This video felt a bit like healing for me, I'm not gonna lie. Seeing Lauryn from so early and acknowledging the good, the bad, and the ugly, allows me to feel like it's okay to be in a complicated relationship with her art. Thank you Fiq.

@santiagodelgado875

Жыл бұрын

❤️

@bruhvibes5941

Жыл бұрын

I'm not watching this vid anymore, why expose yourself to "second-hand trauma" for listening to a musician. Unplug unhealthy exposure to artists.

@torrinbianchi5283

Жыл бұрын

@@bruhvibes5941 huh😂

@bruhvibes5941

Жыл бұрын

@@torrinbianchi5283 stop stanning stop fanning

@ReubenWalton

Жыл бұрын

What is the complicated relationship about? Has she made public comments that were bigoted, homophobic, transphobic, misogynistic, racist, ableist, ageist, or otherwise? That’s usually what people mean when they make reference to having a “complicated relationship” with the work of a specific artist or author. It’s not usually used in the context of an artist or author merely displaying erratic behavior or decision-making that seems indicative of mental health issues.

“What if tough love is just trauma we’ve mythologized as useful?” that's a quote if I ever heard one.

“The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill” CD was one of the last gifts my mother ever brought me. She was diagnosed with cancer and passed in December of 2000. I remember listening to a song for Zion and not understanding the lyrics. (I was 12) she explained to me that Zion was her sons name and he’s the joy of her world just like you’re the joy of mine. Till this day I cannot listen to that song without crying. ❤

@BarnabyWild13

Жыл бұрын

Chills almost every time.

@labelsandlife

Жыл бұрын

@@BarnabyWild13 facts!

@croneyr

Жыл бұрын

❤

@rosamalia1

Жыл бұрын

Beautiful ❤

@MAAT1111

Жыл бұрын

Your Mom lives with you forever.💚❤🖤

First time seeing your content. Growing up as the first born daughter of Chinese immigrants, your comment about the "talented kids succeeding anyway" while the less talented ones break under tough love really hit me hard. It wasn't tough love for me, just plain child abuse. I am no longer in contact with my parents. Thank you so much for covering this important cultural perspective.

@connorvanhelsing4768

5 ай бұрын

Yeah I feel that too man ❤❤

@TheAngryMarshmallow

4 ай бұрын

My heart goes out to you. 🖤 🥺 I'm 2nd Gen Mexican and my mom, despite not being Chinese, was incredibly close to being a "Tiger Mom" and it broke me.

@El_likes_to_stim

3 ай бұрын

I feel that. Same with "the first bullies you'll ever meet are your parents." Child abuse truly diminished me and disabled me. Being first born immigrant is really tough for me because the only family of mine who truly love me, from my mother's side in Cuba, are living in a different continent all the way on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean. I need their love and support, but I am alone after cutting contact with parents. The isolation really hurts.

@DanceArchives24

Ай бұрын

Wow. I am so sorry to hear that. I hope God heals your family or that u find a new family who can support u. Just bc they are arent blood doesnt mean they arent family.

I was living in Finland. Heard Lauryn would be in France so I took the plane just to see her. I had no friends in that city, I knew no one, and nobody cared about Lauryn that much to go with me. Lauryn was TWO HOURS late! We were sitting in the cold waiting for her for two hours and she came up, did a THIRTY MINUTES whatever that was and left. Think about a disappointed Black Brazilian woman who worshipped Lauryn? I worshipped her. I really did. This video is kind of a closure to me. I appreciate that.

My dad grew up to black parents from the 40s. Tough love was all he knew. So we were raised the same way. It took my brothers death at 27 for him to admit "I killed him" even though it wasn't his fault, he felt like how he raised us lead to his death.

@coolio_2510

Жыл бұрын

Thats deep. Sorry for your loss.

@jessehenderson2967

Жыл бұрын

@@coolio_2510 thanks man, sadly, as survivors of the same kinda shit me and my dad get along great now.

@uriustosh

Жыл бұрын

Prob was true tho. Parents mold their childs lives. Why most people are unfit parents, no matter where they are from or what language they speak

@ADubbs-fd8xf

Жыл бұрын

So sorry for your loss.

@hugh_jasso

Жыл бұрын

That's heartbreaking

“You have to be humiliated sometimes, you have to be kicked and beaten. And in that situation the person who’s kicking and beating, he’s feeling more pain than you are.” Wow, that is just sick. Tough love is truly a disease.

@therabbithat

Жыл бұрын

This is the type of thing you say when you were horribly abused and have decided to think of yourself as benefited from it because someone gaslit you and told you not to think of yourself as a victim

@WindowsXP_logon_sound_25yrsago

Жыл бұрын

@@therabbithat yeah... It's really sad. People try to rationalize the abuse they went through and sometimes this leads to them continuing the cycle. It can be hard to break those cycles if you've told yourself what happened wasn't that bad and it even helped you by making you strong.

@ahem8013

Жыл бұрын

@@therabbithat this has worked for me tho, and i don’t think i was gaslit into it… viewing my traumas in life with gratitude has helped me a lot with my depression and PTSD. it doesn’t mean you condone the behavior or anything.

@veromescla4445

Жыл бұрын

I'm just at the begining. Is that what thé guy who made the video said ? It's just awfull !

@Pyotiru

Жыл бұрын

when was this said?

People who preach tough love have never known unconditional love, and once you realize that you see them with pity instead of wisdom.

@Szeptun

3 ай бұрын

To be honest, I've always heard people use "unconditional love" in relations like parents towards children, but it always felt like a ruse, a cope for abusive or neglectful parents to justify their mistreatment of those children. If you internalize that you are a "good person and a good parent that love their children with unconditional love" then you don't have to examine yourself because you have already justified everything preemptively.

@ufoufo2788

3 ай бұрын

I feel like it might be a projection; growing up I felt this way too. I realized it stemmed from the fact I never received unconditional love when it mattered, so in a deep way I did not believe in unconditional love. It's taken a lot of time to realize what unconditional love is. Anyone can use the term of course, but it is most certainly a real thing and an important thing, and a real thing as well. It takes a lot of open-heartedness and bravery to see it though, because for us trauma survivors it's so easy to stick to what we're used to, even if it sucks. @@Szeptun

@redlion145

28 күн бұрын

​​@@SzeptunHow is unconditional love any more of a ruse than tough love? Genuine question. I've never seen tough love produce unambiguously good results. There is always baggage from that parenting strategy. By contrast, unconditional love occasionally produces ambiguous results, but by and large results in well adjusted children. One is clearly worse than the other.

@bravingbrivatebrian

24 күн бұрын

Nah. My mother gave me what she thought was unconditional love. And maybe it was, but that's not parenting. You HAVE to parent your children. YOU shape them. If you bend the knee to every whim of your child you WILL ruin them. Tough love is vital in this world. It's not the same as straight abuse or neglect. If you impose no conditions in the life of your child the conditions of the world will cripple them. As unconditional as God's love might be, this world is anything but unconditional.

@Szeptun

24 күн бұрын

@@bravingbrivatebrian hah, funny how I meant the exact opposite thing by my comment. People will abuse their children to "thoughen them up" and will lie to themselves that this is "unconditional love".

Thank you for explaining the effect of "Killing Me Softly." THE WORLD STOPPED. And everyone fell in love with who they thought Lauryn Hill was.

@tristanvongkultrup9800

Жыл бұрын

I'm personally a bigger fan of X-Factor. It also kind of clues us in to what her relationships may have looked like.

@laurenmastroviti6543

4 ай бұрын

She was a human being with a beautiful voice... That's nonsense.

@afromans170

2 ай бұрын

@@laurenmastroviti6543What do you mean?

@laurenmastroviti6543

2 ай бұрын

@@afromans170 That's THEIR problem if they fell in love with who they thought she was...

@afromans170

2 ай бұрын

@@laurenmastroviti6543 Yes, everybody knows this. You see a celebrity, they have an image and you believe that image to be them. I still don’t understand your point.

Black women are judged so damn harshly it drives us insane and causes so many health problems. Giving her grace is only right. The miseducation of Lauryn hill is my favorite album of all time.

@fah232

Жыл бұрын

🎯

@JFirecracker

Жыл бұрын

It's still hella tracks off Miseducation that I heard as an anklebiter that still echo through the back of my head to this day. Grace is the only answer.

@haileybalmer9722

Жыл бұрын

I couldn't help but compare her to Nina Simone for a lot of the video. So talented and young. So maligned and cornered. So lost and full of potential. So beautiful and so Black. I'm glad it didn't get as bad for Ms. Hill as it did for Ms. Simone. Both of their stories hurt my heart.

@fah232

Жыл бұрын

@@haileybalmer9722 Yes, you're so right....

@Doomer253

Жыл бұрын

I agree, but yo' the main thing with Lauryn. She didn't take care of her peoples that worked on MEOLH.

Lauryn hills life and struggles kinda mirrors nina Simone , being talented and gifted so early, becoming famous early, the fractured relationships with men, the down hill of careers, the abuse nina did to her daughter, etc both gave us so much but lacked accountability

@xevn7413

Жыл бұрын

Was coming to leave this exact comment, you hit it right on the nail

@Thejanaylee

Жыл бұрын

@@xevn7413 🙌🏽🙌🏽 after fd talked for like 20 mins I’m sounds like ms nina Simone 🤔

@TheNewgreatlife

Жыл бұрын

Ironically, Lauryn Hill is a huge fan of Nine Simone lol. I don't know much about Nina, but I've heard she had a very tumultuous life and she was extremely progressive in her fight for black activism. She seemed to have a militant spirit about her.

@Thejanaylee

Жыл бұрын

@@TheNewgreatlife yuppp “I’ll be nina Simone while deficating on your microphone” nina became erratic later on in here career I do believe they said she had bipolar disorder. I think she felt so passionate about activistm because of the trauma she face in NC and because she was an empath who felt things entirely

@Thejanaylee

Жыл бұрын

@@riledmouse4677 literally , omg it’s my fav I watch it as one of my comfort shows 🙌🏽

Lauryn Hill legitimately gives me a panic attack sometimes. As the son of a black father who put all the world's weight on his shoulders I connect deeply with her art and the way she was basically gaslit by everyone for being honest about systemic corruption.

When the topic of tough love comes up, I've coined the phrase "The world is tough enough"

We have to remember that what is labeled as "tough love" is often just abusive behavior. Yes several of the people you brought up are successful, but many of them have been honest, much later usually, about the fact that what they're parents,coaches etc put them through was often traumatic and that though they may be successful, they still carry that pain and the issues that come from it. Lauryn is a good but tragic example, same with someone like Raven Simone. Hell, the Jackson's are probably the biggest example. I could name others but you get the point. Excellent point being made about how the black community is often so concerned with abuse from those outside our community that we don't realize that we end up harming each other just as much.

@Nightdivinity

Жыл бұрын

MJ's Neverland and his borderline inappropriate relationship with children is displays a whole projection of the trauma he endured under his Joe Jackson. His plastic surgeries due to his insecurity with his nose stems from that trauma.

@lukesguywalker

Жыл бұрын

Exactly. My parents were my first bullies. I love our community and want us to do better.

@stalfithrildi5366

Жыл бұрын

White and from northern England where there's a similar approach to Tough Love. Parental figures feel the Love and show the Tough, meaning the people they raise feel the Tough but not the Love.

@jbmp1390

Жыл бұрын

@@stalfithrildi5366 That's a big thing with the English to the point that it's a trope practically. It's considered uncomfortable, unnecessary and a sign of weakness. Explains the rampant binge drinking and why so much English culture is based around alcohol. Also explains why in the UK you see grown adults going crazy over football. You can't show emotions about real things that matter, so you put it all into "the team". Sad.

@james_chatman

Жыл бұрын

@@lukesguywalker Same s*** over here homie. How many of us have been beat into permanent Imposter Syndrome?

You have to remember Sade walked off stage In the middle of a performance Disappeared for years When your personal life Feels like it's in disrepair It becomes extremely difficult for caged birds To sing!

@mariegold3906

Жыл бұрын

Which performance was this that she walked off stage on?

@Vorzilla

Жыл бұрын

People act like artist or stars can't be human and care about themselves more than stardom

@camipco

Жыл бұрын

Similarly, Nina Simone.

This video hit really hard on the tough love. Spent my first 12 years living in a great home with my grandparents to living with my dad to “learn how to be a man”. My pops loved us, but he was a STRONG believer in tough love. My dad was 6’4” 340+ at his heaviest, he ruled with an iron fist. If you messed up, or embarrassed him….you know he wouldn’t hesitate to put hands on you. A lot of it was “son I’m not here to be your friend”, but he did cross the line alot. I’ve been thrown over tables like a bar fight, held pinned up against walls, jabs to the face (all before 14). In a way, I believed in my dad’s mind he was helping me and my brothers with “toughness and discipline”. My pops is in prison, couldn’t let that anger go. Me and my middle brother are both college educated, married, have careers (the things he always wanted from us) and we were the ones he terrorized the most. When we talk he always tells me how proud he is of me, and that he hopes I understands why he treated us the way he did: to make us better. I always think about tho….at what cost? I learned hard work, discipline, “yes sir/no sir”, look a man in the eye, not running from your kids….all that from him….and would’ve still learned those things without getting choked out lol. It’s really a interesting concept: “tough love”.

@dannyu5879

6 ай бұрын

I like to think that I turned out well *in spite of* my parents beating me and ruling with fear, not *because of*.

@nicholasschake8113

6 ай бұрын

I’ve had relatives do the same thing, but don’t let him take credit for your success. You made your life what it is in spite of “tough love”, not because of it. You built that, and your success is not an excuse for him. Wishing you all the best

@kirstiedonaldson3686

6 ай бұрын

@@nicholasschake8113 I think that was your father maintaining his position of superiority with the added consequence of taking credit for your success. The truth is more likely that all of his behaviour is about his own anger, his own frustrations, and not knowing how to be a parent. Sorry that you had to go through all of that, the fact that you have been able to speak about this in these comments means that you have managed to make some sense of his abuse, so I salute you brother, and wish you much happiness.xx

@smallwang7

6 ай бұрын

He was teaching you that the world won't pull punches.

@phattyfresh

5 ай бұрын

“Would’ve still learned those things without getting choked out” agree 100%

I remember watching Todd in the Shadows review the unplugged album and Jesus Christ it’s disturbing. He points out that we’re essentially watching a struggling woman have a breakdown in real time and he’s right. Like it’s genuinely uncomfortable in its rawness, especially during the Peace of Mind performance where Lauryn is simultaneously pouring her heart out and desperately trying to hold herself together.

@TobiasSaibot87

7 ай бұрын

I never liked the unplugged álbum and I thought it was boring, not offering much compared to Miseducation

@The_Vanni

2 ай бұрын

@@TobiasSaibot87 ?

@harrisonburgeron

21 күн бұрын

@@TobiasSaibot87okay…?

I would've cried in front of all those folks on the apollo stage even as a grown ass man

@Offlineee_

Жыл бұрын

Yepp 😭

@luvburden5743

Жыл бұрын

I would of cussed them out,

@franknstein5376

Жыл бұрын

I was getting choked just off watching her performance and thinking about being in her shoes

@ceasemortal4318

Жыл бұрын

@@franknstein5376 and the fact she had to hold her tears in until she got off the stage breaks my heart

@ykshay

Жыл бұрын

@@luvburden5743 would've* not "would of", since that doesn't make sense

Oh damn. 😥 Them booing little Lauryn is breaking my heart. Can't imagine being that tough on a young girl showing vulnerability and bravery like that, all innocent and fragile and sweet.

@SmallBobby

Жыл бұрын

Everyone knows how the Apollo works, she wasn't blindsided at all....

@mushmouf1400

Жыл бұрын

PC ain't real

@skuggikuwa8989

Жыл бұрын

That's what I loved about the Apollo cause no one was treated differently. Even a sweet 13 year old is gonna get the brunt of the Apollo. It's like the stage is open for anyone but not anyone can get on that stage.

@CaptainFracture

Жыл бұрын

Dw it happens to men all the time

@purplepheasant4776

Жыл бұрын

Ruthless

I loved the unplugged performance. I was a teenager at the time and I don't really get caught up in the artists lives. I really loved her voice, I loved the rawness. I loved seeing her after so long. I hoped she was finding peace of mind. I literally liked the sound so much that I learned most of that unplugged album.

@nafeesajackson8866

11 ай бұрын

She was shuting evil out. She lived a hard life in the industry, with the group going haywire. And nobody know but herself. I wish I could meet and talk to her one time. She talks about a higher power being in control and having say over the population. Do we live in a communist country or what? How after so many years, we became comfortable with allowing the government do to us as they wish.

@iRaXta-uf7zq

11 ай бұрын

Exactly the same for me. I know them all by heart. I gotta find peace of mind.

@cb4664

9 ай бұрын

It was a transformative performance. The most raw and real I have ever seen.

@cb4664

9 ай бұрын

First timer: a little constructive criticism: no offense seriously but I think you talk way too much bruh. I would have enjoyed the video more if I heard more of her/them and less of you. Much of the narration was unnecessary and seemed self indulgent.

@1keryl

9 ай бұрын

@cb4664 i second that. I feel like he tries to make it as long as possible to give it some kinda extra credibility or smthn. Smh

It broke me. I ask my self everyday “how can the ppl who love me the most hurt me the most” “isn’t it supposed to stop when you grow up”

"What if Tough Love is Trauma we mythologized as useful?" Yeah it is, but we sure as hell can't tell old folks that.

@SuperMcha

Жыл бұрын

Reminds me of this quote - “Many times trauma in a person decontextualized over time can look like personality. Trauma in a family decontextualized over time can look like family traits, trauma decontextualized in a people over time can look like culture and it takes time to slow it down so you can begin to discern what’s what.” - Resmaa Menakem,

@alim.9801

Жыл бұрын

​@@SuperMcha that's a really great quote man thank you

Thank you for asking if tough love is nothing but dressed up trauma. I think it is. I'm not African-American, but I grew up with parents who bullied me. As an adult I saw this dynamic called out on "Arrested Development" and it's my favorite moment in the show. I've seen Lauryn's Apollo video before, and I felt so bad for her. As a singer, I could tell exactly what was happening. No matter how much you've trained, your nerves can betray you when you get in front of an audience. Your throat can dry up and tighten, and you don't sound good. Then you lose more confidence, and get more nervous, and it's a horrible feedback loop.

@sharonsOff

Жыл бұрын

This

@alisonmercer5946

Жыл бұрын

Tough love is bullshit

From 43:35 to 44:05 I felt that. It took me back to when i requested a day off from work, got all dressed up, drove over an hour to stand in line in the cold by myself to see Lauryn in concert. I went alone because everyone I asked to go with me already knew what I had to learn the hard way. After waiting for an hour the line started to dissolve as news spread that the show was cancelled. I looked around confused but held hope and stayed there until a random stranger looked me in the eyes and said bluntly "She ain't coming." So that part of your video stood out. She is a private person now and doesn't want anything to do with us. We need to take the hint.

@sand216

8 ай бұрын

I felt this; well said

I was warned many years ago by an older musician to never give away 100% of yourself to your audience, to always keep a little for yourself. At the time, I thought it was just the cynical rant of an old man. But now, after having had my own share of burnouts as a struggling independent artist, I understand and appreciate where he was coming from. It's an important thing for everyone to remember, regardless of your work: never ever give all of yourself away. Because at the end of the day, you're the one who has to go home and deal with your ego. And you need to be there for yourself, to live and dream another day. I think Lauryn revealed too much, thinking that total transparency is what is needed to make art. And sure it will produce amazing work. But opening those floodgates to total vulnerability just exposes yourself to a lot of toxic elements out there. People won't even realize at the time what they're letting in. I think Lauryn realized this a bit late but she shut it down as a survival mechanism. She had to live for herself, as more than an artist, but as a human being. And I'm glad that she did. Otherwise we would've lost her already. Sometimes you just have to say f off to the music and save yourself.

@lotrfan8

22 күн бұрын

Maybe it requires balance? Taylor Swift has epitomized the parasocial relationship, she's so open and honest in her songs that fans think that they know her personally

@harrisonburgeron

21 күн бұрын

@@lotrfan8taylor’s “vulnerability” has already begun to be her downfall… it’s just not going to hold up. As someone who was deep into the fandom and has begun to step outside a little bit lol

@alejandralopez6305

20 күн бұрын

I think about this too with amy winehouse, I think the back to black album killed her. She would go up on stage night after night singing her pain to people who just wanted catchy songs.

@Nyxthebat04

19 күн бұрын

@@alejandralopez6305 That's so sad.

It doesn't matter what critique you have of Lauryn's album. The one thing that is absolutely clear, is her incredible love for black people and black women in particular on her album. That's what allows it to stand the test of time, even when the politics goes stale, the love endures. Because love always endures.

@sassy1j102

Жыл бұрын

Absolutely. Her sound, image, her spirituality was not being dictated to from the "disconnected ones" that has no love for Black culture but want to appropriate and pillage. Lauryn Hill and Erykah Badu forever 💜

@Melkac

Жыл бұрын

But that isn't what the video is about...

@theorderofthebees7308

Жыл бұрын

So well said

@SmallBobby

Жыл бұрын

Yeah she loves black women so much she's willing to alienate and denigrate her black daughters. 🙄

@janaelove

Жыл бұрын

@@Melkac so what?

Mystery of Iniquity is a 💎. I don’t care how “preachy” people say she is/was, that song was a bomb of truth that still holds up today.

@Innerhoundbiscuit

9 ай бұрын

Yes sir!

@hellokevonti5211

Ай бұрын

Amazing song ❤

how can she look like THAT and sing/rap/arrange like THAT and write like THATTTT and still fall into bad relationships? is it because she lets them in? the emotion i feel for her now, i'm crying

@lobster7514

11 ай бұрын

it's sad but no matter how you look or how talented or smart you are as a woman, it's still so hard to have confidence and self respect. it's the way we're raised. i get tears in my eyes when i think about what she went through and how she felt

@kseniaverlaine

8 ай бұрын

Childhood trauma is the root of our unhealthy attachments and why we allow others to misuse us

@ichirosuzuki2252

8 ай бұрын

this isn't just a woman thing. The same is true of men that let themselves be mistreated@@lobster7514

@asinglebraincell6584

8 ай бұрын

It sucks.. Like I don't think their status or talent changes their emotional constitution, and there isn't really a safe space away from challenging relationships you don't create yourself. But that's what I think I know sort of thing..

@aw2584

7 ай бұрын

Lets them in would be more thing, but more likely she SEEKS them. As a child of an addict, abandoned by my father, both me and my sister went through years and years of teeeeeeerrrrible relationships because, in my case, regular girls would just... bore me, or I would think they don't like me that much. But give me a bipolar abusive girl that would tell me she loves me after a week of dating, and I'm all in babyyyyyy while normal people are like wtf is wrong with this person. My sister stopped dating for 5 years despite being genuinely a VERY attractive girl, and got herself a man who would be considered by most as average looking, with a regular job, but they clicked so much and he was just such a good, loving person, that they've been together for many years and she still talks about him as if they're in their honeymoon period. I'm still struggling, but she's a bit older than me so perhaps my time will come too. But yeah, point is its not even about allowing such people into our lives. We actively search for them and actively discard actual loving and good natured people because of our twisted understanding of what love is.

The idea that the success of 'Tough Love' could be attributed to survivor bias is something that we need to seriously grapple with.

@JC-yy8iv

Жыл бұрын

Damn that’s insightful

@TahtahmesDiary

Жыл бұрын

Well said!

@58209

Жыл бұрын

even as a white person that segment had me introspecting about my childhood (or lack thereof) because of my parents "tough love" pushing me to success, until i suddenly collapsed under the pressure.

@therabbithat

Жыл бұрын

maybe because I'm revising disorganized attachment I'm seeing it everywhere but.. is this disorganized attachment? Becoming the source of fear for the one you love and who depends on you

This guy I once saw do a lecture was a former social services worker, he was a licensed psychiatrist and nurse and had a degree in sociology. He was older, so, yeah, he'd managed multiple degrees. One of the things that made him turn lecturer for unemployed guys like me was that he'd gotten sick and tired of societal issues in home, workplaces, military etcetera. This was the mid-90's, so he was a bit ahead of the competition. Anyway, one thing he said resonated with me, and that was "Workplaces that say they're 'rough but hearty' are usually just bullying grounds where new guys get ground down until they're as abusive as everyone else." I didn't get it at the time. I later saw workplaces where this was definitely the case - the "tough love" these places practiced was just abuse, toxic as hell. All it did was weed out those who broke more quickly, turning those who broke slowly into more abusers. One of the things that gives me hope is that more and more kids these days are saying "No, this is wrong and toxic and we're not gonna take that shit. Be nice or GTFO." Because I grew up watching entire generations of working class people (and here is where this gets relevant, since the US has very deliberately kept the majority of black people lower working class) blindly believing in "tough love" and being abusive to each other. One guy saw me bleeding violently during work hours...and mocked me for being a loser. That was his idea of "how to solve workplace colleague bleeding out". "Tough love" has never existed. Someone invented it in order to convince poor people that it was okay they were being stomped on.

@MithMathy

Жыл бұрын

This idea of tough love is spread in many poor White circles through Church, too. It was clearly an idea first developed by a ruling class to help keep working people traumatized and traumatizing each other so we "stay in our lane". We don't have to accept it as part of anyone's culture.. it's just gotta go. It really is wonderful to see more and more people reject that ideology and even see it for what it is. It gives me so much hope for a better future!

@happygucci5094

Жыл бұрын

this

@TheNewgreatlife

Жыл бұрын

This instantly reminded me of my last job. The older people thought of the abuse as just a part of life necessary to endure to get through, but the Gen Z's who were a little younger than me would speak up when our managers tried to demand outrageous things. I'm glad this new generation is standing up and changing things that have been the norm for decades, albeit toxic norms. They are not afraid to challenge the system. I always thought it'd be us millenials to do that, but it seems to mostly be Gen Z pushing that notion. My job was definitely a bullying ground from the older people who'd been working there forever and they'd take advantage of you if they felt you were soft. I fell into and didn't even realize it until I left last year. I worked there a decade and endured so much bullshit.

@furiousstyles08

Жыл бұрын

One of the things that gives me hope is that more and more kids these days are saying "No, this is wrong and toxic and we're not gonna take that shit. Be nice or GTFO." To which too many of us oldheads respond, "These soft-ass kids today..." and further justify it.

@happygucci5094

Жыл бұрын

@@oku12 Big Facts. I am an old Millennial that stood up to this type of normalized bullying in the workplace and within my family and I was treated like I was just a crybaby troublemaker...um no, hell to the fudging no- this old school way of trial by unnecessary fire is NOT gonna fly with the younger generations and I FULLY support them.

As a massive fan of Lauryn Hill who is white, I find myself explaining to my friends a lot just how impactful and revolutionary she was/is and why. This video really gives me some incredible further context and nuance to her importance to the Black community so thank you. I’ve always seen her as such a voice for rebellion and protest but have a lot of trouble marrying that with these crazy and contstrictive religious views she has around morality, gender and sexuality. I saw her in 2017 in Atlanta and she was over an hour late and yelled at people for singing along. By the end of the concert i was at the front of the stage because so many people had left. Somehow i again purchased tickets to see the fugees reunion tour in 2021 but it ended up canceled. Honestly sometimes I’m glad she kind of disappeared from public eye instead of staying in it and deteriorating my ability to support her even further a La Kanye. I don’t think anyone with that much talent and power can ever be truly sane lol

@yomama2376

5 ай бұрын

Agree, always seems like the most talented will have a few screws loose. But you cant help but keep listening

Lauren Hill remains, to this day, one of our best and brightest. Her struggle is our struggle. So I will sit in my glass house and quietly work on my own shortcomings. Great video thank you for creating it

I remember the first time I saw Lauryn Hill, it was Sister Act II. Her beauty hit me like a kick in the gut, then her voice knocked me over! Needless to say, I was in love. I finally, FINALLY found a woman who checked all the marks for how I saw myself - dark skinned, natural hair, spiritual, and deeply musical. Lauryn made me love what I looked like! The day I purchased the Miseducation CD, I ran to my room in university, slipped it in the CD player, lay face down on the floor right in front of the player, lights off and didn't open my eyes until the whole CD was done. Her problematic personality broke my heart but guess what, none of us is perfect! I will forever love Lauryn while admitting that she is highly flawed - just like I am.

@happygucci5094

Жыл бұрын

Big Facts

@MichaelTurner856

Жыл бұрын

Cool story

@JNYC212

Жыл бұрын

Every thing I feel... Thank you for putting it into words.🙌🏽

@suezcontours6653

Жыл бұрын

We need to go underground again We don't need to be seen. I realize this. Black women, NOBODY deserves you so please stop looking for outward validation. We need to unite and go under the radar and communicate in code because everything we give is misappropriated, tarnished or copied without crediting us.

@katek.4692

Жыл бұрын

The Miseducation Album was the first CD that I bought or asked for *[I can't remember exactly-it’s been a hot-ass minute since those days, lol]* and to this day, it remains one of those few select albums that I consider to be impeccable from start to finish. Sister Act II was my initial introduction to Lauryn, though, as well; There are no words to describe that experience-only visceral emotions/reactions bubbling over from a profound place within. I haven't kept up with her personal life over the years, but I only wish and want the best for her and for her to acquire as much acceptance, healing, understanding, and tranquility as she can. This woman will forever be just different, in the best way, in my eyes, ears, heart, and soul-she touched all 4 a long, long time ago in a way that very few have.

That sense of not wanting a person's art if that art is what is destroying them is something I completely believe in. I had a conversation with some friends recently about the Harry Potter stunt double who was paralyzed as a result of an explosion during the filming process and my takeaway from it was effectively that I don't want big stunts in movies if they can't be done safely. Lauryn Hill's story is much more complex than that little snippet but emotionally it's a similar experience. As an audience, we are not owed entertainment at the expense of someone else's wellbeing. Money, time, effort, whatever maybe sure. Not their wellness.

@fusetunes

Жыл бұрын

I completely agree. I'm a huge fan of Marina and I've seen a bunch of people complaining that her music isn't as 'deep' as it used to be- but she's admitted that she used to be extremely unhappy in the past, and I'd rather an artist enjoy themselves than make 'better' art.

@loverboyclement6767

Жыл бұрын

I think a lot of beautiful art can come from pain, but what crosses the line for me is when people hurt themselves intentionally for the purpose of the art they’re creating.

@caitieeeee

Жыл бұрын

@@fusetunes reminds me of the weird reaction to Lorde's last album which, undoubtedly is different stylistically than her first two albums, is very beautiful and shows a level of healing and work on herself that she may have done since her last album. And fans were upset because she wasn't writing music about deep pain and poor coping mechanisms.

@Kknderbueno

Жыл бұрын

There’s a difference between art in and of itself destroying someone, and an accident occurring that causes injury. They should both be dealt with but the solutions may be different. The audience isn’t owed entertainment if someone chooses to leave, but I also don’t know if, for example, the Harry Potter stunt double would describe his life as “destroyed” or thinks he should never have been allowed to work the job he did if it was what he wanted to do. I can decide what to watch, but I don’t think it’s up to me to dictate whether or not the art is worth doing. That’s up to the artist imo.

@PatinaEdochie

Жыл бұрын

Agreed 💯🙏🏽

I've always really liked her unplugged performance. Sure it's raw and has some flubs, but it's also very intimate, has a lot of soul and shows a human being getting back in touch with what they love. How many artists today could you put on stage with a single acoustic guitar and have them produce the kind of sound that Lauryn Hill does here? I'm glad she released that record because it stands as testament to the fact that she is a true artist.

@Cartman-Official

6 ай бұрын

She was basically having a mental breakdown on stage etc idk how u ended up with that thought of yours

@BONGBUS

5 ай бұрын

@@Cartman-Official it's really different experience listening to the album and watching the performance, but I largely agree with OP

I get out off unplugged literally helped me walk out of an abusive relationship. I hate that people feel like if someone shares part of themselves as a gift just because you liked it or loved now they somehow deserve all of you

@risenshine888

8 ай бұрын

You get it.

I had the same feelings about Frank Ocean. Certain artists speak to us in a way that really makes us feel connected to them, but in reality, they don't owe us anything. Lauryn clearly had her own issues and its not our place as a general public to impede on that, no matter how much their art means to us. Its a weird feeling to accept, but its one we just have to deal with. But at least we can say we enjoyed the art while it was happening. -Terrence.

@person-fu1ex

Жыл бұрын

Idk if other people feel this way, but for Frank Ocean I feel like his separation from the public eye is something I appreciate. Like it makes me see him more as an individual and I respect the fact that he isn't this commercial icon. I also think it makes me cherish what he offered in his height more because he was willing to enter into the mainstream and face the harm the music industry often inflicts to deliver it. In a sense it kind of elevates these figures to god-like status though, because it shrouds them in mystery and lends more weight to anything they put out. I think the idea that they don't owe us anything is something that further influences this feeling that we don't deserve even what they have given and an inability to criticize them.

@lowlowseesee

Жыл бұрын

yeah same. frank is so ....i dont even consider him a fav yet really...but i wont even listen to his last album because it hurt so bad to listen to it. kind of why I dont listen to my fav artist of all time STEVIE WONDER.

@JTScott1988

Жыл бұрын

Nah I never felt like that with him as frank ocean. I liked him tho as his real name Lonny breaux

@alphalax7747

Жыл бұрын

@person Playboi Carti

@fredleeland2464

Жыл бұрын

Felt this way about Kendrick, then he dropped that gem of an album in 2022...guess he finds music therapeutic

Extremely elated that the Manosphere arc is dead; not because I didn't love it but now my good uncle doesn't have to subject himself to misogyny & 17hr hate streams anymore 😮‍💨

@jonathondoetsch9652

Жыл бұрын

I don't know how Uncle Fiq did it man, I can't even listen to Sneako for five minutes without losing my shit.

@easiersaidwithmeg

Жыл бұрын

@@jonathondoetsch9652 that’s how women felt from the jump

@Animefreak242

Жыл бұрын

Agreed.

@BRLambert4

Жыл бұрын

SAME! I have to leave those comments sections or I lose too much time arguing with people and wasting my damn day.

@angelaa7388

Жыл бұрын

I'm happy for him to be extracted from that space for a minute. But it is so important for men to speak up about how they see what's going on and it is very not okay. Bless Fiq!

I don’t think its fair to criticize her unplugged as an album or anything other than a raw set of unfinished work and trains of thought. There’s definitely many gems in there.

@Portugalian

Ай бұрын

That album was real af. It's in my rotation.. She's never been hard to love to me..

@shyneetaa

20 күн бұрын

The unplugged album is so amazing to me , it was so real and so raw and felt like it was us listening into her personal unsaid thoughts atm and conversations between her and GOD

Lauryn was a singular talent, unmatched since in terms of singing AND MC'ing ability. I'm glad you also shouted out the criminally underrated "The Carnival"

Lauren's role in ushering in the natural hair era and changing the aesthetics of black beauty, and femininity to be more inclusive and away from the (what I call) black skin, European featured beauty is undeniable. She felt like a contemporary Nina Simone, to me at 17 (before I knew who Nina was). Like the rest of us she is complex and complex is difficult when done in the view of everyone.

@animula6908

Жыл бұрын

Now that you mention it she is like a Nina simone of another generation.

@farahwork2552

Жыл бұрын

ugh i love both women

@LookToWindward

Жыл бұрын

Both her and Wyclef were way ahead of their time. Miss them both.

@becca1783

9 ай бұрын

She inspired my hair journey. I've had locs for almost 20 years now and afro before that and was getting teased now everyone is natural and/ or has locs.

@justafanofgorillaz

6 ай бұрын

Love Nina Simone

“What if Tough Love is just trauma we’ve mythologized as useful”. This question and the framing of this video is excellent. Thank you doing what you do!

@rydz656

11 ай бұрын

Keep making any excuse possible for failure at life.

@borger99

10 ай бұрын

@@rydz656keep preaching on behalf of your masters

@Ki_Thi

8 ай бұрын

Interesting and informed angle indeed !

@walkerwayz5039

5 ай бұрын

@@rydz656 Obviously, you have a lot of trauma that you have not dealt with so get some help..

@asheleybowles7038

5 ай бұрын

As an old Lauryn fan, thank you verbalizing what is hard to explain.

Those last comments circling back on tough love was, in fact, art. Absolutely brilliant work.

The miseducation of Lauryn Hill is a wonderful album and Doo Wop is a legendary track

I'm glad she is still with us. I'm considering the parallels between her and Amy Winehouse, and it's easy to see how things could have spiralled out even worse for her.

@fmlAllthetime

Жыл бұрын

@@sassy1j102 I mean... I think this also misses historical context and also misses that these people were _individuals_ from different cultures. You're doing, in your own way, what FD discusses at the beginning of the video, regarding not noticing those whom have fallen through the cracks and using an exception as the rule. And if that wasn't your intention, that's what it reads like ya know?

@nostromofidanza1502

Жыл бұрын

@@sassy1j102 You can praise women without tearing others down, you know? "Barely started to make waves" is a poor choice of words, for a woman whose sophomore album sold 16 million copies and couldn't leave the house without an army of Paparazzi on her feet - documenting every misstep. Your comment is also incredible dismissive towards anybody suffering from drug addiction. Overdoses have nothing to do with missing spirituality. That's just magic thinking on your side.

@gummy5862

Жыл бұрын

@@sassy1j102 Dude you're a trash human being. You're saying Amy Winehouse died because she didn't have the strength of a black woman? Get mentally evaluated.

@reynaxvx173

Жыл бұрын

@@nostromofidanza1502 Agreed. Thank you for saying this. I’m tired of people tearing others down to prove a point. It truly hurts seeing this.

@MegaIIII

Жыл бұрын

So you're not going to talk about how she abused her own daughter?

Now let's get a break down of the good bad and uncomfortably real career of Erykah Badu

@WindowsXP_logon_sound_25yrsago

Жыл бұрын

Duuude. Where is she today?? She was way up there for a while. I remember Erykah Badu very well. I remember watching her on MTV and going out to get her CD. I'd love to find up what she's up to now, if she still performs or not.

@smoothness81580

Жыл бұрын

@@WindowsXP_logon_sound_25yrsago lol Erykah is off minding the business that pays her. Badu World!

@horizonkyun7203

Жыл бұрын

@@smoothness81580 supporting r.kelly and saying little girls need dress codes so they don’t distract teachers

@nenej12

Жыл бұрын

They say erykah had a issue with being late as well lol

@Ellerich3

Жыл бұрын

@@nenej12 yesss!!! I am Still to this day soooo disappointed n Ms Badu and that was 4 years ago..I went to go see her when she was on tour with Nas 4 years ago in Atlanta at State Farm Arena, and she was 3 hours late-she only Performed for 30 mins before her mic was turned off and everyone was told to leave.

With all the distance, Lauryn Hill's story echoes that from Avicii to me. The guy had his own connection with music, and was just passionate about creating it, but hated about performing in front of thousands. The industry just focused on the profits they could extract from him, and forced him to overload (and eventually die). They saw him as a product, not as a human being with emotional needs. I feel some of this (in addition to many other things that you mentioned) is going here. A clash between an artist sensibility and what the industry expects to obtain through her, no matter the cost imposed on her.

@Ozubura

6 ай бұрын

Wake Me Up is very reminiscent of The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill.

“In a way, it’s just me offering a bit of *tough love*” What a way to bring that sentiment back around, full circle. This was a great analysis/ breakdown of Ms. Hill.

FD editing out his "Back in my day" segments is the ultimate reason why he's a goat on KZread.

@nehesimazoi3776

Жыл бұрын

Good editing *is* Tough (Self) Love!

@zainmudassir2964

Жыл бұрын

but I wanna know!😭

@cadb8

Жыл бұрын

I laughed at the "it takes too long to explain, you had to be there" He might not make a ton of jokes, but the few he sprinkles in the videos are so good

Ah, the infamous "tough love" BS that almost destroyed me. I am not even sure how I managed to move past it in my 20s. My friends would say "tough situations make you resiliant" but at some point it can make you break. I am so grateful I broke that cycle so my kid will learn better coping mechanisms to navigate through life. Ok-- back to this incredibly awesome video.

@riledmouse4677

Жыл бұрын

I remember asking an older friend of mine, who’d been through hell and back, what she thought of the idea that “whatever doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger.” She looked me dead in the face and said it was the stupidest thing she’s ever heard. Life can break us and - at best - we’re left wounded and scarred as a result. It’s the good, soul-connection parts and the healing that make us stronger.

@jaccl4539

Жыл бұрын

sounds soft to me - being upset about challenges you feel you didnt need to survive when those responsible for you were building you up to survive a harsher reality. That has nothing to do with your feelings and your proving why tough love is necessary - You dont want the tools to survive or thrive and upset you were forced to have the tools to because your life was better and you never actually had to use the skills. It simply misses all context of what tough love is and its purpose. I am willing for you to hate me to keep you alive and your upset you didnt think you were mentality capable to survive. Yes there is consequences to all of that but we keep acting like there some type of equal equivalent and there not.

@Moszan

Жыл бұрын

@@jaccl4539 What's so soft about that?

@jaccl4539

Жыл бұрын

@@Moszan "being upset about challenges you feel you didnt need to survive when those responsible for you were building you up to survive a harsher reality."

@GretchenV95

Жыл бұрын

@@jaccl4539 There’s nothing “soft” about acknowledging that you weren’t taught how to cope with unnecessary hardships in a healthy manner. This world and the people in it could use a little “softness”. Yeah, it’s possible to learn a lot about yourself through horrible/hard experiences but it shouldn’t be seen as necessary or the norm.

Lauryn's music is the soundtrack to very nostalgic childhood memories... I'll always appreciate her for her music and her contributions to culture. That's my love for her and it's not tough to give at all.

@CiaoColeG

Жыл бұрын

💯 I heard Ex-Factor for the hundredth time the other day a burst into tears.

Your vocal tone combined with your diction also the rhythm is so calming yet commands attention I think your skill for writing and speaking is quite amazing !

In her peak Lauryn was a huge icon. Not only for the African American community. The whole world fell in love with her. I was a white college boy in South America and I was deeply in love with her, with the idea of her. I’m now thinking there might be a clue somewhere there of the pressure she probably felt under. She was in a way the idealized black girlfriend of the world, including white people, white America, who by fetishizing her were indirectly telling all Black women: “look at her, that’s how you gotta be, that’s how we want all Black women to be. Don’t be like Kim and Foxy, be like Lauryn”. Not even Beyoncè was ever put in that position. Maybe Lauryn, knowing how deeply inside she was imperfect, couldn’t handle such pressure.

@bradleybrown8428

Жыл бұрын

I don't want to be negative in this comment section but please remember that America isn't the world, I doubt the hole world knew who she was. I'm glad she impacted your life in a posative way but yeah; please remember that america isn't the world.

@toomuchdata

Жыл бұрын

@@bradleybrown8428 I'm very well aware of that. I clearly say that I'm from South America (Argentina to be precise). I grew up, and at the time I lived, thousands of miles away from the United States, in a different culture, with a different language. And I say that to point out exactly how impactful she was even internationally. She was huge outside of the US as well.

@hopewhitten9775

Жыл бұрын

@@bradleybrown8428 I feel like you didn't read their whole message 💀

@ginapayne744

Жыл бұрын

Not the whole world... I was never really a fan.

@toomuchdata

Жыл бұрын

@@ginapayne744 😂😂😂

I still remember where I was when I first heard Killing Me Softly. It was in the restaurant of the campground my family and I were spending our summer vacation at. I was watching some older kid playing on the World Cup '94 pinball machine, and he actually paused playing.

@BeastNationXIV

Жыл бұрын

Think i remember, some time in DC on a trip, dad took us to visit his side of the family. Some time in 96, and i heard it a lot since then...in Washington state. ❤️

My parents named me after Lauryn Hill because of the love they felt for each other and felt when they listened to her music. They felt like it expressed how they felt about each other and how they felt about me, even though they didnt know me. My dad ended up raising me a single father for most of my childhood and listening to Lauryn Hill was like getting a kiss on the cheek from my mother. She will never understand how her music impacts generations of people. I’m 23 by the way.

tough love is outdated. 2023 and beyond I'm loving everyone gently and with kindness. its very true that the world won't coddle you, but i think you need to feel a gentle kind of love so you know it doesn't HAVE to be that way. and so you know people have the capacity to do more than love with one hand and hurt with the other, because we can use both hands to love and there never has to be a space for harshness. the world won't be gentle with you- so i will.

The “we have to work twice as hard to get half as much” seems to harp on that tough love in that we continue the cycle of abuse instead of changing it and ending it.

Lauryn got sued because she didn’t credit her co-composers and musicians. It’s a bit more than bandmates. What appears was that she wanted to have the highly coveted genius label (written, composed, played by). There’s an episode of behind the keys by James Poyser where he relates (as kindly as possible) how the mystification happened. Lauryn used FUBU talk to be just another oppressive capitalist. I have family members who are musicians for touring artists. Twenty years ago, one of them told me that a lot of vet black musicians did not want to work with Lauryn because of the way she would treat collaborators. Heck, there’s even a rumour that there was supposed to be a band for the MTV unplugged. More recently, very famous musicians (Glasper among them) have explained what’s going on with the lateness and whole bad vibes around her shows. Last minute hires, unprofessionalism, pay cut in half the day before the show. Also the reason why what you hear during the concert is not the same version that you heard on Miseducation ? She still does not want her cocreators on the album to receive checks. I really loved Lauryn Hill, but this is ugly.

@AbsentMinded619

Жыл бұрын

There’s no boogeyman political system that makes people selfish; that’s human nature. People want to be seen as geniuses, and often labels benefit from their stars being seen as geniuses. Very simple human self-interest. The same reason communist leaders invariably give themselves all of “the people’s” riches. Madonna stole credit for songwriting. Nearly all of them do it. In most cases they just legally pay others extra to take credit for their talent. Nearly every celebrity author uses ghostwriters.

@thejamnasium6447

Жыл бұрын

I was writing up my own response and I'm so glad I scrolled down and read this. 100% spot on. I think she's a talented woman who found herself in the right place and right time and with the right people when recording Miseducation. The studio musicians wrote legitimately that whole album and she didn't give them any credit. There's no excuse for that. Plus you add in her obvious disdain for her fans and refusing to show up on time and all that, and just, yeah.

@camipco

Жыл бұрын

Agreed. And this is not an excuse, but certainly from the history I can see how a black woman would go into the music industry in America with an attitude of "I'm going to do everything I can to get everything I deserve". But yeah, that shouldn't be at the expense of other artists.

@j7th389

Жыл бұрын

It sad cuz the only dark skinned black woman that was honored and is considered a legend is a fraud

@720zaka

Жыл бұрын

@@j7th389 That does not make her a fraud. Lauryn Hill is a genius. And maybe she took advantage of all the goodwill that genius can gather. She's far from the only one in that case.

"Drink more alkaline water and vibrate at a higher frequency" 😂😂😂 This is a ROAST! Amazing how you deliver it with such seriousness. Good work

Nahhhh that unplugged performance was so damn powerful and raw, like what else does she owe you lmao

what if we made our communities a safe space for Black kids could come back to rather than a bed of thorns to callous us before encountering racism? just a thought.

@bmwjourdandunngoddess6024

Жыл бұрын

Yuppppp

@DifferentPersonnn

Жыл бұрын

Yh what if...but we won't. Our communities bring women up to disrespect the other gender and turn down any men that isn't a thug. We have to be hard and destructive to our community, that's if you want to be noticed in our community. How about just having kids out of the community?

@bunnywavyxx9524

Жыл бұрын

@@DifferentPersonnn Our communities raise men to forever be not accountable, there's nobody but the thugs. They don't value manners, respect or fatherhood. The women are tired of being strong, tired of dealing with ride-or-die love, violence, and assault from the men who can't fight the oppression they are complaining about if the women suffer. Tough love is a product of seeing these behaviors and trying to beat it out, but it only replicates the same violence that is already evident.

@DifferentPersonnn

Жыл бұрын

@@bunnywavyxx9524 men don't

@DifferentPersonnn

Жыл бұрын

@@bunnywavyxx9524 have wombs

Thanks to CJ the X for the "10,000" votes for this and F.D. for nailing it yet again. I wanted the Lauryn Hill video to happen, now it has. Yes, absolutely bittersweet.

@JulianSteve

Жыл бұрын

Same here, Alexandra. Thank you to CJ the X for his star power on KZread🙌🏾‼️

Thank you for this. I attended the Lauryn Hill and the Fugees reunion tour this weekend in LA and I am still so moved and inspired to have witnessed the greatness of these cultural icons together again after all this time. I was explaining Lauryn's story to my bestfriend and I was so emotional. I understand her struggle in a different way, as an artist and as a Black woman. But one thing is for certain, her talent was and is still unmatched. I'm grateful to have witnessed her rise and her struggle, and alll in all, I have so much respect and compassion for her as an artist. ❤ I also enjoyed the unplugged album and performance. Her raw authenticity gave us a glimpse into the woman behind the persona. Its hard for us to imagine artist on their off days, when they are low and things are heavy. But she gave it to us. It was a beautiful mess , but it was full of honesty, and her new found freedom to just be. I will always be a fan, and supportive of her work.

Best flow and cadence out of any female hip-hop artist ever

If it helps anyone, Lauryn Hill is still inspiring people. I am 16 years old, I haven't witnessed Lauryn Hill as a public figure ever, yet Miseducation is one of my favorite pieces of art ever made and it has helped me through so much. Everything Is Everything is maybe the entire reason I survived the covid lockdown, and my love for that album was my motivation to seek out her as a person and her other work. I didn't discover the idol I wanted to, I discovered a real person, with all the things that means. This video is great, it is an icredible nuanced take that I whole-heartedly agree with and support, but just know that there IS a legacy, Lauryn Hill will not fade away, because you know I will force my children to listen to this in the car. Much love.

@derekcarney

Жыл бұрын

And don't miss out on Lose Myself from a film soundtrack. That's her diamond imo.

@jadriennehoneybadger5414

Жыл бұрын

"Killing Me Softly" was a song that they played on multiple different types of radio stations, which was not heard of in 96

@aeugenegray

Жыл бұрын

It certainly is one of the most important hip hop albums ever made. As someone why was in my mid teens during that timeframe, moving from a rural suburban upbringing to a number of inner cities. It made me better able to grasp the reality of what I was seeing. Why things were so much different than I had known growing up, more easily about to integrate into a culture I had only heard of on records.

@Reesispiecis

11 ай бұрын

That’s does help. Thank you 💕

@Shenieta

8 ай бұрын

❤❤❤

Just chiming in, in '96 I was a very-grunge white kid with feet deep in the underground jungle scene, and I remember "killing me softly" feeling like a game-changer. Like, it was so powerful it reached out to completely different universes.

@characterchange6793

Жыл бұрын

Honestly, "Jungle scene" threw me off. Please don't.

@ogami1972

Жыл бұрын

@@characterchange6793 gfy

@vxcvxmcrposfdsdfulpdfg

Жыл бұрын

Are you, like. Referring to "Jungle Scene" as in liquid drum and bass or as in referring to black people. Because if its the latter instead of the former what the fuck dude

@geekylove3603

Жыл бұрын

Jungle or drum and bass in a form of dance music from the UK. There was a mix of killing me softly.

@ogami1972

Жыл бұрын

@@geekylove3603 yes, but i was just commenting that one could be extremely distant from hip-hop in '96 and still have felt the effect of "miseducation"

I don’t think I’m even close to watching every single one of your videos FD but I’ve seen a bunch and this is the most heartbreaking one by far. Lauryn’s relationship to music, to the music industry, to her fans, the fans relationship to Lauryn, to her music, her relationship with her band, with her children, etc. it all is so relatable yet devastating in a way.

Lauryn leaving music reminded me of Nina Simone and her similar exodus from the music industry. That MTV Unplugged in particular reminded me of this live show of Nina Simone you can watch here on YT, I believe it's in France or Germany, but Europe to be sure. She had left her husband and moved back to Africa for several years, quitting the music industry after having suffered years of abuses. After all of that though she still wanted to play Piano, and she could feel herself being forgotten almost, so she goes and performs this beautiful concert, and throughout it, it's her first time performing in years, she keeps having these little talks with the audience that sounded so similar to that quote from Lauryn, where she is just speaking of how happy it made her to stop playing piano, and how over the years she had grown to despise playing the piano, but that in itself brought her such pain because music was something that originally brought her such happiness. Would be very interested in seeing an analysis on Nina Simone, she is my favourite pianist and vocalist of all time, and I really would be interested in a long ass video essay talking about her, but maybe that is just me lol

I thought I knew an okay amount with how Lauryn struggled, but this is the first time I've ever heard she had six kids. That's incredibly hard on a person's body, I can't imagine the amount of struggle she went through doing all of this /and/ having six kids. That's wild to me.

@kuunami

Жыл бұрын

After having 6 kids it must look like Bohr's Head roast beef down there.

@graaaaaaaaaaaaaaace

Жыл бұрын

@@kuunami gross dude wtf

@ysaethwr

Жыл бұрын

@@kuunamiwtf is wrong with you

@brennam954

Жыл бұрын

@@kuunami You sound like a virgin who struggles finding women due to your own toxicity. That's all I got from your ignorant comment.

@Tusisvrivhing

Жыл бұрын

@@kuunami yikes, the saddest thing is I knew there would be some gross objectification going on in the comments…

The fact that she is not only once in a generation level talented but also drop dead gorgeous is a lot for anyone to handle. Especially once you’re thrust into the limelight

@RedceLL1978

7 ай бұрын

Ehh. A lot of artists are as talented as her and as beautiful and don't affect fans the way she does. I feel like your comment displaces blame. In light of recent developments wherein she basically tried to treat her own fans as if they were entitled for expecting her to show up on time rather than ALL OF THE THOUSANDS OF THEM be expected to stand there waiting for up to an hour or more, I'm sorry. Whatever her trauma might've been or her dispositions are, she doesn't get a pass when everyone else doesn't for acting that way. If anything, when you're a rich celebrity, you have easier access to better resources that are designed to help alleviate mental health struggles. Lauren Hill isn't some special little sparkle that should be excused due to her disposition. Everyone should be held to the same standards for decency as each other. Equally. Nobody should get a pass. In short, you don't get to be a royal B just because you're famous and pretty. Imagine even thinking that's a logical conclusion to make.

@carlitos366

6 ай бұрын

​@RedceLL1978 right. The hardships she's experienced in life, that sucks and that's valid. But like he said, at some point you have to realize you're not 23 anymore. Lauryn has to take responsibility for her actions, just like everyone else. You don't get to be a shitty person and avoid growing just because you made one of the best projects of all time.

The hardest part is having to accept that an artist that played such an instrumental role in your personal growth as a human, just isn't that person anymore.

I completely agree with you on Killing Me Softly. I was an infant in 1996 but when I heard it years later I literally stopped in my tracks just like you did. I immediately knew this was one of the best songs I’d ever heard.

Growing up watching sister act 2 i was just mesmerized by her unapologetically black beauty and mannerisms. And then hearing her sing and rap. She had the world in her hands at that time. Such a rare talent. Happy that we were able to experience her, however short lived it may have been

@JulianSteve

Жыл бұрын

I need to watch Sister Act 2. I am so behind… Then again, I was born in 1998😅

@bpnation37

Жыл бұрын

@@JulianSteve i was born in 92. Everyone in my house loved that movie. We know all the songs lol

@Joy.W.

Жыл бұрын

@@JulianSteve I was born in 2006 and that was one of the movies I grew up watching

'Healthiness and wholeness, if she can't get that and make art at the same time, I don't want her art' wow so well said.

The tragedy and also the very true trauma orientated situation with Lauryn Hill when she was singing at 13 and was booed by the audience ; reminds me of the high expectations that some people put up on their children . Bill Cosby put this same pedestal of perfection towards his TV children on The Cosby Show and did exactly the same thing with his real wife children by imposing each of their names starting with the letter e for excellence and forcing that standard upon them. Once for example Cosby gave his so-called "tough love "to a young man and college by humiliating him because he had a c average and literally telling him that he shouldn't be in college with a gray point average that" low". This was young student who actually admired Bill Cosby and the best way that Bill Cosby could have done to give him love was to encourage him and to tell him how wonderful it is that he is in college and to encourage him to do better. I think that would have worked but this young man in the long run. Instead of shaming him. And humiliating him.

There's nothing that can ever be said that will make me love her any less, Lauryn was and still is human whatever good or bad she has done we have done in our own ways I appreciate and love her music and my coming daughter will be named after her.

Yeah, this is a good video. My mom was relentless with her tough love shit and within a few years at around the age of 7 or 8 it just turned into "getting drunk and beating the fuck out of me" instead of anything even remotely useful. We were rich and everything, my dad got her whatever she wanted, she just... realized she didn't like me as much as she thought she did. We stopped being rich and lots of time passed but only after I started showing signs of becoming successful (I was a dreaded "Gifted Chyld", lord fucking help me) did she toss out a token apology, but by then she was content with trying to hurt and offend me everytime we spoke and the apology itself all just came out... disgusting and mutated. I told her a week ago the truth of what I thought of her and even though I explicitly stated that I do not hate her she decided to cut her loses and just pretend I no longer existed instead of face whatever perceived humiliation awaited her. In a way my childhood was a lot like going through some kind of military training; I learned to check my food before eating it cause she liked to put inedible stuff in it like pieces of pencils and paper if she thought I was eating too much (she also loved to call me every fat name in the book, it would actually be pretty funny via absurdism if it werent a grown ass person saying it to a fuckin baby), I grew a phobia of people walking behind me because... well, thats where suckerpunches, chokeholds, trips and slams come from, and I learned how to fight from an extremely early age. I never dreamed of putting my hands on her cause I knew she'd kill me but I became so good at dodging and predicting swings that she eventually told me straight up to my face that she felt bad for me cause "the only way you learned how to dodge like that was from me". There are quite a few other things I know how to do because of my childhood but this comment is long and stupid enough so I'll cut it here. And, although useful for surviving my childhood, none of my involuntary defensive mechanisms help me at all in my relationship. Been in a long term relationship with my best friend of 10 years who came out to me and confessed in 2016 and I STILL have random bursts of rage, distrust and sometimes delusional thoughts (on top of such stupid shit as not letting him walk behind me or flinching whenever he raises his hand whenever I'm not looking right at him/out of the corner of my eye). He's the only reason I'm still alive, so to see that I can't even tell myself to stand down and act fuckin normal around him is humiliating. He says he loves me unconditionally but man I wish he still didn't have to put up with it, he deserves better. Aight, I'm done talking, get the fuck up on outta here and back to ya life

@riledmouse4677

Жыл бұрын

Profoundly moving comment.

@MJ-gm7km

Жыл бұрын

What a horrific upbringing! I’m glad you found love after all of that because that’s exactly what will help you heal. I know it’s so helpful to have someone who knows you and is there for you. Be patient with yourself and let him love you anyway. In time, your subconscious will catch up with your conscious mind and know that you’re safe with him.

@escobarines

Жыл бұрын

Hi there, this comment is not at all stupid, and if it helped you reflect a bit I'd say that is well worth it. You are incredibly resilient and brave to be here and willing to love after all that and you had no say in the matter. I understand how it could feel "humiliating" when your instincts kick in, but that's probably the harsh way you learned to see yourself in... not reality. It's not humiliating, or embarrassing. It sounds like your partner doesn't mind, like he understands. That means it's acceptable then. I don't know if I misread what you wrote, but just in case, you don't have to beat yourself up for having these defenses up. You were forced to build them unwillingly, to survive - and bc of how the human brain develops, you can learn new strategies and strengthen them with practice, but you cannot really erase old patterns. It must be super frustrating not to be able to shake them off, of course, but I just want you to know, that happens because you are human, it's nothing to be ashamed of. I think you can be very proud of leading a good life, you moved on as best as you could and you are not causing the same kind of pain on someone else. It's quite exceptional, really. Stay strong!

@Blue_Lunacy

Жыл бұрын

I hope you would consider going to a therapist, if you have not already seeing one, to work through your traumas.

@whineygenz5747

Жыл бұрын

I felt this in every way, my mother is a fucking monster. And in the same way you spoke of your mother shaming and putting things in your food struck a chord w me. She gets a blue xan prescription and she used to slip it in our food, by the time I realized what was up i was 12 with an addiction. The only reason I even noticed was because I went to a friends house through a weekend and wasn’t able to deal with anything due to withdrawals that I didn’t even know I had. Which led to years of an addiction and due to the severe beatings I deal with chronic pain. Like she would full on slam me like I was a WWE wrestler when I was like 5. I’m sorry if anyone else relates to this, but honestly it makes me feel better no matter what I went through someone is going through or did go through something similar; to know we aren’t alone. 🖤 it gets better once you get away and while trauma isn’t great, you’re never alone. Even if you don’t know them; there’s someone out there with your struggle❤

Maybe if FD was vibrating at a higher frequency he’d understand why Lauren is always late. 😅

@copiouscat

Жыл бұрын

🤣😆

This is probably the best love letter I've ever seen. Not that I go around reading love letters, but I bet they're usually not this good. Can't relate on feeling anything so deep and positive ever from a song or singer, I'm a bit jealous about that. No matter how much it urges me now to go listen to her songs, it's no good, I'm not getting a piece of those feelings, lol.

Lauryn is a great example of public people we want to love because of what they mean to us, but also realizing that maybe they’re not a good person.

This is a fantastic video. Can't describe what it is, but the editing, the pacing, the way you set up that pay off when Lauren Hill performs at the Apollo. Damn good stuff.

@fmlAllthetime

Жыл бұрын

Wow, subscribed to you both for your excellence in writing and your deep insight into the human condition. Would've never thought to see you here, but ya know... considering your subject matter and approach to tough topics it makes sense that I would see you both on the same video.

@kianathompson8906

Жыл бұрын

@gnome from pinkerton first video I've ever watched of his and I immediately followed

I'm literally a 21 year old middle eastern girl from Iran and I didn't know a whole lot about Kanye or Nicki or Lauren Hill before I started watching your videos on them but I relate so bad and Idk maybe it's because even though I wasn't their fan like you or others were .. I feel for you guys and your idols. btw just yesterday I accidently came across Killing me softly for the first time and then you made this video, we have happy accidents :) this was one. p.s. I love Nina Simone and she is one of my idols I don't know if you want to or not but I really would love to see a F.D. video on her..

@mapitizat

Жыл бұрын

I think the struggles they go through publicly and the message they either embody or speak on are universal to some degree. That's why we can relate to these figures in some way or form.

@moisesmontecillo7570

Жыл бұрын

Damn, is Iran still going brazy?

killing me softly was a CLASSIC still is forever stamped

Amazing video. I'm a older millennial as well so I remember all the things you do, except I'm not black, so I couldn't imagine just how much deeper she could sing into my soul if I were. I think Lauryn Hill was the first unapologetic black artist I ever got to experience, and she blew me away. She was so beautiful and talented, we all fell in love. That being said, I always just imagined she suffered from mental illness as she grew older. I couldn't consider all your points from the black perspective about tough love and how it could have resulted in that toxic relationship she developed with her art, and the toxic relationship she now has with her fans. This has been really eye opening, and from the bottom of my heart, I really hope she can find happiness. That's really all I want from her, she doesn't need to do anything more. I still regularly listen to The Score, but now I'm going to listen to Miseducation again for the first time in over a decade. Thanks for the video.

I was basically still figuring out coloring in the lines when Lauryn Hill was really big and I never realized just how *young* she was when she won all those Grammys. I can't imagine that level of massive success is easy when you're in your early 20s.

Ms Lauryn Hill is one of the biggest 'What Ifs' in music. I 100% agree with you on her verse on Nobody, but these lyrics always play in my head: "They tried to box me out while taking what they want from me. I spent too many years living too uncomfortably, making room for people who didn't like the labor but wanted the spoils, greedy, selfish behavior."

@mushmouf1400

Жыл бұрын

Just listen to guarding the gates

@Don.M.

Жыл бұрын

Same with Nobody, but literally everything else she skillfully poured out into that verse has to get overlooked because of the problematic "Lateness" line...

I appreciate the compassionate and honest way you talked about her. Thank you for making this ❤

When this song came out, I’d just graduated from high school. I remembered hearing my dad’s old records, and knew I’d heard this before. I went digging and found his Roberta Flack. Both versions were equally beautiful. The Miseducation of Lauren Hill was and remains one of the most beautiful albums I’ve ever heard in my life.

My favorite part of the manosphere arc was when fiq unlocked his latent potential and fired a anti-hegemonic counter black excellence kamehameha at Kevin Samuels. I can’t wait to see what this next one entails

@RMarr-uy9hf

Жыл бұрын

Mine was the stream troll video he did, it was genuinely funny 🤣

@OGKWAM

Жыл бұрын

No filler, straight action

@Deemo202

Жыл бұрын

Fiq used his Kamehameha to grind on the Manosphere and blew Kevin Samuel’s away.

@bmwjourdandunngoddess6024

Жыл бұрын

ICONIC!😫

@paintitblack9712

Жыл бұрын

Tirrrrrrrrrrrbbbbbbb!✌️🖤

Summer of 1996 ruined my life you were so spot on with that. I feel like I need to send this video to every therapist I have in the future when I explain to them that seeing someone as insanely talented and beautify not get their flowers growing up definitely did something to my development.

The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill & Sister Act 2 were big parts of my childhood. No doubt if Lauryn decided to drop an album tomorrow, it would break the internet. But after seeing this video, I don’t blame her from walking away from the mess that is the music industry. The fact that Miseducation still has staying power even almost 30 years later proves that Lauryn Hill has talent. The first part of the video explains why my parents, more so my mom, discouraged me from getting into the music industry. It’s not only the exploitation that happens with a lot of these companies, I think it was more so the toxic tough love system. But in as much as they tried to shield me from it, I probably was still affected by it. Tough love culture even existed in martial arts and immigrant cultures. I often had (and still sometimes have) the strange wish to have legitimacy of my talent challenged by having a Simon Cowell-like figure or booing crowd destroy me so that I know that I had a “legit excuse” to give up on the dream even though I know deep down that’s not what I actually want. But because of tough love culture and tabloid hit pieces that have harmed black celebrities in the past along with the American sense of having to go above and beyond, any praise seems to have a caveat attached to it. I wish there was a lot more grace given to artists. More of them would still be here if they were.

@edwardianturner7853

Жыл бұрын

Facts I basically said the same thing just ❤❤❤❤

Just saw Lauryn perform with the Fugees in Memphis, on May 4, 2024. She was on time and brilliant. Seemed to enjoy herself too. Here’s hoping things have changed.

The idea that the ultra talented only perservered in spite of tough love rather than thriving because of it is really important.

Seeing Kurt Cobain in the MTV unplugged section made me remember that "tough love" did not work for him either, it literally killed him (in form of cold turkey rehab, now medicine scientifically knows its not the right treatment). Courtney Love words that "tough love" was always bullshit from his eulogy can't escape my head (i can confirm that it harms you in the long run and I can only feel compassion for Lauryn and many others)

@maryshelley3204

Жыл бұрын

I don’t think that’s an accurate analogy. Courtney pushed for the intervention and stayed as far away from a ‘suicidal husband’. There are forensic questions around his death. But yes, tough love against the cash cow in your life is a bad move, always. Lauren and Kurt deserved better.

@mophead_xu

Жыл бұрын

wait, cold turkey's bad? is it just for specific forms of addictions or pretty much everything across the board? (as in, the psychological addictions vs. the ones that actually alter you biologically.)

I personally felt like the root of all her problems were those icky dudes that she dated and becoming a single mom at that age. We've seen it happen before to many successful and talented women , And how a lot of those men in their lives secretly envied them and wanted to slow them down basically by giving them pregnancies 💭 (just like what we're seeing with Halle Bailey currently)

@DarkroomMedia007

6 ай бұрын

Yes, indeed, they are some slimy dudes out here. That will put that anchor on a woman and make her a baby mama to slow her down as well As a woman will trap a man with a baby, so it's a two way street. Getting married before anchoring down with a baby is the best Insurance policy. I can think of to prevent this however, Women like Lauren Hill and plenty of others in the music industry. Don't want a traditional family. It app3ars these "type" of women are soo thirsty, So desperate For fame and recognition for their art or craft, They mixed it up with terrible men who will give them attention and leveling up on the resources and opportunities they bring that they will risk it all. I don't fully blame the men or the women. It is just a combustible relationship contract that consenting adults engaged in and it didn't go well. These people are very anti traditional values and they are constantly seeing the rotten fruits of what that pass will bring. Some of these people live such FRINGE lifestyles (alternative, polyamourous, hedenistic) that they don't know what's wrong or right, Their moral compass is constantly Rotating back and forth. The entertainment industry is basically influenced by satan. They really don't care about God or family which is supposed to be most important. But alas, They chose this path and they are dealing with the consequences. I wish all of them the best and hope people get therapy and healing.

@BobbyKennedy-ss5ts

6 ай бұрын

You're wrong, she CHOSE to be with those "icky dudes"; so the consequences she incurred are her fault. Women can't be victims and empowered at the same time.

@solido888

6 ай бұрын

But she dated them. That does not absolve her of responsibility.

@Tusisvrivhing

3 ай бұрын

@@BobbyKennedy-ss5tsdisagree, you definitely can be empowered (or view yourself to be) AND be a victim. You are right that she did choose to be with them, but we can point out a very clear pattern.

@BobbyKennedy-ss5ts

3 ай бұрын

@@Tusisvrivhing "viewing yourself" to be empowered and actually being empowered are totally different.

I actually looooooved the MTV Unplugged album. It’s the type of music with depth that listening to it a few times you can hear new gems in the lyrics each time you listen , instead of being gimmicky and having catchy hooks

@stephaniemalcolm1476

5 ай бұрын

It was ethereal and spiritually deep … it was a prayer as an album. It’s wasn’t for us because she was talking to God.

I've witnessed this notion of "tough love" even in my own Samoan culture. Part of it was both having to do and "perform" acts of service to serve the church, and also the abundance of transparency within these church communities - so "appearing" as the perfect (nuclear) family was more important. This appearance of being a 'perfect' or stable family in thw church has lead to many first hand accounts of witnessing "tough love"/borderline abuse - and it was tougher for those families who had "gifted" children, seeing bouts of definite abuse only later to project that trauma through humor and entertainment or worse, crime and abuse.

@paultapping9510

Жыл бұрын

"spare the rod and spoil the child" and all that, I do wonder if the actual link here is the church, or christian belief more generally. That and dealing with the ramifications of colonialism, I suppose.

@furiousstyles08

Жыл бұрын

Black guy here; was just wondering how "tough-love" shows up in other BIPOC cultures while watching this. Thx.

@bisexualmajima

Жыл бұрын

​@@paultapping9510 most of Samoa (and the wider community) is deeply catholic so I'd say yes

@AbsentMinded619

Жыл бұрын

Pre-Christian cultures were (and generally are) orders of magnitude worse, and that should be common sense. It helps to deep-dive into history for some perspective. The Mayans literally tortured children before sacrificing them because they believed that kids’ tears pleased the gods. Most pre-Christian cultures killed or tossed aside unwanted or imperfect babies or toddlers. In the parts of the world farthest removed from Christianity you’ll find the most abhorrent abuse and mistreatment of kids: temple prostitution, child slaves, FGM, etc.

Lauryn Hill was an icon of my childhood (pre-teen/teenage years). She was beautiful, talented, cool, respected -- all the things a young black girl wants to be in those years of her life. I feel blessed that I got to see her live during the Miseducation era

I love all your videos. If i had money i would definitely invest, donate, support this channel. Keep up the great work.

This video answered so many questions my teen self craved. It was so well done and respectful! Thank you