in their way in the past, very very hard obstacles and have become victorious. You can too! Go Millennials. No I am not a Millennial. I am 56 and I felt like I wanted to share some old wisdom. Love you all.

@eizhowa

6 жыл бұрын

Good point. Although if my man did not help out with the chores it would not go down well :P

@TheBayoubreeze

6 жыл бұрын

I did not represent him very well. Here are the facts. He works out of town getting home on Fri but then has to do paper work and schedule travel for the next week then is done for the week. Sunday is church and going to his moms who lives alone and is 82 and has a list for him when he comes. Then home to get all his bags ready for Mon. Saturday we try to spend together and do things that we enjoy. It really is just as crappy for him as it is for me. I don't fret about it too much.

@DeliciousReads

6 жыл бұрын

Thank you for this- from a millennial :)

@aditimisra80

6 жыл бұрын

TheBayoubreeze what's not adulting? - reading/ writing a long post on KZread about what being an adult 'should' be. 😂

@catedennis41

5 жыл бұрын

I, for one, am SICK of millennials and their "excuses."

Whenever I’m struggling to be responsible and clean my apt, I will watch this and it reminds me of how I need to be! I need to be responsible, efficient, presentable, and stop being lazy and unproductive! So thank you sooo much Jennifer!!!

The tongue in cheek slang word, adulting shines a light on state of affairs of today's society. We live in stressful times where the information highway over saturates and confuses us. As adults, we have an obligation to cross reference and make sense of everything we hear. I agree we need to be responsible with our lives and do the hard work.

This is such an important topic. We're a generation who, for the most part, grew up without chores. Something to keep in mind as we become parents ourselves.

Thank you so much for continuing to publish this kind of content. After dressing more presentable the past 3 months, I felt so frumpy today walking my son to the bus in my sweatshirt and running shorts. My youngest daughter came home from school and told me they took a poll in one of her classes(she is 16) and that only 2 kids in the class do chores at home(she is one of them). I also remember when she was in Elementary school that many of the kids had the newest model year Iphone. I think this is part of the challenge. It is critical that we teach work ethic at home. My 20 year old daughter has saved 10k in the past 5 months to buy an investment property and is going to college(which she is paying for)...not all millennials are what you describe. However, at the same time many are, they are adults and they need to make the decision to adult. It is a privilege to adult especially in our affluent country.

So many good points Jennifer!! I totally agree with what you are saying!❤️ I love that you aren't afraid to dive into these "controversial" topics!

I'm a 29-year old millennial and I can attest to how true this is! People have gasped in confusion about what I do with my free time because I don't watch TV or have Netflix. I'm confused how they can be confused. I work 50 hours a week, I maintain my health with 3 workouts a week, and I successfully maintain my household all by myself (I live alone). How anyone expects me to have free time to rot on a couch is besides me. For some odd reason, cleaning or doing household chores every single is "weird".

@TheDailyConnoisseur

6 жыл бұрын

I love it!!

I love this video. I'm in my 30's and I struggle with " adulting" some days. I have manic depressive episodes that make some days hard for me. I have three kids a full time job and a home so I have a lot to do. Your videos inspire me to keep having good days. I will save this video to my favorites.

I fully agree with you!! It's a light hearted comment that reflects a real way of thinking. I recently complimented two of my grandsons, who are elementary school age, on their behavior and social skills. Yes, they are kids and have fun being kids, I told them they have skills that many young adults don't have and I am very proud of them. :)

We need our moms, aunts and grannies to teach us how to be successful, but we don't usually pass down a lot of tips anymore. Too bad- now kids have to figure things out on their own. Jennifer is my "mom" that tells me how to orient my life! 👍🏼

I think you are 100% correct. Great discussion.

I so enjoy your videos especially your tea times. I am glad to see women speak with authentic voices (both in your videos and the comments below.)Thanks for refusing to dumb down KZread! It is appreciated.

I think part of the problem is the parents aren't giving children responsibilities at home, of course they don't know how to adult! They have never been responsible for anything. Great topic Jennifer.

I see why some people got mad at you. You spoke the truth and As a millennial, woman, wife, mother and business owner I agree with you.

A big factor I see is lack of patience in millennials and gen z. As a millennial, I have had (and continue to) work on this skill. You need patience to carry out the duties of life - studying, working, managing a home, developing relationships, caring for your marriage and family, etc. And with patience you can "adult" and be content in the process. On another note - Thank you for your channel! I find it very helpful. Please do the job interview discussion!

I'm from a generation where you moved out asap and were happy to have ANY job to pay rent. Eventually I had my dream job...but I had MANY small jobs that I learned alot from in retrospect. I was SO proud living on my own early on, so many Millenials live at home past 18, unfathomable.

The main reason that people seem unable to face up to adult responsibilities is that they are so cosseted as children and young people so that they are unable to deal with the pressures of real life. We must allow children to be subjected to difficulties and failures. Only then will they be able to cope as adults.

So true. Love the encouragement you give. All of your videos are wonderful and have absolutely enjoyed reading your books 😊🌺

Yes I agree! I'm a 26 year old millenial and now that I've transitioned from college days to managing a full time career, a marriage and a household, I try and perform "adulting" duties with a happier heart rather than complaining about it! Love the video :)

The lack of "adulting" capacity can come from mental health difficulties, past or recent trauma, growing up in a dysfunctional environment with no positive role models, etc. It's not always something that you can switch on, embrace and embody the moment you decide to do so. You, Jennifer, have had the advantage and rare privilege of growing up with supportive, functional and sane parents who gave you a blueprint for living well. I don't think you realize to what extent that is missing from most people's lives.

Yes! Totally agree!

I completely agree with you and I am guilty of having problems "Adulting" by myself sometimes these days. I wish they'd either have a class in school to teach ppl REAL LIFE SKILLS or maybe some kind of community workshop like that.

Oh Jennifer, thank you so much for this video. It really spoke to my heart. I'm not a millennial yet I sometimes find it hard to adult. Your words of wisdom inspired me to dress up and get it done! Thank you!!

I struggle adulting sometimes bc my parents didn’t teach me responsibility and I’ve had to learn on my own the hard way. My inner child never grew up so that’s why I’m here watching your channel 😕

I completely agree! Thank you Jennifer, your videos are always refreshing and I admire that you are so gracefully speaking your mind about subjects that shouldn't even be controversial, but they are. Relishing being an adult is such a good concept, "good" in its old and serious meaning, when people took pleasure in "goodness". When I think about the connection between "adulting" and "being presentable", somehow I always think of the show "Suits". While characters do swear a bit too much in the show, I generally love the way they dress (Jessica Pearson is one of my style icons! She's strong, responsible, makes impossible decision with an incredible aplomb and her clothes are SO chic!). Have a great day Jennifer!

This brings a tear to my eye. I have 3 young adults and it is frightening to see their version of adulting.

I have noticed that I especially get distracted with my phone and books even when I am feeling unhappy with my life. It becomes a distraction from things I don’t want to face or deal with.

Hahaha. This phrase has always bothered me - I never use it. I have never really been able to wrap my brain around why it annoys me so much. You hit the nail on the head. Also that "Adulting" link you shared is hilarious. HAHA. Thanks for sharing. Good reminder and good little giggle for the day.

Having hobbies as children and young adults is key to building a life and being able to occupy yourself. Those skills

Dressing like an adult is not materialism. It is healthy pride in yourself.

I think it's more than modern distraction; it's in how we were raised in the 90s and 00s. My parents were criticized for being too strict for prioritizing life skills and respect over our self-esteem and happiness. I'm 28 now, and I have shouldered some massive burdens in addition to "adulting"; I'm so glad they bucked the system or I'd have been woefully unprepared. Most of my peers are struggling with normal adult responsibilities and have no skill set or confidence to deal with them - hence the "I can't adult" insecurities. We grow up eventually and "adulting" just comes with the territory; how we have learned to approach life is how we learn to handle responsibility. Great video, Jennifer.

I love your channel. It is so refreshing in this modern day world!! We must be intentional with our life!

I'm five years late to the party on this video, but I love it and agree with it 100%. I'm a tail-end boomer and the problems really began in my generation and have gotten progressively worse with each successive generation, to the point where the younger generations do not even understand what we're talking about because they are so removed from the way things used to be. Keep up the good work. Love your channel.

I agree with you and you are so in point. I teach first grade in southern California.

Ha! Ha! When my daughter's went away to collage, then graduated, they said, they were going to make a difference with people that were not given a fair... opportunity. As they entered the work force, their tune sure did change!!! I receive compliments about their work ethics. Your vlog made me smile, with a little pride 🤭.

Thank you for this Tea Time! I myself needed to hear this & struggle with this. I haven't always struggled with this & was always great at "adulting" even before I was an adult lol. I seemed to lost my way with life circumstances & turn to social media & screen time for comfort, all the while having anxiety because I wouldn't get day to day responsibilities done. This inspired me to delete my Facebook app on my phone & if I want to check it, I will have to do it the "old" fashioned way by logging onto a computer! 😱. Anyway thank you again for this video, it was just what I needed to hear! You are one of my most favorite vloggers & I get so excited when you put out a new video! Keep up the great work! -Crystal-

@TheDailyConnoisseur

6 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much!

I agree with everything you said. You stated your opinion in a respectful manner and started a great topic for discussion

Jennifer, you are spot on. I am sure there will be many people who will criticize you for this video, but I think your delivery was perfect!

As a millennial, I found your video to be very insightful. I enjoyed how you addressed the topic in a respectable manner. In my opinion, this is more so true in American society. I grew up overseas and find that millennials in other cultures do not seem to struggle nearly as much with "adulting". Perhaps you touch on this in your books or can recall from your time spent in France and maybe even now as you are traveling through Europe. It would be interesting to hear your thoughts on what you have observed during your time overseas. Thank you for posting this video. I look forward to watching / reading your next post!

Full agree. I sincerely hope that many people who throw out the phrase "I can't adult today" are attempting to express tiredness or frustration in a light humorous way, not actually genuinely having an existential quandary about laundry and paying bills. It is certainly not materialistic to have expectations of yourself, or others out in society. Goodness. When did changing out of one's pajamas to leave one's house become "too superficial?!"

I also think in our country (Australia) we are told constantly that if we worked harder etc. we could do adult things like a buy a house etc. but we are also the generation that doesn't have affordable housing (7.5 times or more of average income affordable is 3.5 times) we pay for and pay more for our education than our parents and those in government and we are looking at being left with a world run and governed by those who benefitted from more affordable housing and free education and pre privatised prices on utilities. Additionally as a younger generation we feel a responsibility for things that those who are considered adult discount I.e. Caring for our planet, planning for a sustainable future, equality. So while I agree that it is great to be well dressed or adult to be continually told that we can't do these things or that our ideas are bred from ignorance results in us feeling like we aren't allowed to adult because we are told that what we are doing is not of value. I find this particular video hard to watch as someone on the millennial side of the equation. We are making the best of not being able to afford to live near our family ; we moved interstate to more affordable housing.

@queeniebaggins3732

6 жыл бұрын

Ann Fraser Australian school systems could also improve. Most state schools are very relaxed and students have little responsibility....wishful thinking....🤔 Also it does help if you never have a moderately successful adult role model.

What a great topic! My daughters are 7 and 11 and I'm worried for them! I limit their media time and take them to the park and the library, but their peers are sitting at the park drinking Frappuccinos at 11 years old!! What kind of adults will they be in 10 years? Personally, I have embraced most aspects of being an adult. I found a job that I love going to, although sometimes I wish I could stay up all night reading and then sleep til noon like I used to during summer break as a kid. The toughest part for me is getting the dishes done. I don't enjoy cooking and then cleaning up the mess in the kitchen, it's the one thing I always drag my feet about! As for "adulting", as parents we're responsible for teaching these things to our kids, we'll have no one to blame but ourselves if our grown kids end up sitting at home waiting for the perfect job to land in their laps while they watch youtube and drink lattes.

As a former business owner the main problem with employees was sticking to the dress code. I would simply send them home. 3 times being sent home resulted in termination. I never could understand why it was so difficult to come to work presentable? Not only is the work attire a representation of my company......it's also a representation of yourself.

Well said. You are 100% correct!!!!!

YES!!! Being an adult and having responsibilities is required, necessary, but it's also an opportunity and privilege. Lucky we have clothes to wear, houses to clean, cars to maintain, and family to take care of!

Hi Jennifer! First I'd like to say that I thoroughly enjoy your blog and am a huge fan. I just watched your video response to this video and I don't think you need to explain yourself to the critics. I'm 27 years old and therefore am a millennial and you're spot on about many generations having issues accomplishing everyday tasks due to too many distractions. I also look to inspiration from past generations, especially my grandmother's generation- as well as impoverished nations, when I feel as though I'm going through a rough patch and I realize- hey we have running water, a roof over our head, etc. and count my blessings. I joined the Air Force out of high school because I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life and didn't want to take on college debt. I think that was the best thing I could've done because it helped me to grow up especially because I had great leadership who didn't treat me as a child and I had to learn how to manage my paycheck, live on my own, be professional and respectful, etc. and now I'm a stay at home mom and am almost done with my bachelor's degree. Most everything I learned through trial and error and am still learning but that's ok. I do what needs to get done and try harder at the things I know I can improve on. When people talk about millennials I don't get offended because I feel as though I'm an older soul. Anyways just my two cents! Take care for now.

I love your topic! As a 44 year old I can understand the 'adulting' word but in a different context. Let me say first I agree with you 100% and even dressed up when I went to high school and college. When my friends and I use that word here are the meanings.... 1. I have to tell my child to choose to take the high road when bullied because responding even verbally will get him punished and I want to tell him to defend himself but that is unacceptable by the adults at the school. 2. When I want to respond as a human with emotions and feelings at work but have to put on a stoic face and tell an employee that the company will not be doing the right thing for them, but the right thing to the bottom line (as a boss and employee this goes both ways). 3. When for the good of X we must do Y and it isn't the moral thing but most cost effective (put the dog to sleep because spending the savings on him puts the family in a possible bind). These sorts of situations PLUS the fact that the lack of a true middle class anymore (dream of white picket fence and 2.5 kids etc) has disappeared for most people and you get ADULTING as a verb. People are tired...all ages are tired of it all. It seems to be widespread depression for the future and lack of hope that there is a rainbow for everyone where people matter. In the meantime to give self comfort I may wear soft clothing, wear pink nail polish, and cuddle a furry blanket. 🙂

you are spot on! what an astute observation. as children we cannot wait to be an adult and the freedom it comes with but we don't realize it comes with responsibility as well. when we get to adulthood we want to go back to being children.

Hi Jennifer, I applaud your candor and fully agree with you. My experience as a child (am 64 yrs young) was working and helping my family from the early age of about 11, cleaning motel rooms, 7 days a week that my fam managed while maintaining a high grade point average throughout school. A few years ago, I had to work full time while returning to school and some of my responsibilities at a museum were picking up cigarette butts and cleaning bathrooms, as well as some lawn maintenance. It was not beneath me, I was grateful to be able to pay my bills. Many today are handed everything, have an entitlement attitude and if work is involved, many shirk responsibility. WORK BUILDS CHARACTER, ETHICS, STRENGTH, and many more attributes are honed. Too much is handed to keep up with other parents so their children are IN with the rest of the herd. Not many UNIQUE INDIVIDUALS are raised anymore. Too much time on phones, both by young and old!! Too many women my age dressing like the younger with their leggings and tank tops everywhere you go. Women are shopping all the time, for more leggings??? To 'adult' is a weak way of saying, I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR ME, FOR MY CHILDREN, FOR MY HOME. That is a privilege, a blessing. Be thankful that one has all their senses, not mentally or physically handicapped that prevents them from fully engaging in LIFE, and that comes with work! Am I from another planet, maybe, but I think there are a few of us with this viewpoint still left. Thank you Jennifer for the opportunity to give voice to my thoughts. Enjoy Europe and be safe!!

@TheDailyConnoisseur

6 жыл бұрын

Love your comment, Victoria!

I was raised with the message that being an adult was a goal to strive for. There were clear lines of what was for children and what was appropriate for adults. The privileges of adulthood were tied to the greater responsibilities. It seems to me that those lines have blurred as people give their kids many more material things and indulge them with more opportunities and options than many of us were raised with. Adulthood is no longer necessarily the time that certain things should be reserved for - including intimate relationships, alcohol, more expensive material possessions. Those things are no longer tied to necessarily depriving yourself of them till you can financially support your basic needs. This is not one particular generations fault as this is a societal shift I would argue and and a reflection of a more causal attitude about a whole host of things including the purpose of marriage and what makes life meaningful. Love your work! Steffanie C.

I loved everything you had to say and agree with you. I think that two income earners are putting career and money before family. This has made adults very tired and unable to accomplish the most important roles of parenting/homemaker. Homes don't run themselves and healthy meals need to be planned. But with crazy sports schedules and games starting at the dinner hour, parents go from work to the gym or field to watch their children. It's exhausting, and moms and dads can't possible have enough time to cook and keep a house neat with 11 hour days/5 days per week. Thus no one wants to "adult." I think that many people need two incomes but those who don't- are trading two nice paychecks for a sane life of home cooked meals, home organization and someone at home to welcome others back from school/work. Not many people want to take the role of mom/homemaker/cook/family planner etc. but it is so necessary. I have an advanced nursing degree and have always worked part time ( one daughter in college one a senior in high school) and I still feel that managing a home and raising children correctly is a more difficult endeavor. It's really about priorities, do you want the bigger home and more things or do you want to have more sanity in your life and children who know you more than just as chauffeur. Lastly, when people are exhausted they put on the most comfortable clothes they can find- a psudo "hug" because everyone is so tired and stressed. I think change needs to start in the home with someone choosing to keep house, cook and be around for our precious children. Mother Theresa was once asked "what can you do to promote world peace." Her answer was "God home and love your family." Keep up the wonderful work Jennifer, we need more people like you in this world. God Bless your family.

I'm a millennial and agree with every word...I'm 25, have a degree and have been working as a professional for three years and been married for 4 years... I'm the youngest at my firm and then it goes up to 30sh... I have a hard time finding things in common with most of my peers and most of my friends are about 30y.o. Thank you Jennifer for bringing this up and hoping that your ideas will influence more people my age.

@TheDailyConnoisseur

6 жыл бұрын

Thanks Alina! Blessings to you!

I couldn’t agree with you more !!

Thank you, Jennifer for putting up a thought provoking vid during your holidays....ps: you look so pretty!❤️

@TheDailyConnoisseur

6 жыл бұрын

Thank you, Princess!

I could not agree with you more! I see it all the time!

Your sharing of your first job experience is very very inspiring.

Thank you lovely for this video. Yes I struggle with adulting and strongly believe in what my friend once said: "if i can pay someone else to do it, i rather do.. and i make time for more important things in life". For example: cleaning, cooking, ironing, etc.. i rather have all of those things taken care by others and i buy my time for myself and my family.

@demolatte872

6 жыл бұрын

Also I believe in a saying we have in my culture: "give the baker the money for him to make your bread even if he *ate* half of it!". I rather professionals do those things (which they do better than me) even if i had to pay a lot. Of course i cant do that always and i end up miserable doing some of those things which in my opinion wast of my time. If i had all the money i can have.. i would actually "live" in a hotel!

@demolatte872

6 жыл бұрын

+demo latte and just to be clear.. i wish to *buy* the time to spend it as quality time with my family (parents, hubby and kids as well as friends). Its not about me buying the time to rest or get entertained all the time.

Couldn’t agree more!!

Honestly I identify with this so much. I feel like it has taken me until my late twenties to truly feel like an adult. For my generation there certainly has been a lot of hand holding by the parents for way too long - when I was in my late teens I had a friend who never got out of bed for school until her mother came to wake her. Not exactly setting you up for adult life. Getting pampered by my parents was never my issue as my family situation meant I had to step up to adult duties in the home as a young child and despite that even years later I still didn't feel able to cope with 'adult life'. I'm come to realise that I just never realised how powerful and strong I truly am and that I've got this, life isn't perfect but everything is under control.

Jennifer, Yes, there is so much to be said about starting at the bottom. However, people want "instant gratification" in their employment, as well as other areas of life, instead of putting in the time, gaining experience, and moving up gradually. I work for a large, Christian publisher, and a wonderful, kind, intelligent man, who began working in the warehouse here right after college, is now the COO and President of the Company. I guess you could say he began "adulting" right out of the gate! Blessings to you! ❤

@TheDailyConnoisseur

6 жыл бұрын

That's awesome! I always like to look to Ben Franklin who was a major self-starter.

This was a very interesting discussion. I feel that it is good that people are able to espress their feelings, frustrations and emotions much more freely than previous decades. I think back to the stifled wemon of the 40's and 50's. When women were expected to be all smiles and look perfect and never complain. I think it is positive that we are starting to have the conversation that you do not have to be perfect to be a good mom or person. However, I agree with you that some are taking it too far! I absolutely agree that many people have been raised in such a way that they feel having to do regular normal tasks extremely difficult. You mentioned that when you dress nicely it shows respect for society. I feel more importantly it shows respect for yourself! My Mother brought this to my attention a few years ago. After having a child I took a few years off from my job in the medical field to be a stay at home mom. My mom bought me some new clothes that were well tailored and stylish. I said to her that I didn't know when I would be able to wear them. She said how about tomorrow? We had a nice conversation about how I need to respect and love myself, even if I don't go anywhere. My mom is beautifully dressed and makeup applied by 7am daily. And she is the happiest, kindest, hardest working woman I know. I started to listen to my mother's advice and it literally changed my life. I am more social because I am ready to hang out with people at any time. I am trying to have pride in what I do and do each task to the best of my ability. Taking care of your family is an honorable job. Thank you for the video. It gave me a lot to think about!

Spot on!!!!

I totally agree. Sure, sometimes it is just a joke but in many cases it isn't. I have grown friends (in their 30's) whose homes (often rented as that's life these days) still look like student accommodation with filthy bathrooms and piles of clothes everywhere. You don't need perfection but it doesn't take that long to wipe down counters or iron your laundry. There is the odd exception but most people have the time they just choose not to and I think, especially as they grow older, it keeps them from feeling respect for themselves as an adult or someone capable of making serious decisions in their life.

I adore your books and videos but this video hit a nerve with me so much that I couldn't even finish watching it. I had to take a break before coming back to comment and decided to after reading what others had to say. I have been adulting since I was 8 yrs, since my parents decided to be irresponsible people. My opinion is that when kids don't get a chance to be kids they have a harder time later in life. At least that's been my experience. For example, children years ago use to have summers off now children have assignments to work on. High schoolers are taking college courses while working part-time jobs. The pressure is the problem. I've worked very hard my whole life, but the responsibility I carry for my family is a heavy load at times and there is nothing wrong with having the desire to not adult sometimes. That doesn't mean I don't continue adulting, it just means I wish life circumstances would lay off me so I can come back up for a breath of air.

@TheDailyConnoisseur

6 жыл бұрын

Hi Rio, This video doesn't suggest that everyone on earth has trouble adulting. And it doesn't suggest that millennials alone have trouble. It says that a large part of society does. Don't take it personally! Good for you for your hard work ethic! Much love, Jennifer

I agree with you! I have people in my life who are singles in their mid 30's - some are single parents, some are not. But it seems that they tend to live lifestyles of those in their single 20's. Super spontaneous, spends more time doing fun activities than responsibilities at home. And as someone married with two kids who stays home more than I am out (because there is always so much everyday tasks to accomplish!), I feel like they want me to chill out, lighten up, go have fun, and I just want them to stop acting like they are fresh out of college. Because this causes strain, especially among family member relationships. I feel like a hotel sometimes for this one person who drives 2+ hours every other weekend to shop and have a good time with friends, and asks if they can crash at our place. It's not like they are coming to visit us. It's that we live in a convenient location. And it's always last minute. I don't get it because we don't do that to other people. We don't drive across the state every other weekend and need a place to crash for the night. And when we do travel it is planned in advance to the courtesy of others. This gallivanting just seems like something a young 20-something would do.

@taratags4499

6 жыл бұрын

Is it bad that I keep wishing they would get married so they would have a little more accountability and responsibility - and perhaps gain a firsthand understanding of where I am coming from, why my lifestyle is what it is??

@janalcazar1277

6 жыл бұрын

I think you need to have a heart to heart talk with your friend. It's the adult thing to do; unwanted, uncomfortable, but necessary. "They're welcome to visit, but not to crash." IMHO.

Preach! I can see this as a long-time-coming generation primed for socialism. People with this attitude would be the ones okay with being paid not to work. 😞 My husband works in building and remodel and has such a hard time finding good help (young guys with good work ethics). I’m thankful for the ones who will rise above, continue to work hard and do right, for they will be the ones who come out ahead and keep the world turning, so to speak! 💛

Great video, Thanks for this video