"IS MY Sociopath SISTER/BROTHER JEALOUS?" | Psychotherapy Crash Course

Who wants to believe that a sibling has it out for us?
Who wants to believe that a sibling would do anything in their capacity to create a difficult life for us?
Siblings are wonderful human beings to have in your life if that relationship is healthy, equal, and supportive.
But when it's calculating, manipulative, and harmful, things MUST change. Sociopath siblings with traits of narcissism can ruin your life for the rest of your life --- depending on what they do to you.
In this video, I discuss the unfortunate and often painful experience of having a sibling who may qualify for a diagnosis of Antisocial personality or Narcissistic personality disorder.
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#trauma #SOCIOPATH
#tamarahilllpc
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DISCUSSED IN THIS VIDEO:
0:00 intro
3:00 favoritism among siblings
4:05 subtypes of narcissism
5:25 narcissistic sociopaths
5:52 2 types of narcissists (vulnerable and grandiose)
6:49 power differentials keep you beneath the narcissistic sibling
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DISCLAIMER:
*Videos are provided for exploration and educational purposes only and does not constitute clinical suggestions or consultation for individual cases.
If you or someone you know is having a medical emergency involving harm to self, please reach out to the suicide prevention hotline suicidepreventionlifeline.org/.
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----Contact me-------(BUSINESS INQUIRIES ONLY)
I'm Támara, a licensed and internationally/Board certified trauma mental health therapist, with over 14 years experience. I specialize in helping children, teens, and families with mental illness. I also treat psychological/emotional trauma in children, teens, and adults.
If you'd like to contact me or inquire about my international consultations, you may email me at contact@anchoredinknowledge.com. *Please note: all consultations are charged a fixed rate fee based on the case content.
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Пікірлер: 128

  • @TherapistTamaraHill
    @TherapistTamaraHill Жыл бұрын

    If you want to learn about parental jealousy of the adult child, click here: kzread.info/dash/bejne/oniZ2q-sgru6hZs.html

  • @TherapistTamaraHill

    @TherapistTamaraHill

    Жыл бұрын

    You're welcome!

  • @Xodeladelamore
    @Xodeladelamore9 ай бұрын

    Ppl who dont have this issues with siblings are sooooo lucky😢

  • @rosettajackson7099

    @rosettajackson7099

    5 ай бұрын

    I have it with mines i went no contact with my toxic family. I was a scapegoat black sheep. She has made threats to beat me up. Because i was a truth teller i stood up. I have a jealous Narcissistic mother as well........

  • @michaelaxis6304

    @michaelaxis6304

    4 ай бұрын

    @@rosettajackson7099 I am happy for you Hope i get out too

  • @alexishill3342

    @alexishill3342

    4 ай бұрын

    You are so right. I'm one of five, and I have come to believe that people who don't have siblings at all are the lucky ones. That's how bad it is between us because our mom is a narcissistic sociopath.

  • @lungilemgwebi8712

    @lungilemgwebi8712

    2 ай бұрын

    It's rare

  • @rajuncajun1637
    @rajuncajun16376 ай бұрын

    My sister is a covert/ closet narcissist. She is evil and I don’t trust her.

  • @jounreymae5599

    @jounreymae5599

    2 ай бұрын

    Yes I agree with you feel same way.. keep your guess at all times stay protected

  • @Ari-yg3iu
    @Ari-yg3iu Жыл бұрын

    I honestly needed to hear this more than ever. It’s crazy how much emotional damage a narcissist can cause. They’ll hold on to anything and strike you with revenge when you least expect it. Completely degrade and humiliate everyone around them with zero remorse. The arrogance is insane. To everyone dealing with this, be careful & just stay away.

  • @cynthiafortier2540

    @cynthiafortier2540

    Жыл бұрын

    Yes SO true, JUST stay away. Love that, best advice ever!!

  • @Abulina09
    @Abulina092 ай бұрын

    My sibling is on a power trip to divide and conquer the family. She wants to control our parents through victim mentality, and wants everyone to pity her and take care of her while pushing me out the picture and spreading lies on me because I'm very loved in my family. It's really sickening

  • @mattmachinecity9483

    @mattmachinecity9483

    Ай бұрын

    I think I'm going through this as we speak

  • @justice8563
    @justice8563 Жыл бұрын

    It was a few years ago that I realized that their jealousy was why they were so controlling, verbally, emotionally and physically abusive. I’ve dealt with so many traits of a sociopathic/narcissists and it’s always based on jealousy and a need to either sabotage or use coercive control to cover it up and play innocent.

  • @CherrysJubileeJoyfully

    @CherrysJubileeJoyfully

    Жыл бұрын

    You are not alone

  • @justice8563

    @justice8563

    Жыл бұрын

    @@CherrysJubileeJoyfully As comforting as that is to know I’m not alone, it also saddens me that people like this walk among good people because of such hateful, spiteful, and uncontrollable jealousy. All of us deserve better.

  • @SD-rm5ty

    @SD-rm5ty

    Жыл бұрын

    Exactly and you're not alone ❤

  • @GuitarMatt

    @GuitarMatt

    5 ай бұрын

    If you DARE say anything that's not SUBMISSIVE enough to those SUBHUMANS at some point, then they'll PROJECT and say that you're supposedly "jealous" back behind your back It's all about ONE WORD regarding those types... DOMINATION (put under the subtle guise TO THE PUBLIC of trying to "care" about you or me)

  • @fifilafleur5555

    @fifilafleur5555

    4 ай бұрын

    @@GuitarMatt, 💯💯💯

  • @rosettajackson7099
    @rosettajackson70995 ай бұрын

    I went no contact with toxic family,mother and siblings. My sister went as far as making threats of bodily harm. I am not scared but staying away from my family is very important they are dangerous to me. I was a scapegoat and blacksheep always bullied up on i was a truth teller. No contact was the best thing i ever done. Protect your peace and mental and physical health. My siblings are definently Narcissistic

  • @kateb7155
    @kateb7155 Жыл бұрын

    There is a lot of information everywhere about being romantically involved with a narcissist but not enough information about the family of origin relationships with that narcissist. I've been entangled romantically with a narcissist and it was NOTHING compared to the trauma inflicted upon me by my narcissist sister. I did not understand that she is a narcissist until I had to go 100% no contact to protect myself from her and seek trauma counseling to overcome the harm I suffered from her pathological behaviors, so many of which you detail in this video. I am doing much better in my life now overall, but I am not sure I will ever fully heal from the impacts of the betrayals and abuses. Thank you for making this video; familial narcissist relationships are very challenging and damaging. Even knowing the litany of damage and harm she inflicted on me, some people think I should seek reconciliation with her because she is my sister. She is and will always be a narcissist first and only, and I have no plan to allow her even a toetip in my life. I know the monster she really is and "family" is no longer a facade she can hide behind and use to manipulate and harm me!

  • @taraarrington2285

    @taraarrington2285

    Жыл бұрын

    ♥️

  • @nancybartley4610

    @nancybartley4610

    Жыл бұрын

    They are very different and lumping them is confusing. If anyone finds a therapist on KZread who addresses only family issues with narcissism, I would appreciate a recommendation. I agree that narcissism in families is far more complicated and harmful and different than romantic experiences with it. This isn't too diminish the hurt experienced in romantic encounters. But being raised by a narcissist!!!!!!!!! It isn't the same.

  • @cece3917

    @cece3917

    Жыл бұрын

    I’m going through it now all over again I went back to deal with my sister. And I knew better, my ex is also one it is so painful the details are to long and sordid but trust me . The two of them (together betrayed me)so deeply. And people will say that’s your sister. She is a covert the most trickiest and dangerous .They have no clue. Stay strong❤

  • @LuckiestStarByFar

    @LuckiestStarByFar

    11 ай бұрын

    I could have written this myself. I went through the same thing. The door is forever shut on her.

  • @myFloweryLife

    @myFloweryLife

    7 ай бұрын

  • @taraarrington2285
    @taraarrington2285 Жыл бұрын

    Are all narcissists extremely competitive? Why would they put you in a game you don't even want to be in or didn't know you're in I don't like to compete and I don't care but I think they do

  • @TherapistTamaraHill

    @TherapistTamaraHill

    Жыл бұрын

    I wouldn't say all narcissists but I would say most. Most are competitive because they believe they can win until reality shows them something different.

  • @rogerzambranomusic
    @rogerzambranomusic4 ай бұрын

    My sister has been ruining my life for over 33 years, I was never protected, and my family still endorse and applaud her ways till this day. I don’t know what to do.

  • @Sigi67

    @Sigi67

    3 ай бұрын

    I share your pain my friend, It hurts once we realize,and best thing to do is go no contact,it work for me so far,the happiest moments will come soon after

  • @AmazinCarpeDiem

    @AmazinCarpeDiem

    2 ай бұрын

    Separate. Put yourself first.

  • @43cassy

    @43cassy

    Ай бұрын

    Leave

  • @TheTalisman515
    @TheTalisman5152 ай бұрын

    Both my siblings are narcissistic, I was the scapegoat and was able to self reflect and work on myself. It still sucks that I can’t have a normal relationship with my siblings and family but the cycle ends with me and will go no further

  • @43cassy

    @43cassy

    Ай бұрын

    Good for you!✨

  • @bcbro142
    @bcbro142 Жыл бұрын

    2 of my sisters were like this until I had to recently cut them out of my life I just wish I had done it a long time ago

  • @truth4utoda

    @truth4utoda

    Жыл бұрын

    Go gurl

  • @TherapistTamaraHill

    @TherapistTamaraHill

    Жыл бұрын

    completely understand. You have to make healthy decisions for you.

  • @taraarrington2285

    @taraarrington2285

    Жыл бұрын

  • @beelarehman5992

    @beelarehman5992

    6 ай бұрын

    Two! You poor thing. I had one.

  • @rajuncajun1637

    @rajuncajun1637

    6 ай бұрын

    Me too Finally!

  • @JL-kf8mw
    @JL-kf8mw Жыл бұрын

    My sister started off lying about me at an early age, to becoming a groupie as a teenager and dropping names of people meets. When that didn’t get her enough attention (or positive attention), she would tell people that she loves me but I abuse her which never happened, and then in private would tell me that everyone hated me and that I should kill myself. That turned into a mantra for her, like “you need to die, everyone hates you, you should hurry up and die. I hate you.” That would be followed with crying to our mother with “I,love her, mommy. I’m afraid she’s going to do something crazy.” She did this until I finally cut them off at 30 years old after a temper tantrum where she just screamed “die die die die” at me for around 5-10 minutes. I don’t know if that is narcissistic or psycho, but my family just writes it off to “Well…she holds a grudge.” I never did anything to her for her to hold a grudge against, but I’m sure she made up a few doozies. I don’t think I’ll ever totally get over it.

  • @LuckiestStarByFar

    @LuckiestStarByFar

    11 ай бұрын

    Evil exists and this is a perfect example of it.

  • @alwaysyouramanda

    @alwaysyouramanda

    10 ай бұрын

    My gosh, I’m so sorry you had to deal with that. Gosh- sometimes I think my situation is bad and then I read a comment like this 😢😢😢😢 the depravity..

  • @myFloweryLife

    @myFloweryLife

    7 ай бұрын

    I thought I have a crazy devil in my house but it turns out your crazy sibling is crazier than mine 😅They are pathetic, that's all, but never let her control your mind. She is a devil and nothing more. A devil in misery

  • @leslievanduzee9282

    @leslievanduzee9282

    5 ай бұрын

    Wow, what a horrible nightmare for you

  • @fifilafleur5555

    @fifilafleur5555

    4 ай бұрын

    JL-kf8mw, I hear you and I believe you. I understand. Your sister is evil. I know all about the lies they tell behind our backs while **pretending** to love us to others… the evil things they say & do when there are no witnesses. Our society (and anyone half way decent and good) need to understand these evil individuals exist and they can fool most anyone. They are “Satan’s Army.” His legion…

  • @bethharvey5170
    @bethharvey51706 ай бұрын

    I appreciate you so much- it’s important to have therapists who understand narcissistic abuse- who can educate others and empathize with the pain of losing one’s family.

  • @TherapistTamaraHill

    @TherapistTamaraHill

    6 ай бұрын

    Thank you! Very glad this is helpful to you. More coming on this topic in 2024. It's a subject we need more of.

  • @fifilafleur5555

    @fifilafleur5555

    4 ай бұрын

    @@TherapistTamaraHill, yes please!!! 💯💯💯

  • @theperfectautumn8781
    @theperfectautumn8781 Жыл бұрын

    Got two of these...older and younger brothers. Growing up with them, I am convinced that narcissists are "made" rather than "born" that way. Weak, sinister narcissistic father and a passive mother couldn't get along [no surprise] and therefore [at different stages in our lives] turned to us kids for emotional support and strength...but two parents, [as much as they couldn't get along], never emotionally separated from each other. So, we kids became the buffers that allowed our parents to stay together, even though they couldn't make it with each other.

  • @taraarrington2285

    @taraarrington2285

    Жыл бұрын

    I think it's statistically proven that the golden children usually become narcissistic

  • @fifilafleur5555

    @fifilafleur5555

    4 ай бұрын

    @@taraarrington2285, yes!

  • @jenaybrown4575
    @jenaybrown4575 Жыл бұрын

    I’m leaving to let go of my family. The fog has been lifted and I see them for who they are. They need help but can’t see it and continue the cycle.

  • @sirrantsalott
    @sirrantsalott Жыл бұрын

    I have 4 jealous siblings out of 6 because I have a Self, have the courage to be financially independent on my own, and I’ve become way more successful than them, emotionally, intellectually, and practically.

  • @stillToxed2loss
    @stillToxed2loss3 ай бұрын

    I read several of the comments. My heart goes out to you. I’m also a little relieved😬 its not just me. I have an extremely dysfunctional family. Two narc parents (divorced when I was 13), 1 brother, 4 sisters. I’m 3rd from the top and the scapegoat. I’m 63 now. Its taken me decades to work through my issues. Some of it still baffles me. I went no contact long ago but have given them the opportunity to reconnect if they can behave decently. I have one sister that is doing the same thing. We get along. The one I wanted to share about was the golden child. We recently tried to reconnect. It started well (love bombing), then the snide, jealous comments started coming out! There were a couple of really weird things that this video was helpful with. She co-opted my life! I should point out right here I don’t have a great life. I can’t think why anyone would want it! I was hated by my mother and ridiculed constantly. This sibling started telling me the horrible things that our mother “did and said” to her, only it was me they were really done and said to! As an adult things started going better but then I got pesticide poisoned in 1996. I’m multiply and severely disabled. This sibling started claiming those things as well! I am married and my husband has stuck by me; rare for people in my condition. I have 2 grown kids and 5 grandkids. I don’t get to see them much, I’m forced to live in isolation. They come visit when they can. My sibling, married and divorced 3 times, 3 kids, estranged. So I invited her to come visit. I explained the protocols necessary to not harm me. She did pretty good but she kept flirting with my husband. Offering to cook for him, make him pies. I found it wierd and offensive. When she left, she forgot something in a place I can’t go due to my disability. She got vicious and snarky because I couldn’t go look for it. When my husband next came, he went and checked. It was there. She made a huge deal about how he was a hero and being snide to me. Not a big deal really, just weird. Anyway she was going to reward him with a pie… I put my foot down. It was the same triangulating behavior our mother always did with her 1st husband! Needless to say huge blow up. No contact. This video clicked, jealousy. Thank you Tamara.

  • @fifilafleur5555
    @fifilafleur55554 ай бұрын

    A guy I once dated, who I believe is a malignant narcissist, once told me my abusers (half sister & her mother) want me dead. Literally. I will never forget him telling me that. It was so hard to wrap my head around. But someone like him recognized his own kind and told me their punishment for the harm they have caused me… is just being who they are. They have to live with themselves every day. I have never forgotten his words.

  • @transformationwithmax4930
    @transformationwithmax4930 Жыл бұрын

    Family does not equate to love! Sometimes an outside influence can corrupt the family dynamic. Such as; the spouse of a son or daughter, mixing two different family experiences can spell disaster! Ultimately it is a test for control or divides and conquer for control. A parent or grandparent cannot counter this dynamic without major consequences Sometimes we have to let the divider, and the person that we love go! In hopes that the person that we love comes to their senses, or not!

  • @TherapistTamaraHill

    @TherapistTamaraHill

    Жыл бұрын

    Well said! Agree.

  • @meibaola
    @meibaola3 ай бұрын

    Thank you for the definition of antagonistic narcissist: I had never heard about it before and it fits my sister as a glove. I was feeling confused because I sensed narcissism in her but she didn't fit in any of the sub-types that I knew before. This finally explains it.

  • @debbiewilson-obrien4350
    @debbiewilson-obrien43504 ай бұрын

    How about under-the-belt insults?

  • @Rflower1
    @Rflower13 ай бұрын

    My siblings sold our parents home without telling me. It was under contract when I got the email. It was in a small mailbox when I saw it. I called the lawyer thinking that it was a scam but it was true. They sold the mortgage free, 3 bedroom ranch, 2 acres of land for 23k. It was in an affluent neighborhood and pristine. I am the youngest and paid the utilities and taxes even though I am disabled and was unemployed. I cried all the way to the lawyers. The lawyer saw my pain and saw that I knew absolutely about the decision. She told me that didn't have to sign because, "No one signature was more important than the others." I signed trying to keep the peace because I get bullied. The lawyer asked had I done anything for the estate for the last 120 days. I told her yes and that I'd been paying to keep the utilities on since my mom had died and I'd just had the property landscaped and paid the property taxes. She asked for receipts which I had because I paid it online. She printed it off and said that my siblings would have to treat me as a "creditor". They would have to pay me out of the sell or more like, "the give away." They became angry and stopped speaking to me for a year. They only started because we saw each other at a reunion. My sister called me once they got the breakdown and asked if I felt that I was bring fair and Christian. She stole my sister's and mother's money by added her name on their bank accounts even though I had to settle their estates financially. Admittedly, that year was so peaceful and stress-free.

  • @alwaysyouramanda
    @alwaysyouramanda10 ай бұрын

    The picture not being there got me 😢😢😢😢

  • @truth4utoda
    @truth4utoda Жыл бұрын

    I didn't realize how much I needed this topic Tamara. Thank you

  • @TherapistTamaraHill

    @TherapistTamaraHill

    Жыл бұрын

    🤗 You're welcome

  • @makaylahollywood3677
    @makaylahollywood3677 Жыл бұрын

    Middle child, first girl born in a family of ten- all loved by mom and dad, favorites of course, NPD father, jealous siblings, scapegoat, triangulation, some closeness & betrayal- a cult-like underground relating...honestly, I tried so hard to fit in- walked out after parents passed. I miss the family I don't know how to love...without getting hurt.

  • @TherapistTamaraHill

    @TherapistTamaraHill

    Жыл бұрын

    I'm so sorry. It sounds like you have a genuine heart to love your family but the dynamics are difficult.

  • @nancybartley4610

    @nancybartley4610

    Жыл бұрын

    Your last comment, "I don't know how to love without getting hurt" says so much about how and why we struggle. Family is so important. I need/want them to matter. It seems it only matters to me. Is it love if it only flows one way? Or are we all refusing to accept that people have different outlooks, different ways of caring, different degrees of need? Am I expecting too much from my family? Do I expect them to live up to my expectations and standards and refuse to accept theirs? It has been a hard lesson to learn, but I finally came to the decision that I have to decide what kind of person I want to be and set boundaries based on who I am. If someone doesn't want me around, doesn't care enough about me to spend time with me, doesn't act in ways I consider loving and respectful, then I have to make a decision how to have that person(s) in my life. Do I only do holidays? Do I make routine calls to be sure they are ok? Do I do this without hoping for anything in return. It is an individual decision for each of us. I think many of us can do this because we do care. It is went we realize that we are deliberately being abused by "loved ones" who only think of us when they need something that we begin to question our determination to love them. Would we allow nonfamily to treat us this way? Would you spend a holiday with someone who despises you? It is at that moment that you begin to wonder why you disrespect yourself so much and why/where you got the idea that family matters.

  • @SD-rm5ty

    @SD-rm5ty

    Жыл бұрын

    Same..😢

  • @chriswalls5831
    @chriswalls58315 ай бұрын

    Notice they were jealous

  • @a.y.7738
    @a.y.77389 ай бұрын

    The subject of Birth Order is very important. It breaks down the sibling dynamics in families. The youngest usually recruits the eldest to pick on the middle child. The oldest complies as they covet the youngest for attention.

  • @citizenkang2524
    @citizenkang2524 Жыл бұрын

    The more I exert my financial and legal power over my severe narcissist sister to empath protect the family bag that my mother left us in trust and that my sister has exhibited all misfeasance and malfeasance under her watch, the more and more passive aggressive my sister becomes. This is the same sister that put my mother in two nursing homes, allowed our childhood home to be reduced to a near lean-to and played fast and loose with the proceeds from our our oil, saline and timber land. Before everyone discovered that my severe narcissist mother left me the controlling money, my sister allowed her two girls to talk to me any ole way. Rat has now got their tongues in the absence of a last will and testament and now that I've retained two attorneys to enforce my lord protecting of the family bag. And now, sister dearest is catching mail fraud and mail theft case with the U.S. Postal Inspector for having my mail forwarded without my authorization from my Chicago home that I'm restoring to code to her home in Washington, D.C.

  • @truth4utoda
    @truth4utoda Жыл бұрын

    My husband is dealing with this right now. I just spoke with you about this. It is so sad

  • @TherapistTamaraHill

    @TherapistTamaraHill

    Жыл бұрын

    It's a very difficult dynamic indeed.

  • @stellarose5630
    @stellarose56302 ай бұрын

    I deal with many people who have these qualities, family or otherwise. They have hurt me in many different respects, I am currently working on my personal growth 🙏🏻

  • @jeanmm6823
    @jeanmm682311 ай бұрын

    As I am becoming older, and becoming more confident in my strengths, I am now realizing the brunt of my childhood has revolved around narcissism. I’m nearing 40 and just now coming into myself. I knew my sister was not free of blame, however, now I can put a label to it and understand where she’s coming from. And where she can tell her self to shove it and also where I can go to find peace. I wonder where I would have been, had I not been covered so much in Kaka 💩 Peace unto those who need it.

  • @bbjoyce-je1vx
    @bbjoyce-je1vx Жыл бұрын

    Thank You so much for this video. My sibling is vicious. She looked up to me as a kid. She was a joy to be around. But when she grew into a young adult, she and our mother teamed up and bullied me constantly. Growing up, people said I was the pretty child. She didn't mind hearing that about me when she was young. As she grew up, her & our mom had formed an alliance against me. I minded my own business. She & mother accused me of being selfish, and stealing attention. I was not doing this. But they kept bullying me. I was receiving the attention they both wanted but didn't get. I figured that was why they were aggressive towards me. To this day, they both lie about me to others. Sibling became a minister like I used to be. She started looking down on me by chastising me with indirect insults geared to showing her superiority over me. I did not think or behave that way when I was a minister. They still get angry now when I get compliments about my appearance. She had her young children walk up to me and say..." You're not the pretty one, our mom is". She was smirking as they said it. She knows she is not very attractive and I do not understand her level of treachery, vindictiveness and viciousness. I didn't do anything to my mom & sibling. She is always trying to one up me. I have gone " no contact" last yr. She is very arrogant , bitter and angry at me. She used to try to imitate everything about me. I thought she was a friend, but it is very difficult to be around her and my vicious, scheming, plotting mother. They both scheme and plot against me and it has made my life difficult. I catch her standing off watching me when we attend social events. It is really creepy. Thank You so much for this clarifying video.

  • @peaceandquiet62

    @peaceandquiet62

    6 ай бұрын

    I experienced the same thing from my sister and mother. They formed an alliance against me. Just like you I am considered the pretty one. The emotional abuse has broken my heart. Just wish I could go back in time and go no contact as a young adult.

  • @fifilafleur5555

    @fifilafleur5555

    4 ай бұрын

    Living it too.

  • @Abulina09

    @Abulina09

    2 ай бұрын

    You hit the nail perfectly on the head with this entire post!!!! I have literally sabotaged my appearance so as to not feel more beautiful than my sibling and parent who visibly want to be the prettiest and most successful. They've even gone as far as try to gain sexual attention from my spouse, which is just repulsive and so desperate in my opinion! Even though I know I shouldn't sabotage myself, somehow I'm still in a trance of "staying in my place" and doing my best to be less than them to stroke their ego and remain unhurt by them or not to make them feel less than. It's a viscious cycle that I'm trying to figure out how to break out of, because although I'm trying my best to stroke their ego and make them feel superior, they couldn't care less about how I feel - both them and an aunt of mine are like this- and their spouses are too weak to stand up to them, so all three of them are just tyrants in the family. It's a generational curse that started with my grandmothers being resentful because of their inadequacies and then it trickled down to their daughters and grandaughter. I have tried my best to keep my distance to recover and gain strength without feeling guilty for succeeding or as if I will be threatened or knocked down because I win, but it's so hard, knowing that there's likely smear campaigns going on against me behind my back because I'm the one who financially knew how to take care of myself, and I used to take care of all of them but decided not to and now they're even more resentful. It's a hard road, but I pray everyone working for a better tomorrow will see it one day ❤‍🩹

  • @bygraceandmercy

    @bygraceandmercy

    2 ай бұрын

    If you ignore them consistently for long enough you will conquer them. Grow yourself some thick skin to the point where nothing they ever do or say makes you react. You respond wisely where there's need. Otherwise, you just ignore, ignore and ignore. CTL + ALT + DEL....REPEAT. Make them irrelevant and that'll disarm them.

  • @CremeBrulee543
    @CremeBrulee543 Жыл бұрын

    This information is so helpful and relevant. Thank u so much!

  • @TherapistTamaraHill

    @TherapistTamaraHill

    Жыл бұрын

    You're welcome! Very glad it is helpful to you 😊

  • @transformationwithmax4930
    @transformationwithmax4930 Жыл бұрын

    Dear Tamara, bless you and continue your powerful practice, and work.

  • @TherapistTamaraHill

    @TherapistTamaraHill

    Жыл бұрын

    Thank you so much!❤ God bless you!

  • @cathygoltsoff9615
    @cathygoltsoff96155 ай бұрын

    Thank you for making this video.

  • @carynpercell8979
    @carynpercell8979 Жыл бұрын

    How to narrow down exactly which one they are? Every description resonated as behaviors I’ve had to deal with. I finally had to go no contact and have spent 5 years in weekly therapy. Unfortunately, no contact has been only since August of this year. The damage with the smear campaigns and lies affected literally every area and every relationship I had. My world shrank and the ones that I didn’t think would ever engage with her or her lies did and ghosted me. Friendships and family of 35+ years and family friends I’ve know my whole life, 56 years. Couple that with grief, childhood trauma, and full time caretaker for sick and elderly parents has left me an absolute shell of who I was.

  • @41yazz
    @41yazz5 ай бұрын

    thank you I needed to hear this

  • @TherapistTamaraHill

    @TherapistTamaraHill

    5 ай бұрын

    You're welcome. Glad this was helpful to you!

  • @lovesings2us
    @lovesings2us8 ай бұрын

    Thank you! This really helped me.

  • @TherapistTamaraHill

    @TherapistTamaraHill

    8 ай бұрын

    You're welcome!

  • @auntchristina
    @auntchristinaАй бұрын

    My sister seduced and had sex with my first boyfriend and didn’t feel bad at all. It traumatized me. She later in life was just awful, told people I made up that I was in hospital. But the latest was I loaned her money because she came over crying, I asked when she would be able to pay me back a few months later- she then accused me of owing her money. She made up stories that I owed her money to feel better not paying me back. Then she gave me half of it back a year later and said it was because she has integrity. She is just a cruel person. I really tried to have a relationship with her, moved to Texas from my beautiful home in CA to be closer to her and her kids. I’ve helped her and her kids so much financially that any money she mad up that I owed her would have by far been surpassed. She has proven to just be the same cruel person from when we were little. Ungrateful, selfish and just straight mean. It hurts a lot and sickly I miss her. 😢

  • @bchristi82
    @bchristi8210 ай бұрын

    Oh man, I’m definitely walking away wondering if I’m the narcissist now… I have issues with jobs & interpersonal relationships but I also have a fair bit of trauma from scapegoat abuse.

  • @n0ts0B9

    @n0ts0B9

    9 ай бұрын

    Scapegoats are always convinced that they're the problem. The relational issues at work are the scars. If you were the narc, you wouldn't even be asking yourself if you are.

  • @noelc2

    @noelc2

    Ай бұрын

    If you’re asking if you are, you’re not.

  • @louisaa.4614
    @louisaa.4614 Жыл бұрын

    OMG my sister is the vulnerable narc , you just described her to a T 🤨

  • @ezraspiritualandworldlygui8266
    @ezraspiritualandworldlygui8266Ай бұрын

    I identify with what you are talking about as the beloved one. Thank you

  • @TherapistTamaraHill

    @TherapistTamaraHill

    Ай бұрын

    Welcome!

  • @bethharvey5170
    @bethharvey51706 ай бұрын

    My 2 siblings and I married narcissists, but I’m the only one who was able to end my marriage and figure out how to have a decent life afterwards- my two siblings were unable to figure anything out, and are now miserable enough to bully me for being happy. They are horrible, bitter people that I’ve had to walk away from.

  • @TherapistTamaraHill

    @TherapistTamaraHill

    6 ай бұрын

    I'm sorry you have to go through this. Not something I'm sure you expected to happen. Sounds like they really need to do their own work in therapy.

  • @bygraceandmercy

    @bygraceandmercy

    2 ай бұрын

    It's not too uncommon. People who stay in narcissistic marriages often envy those who can gather enough courage to walk away. Not everyone is brave enough. Go no or little contact with them if you can.

  • @sherry3935
    @sherry39354 ай бұрын

    My sister is all the above. She’s a pathological liar too.

  • @christinecronk9234
    @christinecronk92347 ай бұрын

    Yup true stuff❤

  • @marcelclover6650
    @marcelclover66509 ай бұрын

    very good video.

  • @TherapistTamaraHill

    @TherapistTamaraHill

    9 ай бұрын

    Thank you very much!

  • @theshineprjct
    @theshineprjctАй бұрын

    This is strange but I found out my younger sister is covert when she revealed a few years ago that she was seeing a psychic. I realized that she talked to the psychic about me and also asked her about my life and future. If she heard anything about where my life was headed,over time her rage and anger creeped up as passive aggressive statements hidden as jokes. Because we are half siblings,I wasn’t raised to create boundaries but her mom,who we were raised together with started telling her feelings on how my dad treated her or her opinions on how I live my life,started permeating into my sister and I’s relationship. She tried to hide her rage and ‘competition’ in recent years but for me,it started to look dangerous so I moved away to protect myself.

  • @nancyP7448
    @nancyP74486 ай бұрын

    Thank you

  • @TherapistTamaraHill

    @TherapistTamaraHill

    6 ай бұрын

    You're welcome

  • @fifilafleur5555
    @fifilafleur5555Ай бұрын

    Yes, I have a younger half sister like this. I have chosen to have nothing to do with her. Her mother (my dad’s third wife) enjoys pitting her against me. My dad goes along. I keep my dad at arm’s length now. His wife is out like their daughter. I refuse to play their sick games. I’ll never go back.

  • @SD-rm5ty
    @SD-rm5ty Жыл бұрын

    I still have very much unresolved issues with my siblings. 😢😢😢 My siblings are so passive aggressive with me. They have no idea how much they have hurt me due to my defense mechanisms.😢😢I'm defective and disabled and disposable when one of them tried to abuse me sexually when we were younger, but I'm the one in the wrong I'm the one with the problem and delusional, instead of an apology my sibling told me he's a sociopath, I didn't believe it for a while but now in trying to dissect what my insecurities stem from I realize a lot of it has to do with them. 😢😢😢 My youngest sibling is a vulnerable narc and my oldest is a grandiose/ sociopathic narc. I fear mine are vindictive.

  • @starlitestarbright514
    @starlitestarbright5146 күн бұрын

    My twin brother is a narcissist and an alcoholic. He has always abused me ever since we were kids. His life is in ruins, but he thinks that he has magical powers. He has a KZread channel, and all he does is complain about me. I have a " no contact order" against him. I will no longer let him mess with me anymore. EVER !!!!!

  • @starlitestarbright514

    @starlitestarbright514

    6 күн бұрын

    Edit: He gets horribly drunk on his channel and it's cringy.

  • @Starstorm111
    @Starstorm11114 күн бұрын

    Im struggling. I’m the old one 32, she’s 24. We had an extremely abusive family and malignant mother. We both were adopted by diff families. We met again after 11 years. I was so happy. After 8 ys in touch with other.. I received some cruel comments from her I can not keep out of my mind. I am an artist and have a public persona.. for me is not a big deal. I found my sis sharing personal info on social media about our family.. answering some “fans” questions.. making some hard comments to me like : “ how can you be so happy with the shiiity life you had? “ in a very cold arrogant way.. out of the blue. She would hide being in touch with our bio mother for a year and after she understood what kind of person she was, she told me ..: I did not believe you when you told me about our mother.. after a year talking with her now I do.. ( in a very cold demeanor ).. she would never appreciate openly how I cared or treated her when she visits me. She would come with me to a job trip where I thought she could find inspiration.. and she would say things like.. “ don’t you get bored??”… like what? We have love for each other , there kind a tension but there’s also love.. but there are this comments I don’t get. She would compare one of my ex partners who was an actor.. with another actor she liked and say something like: I find more attractive this one.. like what?? She was 16 at that time. She would appear seminude with a tinny tinny bikini with half of her boobs out in the kitchen when on holidays with my partner and friends.. she is gorgeous and smart but it felt kinda .. something was going on .. like what are you doing sleeping almost nude on the sofa?? (Top less) Like weird stuff… I would feel a energy that confused me like I don’t know if she loves me or is competing with me.. She would bring up things about my childhood out of the blue in front of others ( like .. do you remember when you were abandoned at that house??) during a breakfast with our partners.. like what? You were also abandoned but what’s the point??? I mean..Im confused but lately my gut is telling me not to talk to her and get away.. even if it hurts and I’m highly confused.

  • @HijadeDiosS.____..
    @HijadeDiosS.____.. Жыл бұрын

    Is this way they cross boundries always like in cyber invadeing my phone? It very hurtful to accept/know Im not even loved as a sibling to those I love. Been dealing with so much though the yrs nd this add on. been dealing with it in silence for yrs...Ty for all the support/info u share with us. 💕

  • @taraarrington2285

    @taraarrington2285

    Жыл бұрын

    It's so weird how they'll have people watching you when they're the ones who need to be watched

  • @TherapistTamaraHill

    @TherapistTamaraHill

    Жыл бұрын

    I'm so sorry to hear this. It's never an easy pill to swallow when it's your sibling. Our society teaches us that siblings are "everything" to us but the reality is that this is not for everyone.

  • @l3Ea-YoU-T-UB-eFuLL
    @l3Ea-YoU-T-UB-eFuLL9 ай бұрын

    0:29 ditto!

  • @Smartbeautifulawesome
    @SmartbeautifulawesomeАй бұрын

    My siblings are mean for no reason but we’re half siblings and I don’t have anyone anymore idk. It’s super fake and abusive

  • @rebeccabecca1308
    @rebeccabecca13089 ай бұрын

    Yes all but 1 sibling of mine is narcissistic 😢

  • @lorilawley7087
    @lorilawley70877 ай бұрын

    I don’t see where going into my room or office in the home is sibling rivary.

  • @TherapistTamaraHill

    @TherapistTamaraHill

    7 ай бұрын

    It's all about the context. Let's say, for example, you live in the same house as your sibling and you retreat to your room every day for months because you don't want to look at or talk to your sibling, that's sibling rivalry. You may even retreat to your room and refuse to say hi to them if you cross paths in the hallway.

  • @marcelclover6650
    @marcelclover66509 ай бұрын

    you should have more Subs & Suds in your Tub

  • @BaeBe-tz5nk
    @BaeBe-tz5nkАй бұрын

    Moms oldest Two younger sister's are covert 2 younger brothers are malognant/Sociopathic

  • @theshineprjct
    @theshineprjctАй бұрын

    This is strange but I found out my younger sister is covert when she revealed a few years ago that she was seeing a psychic. I realized that she talked to the psychic about me and also asked her about my life and future. If she heard anything about where my life was headed,over time her rage and anger creeped up as passive aggressive statements hidden as jokes. Because we are half siblings,I wasn’t raised to create boundaries but her mom,who we were raised together with started telling her feelings on how my dad treated her or her opinions on how I live my life,started permeating into my sister and I’s relationship. She tried to hide her rage and ‘competition’ in recent years but for me,it started to look dangerous so I moved away to protect myself.My brother has big network of savvy street friends,he’s good at set ups and triangulation. He doesn’t like that I don’t fall for his schemes…..

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