I have used a little trick for years that has helped me engage people who I meet that I don't yet know. And it revolves around a tennis metaphor.
I love tennis, having grown up playing it. And I take a principle from the tennis court into those moments when I am interacting with someone new. Truth is that happens an awful lot in our lives. Whether it's a new business prospect, or someone you meet at a networking event, or even a new teammate.
A tennis can comes with three balls in it. You can't play the game of tennis without those. And you can't have a successful conversation with a new person without being willing to knock a "conversation ball" (that's what I call them) across the net. I'm watching to see what they do with it. Do they hit it back? Is there a desire within them to engage? Or does the conversation starter simply bounce past them against the fence?
If that happens, I'll knock a second "conversation ball" over the net, in hopes that they will want to "play" and return it.
Conversations are by nature two-way activities. You can't have a conversation by yourself. You need someone else to be willing to engage and knock the "conversation ball" back to you.
So my tip is to always have some "conversation starters" in my pocket, and to be the one willing to go first, to hit it across the net, and to watch what happens. I have discovered rich conversations are in store for those who come curious and prepared.
More in this 2 minute leadership reflection video.