Financial freedom as a woman is extremely important! Thank you Shallon for not sugar coating this

What I found that works with my jealousy towards my husband (but was a boyfriend) is that he is attractive where other women fancy him which means I have good taste. But not only that, he is extremely thoughtful. For example, I never ask but get random little gifts through the year and if he notices I am sad or a bad mood my favorite chocolate is always purchased. I also found that if men chase you, they don’t stray as much because they wanted you more first.

Could we also talk about how to handle retroactive jealousy? My partner gives me no reason to be insecure about previous partners of him nor do I feel insecure when he goes partying with his friends. But I can’t stop comparing myself to the previous girlfriends/dates he had with others. We’ve been friends for a long time before we started dating so that’s why I know about his past.

@bahri9785

2 жыл бұрын

Omg never knew there was a word for this feeling! Feels good to put a name to it, thank you!

@fiercely.feminine531

2 жыл бұрын

would also love a video on this

@allaboardthegravytrain5987

2 жыл бұрын

Working on yourself. You are the only one who knows what your flaws are the things you are ashamed about. That’s the only way and that’s the fix. It’s not easy but it’s worth it and you don’t lose anything trying.

I think we can let men pay for us for the same reason you say to never talk men out of making more money: men are hardwired to provide. I used to never let guys pay for me on dates, but my current boyfriend pays for everything and I can tell it makes him feel good to provide for me. I let him take credit for my happiness, because why not 😅 it only adds more positivity to the relationship

I’m so glad you said to retreat bc I agree when feeling insecure in a relationship plugging in just leaves you more vulnerable, work on getting a life outside of them and remaining mysterious about it by simply giving less information than is necessary about your coming and goings and not letting them see you sweat. A week of that and their cards will be shown either way love ya Shallon!!

I love your advice about strategic retreat. I've done that once when my boyfriend's mom was being weird and wanted to sit next to her son and wouldnt let me, so I calmly said that I needed to go home a few minutes after. His mom later apologized and so did my boyfriend.

I told him this “what I did was a symptom of your actions.” I was right from the beginning and he pushed me to that point. The funny thing is he admitted that I was always right about my suspicions.

Yes! New York and California. “What do you do”? Lawyer? Doctor? Business owner? So true.

I wish Colby would have said it was Alexis’s personality that was unattractive. She thought it was all about her looks. Something tells me that if he said “hey you’re pretty but your personality sucks” she would be ok with that 😂

@mysticc6232

2 жыл бұрын

Yea but she was actually unattractive. She looked like she was the oldest

@ms.shineray

2 жыл бұрын

I think she would have called him abusive for that, let's not forget, he said i am not attracted to you and dont want to waste your time or my time because i am not seeing a future with you and she lied and said he said she was unattractive and that he was a terrible person 😅

Yes! When you said one word - leave. I literally said “yes!!!” That’s exactly what I did when my ex did this to me SO bad. He escalated more and more and more. So I did. I left. Thank you for validating me. I’ve gone crazy the last six months thinking I did the wrong thing, that I should’ve tried to make him feel better, gave him more etc. but honestly, it wasn’t going to change. I even spoke to him about it first, and he just escalated more by sending me a TikTok from a woman I was worried about, for no reason, but to trigger me. He had never sent me a TikTok before and it was totally out of context and out of the blue. He was constantly talking about how much the girls at work loved him. How one girl had to stay away for work with him. Checking other women out super obviously when we were out. When I met his friends, ignored me for the entire night except to check out a woman super obviously and animated and actually licked his lips and snarled like he was going to eat her. Lol. What a weirdo. I didn’t even react. However, he suddenly threw a fit, smashed a glass and stormed out because another guy asked me an innocent question about a chair. He then escalated to going out on boys benders, and not responding to me, leaving me on read. I couldn’t even get him to call me back to break up with him, as he was too busy. Yea, I couldn’t be bothered with that shit anymore. Boy bye.

@sB-wt5ov

2 жыл бұрын

Stay assured that you did the right thing!

@samco63

2 жыл бұрын

@@sB-wt5ov thank you for your support 💜

I just finished watching the whole season and I'll just say there were several cringe moments not only from Alexis. I wasn't initially wanting to watch this show but I did kind of learn some stuff. I've learned from your videos and I was able to figure out who wouldn't work out in the end. The best advice I've been told about relationships is, "a conversation about how you feel, isn't supposed to end in an argument."

I watch almost every new video that Shallon posts whether it sounds like it relates to me or not because I always learn something new!! It's just funny when my husband walks in the house after being out in the garage or something and there's a video on the TV titled "What to do when your man is making you jealous" or "What to do when you have the ick for a guy" 😂💀 and I'm like don't worry, I just watch Shallon no matter what the topic is!

The two proposals at "pick partner dinner" was a result of no one wanting them.

They way Alexis was trying to make Colby out to be the bad guy for not finding her attractive was so cringe. Like I’m sure you don’t find every guy attractive either.

@shallonlester

2 жыл бұрын

Can you IMAGINE confronting a guy who was that blunt and demanding he reject you again, for a different reason?? I wanted to die for her.

You should a live and we can comment together while you watch a horrible reality show I love how you don’t bow to the demon of politically correct

@shallonlester

2 жыл бұрын

Lol thank you! Literally nothing is worse than politically correct people and it's always correlated with people who feel uncool or not part of a social tribe so their clique become wokeness

Shallon, can you please do a video on the massive red flag that is Brooklyn Beckham? He just comes across as extremely clingy and mentally, not all there. He also seems to be trying to replicate his parents weird relationship dynamic. Prior to his marriage, was just hopping from relationship to relationship and making these over the top declarations of love to his girlfriends of the time (Chloe Moretz, Hana Cross). He does not seem to have any friends outside of his brothers either and everyone who attended his wedding was friends of his parents. With his now wife, he has 5 or 6 tattoos dedicated to her including her dead grandmothers name who he did not even meet. They also did an interview prior to their wedding which he admitted that he gets extremely jealous and the last time he was jealous was just an hour ago? His response was telling too “It is what it is. If you get jealous it means you love her.” Possessiveness ≠ love. Please do a video, he and a lot of individuals I’ve seen in person who displays these behaviours (including ex friends) gives me the ick.

@imjustagirl

2 жыл бұрын

Yeah I'd like to see a video on this. I've noticed that too.

@shallonlester

2 жыл бұрын

I've heard all of these things about him, that Nicola was super creeped out and wanted to get away from him. I was shocked when they got engaged and that's a really good/lame point about him having no friends. Maybe that's the topic--when a guy has no friends?

@FlipFlopped

2 жыл бұрын

@@shallonlester yeah please, that and possibly the pathology of people who cannot maintain relationships or just clingers? (Romantic or platonic) She does not seem interested in him at all, she’s more interested in the camera than him and she just looked repulsed when he was slobbering all over her at the met gala

@joannawinters6592

2 жыл бұрын

Omg! What a creep!

@imjustagirl

2 жыл бұрын

@@FlipFlopped he even took her last name! It's peltz-beckham.

Sorry if this is weird to say haha. But i watch your videos while working out😅 It feels like a pep talk for getting my life together and i love it. 😍😍😍Motivates me more than music!!

Your laugh at autocorrect is so contagious! I just can’t stop giggling. You have the best laugh. Thank you, Shallon ❤️

Jealousy.. both the draw, in the beginning- he loves me SOOOO much and it’s so flattering. And it’s also the demise. It becomes suffocating.

Especially as women without financial freedom we are FUCKED. Thank you for not sugar coating it. I wish you had been my mom. 🥺 thank you for empowering young women.

I was thinking about exactly what you said about Alexis while watching the show. Someone would have been forced to be with her if Hunter didn’t propose. Cause that’s what happened to April and Colby. They were the last two left that didn’t get picked so they were automatically together.

SHALLON YOUR CHEEKBONES OMG 😵 I'm _so_ excited for your weight loss video.

Personally I don’t find Alexis to be the hot girl type. I think most dudes similar to Colby,arnt into girls like Alexis. Her face is just not plain enough. It’s very prominent and I noticed most guys like Colby don’t always go for the hottest girl in the room anyway,a lot of times they go for the Meredith and in this show that seems to be Madilyn.

Financial freedom is important. if I have a man of course he has to pay for stuff and make my life easier. But I should be able to stand on my own two feet with or without him. Most men enjoy providing and taking care of their women

Yea, in my experience it escalates. It’s a tricky line, to show you’re unbothered but it does also kind of show that you’re accepting of the behaviour. Much better to just leave. And yes, also the controlled reaction or no reaction drives these types mad. They will think you’re seeing someone else in my experience.z

Love the way your brain works. I wish I knew woman irl that can intellectualize like you....you make accountability strong af. I think this way too 😊

Ultimatums never work with me. I’m way too much of a stubborn asshole to give into that shit.

I am in my early thirties and i am dealing with this fear - i can’t lose a guy cuz he is probably my last chance to settle my love life and start a family. Does anyone else deal with this? How you guys make yourself stop spiraling into that pattern “he is my last chance”?

@cct306

2 жыл бұрын

Last chance at 30's? You just have to talk to older people finding love at 50, 60 ! Even being that older, they get 20 or more years to be with their love partner

@ab5365

2 жыл бұрын

I feel you girl. The same in here.

@electril__l

2 жыл бұрын

@@cct306 yea that is a good advice:) thanks .

@RA-qv3nd

2 жыл бұрын

No man is your last chance. No one is perfect but you can’t settle just because you feel your time is running out. You won’t be alone. Everything works out in given time.

Yeah my ex was a narc and he would say he wasn’t attracted to me at the exact wrong points just to provoke me .. it’s a real thing

I just love the way you speak

I'm glad I wasn't the only one who caught the Narc vibes from Colby; I didn't hear any other reviews bring that up.

I need to make a comment about Nate and I can’t believe no one on the show or even at the reunion really noticed or called him out on this,also don’t really understand how him and Lauren just kind of faded into oblivion and their problems were never really talked about or worked on again. But anyway I saw right away that Nate is deeply insecure and his ego was destroyed when girl after girl that he wanted and probably thought wanted him chose every guy BUT Him. He was running out of options and didn’t wanna look like the undesirable one.i think he was sweating cats and dogs and when he saw hunter propose to Alexis I think a light bulb moment happened and that was his way of saving himself the humiliation and embarrassment he was feeling. So he stole hunters idea and ran with it. It was so painfully obvious to me and idk how no one else on that show called him out for it(none of them even seemed to realize that’s what it was) and then his over the top reaction when everyone was questioning what was going on screamed even more “I’m deeply insecure about myself” all I saw all over his face was panic,he was the definition of a beta male,raising his voice trying to cosplay as a alpha but any truly confident person can see right through that facade. I was actually more surprised by how “bad ass Lauren or at least that’s how she liked to make people think she was” she didn’t hesitate or hold his feet to the fire even a little bit,she was just like absolutely! Even though their problems were probably the hardest to compromise out of any of the other couples. Yet they both just acted like the elephant wasn’t even in the room. Sad that she couldn’t see he would’ve said yes had ANY girl said his name,he chose her because I think In that moment he realized and felt that she was the only one he could get and he would rather look like the guy who took himself off the market then the guy who no one wanted. She was basically his safety net not his true choice

I love you so much shallon! Your videos ALWAYS teach me something but this one hit the most because I handle things the exact same way, but you also gave me pointers on future situations. You're the best and I'm so glad I started watching your videos!!! I feel like I'm really talking to my bestie, love it! 😁🖤

You look amazing!

Colby is a covert narc 100%. I saw this from day 1. when she was so into Jessica and future faking her real hard. The blond chick simply wasn't his target and needed to assert control over her, these covert narcs know where it hurts. When he failed to take any responsibility for his actions of texting other women and gaslit the poor girl for doing it for herself, it was her right reaction to be spinning. It's exactly what a narc does and the minute she said yes and he dragged her to marry now she has a baby is very cover narcy too to lock down the victim and knock her up so she won't be able to leave. Yes, the girl is a mess and drinks a lot but covert narcs have soft spots for addicts actually. What a textbook case.

I wouldn’t ever reveal your boyfriends if I were you. I’m 67 and truly enjoy your videos. I’ve been through much of what you talk about and I know the end story and results. Believe me when I say, you’ve got a fan base of many jealous women. Some women love a competition. Ego.

Okay but can we get an advice on how to deal with OTHERS being jealous of you and being spiteful?

Wow!!! You have never looked better. Absolutely gorg!!!

Love is blind was tough but this series..geezz !!

I think Alexis reacted like that to Colby because his girlfriend wasn’t that attractive BUT I don’t think he found Alexis physically unattractive just her attitude unattractive

@guk1260

2 жыл бұрын

Really? I think Alexis was clearly the least attractive there… Not to be Bodyshaming But I had to Laugh when she Said: and everybody can see my sexy Body. Eventhough she had a weird crooked body and her Face looked Kind of off… like there was something not right with her

Great hair!!

Hi love, love, love that you hate Madeline too… She had such an ego on her, especially the girls night dinner

you look great shallon💕

Shallon you look so pretty!🥰

🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 Love you!!

Also love the tiger shirt! What museum??

@shallonlester

2 жыл бұрын

Museum of the Rockies here in Montana :D We have the most complete T Rex in the world!

@mmps18

2 жыл бұрын

@@shallonlester thanks I'll go meet the rex and get a cool shirt too 😁

40:01

I'm not jealous i just would broke up with a person with he flirted with another 😌

You're beautiful Shallon! 😍

YOU NEED TO PAY FOR YOUR MANS WAY SHALLON BECAUSE YOU MAKE TRUCKLOADS OF MONEY

if you’re not breastfeeding, birthing, cooking etc… y’a better provide at least 🤣🤣🤣 I thought like you Shallon before kids. One of you in the relationship needs to take on the childcare or both sacrifice at the expense of their career. Cheryl Sandberg in lean in got a stay at home dad pretty much so she could focus on her demanding career. My sis as well. Never thought I’d be a SAHM, but life changes and you adjust! Kids take a lot so I can’t imagine juggling my career and twins. 😅 And as the lower earner in our power couple dynamic, it’s me. Lol Women that want a provider usually have a reason for it other than being a “princess”… they know they won’t have the time for it to be a mom and juggle a career successfully. The alternative is to marry a stay at home dad… idk maternal instincts too high here 😂 if I have to birth and breastfeed, I might as well do it all. 🤷‍♀️

Bro I be telling this all the time to all my friends who want to b a stay at home mom while the guy pays for everything. Like wats gonna happen if he cheats or leaves u. Ur fucked. Stuck in a house that HE bought. A car HE bought. Ur literally stuck.