the reason John mulaney specifies his age in every show is because he's immortal and he's trying to avoid suspicion

@charliemurder8864

4 жыл бұрын

tworice I’m 1k

@arisbelyea14

4 жыл бұрын

that is exactly it

@buttercupcoffee5972

4 жыл бұрын

He has seen other celebs, like Keanu Reeves and Oscar Issacs getting outed. He can't risk it.

@ewwpoorpeople5684

3 жыл бұрын

He’s actually three kids in an unconvincing trench coat. Somehow he tricks his wife constantly.

@SFBullsGirl

3 жыл бұрын

I like imagining John Mulaney confessing that this is what he's doing. He just gets up on stage, states his "age" and then says "I give my age in every show, as some people have noticed. Because I'm immortal. And I'm trying to avoid suspicion..... Or that's what the internet would have you believe."

Chalamet is now 5'10" on Google. IS HE SHRINKING!?!?

@eduardaarrais

4 жыл бұрын

John thought he was getting too close of being 6feet tall so he had to take care of it, one inch at a time.

@Jackaroo.

4 жыл бұрын

He is likely even shorter than that. They typically fudge the height of celebrities by an inch or two.

@ShwetaGupta-hd6yk

4 жыл бұрын

His body has to match the face. He is becoming The Boy.

@melodyhaviland9393

4 жыл бұрын

conspiracy theory: john mulaney changed it.

@shestheone1503

4 жыл бұрын

JOHN IS REMOVING HIS INCHES

I love how he mentioned Timothy Chalamet and Willy Wonka in the same bit. Aged like wine.

@LunarFlare16

5 ай бұрын

i was looking to see if anyone commented that!

It’s crazy, before I knew of his addiction I didn’t pick up on all of his little knacks. Now watching this it’s more obvious he was high as a kite.

@sheasydoesit

Жыл бұрын

100% the first thing I noticed

@lucycondon9260

10 ай бұрын

Exactly what I was thinking. It's especially obvious after watching his newest special, the contrast makes it crazier.

@Mattbrandnew

10 ай бұрын

Right? He was constantly licking at the insides of his cheek through the whole routine

@cosgroveme2489

10 ай бұрын

@@Mattbrandnewthat’s exactly what I noticed too

@mangos2888

9 ай бұрын

He just said it's 2018 in this clip...

i looked up how tall timothée chalamet is just to fact check and, john, he's 5'10. not 5'11. you have TWO inches on The Boy

@youisstupid2586

4 жыл бұрын

Aneliese Eddy the boy has 3 inches on me. I lost to the boy, THE BOY!

@norakelly6703

4 жыл бұрын

A Eddy i think the boy is shrinking

@andreweddy7278

4 жыл бұрын

@@norakelly6703 that's unfortunate. he must be shrinking because he knows he can't compare to the greatness of john mulaney

@Fan_Girl-xd8wy

4 жыл бұрын

Two inches from 5,10 to 6,1? Can you explain? I know it sounds stupid but idk imperial sistem and it's so confusing

@andreweddy7278

4 жыл бұрын

@@Fan_Girl-xd8wy 6'1 is how tall annamarie (john's wife) said timothee was, not how tall john is. he's 6'0!

John Mulaney: my wife is in love with this Timothee Chalamet SOB. My husband: my wife is in love with this John Mulaney SOB.

@janirak.255

4 жыл бұрын

My husband feels the same! 😂

@Je551kuhhh

3 жыл бұрын

😱 I feel so seen right now...😂

@xaryn.bluebearyn

3 жыл бұрын

Wait a minute.... how did my thoughts get on your KZread comment? 🤣

3 жыл бұрын

Making me wonder: is Timothee Chalame married, and if so, is his wife into your husband?

@mattwaldman94

3 жыл бұрын

Chalamet is now 5'10" on Google. IS HE SHRINKING!?!?

Who’s here after it was announced that John and Anna are getting a divorce? I’m heartbroken for them and I wish them both the best.

@ZehraDogru0

3 жыл бұрын

Oh no... i never heard such a thing is this real😢

@destroya_at_the_disco4505

3 жыл бұрын

@@ZehraDogru0 Yeah, unfortunately. It was just revealed that he is now dating Olivia Munn too so it’s definitely real

@smol_chilli_pepper

3 жыл бұрын

What? Oh no that's terrible :(

@kelpower1

3 жыл бұрын

He’s also moving his tongue over his teeth a lot & seems so not like himself. I’m so sad

@coniloreen

3 жыл бұрын

Ik this isn’t related, but I love your pfp.

john mulaney is the human equivalent of Capitalizing Every Word

@Leprechaune

2 жыл бұрын

Yeah I agree.... That's not a good thing...

John Mulaney never fails to mention how old he is every time he goes on stage

@oahuahi

4 жыл бұрын

This tall child is dedicated to covering up his immortality.

@EddieLowenheim

4 жыл бұрын

So people won't think he's either 9 or 70, he talks like he's from the 20's but looks like a tall child so people get thrown off their rhythm when they see him

@K-A5

4 жыл бұрын

Just like how in rap music they always say the year. That way we always know when it was released.

@EddieLowenheim

4 жыл бұрын

@@K-A5 Yeah, you're right

@heyryanisonx3141

4 жыл бұрын

It's to have a record of his lies so he can keep it straight and not blow his cover

Is it me or has John Mulaney finally gone full 1930s radio announcer with his voice

@jilliank6379

4 жыл бұрын

Elsie John Mulaney is from Chicago. As someone who’s lived in Chicago her whole life, that’s how all we talk 😂

@kevinw712

4 жыл бұрын

I've never noticed it in other standup of his but in this video he seems to be constantly moving his tongue around the inside of his mouth in between sentences. I suppose because of all that water he didn't get to drink but rather spill...

@CaptPoco

4 жыл бұрын

@@kevinw712 I feel like he just ate like a older, tough kind of steak. Little bits of beef stuck like between your teeth. Getting that last bit of gristle outta there is pretty fun.

@anonymoususer8747

4 жыл бұрын

He’s on coke. Watch it again and notice how many times he licks his upper gums combined with the sometimes (totally uncharacteristic for him) involuntary touching of his nose. Coke makes most people talk waaay faster. They can’t pause. Mulaney has talked - on and off stage - about his use of cocaine, but it’s clearly not only in his past. His long pauses and perfect timing used to be epic. Shame because he is so much funnier straight.

@kierasherrod329

4 жыл бұрын

Anonymous User had cocaine like maybe 13+ years ago??? he’s not a crack addict

Man I'm gonna miss his jokes about his wife.

@cc6753

2 жыл бұрын

Can’t wait for the jokes about his kid !

@funnyusername7097

2 жыл бұрын

At least he can buy the Best Buy rewards card now

@ReMiLase

2 жыл бұрын

@@funnyusername7097 i love you

@avidlearner799

2 жыл бұрын

Also the jokes about him not wanting kids

@javierarias616

2 жыл бұрын

Why are you gonna miss them?

"My girlfriend" "My fiance" "My wife" "My ex-wife" I'm so sad.

@dlxmarks

2 жыл бұрын

But now he can say "My baby mama"

@davidschmidt5507

2 жыл бұрын

"My new Wife" "My Kid"

@LeAlejx

2 жыл бұрын

Don't be he's a shitty dude

@xX_Knives_Xx

2 жыл бұрын

@@LeAlejx no he aint fym

@yumisayama4110

2 жыл бұрын

WAIT WAIT WHAT HAPPENED???? 😫

i love how john just came out pissed and yelling

@Jemppu

4 жыл бұрын

Came out afraid he's "pissed" 👀

@Makasennn

4 жыл бұрын

@@Jemppu then admitted it was piss, proudly.

@madithurman

4 жыл бұрын

what’s new

@CameraHam

4 жыл бұрын

He’s like an old man on the street yelling about the good ol days

@FriendKevo

4 жыл бұрын

Maddie WHAT’S NEW PUSSYCAT

John Mulaney is a tall person with short energy

@kitsuneakage22

4 жыл бұрын

One of the most accurate ways to descrive him XD

@dortynords8795

4 жыл бұрын

I have never heard a more accurate statement

@jaygreene2257

4 жыл бұрын

I legit thought he was like 5’9” at the very most

@coolperson1158

4 жыл бұрын

Kitsune Akage if this is short energy i’m fine with being short now

@kitsuneakage22

4 жыл бұрын

@@coolperson1158 same bro

"what the hell did you do?!?!" "Nothing! I just might have lung cancer!" "Oh thank God!"

Now Anna Marie is free to slide into Timothee Chalamet’s DMs and I hope she does.

@june8400

2 жыл бұрын

theres a rumor from deuxmoi that could be about annamarie sleeping w timothee...

@franziskamaria5157

2 жыл бұрын

@@june8400 if so good for her 🔥

@cinderellaskeleton6720

2 жыл бұрын

You wanna know what’s really weird, tim just got announced to play wonka in a wonka prequel.

@elegancia6179

2 жыл бұрын

@@june8400 good🙏🏼 for 🙏🏼her🙏🏼

@amunRa95

2 жыл бұрын

@@cinderellaskeleton6720 that’s y I’m here lmaoo

i'm six feet, i'm taller than tHe BoY

@boobies8658

4 жыл бұрын

ndnd sksnnd interesting

@KittyFace83

4 жыл бұрын

Stand up gives me no sense of scale, I never would've guessed he was a giant (I'm 5'3')

@nainadavidar1500

4 жыл бұрын

Also timothee chalamet is 5'10

@char5108

4 жыл бұрын

the beautiful boy

@colbycat19

4 жыл бұрын

I was FUCKING KIDDING.

The crowd didn’t deserve John and his feminine hips

@noellegraces

4 жыл бұрын

they did not

@mungolikescandy3270

4 жыл бұрын

don’t mention johns feminine hips, it’s the thing he’s most sensitive about

@anniehatley9760

4 жыл бұрын

He’s a proud Asian American woman

@nickb5576

4 жыл бұрын

He’s high waisted

@shizukagozen777

4 жыл бұрын

@@nickb5576 😹😹😹

Mulaney’s Wife: Hey, Timothy Chalamete is hot Mulaney: I’m leaving you for Olivia Munn

@psychologistplays3370

Жыл бұрын

"Now I know you're feeling blindsided by this, but actually, I've been in the process of leaving you for months. She's pregnant. Okay bye!" - also Mulaney, probably

@desireeloveros1055

Жыл бұрын

At least she has a shot with Chalamete now

@garbz1414

Жыл бұрын

​@@desireeloveros1055 never in her wildest dreams bros out of her league ngl

@thenablade858

7 ай бұрын

@@garbz1414Olivia out of John’s league too let’s be real. He looks like he should be a newspaper boy in the 1930’s.

anyone here just watching all these john mulaney specials about his wife in may 2021 trying to recover from the trauma of them getting divorced

@asmidhyani2909

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah :'(

@Chatixxxx

3 жыл бұрын

THEY GOT DIVORCED?

@user-mh1yv3sy3e

3 жыл бұрын

@@Chatixxxx yeah :(((

@valeriag9443

3 жыл бұрын

@@Chatixxxx Not yet because that’s the legal part but they have split up

@user-mh1yv3sy3e

3 жыл бұрын

@@lunar.mp3915 i think op was referring to the trauma we as his fans are recovering from 😭😭

It’s like seeing a 1950s radio host who time traveled to the present day

@nicktorr7888

4 жыл бұрын

brown suit with an off white shirt

@austin3789

4 жыл бұрын

Yeah.. he's milking it.

@kabob21

4 жыл бұрын

Stop stealing other people's comments on other Mulaney vids and pretending like you're the clever one, you fucking hack.

@Finicheti

4 жыл бұрын

kabob21 dude it’s a KZread comment calm down

@siobhanmulvey

4 жыл бұрын

James Bond yes

John Mulaney's wife clearly has a taste for the baby face. Makes sense she likes Timothee Chalamet.

@StormfieldsComet

4 жыл бұрын

Yeah, I saw the title of this video and I was like, "Oh, so she has a type."

@daisylovesnoodles2166

3 жыл бұрын

agreed

@henrytaylor4777

3 жыл бұрын

The crowd didn’t deserve John and his feminine hips

@misnomer6345

3 жыл бұрын

@@henrytaylor4777 that's the thing he's sensitive about

@lavendernixart9281

3 жыл бұрын

To be faiiiir that's just Good Genetics

John Mulaney: [rants about the boy and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory] Timothee Chalamet: [gets the role of Willy Wonka] John Mulaney: that's the same joke twice 🤨

HE DOES NOT PAUSE BETWEEN HIS BITS AND I LOVE THE ROLLERCOASTER

@catherineshaw1122

2 жыл бұрын

That's how cokeheads roll.

@philippefleury4298

2 жыл бұрын

@@catherineshaw1122I didn’t know about his problems with substance abuse but watching this clip and his mouth told me a lot. I hope he’ll recover well.

@catherineshaw1122

2 жыл бұрын

@@philippefleury4298 he won't. He went to a 3 month cushy rehab, came out and got divorced, knocked up an actress who had zero morals (she gushed about being obsessed with him, in interviews, while he was married) and is heading straight for a relapse, at best.

i love how john always says his age in every show he's doing cos existence is a joke and also so he can show us the passage of time.

@ryantland10

4 жыл бұрын

it would help me if he were wearing glasses, to show that time had passed.

@KINDaf

4 жыл бұрын

Thanks for the nurse Batman reference

@anthonylawson2275

4 жыл бұрын

If existence is a joke than there is no passage of time.

@natt5425

4 жыл бұрын

He's trying to convince us that he's not immortal

@emmettdonkeydoodle6230

4 жыл бұрын

Anthony Lawson not necessarily

John disproves the nagging wife stereotype by being the nagging husband

@cheesecakelasagna

3 жыл бұрын

Also isn't his wife naturally funnier than him? lmao

@ArtemisScribe

3 жыл бұрын

@@cheesecakelasagna I think that John and Anna are equally funny but when you're both funny and one of you is talking about something funny the other one said it sounds even funnier.

@grassaf4354

3 жыл бұрын

John is an asian american women get is the nagging wife

@CC-CR

3 жыл бұрын

Well every day he's becoming more like his mother

@valhalla1240

3 жыл бұрын

I love how he includes his wife in his bits, because there's such a long history of men in comedy portraying their wives horribly and he often calls her his hero.

It’s better now that I realize Pete Davidson is their mutual friend. This means that it is incredibly likely that realistically, Pete could,,, accidentally invite Timothee to the Mulaneys for dinner one day

@catherineshaw1122

2 жыл бұрын

Uh, did no one break it to you? They are divorced. They split last year, right before he checked into rehab at Christmas and then he publicly started banging Olivia Munn.

@amiyamarshall7148

2 жыл бұрын

@@catherineshaw1122 I know that now, I didn't when i posted the comment lmao

This guy’s like italicized Times New Roman in human form.

@flygirl6048

2 жыл бұрын

....you are so right

@sirg-had8821

2 жыл бұрын

Holy shit...

I’m glad that he says his age every show because I can never tell the difference.

@lemonbii3902

4 жыл бұрын

absolutenightmare he needs to wear glasses to show that time has passed

@thedailybullshit4033

4 жыл бұрын

He's immortal, there's a reason he sounds like a 30s news announcer, he actually was. He's just trying to throw us off.

@thefungiwhisperer2313

4 жыл бұрын

he still looks 24 though tbh... also @Freedom Fighter Y e s

@chyld7710

4 жыл бұрын

Sometimes, I dont know if hes 6, 8 or 28. But 32? Idk..

@riversouder3375

4 жыл бұрын

@@thedailybullshit4033 he's trying to throw us off our Rhythm

Nothing brings me more joy than John Mulaney's pure rage.

@terseandtiny1746

4 жыл бұрын

It's the best thing

@louissallie225

4 жыл бұрын

Come THROUGH, RAGE!!! I bet he don't even be that mad for real. 🤣💗☠️😏

@nuclear_wizard

4 жыл бұрын

"And I just INTERNALIZED IT" XD

@seanthebluesheep

4 жыл бұрын

It's like watching a kitten try to bite it's own tail.

@netflixisajoke

4 жыл бұрын

We love a John Mulaney Wonka rant.

love is dead goodbye everyone

@goodcat3067

3 жыл бұрын

This shouldn’t be that funny😂

@yashas8285

3 жыл бұрын

so true :(

@purrhead6882

3 жыл бұрын

I wonder if they’ll change the title

@jackmclean4120

2 жыл бұрын

Well he's a regular person, he has struggles. People kinda put celebrities, especially comedians, on pedestals and that leads to them ignoring the personal events that celebrities face in favour of a constructed idol.

That Charlie bit is just genius, every line is just perfect, and with his delivery it becomes one of my favorite stand up routines of all time. I've watched it like 10 times by now and it's never not funny.

@jols._.9835

3 жыл бұрын

Definitely watch his bit on Bill Clinton! It's my favorite of his

@TimpBizkit

6 ай бұрын

Definitely some lines of Charlie in there somewhere

why is this small boy with feminine hips so angry

@the.muffin

4 жыл бұрын

Noooo thats the thing this asian american women is sensitive abouttt

@Raisume24

4 жыл бұрын

HES TALLER THAN ThE bOy , Jessica.. 😂🤣😂🤣

@ramshacklealex7772

4 жыл бұрын

I don't know, but get some rest, tall child. You can't keep burning the candle at both ends

@ramshacklealex7772

4 жыл бұрын

@@blackpeopleeatersmith3663 Native English speakers say "What is it like to..." or "How does it feel to..." Don't worry, learning a second language is hard. You'll be fluent before you know it.

@albertojaa8551

4 жыл бұрын

Rolft 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

This Asian American woman seems very angry

@mantis_toboggan_md

4 жыл бұрын

He's a tiger mom!

@notdestini

4 жыл бұрын

bet it's because of that chauvinist asshole from blockbuster again

@thekidsclub2793

4 жыл бұрын

Maybe it's the high waisted hips 🤔

@iluvdissheet

4 жыл бұрын

@@thekidsclub2793 hes very sensitive about that

@raymondfisheriii791

4 жыл бұрын

I dunno about any Asian woman, but that tall child that was on stage seemed to really have some opinions on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

"it's not a bit" he says as he proceeds to make it a bit

Licking his teeth and rubbing his nose, he’s high here. Glad he got help

"My office is in the garage" Did he finally get a house? Did his real estate agent stop bugging him about a nursery??

@joanneoldford3082

4 жыл бұрын

This is an on fire garbage can... Could be a nursery.

@natalie9388

4 жыл бұрын

They made johns office into a nursery so that's why his office is now in the garage

@ellaneill2927

4 жыл бұрын

Natalie Santa Anna A nursery for who? Petunia?

@natalie9388

4 жыл бұрын

@@ellaneill2927 his baby that they will never have😌

@christophertidwell2422

4 жыл бұрын

Found ou next time on dragon ball mulaney

“I might have lung cancer” “OH THANK GOD”

@agiar2000

4 жыл бұрын

I don't get it. What were we supposed to think that John's wife was thinking he meant?

@tanhayk416

4 жыл бұрын

@@agiar2000 If I'm not mistaken, it was the time when all the sex scandals were coming out, and a few comedians were involved too.

@whyshouldicarehistory5038

4 жыл бұрын

@@tanhayk416 you're not mistaken

@calisongbird

4 жыл бұрын

Animation Crustacean 😂😂😂

@Cleptrio

4 жыл бұрын

agiar2000 This was during the height of the #MeToo movement.

Grandpa George gets at least one line in the 2005 movie. He cusses out one of the other kids when the kid is on the news, and Charlie's father covers Charlie's ears.

I love how, when you're watching him, you can kinda forget that he's performing in front of an audience. its like im just listening to my friend go on a ramble about Charlie and the chocolate factory at 3 am. He's very natural at changing subjects and overall delivery

@Leprechaune

2 жыл бұрын

I gotta disagree... His delivery is so over the top and not natural, almost vaudevillian

“i haven’t walked in forty years.. hold on lemme check”

@simspigeon9481

4 жыл бұрын

Yeah I watched it too

@anonymousfox7219

4 жыл бұрын

@@simspigeon9481 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory or this video?

@simspigeon9481

4 жыл бұрын

Anonymous Fox this video, I was basically saying that their is no point writing a John Mulaney quote in the comments of a video that that quote was in.

@anyarose06

4 жыл бұрын

Fetus loll i was just quoting my favorite part of the video, cause i thought it was funny.

@SleepIntoTheDiamondLife

4 жыл бұрын

@@laraweinberg7635 are they?

His wife being high key relieved he didn't "me too" someone is so funny to me

@mini8129

4 жыл бұрын

I didnt get that part. What does that mean

@abbydensmore2118

3 жыл бұрын

Minnie Mouse there were a few comedians around that time that sexually assaulted people so she was relieved that he didn’t assault someone

@micahguillemette3344

3 жыл бұрын

THATS what that is???

@zatanamag11

3 жыл бұрын

W

@topogigio7031

3 жыл бұрын

@@micahguillemette3344 have you been living under a fucking rock?

The fact that he called out that we all dont like the cheer up charlie song and that he knows we fast forward through it is kinda scary and hilarious at the same time

I guess they just couldn't get passed Timothy

@darcistuhlman2079

3 жыл бұрын

This is gold

@notsaying8300

3 жыл бұрын

the funniest comment

@alexrussell8358

2 жыл бұрын

or john just could not get passed drugs and another woman

@catherineshaw1122

2 жыл бұрын

@@alexrussell8358 bingo! Addicts give zero f*cks who they hurt.

@alexrussell8358

2 жыл бұрын

@@catherineshaw1122 :(

“And I just internalized it” is such a raw line and I want to use every time something slightly offends me

@lilenwasnothere6867

3 жыл бұрын

"and i took that personally"

@RavenLunatic33

3 жыл бұрын

Such a Virgo thing ! Lol ♍

@etoyoshimura5834

2 жыл бұрын

Thats not abnormal, its simply restraining yourself. Also its quite unhealthy long term.

@toxicbreez4277

2 жыл бұрын

@@etoyoshimura5834 indeed 🧠👨🏼‍🏫🧘🏼‍♂️

@hannahmetzger4880

2 жыл бұрын

"And I took exception to that."

This crowd dead af, Mulaney deserves better.

@JoeSmith-iv3sf

4 жыл бұрын

Idk this guy doesn't do it for me. Seems like I am in the minority on this one. Can't win them all

@blackpeopleeatersmith3663

4 жыл бұрын

no he does not he's traaaaaaash, like ur name u know what i mean?

@eleanorlewis4527

4 жыл бұрын

No worries I think it’s the recording mike, it’s not supposed to pick up on audience sounds :)

@sorou

4 жыл бұрын

blackpeopleeater Smith Your propic explains this comment so much

@AngelPerezComedy

4 жыл бұрын

@@JoeSmith-iv3sf his trash ass vaudeville delivery and basic ass jokes.

After Baby J, I can’t unsee the cokehead energy in these old sets

@zeldamaster702

11 ай бұрын

I found myself counting the number of times he licked his front teeth

@madmannc

10 ай бұрын

I'm glad someone else said it.

His wife deserved better. Timmy you're up.

@happymantis

2 жыл бұрын

I'm sure Timmy is right on it!

@meetaverma8372

2 жыл бұрын

Someone just tweet it to them, g'damn it

@andresbarriga5305

Ай бұрын

Are you completely sure about that?

There's nothing like John Mulaney releasing his full rage to things, including, but not limited to, Pee, Timothee Chalamet, Grandpa Joe. This is what I came for. 😅

@ChaMiranda21

4 жыл бұрын

@@marissa1450 midgets.. 🤣

@ginntastic

4 жыл бұрын

@@marissa1450 laundry soup

@michp9554

4 жыл бұрын

and his wife

@calimorales9880

4 жыл бұрын

College

Ok the people worried about the crowd being “dead”, the audio is just edited to only focus on audio from the mic. In specials they add in a little bit of the audience audio, but I guess in this video they didn’t.

@TheFridayNightGamerj

4 жыл бұрын

Rachael Tobbell oh my god my sister name is RaEchel, this is the closest I’ve ever seen to someone with similar spelling

@rachelk3887

4 жыл бұрын

My name is RachEl, and it has been, as is often the case, since birth. I am in my mid/late 20s and my grandma still spells my name Rachael on all my birthday cards.

@TheFridayNightGamerj

4 жыл бұрын

Rachel K I’ve really on heard of it spelled the way that you do. I didn’t realize Rachael was that common

@shizukagozen777

4 жыл бұрын

@@rachelk3887 Grandmas...

@julianskowron7964

4 жыл бұрын

Jared Tessen I onow a girl named Raechel

In retrospect, Timothee would have been the better bet.

This bit aged like fine wine…. I hope his ex wife and Timothy had a great time together 🤪

@meetaverma8372

2 жыл бұрын

They should have many more good times together

John: “‘No one is peeing their pants and then just going about their day” Me, who works in a nursing home: um, incorrect

@hadleelandis553

3 жыл бұрын

Lmao 😂

@daraobannon9904

3 жыл бұрын

100% came here to say this. All day every day where I work! (thanks for doing what you do, by the way!)

@novacorps2468

3 жыл бұрын

Or a nursery. Either way 😂

@dexa6623

3 жыл бұрын

Literally anyone who knows a small child: doubt

@kingofwishfulthinking2490

3 жыл бұрын

Ah yes nursing homes, which of course are full of people who piss their pants just before getting up on stage to do stand up in front of an arena of people.

I feel like John Mulaney is one of the few comedians who uses hos wife in a joke but not in a negative way. I could be wrong though.

@CanuckleheadHistory

4 жыл бұрын

Rimuru Tempest Honestly, he does an excellent job of that. Anna is always part of the joke narrative, not the butt of the joke - which is refreshing.

@tsundere62

4 жыл бұрын

I think he's the only male comedian who actually likes his wife

@traceew3580

4 жыл бұрын

Jan Viator 😂😂 You Maybe Right

@rimurutempest4945

4 жыл бұрын

I’m starting to think it’s because he doesn’t drink or go to bars.

@gregposey2606

4 жыл бұрын

If you like that about John, you might wanna check out Seth Meyers' special Lobby Baby.

I wish Anna,Timothee, Olivia and John a happy life. 😂😂😭😭

@thedestroyasystem

3 жыл бұрын

Laughing because if you cry you never stop crying

I wondered if you could tell when he was coked up doing a set. Now I know.

I thought for a sec that he had a new stand up on Netflix

@user-ip6sd3cw7y

4 жыл бұрын

yeah I got excited 🥺

@stephaniehatem

4 жыл бұрын

Same D':

@izzypikachu27

4 жыл бұрын

I almost checked but then I decided to check the comments first and I saw he didn’t 😢

@sannimarttinen8720

4 жыл бұрын

same

@trav9550

4 жыл бұрын

ME TOO

"Hes 5'11" Who? " THE BOY" He loves her so much 🤣🤣🥺

@Pete_Finch

3 жыл бұрын

John just coming in a day later and going I'M TALLER THAN THE BOY killed me

@skylovermc2146

3 жыл бұрын

He’s 5’10 actually

@atable2505

3 жыл бұрын

This aged poorly

@josephshipley5214

3 жыл бұрын

Are you sure

@gargamel949

3 жыл бұрын

Huh this didn't age up well

I feel a very petty way about him. He did his wife dirty IMO.

@psychologistplays3370

Жыл бұрын

Same I can't stand him anymore. Justice for Anna Marie Tendler

He was geeking through this entire bit dude😂 like all he kept thinking was do the bit and get a line do a bit get the line

I feel bad Mulaney was doing everything he could to get some energy out of the crowd but they were just so dead it ruined his set

@greywolf5896

4 жыл бұрын

They got better towards the end but yea 😂 I was laughing the whole time john!

@amber76OH

4 жыл бұрын

Right? Tough fkn crowd, man. Or boring one. I laughed so hard.

@defsushi

4 жыл бұрын

Cuz he's not funny

@amber76OH

4 жыл бұрын

@@defsushi cool addition to the comment section of a video you don't like, bro 👍

@FlameOnDeck

4 жыл бұрын

To be fair, mulaney is great but I think he went 1/3 on this sets subject matter. Nailed the grandpa Joe bit but I don't think too many people would care for pee jokes or timothee chalamet

This 6 foot Asian American woman is very loud.

@Jackaroo.

4 жыл бұрын

This tall child looks very tired.

@jamestrevelyan1268

4 жыл бұрын

Lucas Stop burning the candle at both ends tall child!

@placeholder_username9528

4 жыл бұрын

The Asian-American woman kind of has feminine hips

@kristiwalton5374

4 жыл бұрын

The tall child is definitely a tiger mom

@dingus1655

3 жыл бұрын

im pretty sure he was on coke

I hope she gets with Timothée Chalamet now and has a wonderful time

@goose8284

2 жыл бұрын

apparently she did, nothing concrete, just rumours

When Timothée Chalamet showed up in that Edward Scissorhands Super Bowl commercial , I yelled "THE BOY!!!"

"And I just internalized it" hit WAYY to close to home

@p0llenp0ny

4 жыл бұрын

Did it? Did it really?

@thething1110

4 жыл бұрын

@@p0llenp0ny...yes....?

@peeli5657

4 жыл бұрын

BonkersTundra31 same for me, why was it like that for you too?

He talks like he’s from 1929

@fademusic1980

4 жыл бұрын

"Nyahhhh cause I'm black see!"

@anaussie213

4 жыл бұрын

Mid-Atlantic? He actually doesn’t. You yanks can’t even get your own accents right lol.

@Diagnosis940

4 жыл бұрын

Yeah, from ‘29, with a D in his A.

@neeshashah263

4 жыл бұрын

yup, and we love him for it

@blu3j00Ls

4 жыл бұрын

And he could also look like one of The Everly Brothers.

I’ve been seeing comments about how they’re a good couple, but I also just saw that they’re divorcing

@catherineshaw1122

2 жыл бұрын

He's an addict. They were done a while ago. Now he's banging Hollywood idiots.

who else is here after hearing the news about john getting a divorce

To me it feels a little counter-intuitive that John's so insecure about his wife being attracted to Timothée Chalamet specifically. I mean, oh no, his wife is attracted to super-skinny, "clean-cut" dudes with dark hair and cute, boyish faces. That doesn't describe John at all.

@maddison5120

3 жыл бұрын

You're right, seeing as he's a strong, independent Asian American woman 😂

@Quinn-bq9sv

3 жыл бұрын

He is an Asian-American woman with feminine hips, excuse you

@eileensnow6153

3 жыл бұрын

Timothee Chalamet will age. John Mulaney is ageless and eternal

@maddison5120

3 жыл бұрын

@@eileensnow6153 Timothee Chalamet is temporary, John Mulaney is forever

@j2forew974

3 жыл бұрын

@@eileensnow6153 @Waffle Cakes do not come for Timme please I love him so much he’s a kind, adorable man

John Mulaney is really talented in general but one of the things I find especially amazing is how seamlessly he can transition. In the span of 6 minutes he took us from peeing yourself to timothee chalamet to his wife/Me Too/lung cancer false alarm to the cruelty of Charlie in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and not once did something feel out of place

@RubberDucky-ri1nb

4 жыл бұрын

Asher :p he’s one of the best comedians with the cleanest transitions!!

@nessa-marks

3 жыл бұрын

“Changing topics entirely”

@djdavis6837

3 жыл бұрын

Thats our Asian American woman

@user-qn4tq2qt5m

3 жыл бұрын

@@nessa-marks lol but exactly! Even that is smooth its not like he just does change topic. He makes audience laugh into the next bit without it being weird it's just funny😂

@eat_pray_porg8450

3 жыл бұрын

He is just an Asian American tiger mom with some superb storytelling skills. Also, he's new in town! ;-)

Well this is sad now. Oh my gosh who’s getting Petunia

@tejaswoman

3 жыл бұрын

One can hope they would work out a way to share her time. That said, physical custody probably would rest with whoever travels less.

@caitymccaity

2 жыл бұрын

Probably Anna, probably because John is touring again, and Anna has a stable job in New York,

@dlxmarks

2 жыл бұрын

John now lives in LA and Olivia Munn is having his baby so probably not him.

Someone needs to do a stand up routine talking about how quickly stand ups come out of character and bolt away the second they finish their set lol

I should not have laughed as much as I did at “I’m taller than the _boy!”_ Same with: “No, no I might have lung cancer.” “Oh, thank _God.”_ Even in context that’s horrible, yet he still managed to make it funny. This guy’s a genius.

@DivaDelgado128

4 жыл бұрын

I friggen adore John Mulaney. Hilarious.

@talos111

4 жыл бұрын

What was the context of that time period that he mentioned?

@aidankeo

4 жыл бұрын

Tiber Septim Cosby? His crimes got big around the

@talos111

4 жыл бұрын

Double_AA_3333 ahh. That. My sense of time is sorta screwed.

For some reason John saying “I’m six feet” is wild to me because he radiates such “5’9” max but 5’11” because he wears shoes with heels” energy

@davids55555

4 жыл бұрын

Whizzer's terrible horrible no good very bad day Having the tick marks for height inside of quotations is confusing

@crazycats535

4 жыл бұрын

@@davids55555 😉😄

@paigeduffin4420

3 жыл бұрын

He's proud of his height because he knows he was supposed to be short.... in heaven they built like three quarters of a 5'8" dude and then forgot to flip the final switch

@TPRM1

Жыл бұрын

@@davids55555 Yeah, I’m not sure what the answer to that is. Put the whole quote in italics, maybe?

@TPRM1

Жыл бұрын

The cocaine and Adderall bumps him up to six foot.

Now his wife can go out with anyone she wants.

everyone else is saying they're here after the divorce announcement but who else is here after finding out that timothee chalamet is gonna play willy wonka in a wonka prequel movie

@EfeFlet

2 жыл бұрын

He's gonna what-

I’m a huge John Mulaney fan and whenever my boyfriend makes a sort of funny joke, he says, “I bet John Mulaney would have never thought of THAT one!”

@lordoftheducks332

4 жыл бұрын

Yayleene Palacio he needs to start saying “I’M FUNNIER THAN THE BOY”

@Grace-ez2ot

4 жыл бұрын

John Mulaney would be SO proud

@NewlightRinoa

3 жыл бұрын

hahaha 😂😂

@bananajam6393

3 жыл бұрын

LMAO

@Chris-rg6nm

Жыл бұрын

"John Mulaney cheated on his wife and then divorced her, I would never divorce you."

i played grandpa george in a school play a while back, so i’m glad he finally got the recognition he deserved.

@MaxximusP

4 жыл бұрын

Legendary Rabbit doing the Lords work, God Bless

@rmariate

3 жыл бұрын

You're a keeper Legendary Rabbit.

@doloresstone9927

3 жыл бұрын

“So I leave the garage..MY OFFICE IS IN THE GARAGE..!!” John Mulaney is the only human being that can speak in fonts.

@mimiandcheese1357

3 жыл бұрын

I played grandpa Joe once and I absolutely loved getting to do that but yeah I agree that the other grandparents should’ve gotten some recognition

@feavouglan4427

3 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂

0:05 DOUG JUDY STILL PLAYS THE PIANO Y'ALL

@himan_a_9795

2 жыл бұрын

Is that really him ?

Mulaney seems really manic and energetic here. I wonder if something could be causing that.

@bocagoodtimes1460

8 ай бұрын

Yep…..it’s all out in the open!

i love how he went from "my wife loves timothée chalamet" to "fuck you, grandpa joe!" just discovered him, he is so hilarious

@christinap-c

3 жыл бұрын

Welcome to our club. We all love him and protect him with our lives.

@tejaswoman

3 жыл бұрын

@@christinap-c Well, _did_ . Some of us aren't feeling quite as much on his side now as we were a few weeks ago.

@christinap-c

3 жыл бұрын

@@tejaswoman Yeah my comment didn’t age well.

@saem25

3 жыл бұрын

@@tejaswoman wait what happened?

@saem25

3 жыл бұрын

@@Xander-mn1bi oh wow ok

John Mulaney must wake up and ask himself while looking through his wardrobe “which font will we speak today?”

@christopherminutolo9384

3 жыл бұрын

Wouldn't it be *Comic* Sans?

@Foeisudhxj

2 жыл бұрын

@@christopherminutolo9384 to be honest that would make sense since hes a comedian but he talks more like in a papyrus type font.

@tetronadionoxide5275

2 жыл бұрын

@@Foeisudhxj that was a pun

@Foeisudhxj

2 жыл бұрын

@@tetronadionoxide5275 obviously

@Its_me_Batman

Жыл бұрын

He speaks like 𝙏𝙃𝙄𝙎 𝙄𝙉 𝘼𝙇𝙇 𝘾𝘼𝙋𝙎

So bummed we're not going to hear stories about that tiny queen anymore. It seems very possible that he did her dirty so she's much better off, but I'll miss hearing about her. No interest in hearing about Munn and the child he never wanted.

i wonder if shes going for timothee now

I feel like "John Mulaney hates Grandpa Joe" would've made this more viral

@jgray1831

3 жыл бұрын

Ethan Jackson fax

@tejaswoman

3 жыл бұрын

Sure would make a good title now that he's dumped his wife, poor woman.

John Mulaney has been on r/grandpajoehate

@sparkl3s229

4 жыл бұрын

Ezra Schwartz what dude I need info

@sydeLPS

4 жыл бұрын

Can't wait for him to do an AMA and have someone mention that sub

@iluvdissheet

4 жыл бұрын

All these posts! 🤣😂🤣😂😍

@dashman8499

4 жыл бұрын

This was in 2018 he might have INVENTED that subreddit

@sydeLPS

4 жыл бұрын

@@dashman8499 Even better!

his timing when he's high is so different

John’s wife: Timothee chalamet is 6’1 John: And I took that personally

I think John Mulaney is at his absolute best when he's critiquing tv shows and movies. Home Alone 2, Back to the Future, SVU, HGTV shows, and now Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Keep 'em coming! Maybe Ghostbusters or The Goonies will be next.

@theVillageofBri

4 жыл бұрын

Don't forget "The Mule" 🤣🤣🤣

@theflickchick9850

4 жыл бұрын

Yeah! With the amount of jokes he makes about movies, it got my hopes up in thinking- “I could be a comedian..” since that’s where all my jokes are. 😂

@RjakVegas

4 жыл бұрын

Brett Maack my wife and I adore the kid gorgeous stand up !

@kerryegan3091

4 жыл бұрын

Bri Parker oh my god The Mule bit 😂

@gleegirltayler934

4 жыл бұрын

the svu bit is still one of my favorite bits hes done

Timothee went from "beautiful boy" to just "the boy"

@Azarath_Metrion_Zinthos

2 жыл бұрын

then to "Boy" later Just "Oy" lol idk that was super corny of me lol!

@HaydenXxM2401

Жыл бұрын

Nice. Quality movie.

@themostdiabolicalhater5986

Жыл бұрын

@@Azarath_Metrion_Zinthos cringe

Facts on “Cheer Up, Charlie.” I always fast forwarded through that part. And still do!!!!

"Like Charlie and the chocolate factory." Senses the audiences rising anticipation as they lean in for the punchline. "What if I just didn't explain, it's like charlie and the chocolate factory. Good night."

@GallifreyanCat

3 жыл бұрын

That was brilliant, he really knows what he's doing.

Anyone else feel like his energy is different? He sounds like he’s becoming JJ Bittenbinder

@elsie8757

4 жыл бұрын

When he says "and I was nervous" at the beginning it hit me that his accent has changed a little from his older stuff. He sounds a little like a 1920s gangster now. But like, not the boss or anything, just Underling #3 who's always going "nyeeh, see?"

@Taurusus

4 жыл бұрын

Yeah, he's developed more of a "character" on stage. I blame Nick Kroll, for vague reasons I'm not going to explain.

@GippyHappy

4 жыл бұрын

@@Taurusus oh...are you sure you don't want to explain?

@lyssvibes

4 жыл бұрын

GippyHappy STREET SMARTS

@Ceduria

4 жыл бұрын

@@Taurusus please explain

With his Charlie and the Chocolate factory bit and the Home Alone bit, I think John could just start a series where he critiques obscure points from movies and everyone would watch it

@eggznrice

3 жыл бұрын

He also did Back to the Future- ha i didn't realize how much he talks about movies

@letsgocows

3 жыл бұрын

Um hi, take a look at Screen Rant's movie pitches with Ryan George!!!!!!

@QuinnThomasFaerber

3 жыл бұрын

And The Fugitive

@taylorkitz

3 жыл бұрын

he did a review of The Mule with pete davidson on snl and i want it to be a recurring bit lol

Anna should start dating Timothée Chalamet as revenge

I got this recommended minutes after the announcement that he is divorcing her. 💔

@rebeccamelanson8796

3 жыл бұрын

It’s all Timothée Chalamet’s fault :( (I’m totally joking)

He’s so funny. And his usage of swear words is well timed. Not overused. Well done.

@thedeucedelgado3159

4 жыл бұрын

inkagiz dude that’s a fact.

@sassycc1558

4 жыл бұрын

Yeah his swearing is always on point hahaha

@blackpeopleeatersmith3663

4 жыл бұрын

That's great dude, i totally agree, he's hilarious, well timed, not overused. maybe now u should work on finding out who asked for ur opinion

@tencen7121

4 жыл бұрын

inkagiz okay tell me why I read that as “He’s not funny and his usage of swear words are overused” 😭 my brain is dying

@inkagiz

4 жыл бұрын

Ten cen ha ha...I’ll have what yer having my friend. Keep laughing. Be safe. 🤘🏻🇨🇦

Actual conversation when I was dating my now wife: Her: I hated Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Me: what? Her: I couldnt get through it. Me: are you serious? Why? Her: the mom is just singing and i- Me: YOU DIDNT FAST FORWARD THOUGH CHEER UP CHARLIE?! I had no idea this was a universal experience until this moment.

@erikalee9065

4 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂😂 one of my favs and i always fast foward that part too....

@zzzcocopepe

4 жыл бұрын

It's actually a good song

@johnnyv5812

4 жыл бұрын

I literally have never made it through the first 30 mins of the movie and never saw the whole movie 🤷🏼‍♂️

@ashleyanderson7912

4 жыл бұрын

I have never fast forwarded through that movie. I've always loved the whole movie. But I have always thought those other 3 grandparents must have felt useless. Poor things.

@Prince_the_One

4 жыл бұрын

@@ashleyanderson7912 don't worry, I'm pretty damn sure that Charlie gave all of his family money and a neverending supply of chocolate. 👌🏾

DEUXMOI BROUGHT ME HERE 😭

@15writergirl

2 жыл бұрын

Duex moi?

I knew who Timothee Chalamet was before I watched this and I always thought that he was cool, but watching this now after he's become one of my biggest celebrity crushes makes this even funnier. Now I understand why he's such a heartthrob. 😂