i love your conversation as it is much needed; i never felt so scared and anxious and i am a male white 56 yr old so definetely not a teenager or a twenty yr old

You remind me of my psychiatrist. I'm 24 right now and I've been going through a really rough patch in life. Social difficulties, a toxic relationship, struggling academically (had to pause my college attendance), depression, substance use, navigating my first apartment (with flatmates) without having a clear structure of work... Plus my psychiatrist also suggested that ADD/ADHD might be an issue. But he's no expert in that area so he's not able to make a diagnosis. Your videos give me hope and motivation. It's so difficult being in my 20's. Life only seems to get more difficult the more time I spend here. But I'm already making progress. Slowly but surely by listening to my surroundings and most importantly to myself. Life will always be difficult but with time I realized there are ways to deal with it, to make it easier, to make it enjoyable. Thank you for sharing your videos here!

I loved this conversation. I'm 64 and have struggled throughout many decades, but I'm inspired by this conversation. I understand why my life didn't follow a predictable path, andI wish I'd had a trusted person to guide me at essential moments.

Currently in my mid-20s and this is so insightful!

Thank you so much for this episode! As an almost 27 that should find a new job and potentially move soon, the uncertainty is so big. Not knowing our purpose, not having a fixed partner yet, nor a place, nor the promise of financial stability to buy a place sometime ... just this "I have a place somewhere" really helped!

I’m 23 and I’ve never felt more understood. Thank you.

In my 20's I was married to a man child who was jealous of everyone. Even my mother and the dogs. Those are red flags, BTW. He gaslighted and mooched off me for years until I finally dumped him. The 20's do matter. You struggle, but it gives you time to make mistakes and still have time to recover. Use your 20's to test a few limits, but most importantly to figure out how to make your future more stable.

@le_th_

Ай бұрын

Sounds like a borderline male who tried to exclude everyone else so he could become your "favourite person" (in Borderline-speak that means only person & your world revolves around them). They really have SICK and deviant mommy-issues, and want a mommy figure to take care of them and love them unconditionally (while still having sex with them) like you would a child, and take care of them like a child. Ick, just the thought of how sick these men (and women) are. Giant toddlers in adult bodies.

Love the podcast!

If I could make a recommendation: Ross Ellenhorn’s work on change and the fear of hope really crystallised for me why I found it so difficult to more towards my wants. When you spoke about action/inaction people - he instantly came to mind!

I’m 32 and I love getting older. Couldn’t pay me a million dollars to go back to my 20’s. The experienced knowledge that nothing lasts forever has completely changed my life. Let it be known that my life is still riddled with uncertainty and chaos 😂 but now I trust everything’s all good, even when it’s not.

This is a great Episode. Thank you and just ordered the book

@kriskelley3562

2 ай бұрын

I should be getting my book tomorrow, 🙌

I like a lot of what she states here. My only qualm is that she minimizes the amount of psychopathology, specifically personality disorders, that is/are prevalent in the world. I'm not saying just the people in their 20s who she is seeing professionally, but in the global population that everyone, including 20-somethings, who are encountering these pathological individuals at school, work, socially, and occasionally being victimized by them criminally. The *vast* majority of addicts who can't kick whatever habit they're using to emotionally numb have an underlying personality disorder that is driving the behavior (i.e. alcoholism, drug addiction/substance abuse, poly substance abuse, sex addiction, porn addiction, shopping addiction, hoarding, social media addiction). These are HUGE societal problems that are widespread and unable to be successfully treated because they're focusing on the surface content...the addict-like-behaviors...and not addressing the core content: the underlying personality psychopathology. i.e. characterological disorder. Far too many managers are high in narcissistic traits and deficient in empathy. Far too many homeless individuals are also high in narcissistic traits and low in empathy, as well as commonly afflicted with substance use disorders and pathological entitlement. Far too many parents are high in narcissistic traits and deficient in empathy for their children, wanting them to be little mini-me versions of themselves. People with characterological disorders abound, and are over represented in global leadership, corporate leadership, board rooms, law, law enforcement, medicine, dentistry, teaching, PTA leadership, HOA boards, influencers, etc. From school bullies, to on line bullies, to POTUSs, to the Senate, to Congress, to the Supreme Court. There is a lot of personality psychopathology out there in the world that 20-30-40-50-60-70-80+somethings have to deal with, from preschool all the way up to being hospitalized for some surgical procedure at middle age, right up until you die in a retirement home or assisted living. This is a HUGE problem that most psychologists never obtain the much-needed education on how to recognize, much differentially diagnose these individuals. That is a post-doc fellowship level education, and then some. At best, it's malfeasance that this education is not mandatory for psychologists before they can practice and, at worst, it's malpractice that they provide "therapy" for children and couples of these disordered-individuals and lack the education to be able to truly identify the behavior a child, adult child, or partner has been dealing with day to day, usually (not always) behind closed doors so the person can "keep up appearances" in public.

As an autistic person, I feel like some of these views are really harmful. Why does Meg Jay “hate to see” someone with a diagnosis view it as part of their identity? Apparently she isn’t familiar with the neurodivergent community, as many there find empowerment and validity through that. Being autistic is absolutely a part of who I am. Before I had a diagnosis, I thought I was crazy and a failure. I have much more self acceptance now because I know my brain is simply different. I’m much more aware of my triggers and strengths. I’m particularly disgusted by her saying people with the same diagnoses shouldn’t spend time with one another, because you’re not focusing on “strengths” that way. That’s borderline ableist, if not outright ableist. The message is “being different is automatically bad, focus on being with normal people.” Let’s not forget that most people who are different, like me, have spent their lives only around people who don’t understand them.

Why does she frame everything about life as difficult. It's so sad.

@kj5250

2 ай бұрын

❤right

@pedros7341

2 ай бұрын

Because life IS difficult for most people, unless you're living in fairy wonderland. In which case I want what you're having. People who have struggles, need those struggles validated so they don't feel abnormal or broken. Unfortunately the reality of the matter is modern life IS difficult, and the world is broken and unkind. If people are taught their life should be sunshine and rainbows, then when it inevitably isn't, they feel that they're intrinsically broken. There's nothing sad about viewing reality for what it is so you can effectively cope.

@le_th_

Ай бұрын

Well, how many people do you know fork over hundred of dollars ever week...or two...to go tell a psychologist how incredibly easy and/or awesome life is??? Gee, maybe that is why? ...and...at various points in life...things WILL get difficult. If you don't yet know that, lol, W O W, do you have a harsh wake up call coming some day.

Imagine spending this much time talking about how the kids these days just need to toughen up and stop being so entitled.

@hey-pk8vn

2 ай бұрын

I can understand how this can be perceived that way, though I felt it more as reassurance that we aren't alone in our pain and insecurity, which can make us feel less lonely and frankly less horrible (it brings to mind one of Kristin Neff's components for self-compassion, aka shared humanity). I also found it reassuring that some things ease as we age. Of course we need to do work and get help for many things, but sometimes we don't need to target the problem especially. Instead, cumulating experiences and brain maturing is sometimes enough. Anyway, I hope this video didn't leave you feeling too terrible, not every piece of information fits our life. Have a great day!

@le_th_

Ай бұрын

Nah, it's only the empathy-deficient and severely empathy-impaired people who think that way. Your parents never showed empathy toward you, so you never developed the ability to have it for others. Basically, people who hold this worldview are walking characterological disorders (psychiatry) aka personality disorder (psychology).