One thing I would add: I think that even if you’ve been kind of a pathetic mess with a guy, if you really ice him out and stick to your guns and a new (predetermined) strategy, you can still win the war. It’s always when you feel over a guy that he comes crawling back. Even if you lost a couple of battles, remember the end game- maybe you’ll find that you won something better than him...

@shirin9452

3 жыл бұрын

LOL this gives me hope, I want so badly to be an ice queen to my ex (my version of which would be friends but generally unbothered by what he’s doing), but he is my first love and I always break down after a few weeks of trying to be friends and show how hurt I am that we couldn’t make it work. To his credit, he’s always acknowledged that he feels the same and is just as sad, but I just want to be graceful and disinterested. So hearing this helps. I’m gathering strength and slowly moving on and hopefully soon I can assume the ice queen demeanor I deserve 😂😂

@blj1523

3 жыл бұрын

I think what helps is having a small arsenal of women who can empathize and help you move forward. It’s a balance between a public spectacle and repression. It’s conscious mourning so either way you win because you get over him either way and can make a conscious decision if he comes back. If he doesn’t, you are now over him.

@shirin9452

3 жыл бұрын

@@blj1523 I totally agree with you but all my friends are out of state 😭 And my ex was also my best friend (before dating). So it really is a bit hard :( Also, he’s definitely not coming back, the whole reason we didn’t make it is because of his insane, same-race-and-religion-only family, and we both didn’t want me to be trapped like that. So it’s good if he doesn’t come back, and he won’t. I just need to realize that I’m better off being set free than being trapped into his family, but he’s my first love and I’ve never felt as loved and protected as with him. It sucks. I would absolutely be doing better if my friends were around, though. I wouldn’t miss him nearly as much.

@salamander8301

3 жыл бұрын

Itslike they have some kind of homing device that pings when a woman becones apathetic towards them.

@shallonlester

3 жыл бұрын

YES YES YES. If anything, it's MORE radical and earth-shaking when suddenly...after he THINKS he knows exactly how you'll react...to shake that up and ice him? DAMN. Lulling an enemy into a false sense of security is an amazing tactic. Of course, it's better to win battles AND the war, but it's never too late to choose strategy versus desperation.

The Queen Elizabeth quote : "To do nothing, to say nothing is the hardest job of all. It requires every ounce of energy that we have." (THE CROWN S3E6)

@shallonlester

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you!!!!

@kyliewilson2911

3 жыл бұрын

Never cast pearls before swine....

@575leena

Жыл бұрын

I keep coming back to this quote!

Exactly! My dad always said a man will walk a thousand miles for a woman that he loves.

@Mikey-mb6lb

3 жыл бұрын

LOOOOOOL he surely did when he embarrassed his wife publicly!

@missminti

3 жыл бұрын

And then, when once he has had his fill, he will promptly replace her with the next conquest. Grand gestures mean nothing. Consistency and loyalty over time is all that matters.

@adrianeelise3849

3 жыл бұрын

@@missminti lmao

@Mikey-mb6lb

3 жыл бұрын

@@missminti exactly! Consistency with loyalty and commitment is quiet, this cheater was loud and currently is still publicly chatting bs.

@nyckidd6004

3 жыл бұрын

Only a dump would do that

So true. My ex cheated on me but I didn’t put him on blast, I didn’t swear at him or scream or anything. I just broke up with him and he never heard from me again. 10 years and a failed marriage later, he is in my DM’s asking for a second chance, saying I was the one that got away🤣🤣🤣 I never responded and never will but DAMN it feels good to know I won😂😂😂

@jjm8224

3 жыл бұрын

👏👏👏

@feliciaboston6365

2 жыл бұрын

I'm disgusted that he thought he could get married and come back like yuck . Probably got her pregnant, fked her so many times then wants to come back

Love this Shallon quote: "Mystery is your greatest weapon." It's true it will always leave him and everyone else second guessing what you've been up too.

@clairelicciardo6198

3 жыл бұрын

Absolutely! There were some gems in here another one about "The truth will set you free" and the insanity of it on planet Earth. Yessssss!

@rochegold7060

2 жыл бұрын

Me going to strategize my social media.

I'd rather be with someone who doesn't step out in the first place.

@nope_no_nunya.

3 жыл бұрын

Exactly.

@carmensandiego4270

3 жыл бұрын

Exactly! I couldn’t go back , ESPECIALLY with a public humiliation like this

I hate being negative towards the woman more than the man... but I will NEVER understand taking a man back who has hurt me deeply and embarrassed me. Not enough love in the world. I lose so much respect for women who not only want a man like that back.. but take them back with open arms. Could never be me. Have some self-respect and leave him, sis.

@walkthemoon6533

3 жыл бұрын

I would only do this if I had much more to gain being with him than alone or with someone else, I mean, gain more than what I had before he left

@ishmerveille1733

3 жыл бұрын

I'm sure she's thinking about their kid but that guy he's so stupid 🤦‍♀️

@Meeounn

3 жыл бұрын

Honey, it's money. Alimony/child support checks can be decent but it will always be less than just staying together.

@winstonchurchill571

3 жыл бұрын

Like Khloe Kardaschia, she started a big fight agains Jordin to take bach a cheater with multiple baby mamas. I really don't respect this woman, zero dignity.

@krissysherrell6625

3 жыл бұрын

If you had a baby with someone, you are stuck with them for life. Not 18 years, for life. Having a baby is a larger commitment than marriage. Marriage can be done in divorce court or a well written prenup. A child needs a relationship with both parents and may be many situations where you need to both be there.

I’ve used this exact method based on Shallons previous videos. Works every time. I ice them out and keep it moving. Business as usual except hyper speed in the personal growth department. (Without any added social media attention.) Works every time. Except sometimes I realize I don’t even want them anymore. Lol

@KDGG97

3 жыл бұрын

I’ve applied it since I was 15 and it hasnt failed, ever, not even ONCE 💃🏼 I’m 24 btw

@omphilemoerane2569

3 жыл бұрын

Right. It's not even flattering that a person wants you only when they no longer have access to you. That's the turn off.

@klddere3734

3 жыл бұрын

It works till you start giving him attention then he will be gone again. Happens every time. Not worth it

"You act in chaos, you get chaos. You act in strategy, you get results for what you want in life" ... I need to frame this

I would rather mop the ocean floor than take back a man who publicly cheated on me.

@Lauren_22613

3 жыл бұрын

Lol yes!!! Love this analogy!

This is the best advice you have given. If we just stopped giving these kind of people attention and sex they will leave us alone. I have a good boyfriend but it took a lot of self love and self respect that I needed to learn to attract that.

I found out he was messing with other girls while stringing me along. For the record he always talked about taking me to dubai (his birth city) so the first thing I did was go on a month long trip there without telling him anything. He found out from social media. When I got back home he absolutely spammed my phone. I only answered him one month later on my birthday pretending I didn’t know this was his number. I was friendly enough like we were never more than friends. Mutual friends say he is absolutely broken. That was 2 years ago. I owe it to my girl Shallon who turned me from girl next door to the badass that I am today.

@klddere3734

3 жыл бұрын

Dating an arab guy, what did you expect....

LEGIT advice! I have been icing guys out since i was 18. i'm 40 now.......THEY ALWAYS COME BACK! EVERY. SINGLE. TIME!

@KDGG97

3 жыл бұрын

Done it since I was 15, almost 10 years later, has never failed 💃🏼

@shallonlester

3 жыл бұрын

They ALWAYS come back. If you play it right, it's just this endless cavalcade of "I still love you 🥺" until the day god takes us.

Shallon, you have a true gift for crafting an argument that’s grounded in pragmatism and wrapped up in tools for growth and self-empowerment. Wish this channel had been around when I was in my 20s! 🙂🙂

@shallonlester

3 жыл бұрын

Wow, thank you ❤️❤️❤️❤️ (don't worry when you were in your 20s I was learning all this the hardest of hard ways 🥴)

It's crazy how consistently Shallon posts videos. That really takes dedication and self discipline 👌I love that.

@RomyElizabeth

3 жыл бұрын

mad respect!! ❤️

@sw-hg8eq

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah, I don't care about the celebrities. I am here to learn from Shallon's work ethics,

YOUR IMPRESSION OF PRINCE CHARLES 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

This remind me of when Bella was silent and living her best life while The Weekend went on to date Selena. It’s the moment I gained even more respect for Bella and lost all for Selena. And didn’t The Weekend slither back to Bella after him and Selena broke up??? I love this advice 😎

@lynninfinite

3 жыл бұрын

Well that relationship between Selena and The Weeknd was fake and for PR lol. Abel looked genuinely happy when he got back with Bella

Future hooking up with Larsa to spite Scotty is the level of revenge I aspire to have 😂

@celinectg7136

3 жыл бұрын

That’s what men would do… but what women would do to reach the same level of revenge? Using sex doesn’t have the same effect… hope you see what I mean 🙂

@walkthemoon6533

3 жыл бұрын

@@celinectg7136 steal the man for real, make him fall in love

@notpraveeen

3 жыл бұрын

That's a tough act to follow 😂

@maybug88

3 жыл бұрын

It comes naturally if you're a Scorpio 😈

@caityvalentine

3 жыл бұрын

Long con

It’s all fun and games until they leave you AGAIN for someone else. When someone shows you who they are believe them.

@user-br3eo6xs8v

9 ай бұрын

Preach

I learned over the years not to go back to a guy, because I can never love him or trust him the way I did before, and I just prolong the inevitable breakup

"Clapping when the plane lands! The Whisper Goose who wants a kidney." I laughed so hard that I had to pull over (was listening over the speaker in my car)!

My boyfriend is very shy and has bad social anxiety, but he came after me harder than I've ever seen him come after anything! Also, he's a bit younger and actually more mature than all the older guys I ever dated. Good guys can be older, good guys can be younger, and shitty guys don't mature with age.

@khatreh3735

3 жыл бұрын

*Shitty guys don't mature with age* The accuracy of this phrase...

They come crawling back no matter what you do is my experience. Walking away with dignity in silence does work faster though.

That good old saying ‘the one who cares the least has the most power’. Even if it’s pretending.

I can’t believe this content is free. THANK YOU SHALLON🥳💕

@lauraj8913

3 жыл бұрын

Honestly. I love her so much

My boyfriend of 2 years just broke up with me completely out of nowhere so this is exactly what I’m doing. Completely ice cold until he realizes what he’s missing. Thank you Shallon! 😘

@MindyBeee

3 жыл бұрын

He did you a favour.

@mistym0rning

3 жыл бұрын

If he broke up with you out of nowhere, I wouldn’t even plan on making him miss you and realize his mistake. You are worth so much more than someone who blindsides you. He probably had some sort of issues going on or not sure if he’s ready to settle down or whatever, but never spoke up about it until the very final moment where he dropped a bombshell on you. This is a sign of extreme lack of consideration and respect for you. Anyway, you do you, of course 😌 and whatever is best for you. I’m just saying, whatever you decide to do now should be in the interest of healing yourself and doing things that are making yourself better & stronger - not to make him crawling back. ✨

@JustForBelle12

3 жыл бұрын

@@mistym0rning Wow this is so well said and exactly what I needed to hear ❤️

@valeriesomers296

3 жыл бұрын

Update?

@JustForBelle12

3 жыл бұрын

@@valeriesomers296 Turns out he came right back a month later realizing what he lost and I took the time to grow as an individual without him. We are now together but so much stronger because of it

I’m a pretty girl with aspergers and im so blessed you are here, I couldn’t understand so many things that have happened when men chased me, and what I should have thought or done to protect myself because I’m very easy to get taken advantage of by toxic Narcissist, almost married one and ran for the hills hé became abuse. I thought I was going to just be alone because I didn’t understand the relationship aspect or social interactions well enough. Thank you

@Yourmomma160

3 жыл бұрын

Same here

@walkthemoon6533

3 жыл бұрын

I don't have aspergers but I guess I am just too innocent... I feel ya

@katherinechase3674

3 жыл бұрын

I know a woman with this at work. Be very careful! The woman I am referring to is extremely gullible, not just in romantic relationships, but on all levels. Her opinions wildly change from one direction to the next, (ex. politically) which leaves her open to getting taken advantage of.

One of your best videos and it didn’t really end up being about getting your man back but about self control and dignity 👍🏻

@shallonlester

3 жыл бұрын

It's funny how they're inextricably related. We think that to get someone back, we have to sacrifice ourselves, to just drown in someone else. Actually the opposite is true. When we pull back--which is so hard and seems to antithetical to instinct--amazing things happen. Either they realize our value OR we realize our own value. Either way, we win.

@sharonchepkorir3571

3 жыл бұрын

@@shallonlester Either way we win👏🏾

My bf dumped me via text. First I was in shock. Called him, but after that humiliating evening I didn't do anything. I wrote him a letter but only in my journal. After 3 months he came back. That was 4 years ago. He still apologizes for the brake up. Trust in Shallons war plan!

I hope she doesn't take him back.

Handling the break up in the moment has been key for me. With the last guy I dated, we were breaking up and I made myself stay calm, listen to him without interrupting, thanked him for being honest and told him I loved our time together but agreed it was time to let each other go. Then, I did not reach out to him in an way. A few months later, he was back (though I did not take him back). People show who they are during the break up, if you can be calm, poised and respectful during that awful moment, he is going to regret losing you.

I can not get enough of that beautiful hair color. YOU LOOK STUNNING

@shallonlester

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much!!

@MindyBeee

3 жыл бұрын

Getting lighter to go back blonde???

Yes, silence is the key... that’s why my ex came back and dumped the girl he was with for me.

@shallonlester

3 жыл бұрын

Yes. It'll do more than any words ever can. For guys especially, silence is deadly. They absolutely can't handle it. There's no viciousness or kindness that can possibly do what 0 words can.

@Rose-gv9ff

3 жыл бұрын

@@shallonlester 👏 it sure does! 🤐

@LA-gh3mi

3 жыл бұрын

@@shallonlester I swear it makes them regress back to their childhood when mummy did the same, it freaks them out, it's like an emotional 'timeout'😬

@MindyBeee

3 жыл бұрын

I wouldn't take his ass back...not for a second!

@shmooboogieharper748

3 жыл бұрын

@@isaura-22 why do you think that is? What makes them remember the good when your silent vs remembering the good if you talk here and there and arnt on bad terms?

When a woman begs for an abuser, she shows her LACK of self-love and self-respect. Work on yourselves ladies...! ❤

I don’t know who either of these people are but he’s clearly a narcissist hoovering his ex

@ThokoTwala

3 жыл бұрын

What does hoovering mean?

@michellebh

3 жыл бұрын

@@ThokoTwala it’s a common manipulation tactic of narcissists, where they try to suck you back into a relationship after discarding or treating you poorly. It’s not sincere, and the victim will inevitably be discarded/abused again once the hoover is successful

@ThokoTwala

3 жыл бұрын

@@michellebh Thought as much, had a guy who wouldn’t commit do the same to me. I acted strategically & iced him. He came back begging then he just returned to his old ways.

@michellebh

3 жыл бұрын

@@ThokoTwala I hope you’re free of him now!

@ThokoTwala

3 жыл бұрын

@@michellebh Aw you’re so sweet🙂. It’s been a year of no contact and I’m not planning on contacting him again🙂

Me waiting for Shallon’s bullet points of Olivia Rodrigo’s album in what not to do. 😅😂 Olivia and Taylor, how to scare a guy away!

@euricequeen842

3 жыл бұрын

Yes!!!!

@stephq4008

3 жыл бұрын

@yassi jass that is because Taylor now is completely different to the Taylor Shallon criticised. Taylor now doesn't write about people she dates, and doesn't talk publicly about the guy anymore. She’s far less messy.

@karlalopez4748

3 жыл бұрын

@yassi jass I know that, but if you see how different Taylor has worked with this relationship vs her old ones. This relationship is different.

@Jujulianap

3 жыл бұрын

At least she’s probably rich now. My breakups didn’t make me earn anything 🤣

This is exactly how I got my ex crawling back to me... ICE COLD. Guys can’t handle that. Had I behaved like a pathetic and desperate nut, I would’ve pushed him away and never gotten him back - for sure. Now the other question is, if it was a good thing to take him back, but well, I guess we all learn from our mistakes.🤪

@mushkamishka

3 жыл бұрын

He was cruel not only to her but to their child too. I couldn't forgive him. Malik showed his true colors.

@HankiMaus

3 жыл бұрын

@@mushkamishka I 100% agree with you.

Sorry 😂😂😂 dying “Why is she sending me a picture of her but hole, I’m at work?” 😂😂😂😂😂. I really am here for Shallon’s comedy

@ploomskin5509

3 жыл бұрын

I died.

@kyliewilson2911

3 жыл бұрын

So funny i burst out laughing when I head that so random but so Shallon 😂😂😂

Why get someone who cheated on you and left you without money and kicked you out if the house with your child? Please get some self love and confidence and walk away! Let him learn the hard way 😖 Larsa didn’t lose anything, she just had fun 🤩 I don’t blame her. She is single can do what she wants.

@kiuk_kiks

3 жыл бұрын

Larsa is a mess. Imagine being passed around among men and thinking that it’s empowering.

@JaZmine147

3 жыл бұрын

@yassi jass desperation ain't sexy though

@agathachris9722

3 жыл бұрын

Exactly.

@kiuk_kiks

3 жыл бұрын

@yassi jass 4th wave feminists are so delusional. You’ll call anything empowering provided it make you feel good. A homie-hopping fe male isn’t empowered. Being used to produce the male orgasm isn’t empowering either, even though you get paid for it.

@maverickbull1909

3 жыл бұрын

@yassi jass she is passed around because she’s Scottie pippens Ex and a wannabe kardashian. She’s a desperate groupie, almost 50, mom of 5 who sleeps with married 20 year olds. Get a clue

Shallon you are right. When Prince William was dating Catherine and he dumped her, she did nothing and even was seen going out with her sister having a fab time. And a few months later he came back!

Wish I saw this a week ago! Entering ice mode 🥶

@shallonlester

3 жыл бұрын

It's never too late to ice. It's never too late for strategic cruelty 🔥

Sorry but I will never fight for anyone.. once that trust is broken you can never truly repair it. Sorry to say, it's better that they leave forever. There are plenty of other experiences in the world that are more worthy of my time and effort.

@salsa_baby7148

3 жыл бұрын

How do u get that self control? Like not think about it and just make urself be like too bad we’re over it bc it’s not something I deserve I can put distance but I break down in silence for way too long idk how to move on from some fucked up shit they put me thru and I dotn think anyone can understand bc it was so fucked up

@florentina9118

3 жыл бұрын

@@salsa_baby7148 for me as an example, if someone doesn't respect me I see it as a threat to my existence. I mean I'm an introvert and I don't find myself superior, but I won't let someone else shame my 30 years of existence and disrespect my power&struggles. During my lifetime I learned that everytime I forgiven betrayal and disrespect it bounced back until I faced agressivenes and weakened my health. Such a waste.... One's bad habits are a lifestyle, it never changes, just grows.

@sparklyunicorn5431

3 жыл бұрын

@@salsa_baby7148 I'm sorry hun, that's awful someone hurt you that way. I think focusing on your healing, and protecting your spirit from further harm can be enough motivation to break away from them. Through experience I learned this tough lesson. People will never change because we want them to. Believe who they are when they SHOW you who they are. Nothing good ever came of giving people second chances after cheating or betrayal. It is best to let God take them out of our lives. Don't fight it. Do it for your own wellbeing

@Jujulianap

3 жыл бұрын

Yesss 🙌🏻

@katherinechase3674

3 жыл бұрын

@@florentina9118 that's super smart, props!

My dad left my mom randomly a few years ago and said he was moving out to a hotel to figure it out, etc. My mom gave him about a month (while leaving him alone aside from house/kid business). Then hit him with - I want divorce papers and my alimony sorted my xmas (about two months away). I have trips to plan, I'm going to sort out where to move. Meet with your lawyer and sort it out, let me know so I can plan. He was back home that weekend begging for a talk and apologizing that he didn't want to leave.

@omphilemoerane2569

3 жыл бұрын

Lol he didn't want to pay alimony😂

@squreshi8413

3 жыл бұрын

Never let a man separate. Its divorce without him having to pay. My dad tried this.... nah uh. Divorce. Pay child support and alimony. Or get in line. You still get child support and alimony if u r the one to file I believe. So they better live in fear if they are the type to love money more than their own mothers (my literal dad).

@michellete8545

3 жыл бұрын

Lol she should have gone through with it, ridiculous man and he didn’t magically change his mind just because she called out his ass. I guess they could discuss what is going bad in this marriage and try to fix it but based on his childish way of how he handled things I wouldn’t bother. Her decision of course it’s her marriage not mine 😆

@katherinechase3674

3 жыл бұрын

@@squreshi8413 depends on the state (here in the U.S.). In California, you must be married a minimum of two years to receive alimony. Then, alimony received is half the time of the marriage total. The amount of alimony depends on income discrepancy. So, the income matters, the gender does not. With child support, the same rules apply, sans 2 year time minimum, adding in amount of consistent time spent with the child. The average child support awarded in California in $225! Yikes!

“I wAnT a KiDnEy” 🎶 I’m dead lol

During my most recent heartbreak, I wrote in my notes anything I wanted to say to the guy when I was feeling the urge to text him. I also planned out responses to him for when he reaches out again. On top of that, I have dove into learning about my attachment style, narcissism, early red flags in a relationship, and created a list of my needs I’ll require in the next relationship I’m in.

Girl, t’s the makeup and the hair for me💕 You go queen 💃🏻you look gooorgeous.

@shallonlester

3 жыл бұрын

🤗

Abraham Lincoln said that, "better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt" Another beautifully timed video.. need to brush up my strategy, thank lovely 😍

@cassandrasunday2141

3 жыл бұрын

Thanks*

Dude... Hailey was not being mysterious at all. She liked multiple tweets and photos on IG that shaded Justins ex’s. And in public, she would often look upset.... LMAOOOOO

This gold brown color looks on much better on you than the red imo, and it goes perfectly with your backdrop :)

Ladiesss!! Listen to Shallon shes sooooo right!! I remember two years ago I fell for this guy HARD and I remember I broke up with him bc he was being really inconsistent and when I did he literally kept me on READ. He didn’t even reply!! But he posted on his story the next day that he’s going out with his friends. I was so devastated but I kept my dignity, showed no emotions, kept my mouth shut and just lived my normal life. Fast forward to now, he still DMs me and calls me multiple times wanting me back and even admitted how wrong he was for treating me like he did and admitted his mistakes and all that shit. I just ignore it cuz I’m genuinely over him and moved on 🤷🏻‍♀️ but it’s crazy how the tables have turned. Trust me, staying silent is the best move you can make and you might not see results immediately but you will eventually and it’s SO SO worth it! Now he keeps chasing me but I’m literally not even interested so he’s pretty much just talking to himself in my DMs 😅

@chiaradimarco7303

3 жыл бұрын

I love this for you 💁🏼‍♀️

This video is one of the truest videos I have seen on youtube in a long time. It really does work. Men always want what they think they can not have, just make yourself that nonchalant woman that doesn't want him, his attitude will change. Great video Shallon!

Can confirm- this absolutely works. Even if your name has been dragged through the mud as a result. Being the less messy person always pays dividends long term. Just need to wade through the short term

YES, SOMEONE NAILED IT ABOUT OLIVIA. I love Olivia's music, her songs are absolute bops, incredible singer without any autotune, she seems very nice in interviews and God, haven't we all been there with a man? But I could not imagine her ex regretting his decisions when he sees just that insane outpour of emotion, forever knowing he has that grip over her. Silence is so so so key!

The movie “He’s Just Not That Into You” has the best line! If a guy (or gal) acts like they don’t give a shit they truly don’t give a shit. I wish i had realized this years ago because it would have saved me years of being an emotional punching bag. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I don't think Montana should take him back. I can't emphasize enough that actions speak louder than words. None of this should be publicized and I'm embarrassed for this woman. This is your baby's father. Think about this for a second. 😬

Shallon is 100% right as usual. I followed this advice from her when my first love ended things last year & after 8 months of dead silence & non-reaction from me, he reached out begging for me back. Now I'm moving to his city for work & he's obsessed with me. He has done a complete 180-- he even sent me a gift when I got the job!

Shallon, this is SO TRUE!! "Mystery is your greatest weapon. The truth is the most useless, ridiculous weapon that anyone could have in their arsenal for anything on planet Earth.”

I just really love that in youtube's chapters for the video, it has "7:05, Family Over Thing" 😂

Your ability to make these videos in one take, actually give the BEST advice and be effortlessly funny... Is a talent I could only wish for.

Your advice is always so spot on. I had to drop somebody recently and it hurt like hell, but I fr deserve so much more. I’ve worked too hard to be the best me to deal with a subpar him.

@shallonlester

3 жыл бұрын

SUPBAR HIM. Oh my god. Yes. When we're working on ourselves, and not just seeing but FEELING the 24/7 results of our own efforts, suddenly fixing some dipshit who absolutely does NOT want to be fixed...its so much less enticing. It's like cooking a gourmet meal for a possum.

Cheating on her and leaving his family is awful, but publicly humiliating her is ATROCIOUS. The only time I can condone taking back a cheater is if you are plotting your revenge by publicly leaving his ass for another man, a la J.Lo.

Also Kate Middleton played the ice card when William dumped her

@corvettedm1

3 жыл бұрын

A perfect example!

@shallonlester

3 жыл бұрын

YES! I forgot about that. Imagine the fortitude it takes to ice a PRINCE. I'd be like "hello here's my entire identity, SSN, nudes, mom's credit card, dad's kidney, what else would you like while you still have a title AND hair? It's yours."

@omphilemoerane2569

3 жыл бұрын

@@shallonlester 😂😂😂 same!

@joaneustaquio4786

3 жыл бұрын

dead 💀

I play the chorus of Vanilla Ice "Ice Ice Baby" in my head when confronted with those kind of tough moments

@joaneustaquio4786

3 жыл бұрын

Lmao

I froze my ex out when he dumped me after 9 years together and it’s almost 7 years later and I’m married to the love of my life and the ex had a meltdown when he found out I got married...he recently emailed me about having to sell the house we once shared and I got a long spiel about his financial woes and that was when I figured it out- he looks back on our relationship so often because I represented a time when he was at his most stable- emotionally, physically and financially. He didn’t appreciate at the time how much I did for him until I wasn’t there to do it all for him. No regrets on my side of this story but there’s a little bit of justice felt ;)

This reminds me of when you say people won’t remember what you say, just how you made them feel

Listen to shallon 🤣 I texted him “I miss you”because I thought putting my feelings out there would make him change his mind. Guess what, he left me on seen LMAO

@JaZmine147

3 жыл бұрын

Been there, done that too. Keep your head up. Them b*tches always come back when no one cares anymore.

@valeriaviteri6235

3 жыл бұрын

update he unfollowed me from insta :( i blocked him from snap and blocked him on whatsapp i guess it is over

@summer8291

3 жыл бұрын

@@valeriaviteri6235 unblock him and just live your life.

@valeriaviteri6235

3 жыл бұрын

@@summer8291 yeah that’s what I did, I just need time so I can heal:( and work on myself

@hurryupnow1

3 жыл бұрын

Dont be sad. Let go completly. He prob has someone else

A few months in I wanted clarity on my 'situationship ' with a guy. One night at his place after a pulling teeth conversation to finally address the dynamic, I just left. He told me wild and quite convincing stories of all his past pain in relationships. All that to say he wanted to have everything from me with no title... still. So I just acknowledged that we were not on the same page and left that night. Calm and composed. It was now past midnight . He was shocked that I wouldn't JUST sleep over. The old me would have, just to ease the pain of the reality. But the new me was sickened at the idea that I let this man clown me any further with kind lies. Later, I DID get him back. And like Shallon says...you're not done till you're done. Well. Months later I got real done. Took a lot of lessons from the whole experience though! Great advice: go silent and get a whole life so you don't have to pretend on social!

Just to make anyone watching this video feel better about their situation- I know this video is still relevant because I watched it when it came out and I’m back again because of this guy who broke up things with me. Today i understand it more and currently applying it. The breakup is where you set the tone and that will speed things up as to him coming back. If you ask too much questions, if you’re looking for closure, if you’re trying to find out if there’s any chance of getting back together it will blow your “ice cold cover”. In that conversation I remained calm, cold, understanding. I didn’t say anything that implied how I felt that moment (which was horrible), I didn’t let him know I wanted I second chance. I LET HIM GO. All I said was “I accept you’re decision, I’m sure you’ve been thinking about it for a while, therefore it is finale. From now on this is yours to deal with. “ Boom, bye. He then became very confused and looked like he’s second guessing this whole thing. He literally go up from the bench we were sitting on and looked to the side and under his breath said “I have a feeling it’s not the last time we’d see eachother….” I literally said I don’t understand what’s the confusion is about, he made his decision so what’s the deal now and I made it clear we’re never ever making this into a casual-sex thing and that was it. He’ll be back. It was couple days ago but i have experience with this type of situation, and if you already read a book and you know the ending all you need to do is wait 😉 Don’t be fools babes! Being ice cold is taking away every drop of your energy but it’s worth it.

"Nothing destroys a crush like data" 🖤🖤🖤

@heatherkline749

3 жыл бұрын

Facts!

“You are an Emotional Warlord,” BRAVO, Shallon❣️💫✨ This is BY FAR, the BEST advice & vid for us!!! You are so right about having indifference!! Ice ice, baby ❄️❄️❄️

O M G did you see the stories on insta where they TAGGED EACH OTHER, montana even posted a before and after face of Larsa💀. And then Larsa responded creating an Only fans, its so messy🙃

@shallonlester

3 жыл бұрын

HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS I AM CACKLING!!

You’re like the big sister I always wished I had. These people are so irrelevant to me and I don’t even know who they are but your advice in general is simply golden. Thank you Shallon!

Yes Shallon, you articulated this so well. A few years ago a guy I was obsessed with, knew I was into him and played mind games on me. Just like Shallon said, a no reaction is the best reaction. Even though I was furious inside, I acted like an ice queen. He got even more desperate and even talked to other girls in front of me to make me jealous or blocked my view lol. I never approached him, not even once.🖕🏻Dignity above everything else!

I haven't dealt with this in a while but something similar just recently happened and I'm ashamed to say I wasn't silent 🤦🏼‍♀️ I recognize what I need to do now going forward but I'm super ashamed at my "crazy" that came out.

@mohittiwarii20

3 жыл бұрын

I have done that too just level up and build your brand and live your best life. Fuck em

non reaction really does work. You were on point tonight. Haley gets it.

I couldn’t even focus on the video because your brows look so good ✨

@angelica5813

3 жыл бұрын

Hey I see a lot of people with your profile picture. Where is it from?

So I live in a small town and people didn’t know my ex and I dated, I was new here and when we did I like you said “iced him”. Even when people asked me about him I would say that he is my relative on my mom’s side. Or I would say I never met him and drove him crazy. He asked people to talk to me I continue to ice him because to be honest with you I don’t feel anything for him, I don’t feel he deserves an ounce of attention from me. When I see him out he greets and I greet back and go on about my way. Icing works I just don’t want him back 🤣

@khyati7733

3 жыл бұрын

Yessss 🤣🤣👏👏

@grazielaalmeida8438

3 жыл бұрын

👏👏

The whisper goose killed me 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

You’re looking great, Shallon! That hair shade and style beautifully softens your features🤍

Hope you are ok Shallon. Your honesty is always valued here.

My ex husband told me he wanted to separate for a while. And yes, we had been having issues, but i suggested counseling and he refused. Well I moved out (yes, I was young and dumb) with my single sister. Then I (hesitantly) started going out with one of her co workers she introduced me to. We hit it off. I forgot all about my ex, didn’t chase or call him Then he started calling me asking how I was and wanting to take me out etc. I refused because I fell out of love. Plain and simple. The new guy was so sweet, kind, and handsome I realized that I deserved better. My ex husband would beg, cry, chase, gifts, etc for months and months but I could never take him back.

yo but that charles impression had me dying 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@Gigi-kr7ki

3 жыл бұрын

Same! I had to replay that 15:17 🤣🤣🤣🤣

as Sun Tzu said "all warfare is based on deception"

I currently have an upper respiratory infection and when I tell you I almost DIED laughing at the "I wanna kidney" line- I fully mean it.

A few things: - love this color theme - love your hair, i think is THE one - love your frustration about other people’s grammar - love when you just stop taking because you need a moment to think - for real, i would love to go for a coffee with you and gossip lol - last thing: on my personal experience, it always took me the double of time of dating to get over someone. For example: I dated 1 years, its gonna take me 2 to forget him. Always the same.

Does Shallon read my mind or something? Her videos always come at the PERFECT time.

This advice is legit. In my circle of friends, we call it “Initiate ghost protocol” 😎

I honestly think they were already trying to get back together behind the scene and Montana was like "you better beg for me publicly, just like you humiliate me publicly". She seems like the kind of woman that would ask her man to post he love her on her facebook page. 🙄

I was just cracking up at your IG stories tonight. Then your video pops up! Perfect end to my night ♥️

@marianolivia3810

2 жыл бұрын

Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together, I got help from a man who brought us back together.

@marianolivia3810

2 жыл бұрын

*✛19059193258👈♻️♻️≧﹏≦亲爱的你好*

@marianolivia3810

2 жыл бұрын

He helped me not quite long and I got my husband who left me over two years ago within 48 hour's

I am going to add this to my playlist and listen to it every week and every time I feel desperate lol this video helped me a lot. Thanks Shallon

@marianolivia3810

2 жыл бұрын

Hi my relationship is fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together, I got help from a man who brought us back together..

@marianolivia3810

2 жыл бұрын

*✛19059193258👈♻️♻️≧﹏≦亲爱的你好*.

@marianolivia3810

2 жыл бұрын

M e s s a g e h i m f o r h e l p o n w h a tsap.

@marianolivia3810

2 жыл бұрын

He helped me not quite long and I got my husband who left me over two years ago within 48 hour's

you are the older sister I never had

Silence and mystery is ALWAYS the answer.

The problem is that his baby mama is a baby mama, not a wife, that means that this guy doesn’t want to marry or settle down but the girls wants the rich baby daddy. Everyone in this triangle have a problem

I’ve never been this early in my life. You look beautiful by the way, I’m loving this hair colour on you!

@wild333ful

3 жыл бұрын

I know! Shallow out does herself in so many ways these days✨🔥🧡

@shallonlester

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you angel face!!!

I think Bella Hadid is doing the same thing to The Weeknd , she didn't block him and still follow him till now on Instagram , She's Kinda unbothered, just living her best life even when she post sexy pic it's from her modeling job ( VS , Fenty Savage ) She acted unbothered by his After hours Album , he literally said in his song "And for that p**** I'm a slave" 👀 Imagine someone says I'm a slave for your p**** 😭♥️ I can't relate !

Omggg thankssss QUEEENNN I WASSSS DESPERATE FOR THIS VID I EVEN WATCHED SUBLIMINALS JUST SO U MAKE A VID ABOUT THISS!!!!!! THANKS QUEEEENN

Shallon, I found your channel a week ago and I'm binging watching your videos! Last night I laughed my head off when I saw your stories about Cody and Journey Mooney Hahahahaha. Loving it. Xo from a brazillian Shalligator. 🇧🇷

@abigaiilmarkss4671

3 жыл бұрын

Finalmente alguém do Brasil nesse canal

@raquelzinhatostes

3 жыл бұрын

@@abigaiilmarkss4671 mentiraaaaaa????? Hahahahahahaha. Ela é muito engraçada e inteligente! Tô amando!!!

Your The Crown impressions are SPOT ON

Love this 💛 also I think going cold helps with my own healing, to not keep the door open. Self worth & self respect - not groveling. Love it!

give us mini house tours like a kitchen tour and show us how you organize!!!